Me? Sexualizing My Own Trauma To Get Attention? Its More Likely Than You Think.

me? sexualizing my own trauma to get attention? it’s more likely than you think.

"He’s a god of sins but Isabel continues to bow in prayer to him, taking every inch of him in her until he moves her and fucks her against the backboard of the couch"

if they wouldn’t kill god for you then what’s the point

How does dabi drink??? Doesn't the liquid just fall in between the staples on the sides of his mouth????

i remember i once heard this dude question if maybe the reason god kicked man out of the garden of eden wasn't to punish us, but so that our knowledge of good and evil would *matter*, we'd need firsthand experience with suffering to TRULY understand why making others suffer is wrong

but in a way that kinda put us a step above god, who is a being of lawful morality but had never suffered himself. (the guy also proposed that maybe part of god WANTED us to surpass him, that's why he made us. that's why he put the fruit so close within reach.)

god knew his law, but had never suffered or felt the consequences of his law. so that's why he thought flooding the earth or condemning people to hell was fine.

the dude left off there but it got me thinking about the crucifixion. because that's when god DID suffer. and after he suffered, he granted us mercy.

i never understood the idea that hw had to sacrifice himself to pay off a debt that we owed HIM and that HE decided the punishment for. why not just wave his hands and say we're forgiven?

but the implications of this. the crucifixion didn't redeem *us*, didn't make us worthy of mercy. no, it redeemed *god*, taught him how to GIVE mercy.

and idk to what extent i believe this interpretation, or how much i even believe the book it's based on. but wow is that interpretation weirdly freeing to consider, after a lifetime of being told that all that suffering was my fault

An idea that’s been stuck in my head for awhile is that Class 1-A + teachers get stuck in a quirk. It takes any group stuck in it, and one at a time they have to attempt a trial. If any one person passes, then they go free. If nobody passes, they die. The others may watch, but not interact with the person currently undergoing their trial. The rules for how to win the trial are not explained.

The order is random and Kirishima is first. There’s a kid crying and scared of some bullies. Kirishima promises he’ll protect the child from them, but quickly discovers he can’t. They can only advise the child on what to do or not to do. They cannot physically intervene.

Knowing that, Kirishima advises the child to fight back against the bullies. He fails his trial.

Izuku attempts the trial next. His child is upset because a friend has been saying mean things to them. Izuku tells them that they ought to confront the person and stop being friends with them.

Izuku fails his trial.

Several more students go. All fail, despite trying different routes.

Aizawa is in the middle, and his child is grieving over loss. He makes it farther than a lot of his students, but fails when he tells them to let go. That once someone is gone, they’re gone forever.

A few more go. Shouto makes it longer than some of the others, but he fails too.

Then it’s Katsuki’s turn.

Only his situation isn’t like the others. The others had playgrounds, schools, bedrooms. His child is in a cell. Their arms are bound, and they’re woozy. They don’t know where they are or how they got here. Katsuki, in his ghostly form, takes a look around the room and sits down next to them.

“Should I try to fight? Or should I wait for someone to save me?” the child asks him.

Katsuki doesn’t answer right off the bat.

“Who knows you’re gone right now?”

The child thinks about it for a moment

“No one.” They admit. “My parents are on a trip. It’s summer. I have a friend- maybe they noticed- but they might just think I’m busy.”

Katsuki nods, his eyes are tired, so very tired, but he doesn’t lower his head. He meets the ghostly child’s gaze head on.

“You’re gonna have to fight kid. There’s no one coming to save you.”

The child looks away, but they nod, understanding. Everyone else is fucking horrified, how could Katsuki say that to a child? But he doesn’t fail the trial. Not then, and not as it progresses through scene after scene. Katsuki keeps the child moving forward, with straight, practical advice, and that one core idea.

There’s nobody coming to save them. He can’t save them. They have to save themself.

The child comes to a balcony, and there’s no way out but to jump. A raging ocean below them, the angry kidnappers behind the doors. Katsuki is standing beside them as they stare out over the ocean, to the distant shore.

“I don’t know if I can swim that far.”

“If you jump, you’re gonna hafta.”

The child looks out for a moment longer before turning to look up at Katsuki. This time, there’s something different in their eyes, something final, as they stand on the edge of the abyss.

“What did you do?”

And that’s the moment when it clicks together for everyone else, horror looming over them. Katsuki only snorts.

“Me? I jumped and I never looked back.”

The kid nods, and then all of the sudden they’re different. They are not just any child anymore. They’re a younger Katsuki. Wearing the same clothes he was wearing that day, an outfit that Izuku remembers Katsuki used to love until one day he didn’t. And he never knew why until-

Until now.

“Okay.”

Katsuki’s voice is high pitched, but it still his as he nods. That was the key it seemed. The scene fades out, and it’s just the two of them left standing there. The trial has been passed. They both know it has been, but they’re given a moment longer. It’s the younger one who speaks first.

“In the end, we made it home, right?”

“Fuck yeah we did.”

“But- I remember- I promised. Some day I would strong enough- strong enough that they’d never be able to take me again.”

The older Katsuki’s momentary surge of pride falters, his eyes falling.

“Does it get better? Does it stop? If I just keep going- if I keep swimming- if I get strong, then will it be enough?”

That takes a much longer time for Katsuki to answer, and he heaves a sigh.

“Not any time soon. I still remember this one. It wasn’t the worst one, not by a longshot. This was just the first time. There’s gonna be more. They fucking suck.”

“But it gets better? Right? It has to?”

Red eyes look away before he takes in a deep breath, resummoning his courage and looking back.

“God I fucking hope so. I’m fucking trying. But so far- well I can’t say it stops. Who knows though, maybe the last one really was the last one. But I thought that two years ago too, and look where that got me.”

His child self looks down, kicking his little feet. Katsuki remembers those sneakers. They were ruined after this.

“If I don’t know if it gets better, then why bother?”

It’s a loaded question. Katsuki knows the answer to this one though, he doesn’t hesitate. It’s what’s kept him going all these years.

“Listen, when it comes down to it, you’ve got two options. You can keep swimming for shore, or you can let yourself sink. And who knows, maybe you’ll never actually get to the shore. Maybe you’re going to be stuck in this ocean forever. But if you let yourself drown, you’ve got no chance of getting out. If you keep swimming, there’s a chance. Dunno how good the odds are, dunno how much further it is, dunno if I’m strong enough to make it. I’m gonna keep swimming though, because if there is even a chance of me making it out of this, then I’m going to go after it with everything I’ve fucking got. That’s the only real option.”

There’s a pause, and Katsuki’s gaze is firm, but not unsympathetic. It’s hard. He knows it is.

“Besides, I’m not going to just give up and let those bastards win. Katsuki Bakugou isn’t a fucking quitter, you got that kid?”

And his child self gives him a smile and a nod, and both are real, even if little red eyes are still watery and the smile is weak at best.

“Got it. Loud and clear.”

The scene is back. They’re on the balcony again.

No more words, there’s none left for them to say.

Just a quickly exchanged look, a nod. And the child is jumping off to the dangerous ocean depths below. Katsuki watches, face carefully blank.

The quirk shatters when he hits the water, everyone being freed at once. Katsuki wakes up the most violently of any of them, gasping for air that takes him too long to find. They’re worried, they’re so worried, but he brushes them off.

It’s not the time to be worried. It’s the time to keep swimming forward until they reach shore. And then he’ll handle the rest of this shit.

After all, if he doesn’t, then he’d have no chance at all. That’s just not a fucking option.