WISDOM Of The UNIVERSE

WISDOM of the UNIVERSE

to love someone is firstly to confess: i'm prepared to be devastated by you.

3:50 am // the click of a zippo.

I just keep flipping it open and closed standing to next to you across from my uncle and Erin. I’m stuck explaining how much TikTok has killed conversation with both our phones sitting on top of each other while you stand there in all gray reenacting getting your nose broken.

I’m stuck with you standing between my knees telling me it happened a while ago and that you’re tough as fuck. I still see you in those Camouflage pants doing a parameter check before you shut the lights off and come hit resume on ten inch hero.

I’m still listening to your heartbeat when patience (the cover we both shit bricks over both liking OF COURSE.) I’m still feeling you leaning over behind me.

I’m still waiting to hear you call me by my nickname. I’m still sitting on your stupid fucking couch with heart eyes acting like a dumbstruck fool every time you say you’re stupid, fat, ugly, IM instantly right on your fucking heels saying “first of all what the fuck does that Make ME?”

I never get to second of all.

I never get to sit in that passenger seat with that strong ass coffee with a shot of black barrel.

I never got to say goodbye.

I never get to say goodbye.

When I finally do get to say goodbye, I’m gonna be so fucking happy to run jump into your arms. “I’m spending threee weeks at a time. You’re just gonna wake up one day and I’m doing downward facing dog in your living room with two coffees between my legs.”

I meant that.

Wherever I lay to rest, know my heart always have infinite space for you. It always still is rotating my fingers trying to find ways to reciprocate those 4am images of you sitting at a desk somewhere, half eyes lidded, tapping my name on a shitty android.

I can’t get past this, and I mean that. It’s just one too many for that.

on a scale from Tom Collins to Dean Winchester  how madly in love are you with an Angel?