What Do You Think Spiders Relationship With The McCoskers Was Like (Nash, Mary, And The Boys)? Spider

What do you think Spider’s relationship with the McCoskers was like (Nash, Mary, and the boys)? Spider is apparently so desperate for a family that even Quaritch is considered a better candidate for a father than Nash so I’m assuming from that and what we’ve seen in the comics that it’s very negative, possibly bordering on abuse and neglect.

Imma preface this by saying I've only read The High Ground volume 1, so I don't know any of the background info from vol 2 and 3 about the McCoskers, however, I think I know everything I want to about them 😌 (tw abuse)

I hate to say it, but I think they were pretty awful to him. Mary and Nash were his adoptive parents, they wee the people who were supposed to love him, care for him, treat him as their own... and yet we never, not once, heard Spider even mention them. He acts like they don't exist, and for all intents and purposes, they don't.

Something must have gone extremely wrong for Spider to feel so 'parentless' despite having the McCoskers. Hell, we even see Norm and Max take a more active role in parenting him than his supposed family. Because that's what an adoptive family is: a family. True and total, despite not being blood related.

Which makes the fact that it failed even more heart-wrenching. I think this is strong evidence that points towards abuse. Spider is clearly desperate for parental figures in his life, and obviously he's not getting it from Nash and Mary. To me what makes the most sense if that they were abusive in the way they emotionally treated Spider.

they never wanted him around

they only took him because there was literally no one else

when they fell pregnant with their own kids, a lot of the caregiving fell on other adults' shoulders

they always favoured the boys more than spider

they changed spider's room into a nursery for their first child, without a plan for where spider would sleep when it arrived

the scientists were able to find him a spare room in Hell's Gate a bit further away from where the McCoskers live - it used to be a store cupboard but with a bit of help from Norm spider makes it look okay

neglect and emotional abuse take their toll on spider over the years and he comes to see Nash especially as just a person who was supposed to love him, but doesn't

he never called them mom or dad

the other scientists see what is going on but what can they do? they can't take spider in themselves

when spider gets back from the forest after a long day spent with the Omatikaya, the McCoskers just ignore his return.

"You're late Spider. Should we even bother saving dinner for you?"

"Perhaps you should ask to stay the night with Kiri and Lo'ak?"

"You got hurt? Go to the med bay, they'll sort you out."

Eventually, he just stops letting them know he's back safe, and they start to go days without even seeing each other (age 7-8)

Nash in particular starts to resent spider - "what are you doing here boy, we've just put the kids to bed!"

no one tells spider to brush his hair, take showers, brush his teeth etc.

spider takes meals where he can get them - he always misses dinner with the McCoskers because they eat early before putting the boys to bed

it's how he started to eat with the Sullys

he sometimes pops in for lunch with the science guys - he knows what time they break and also that the McCoskers aren't there

spider is never interested in playing with the McCosker's other kids (idk in my headcanon he is the only human child on Pandora even though that goes against established canon) because he would always get the blame if they got hurt or upset

the favouritism was so real that he started avoiding the family altogether

the McCoskers were obviously fine with this

Overall, terrible, terrible treatment of a child who needed a family. Even if that family was just one person. The McCoskers were chosen because they were a young couple who wanted kids of their own (they saw spider as 'practice'), and who were deemed 'reliable' - not because they actually wanted him or were emotionally available. It was a collective failure on all of the humans at Hell's Gate, because they all failed to step in and change the situation when it became clear the adoption wasn't working. Multiple failures all around.

And so, when Spider meets Quaritch - an adult whose singular parental focus is on him... who is constantly checking on his wellbeing, who gets mad when Spider puts himself in harm's way... it becmes abundantly clear why Spider falls for Quaritch as a father figure.