Ill Always Be Here *

i’ll always be here ༊*·˚

m.list ◦ askbox

synopsis: in which you find out that you are pregnant

You pulled back up your underwear and sat down at the toilet lid. There wasn’t an ounce of laziness or indolence in the way you hunched with your gaze low, pinned on the test.

A great silence filled the air but it rang loud enough to cover the sound of your breathing and the beat of your heart. Or maybe all your senses halted and you just stayed there frozen, detached from your own body.

Your leg seemed unable to stay in place, jumping mechanically up and down, tensed, full of anticipation. You pulled your hair back and held it to your nape, unconsciously scratching your skin, digging with your nails red holes.

Timothée touched your knee in understanding, hopelessly trying to console both of you.

He was sitting on the tiled floor, legs crossed, the skin of his stomach crumpled, seemingly apathetic, but in reality, he could barely move. His mouth agape was letting the air slide in, tongue pressed hard against his teeth.

There was nothing apathetic in his persistent stare that was fixed on you, eyes glimmering with a feverish spark, trying to catch some sort of reaction.

Devoted, he observed your expression forming; the way you blinked, the spasms of your eyelids, the way your eyebrows raised and your lips twitched. And then, when your eyes met his, he could suddenly feel his heart pounding so hard that it hurt his chest. His hand pushed the thumping back inside his body and he got on his feet.

« What ? What does it say ? »

You tasked him with your gaze and then extended the test, which he took a bit hesitant given your expression.

In utter surprise but at the same time in a state of consciousness. He knew. However, nothing could have ever prepared him for that moment.

He covered his mouth with his palm and breathed deeply as if to swallow all the air in the room. His jaw clenched and he had to blink, the overdose of oxygen draining his eyes into a strange shade of green. He exchanged a look between you and the test.

You were staring at him, body stiff from stillness, not really in your vicinity, your space, shocked. And the more he remained silent, the more you stared. You wanted to say something, but your throat ran dry.

His pupils retracted, sagging in helplessness and anticipation. A small wet drop swam the curve of his face and remained stuck on his chin. He turned at you and you breathed out relieved at the muffled sound of his chuckle.

« Shit, I’m going to be a dad. » You nodded slowly, unable to speak, a wide smile stretched on your lips. Tim breathed out, fingers wandering mindlessly over his hair. « I’m going to be a dad, » he pointed to himself. « We’re going to have a kid. »

« We’re going to be parents. »

« We’re going to be parents, » he repeated your words in disbelief, trying to digest it. « Shit, we’re going to be parents ! », his voice came out louder and he wrapped his arms around your body asphyxiatingly tight.

Your breaths caught in your throat, the closeness and warmth his body radiated making you feel dizzy and bringing tears to your eyes. You both laughed overflooded by an incomparable feeling of the purest joy. His heart was about to burst out of his chest, you could feel it pounding against you.

Tim pulled you back, his hair in total disarray and face reddened with a frantic glow. His eyes wet, glimmering surreally bright, wandered all around your face as he breathlessly cupped your cheeks into his hands, silver trails slipping from between his fingers. He brushed your hair back, as thumb wiped off those wet marks, trying to gather your tears, but simultaneously calm himself.

Your fingers slid around his wrist to make him stop and look at you. You smiled at the view of his face.

« You’re crying ? »

« Look who’s talking, » he sniffled and breathed out a laugh.

« Are you happy ? »

« Happy ? », his eyes widened as if what your question was ridiculous, which it was. « I’ve never loved anyone like I love you right now, » Tim leaned down and pressed his lips on your hand.

« I can’t believe it. »

« We’re going to be a family, » he said, his eyes swelling with happiness. « Fuck, I’m going to be a dad ! » You bit your lips to stop yourself from grinning. Timothée walked around the room, your stare following his every move. « I’m going to be a dad ! », he came to you and hugged you again. You almost lost your balance at his force and ended up in laughter. Tim wrapped his arms around you tight, not letting you escape, not for one second.

And when he did, he held both your hands in his and slipped his fingers around yours, like you were kids on your first day of school, relying on one another, seeking safety and comfort.

« Have you ever thought about it ? Us, having a kid. » You nodded.

« You ? » He grinned widely and pressed his eyes shut, a bit embarrassed.

« Yes. »

« Yes ? »

« You’re surprised ? »

« I don’t know... » He gave you a gentle smile. You noticed the way his stare moved down, hands slowly circling the sensitive skin of your belly. « I just never thought you wanted it with me. » His smile weakened and he reverted his eyes to you, unable to believe that these words were coming out of your mouth.

« I wouldn’t want this with anyone but you, » his voice came out soft and he looked at you, waiting for a response similar to his.

« Why ? »

« Why ? », his hands slowly slid off your belly and held your face. His eyes never narrowed or left yours. « Because I love you. »

« You love me, but will you stay ? »

« Where else would I go ? » You shrugged.

« Promise me that you will always be here. »

« I’ll always be here. »