Dom Red Flags: A Checklist For Less Experienced Submissives

Dom red flags: a checklist for less experienced submissives

This is written mostly for inexperienced subs who are seeking doms. I would also recomend less experienced doms read as well, I could have used a lot of this advice when I first got started. If you have a lot of S&M experience, you probably won't get much from this post. Feel free to add to it if you reblog. Full checklist under the cut.

Aftercare - Always mandatory. While it will look different from different people aftercare is still an essential part of a dynamic. If a dom has a problem with aftercare, either your version of it or the concept in general 🚩🚩🚩

Safe words - Always mandatory. Safe words are essential for both doms and subs. It’s valid to use them at any time for any reason. I suggest two safewords for every dynamic. A pause word and a stop word. Yellow and Red are pretty standard in many BDSM circles and they’re fantastic for explaining the concept of each. Yellow or Pause meaning take a breath, check in, and communicate. Red or Stop meaning immediately end the scene and provide aftercare. If the sub is gagged or otherwise speech impaired, a particular noise they can annunciate like “Nuh uh," snapping your fingers, or holding onto a loud object they can drop to create a distinct noise are fantastic alternatives. No one should ever be made to feel guilty for using a safeword. If a dom has a problem with safe words, punishes their sub for using it, or doesn’t immidiately stop when the safeword is used 🚩🚩🚩

Check-ins - Recommended. In any dynamic, the dom has a responsibility to make sure their sub is comfortable with the scene as it’s being carried out. Sometimes things can get intense, and if the sub is in subspace, they may not always be able to catch when something starts to overwhelm them. To avoid negative outcomes, I suggest regular check-ins. They can be as simple as “would you like another slap, baby?” or “how does that feel?" or as in-depth as a full pause of the scene. I recomend simple check ins for short scenes (under 10 minutes) and longer water breaks and full pauses during longer scenes. Check-ins are especially important for inexperienced subs and anyone exploring a new type of play. If you think check-ins sound like a good idea, then ask for them! And if your dom refuses 🚩🚩🚩

Boundaries - Always Mandatory. You and your dom both have a responsibility to communicate your boundaries with each other. You also have the responsibility not to cross each other’s boundaries intentionally. Ever. If a dom doesn’t listen to your boundaries, repeatedly crosses them, pushes you to do things you explicitly aren't okay with, or refuses to admit that you don’t like something 🚩🚩🚩

Adapting/Taking critism - Very important. No dynamic will be perfect from the start. Expectations and desires change over time, and even the deepest of connections will evolve. This means that consistant communication and feedback during the dynamic is essential. Bdsm is not about a dom molding a sub into whatever they want. It's about exploring mutually held desires. Both a dom and a sub need to be able to tweak their approaches to each other with time, listen to critisms from each other, and continously adapt as your perceptions of the dynamic change over time. If you have a 24/7 dynamic, I would recomend a regularly scheduled pause every day to talk about the dynamic, voice any critisms, and adjust accordingly. If a dom doesn't want to adjust their approach for you, or shift things in your dynamic based on what you want and like🚩🚩🚩

Punishments - the dynamics conceptualization of punishments should always be pre-negotiated. What is the purpose of punishments? Are they meant to be fun for both parties? Does the sub even want to be punished? Does the dom want to preform punishments? What activities are both parties okay with? If a dom refuses to take all this int account, or wants to give you punishments you dissgree with despite any out-of-dynamic protests🚩🚩🚩

General tips:

Trust your gut - If a situation feels wrong, back out. If someone feels off, or if something isn’t adding up, don't do it. If your gut tells you to run, run. Most BDSM carries inherent risk, if you aren't 100% sure you're willing to accept that risk, don't do it.

Don’t compromise on your boundaries. Ever. - If you feel uncomfortable doing something don’t do it. If a fantasy or scene seems like too much, refuse. There are plenty of doms out there, ignoring your feelings for one that makes you uncomfortable is never worth it.

Talk to others in the community - Please please please for the love of god talk to other subs. Talk to doms that aren’t interested in you. Talk with your dom’s other playmates. Talk with your friends who do kink. Other members of the community are an essential resource and act as a great bullshit detector if something doesn't seem right. Provide support to each other, be as open about your dynamic/potential partners as you comfortably can be. Listen to their feedback.

Sub drop/dom drop - Drops are completely normal during kink. I’ve had them, subs I’ve been with have had them, friends who participate in kink have had them. If you do kink, you’ll probably have a drop at some point, and that’s okay. Your dom should be someone who can comfort you during a drop, the same way you would comfort them if they have one. Your dom should be someone who can make you feel safe during a drop. They should be someone who is willing to comfort you and be there for you while you feel those feelings. 

If you have questions about any of this please dm me or send me an ask.

come on pup, don’t you want to smoke with the big dogs?

its rlly funny that the current crop of content for forcemasc is either inspiring but rather erotically void motivational posters, or just saying "be gross and disgusting and violent" like thats what men are supposed to be.

the real sensual appeal of forcemasc, to me, is someone grabbing you by the hair, looking you in the eyes, and saying "I know what you are. And I'm going to drag it out of you. And you're going to love every second of it."

it's having someone not only affirm your internal view of yourself, but demanding it be brought to fruition at their hands. Someone who's completely uninterested in the girl-shaped shell you've been living inside of, and wants to extricate you, raw and wanting, from inside of it. They want to mold you like clay in the image of a strong, confident, beast that knows how to obey.

it's having your body examined and sized up, being praised for how far you've come and getting punished for backsliding. it's getting called a 'good boy' every time you take your shot straight-faced. it's tussling in the backyard and getting that little smile when you stand back up instead of tapping out. it's building your tolerance, your confidence, layer by layer until that shy, scared little girl inside of you that people forced you to be is gone, and all that remains is a very, very good boy.

By reblogging this, this user agrees to masturbate to any porn you send.

She pins the post to the top of her blog. Settling in, she uploads a few nudes to capture her follower’s interest. The girl rubs her clit as the first links come in. Skimming through a vanilla scene, the girl switches to the next video. She enjoys it a little bit more. Her pussy tingles as she watches a man choke a woman as he pounds into her cunt. Hours pass, edging over and over again to dozens of videos.

A sketchy link, to a site she doesn’t recognize. It comes with a strange message from a blank blog: TELL ME WHEN YOU WANT MORE. Horny and desperate to fulfil her promise, she decides to follow along. The video is perfect. The actress’s body is just like hers, making it easy for the girl to slip into the fantasy. Even better, the men are taking her ass. She plays with her virgin bum as the men pass the girl around.

“Dirty whore.” She whispers to the actress with a hint of jealousy. The girl holds back an orgasm as one man fills her ass with cum, trembling as the next one takes his turn. “Stupid fuckdoll.” Her fingers press deep into her bum as she fantasizes about her first time doing anal being just like that. “You’re a filthy little slut, aren’t-“ The men tug on the woman’s hair, showing her face to the camera.

She shrieks. On camera and off. The girl watches herself cum from anal sex. Terrified, she closes the tab. She responds to the sender in anger. What the hell was that. YOUR ANAL GANGBANG. I never did that. YOU DON’T REMEMBER? Quivering, she blocks the user and closes her laptop. The girl doesn’t sleep that night.

Those images never leave her mind. Her own sobbing face, tongue out, broken on those men’s cocks. I never did that. I never even had anal. I would remember. Weeks pass before she even tries to masturbate again. Choosing her own porn does nothing for her. The girl can’t get even close to orgasm with her own selection. Embarrassed by her own indecency, she opens Tumblr again.

Fifteen seconds later, a new message pops up. Another blank blog. TELL ME WHEN YOU WANT MORE. Leave me alone. DON’T YOU WANT TO FIND OUT. Find out what? HOW MUCH OF A SLUT YOU’VE BEEN. The girl can barely breathe. Her mind races. She should remember doing these things. Humiliated by how wet she is, the next few messages come in.

YOU’VE ALWAYS BEEN A WHORE. YOU JUST FORGOT. THIS WILL HELP YOU REMEMBER. Another sketchy link. The girl can’t help herself. She’s already rubbing her clit as she clicks the link. In a flash, there she is again. Her eyes widen as she watches herself spread her ass open. Lowering her bum onto a thick dildo attached to a black saddle. Rubbing her pussy as men strap her legs to the seat, holding her in place. Grinning like an idiot as the dildo starts to vibrate.

Two months of edging are gone in an instant. The girl cums on her fingers as a man fucks the bound woman. Breaking her pussy as the dildo ruins her perfect asshole. Having cum once, she can’t hold back anymore. Fingers deep in her cunt, she watches the man’s cum leak from her hole onto the buzzing dildo. She cums each time a new man breeds her. The video ends and she watches it again. The girl falls asleep with her fingers in her pussy.

Not 24 hours later, she messages her new friend. I want more. He sees her message, leaning back in his chair. Underneath his desk, a collared girl sleeps in her bed. BEG. I need more. I need to know what a dirty little slut I am. KEEP GOING. He types the message and returns to editing the script. I’m so dumb, I forgot I’m a fuckdoll. I forgot I made all this disgusting porn. I need you to show me. I need you to help me remember. The man copies the script into the prompt. His GPU starts to whirr.

START RUBBING, SLAVE. YOU’LL REMEMBER MORE SOON.

Everyone loves forcemasc dumbification but I need the opposite SO BAD

Academic validation forcemasc. Telling him how smart he is. Lending him old, queer books with underlined passages about the beauty in his masculinity, in loving men as he does. Take advantage of his need for knowledge, for validation. Give him the information he never knew he needed and praise him when he starts to internalize these ideas. Bring him to write his own experiences and compare him to those poets he reads so much.

There’s something so attractive about being obsessed with a girl

Obsessed with the way you look, obsessed with the way you dress. The way you talk about your favorite interests. The way you smile when I praise you. When you know how badly I want you. Walking slowly to you and backing you against a wall. Kissing your lips, my hands on your waist, just to put your hands above your head and pin them to the wall. Tracing kisses around your body, around your sweet spots I memorized. Learning where you feel good, where it turns you on, where you get wet when I touch you.

Slowly undressing you and grabbing your breasts, your waist, your neck. Just every part of you that I can’t resist the urge to touch. I want you to see how much you turn me on. How much I need to be inside you, so fucking badly. I want to see your face when I lower your panties and start rubbing your clit, feeling how much of a wet mess it is. Show me how needy you get. Show me how much you love being touched this way. Whimper, moan, whine, do it all as long as you say my name during it. The one who makes you feel this way, say it when my fingers are inside you. When I pick you up and throw you in the bed.

When I get on top of you, facing you and spreading your legs, holding your hands and pressing them against the bed. Just know I wouldn’t be able to hold the urge much longer. The urge I have to shove my cock inside you, to feel how soft and tight you are. I want to feel your tight cunt around my cock. Going slowly all the way in and out of you. I want to feel every inch of you. Every inch that makes me feel so good. I want to hear your whimpers when I go faster, when you wrap your legs around me as you get pounded. As your little wet hole gets stretched, just for me. And knowing I get to claim it with each thrust, makes me want to keep fucking you until you don’t forget who owns you.

I want to feel how tighter you get when you’re about to cum, when your pussy keeps throbbing and twitching. When I get close too so you can feel how much I throb inside you, pumping my warm cum to fill you up. To then kiss your forehead and just whisper in your ear:

“You’re mine..”