I Swear, Every Drunken Whore Young Lady In Courtenay Place At 2am On A Saturday Night Is Doing This Already.

I swear, every drunken whore young lady in Courtenay Place at 2am on a Saturday night is doing this already.

When I was little, I wanted to be a Bond girl. Now that I'm older, I want to be a Bond Villain. They have so much more fun and you know it. Luckily, there are characters in pop culture that are managing to be both a Bond girl and a Bond Villain (BTW - I always capitalise the word "Villain", especially Bond Villains. Why? Because they've earned it!).

Watch the video above. There - wasn't that awesome? The clip comes from the film Day Watch and the female that you were watching in awe is Alice. She's everything that's right with naughty Russian witches. The hell with that chick from The Matrix - I wanna be Alice! She's the right mix of Bond girl (smart, strong, sexy, female) and Bond Villain ("bad", awesome as hell, serious skills, will hurt you).

Day Watch is the sequel to Night Watch, and both are based on books of the same name. Watch the films first (you actually have to watch these in the right order. The second one just won't make sense without the back story of the first) then read the books. They are all awesome. Just like Alice.

No more smoking for prisoners!

Judith Collins is either a complete badass or is on a suicide mission. It's hard to tell at this point.

Collins announced yesterday that smoking is to be banned in prisons from 1 July 2011. This will be known as the day when prisoners all over the country start experiencing nicotine withdrawal symptoms. Damn, I would not want to be anywhere near a prison that week.

Prisoners and smoking - it's a natural combination. I know this is true, because I see it on films and TV. And they never lie to us! Collins seems to have other ideas.

Why is it that every other workplace can be smokefree except for Corrections? I find that unfair

Say what? Man, the prison guards probably have a very different definition of 'unfair'.

I'm a fan of banning smoking from the workplace. Banning smoking from, say, the offices of an accountancy firm is kinda sucky, but you'll live. Office workers will bitch to hell and back if you ban smoking. In extreme cases, there may even be an email petition but they will eventually step into line or find another job. Banning smoking from a prison is hella sucky and you are almost guaranteed a riot. Shit will get real.

In all seriousness, I understand banning smoking from inside prison cells. That's all cool. But why aren't there smoking areas for those who do smoke? There are smoking areas in other workplaces (usually in the parking lot out the back or something of that description). I'm sure that it would be easier to manage if there were options available to those who wanted to carry on inhaling the sweet, smoky taste of nicotine. Of course, I could be wrong about all of this. I'm not a politician/almighty decision maker and I don't need to reassert how much of a hardass I am.

Like the McChrystal fracas, this isn't about health. It's about politics. Any idiot can see that. Yes, it's important that we respect the health and rights of non-smoking prisoners and employees. I totally agree with this. I just think that this could've been done in a smarter way. A way that ensures the prison guards don't end up shitting themselves on 1 July next year. 

wetheurban:

I’m 15.

I run a successful fashion blog (almost 10,000 strong!).

I’m coming out with an online magazine in August with some pretty nice names featured in it. 

I’ve made over $400 on the internet so far.

I’ve been fucked over, lied to, and shot down.

I never gave up.

And I’ll keep going until you see a WeTheUrban store in your mall! I wanted to share this with you all to show that ANYONE can do anything if they put there mind to it. Entrepreneurs are the new rockstars! The Youth Is Starting To Change.

Sigh...

Last night, in the middle of my Bikram Yoga class (because apparently I'm part-hippy), a memory floated up from my subconscious. Which was useful as it distracted me from throwing up in my mouth in the middle of a crappy Yoga pose.

Anyways, that memory is from when I was around 11 years old. I'd moved from Auckland city to a backwater town in the middle of Taranaki. I did not fit in there and I still don't. They think I'm a snobby bitch who's too clever and sarcastic for her own good. And I'm cool with that because I am, especially when compared with them. Contemptuous much? Yes. But what did you expect? The following goes some way to explaining why I feel this way about that town.

So, I was 11 years old and on the cusp of becoming the person I am today. We had been asked to list all the continents, or something like that. I forget. It was something to do with continents, so meh.  One of the girls sitting next to me saw the list and showed it to a whole bunch of other girls. Soon, there were peals of laughter. Why? Because I had apparently made up an hilarious new word.

That word was Antarctica.

Idiots.

So, this is a tumblr. In the world of tumblr there is a popular meme called Topless Tuesday. In NZ, it is a Tuesday.

TOPLESS TUESDAY!!

Once you click on the link (embedded in the heading) you get taken straight to a neat little interactive thingy that has 5 Super 14 Players. They are all top-notch to look at and probably heinous to drink around (except for Jimmy Cowan who has reportedly sobered up some since his infamous smackdown 2 years ago) and then you'll be able to make the players take part in one of the most popular traditions of Rugby - shirt swapping! Pick any two players and make them swap shirts. There is even a slow motion option available.

This is actually quite an old link. Do I care? Hell no! Apparently this was an ad campaign to draw attention to the players shirts? I don't know. I don't really care. Let's face it, you probably don't care either. I'm gonna go ahead and say this is safe for work. I'm probably wrong.

Yes, I do have an idea for a proper post today. I just wanted a reason to talk about this.