Funky-patterned-button-ups - :)

funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

i must not get takeout. takeout is the wallet-killer. takeout is the little-death that brings total obliteration. i will face the kitchen, fridge, and pantry. i will make choices about what to cook and then execute them. when hunger is gone there will be nothing. only i will remain.

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

me, a sensible boy, feeling a tickle: just your leg hair, calm down

caveman brain: it is so many spiders

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so many spiders

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2 years ago

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado:

13.

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.”

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.”

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews.

In: 3 x 2

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.”

12.

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy.

11.

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.”

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 1 x 1

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons.

10.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.”

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face.

9.

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.”

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey.

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant.

8.

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it.

7.

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.”

Spoken by: Jughead Jones.

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’

6.

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.”

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna.

5.

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.”

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16.

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration.

4.

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.”

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5.

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent.

3.

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.”

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge.

In: 6 x 22.

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil.

2.

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.”

Spoken by: Kevin Keller.

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical.

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge.

In: 2 x 20.

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale.

Tags :

this is a little late but I found it hilarious riverdale

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

Fun little math trick I find really helpful: the ratio of a mile to a kilometer is within 1% of the Golden Ratio. That means that if you have a good memory for Fibonacci numbers (1 2 3 5 8 13 21 34 55 89) you can convert pretty accurately by taking consecutive Fibonacci numbers.

For example, 89 kilometers is really close to 55 miles (55.3). Or, say you need to convert 26 miles to kilometers: 26 can be written as 21 plus 5, so taking the next Fibonacci number up gives 34 and 8, meaning it should be around 42 kilometers. Sure enough, it's 41.8 km!

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

S08E19 - GRADE SCHOOL CONFIDENTIAL

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

Neither femme nor masc but a third more wicked thing....... Boring

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

I feel ya.

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

rating actual medieval names i have found as a medieval studies student but they get progressively more unhinged:

William de Appeltrefeld: 8/10 bc appeltrefeld sounds like a nice place to live. who wouldnt want to live in a field full of apple trees? points deducted cause there are like fifty bajillion williams in england

Luke de Luka, merchant of Luca: 6/10. ur parents really werent creative huh

Hugh de Wlonkeslowe: 7/10. looks like a straight person trying to keyboard smash. *laughs in english place names*

Roger Smert: 10/10 absolute banger of a name. does it make any sense? absolutely not! but you guys. i dont think you understand. smert!!

John de la Bro: 7/10. when ur such a bro that its literally ur name and 800 years in the future its all people know of u

Hugh Sad: 7/10. weve all been there buddy

Gaylarde de la Mote: 10/10. slay. i bet this guys mote was the gayest mote youve ever seen

Hugh de la Penne: 9/10. we stan a pasta man

Bindo Hug: 8/10. who is this man a hobbit???

Eudo la Zusche: 6/10. deadass sounds like something youd see in a really bad fantasy novel

William crisp: 7/10. w h a t.

Asser son of Licoriz: 7/10 there is so much going on here i dont even know what to tell you

Baldwin Panik: 10/10 cause this is a heckin mood

Richard Cok, aka Dick Cok: 69/10. nice.

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

Source

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

when your crush sneaks up on you and you have 0.001 seconds to find your chill

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2 years ago

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2 years ago

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funny cause this was literally me

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2 years ago

getting dressed trying to ignore the media brainwashed insecure mean 13 yo girl inside my head

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

My tiny mind blown

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

18th century tumblr user

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

Wiggle

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

being gay was the best choice i ever didnt make

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

inside of you are two wolves. one wants someone to sit down and listen to your entire life story. the other wants to know everything about other people without them knowing anything about you. you are me

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

Real talk why does social interaction feel like you’re trying to get a good grade in being a person

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

i have two sides: clown (intentional) and clown (unintentional)

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funky-patterned-button-ups

2 years ago

i truly believe that a lot of what gets labeled as “yearning” on here is actually deep & profound & excruciating loneliness & i really think we would have more productive discussions about it if we could just call a spade a spade

like loneliness is an incredibly serious mood state that has major implications for your physical & mental health & the pain it causes is far more intense than simple “yearning.” a deep, agonizing longing for human connection is actually a really really big deal

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2 years ago

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2 years ago

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