Gweeistermybeloved - Servant

wip Wednesday #1!!

t4t komahina won,, so here it is!! all of this is the first draft so it's a bit rough,, but I might remake this one if it's popular

plus I have another t4t oneshot I'm working on,, I will post that one eventually

slight warning for internalized homophobia

Hinata huffed, tightness straining across his chest. His shirt wasn’t helping the feeling, damp and rough against his skin. God, he was getting dizzy–

Fuck.

Hinata lifted the bar one last time, setting it on the rack with a sharp clang. He felt disgusting, but he wasn't even halfway through his usual workout. All in all, he had to finish twelve more reps.

“Great job, Komaeda!” 

Nidai’s voice rang throughout the weight room. Hinata froze and sat up, hurriedly adjusting his shirt. Hinata fixed it right as Nidai ran around the corner, laughing loudly.

“Hinata! What brings you here?!” Nidai grinned, popping his knuckles. “Were you planning to join our training routine?”

“No, I just decided to work out. Sometimes you just feel like it, you know?” Hinata breathed out slowly, trying to regulate his heart rate.

“Of course! Exercise is great for you!”

Komaeda walked into the room right as Nidai struck a pose, nearly smacking him in the face.

It's fine, obviously, since they were both – Hinata screwed his eyes shut, hands tightening against the chair. He couldn't even bring himself to say it. Surely that's what it was, right? He couldn't be a boy, no matter how comfortable and light he felt while dressing to look more masculine. And Komaeda… well, Hinata wasn't sure. What was he? Hinata knew that Komaeda used he/him pronouns, but what…?

Shit, this is wrong. I can't think like that.

After a moment of silence, Hinata spoke.

“Well,” he started, voice cracking awkwardly. “I should probably ask you something.”

“Mm?” Komaeda didn't look up from his book. “What is it?”

“Firat, can I have your attention for once?” 

“Why should I give you even a fraction of it?” He flipped a page, nose twitching. “Why would I give you anything?”

Komaeda tucked a piece of hair behind his ear, almost delicately. It was nearly ironic. Komaeda, being delicate? Hinata knew better than anyone about just how much Komaeda was willing to do for the things he believed in. 

“This is serious.” Hinata scowled and forcefully slammed Komaeda's book shut. “We need to talk.”

“I need you to shut up, Hinata.”

Hinata gestured towards Komaeda. “What exactly are you?”

“Compared to you I'm nearly a god, but in the grand scheme of things I'm merely a pathetic worm. To put it simply, you're below one of the worst people in–”

Hinata waved his hand, flicking Komaeda in the arm lightly. Komaeda hissed and smacked him back.

“That's not what I'm talking about, Komaeda. I mean, what gender are you?”

“Oh.” Komaeda stopped and looked at him, pursing his lips. “Why does it matter?”

“You keep– stop responding with that! I'm not going to force you to tell me but I want something, a ‘I don't want to talk about it,' or anything else, please.” Hinata breathed out a heavy sigh between his teeth.

“‘Please?’” Komaeda smirked, reaching for his book again. “I didn't expect you to start begging.”

Komaeda flipped back to his page, settling into the cushions with a smile. Hinata obviously couldn't get anything else out of him, so he did the same and picked up his own textbook.

Aside from the terrible start, it was a nice day. The winter air was still trying to creep in through the windows, but the library held fast. It always managed to stay exactly the same temperature throughout every season, but was reserved mainly for the ultimates. Hinata’s money was probably being funneled into it. The thought made his anger flare.

Eventually, finally, Komaeda spoke.

“It’s really not my right to tell you, but I'm a trans guy.”

“You are?” Hinata looked at him, surprised. “You, uh, didn't have to tell me that you're trans, you could've said you're a guy, but I'm glad you trust me with that. A lot of people act strange once they know, but I promise I won't.”

“I got the surgery too, which I'm still upset about. It was a terribly selfish act and I had no right to indulge in that.” Komaeda continued, talking without regard for Hinata’s own words.

“Komaeda.” Hinata stared the man down, resisting the urge to shove his book down again. “Getting top surgery isn't a crime. It's good that you chose to take care of yourself.”

“Coincidentally, a surge of bad luck was enough to teach me a lesson! I was hit by a truck the very next day.” Komeada flipped a page in his book, face perfectly calm. “I broke three ribs and cracked my left tibia. It's one of the reasons I struggle with walking nowadays.”

“...Holy shit, what do I even–”

“So, are you happy now? Getting an ultimate to spill his life story?”

“Yes, I'm obviously glad I know what your gender is. Can you promise me something?”

Komaeda sighed. “I can't promise you anything, but tell me anyway.”

“...Fine. I’m trans too, Komaeda.”

The room went dead quiet, shadowed by the fact that they were the only ones in the library. Komaeda looked confused– curious, maybe? Hinata looked away, directing his attention to his book. His fingers dug into the pages, trembling. 

“I couldn't have deduced that if I tried, Hinata.” Komaeda kept his gaze steady, paying attention for once in his life. “I really could've sworn you were a cis man.”

“Oh.” Hinata smiled shakily, feeling warmth bloom in his chest. “You too. You've always seemed like some sort of fairy, I've never been able to tell what your gender was.”

“Fairy…” Komaeda trailed off. “I've never heard that before.”

“Well, now you have. Congratulations.” Hinata responded with a dry smile. His phone buzzed and he checked it, thumbing over the faint cracks in the screen. It was getting dark, and curfew was drawing uncomfortably near. 

He stood up, bones popping as he gathered his materials. He shoved his books back into his bag and stood, but Komaeda grabbed his arm, squeezing it with a strange sort of strength.

“Before you go,” Komaeda breathed out. “I appreciate you telling me this.”

“Yeah, it's no problem.”

Probably. God only knows what Komaeda might do with this.

Hinata yanked his arm out of Komaeda's grasp, fuming silently.

“Goodbye, Hinata. Stay safe!” Komaeda chimed happily, waving his hand. “Try not to get beaten by the guards again!”

Hinata grit his teeth and walked off, pointedly trying to ignore the feeling of Komaeda’s eyes on his back.

he's so silly i love him,, thank you so so much

@gweeistermybeloved

I hope you enjoy my incredible effects

As a somewhat new fan, I find it fascinating how Servant and Izuru are almost always represented as A Pair in fanart… when in reality, as far as I know, they never interacted in canon except on the boat to Jabberwock Island lmao

(imo, in the anime, Izuru removing the Despairs’ memories of himself is specifically so that they could get that Nagito/Izuru scene without retconing the conversation in sdr2 where Nagito explicitly says he never met Izuru)

Like I’m definitely not complaining, the interactions and the fanarts are super entertaining, and expanding on what canon offers is the heart of fandom, I love it, but it IS fascinating to see how they consistently end up represented together when nothing in canon supports it

Occasionally I will remember that there is a fic on AO3 in which primarily Hajime Hinata has sex with a mini fridge and many other things occur. Then I will proceed to want to not exist anymore.

ice king,, what did they do to you