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“They may be called the Palace Guard, the City Guard, or the Patrol. Whatever the name, their purpose in any work of heroic fantasy is identical: it is, round about Chapter Three (or ten minutes into the film) to rush into the room, and at the behest of their lord, impregnate the hero.

This book is dedicated to those fine men.”

I’ve had enough of you… GUARDS! Impregnate this man.

Wonderful, the Flatline said, I never did like to do anything simple when I could do it ass-backwards.

William Gibson, Neuromancer (via jankenpo)

Dad: So are you glad to be back at school?

Me: Well, I am definitely back at school

Consider: A Sherman tank with a bulldozer scoop at the front. Now, to ask the age old question; is it a weaponized bulldozer or a bulldozerized weapon? In this essay I will