Not All Men

“not all men”

you’re fucking right, lawliet wouldn’t treat me like this.

Not as badass as the manga but still super sick! Thanks for posting these 🤞

Feral Gojo | The Honored One

I have depression 😔

sincerely not. (11)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

with an arranged marriage set in place, the sacred bond is doomed with a wife who wants to make the relationship work and a husband who’s ready to ruin it all. unknown to him, a tragic fate already lies within the pages of your romance book.

genre. heavy angst, unrequited love, arranged marriage, modern au, 18+

tags/warnings. profanity, mentions of alcohol/intoxication, mentions of pregnancy, infidelity/adultery, illness

notes. 10k wc. as always tysm for the beta-ing @suhkusa :] there are so many little twists on this chapter, enjoy !! for satoru and sera’s conversation at the bowling alley, please click here

series masterlist -> part twelve

When Satoru said that you would talk at home, it didn’t really happen. You had fallen asleep long before he came home at midnight with a strong smell of alcohol surrounding him. It seemed that he had spent the night drinking until he was intoxicated, stumbling into your bed with a half-buttoned shirt as he tried enveloping you in his arms—his lips on your nape, his chest on your back. Through his drunken stupor, he could still manage slurring “you’re mine” and “you’re my wife” as if he didn’t cast you aside over the course of your pitiful marriage. That night, you chose to resume your slumber without facing him or returning his hugs, remembering fully well how he established the fact that you would only come second despite being his lawfully wedded wife.

At least, you were seeing the light. The darkness that convinced you to make this marriage work was slowly fading because Gojou himself was making it clear to you that your marital relations were irredeemable. The spouse that vowed to love and cherish you, to be there for you in sickness and in health, to remain devoted to you for as long as he shall live, was the same person who never truly treasured you. But then again, how could you blame him? He didn’t ask for this marriage. He didn’t ask for you.

These thoughts bedeviled your mind when you took a shower the next morning, feeling warm beads of water raining down your naked body in rivulets while you were lost in trance thinking of the best way to deal with your situation. Satoru should still be sleeping by now because he didn’t have work for the whole week and was expected by his father to spend more time with you. As if he’d do that. He probably had a huge fight with Sera yesterday and would do his best to try and give her all of his precious time. That wouldn’t be too surprising since he did it before and he could very much do it again. You had already prepared yourself.

By the time you stepped out of the shower and sheathed your body with a white robe, you proceeded to dry your hair with another towel before you looked at yourself in the mirror. Every time you saw your reflection, you were quick to notice your flaws and just everything that you didn’t like about your physical appearance. Your face, your body, your complexion. If you couldn’t even find yourself beautiful, how much more in your husband’s eyes that never once made you feel so?

A sigh escaped your lips. Well, enough of that. You shouldn’t ruin your day with your insecurities and pessimistic thoughts. Those were no longer his fault but yours and yours alone. You simply lacked and he wanted more.

For now, you had to take your numerous medicines to start the day but had forgotten that you hid them inside your drawers. You usually didn't have a problem with taking your prescribed medications because Gojou would have already left for work before you could swallow all pills of different colors and sizes. This was a different case now because he would stay in bed for a whole week and you had to find another place to hide your medicine bag.

The first thing you did when you walked out of the bathroom was to head straight to your bedside table, but was surprised when you saw Satoru shifting in panic from his side of the bed. He was now wide awake with his back pressed against the headboard and his shirt completely unbuttoned. You came to notice how your phone was not in the same position as you left it near your lampshade and you came to a conclusion that your husband snooped through your phone. But you acted oblivious by ignoring him as you made your way to your side.

Is he suspecting me of cheating? That was his specialty, not yours. What was he expecting to see in your phone, anyway?

“Morning,” he greeted, feigning innocence by keeping his diamond blue eyes glued on your figure. He didn’t get a response.

What he received was plain silence as you opened your drawers and internally panicked when you couldn’t find your medicine bag no matter how much you rummaged through your things. No way, memories flashed before your eyes as you recalled that you had mindlessly placed it in Satoru’s bedside drawers yesterday. How stupid and untimely was that? Without uttering a word, you hastily scurried to his side of the bed only to be pulled by his manly arms as he clung around your waist.

“What’re you looking for?” he softly asked with traces of alcohol still lingering from his breath. You leaned away while you sat at the edge, opening his drawers to search for the bag. In his drawers, there were piles of personal documents, along with his wallet, his phone, and… an unopened box of condoms.

Your heart stopped. Those were clearly going to be used with Sera. Thinking about how sexually active he must be with her was causing the unusual thumping rhythm inside your chest. How many times did they do it in a week? How often did he ask for it? Thoughts of him pinning her down in bed, whispering sweet things in her ear as they made love was giving you a whirlwind of unhealthy emotions. You were dizzied by the thought of them being intimate that you felt the nausea kicking in.

You could feel Gojou’s chest pressing against your arm as his eyes trailed down to where you were looking at. Immediately, he clarified the situation by speaking up. “I got those for us,” he explained, emphasizing the last two words because he was perceptive to the way you paused when you discovered his contraceptives. “You don’t want a baby yet so I won’t force it out of you and I got us condoms just in case.”

Two things; you weren’t sure if you were relieved because they weren’t for Sera or because he was finally respecting your decision to not conceive a child at this period of your marriage. Though, beyond that, you also found it ridiculous how he believed that you would still have sex with him regularly. You may have done it countless times, day and night, before you ever had your big fight, but things have changed. You were no longer going to sleep with him just because you were husband and wife. He used to imply that it was an obligation more than it was for pleasure, so why have intercourse when his sole purpose for it was to make a baby in the first place?

“We don’t need these. You can throw them away,” you mumbled, pushing the box aside before you finally got a hold of your medicine bag that was disguised as a makeup pouch.

He must have misinterpreted your words when you asked him to discard the condoms because he started trailing kisses on your jaw while he brushed strands of your damp hair away from your shoulders. There was no hesitation when he tried to peel your robe off as he left kisses on your shoulder, hand snaking down to squeeze your clothed bosom. “You sure you don’t wanna use one? It’s safer.”

His warm breath tickled your earlobe, horripilation sweeping your body each time he rolled his tongue on your neck concurrent to how he sucked the flesh for a soft, inviting kiss. You were giving in, almost. But you pressed a hand on his bare chest and forcefully pushed him back in bed. Not because you would initiate anything sexual, but because you were avoiding it from happening. “Lay off, I’m not in the mood. I have somewhere to be.”

In the first place, he had more important things to clear out. Why hasn’t he brought up what happened between him and Sera yesterday? It seemed like he had no plans to even talk about it and you weren’t pleased. Sex wouldn’t solve all of his problems, only proper communication would.

“This early? Where are you going?” he questioned with a tone that matched his accusatory eyes.

You initially thought of not giving him a direct answer, but realized that it would lead to unnecessary interrogation and fuel his suspicions further. You just didn’t want to have a longer conversation with him. Though, admittedly, you found it funny that he was the one feeling restless about an affair that didn’t even exist. Toji would be guffawing had he seen your husband’s face right now. He was looking like he wanted to juice you for answers, but you gave him an honest response. “I’m heading out to see my fashion consultant and my seamstress to bring the fabric for my evening dress, then I’ll help her out in cutting the patterns. I want things to be done precisely.”

“That’s it?” Satoru gauged your emotions intently as if he was searching for any lies within your truths. “I’ll come with you, then.” You could tell from his expression that his words alluded that you should let him come if you weren’t hiding anything.

Satoru has surpassed the highest level of absurdity.

You held your breath and kept a deadpan expression. “No. You’re not needed.”

Visibly hurt by your rejection, he loosened his arm around your waist and released a deep exhale. You could see the slow rise and fall of his toned chest as he raked his fingers through his ivory hair. “I’m saying this in case you’ll be surprised, but from now on, I’ve ordered my bodyguards to follow you every time you leave the penthouse alone.”

What? Wasn’t his possessiveness a bit too much? You couldn’t believe that Satoru would ever make outrageous decisions like this. “You’re so interested in my whereabouts now?”

His face hardened. “I have the right to know. This is the second time I’ve learned that you’ve been hanging out with a business rival without telling me. I don’t want you to meet with him anymore.” You noted how your husband clenched his jaws after saying that. But… this couldn’t be jealousy. It was merely his pride speaking.

If he was so concerned about his image, why was he blatantly showing his affair in front of Toji yesterday?

“Did you see me asking my people to follow you while you were with Sera?” you asked, crossing your arms with a disapproving face.

“No, but that’s—” You bet he was going to put the blame on you again. You were certain that he would claim that his situation was different because they’ve been dating before he married you. Gojou had always painted you as the villain to his fairytale with Sera so that was expected. However, he surprisingly couldn’t find the right words to say and ended up drawing a long, deep breath before he spoke again, “Y/N… You understand that people do things they don’t mean, right? That sometimes we’re driven by emotions so we do terrible things that we regret later on?”

You stared at him, blankly. “What’s your point?”

“I just… I want you to trust me.” He grabbed your hand and squeezed your palm as though he was begging for your understanding. “I know it’s confusing for you right now, but I’m figuring things out and I just need more time to lessen the damage. I promise I’ll settle some things. For us.”

Was this part of the reason he was drinking all night? You were aware that your husband would consume alcohol here and there especially around other businessmen, but never to an extent where he would let himself be inebriated. While Satoru may seem reckless and childish, he was still a man who could run a business empire by himself. He knew when to hold himself together to look responsible in front of others. The only time he would pour liquor down his throat to the point of insobriety was when he was caught in a predicament, just like on his father’s birthday. You wondered what seemed to be specifically bothering his mind, still you had chosen to remain reticent with your personal feelings. It was better to keep your silence than to bother comprehending his non sequiturs. Satoru was the perfect example of self-contradictory. He says one thing, but does another. He told you that he wanted to make it up to you, but chose to run after his lover. You were no longer fooled.

He must be missing his sweet, affectionate wife who readily obeyed his requests despite being constantly demeaned, neglected, and hurt.

Think of your heart, Y/N. With that thought in mind, you simply got up and left him in bed while he watched your figure entering the walk-in closet. Your silence was deadly and he was having difficulties in finding a cure for it.

Why was he acting as if he was the one suffering?

It was too early for Naoya to drink a glass of Macallan, but the burning feeling of the liquor down his throat felt like a reward for his amazing performance last night. Leaning his body back against the headboard, he pulled the sheets to cover his naked lower body as he watched the woman pick up her underwear on the floor.

“Leaving so soon?” he asked, swirling the glass before taking another sip of the expensive liquor. Eula was struggling to clasp her bra and urged the younger man to help her clip it back in.

“His plane arrives this afternoon,” she said before she started pulling her pantyhose over her right leg. “I don’t wanna deal with that man’s temper if he finds out that I’d been away all night.”

Fair enough. Being the wife of the Gojou Group’s chairman must be tough. The pressure, the expectations, the obligations. But in all fairness, Naoya would applaud her for having to put up with a foolish old man whose greed ironically blinded him from the fact that his second wife was cheating on him with a much younger man. It was hilarious for Naoya to think about how he had found himself entangled with a business rival’s spouse, because no one else would have seen it coming.

“So, when are we gonna see each other again?” The question left his mouth with a hum. And before he knew it, the woman was zipping her dress back up, leaning down to kiss him passionately on the lips. The taste of cherry still lingered on her tongue and he would have asked her for another round of hard thrusting and moaning if she didn’t pull away so quickly.

Smiling, she grabbed her purse and took out her lipstick. “I’m gonna be busy. I’m sure you are, too.”

“Busy plotting Satoru-kun’s downfall?” The corner of his lips upturned in good humor. “You turn me on with your evilness.”

Eula was pressing her scarlet lips together as she looked at herself from a compact mirror. “It’s only a matter of time until that bastard will start humbling himself. Do you know they don’t wear their wedding rings anymore?”

Of course, Naoya noticed your ringless finger the first thing when you visited their estate but he chose not to tell his lover about it. “Really?” He placed the glass atop the oak table. “That’s interesting.”

A scoff escaped her lips as she recalled the image in her head. “Maybe I need to get Mei Mei to spice up the rumors in their office again.” It was almost as if these malicious schemes flowed into her brain naturally. “She has no morals when money is involved. Can you believe how stupid Satoru is? All she had to do was warn him about a fake mole to steer herself clear of any suspicions.”

Damn. To think that Naoya used to look up to Satoru as a businessman, seeing how he was letting a woman destroy his life and his marriage was disappointing. But then again, Naoya silently thought, that’s none of my business. He was satisfied enough to hear about the drama that was unfolding within the Gojou family. It felt as though he was watching a house burning down in uncontrollable flames with how things were going in their household. Since the opportunity already presented itself, he took the chance to inveigle the woman. “I’m already certain that Satoru-kun won’t let go of his wife until he’s got the merger secured,” he began, folding an arm at the back of his head, “and by doing that, he gets to be the CEO—”

“Absolutely not!” The woman surprised him with her quick disagreement. “Yuuta will take over the business. All of it. I’ll make sure Satoru won’t get a single penny once it happens.”

“You hate him that much?” Naoya grinned, amused by her frown.

He already knew the answer, but he enjoyed seeing her wrath. “I despise him. If only that son of a bitch treated me with respect since day one, I would have been less despicable to him.” As she said those words, she simultaneously got up and started to put on all of her diamond rings, necklaces, and earrings. Truth be told, Naoya found her ostentatious display of jewelry a bit distasteful since he has built a stigma towards the nouveau riche.

But this, he decided to turn a blind eye on it for personal reasons. Eula was different—that was all that mattered. It wouldn’t be a blot on his escutcheon when no one knew about his affair with the older woman in the first place. “You’d really risk ruining the company’s chances in sealing a merger deal just to convince your husband that your stepson is incompetent?” he asked, more so to try and make sense of her ulterior motives.

“It’s easy to do that merger thing with other companies, right?” Wrong. “I’m sure Shinzo will be able to secure another one with a better company than CFG.” Wrong again.

Creston held the prestige of having the largest financial assets in Japan. Even if a full merger couldn’t be possible, keeping ties with a huge company like that was still advantageous. At the end of the day, they could always go for product and market extensions. Ruining the relationship with you and Satoru would be detrimental not just for your families but for the Gojou Group as well.

But rather than allowing his rival’s conglomerate to skyrocket on top of the most successful companies in the world, Naoya would protect his family’s pride and never let the Zen’in Group be ousted.

“Yeah, it’d be easy to find a new company,” he agreed to the woman, sending her a convincing smile in between his words.

Without much thought, she sighed in relief. “Good. I don’t care about their stupid merger or whatever, anyways. There are better companies out there.”

This was the problem with people who didn’t possess a business mindset. Their analytical skills were shallow as they relied solely on their greed without paying attention to the repercussions it would have in the bigger picture. Because Eula was never passionate about her previous secretarial position back in the days, she wasn’t able to understand the value of a company other than organizing schedules, making coffees, and seducing her boss. Now that reminded him of someone else. Someone specifically like this woman in front of him.

“What’s the name of that girl again?” Naoya inquired. Curiosity glimmered through his eyes for a moment. He had seen the girl’s face but couldn’t remember her name. “That mistress, the one Satoru-kun’s obsessed with.”

Eula looked inherently bored. “Sera.”

Sera. Sera. Naoya’s lips curved upwards. I’d like to meet her soon.

Toji spent his morning going through piles of paperwork, reading every proposal and reports, approving and rejecting them, and signing where his signature was needed. Mondays were usually the busiest in the corporate world no matter which industry. He often saw the looks of his employees’ faces after work and could tell that the first day of the week alone had drained them. No one looked forward to Mondays as much as they did with Fridays, even the CEO himself who didn’t stay in the office often had the same thought.

On a similar note, his thoughts were full of you. He had not stopped thinking of the events that happened yesterday and how Satoru ran off to his mistress instead of staying with his wife. He didn’t think that seeing your husband choosing his mistress would actually prompt an angina attack and he realized that he should have known better than to induce a husband’s jealousy even if he did it with good intentions.

Why do the kindest people suffer the most? Your husband and that woman were shameless regardless of their reasons for having an affair. It was even more obnoxious how the mistress burst into tears as if she was in the position to show the exact emotions that the wife should be feeling.

If Toji’s own wife was still alive, she would have agreed that you were admirable for your emotional resilience.

But then, your heart… Knowing how fragile it was, you shouldn’t go through this much suffering anymore.

Back when you visited the estate, you were all smiles around the kids like they had been your temporary joy from the melancholy of your home. That version of you and that other version in the bowling alley were different in the sense that one was happy and the other was miserable. He hoped that you would no longer be the latter because a woman like you deserved to enjoy the rhapsodies of life while you still could. You exuded so much warmth that even his son and his nieces expressed how much they liked you. Your smiles were contagious and your stoicism was remarkable. It didn’t surprise him when Mai told him just how much she looked up to you, not just for your exquisite taste in fashion, but also for your humble elegance that could steal any man’s breath away.

Had you been single, had you waited a little, Toji knew for sure that countless men would have lined up on your doorstep asking for your hand in marriage. You deserved to be treated like a queen, not pushed to the side like a paramour.

Sometimes, he wished that you stood up for yourself more. He wished that you had been more selfish over some things that were rightfully yours. Your marriage, your husband一these were all yours in the eyes of God and of the whole world. Given that it was arranged for familial ties to keep your wealth within yourselves, you were still worthy of a faithful husband.

Was Gen aware of her brother-in-law’s infidelity? From what he remembered, that woman had a strong personality and had always been very protective of her sister. He knew this because they were colleagues in business school and they’ve always maintained a decent friendship even if she was closely tied to the Gojous. Maybe Gen wasn’t aware of Satoru’s antics all along, but that made Toji sympathize with you even more. It looked like you’ve chosen not to reveal your troubles because you didn’t want to burden others. He had always been attentive to the way you speak, the way you carry yourself, and the way you handle your emotions like a classy woman, and he waited for you to open up about the truth behind Satoru’s extramarital affairs, but not once did you ever slander your husband’s name behind his back.

While lost in deep thought, he sensed another person’s presence from behind the large doors of his office and it didn’t take him a second to guess the owner of the whiny voice. “Toji-kun!”

It’s too early for him to pester people, he thought as he shook his head, flipping the page so he could resume scanning the consolidated reports. Unfortunately, Naoya had already entered his office, striding inside with a Cheshire cat grin on his face that was hinting to whatever gossip he had this time. Doesn’t this man still act like a teenager for his age? Toji briefly looked up from his file to see his cousin plopping down on the couch. “What do you need? I’m busy.”

“I wasn’t trying to bug you,” he defended, although he kept the mischief on his face. “I’m disappointed you’re not asking me where I’ve been last night.”

Toji quickly signed the lower part of the page before closing the document. “Not my business.”

Naoya huffed at the man’s insouciance. “I got laid. When was the last time you did?”

Instead of praising him like he badly wanted, Toji decided to tease the guy. “You’re proud about screwing an older woman?”

“It’s not that一!”

“Yeah, right.”

A heavy sigh of defeat flew out of the younger man’s lips. Toji was no stranger to Naoya’s affair with the wife of the Gojou Group’s chairman. He didn’t know the details of how they met and started their relationship, but knowing Naoya who always swore to being a hit-it-and-quit-it with his dalliance towards socialites, models, and idols, his discreet entanglement with Satoru’s stepmom was definitely scandalous. Not only because of the age difference, but also because of the fact that he was getting involved with a business rival. It was a double-edged sword that could either be beneficial or damaging to the Zen’in clan. Even with that in mind, Toji trusted that the guy was smart enough with what he was doing which was also why he wasn’t really meddling with his covert schemes. Naoya was even confident when he brought up a specific topic, “I heard they’re planning to proceed with the merger soon, but it’s pathetic that it won’t end up happening. Eula wants her son to inherit everything.”

Not surprising at all. “She’s gonna have a hard time dethroning Satoru. Everyone knows that his father would rather hand the company over to someone from his own bloodline no matter how much he adores his adoptive son.”

“Fair enough,” the blond agreed, crossing his legs while resting his back against the cushion, “but Satoru-kun’s dealing with his marriage too, isn’t he? I also heard that they couldn’t produce an heir. It’s been several months since they got married, ‘ya know?”

His silence overcame him. Couldn’t produce an heir? Did that mean that you were unable to conceive a child? Toji pushed the pitiful thought away. Certainly, there must be a reason why you had not gotten pregnant. You must be taking extra measures now that you were on medications because of your heart problems.

“We don’t know the full story,” was all that he could say to him.

“Toji-kun.” Naoya’s smirk was the very image of an evil incarnate, but his playful voice would fool anyone into thinking that he was harmless. “What would you do if Y/N was your wife?”

What would he do if you were his wife? That would never happen, but…

He looked at the guy with a still breath. “I’d make sure everyone who wronged her would be begging on their knees.”

Of course, for someone as sadistic as Naoya, this was the answer that he wanted to hear. He was so delighted and satisfied that he got up from his seat before walking towards the door with a salute to signal his departure. “Leave all the dirty work up to me.”

For someone who chose to run after his lover rather than to stay with his wife, Gojou was sure as hell confusing.

That afternoon when you did pay a visit to your seamstress, Satoru didn’t insist on coming with you after you declined him, but he did stick to his words when he said that his bodyguards would be following you. There were at least three of them in their vehicle who preposterously tailed your car wherever you went and you pondered on whether these people realized how plainly inane their boss was. If he was so worried about your apparent infidelity, he should also remind himself that he was the one that started it. You weren’t the kind of person who would cheat on a partner no matter how terrible they were, but he couldn’t deny that you were also just serving him his own medicine if it did happen.

It was actually embarrassing how your small team of seamstresses and stylists noticed how the bodyguards were peeking from outside of the shop—one of them was even on the phone as if he was detailing a report to his boss. This is humiliating. You could only imagine how Satoru was acting back in your penthouse alone, possibly all edgy and agitated because he couldn’t accept the fact that you were no longer the same caring wife that he married.

At least, on the external.

It must be insulting for him that the tables have turned. You used to be neglected at home while he was out spending romantic dates with Sera, but now he was the one being rejected and neglected by you, though only because you had actual obligations to tend to. Between you and him, he should be grateful that you weren’t doing anything more hurtful than detaching yourself from him when it would be easy for you to just sleep with another man out of spite.

That wasn’t you, though. At the end of the day, you still came home as a devoted wife. The only difference was that you were less attached and nurturing, but more cold and indifferent. On the other hand, upon coming back home, you were greatly surprised to see a couple of men in uniform entering the empty room opposite yours and Satoru’s master bedroom. He was watching each person that went inside, sighting every corner to ensure that everything was perfect to his vision. The said workers were carrying a few pieces of furniture into the room as well as a wide desk, some racks, some mannequins and magazines, and other items that you would particularly see in a fashion studio.

As it turned out, Satoru had ordered a rush restructuring of the empty room and modeled it into a working space. For you.

“So you don’t have to leave home,” he reasoned, hands on his waist after you questioned him why he did all of that. “I want you here with me all the time.”

You couldn’t thank him because his intention wasn’t particularly pleasing to the ears. It was more of a possessive act that didn’t make you impressed, but you were grateful that he did consider giving you a convenient place to work on your designs. “I appreciate it,” you let him know.

At that point, he softened and embraced you in his arms as if he missed you all day. “We’ll have dinner at that Italian restaurant you like after this.”

You had actually forgotten that your husband had a week-long vacation from work because you were surprised when you woke up the next day to see him still indulging in a deep sleep at eight in the morning. You didn’t give him small kisses on the cheek like you used to when you woke him up for work, instead deciding to start your morning routine by yourself. Whether having him for a whole week was a good thing or not, you tried not to let his presence ruin your plans. Tuesday was a special day because you promised to hang out with your dad who even took a day off his schedule just to see you again.

The reason why you avoided your father recently was because you didn’t have the courage to face him after finding out about your heart’s diagnosis. You weren’t ready to lie and hide the fact that there was a possibility that you could end up like your mom, knowing that it would be the greatest agony that you could ever put your dad through. Somehow, the days you’ve spent without seeing your father gave you peace of mind until you were finally prepared to act normal around him.

Horseback riding was his favorite recreational activity and it had been a long time since you’ve seen your beautiful rare-breed white horse with blue eyes that you loved dearly ever since you were a kid. You never paid attention to how much Willow resembled Satoru until you saw your husband petting your horse as soon as you visited the stable. It wasn’t your intention to invite him, but it was the least you could do to show some form of gratitude for his gesture of giving you your own fashion studio. Besides, your father wanted to see his son-in-law and you would never oppose that.

Nonetheless, you still ignored your husband’s remarks of how sexy you looked in an equestrian attire, but you couldn’t ignore him when he decided to ride the horse together with you. Poor Willow for having to carry the two of you on her back. In your attempt to comfort your beautiful mare, you gave her soft pats on the head while Satoru held the reins, urging her for a gallop.

“Did you miss mommy, Willow?” you cooed at the horse, gaining her gentle neigh. Your baby talks were probably embarrassing, but you didn’t care as you showered your mare with affection.

Gojou, who momentarily stiffened behind you upon hearing how you referred to yourself, steered the horse slower along the green fields. “Daddy misses mommy, too,” he mumbled, sulking. And with his chin on your shoulder, he maneuvered Willow to slow down.

Your heart was thumping louder in your chest in the same rhythm as your husband’s heartbeat that vibrated on your back. No, you refused to submit to his words of affection. Your trusting nature was the main reason why you’ve been hurting throughout your marriage and you couldn’t let it further widen the crevices in your heart. Shaking the thought away, you gripped the reins tighter and replied, “You should have gotten a separate horse.”

“I wanted to ride with you.”

“Then, ride with your own horse.”

His deep breath slithered through your ear. Was he losing his patience? Good. Even better. At least, if he was back to being unreasonably rude like in the beginning of your marriage, it would be easier for you to keep your distance from him. But with Gojou’s resolute mien, he stayed consistent in trying to win you back. “Do you remember when we used to ride our ponies back then?” he asked, reminiscing memories of your childhood like a distant dream. “Willow was just as close to Eight as we were.”

Ah, Eight. His black horse who had unfortunately passed away a couple of years ago. You did recall that you often rode together as kids and that you would have smiles on your faces until dusk after taking a journey into the woods. You often sneaked out with your ponies and came back being reprimanded by your head nannies, but Satoru would always cover for you claiming that it was his idea when it had been originally yours. He was a sweet, romantic child and thinking about the old Satoru was only hurting you.

This Satoru didn’t love you the same anymore.

“Yeah,” you said after a while, allowing for the awkward air to surround the two of you. Thankfully, you heard the steady clopping of another horse and saw your father grinning as he managed to keep up with you. “Hey, dad!”

He pulled the reins to slow the animal down. “I had to make him run laps. How are you two enjoying it so far?”

Satoru placed a hand on your waist. “I think Willow’s very happy to see her again.” You noted how easy it was for your husband to woo your father’s approval just because he had always seen him as if he was his own child. “Dad, were you able to receive the invitation for the anniversary?”

Your father’s gaze remained on your husband. “Yes. Fifty-years, was it? It must be a grand celebration.”

You were initially confused, but quickly picked up that they were conversing about the Gojou Group’s 50th Anniversary. It was a huge event that would take place at the InterContinental with a rough estimate of five hundred guests ranging from the regular employees to the most notable executives. You figured that this was where they would also formally announce the merger which was why your father’s presence was heavily required.

“Gen will be in Cancún that day, right?” you chimed in, unknowingly resting your back on your husband’s toned chest who then took the chance to wrap a tighter arm around you.

Satisfied with the sight of your romance, your father nodded his head and answered, “I’m afraid, yes. She’s been looking forward to the trip for the past two months so she can’t attend the event, but I will be there.”

You could feel Satoru’s smile even if you couldn’t see his face. “It’d be a pleasure to see you there, dad.”

“Of course, son.” The curve of your father’s eyes brought relief to your soul. Whenever you saw how happy and content he was, you were always given a sense of the same felicity because you grew up in a household where love was constantly shown. Your father must have hoped that you would have the same dynamic in your own family one day when the time comes where you would have to raise your children with your spouse. “I’m glad to see that you two maintained a good relationship from then until now. Something tells me that Satoru is a romantic husband.”

You wanted to spitefully laugh. Instead, you looked away and forced a smile. “He’s so sweet that he makes me cry.”

With that, your husband found his silence, stunned by the sarcasm in your words.

On the third day of his week-long vacation leave, it was Gojou’s idea to drag you to the mall after he spent the whole morning working out at the gym. You couldn’t deny that there was extreme sexual tension between the two of you when he came back to the penthouse, faced flushed red and torso glistening with sweat, while you were stepping out of the shower with nothing but a towel wrapped around your body. You didn’t know how long it had been since he had gotten laid, but you weren’t really yearning for intimacy as much as he did.

You remained stubborn with your decision not to sleep with him despite his constant attempt at spoiling you with affection. You also denied his kisses and received his puppy-like expression whenever you rejected his advances. He must be bipolar.

Did he think that you were punishing him? Frankly, this wasn’t even a form of punishment or rebellion. He should realize that you were rejecting him because you simply wanted to achieve your goal of staying detached. You were still uncertain of what you wanted with this marriage, but the less you cared about Satoru, the easier it would be to walk away when the perfect opportunity came.

You hoped, by the time it happened, all parties involved wouldn’t be as hurt and broken the same way you would be.

Gojou must not have noticed how you were lost in trance while the two of you walked around the mall, supposedly spending the day shopping and luxuriating on high end brands. He asked you a couple of times already if there was anything specific that you wanted—even going as far as taking you to Chanel and telling the sales staff to display the latest pieces that they had. It seemed that your husband was fully aware of your style because he knew exactly which pieces were fitting to your taste.

“You would look so elegant in this, Mrs. Gojou!” one of the sales staff praised just as your husband grabbed your hand and intertwined your fingers together. Unknown to him, you were silently thinking of the day when the staff from Givenchy mistook you as ‘Mrs. Zen’in’, and since then, the name has been an inside joke between you and Toji.

Toji… You hoped that he was doing well wherever he may be at the moment. You’ve seen his recent post on Instagram where he spent a day in Disneyland with Megumi and the twins, acting as the cool guardian to the youngest in their household. You admired just how fatherly he was to them and wondered if Satoru would have that kind of bond with his kids in the future, too. Probably not in the near future since you didn’t exactly carry his child yet.

“Can you make sure my wife gets the best stock?” Satoru instructed as if he was a king ordering his subordinates to ensure that you would receive only what a queen should. While saying this, he looked down at you and tugged at your hand so he could pull you into his chest. “Let me get you anything you want.”

Buying things appeared to be Satoru’s love language. Either that or he was just doing it out of guilt. You didn’t want to make it seem like you were easily swayed by material things so you made an effort to clarify, “I’ll pay for them with my own money.”

Okay, well, maybe you sounded a little too pompous with your chosen words but you definitely didn’t mean to put it that way. Fortunately, your husband understood your underlying intentions. “It’s okay. It’s a gift from me.”

Was he hoping to see the same wife who excitedly presented the Chanel cardigan back when you were en route to Iceland? You clearly remembered being enthusiastic over the trip and all he would reply was ‘whatever’ and that you should leave him alone.

Since you couldn’t turn down this one ‘gift’, you’ve decided that it was best to tell him that you were already satisfied with what you had back home and that he didn’t have to bother trying to purchase things that would only lessen the space in your already extensive wardrobe. Without listening to your appeal, he still took you inside the Rolex store and immediately looked for the most expensive pair that they currently had. Lo and behold were the couple watches in oystersteel, everose gold and diamonds that put a satisfied grin on your husband’s face. Because he looked so excited and happy, you couldn’t stop him when he removed your smartwatch and replaced it with the Rolex to see if it would look good around your wrist.

His was of the same color scheme and design, but was bigger and thicker befitting for a gentleman. Satoru was strangely giddy about having matching watches with you and you couldn’t tell if it was an act or if his actions were laced with genuineness. Either way, he was not informed that the smartwatch had more purpose in your life than the overly luxurious one that he just purchased, but you’ve decided that letting him know about the true functions of your seemingly plain smartwatch would be saved for another day.

“You didn’t have to, but thanks,” you spoke to him with hesitance strained in your eyes.

The diamond blues of his were staring at you with a sad glint that screamed ‘Can I at least get a kiss?’ You silently wished that he could stop this nonsense in front of other people, but still gave in and pecked his soft lips, earning the fluttering eyes and dreamy smiles of the lovely staff. “Anything for my wife.”

He was trying too hard. Way too hard that it was becoming suspicious. Did he do anything more hurtful than running after Sera that day at the bowling alley? There was no way for you to know because the man was taciturn about his lover, whose name never left his mouth ever since the week started. You wouldn’t put it past him to do unforgivable things while faking all the sweet gestures that he had been showing you for the past few days, because Satoru was the one responsible for your newfound trust issues.

The little shopping date would have ended after he purchased the Rolex watches, but something caught your eye when you walked past Louis Vuitton and saw the most exquisite pair of men’s lace-up leather shoes that you recognized as the famous Manhattan Richelieu. It was black in color and had waxed alligator leather, molded with classic stitch patterns and detailed perforations. It was upscale, elegant, and very fitting for a man with expensive European tastes. Before you knew it, you were already sauntering inside the store with your gaze set on the shoes that were displayed in a glass box. The first thing you did was to ask if they had available sizes or if it could be custom-made and the sales staff informed you by responding with the latter. It was still a good thing, though. At least you were given the option to fully customize the shoes.

Aside from that, you rarely checked the price tag, but you saw that the shoes were worth an astounding three million yen.

Great. It was perfect. “Could you please make sure that you wrap it very nicely?”

The lady paid your husband a quick glance and saw him looking through the racks of business suits that seemed to have gained his interest. “Maybe we can have Mr. Gojou try the shoes first?”

You offered a smile and shook your head. “No, it’s for a friend of mine,” you explained. “Kindly register the shoes under Mr. Toji Zen’in, please.”

On the last day of Satoru’s work-free week, he couldn’t spend it with you.

You figured that it was perhaps because you purchased a very expensive shoes for Toji一someone he hated with all his might一as he spent the whole night throwing a child-like tantrum, sulking like a baby, but also looking extremely hurt and offended. He couldn’t show those exact emotions in front of the LV employees, but exploded like a volcano as soon as you came back to the penthouse. He saved his pride by not complaining at the fact that you bought those specific shoes for someone else, but more so because it wasn’t a good image for someone’s wife to purchase gifts for another man. By following his logic, you mentioned that it overlapped with how he bought a rare pair of Princess Diana’s Jimmy Choo shoes for another woman, and that was how the whole argument ended.

Satoru had no other choice but to eat his own irony.

However, that didn’t seem to be the reason why he couldn’t spend his Friday morning with you. Despite the immaturity he showed the night prior, you admit deep inside that you felt bad for unintentionally hurting him just because you wanted to repay a kind friend with a well-deserved gift. Your husband acted better that morning, although still upset, he helped you out in cooking breakfast and cleaning the dishes after. The only thing he mentioned was that he had important appointments to deal with and that you could just spend a movie night together once he came back.

“It’s alright,” you affirmed, carefully placing the china set back into the cupboard. “I have an appointment, too. Please don’t send your bodyguards after me if you don’t want us to fight.”

His sigh was loud and heavy just as his shoulders were slumped. It was true一you did have an appointment with your doctor, but you couldn’t let him know about that. He was oddly not as inquisitive today either, so you weren’t sure if that was a good thing or not. Strangely, Satoru hugged you from behind and kissed your cheek lovingly as if he was afraid that you would suddenly disappear from his sight. It didn’t help that his eyes were of the lonely shade of blue.

What was going through his head?

“I’ll see you tonight?” His smile was forced as if it was a mask and his voice sounded almost like he was nervous. “I promise I’ll come back to you as soon as I sort everything out.”

You had no idea what kind of appointment he was talking about, but he left that morning before you did. He also drove his McLaren instead of having Ijichi to drive for him in a sedan. Well, that appointment must not be about business if he took his personal car with him. Did Satoru think that you were stupid not to notice? Wherever he was going, you didn’t care anymore. You had to focus on yourself now that you had space to breathe away from his suffocating presence. If you came to the hospital with difficulties in breathing, it would be a pain to try and explain that it wasn’t exactly because of your angina, but because of your personal matters with your husband.

As much as you disliked being in hospitals, it was becoming second nature for you to visit Dr. Mori regularly because he needed constant updates about the improvements you’ve made since your last visit.

“Have you been stress-free lately?” You knew that would be the first question that would leave his mouth as soon as you sat down.

You couldn’t lie to a doctor, so you responded with an apologetic smile. “I am less stressed, but sometimes it’s unavoidable.”

He nodded his head, humming as he wrote on his pad. “Any notable changes with the discomfort in your chest? I need to know this so I can see if we need to change your prescribed medicines.”

“The medicines do help a lot. I tried the GTN spray for the first time and I managed to recover from an attack after a few minutes.”

Dr. Mori squinted his eyes at the mention of a recent angina attack but understood that it really could not be prevented straight away. “Alright, make sure that you keep a healthy diet with limited amounts of saturated fat. Add more fruits and vegetables, whole grains, lean meats, and low-fat dairy products in your everyday meals. If your medications and diet won’t help, I might have you consider an angioplasty and stenting.”

The whole follow-up appointment with your doctor was him giving you options in case the medications and the lifestyle changes didn’t work—it wasn’t to scare you, but rather to reassure you that you weren’t going to die just because you had this specific heart condition. After retelling the medical history of your mother, Dr. Mori could see why you have been anxious about your health because the thought of having to go through the same fate as your mom was indeed inducing your stress along with other factors such as your inconsistent relationship with your husband. You spared him of the details concerning your marriage, although he must have had an idea that it could be related to family conflicts because he suggested that you should bring your spouse so that he would be aware of your situation.

For now, you declined.

Though you were swallowed by the thought of how things would be if Satoru was actually aware of your illness. What would it be like to have him accompany you to your medical appointments? How would things change between you two if he knew that you lived with a fragile heart? Before all the comfort that he may or may not provide, you were sure that he would first be consumed by guilt and affliction for having realized that he had some contribution in exacerbating your hereditary illness. You might be too ahead of yourself for thinking that Satoru would even feel guilty when he wouldn’t ever be half as concerned with you than he was with his lover.

Your thoughts came to a sudden halt. The world must be playing its cruel games with you.

Because while you were walking through the hallways of the hospital, you spotted the familiar tousled ivory hair from a distance that stretched you and your husband several meters apart. He was sitting on one of the benches, pulling on his hair with one hand with his elbows on his knees as he frantically waited outside of Ieiri’s office. He looked completely distressed and unsettled as if he was foreseeing an impending doom.

Did he find out that you were here and he followed you to make sure that you weren’t cheating?

You continued to approach him. “Satoru—”

But as you faintly called for his name, the next few seconds that passed had your feet glued to the ground. Your body froze and turned you into solid ice. While you fell static from where you stood, your face bathed in shock as you saw Sera walking out of the OB-GYN clinic.

It all suddenly clicked to you.

Everything made sense.

Unnoticed on the side, you watched in despair as Satoru rushed to Sera before facing Ieiri who had just come out of her clinic after following your husband’s mistress. You recognized the atmosphere that surrounded them and your initial reaction was to emit a soundless laugh. Why? Because it was funny. Hilarious. Spectacular. They have continuously made a fool out of you as your sole purpose to them was to be a comic relief. Your life was a joke that you constantly had to be reminded of how you were just an extra in their fairytale romance.

My husband has gotten his mistress pregnant.

There was no other way to conclude this situation, and it was the rightful slap that would wake you up to the reality you and him were never once meant to be.

Tears had long fallen before you could stop them. They cascaded from your eyes like waterfall as every second was a punch to your gut and a hammer to your chest.

Your heart. Your heart was suffering. Your heart was screaming and crying. Your heart—pulverized into bits, covered in flames, and left in ashes.

You were running to the opposite side of the hallways without much thought to your surroundings and the worried eyes that followed your movements. You ignored the beeping noise that blasted from your watch, because you already knew it yourself that your heart was beating at an abnormally fast pace.

No, you didn’t stop running out of the hospital until you reached the parking lot with a heavy breath, but you couldn’t get into your car because your legs had already failed you. You were crouching on the floor with your hand pressed on the window and another holding your chest. There, you muffled a sob and covered your mouth to silence your agony. You repeatedly pounded your chest with your fist as the pain trapped you into an endless void.

You knew that this would happen, but why did it hurt so much?

Flashback — Bowling Alley, Parking Lot

“Sera!”

Because Gojou had long legs, he was able to catch up to a weeping Sera who ran out of the place after hearing her lover declare that he wanted his wife in front of everyone else. She felt betrayed, hurt, and furious at how this all seemed like a setup to make her feel pain. Her fists naturally tightened as she remembered how confident you looked when you gathered everyone in the same place. ‘That’s what it is!’ she thought, stopping in her tracks as she realized it. ‘She invited me because she wanted to humiliate me!’

How cruel and vile could you be? This was definitely your true colors and you were finally unsheathing your snake skin to reveal just how awful of a woman you were. You manipulated Satoru into thinking that he wanted you all because you had the wealth and power. You seduced him into thinking that he no longer felt the need to be intimate with her all because you were a selfish bitch who couldn’t stand being replaced by someone who was of lesser fortune.

‘Who do you think you are? Satoru belonged to me before you even appeared in his life!’

“Bitch!” she exclaimed, wiping her tear-stained cheeks as she imagined the lopsided smirk on your ugly face. If not for your money, no one would be interested in you.

“Sera,” once again, Satoru called for her name and pulled her by her arm. Instead of comfort, there was nothing but ire in his countenance. “Did you have to make a scene like that?!”

With her temper, she pushed him on the chest and cried more. “How dare you! How dare you say you want her!”

It hurt even worse when she could read through the expression on Gojou’s face that he was tired and that he wasn’t going to fight for their love anymore. No, no, this can’t be!

“Sera,” he spoke sullenly, “I know I made promises for us, I know I’m responsible for keeping you in this relationship, I know everything’s my fault and that you’re just caught in between, but… us… we can’t be together anymore. I’m married and I know that it was for business, but I realized that I—”

Tears blurred her vision as she expected the next words that would come out of his mouth, so she stopped him by pushing his chest yet again. “Don’t even say that to me!”

“This isn’t right anymore!” He looked at her with pity in his eyes—pity that she didn’t ask for. “Sera, you’re a wonderful woman to me and I’m sure you’ll meet someone that will appreciate you better than I will.”

No. No, no, no. Never in a million years could she find someone like him.

“When I hurt my wife, I hurt myself, too.” Gojou’s chest rose and fell through heavy breaths. “It’s only recently that I realized it. I want her. I wanna be with her. I can’t think straight when I’m not with her.”

Laughable. He was saying this now, but she remembered his words very clearly, and how much he insulted you behind your back. He hated you, he didn’t love you, he was meant to leave you behind.

Sera knew that this wasn’t the real Satoru that she loved and she was desperate to bring him back. Whatever spell he was in, he had to snap the hell out of it.

“I’m gonna kill myself if you break up with me. I-I can’t do this alone,” she said through gritted teeth, chest heaving as more tears left her eyes. “I’m late, Satoru. Take responsibility for me and our baby.”

Normally, it would be a man’s absolute joy to hear that the woman he deeply loved was carrying his child. He would express happiness through joyful tears, screams, and exchanging kisses. He would tell her how much he loved her and that he was looking forward to starting a family together, promising a new life ahead and a love that would last forevermore. Sera wanted him to show all of these reactions, but the look of horror in his face utterly destroyed her.

Satoru was having a mental breakdown as he was at a loss of words, throwing his head back for a moment before gazing down at her hopelessly. “Sera, you can’t be fucking lying to me right now.”

“But I missed my period!” she screamed at his face. ‘Isn’t that enough proof?’ She released more tears which soon elicited his sympathetic sigh.

“I’m sorry, we can’t,” he told her, brutally candid. “We can’t have a baby. Please, Sera. It’s best if we don’t.”

She clenched her jaws tightly. “You can’t decide for me!”

There wasn’t anything much to see in Satoru’s face except for his resolute denial. Denial, regret, restlessness—all but a paroxysm of negative emotions. It seemed like he didn’t trust her words as he began to suggest, “I’ll get Ieiri to check on you and confirm that you’re actually pregnant. I need concrete proof.”

Panicking, Sera shifted into a softer stance but still teared up withal. “I…I’ll be busy.”

“Then, we can fit it into your schedule,” he insisted, looking as if he would lose his mind thinking about what would happen to their lives had it turned out to be true. Sera was absolutely disgusted to see the man that he became and how much you ruined him.

You ruined what they had and Sera would make sure that you would pay for it.

jjk general taglist: @kity @deeznutss @wonyoschubs @the-golden-jhope @6mattsun9 @hokageyamz @ermahgerd-larry-and-ziam @crashica @aizawap @juniorhooter @atsumusoup @gxtitobxby @strawberries-en-cream @dora-the-grownup @softy-woo @tsumume @kac-chowsballs @anime-nymph @kageyamakock @onlyonew @underratedmage @katsulovee @crapimahuman @alicia-1725 @fatal-impact @drippedcream

sincerely not taglist: @itsnotsoni @pluviophilefangirl @daphnxy @Icveaesop @choso-bee @sparklingblacktea @omisemi @captainchrisstan @your-consulting-fangirl @buttercups145 @xllance @jonsncws @and-you-found-me @tobiotetsu @jeonjungkookismyfuture @d-efend @honouredsatoru @my-reality-is-in-my-head @blueowl51 @misslovingpearl @cuteissei @japanesevenom @borpcorp @ushi-bakatoshi @idyllicodyssea

SPOILERSSS

Bdjdkdjxhd

Hold on a minute while I bring myself back to earth omg. I love this sm!! This is definitely one of the top five fics I've ever read! When they meet my heart is racing and ik it shouldn't but it was hot how he was all 'tuff lol. I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE ADDITIONAL RANDOM PUNS SPREAD ACROSS THE FIC!!! And the chocolate thing was so cute! I hate dark chocolate not going to lie, but it was adorable how they were opposites!! AND THEY ACTUALLY HAVE REASONS TO LOVE EACH OTHER GRADUALLY UNLIKE THE SUDDEN LOVE OF OTHER FICS!!! And I just knew there was gonna be a snu snu scene because of the fact that she took geto's bag (I don't read warnings, ikik) I love love love apocalypse and world ending things so yayyy this was great!! Thanks for the lovely fic!!

𝖔𝖓𝖑𝖞 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 𝖑𝖊𝖋𝖙 𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖛𝖊

summary: when a disease turns the world into an apocalyptic landscape, you join a group in order to survive. you find yourself drawn to a certain blue-eyed man for no explainable reason. though the two of you have your own pasts to deal with, the two of you grow closer and closer together. after all, it seems as though you’re the only lovers left alive

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

genre: post apocalypse au, strangers to friends to lovers, slight angst, fluff, smut, some hurt comfort, inspired by some of the events from the last of us

word count: 16k+

warnings: 18+ mdni, some heavy-ish themes, mentions of suicide, smut, heavy making out, fingering, vaginal penetration, cum eating, slight begging, gojo is a teeny bit of a dick but overall just doesn’t know how to handle emotions

note: i did take some inspo from the last of us, so if you see something you might recognize, it’s because i most likely based something off of it. nothing too major though, but the infected here are like the ones in the game/show. i don’t want any comments saying i stole the idea bc i stg i’ll just combust 

also a thank you for @jadeisthirsting​ for beta-reading again, love her!

You were glad that chocolate bars survived the apocalypse. 

Those, along with chips (you don’t look at expiration dates anymore), crackers, and protein bars seemed to stand the tests of time. 

The abandoned convenience store was harshly run down. The glass was shattered, and you could hear the crunch of shards underneath your boots whenever you walked up and down the aisles. Vegetation took reign in most of the area, and vines grew alongside the walls and the counters. Weeds sprung through the cracks in the floor and long blades of grass peeked in from the outside. 

A lot of the aisles were already ransacked from those who came before, but you had to admit that this place was in much better condition food-wise than all the others you had seen. You loaded your cart with whatever you could find; cereal, bars, chips, instant ramen, jerky, really anything that wasn’t perishable by your standards. 

You also made sure to stock up on medical supplies while you were here. Antiseptic, rolls of bandages, needles for stitching, medical tape. You were able to find a bottle of disinfectant and some rubbing alcohol, so you spent a couple of minutes cheering over the small victory. 

The rays of sun that peeked through and washed out certain parts of the store a quiet orange made it seem more serene than it actually was, and you took your time as you leaned on the cart handle, walking slowly as you tried to pretend like you were just shopping for amenities like you would years ago, without the fear of the outside world trying to hunt you down the moment you stepped out. 

Under your breath you hummed a soft tune, letting your fingers run over the empty shelves as you looked around. 

Many opened boxes littered the ground. None of them were to your benefit so you just stepped over them, tapping something on your arm to keep your mind busy. It was only noon, so you had a couple of hours to waste before it got dark.

Though you had the hunting rifle near you in case anything popped out in front of you, you liked to pretend that there was no danger when you rounded a corner. It saved a little naive part of your mind to imagine that everything was normal when you knew that it wasn’t.  

“…yeah, no, no, I agree, I just…” 

You stopped in your tracks, air hitching in your throat as you went rigid upon hearing the muffled voices. 

“I heard the bunkers in Kyoto and Osaka fell…radio transmission,” It was a female voice, that much you could make out. But assessing the sound of feet shuffling on the floor and the other sounds, you knew there had two be at least two people, maybe even more. 

You couldn’t even remember the last time you had heard somebody speak. You tried to remember, raking your mind for when it was, and it must have been months ago, maybe even a year, and that was just a small encounter. You doubted the guy even saw you. And this is far worse, they closed and you have nowhere to hide without making a sound. They could be raiders or scavengers. One of them could be infected without the other’s knowledge. Millions of thoughts ran through your head as you tried to rationalize with yourself.

“What happened to the one in Nara?” This time it was a male voice, and much closer than before. They were probably only a few aisles away until they reached you. You could feel your heart beating uncontrollably fast, rattling against your ribcage as your mind faltered on what to you. 

“They’re not letting people inside. They deter anybody unless you have a pre-bought cabin there.” The first woman replied, and you could hear some glass clanking as she kicked an empty beer bottle (from what you could deduce), across the floor. 

“How do you know so much?” Another male asked. Three so far, you made a mental note as you tried shoving all your food and things in any pocket you could find, shoving the big bottle of rubbing alcohol down your shirt to nestle on your bra. You didn’t risk your life trying to find this place just to have some strangers take the things you so desperately need.

“They play messages on the radio at night. If you didn’t go to sleep so fuckin’ fast you might hear something useful.” The first girl said, but there was no bite to her voice. She even chuckled, and you swore one of the other guys laughed too. 

“Why can’t we just stay where we are? We haven’t seen any infected here.” Four. This time it was another girl’s voice. So far, two females and two males. You were severely outnumbered. You doubted you were that skilled, even in all your years, to surpass four people.  

Deciding to leave a few bars behind, you gingerly moved past the cart, making sure not to make a sound as you tiptoed across the broken bottles and glass. You held your breath and tried to hold onto your jacket, not wanting anything to fall out. 

You tried to phase out whatever they were saying so you could stay focused. You squinted your eyes as rays of the sun blinded you when they peeked through some cracks in the ceiling. You shuffled slowly and precisely, your heart quite literally beating in your throat as moved around the debris on the floor. 

You could see the double doors, both open as you let out an inaudible sigh of relief when you saw them, a promise that you weren’t going to die right here when-

CRUNCH.

You stopped, eyes slowly falling down to the comically large piece of glass under your foot, now shattered into a million pieces as you stop breathing. You wait for abated second, thinking nobody heard until you heard some clattering coming from behind you. 

Keep reading

HE DID WHATT???? The racist part is very upsetting but that can be solved with time.. (I hope idk 😭 my sisters bf used to call Asians chinks until he started dating my sister and she shaped him up) but the HE RAISED A HAND TO YOU??!?!? Never ever ever ever ever date or marry a person who gets physical with you when they're upset!! No matter the reason!!! 😭😭 once a hitter always a hitter. Your ex manz is immature as heck and you are not his teacher try to remember that!! If only one person is growing in a relationship then it's not healthy, a relationship is for two people to grow not one. I'm not trying to get all in your business but don't even reconsider him 😭 block his azz, avoid him, everything my girl. My grandma got hit by my grandpa in an argument one time before they were married and he apologized and coddled to her until she forgave him and they married. But then whenever he got angry he would do it again. And again. And everytime she forgave him he would become more and more likely to beat her 😭😭 never marry someone who exhibits signs of violence when angry!!! Trust me bbgrl. My grandma is still married to my grandpa and she is always telling me on the side to be careful about who you marry and that she loves my grandpa but he wasn't raised right, giving him excuses. Don't be my grandma 😭😭 you deserve better mamas. The racism is a character flaw that can be fixed even though I wouldn't date a racist but if your willing to shape someone into something better no blame here. But the violence and disrespect for you as a women is a thing that's imbedded in their bones 😭😭 please don't take them back!!

i need you guys to talk to me cause i am so close to texting my ex back and getting back with him.

This author is such a dangerous writer because they can make people feel thing fr. I was so enveloped in their story that my eyes swelled up 😭 Although sakuna is slightly out of the ordinary towards the middle, for all any of us know that's how he acts when he's in love. Because we've never ever ever seen him in love lol. Thank you so much for writing this!! My favorite part is when she gives him the rotten tomatoes 😭😭 and then later on as he's falling on his knees to see her better and so she can see him without having to look up- perfection omg. Thank you again! I hope to become as good of a writer eventually-

𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘪 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘮

summary: you see him a handful of times down by the river, washing off the bloodstains from his clothing and hands. you wonder to yourself how he could look so human in such a monstrous act. once he sees you he can’t get you rid of his mind.

paring: sukuna x f!reader

genre: angst, soft love, little bits of fluff, angst with no happy ending

warnings: blood, gruesome death, talks of sex and taking virginity, character death

word count: 7k+

jjk masterlist

—

—

“Do you intend on staring the entire time?”

The hair on your neck rose, your breath catching in your throat as you hear him call out.

Surely he couldn’t have seen you. You had tried to hide decently well into the background of the forest.

“Your act of concealment is rather pitiful, you know.” His voice disparaged you once more, and from the sliver of opening the bushes allowed you saw him look over his shoulder, staring directly at you as he raised an eyebrow.

“Come out, human.” You, for the first time, hear the real command in his voice, the one that terrified the men in your village, the ones who came back from battle and laid awake at night with it echoing in the solitude of their minds.

You gave it a couple seconds, and when you saw him vanish from the spot he had been near the river bank you panicked, looking around everywhere to see where he had gone.

You felt a rush of air wisp behind you, and you whipped your head around to see a large hand circle around your throat, long, claw-like nails digging into your skin as he effortlessly raised you from the ground.

You felt the voice in your head mock you for your stupidity, the idea alone of spying on the curse everybody feared an idiotic idea. But you were curious, too curious for your own good, and the first time you saw him you were fascinated.

Here he seemed like the monster everybody made him out to be. Blood from his previous victims splattered across his face, red eyes boring into yours as he assessed the person in front of him, large muscles flexing as he turned you around, gawking at you like an animal in a cage.

But the first time you saw him, he drew you in, and perhaps that would be the sole reason for your demise. The sun shone shined splendidly that day, reflecting off the water beneath him, his skin shining bright as he delicately cleaned his dirtied clothes in peace.

You hadn’t meant to run into him that day, but you couldn’t rest seeing him act so human, so normally, after every rumor, you had heard.

You now wish you had listened to them.

“You’ve been here before, haven’t you?” He cocked his head to the side, eyebrow perched as you meekly grabbed at his hand, begging him to loosen his grip.

His eyes trailed down to your gaping mouth, eyes widening with the lack of air, and his grip loosed, dropping you roughly to the ground, giving you a couple of seconds to failingly come up on your arms, coughing as you rubbed weakly at your neck, trying to ease to soreness away.

He dropped down to his knees, crouching down at your side as he waited for you to recover, in no rush as you hacked away.

“I asked you a question.” He reminded you and you fearfully looked up, eyes filled with tears as you weakly nodded, your chapped lips trembling in dread.

“Is that a yes?” His lips upturned in a small and taunting smile, his sharpened teeth gleaming back at you as you gulped, clearing your throat as you tried your best to respond.

“Yes, yes,” You looked at the grass beneath you, anything but the figure of death in front of you, “I have been here before, my lord.“

He kept his eyes locked on yours, his look never shifting from one to the other, keeping natural as if to frighten you even more.

Would anybody care if you had been killed out in the woods today? Would anybody come looking if you went missing?

"Is it you who’s been watching me these past weeks?” He asked, and even on the ground sitting in front of you he shadowed your crumpled form, and you wiped some of the slobber from your lips before you spoke again.

“I apologize, my lord.” Your fingers shook far too much, could he tell? Could he see that your blood was freezing under your skin?

“May I ask what’s intrigued you so much to return?” You feel this breath on your cheeks, his nose close to yours as he leaned in, the air in your lungs seizing as you held it all to yourself.

Your fingers itched to grab the small bundle you had brought with you, the one you had failed to give these past weeks.

He watched the movement, his eyes quickly darting over to the small package concealed in a piece of dirtied cloth.

“Is this yours?” He reached over and grabbed it, examining its shabby shape as you meekly nodded once more, your mouth too dry to give him a proper response.

He glanced back over to you, truly studying you. Your clothes were dirty, mud and dirt clinging to your skin, holes littering the soles of your shoes. Your hair was clumped together and nails were outgrown from their beds.

He had been familiarized with the nearby village, having ransacked it multiple times. He knew the women well, their appearances were far more important than anything else. If you were from there it was obvious you were one of their outcasts, if the skin clinging to your bones would say anything.

He kept an eye on you as you coughed again, blood specking the palm of your hand as you wiped it on your pants, embarrassed and more honestly terrified to look at him, opting to gape at the ground.

He turned the lump of fabric around in his hand, weighing it and sniffing it as if to sense what was inside. A foul smell flew under his nose, and he winced as he quickly went to open it, his inquisitiveness taking over.

The fabric was flimsy and wasn’t tied hard enough, falling away as he peeled it back.

Small tomatoes and pieces of lettuce tumbled out, some parts of them molded as they fell to his feet.

“I apologize, my lord, they are not of the best quality.” You explained and he scoffed, taking the small vegetables and squishing it between his fingers, turning back to you as he took you by the collar, lifting it up so that you would be face to face with him.

“Were those for me?” His head tilted again, a small pout overtaking his smile as he watched you struggle to come up with words to say.

“Have you been watching me these past few weeks just to give me rotten vegetables?”

He watched in clear amusement as you sniffled, your eyes squeezed shut as you nodded, hands quivering as you kept them balled by your side.

“Did that really sound like a good idea to you?” His grip on your collar tightened, and you gasp as he lifted you once more, your feet dangling as you tried to get back down.

Sukuna looked at you, the tears welling in your eyes, the tomatoes, and lettuce as his feet looking back up at him as he strangled you, your fingers weakling attempting to grab at his clenching fists.

“I’m s-sorry,” You choked out, “It’s all I h-had.” Some bloodied spit landed on his face and he grimaced, dropping you immediately to wipe it off.

You couldn’t muster up a groan as you felt your ankle crack from the pressure, only having enough strength to try to crawl away.

This isn’t how you wanted to die, not alone and at the hands of the curse of death himself. Not when you wanted to see the countryside, to sail in those things they called ships. Not on the ground of a forest, you stumbled upon one day, your kind heart killing you eventually.

And all Sukuna did was watch the pitiful scene, eyebrows drawing together as he saw your crumpled form sit at the stump of a tree, your ankle bent the wrong way, your eyes barely open as you went in and out of consciences.

Who were you? Surely not a girl of any importance. He would have already bedded you had you been one. You were poor, perhaps worse than that, yet you managed to bring him portions of your food.

Even in the coldest of winters, he had watched the village chief struggle to give up a third of his meals to honor him, yet an insignificant girl like you who obviously needed the wasted vegetables more than anything was offering it to him.

Should he kill you here? Make it painless? It seemed that your health was already declining, your bloody coughs enough proof for him. He’d be putting you out of your misery if he did it now.

But walking towards you, his nails turned into the claws he was so used to, kneeling down once more to your slumped form, he couldn’t seem to do it.

You couldn’t even lift your head to beg for your life, but you tried to bring up your fist that paled in size to his, curling it around one of his fingers as you tried to push him away.

And his nails were right there, right at the base of your throat, ready to slit, but he felt the little bit of heat as you sickly gripped him, the little tear droplets wetting his skin as he retracted his hand.

He stared at the top of your head, watching as your hand fell to your side, your body too weak to keep it up anymore.

And he grumbled to himself, saying things such that he wasn’t fucking enough people and his mind was going crazy, cupping your knees as he lifted you gently up, supporting your head with the palm of his hand as he brought you back to the village.

He could have killed you even then as he was entering the gates, but you had held onto his shirt so tightly that he could barely lift his finger to do such a thing.

—

Keep reading