Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 12

Red Hood Incorrect Quotes Pt 12

Jason: Do I have any regrets? *pulls out long list*

Jason: "Achieving consciousness-" that was a big one.

Jason: If I was a bird I'd fly into a ceiling fan.

Jason: I think a woman should be able to kill one man a month.

Starting a new Billy Batson fic! Starring Selina Kyle!

Chapters: 1/?

Fandom: Shazam! | Captain Marvel (Comics), Catwoman (Comics), Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences 

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply 

Relationships: Billy Batson & Selina Kyle, Billy Batson & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Selina Kyle 

Characters: Selina Kyle, Billy Batson, Tim Drake, Leslie Thompkins, Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd 

Additional Tags: character tags are not extensive, Billy Batson-centric, Selina Kyle POV, Billy Batson is Captain Marvel, Jason Todd is Robin, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Tim Drake is Catlad | Stray, Alternate universe - canon divergent, Canon-Typical Violence, secret identity shenanigans, so so SO much of that, Injury Recovery, Medical Conditions, Medical Inaccuracies, Billy Batson Has Lichtenberg Figures, Billy Batson is a little shit, Billy Batson is Allergic to Being Watched Over By Adults, tim drake is not a stalker, Jack and Janet Drake are Not Fanon Levels of Neglectful, Billy Batson and Captain Marvel are Separate Personalities, no beta we die like a cat with eight lives to spare 

Series: Part 2 of Tossing Billy Batson at adults like a very round plushie

Summary:

Selina Kyle has a major score in the works, one that will have her set for years to come. But those plans become a lot more complicated when she finds a mysterious kid who’s been struck by lightning on a clear night. Thanks to her sympathetic streak, Selina finds herself stuck taking care of this kid while he recovers from his injuries. She’s trying to keep her illegal activities secret from him, he’s clearly keeping a ton of secrets from her, including his real name. Each of them is roping the other into their own brands of trouble; who knows if they’ll be able to handle it all?

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

In the future, when Damian is taller than Tim

Tim, sighing: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Damian: *crouches down*

Jason: *kneels down*

Dick: *sits on the floor*

Tim: I hate all of you.

I was bored in class

If I was Bruce it would drive me absolutely crazy that I couldn't complain to Alfred about my kids:

Bruce: "Alfred, you won't believe what Dick did. He's in space again! He didn't even give me a heads up or--"

Alfred, drinking tea: "The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree--"

"Alfred--"

"I suppose it'll be twelve long years before we see him, no messages, not even a postcard."

Or

"Alfred, I think Jason's sick. Tell Leslie to tell him to take a night off."

"A night off you say, Master Bruce?"

"Don't start."

Or

"Alfred, why the hell is there a tank in the backyard?"

"I tried telling them not to Master Bruce, but you yourself bragged about the ability to survive Houdini's act."

There is no scenario the kids can wind up in where Alfred is even halfway sympathetic to Bruce.