Hey Asshole! You Lifted Up The Rock And Now I Have To Scuttle! Motherfucker!

hey asshole! you lifted up the rock and now I have to scuttle! motherfucker!

"you're so weird" i was trapped in a crystal by a wizard for 10000 years give me a break

aita for biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you biting you

empiremarks concept: bound to the land!

MAN FUCK YOU DEAD END PARANORMAL PARK SEASON 2 MAKING ME CRY AND SHIT

Pretty good season y’all should def watch it

Something big is happening in Empires & Hermitcraft. Let's discuss! Specifically, Grian, Smallishbeans, LDshadowlady and Fwhip's episodes the week of October 9, 2022. I've clipped all the relevant scenes down below. I'm very interested in corrections and commentary!

[Note: They all ended their episodes at a portal with weird stuff happening, so if you're looking to check videos for rift lore, maybe skip to the ends.]

- October 9 - Grian finds a button in front of his Hermitcraft rift. It says "Begin?" Grumbot[1]  gives him a message that says "Push the button". He tries not to, but eventually gives in. (This is typical Grian behavior.)  (HC 9: Ep 23)

- October 11 - Lizzie finds a portal on Empires that bears some suspicious resemblance to Grian's rift. Hoping she might get crystals, she sends a fox named Gary through on a minecart to investigate, and bring back "lots of crystals, the shinier the better". They hit the portal, Gary goes through, the minecart doesn't. (Is Gary a modded villager? That's lizzie's thing?) (Empires s2, Ep 11)

- October 13 

(1) Joel spies the portal from his bridge, having heard about it already. He says he'll send something through because Lizzie already did. He sends one of his Jimmy dolls - it's important to remember the doll is named "Smallishbeans's Head". There's no minecart, he just chucks it in.  (Empires s2, ep 19) (2) Fwhip hears an explosion and finds the portal, decides to not engage with any of it. Later, Lizzie comes to Fwhip for help rescuing Gary, and they send Fwhip's creature, "Sniff, Explorer of the Deep", through the portal on a minecart to get Gary. I have no idea what kind of creature Sniff is. Some modded goblin horse I get. Snort's older brother. idk. (Empires S2 : Building a GOBLIN LAVA FORGE, because he can't be bothered to use episode numbers I guess?)

Maybe it's not Grian's rift, maybe Hermitcraft and Empires aren't connected, but that would be WILD. If you don't know, Grian is IRL friends with Lizzie and Joel, so them collaborating makes a lot of sense. Sausage is having big flashbacks to Empires s1 and Afterlife SMP. Gem and FalseSymmetry are in both Empires & Hermitcraft, and False's plot is about having woken up in a strange place. Pearl is in Hermitcraft, and was in Empires s1, and there's deep lore about her that I'm not caught up on, but she already exists between series, she sent Oli (theorionsound) from Afterlife SMP to Empires season 2, from her base in the sky. She's been Watching everything! She's a Saint? A Goddess? (I am going to catch up, I only finished emp1 this month.) And I'm told her afterlife/empires sky base is her hermitcraft s8 base. 

The Jimmy toy looks like Jimmy and has Joel's name. Their Double Life soulmates are in Hermitcraft. I saw a comic once that had Tango finding a Jimmy doll and it feeling familiar. Thus, I am now insane and will be at least until empires s2 is over, probably forever.

Here's some videos and some transcripts, but I've been at this two hours and I'm not transcribing them all, sorry!

(I will hopefully keep updating as things develop, but no promises. Probably with less transcription. I'll tag them all #mcyt crossover, because who knows how deep this will go.)

Joel transcript, at 13:26 - Joel spies the portal. "and whilst we're here, look at that. that's lore right there. weird lore stuff's happening on the server guys. what is it? I don't know. But I saw that Lizzie put something in it, so we should go put something in it as well. So what better than this little toy man here? Well, the toy version of the toy man. Have fun little toy-- oh, it's missed. Let's try again." [toy name says "Smallishbeans's Head"] "Have fun little toy man! And just like that, he's gone. I hope he's okay, but if he's not okay, then that's fine as well to be honest.

Fwhip transcript

11:57 - Fwhip says Jimmy is toying with his heart. </3

12:00 - Fwhip hears an explosion. "What? Bridge? What is (x3) that? I'm sorry but this is brand new. How did this pop up here out of the wall? [confused goblin noises] You know what, if I've learned anything being underground in the goblin cavern it's don't dig where you're not supposed to be digging. I'm going to be leaving that as if I've never saw it [things about copper and cave safety] spooky things are happening". 

15:30 - (too long to transcribe) Lizzie blows the emergency horn, says there's a situation with Gary, the greatest explorer who ever lived in Animalia. She's upset that Gary hasn't come back, Fwhip tells her that he heard an explosion earlier, Lizzie is more upset, wants a rescue mission. Fwhip says his empire's greatest explorer, "Sniff, Explorer of the Deep" has just returned home, [they laugh heartily]. Lizzie takes Fwhip and Sniff to the "crystal cave". Fwhip says maybe Gary did the explosion. Lizzie says Gary had a very specific mission (get crystals) and he'd never stray from the mission protocols. They tell Sniff to find and bring back Gary. Sniff spins around a lot, because he's excited for a job. They put him on a minecart, Lizzie makes a Harry Potter reference (which she and Joel do all the time), and the episode cuts right there, no outro. 

Time stamped links to the original videos (give them a like!): 

Joel https://youtu.be/rUmWjXaJGcw?t=805

Lizzie: https://youtu.be/bunhaERjxmE?t=533 Fwhip: https://youtu.be/jI3bYNJXuVs?t=717 (second part is at 15:30)

Grian: it's the whole episode https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Onsbmy3r70g

[1] Grumbot is... in HC s7 Grian and Mumbo he made a robot son to help Mumbo win the mayoral election, then they lied to him and sai that he won, and put him in a (nice) box. Now there's a grumbot here and maybe he's from an AU and he says creepy things like "My Grian was sorry too" and I've only watched bits of all this.