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Can you make a bullet point at bedtime? (Not sexual)

Brushing your teethtogether

Making goofy faces ateach other in the mirror

Having a little competitionabout who brushes the longest

Shawn chocking on the toothpasteand losing 

“Loser”

“Shut up”

Shawn stroking hisnose against yours while grabbing for a towel

You humming Ed Sheeranwhile removing your make up

Shawn leaning againstthe doorframe, staring at you smiling widely

“What?”

“I just love you”

Shawn watching youundress yourself

Him handing you one ofhis white t-shirts

Shawn drying yournewly washed hair

“All done” 

And then grabbingaround your head, planting a big kiss on the top of your hair

Catching each other’sgaze in the mirror and smiling

Forehead kisses

Shawn wrapping hishand around yours

Pulling you with himto bed

Lying on Shawn’s chestlistening to his heartbeat

Your fingers brushingagainst his naked chest

His nose tip strokingyou lovingly

“I love when you fallasleep in my arms”

“It’s my safe place”

Tender kisses andcaring touches

Shawn making sure theblanket covers you completely

“Are you warm enough?”

You cuddling evenfurther into his chest

His fingers runningthrough your hair

“Sometimes I wish wenever had to leave this bed”

Wrapping your legaround his thigh

Shawn’s warm fingersgliding down your back

Talking about how yourday went

And the plans fortomorrow

“I’d rather just stayhere with you”

“You have a plane tocatch tomorrow”

“Don’t remind me”

Using Shawn as yourown personal pillow

Feeling the heat fromhis body warming you up slowly

Shawn spooning you

“Are you comfortable?” 

Then planting a softkiss on your neck

“Do you know how muchI love you?”

“How much?”

“This much” 

And then Shawn wouldhug you as tight as he could

“Air, Shawn, I needair”

Holding hands, yourfingers wrapped around each other

Shawn’s finger tipsstroking your earlobe 

Feeling his heavybreath against your skin

“Go to sleep, you’retired Mendes”

“I haven’t have enoughcuddles yet”

Shawn’s nose disappearinginto your hair

You kissing hisfingers wrapped around yours

Turning around in thebed to face him

Your eyes meeting eachother

Tiny yet very lovingsmiles

Shawn’s thumb grabbingfor your chin

Slowly closing the gapbetween your lips

Shawn giving you thesweetest little kiss

Pressing your foreheadagainst his

“Goodnight princess”

“Goodnight, Shawn. Ilove you”

“I love you toobabe, always” 

Bad Temper

MASTERLIST

Requested: Jealous Shawn. Not sure I like this but I tried. 

Word count: 2,658

“I think this might actually be it!” I said, folding the last box together. I ran my fingers through my hair, breathing out heavily. 

I thought it would never end. No matter where I looked, there had always been more boxes to start on. But now, I’d actually unpacked the last one.

“What?” Shawn yelled from the other room, fumbling with his precious guitars as always. 

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Monsters

Requested: Please do some daddy Shawn.

A/N: I don’t know why I try writing fluffy things, because they’re awful most times. I also changed the lyrics of LOFP a little, sorry.

Word count: 2,066

A faint noise rang in my ears, but not nearly loud enough to pulled me out of my heavy sleep. Only seconds later, I felt the faint squeezes on my arms. When I finally managed to open them, the room was too dark for me to see anything properly.

I rubbed my sleepy eyes, feeling just how sore they were. I blinked a few times, before finally being able to see shadows in the dark bedroom.

“Daddy, daddy” she cried again, forcing down my gaze.

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Sound of your Heart

Could I please request a Shawn Mendes imagine with a deaf or hard-of-hearing reader? Maybe he could have her feel his guitar while he strums or something? Or his chest as he sings?

So this went from being a little blurb to being a oneshot to being a potential short fic. Wow, this has me feeling some sort of way because it’s a very personal character.

The first time you meet Shawn is at a meet and greet. During the Q&A you stand very close to the small stage he is sitting on and you can’t help but smile while he talks. See, while you had prime seating, you couldn’t look at him for very long. Your best friend, and interpreter was stood just in front of you, signing each question that the other girls in the crowd asked. She would also sign everything Shawn said in case you missed it.

You were born with a birth defect in both ears, resulting in a severe loss of hearing over the course of your youth. By the time you were twelve years old, you had just about completely lost hearing in your right ear and you can hear well enough out of the left, but you have troubles with lower tones. When you’re in a crowd or around several people talking at once, it’s hard to focus and really decipher what people are trying to say to you. From a young age you learned to sign and your best friend, Mamie, learned as well.

Shawn points at a girl near you and his gaze lingers on you while you focus on Mamie signing the question to you. You notice Shawn’s eyes on you when you glance away for just a second, and you miss the rest of the question, but you don’t care. Shawn was staring at you with a look of pure curiosity, intrigue, rapt attention. He misses the question too. The girl repeats it but you never bother to look at Mamie for a re-interpretation.

Keep reading

Not to be dramatic or anything but this is the cutest thing ive ever seen

(Creds to @dolan_woahh on twitter)

I see that meme @crankgameplays

(The old Ethan can’t come to the phone right now)

Love those puffy lips 🤗

Going to High School with Ethan and Grayson would include

A/N (This is more like dating them in highschool but whatever lol)

Ethan

✰ Ethan being the “Savage Student” with a dash of “Best Friend”

✰ I feel like he’d occasionally prank the teacher just for shits and giggles

✰ Him always being late to classes due to football practices

✰Him tripping his way into classes

✰Racing each other during track

✰1 on 1 basketball tournaments between the both of you during gym

✰ Sharing his headphones with you on the bus

✰ Accidentally giving you the wrong earbud

✰ Always sitting next to each other at lunch

✰ Which also seems to always cause mini food fights between the both of you

✰ Always talking to each other during class

✰ Which returns in the both of you most likely getting separated daily

✰ Yelling each others names throughout the hallway

✰Sneaking out of classes to watch netflix behind the bleachers

✰Watching him and Grayson during football practice

✰ Always taking the bus together, or carpooling together

✰Also bopping on the ride to school

✰ Him defending you, from any type of bully

✰ But also teasing you relentlessly throughout the school day

✰ Almost causing an explosion in chemistry

✰ Teachers absolutely hating the both of you, when your forces combined

✰ Always being hyper around each other

✰  Drawing messy sketches of each other during art class

✰  Doing homework together and procrastinating the entire time

✰ But somehow always getting a good grade on your projects together

✰ Holding his hand while you pranced throughout the hallway

✰ Napping in class 

✰ Him always attempting to tutor you if you were struggling in classes

✰ But always somehow, forgetting it was a tutoring session and just makeout with each other the entire time

✰ Sneaking into the library to listen to music together

✰ Just completely enjoying yourselves, as long as you had each other it was all fun and games.

Grayson

✰ I feel like he’d be a fair mix between the “Class Clown” and “Day Dreamer” student

✰ Him giving you piggyback rides during gym

✰ Him getting yelled at for giving you a piggyback

✰ Writing cheesy songs for each other during music

✰ Him trying to seduce you with his “mad” cooking skills in culinary

✰ You, always helping him with English if he needed it

✰ Always teasing Ethan whenever you passed him in the hallways

✰ Ethan always whistling at the both of you as you walked the halls

✰ He’d walk you to every class you had, even if it wasn’t his class

✰ Always sitting in between his legs, while you were on the field

✰ Him constantly giving you cheesy pick up lines to cheer you up in the morning 

✰Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out.

✰  Leaving little notes in your locker

✰ Every class you’d have together he would just stare at you

✰  And when you were away, he’d spend his classes thinking about what the both of you would do after school

✰ He’d always play with your hair, if you were leaning on his shoulder

✰ Always cheering him on during football games/ practices

✰ Always being lab partners

✰ Trying to beat each other during competitive activities like volleyball, dodgeball. basically any ball sport you’d attempt to destroy him

✰ Him serenading you with his piano skills during music class

✰ Making every student surrounding the both of you cringe, with your adorableness 

✰ He’d always give you his extra cookie, or juice at lunch

✰And let you cut him in the lunch line

✰ Always doing homework together

✰ Him going to any sport, or band meets you had

✰ Doing drama together, and ending up as the leads

✰ Matching outfits

✰ Wearing his jacket all of the time

✰Him tying your shoes for you if he saw they were untied

✰ Actually being the cutest couple to walk the halls

Go follow my Instagram @the.dolanbabes and @dazzles7

Cred to @german.dolans on Instagram for the video

black and white

creds to @70s_harold on instagram

Coming into a fandom late

AlrightHey talking about the twins at the VMAs.

Appreciation post for the boys in fall/winter type clothing. THEY LOOK THE BEST LIKE THIS, DONT @ ME.

@graysondolan: Love you guys

Me personally I feel like they had the Twins standing behind Liza, because they were suppose to be getting that award. But at the very end, they fucking switched the winners & announced Logan for Choice Comedy WebStar instead. That’s why the Twins looked so confused & Logan’s ass was sitting there like an idiot in his little spinning chair & didn’t even react when his name was announced. That shit is sus. & idc if you don’t agree. That’s my opinion.

Brief summary of the Dolan Twins in 26 seconds

Made a little Sam post it note animation the other day!

@therealjacksepticeye

Hi babies, worked on some things for y'all while I was gone! I saw an Ethan version of this video and decided to make a Grayson version since he’s my baby… wait… I mean… I’m laneless🙃 The first of many, enjoy!

a list of what Gray and E owe us

1. not a mother fucking thing my guy

okay i know that ethan’s wisdom teeth video is crazy hilarious bc he goes wild but is everyone forgetting how fucking adorable grayson was in his, like he literally spent a whole minute talking about getting pizza and flowers for a girl what the fuck

A Look! 😍

From the Dining Table, Pt. 4 (Ethan)

Summary: After finding out about your second wedding, due to happen tomorrow, Ethan makes one final attempt to convince you that you belong with him.

Word Count: 4, 772

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: Part four is finally here! I’m so excited to be posting this piece as my official return from my hiatus because I know how many of you have been asking and patiently waiting for it. I’ve enjoyed writing this mini series for y’all so much; I’m so grateful that it has made so many of you experience so many emotions and I’m praying that y’all will be satisfied with the ending. This final part is written in the reader’s point of view again, and there are two songs that have so heavily influenced the way I chose to end this series that they will be linked for you before their respective portions of this piece. Much love and happy reading!

Part 1/ Part 2/ Part 3

“Moon” by Sleeping At Last

“E, what the hell are we doing here right now?”

The light from the full moon shone down and illuminated the high planes of Ethan’s face, making his forehead, cheekbones, and chin sparkle. His eyes and lips, however, were shrouded in darkness by his browbones and nose, and you had a hard time making out the mischievous gleam in his irises. It was well past midnight and to surprise you for your seventeenth birthday, Ethan had flown the both of you home to New Jersey for the week to visit your family and childhood friends. The two of you had been in an official relationship for just under two years and staying true to the vow you made to him to follow him anywhere, you relocated to the west coast shortly after his online career exploded. While you were elated to support the love of your life in his quest to pursue his dreams, the move was tougher on you than you had anticipated. Homesickness rocked you to your core and you would spend nights crying out to your mother and friends in your slumber, only to have Ethan wake you from your nightmares and lull you back to sleep; naturally, finding out that you’d get to come home for a while threw you into a state of euphoria. Now, as you stood in front of the brick house with Ethan’s hand in yours, only two hours and thirteen minutes into your day of birth, confusion and nervousness consumed your body. What could he have possibly been planning that required the use of the house you long gave up on owning since moving away?

“Oh, come on, Y/N. You can’t tell me you’re not somewhat excited to be back here.”

A thin layer of sweat began to form on the palms of your hands, and you shifted your weight in between your feet hoping Ethan wouldn’t notice.

“I’m not sure if ‘excited’ is the right word. ‘Terrified’ and ‘nostalgic as hell’ might be more fitting.”

“That’s four words, not one.”

You threw your head in Ethan’s direction and knitted your eyebrows together. “You know what I mean.”

Ethan chuckled and began toward the door with you following suit. Once on the porch, you took note that it was missing its usual padlock that normally sat laced around the doorknob. You gave Ethan a sideways glance, a smirk crawling across his face.

“I called in a couple of favors to make sure this was absolutely perfect,” he responded, reading the question in your mind before you could verbalize it.

“Is this even legal?”

“Babe, it’s your birthday. Don’t stress out so much. I took care of everything, okay?” Ethan opened the front door for you with ease and you stepped into the dimly lit foyer, Ethan entering second and closing the door behind the both of you

“So… I’m taking that as a no, then.”

Ethan chuckled again as you inhaled the scent of the musty home and let your eyes adjust to your surroundings. The house was completely void of any furniture and the empty space caused both of your voices to echo off of the walls; old paint was peeling off of the baseboards and air bubbles crept under the aging wallpaper. Despite the apparent neglect of the house, however, you observed that the withering floors looked freshly mopped, the window sills were free of any settling dust, and small votive candles were lit and lined the winding staircase leading up into the hallway, illuminating the otherwise pitch-black space.

“E,” you breathed, a sense of intimacy filling the atmosphere. “When did you do all of this?”

“I may have slithered out from underneath you once or twice while you were sleeping these past couple of days,” Ethan whispered, using his free thumb to reach out and trace your jawline. “I also may have enlisted the help of my sister to work the details of this whole thing out. I had an idea of what I wanted to do for you, but she helped make this a reality. You can thank her later.”

“I’ll thank her when I know exactly what ‘this’ is… ‘This’ isn’t just standing here all night talking, is it?”

Ethan smirked, tightening his grip on your own and starting toward the staircase. “I don’t think that would be much of a birthday present, would it?”

You glanced down at your feet as you climbed the stairs behind Ethan, taking extra care not to kick the candles over as the both of you made your way up to the second floor of the home and down the hall. Once you reached the aging double doors marking the entrance of the master bedroom, Ethan stopped in his tracks to turn and face you. He glanced down to meet your stare and pulled you flush against him, his hands gently gripping the curvature of your waistline. You could feel his slow and even breath on your forehead as you melted into his touch, placing your own hands on either side of his face before standing up on your toes and pecking his nose with your lips. Ethan returned the favor by kissing your forehead, you closing your eyes in response and moving with his body as he gently began to sway the both of you back and forth. Inhaling his signature scent, you let yourself get lost in the feeling of Ethan’s lips on your skin as he moved them from your forehead to your eyelids, nose, cheeks, and jawline. You reached up to lace your fingers in his short hair (a style you were still getting used to after his curly locks were chopped into an oblivion by his twin brother) as the tip of Ethan’s tongue began to barely graze the tender surface of your neck, causing your knees to weaken and your breath to quicken. His grip on your waist tightened as he noticed that you were relying more on his sturdy frame to hold you up by the second, and just before he reached your collar bone, he pulled away from you entirely to find your eyes again. Disappointed at the sudden absence of his touch, you forced your eyelids open to see his face mere centimeters from yours, and he broke out into a cheeky grin before leaning down to whisper in your ear:

“Happy birthday, my love.”

With that sentiment, he turned around and flung the double doors open, revealing a sight so overwhelmingly beautiful that your eyes began to sting with tears the moment Ethan stepped aside so you could take it all in. Rose petals were scattered over the entire floor of the master bedroom and so were more candles, filling the room with soft yellow light that danced furiously on the bare walls and high ceiling. The bay window on the far side of the room, which normally was uncovered and bare allowing anyone to peek into the house anytime they wished, was concealed with a makeshift curtain made out of two dark sheets pinned to the wall, giving you and Ethan complete and total privacy. Catty-cornered to the bay window was a California king sized mattress that had to of been drug across town and up the stairs by Ethan and his siblings. It was littered with countless throw blankets and body pillows and sat contently next to a picnic basket filled to the brim with sweet treats and bottles of non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice. The entire setting was absolutely picturesque, and as you glanced at Ethan with an open mouth and tears running down your cheeks, he swept you off your feet, closed the doors behind the two of you, and set you down on the bed with a grace that was all his own.

“I’m in shock, E… I don’t… I don’t even know what to say to this.”

You kicked your Vans off as Ethan rid himself of his jacket before settling down next to you. Reaching into the basket on his left, Ethan rustled around until he pulled two marshmallows out and handed one to you, scarfing his own down in two bites as you nibbled on yours.

“That’s okay, babe. We have all night to eat, drink, talk or not talk, sleep… or not sleep…”

You almost choked on the last bite of your marshmallow as you shot Ethan a look, clearly caught off guard by his remark. Blood rushed to his cheeks and even in the deceiving shadows that were cast by the flickering of the flames, you could tell he immediately regretted his comment, the embarrassment evident in his eyes.

“You know what?” he spat out, seemingly desperate to take back his words. “Never mind that I said anything at all. This is your birthday, this is your night. We have the next twenty-two hours to spend here if you wanted and I’m not going to fuck that up before it even begins. Nope, not going to happen.”

You giggled and took both of Ethan’s hands in yours in an attempt to calm him down. The remark may have come out of left field, sure, but it didn’t bother you in the slightest. Dating Ethan meant that you had to be flexible and take things as they came, vulgar comments and all. You learned to let the majority of them roll off of your back, knowing he mostly made them out of the sheer attempt to get people laughing, but there were times, like tonight, where you wished he would actually follow through. You always craved Ethan in a way you were never able to fully comprehend, and while lots of your nights with him were spent kissing and exploring each other’s’ bodies fully clothed, there always seemed to be this invisible boundary laid out between the two of you that Ethan never wanted to cross. His chivalry and respect for you was unparalleled, something you never took for granted for as long as you knew him, but tonight felt… different. As you forced Ethan’s shy gaze to meet yours, a shift in the atmosphere occurred and you were suddenly desperate and determined to have him in the most intimate of ways. This was the night you would finally give yourself to him completely, you decided, to be able to call him yours in every way possible.

Staring into his chocolate irises, you took his hands and guided them under your shirt. You laid his palms down on your stomach and gasped at the way his touch simultaneously brought fire to your skin yet sent goosebumps up and down your body. Ethan recoiled quickly, pulling his hands out from under the fabric like a child who burned themselves on hot stove, but you protested and placed them back on your abdomen, holding them down and allowing him to feel the rise and fall of your quickening breath.

“I… I don’t…” Ethan stuttered, but you silenced him with a tender kiss, taking his wrists and moving them painstakingly slowly up your torso. Ethan didn’t move his hands anywhere you didn’t place them, and you stopped them right below your chest before tugging at the fabric of his shirt to pull him on top of you. He obliged hesitantly, his lips still connected to yours, and as he was careful not to lay all of his weight on you, you pulled away and delicately ran your fingers through his blonde tuff of hair. Ethan pulled his hands out from under your shirt to grab its hem, pausing to raise his eyebrows in question. You nodded, giving him permission, and raised your arms above your head as Ethan removed it for you, discarding it beside the bed and leaning back down to shower you with affection. His wet lips came in contact with your collar bone, leaving soft, meticulous kisses on the protruding skin and instinctively forced you to close your eyes and arch your back in pleasure. You reached behind you to unlatch your bra, but before you could shed it from your body, Ethan gently grabbed your wrists to stop you.

“Y/N, don’t think you have to do this for me. I just made a stupid comment, I—I wasn’t trying to imply anything and I don’t want you doing something you’re not ready for—“

You cut Ethan off by shaking yourself from his grasp and removing your bra. As it silently fell to the floor beside you, Ethan let out a shocked, shaky breath and you grabbed him by the back of his neck, hungrily pulling him to you. Your lips collided and performed a perfectly choreographed dance, the taste of him sending you into a state of euphoria. Ethan pulled away momentarily to shed his shirt from his body before kissing you again, and the feeling of his warm, bare skin against yours sent an involuntary growl up your throat. Ethan smiled into the kiss, giggling at the noise you made before pulling away to catch his breath. He placed himself on his elbows on either side of your head and let his eyes roam up and down your half-exposed body, completely in awe of your form. Never before did he think you could become more beautiful than you already were, but as he hovered over you in anticipation of the event to come, you somehow began to shine in his vision.

“Are you absolutely sure you want to do this?” Ethan inquired again, his voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m as sure about this as I’ve been about marrying you, E,” you respond, running your fingertips up and down his biceps.

“God, I can’t wait until the day I get to call you my wife.”

You broke out into a child-like grin, pulling Ethan down to you again for another peck on the lips. “’Mrs. Y/N Dolan.’ It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”

“It really does,” Ethan smiled back at you.

“Now shut up and kiss me, already.”

“North” by Sleeping At Last

Being in the master bedroom with Ethan now, the atmosphere is anything but intimate. You can barely look him in the eye and you try to maintain as much distance from him as possible; attempting to make yourself comfortable on the bed, you crawl to the middle of the mattress and cross your legs underneath you while Ethan lingers up against the opposite wall, glancing out of the bay window at the quiet street below. You watch the rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes and observe how the skin at his knuckles wrinkle as he forcefully shoves his hands in his jean pockets. His face is flushed and his lips are dry from getting sick just hours earlier, and even though you sent him to the guest bedroom to rest as you cleaned up (with Stella insisting to help), you doubt he slept much, if at all. The news of your upcoming wedding has thrown him into a state of shock unlike anything you’ve seen before, and while a younger version of yourself would have jumped at the chance to nurture and care for him, you now can’t help but find the timing of his dramatic return to be incredibly uncanny. Watching the boy you loved since before you ever understood what love was, who abandoned you without a trace in his quest for fame and stardom, reenter your life after eight years of silence and pout like a child about you choosing to finally move on, causes a burning sensation to rise in your chest and make its way through your body. The anger flows through your veins and fills your head with profanities you wish you could yell at Ethan, with unspeakable things you wish you could do to him for causing you to hurt for so long, but you pull your gaze from him and begin to pick at the skin on your nail beds instead. A deep sigh is elicited from Ethan and you hear him rustle before clearing his throat to speak:

“I just… I need you to tell me how you’re feeling right now, Y/N. Please. Give me something.”

You press your lips into a hard line, the anger forcing salty tears out of your tear ducts and onto your cheeks. Your gaze stays locked on your own hands, but you don’t need to look up to feel Ethan’s stare boring into your body.

God, that stare, his stare you’ve missed for so long…

No, no. He hurt you. You’re not going to let him have you again after everything he’s done.

“Is the letter still in your pocket?” you manage to force out.

“Yes.”

“Then you already know how I’m feeling.”

Ethan remains frozen in his place, silent.

“I can’t believe you have the audacity to come into my home unannounced after eight years, the night before my wedding, I may add, and ask me how I’m feeling,” you continue, your voice beginning to harden as the anger in your body turns to rage. “You’ve done a lot of fucked up things to me, Ethan, but this is, by far, the most unthinkable.”

“That’s not fair, Y/N. How was I supposed to know you were getting married?”

This time, it’s your turn to remain silent.

“Do you know why I asked you to talk up here after you put Stella down for a nap? We could have spoken anywhere; do you know why I chose this room?”

“To torture me even more than you already have?” you mumble under your breath.

“So, you do remember that night?”

You glance up at Ethan, completely stunned at his question. What in his right mind would make him think you’d forget about one of the best nights of your life?

Oh, right. He’s not in his right mind.

“I couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to, Ethan.” You take the cuff of your long-sleeved shirt and use it to wipe away the tears on your cheeks as Ethan pushes himself off of the wall to turn and face you. Suddenly feeling incredibly exposed, you pull your legs to your chest and wrap your arms around them, resting your chin on your knees and closing your eyes.

“Then please, please keep that night and the love we had for each other in your mind as I try to explain myself. I just want a chance to explain, Y/N.”

More tears wiggle their way out from under your eyelashes as your breath becomes ragged and uneasy. “It’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?”

“Maybe it is,” he responds, desperation rising in his voice. “But you also could have shut the door in my face, and you didn’t. You let me in.”

Ethan pauses and you open your eyes to look at him. The setting sun beams into the window behind him and casts an ethereal glow around his figure. His eyes look pained, frightened, and his body is tense and afraid. You suck in a quick breath at the sight of him; even after all of these years, in the strained state the both of you are in, he’s still the most beautiful creature you’ve ever seen.

“Please, Y/N. Please let me in again. Give me a chance to try and explain myself and prove to you why it should be me you spend the rest of your life with, not him.”

Your eyes narrow into slits as you watch Ethan cautiously approach your bedside. He places himself down on the edge of the mattress causing it to dip underneath you, and as he laces his hands in his lap, your vision begins to blur. You want to run away, hide from the years of pain suddenly resurfacing all at once, scream, be anywhere but here, but your body protests, keeping you in your spot on the bed near Ethan.

“I… I know this explanation isn’t going to be enough. It’s not a long sob story, it’s not one that will make you feel sorry for me, and it’s not one I’m proud to tell. At the root of this story, though, is pride. My pride was what ultimately took you from me. I don’t think either of us could have anticipated the life I was going to lead. You never asked for any of the things that came with dating me: moving, having to make new friends on the other side of the country, going to a new school, the constant jet set and being mobbed by people every time we would go out in public, often not seeing each other for weeks at a time… But you took it all and handled it with grace, grit, and style. You never once complained and no matter how often I asked you if you wanted me to slow down, pull back, or stop for the sake of us, you said no. You knew how much I loved what I was doing and that unwavering support… I guess I just got too used to it. I watched you deal with all of that and finish high school, graduate college a year early, find us a house so we could move out of the cramped apartment we shared with Grayson and Cameron, and juggle both of our schedules that I thought you were untouchable.

“And believe it or not, I fell even more in love with you during that time. Our young love was innocent, naïve, and fun, but it was leaving Jersey and navigating the beginning of adulthood with you that made me realize how deeply rooted my love and admiration were for you. You were everything I could have ever asked for and more. You were perfectly imperfect. You were mine. I never felt luckier in my entire life than I did then.”

“Then why did you leave me?” you ask, cocking your head to the side as Ethan gradually makes his way across the bed and closer to you.

“I began to feel inadequate,” he breathes as his hands begin to shake. “No matter how many movie roles I landed, no matter how much money I made, no matter how many people wanted something from me, I’d always look over at you… And I’d never feel like I was enough.

“So, I began to push you away. I stopped answering your phone calls because I couldn’t face you anymore. I deleted your texts before I even read them. I spent weeks away from you because I didn’t want you to see how consumed I became with doubt and self-loathing. I used other girls and drugs and anything else you can think of to try and fill the hole in my chest that began to form without you. I guess I lost track of time… weeks turned into months which turned into years, but I never forgot about you. You were the last person I thought of before falling asleep and the first person I wanted to see before even opening my eyes in the morning. I was consumed by the thought of you. I just became too prideful to reach out to you because I could only fathom how much agony I caused you, and I didn’t want to take responsibility for that.”

“I thought I was never going to see you again.” Your voice was small and ragged as you sat motionless, trying to process Ethan’s words.

“But you want to know what did it in for me? Why I came back?”

You raised your eyebrows in response to his question.

“Someone was blaring Stella out of their trailer on set and I broke down. I knew I couldn’t go another moment without seeing you so I stormed off without a word, found the note you left me, booked the next flight to Jersey… and, well, here we are.”

By now, Ethan’s body was so close to yours that you could feel the electricity sparking between your bodies. You felt like someone had punched you in the gut and you were winded and bruised, but your thoughts were racing at a million miles an hour.

He never stopped loving you. It’s been eight years but he never stopped loving you.

“I never stopped loving you either, E,” you croak. “I moved home because everything in L.A. reminded me of you and I was tired of hurting so much, but I never stopped loving you. I married Damien because I thought you were never coming back. We ran into each other at the grocery story after I moved, he helped me work through some of my grief, and treated me with dignity. He became one of my best friends. I was excited when he proposed; it felt like I was finally getting over you, but the farther into our relationship we got, I realized that I was just treating him as a surrogate for everything I wanted with you. I bought the brick house, he helped me fix it up the way I always dreamed, we got pregnant, found out it was a girl, and I named her Stella without any protest from him. I did all of these things because it was the only way to keep you close to me after you were long gone.

“And honestly, I think I did love Damien in a way, but I was never in love with him the way I am with you. But, holy shit, when I got the news that he died… I became broken all over again because suddenly it felt like I lost you again, E. While his casket was literally being lowered into the dirt, I swore off love for good. I promised myself I was never going to marry anyone ever again.”

“So, what changed?”

You shrug indifferently. “Stella is growing up. She needs a dad, someone to take care of her. Matt is very paternal. He can be that for her.”

“But you don’t love him?”

“No, not one bit,” you state matter-of-factly.

“You’re only doing this for her?”

“Yes.”

Ethan exhales slowly and licks his lips before speaking again. “What… what if I took care of her? What if I had all of my things shipped here and, with your permission of course, we started our life in this brick house like you always wanted? What if I promised to never leave you again and love you more fiercely than I ever have before, to support you endlessly and give you everything you could have ever wanted? Would you call off the wedding?”

You don’t even have to think about your answer. “Yes. I would in a heartbeat.”

“Then that’s what I promise you. That’s my most absolute, unbreakable promise to you, and I will spend the rest of my life working to keep that promise.”

You reach out to take his hand in yours and gasp at his touch, something you’ve been without and missed tremendously, something you thought you’d never get to experience again.  

“Okay,” you whisper, placing your head on his shoulder. “I won’t marry Matt tomorrow.”

“Really?”

“Yes, because you promised.”

“And I’m going to keep that promise.”

“I know, and I believe you.”

“Okay, good.”

The hum of the air conditioning fills the air as time lull on, both of you sitting silently while truly coming to the realization that you had found your way back to each other.

“Are you scared?” Ethan asks after minutes of silence.

“More than you know.”

“Me too, sweetheart. Me too.”

“I love you, E. I always have and I always will, until I take my final breath.”

“I know. I love you too, Y/N, and I always will, even after I take my final breath.”

More silence.

“’Ethan Dolan, my forever after.’ It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?” you eventually mutter.

Ethan places a soft kiss to your forehead as his thumb begins to move back and forth across your hand.

“It really does.”

And Ethan kept his promise. 

You watched as he slowly gained the trust, and then love, of Stella, her soon throwing out the name “Mr. Ethan” and replacing it with “Dad.” You watched him put her on the bus the morning of her first day of Kindergarten, tears welling in his eyes as he commented on how she was growing too fast, him wanting her to stay young forever. You watched as he filed away his money a bit at a time for her for her education, never once complaining about his dwindling bank account since moving back to New Jersey and quitting his acting career. You watched as he worked diligently over the years to maintain the dignity of the brick house that you and Damien worked so hard to restore, taking extra care to cover the walls with paint and polish the wood floors with oil when needed. You watched as he grew softer and more kind when interacting with his own siblings (he told them it was your love that was the cause) and you watched as he cared for his continuously aging parents with a new found affection he never had for them before. You watched as he traced every wrinkle and sun spot you acquired over the years with nothing but love, still shuddering at his touch just the same as you did when you gave yourself to him for the first time in the master bedroom at seventeen years old. You watched as he spent the rest of his life proving to you and Stella that he was here to love you without condition and support you without complaint.

And every night that you settled in bed, even when you reached old age and it became increasingly difficult to raise and lower yourself to the mattress each day, you thanked God that he brought Ethan back you. 

You thanked God that Ethan kept his promise.

Behold....

The father

The Son

And The Holy Spirit

The Holy Trinity of

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