You Mad Cause We Getting Our Nuts Off Huh

You mad cause we getting our nuts off huh

just so you know, you have some followers who enjoy/write fanfiction. not saying their urls rn bc i don’t wanna air out dirty laundry in public but if you want them so you can block and report, just say the word and i’ll dm you a list

pls, he's just baby 😭

Genesis is literally the number one yapper of ff7

he literally screwed himself over in the reactor scene by yapping too much

Fluff?Tseng x Reader. You live together and you bring home a cat. Tseng is a certified cat dad.

You're on a mission together, and you come across a stray kitten. The cutest tuxedo cat, couldn't have been anything older than a couple of months. Covered in gunk and clearly far too thin, you couldn't help but feel sympathy for the poor guy. Tseng noticing your attention drawn to the cat, and with a disapproving look, he grabs your arm, tugging you onward for your mission.

On your way out of the building you spot the cat again, allowing Tseng to get a few steps ahead of you, quickly stuffing the kitten under your dress shirt, tucking your shirt into place so it wouldn't fall out. Hurriedly buttoning up your blazer to try and hide the bulge of the kitten. Tseng, realizing you're falling behind, calling out for you to hurry so you can get on the helicopter.

As you settle into your seat, Tseng can't help but notice the way you're clutching yourself. Raising an eyebrow curiously as he examines you, asking “Why are you holding your stomach?”

Quickly making an attempt to cover up your little secret, you brush him off, telling him that you didn't feel good. Surprisingly, he shrugs it off. Maybe it was due to how loud the helicopter is. Maybe he even believed you.

The moment you arrived at the Shinra building, you quickly disappeared. Tseng somehow didn't even see you make your way from the helipad, assuming you went off to fill out a mission report. Though that's not at all what you did.

Tseng's surely going to be pissed when you never arrived at his office with a mission report. Instead, stopping at a store for cat supplies before going to your shared condo to make your new friend comfortable. After all, this was now your main priority, immediately bathing, feeding, and ensuring the kitten had water. Your new little fur baby was settling in perfectly. You could only hope that you wouldn't need to rehome the sweet fellow, Tseng made it clear that he doesn't care for pets very much. Stating that babysitting Darkstar on occasion was more than enough.

As you're curled up on the couch with the precious fluff ball, you hear the jingle of Tseng’s keys at the door. Pulling the kitten against you, attempting to cover it with the throw blanket you were snuggled into, watching with anticipation as he walked through the door.

You were spot on in reference to earlier’s assumption. He looked annoyed beyond belief, his voice matching his expression. “Where were you?” Taking a few steps closer to you as he began grilling you for your absence. “You know the routine, you're to fill out a report after every-”

Cutting himself off, Tseng raises an eyebrow as he notices the unmistakable squirming coming from under your blanket. Narrowing his eyes as he immediately realizes why you were so quick to scurry off. “You didn't.” Is all he could say, disbelief evident in his voice.

“I didn't what?” You ask almost too innocently as you clearly try to keep the kitten contained under the blanket. The kitten was surely winning, wriggling itself from your hands and falling from under the blanket onto the floor. An awkward silence following the reveal. Tseng stared at the tiny black and white baby now sitting on his living room floor, his eyes meeting yours again.

“You did.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Tseng lets out a long sigh. Watching as the kitten trots over to him, sniffing his foot out of curiosity before rubbing against his leg. Stepping away from the cat in an attempt to halt any further affectionate behavior but failing as the kitten follows him. Rubbing against his leg once more, this time noting the motorboat like purring coming from the tiny vessel. No, no, he would not let the cat win.

Scooping the kitten up in one hand, Tseng holds it against him. There was no way he couldn't acknowledge the way its purring intensified as he held it. Frowning deeply as his eyes drifted from the kitten back to you, speaking with a stern tone. “I'm putting it back outside. You know how I feel about pets, nor did you even discuss this with me first.”

Instantly jumping up from your position on the couch, nearly tripping over the blanket in the process, you rush over to Tseng. A pleading look in your eyes as you put on your best puppy dog face, as you practically whine at him, “But it already likes you so much, you can't deny the purrs Tseng. You won't even have to lift a finger in regards to ‘em, I'll take complete care of it.”

Readjusting the cat in his hand, doing his best not to look at the cat as it nuzzles against his chest, the purring still intense even as he ponders getting rid of it. “No, I've said no a thousand times before, and now you've just brought something in without any sort of consideration. Who's going to watch it when we're gone on missions?”

“I’ve already looked into pet sitters, I actually found the most neat thing called a cat motel. I even found a cat tower that matches your taste and set up a vet appointment in the morning.” Rambling on and on about all of the plans you had to ensure the cat was well taken care of. Detailing why he can't just set a defenseless kitten outside. Tseng couldn’t find anything to dispute against you besides simply having told you no in the past.

Handing the kitten back to you, still giving you a disapproving stare, “You can keep it, but keep it away from my clothes, I don't want cat hair all over the place. Keep it off of any counters and tables, and lastly, make sure it doesn't destroy the furniture.” Pausing for a moment before sighing deeply, still not pleased by the presence of your new acquaintance, “Just make sure it's trained.” he muttered before going back to his rant about making sure you fill out reports on time.

Over the next few months, you can't miss how undeniably close Tseng got to the cat. By the end of the first week, he named the cat, stating that you were taking too long to give the cat a “full sense of belonging." Naming your little floofball Racecar, dubbing it RC for short. Claiming the name was perfect for such an energetic pet as it constantly had a severe case of the zoomies.

You'd catch him constantly curled up with the cat, either by his side or on his chest. RC would even sleep right above his head most nights. Once, you found Tseng slicing salmon and hand feeding the cat, inquiring how often he did that. To your delight, he responds with a sheepish smile, telling you that he does this “often enough.” He won't allow just anyone to watch Racecar, instead often picking Reno, Rude, or Elana for the task of catsitting. He gets very defensive about the cat. You have to show him physical evidence if RC does anything wrong or else he won't believe you. Because he claims it “never did anything bad around me.”

All in all, Tseng is a certified cat dad. Acting like he doesn't like the cat at first but quickly melting into the comfort of having one around. Realizing that it isn't so bad after all.

__________________________________________

Writing this random little thing as it's my 4th year anniversary for my precious babies Aerith and Roach. To think I could hide two cats was crazy work. I'll probably come up with something for my oldest cat's 12th year anniversary. Probably something FF8 related as she's named after Rinoa.

Currently

do you ever just

Hojo and Vincent don't agree on anything (including who is actually Sephiroth's father) but they do both agree that Cloud and Sephiroth shouldn't be together. Unfortunately, their reasoning for this is also VERY different.

Hojo: Those two need to breakup.

Vincent: Agreed.

Hojo: Sephiroth can do so much better-

Vincent, at the same time: Cloud can do so much better-

(Meanwhile, off to the side where Cloud and Sephiroth are fighting to the death.)

Cloud, lowering his sword: Should we tell them we're not dating?

Sephiroth: We're not dating?! Then why are we trying to kill each other?!

Trying to get this fucker to finish Rebirth is killing me from the inside. He hasn't even made it past cosmo canyon. Finna throw my controller at his ass.