Donna Y Corderito

Donna y Corderito🖤

Corderito y Donna 🖤

Hiyah! could I request Donna with a reader who has a really ratty old stuffed animal that they’re super attached to that Donna is a little (very) jealous of? maybe during a crisis Donna tears it apart and reader is inconsolable for days and won’t even speak to her, until one day Donna very carefully repairs that stuffed animal for reader again. love some angst with a happy ending!

Yesss!!!! Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!!! :)))))))

A childhood friend

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Donna being Donna, Donna's POV

Word count: 7,770

Summary: How can I be jealous of a teddy bear...?

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

I would never have imagined that I was waiting for someone, that in the darkness of my bedroom, loneliness wasn’t my only company.

After so many years of loneliness, of so much crying, horror… Finally I wasn’t alone and I would never be alone again.

My life is of no interest to anyone, it never was. Maybe I could have the feeling that I really left the young and crazy Donna Beneviento to become someone important, so “lady” preceded my name and I would feel special.

No, that didn’t work. I will always thank the Black Gods, Mother Miranda, for having been chosen for a cause that I am still not sure of. I became a Lord, someone to be feared. Yes, that sounded much better than: the crazy and sick doll woman.

But thinking that something in my life would change after my transformation was only part of an illusion, a desire of my subconscious to abandon my loneliness.

Yes, I had power. I could do things I would never have imagined. Causing fear and suffering to those people who one day messed with me was a fun pastime, but it didn't last too long.

Power brings fear, and fear brings loneliness.

It's not that I wanted to suddenly find myself surrounded by people who begged to serve me, as my sister did. No, that false desire to share my life with someone was the only bit of sanity left in my sick mind.

No, I didn't need anyone. I had everything without having anything.

Thanks to Mother Miranda's gift I was able to give life to my partner Angie, my only friend, the only one who, even without existing, was by my side all those years. A miracle from the Black Gods, a gift I can never thank enough for.

But after years and years of thinking that perhaps loneliness would always be my condemnation, that, simply because I was born into my family, having spent my childhood, my life in that sinister village, I would no longer have the right to be a normal person.

You appeared as a coincidence, as something that shouldn’t be there and at the same time had to exist; a beautiful, perfect girl, daughter of the village weaver.

Were you really a coincidence? It was becoming more and more difficult for me to see it that way.

You had something I needed. You had fabrics for my dolls. At first it was unexpected. The Duke simply didn’t have what I was looking for. When I saw you… When I saw you I knew that I would never buy fabrics from that greedy merchant again.

I preferred to see you, to see your innocent smile, the lack of trembling in your body when I was near. You were different, you didn’t fear me, or you didn’t show it.

That was much more than I had in my entire life, someone who smiled at me, who didn't run away from me, who didn't beg for mercy. It was sudden, my heart started to move strangely, to pound when I got close to you. Yes, I never had the chance to experience that thing called love, so it took me a while to be sure that it was what I felt for you.

Longings, sighs, smiles… All those changes, those involuntary actions of my body were like a disease, one that I did like to have, for which there was only one cure: You.

After a while trying to put my feelings back together, assuming that I really loved you, that I visited you only to contemplate your smile, I dared to tell you what I felt.

I wanted you to guide me. I wanted you to tell me what those sighs meant, those smiles that you were unable to see through my black veil. I explained everything to you, with fear, fearing that you would think I was just stupid, a poor crazy woman who didn't even dare to talk to people.

Your smile grew bigger and bigger and then… Then you confirmed it for me. Those butterflies in my stomach, my mind ravaged by your beauty, the sighs, the desire to see you… It was love.

I wasn't surprised by your timid explanation but... When I lowered my head, ready to run away, so as not to hear your rejection, so as not to hear that I was just a monster, then you did it. Without fearing the consequences of your audacity you lifted my black veil. You didn't uncover my face, just a little bit of it, just enough for your lips to rest on mine.

A kiss, the first of my life but not the last, a kiss from those tender, brave lips that didn't flinch, that didn't hesitate... The best kiss.

You also felt something for me. Your body was sick in the same way, it was sick of love...

Explaining how little by little the kisses became routine, how my caresses became more and more emboldened by your skin would be too boring. Everything we lived always had an end, a bitter one, the moment when you had to go back home.

Desperate, being selfish and possessive, one of those nights I begged you not to leave ever again, to stay with me. You, always surprising me, said yes.

And that, that was the first night in which our bodies could embrace each other eternally, in which the warmth of your body remained in mine.

“Okay, I'm done,” you said when your usual clothes disappeared to give way to a nightgown, the clothes that would accompany you every night. “Donna?”

“Oh, yes,” I said, shaking my head, leaving that journey through my memories, that explanation I needed to know that you were real, that you did exist. “Come,” I said, patting the mattress affectionately.

“Wait, wait, something is missing,” you said suddenly, searching for something among your suitcases. “That's it...”

I blinked several times when I saw you with something in your arms, it looked like a teddy bear, or at least, it once was.

“What's that?” I asked pointing at that ratty animal as you got into bed next to me.

“It's Percy,” you said with an innocent smile, showing me the teddy bear and moving one of its paws comically. “Hello, hello”

“Percy?” I asked again with a frown, taking the bear in my hands.

The condition of that plush was terrible. It was missing an eye and the seams seemed to want to tear. The passage of time was evident in the old bear, it reminded me of Angie.

“Mm,” you murmured as I continued to look at that worn teddy bear. “I've had it since I was very young, it's important to me, you know, like a friend.”

“A friend…” I whispered with an inevitably unpleasant grimace.

 I hate broken toys.

“Yes, I've been sleeping with him for as long as I can remember, he's always been with me, you know...” you commented, sighing and looking at the gestures I made on the animal, trying to recompose one of his arms.

“You haven't taken good care of it,” I murmured, looking at you out of the corner of my eye. “It's destroyed.”

You simply shrugged your shoulders.

“Yes, well... I've always taken him with me on my adventures,” you said with a nostalgic tone. “Time passes for everything, but for me he's still the same.”

“The same? (Y/N), it's missing an eye,” I said with a mocking smile.

I wasn't used to joking, I didn't even know how to do that, I always failed and that time, you didn't even bother to fake a smile, you just crossed your arms.

“You are missing an eye too and I love you,” you said with a dangerous whisper, one that indicated to me that you weren't joking.

I looked at you quickly, offended by your comment. You weren't careful, (Y/N), you didn't know how dangerous it was to joke about my horrible appearance.

Well, maybe you did, because your face immediately changed and you bit your lip, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Um, Donna, don't take it the wrong way... I, I meant it as a joke,” you stammered, with a reassuring tone.

I just nodded, taking one last look at that horrible bear and leaving it on the nightstand.

“Oh, no, no, wait,” you said climbing up my body and reaching out to grab the teddy bear. “Be careful, Donna.”

“Careful? Perché? I haven't done anything,” I said confused while you got off my body again, with that animal in your arms.

“Don't leave Percy anywhere, he’s fragile and... Well, besides, I already told you that I always slept with him so...” you said, placing the bow tie on that teddy bear, making me frown even more.

“Is the bear going to sleep here? In the bed?” I asked in a dark tone.

I didn't know why I acted that way, but I did, I had the need to do it, as if I myself considered that the bear was exceeding the limits of confidence.

“Yes... It's just that... Well, it may seem silly to you but... I continue, I continue sleeping with him,” you confessed a bit embarrassed, placing the bear delicately under the sheets, in a position that seemed horrible to me, between the two of us. “That way he could protect me.”

Ignoring the gesture of putting that plush to sleep with us, I laughed pleasantly, shaking my head and taking your hand.

“Come on, tesoro… You don't need it anymore, I'll protect you,” I said, moving the bear away from the bed.

You gasped, snatching it from my hands with a nervous, almost scared gesture.

“Um, I'm, I'm sorry Donna but I need it,” you said, looking away. “Well, unless… It's a problem for you… Be more careful, please…”

I blinked several times, trying to listen to your words over and over again and to interpret your serious expression as you returned the animal to that privileged place.

A part of me asked for tranquility, calm. The bear wasn’t something strange. I slept with my dolls, with Angie. I should know how important it could be for a person.

 The other part of my head, the one corrupted by hate, jealousy and madness, did nothing but scream at me to get that pathetic bear away from the place my body should occupy.

“Um, it's not a problem,” I said in a small voice, with an expression that surely didn’t show the intention of those words.

Does she prefer to sleep with that bear? How stupid you are, Donna…

“Taci!” I said out loud, startling you with the abruptness of my words.

Again I wasn’t careful. I let the voices in my head sound real, cloud my senses. Luckily, it was only for a moment, until your soft and reassuring hand rested on my cheek again.

“Honey, I didn't say anything,” you said with a nervous smile, with that tone you used when the shadows stalked me.

I was stupid to think that way, to believe that the pathetic bear could replace me. I wish I weren't condemned to madness, to imagine that, around every corner, there was a threat that sought to take you away from me.

“I'm sorry,” I said, rubbing my eye and kissing the back of your hand.

“Relax, I know the move has been stressful for you but...” you said, taking your hand away and lying down on the bed, guiding me to do the same. “I'm here with you now, my love...”

Your whispers, your words of love always served to soften my sharp soul. The day you were gone... I wouldn't want to continue living. Not even eternal life would be a gift. It would be a constant condemnation, a time in which your loss would never disappear from my wounded heart.

“Certo,” I whispered, forcing a smile, reaching out my hand to remind the softness of your skin, to remind myself that I wasn't living in a dream.

You laughed softly, like every time my imperfect hands touched your perfection. Not even the fact that my hand touched that teddy bear stopped me from enjoying your hand, getting a little closer to kiss your lips slowly.

“Careful, be careful, darling,” you said amused, harassed by the tickling my lips did on your skin. “Percy.”

I moved away as my smile faded, letting your hands leave me to take the plush out from under my body and position it again, ready to sleep.

“I'm sorry,” I whispered with a fake voice, glancing sideways at that one-eyed bear, one that seemed to enjoy its victory. At least that's what my mind interpreted.

It was our first night together, and the joy in my heart hid those irrational jealousies for a moment. Having your body sleeping next to mine, your deep, calm breathing reaching my ears like a lullaby... That was unbeatable, even with that disgusting Percy separating us.

I could barely sleep that night.

I couldn't sleep because I had you by my side, because my mind traveled from joy to sadness, then to fear, the fear as always irrational and almost psychotic. I thought when I dared to close my eye, I would lose you forever.

That didn't happen. I dared to sleep, to test my worries, and I won. Well, almost...

When the morning cold shook my body, forcing it to wake up, the first thing I did was to reach out my hand to you. You weren't there. The warmth of your body had abandoned me.

I quickly turned on the light and confirmed my fears. You weren't there, (Y/N), you were gone. My breathing became dangerously labored and my eye traveled all over the room until I lowered my head.

Of course, Percy was still there, looking at me with its one eye, mocking me. It wasn't what I expected to see when I woke up but at least... At least I knew that you weren't gone, you would never go without that filthy teddy bear.

Nervous because of that cold look, because of that bear's sinister shadow, I turned its head, its body, preventing it from continuing to laugh at me, even though it really wasn't.

“Good morning!” A high-pitched squeal made me stir.

Small, familiar footsteps walked towards the bed, jumping on top of it; my friend, my companion, my Angie.

“Don't shout, Angie...” I murmured, shaking my head. “Where's (Y/N)?” I asked curiously.

The doll laughed amused, climbing onto my lap.

“I think she's taking a shower,” she commented thoughtfully. “Did you sleep well?”

“No,” I said in a cold voice, briefly looking at the bear.

“Of course, of course, your conscience did its work,” Angie said with a haughty voice that made me frown.

“My conscience?” I asked, running a hand through my hair, constantly looking at the door, wanting for you to appear.

“Yes, silly Donna…” the doll said, putting a wooden finger on my nose. “I'm sure you felt guilty for having kicked me out of the room.”

“Oh, Angie…” I sighed, understanding the reason for that attitude. “We've already talked about it, you can't sleep with us. You disturb us.”

“Silly!” my doll shrieked. “That's unfair.”

“Angie, taci,” I said with a darker tone. “You have to accept that (Y/N) now lives with us, so do me a favor and behave, will you?”

“I can't behave with the silly girl who forced me to sleep in the office,” Angie protested, crossing her arms and letting herself fall on the mattress. “It's very cold there, Donna.”

“Stop complaining, you can't feel the cold,” I commented, shaking my head, refocusing my gaze on that bear and sighing.

The doll growled, mockingly imitating my posture until she noticed where my eye was pointing, until she noticed that strange presence on the bed

-Ohhh - she murmured curiously, cautiously approaching that teddy bear. -What is this filthy bear?

“It's Percy,” I said in a small voice, frowning and looking away. “It's (Y/N)’s.”

“Percy? Hello, hello Percy…” the doll said, shaking the bear's paw as if she was really greeting it.

I looked at her and couldn't help but smile at that scene. Angie was a demon, but sometimes she managed to look adorable. I don't know what would have become of me without her.

“Hey, you dirty bear! I'm talking to you!” the puppet said abruptly, indignant at not getting an answer.

I laughed amused, picking up the puppet in my arms and sitting her on my lap, fixing her messy hair affectionately.

“Ti voglio bene, Angie,” I whispered with my soul a bit calmer.

“Oh, cheesy Donna,” she protested, removing my hands from her face. “Hey, that bear is rude, he didn't greet me.”

I laughed again, leaving the doll alone.

“He doesn't talk, Angie, he's not like you,” I explained while the puppet examined the bear again with curiosity, shaking it comically.

“Che palle,” she complained. “Wait, wait, wait,” she said, as if she had just realized something. “I can't believe it Donna…”

“Mm?” I muttered, watching the door again in case you appeared.

“So, I, the wonderful Angie, the supreme Angie can't sleep here with you and that pile of dirt that looks like a bear can, right?” she protested, with an indignant pose, not leaving the poor bear alone.

I rolled my eye and sighed, relaxing my face again, turning it slightly dark.

“(Y/N) needs to sleep with it,” I explained looking down, remembering the conversation from the day before, those irrational thoughts that talked about stupid jealousy. “It's like... A talisman for her, or something like that.”

“How old is she, 5?” the doll mocked, laughing evilly. “Isn't she old enough for teddy bears?”

I sighed again, shaking my head.

“I can't judge her, Angie, until she came I slept with you,” I said in a low voice, taking the opportunity to remind myself that there was no problem with Percy.

“It's not the same, I can talk, and move, and be the best friend ever,” Angie said proudly, pointing at herself and sitting next to the stuffed animal. “Oh, look, look, he's missing an eye, like you...”

“Should I find that funny?” I said offended, crossing my arms. “It's (Y/N)'s teddy bear and she sleeps with it, that's all, there's no problem with it.”

“Are you talking to me or to yourself?” Angie asked, comically moving the bear's weak limbs.

I looked at her with a furious sigh, not having an answer for that accusation.

“I…” I stammered confused, but before I could try to defend myself, the footsteps on the wood indicated to me that, finally, you had returned. “Oh, (Y/N)…” I sighed with a smile as you leaned in to kiss me.

“Have you missed me, darling?” you asked laughing, surely due to my usual shower of kisses, a desperate one that tried hard to mark your skin. “Donna…” you said, pushing me away amused, kissing me for the last time and sitting next to me.

“I hope you slept well,” I said, forgetting for a moment about my dark thoughts, dazzled by your smile. “Have you been comfortable?”

“Oh yes, of course,” you said, nodding sincerely. “Besides, I already knew this bed…” you whispered in my ear, making the heat of my body move to my cheeks.

“Ugh!” Angie complained, interrupting unpleasantly. “Oh, my love, darling, give me a kiss, mooch, mooch, mooch…” the doll mocked, pretending to kiss Percy, something that made your smile disappear immediately.

“Hey! Don't touch him!” you screamed, moving nervously to snatch Angie's toy. “Don't touch him!”

“Ahhh!” Angie shrieked, fleeing from the unhinged fury of your words, hiding behind of me.

“(Y/N),” I said with a surprised look. I'd never heard you scream like that, I'd never seen you get that nervous. “Cal-calmati, amore mio…”

“It's not a toy, Angie, it's not for you to play with,” you said nervously, checking if my doll had caused havoc on that damn teddy bear.

“How dare you to yell at me?” Angie asked, peeking comically, pointing at you with her finger. “Say something, Donna, defend me.”

I should have, Angie was right.

“Behave, Angie, please…” I whispered, not sure that was what I meant. You looked at me gratefully, frowning, still holding Percy.

“Donna, you traitor …” the doll hissed moving away from me and getting off the bed. “I will get my revenge! You will pay dearly for your insolence! You and that filthy bear!” she shrieked before leaving the room, saying words that weren’t especially nice.

You shuddered, hugging Percy tightly, an image that my mind distorted horribly, making it not to look cute, but dangerous.

“Donna… She threatened me,” you said in a soft voice, getting a little closer to me with a scared look. “Angie won't hurt me, right?”

“Of course she won’t, tesoro,” I said, trying to reassure you with a sweet hug, with a soft kiss on your cheek. “Don't pay attention to her...”

“And Percy?” you asked nervously, moving away from my kisses, from my comfort, and hugging that stupid animal tighter.

I sighed discreetly, shaking my head and drawing your body towards mine again.

“No, tesoro, she won’t hurt Percy either,” I said reluctantly, trying not to make my passivity so obvious.

Luckily you were too preoccupied with the bear to notice the apathy of my words.

That's how our coexistence began, in a strange but satisfactory way. After all, you didn't leave, you stayed with me.

I tried to forget about that bear, I tried to pretend that it didn't accompany us every night, that you hugged it instead of my body. Meditating in the solitude of my workshop, I came to the conclusion that there was no danger in you finding refuge in a childhood companion.

Yes, I stopped thinking about it, or at least I tried. You were so perfect… Seeing you every day, being able to kiss you whenever I wanted, being able to tell you at any time that I loved you, that you were my whole life, was a better gift than the second chance Miranda gave me.

Always so cheerful, so happy, sitting next to me while we read, on my lap whenever I worked on my dolls… I spent all my time with you, all the time I could. The kisses, the caresses, the hugs… Those divine gifts were my new routine. I couldn’t say I got used to it, because I could never do that.

Getting used to it would be trivializing your presence. It would be provoking your kisses to stop causing me that incredible emotion, to stop worsening of my favorite disease, my love for you.

But, although everything was perfect, although the days passed with my body in yours, with my lips adoring yours, there came a time when I began to feel a strange discomfort.

It was like a sensation that made our loneliness, our intimacy disappear. It was like when Angie was around, like when kisses couldn't be diverted into passion. The feeling of being watched got worse as the days went by and, even though I tried to ignore it, I really tried, I couldn't do it.

That bear, that damn bear was always with us. It didn't matter what we were doing. Eating, sleeping, making love, walking... That damn Percy always accompanied us, silently, with that disgusting eye laughing at me.

Living with you was wonderful, but... Yes, I hated that bear.

Your arms hugged it every night, that piece of cotton and fabric had the privilege of feeling your warm body, separating it from mine. It could be an exaggeration, a jealousy that made no sense at all, but… If I couldn't hug you at night, why Percy could? Was he more important than me?

Maybe I was indeed exaggerating. Maybe my mental problems made me see that filthy bear as an enemy and not as one of my lifeless dolls.

Openly admitting that I was jealous of Percy wouldn’t be good for us, I knew it and that's why I decided to pretend that I didn't care about the affection you gave him, that I didn't care about the kisses you gave to that battered fabric, those caresses so different from the ones you gave me.

But time only proved me right, it only fed my darkness. My lap was no longer a place for you, yours was now the bear's favorite place.

It seemed to me that you were distancing yourself, that you gave him much more than you gave me. It could simply be that I didn't pay much attention to you when I made my dolls, I even came to think that it was some kind of revenge for something I didn't know I had done.

I tried, I really tried, but I couldn't take it anymore, not that night.

The kisses were hot, wet. The panting began to fill the bedroom with lust. My heart was beating fast, my hands were traveling over your body. I was in paradise.

“Donna,” you moaned amused by my caresses on your neck, by the way my hands climbed up your legs, ready to touch you, to make you mine, to love you madly…

I laughed, biting your earlobe, moving your body so it rested below mine while my lips began to go down your neck. My mistake was not letting myself get carried away by the voices in my head, by those voices that I began to ignore.

No, the problem was much simpler, I opened my eye.

On top of your bedside table was that filthy bear, the damn Percy. He was always there, always next to you, almost closer to you than me. Maybe that's why I wanted to make love to you desperately that night.

I stopped, catching my breath, staring into that lifeless eye, feeling intimidated, watched, as if that Percy hated me, as if he was capable of feeling the same jealousy as me.

“(Y/N)…” I sighed, sitting up a bit, relaxing the movement of my caresses.

“Donna, why are you stopping? Are you okay?” you asked curiously, running a hand through my hair. I nodded with a frown, looking away from that bear. “Come here, my love…”

Your tender words brought back the desire of my lips kiss yours, but it only lasted a moment, until my stupid eye opened again.

“Mm, no, (Y/N),” I said, moving away again, shaking my head.

You looked at me curiously, with a strange look.

“What's wrong?” you asked with a soft, understanding voice.

You were so perfect…

“It's just that… I, I can't,” I stammered, looking back at that disgusting bear. “It makes me, it makes me nervous,” I said in a low voice, pointing at the teddy bear with my head.

“You mean Percy? Oh, Donna, it's just a teddy bear,” you said amused, pulling my face back to your lips. I pulled away roughly, determined that you would listen to me.

“Can you take it away from there?” I asked, with a cold look. “I can't concentrate.”

“Don't pay attention to him, I promise he won't say anything,” you whispered seductively, silencing my protests with another one of your tender kisses. Not even the softness of your lips could comfort me.

“No, t-take it away from there, tesoro, please,” I asked more nervously, with a frown.

It was a kind request, (Y/N). I don't know why you had to refuse.

“Don't be silly, Donna, just don't look at him,” you said, with a slightly more relaxed look, trying to divert my face from your table. “Don't be childish...”

“Childish?” I asked offended, mouth agape. “Come on, (Y/N), don't be stubborn. Put it down for a moment...”

I reached out my hand to fulfill my wish, but yours stopped me.

“Stop talking nonsense and come here, forget about Percy,” you said with an impatient voice.

Nothing I say is nonsense, (Y/N)

I tried to let myself go again, but I was too nervous.

“Cazzo...” I growled, watched by that lifeless eye, oppressed by the pressure of that smiling expression that would surely laugh victoriously for having won. “Cazzo!” I shrieked, moving to hit the stuffed animal, to throw it to the floor in an unpleasant way.

“What are you doing? Have you gone crazy?” you asked startled, pushing me to get off your body, desperately throwing yourself to the floor to pick up your teddy bear. “Oh, nothing happened to it, right?”

“I can't believe it, (Y/N),” I hissed nervously, shaking my head. “Leave that stupid bear on the floor and come here.”

“It's not stupid,” you said with a look that pierced my chest. “I already told you that it's going to get dirty on the floor.”

“But... You, you...” I murmured, unable to say a word, controlling my increasingly sharp nerves. “Porca puttana...” I hissed, getting up from the bed.

“Where are you going, darling?” you asked, confused by my abrupt attitude. “My love, uh… Why did you do that? You know how important it is to me…”

“You know what, (Y/N)?” I said, turning quickly before walking out the door. Your eyes looked at me scared, terrified. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what I wanted to say, but I knew it wasn't anything good. “I, I'm going to the workshop.”

My cowardice was useful for once. I wanted to tell you so many things… I wanted to talk to you about my absurd jealousy, about my fear about that scruffy stuffed animal taking my place but… I couldn't do it, you would hate me for it and that only meant my fears made sense, that the bear was much more important than me.

I would have to calm down, my hands were shaking. That time I managed to avoid the crisis, but I didn't know how much longer I could bear it.

The next day started like any other, a romantic breakfast, your body on my lap again while I worked… It seemed like that tense moment had caused you to realize what my concern was.

But the reality was very different. That bear was still with us all the time, even closer to you, as if you wanted to protect it from another one of my slaps. You hugged it, held it close to your body. It was even closer than me.

“You know? I've been thinking…” you murmured while we ate. My gaze shifted from Percy, accompanying us, as always, and went to your beautiful eyes.

I nodded with a slightly forced smile, one that stayed alive in the light of your smile.

“Tell me what you've been thinking, tesoro…” I sighed romantically, something that made you smile in the same way

“Mm, I thought we could go for a walk in the woods, it's a really nice day,” you said with that soft tone, with that shy smile.

“Yes, a walk!” Angie exclaimed, startling us both.

“Um, no, just me and Donna,” you corrected in a slightly abrupt but amused manner.

“I want to go too, I want to go too!” the doll protested, tugging hard at my black dress, making me almost choke on my wine.

“Angie, cazzo, lasciami…” I protested, pulling the garment away from her wooden claws. “No, you're not coming.”

“Oh, Donna said a bad word,” Angie mocked, in an exaggerated manner. I shook my head, rolling my eye and smiling at you amusedly.

That smile faded when I saw you look at the bear and shrug. It made me so nervous when you looked at it…

“What did you say? A bad word?” you asked curiously.

“Oh, well, Angie's right, you better not learn those ugly words, sweetheart…” I said, dismissing my outburst with a wave of my hand.

“Donna, silly, mean Donna, I want to go for a walk, I want to go!” the doll shouted again, causing me to sigh tiredly.

“I said no,” I said firmly with a stern tone. “You stay here watching Percy, mm?”

“What?” you asked, startled by my innocent words. “Oh, no, no, Percy is coming with me.”

“That's it, choose the filthy bear over me,” Angie whispered, with her hands on her hips. “Donna, tell her something!”

“Angie… Can we eat in peace?” you asked again, clasping your hands together in a pleading manner.

My gaze darkened again and the hand holding my wine glass began to tremble. I couldn't believe it, I just couldn't believe it.

What was supposed to be a liberating step, without stuffed animals or dolls, was nothing but a continuation of that horrible routine in which Percy was always present.

My hand squeezed the glass so hard that it broke, causing you to moan in surprise.

“Uh, wow, you're strong, huh, honey?” you joked, removing the two glass parts from my hands. “Wait, I'm going to throw this so you don't cut yourself. Percy, keep an eye on her.”

The anger could no longer stay inside me.

“Don't go, (Y/N),” I said, getting up from the table and getting in your way.

“Oh, do you want something from the kitchen?” you asked innocently, emptying the broken glass’ wine into yours.

“No,” I said abruptly, with my teeth clenched, with my fist wanting to break more glasses. “The bear is not coming with us.”

“What? Oh, um, why not?” you stammered, putting the crystals in a basket and looking at me confused. “Of course it’s coming.”

“Of course it’s not. The bear is staying,” I hissed, breathing more and more heavily.

“No, the bear is coming with us,” you said with a fake, nervous smile, as if I was saying something crazy. I wasn't, I was right. “What's wrong with you?”

Your words only increased my nerves. I couldn't stand it anymore. The madness was starting to make me lose control.

“What's wrong with me, huh?!” I screamed furiously, unhinged, letting out that contained rage, that stupid and absurd jealousy. “Qual è il tuo problema!?”

“D-Donna, you know I don't understand Italian,” you whispered cautiously, backing away slowly. “What's wrong with you? You're, you're very nervous…”

“How long are you going to keep laughing at me?” I asked in a lower tone, but just as dangerous. “Tell me, have you decided to make fun of me until I can't take it anymore?”

“What are you talking about? Oh, honey, you're losing your mind again… I'll go get your medicine,” you said nervously, passing by me. A bad idea, since my hand grabbed your arm tightly, pushing you back with a furious gasp.

“Yes, I'm losing my mind… Because of you!” I shrieked, clenching my fists tightly and approaching your side of the table, where that stupid Percy was resting. “I'm fed up, (Y/N)! I’m Fed up!”

“Donna, you're scaring me…” you stammered, grabbing the bear to hug it, to take refuge in it, instead of me. That was the last straw.

“Oh…” I growled furiously, snatching it away from you roughly.

“Hey! Give it back to me!” you shrieked nervously while trying to reach it, something impossible, since I was holding it above my head and you… You weren't exactly the tallest girl in the village… “Donna!”

“No! What's wrong, (Y/N)? If you love this stupid bear that much, what are you doing with me?”

“What?” you asked confused, jumping uselessly to reach your partner. “Donna, stop…. Donna!”

“Basta!” I screamed with more anger, pushing you roughly. “I'm sick of this filthy bear! Sick of you loving him more than me!”

“What the fuck are you saying?” you asked, furious, giving up and shaking your head. “Have you gone completely crazy? I knew you were jealous, Donna, really, I knew you were possessive but to be jealous of my teddy bear… It's too much, even for someone like you.”

“If you don't want me to be jealous, stop putting this stinky thing in my bed, stop hugging him at night!” I shouted, shaking Percy in my hand, noticing how the weak stitching on its arm slowly unraveled.

“I don't think you're the best person to accuse me of that. What about Angie?” you asked, pointing at the puppet, who pointed at herself and shook her head.

“Hey, don't involve me!” the doll protested.

“She's alive, (Y/N), this fucking bear is not, he will never be, he will never love you like I do!”

“You're going crazy. You must relax, give Percy back to me and go with your stupid dolls,” you said in a calm tone, getting a little closer to me. “When you get over that stupid craziness, we can talk calmly.”

I narrowed my eye, still breathing furiously as you extended your hand towards mine.

“Come on, Donna, be a good girl and give it back to me,” you said, with a demanding tone that ended up driving me crazy.

I growled, lowering the stuffed animal to your height but immediately removing it from your grip.

“Do you want me to give it back to you?” I asked with a dark look that was surely terrifying.

You nodded, you didn't seem moved.

“Come on, Donna, give it to me,” you said with an impatient gesture.

“Cazzo!” I screamed, grabbing the bear with both hands and doing the worst thing I could do, ripping it, pulling at those weak seams to tear it in half, to tear apart your most precious possession and throw it to the floor with a grunt. “Here is il tuo orsacchiotto di merda!”

“Donna!” you screamed, exchanging pride for the deepest sadness. “No, no, no!”

Screaming, you bent down to pick up the remains of the animal, bursting into tears that tore my soul apart completely. My madness didn't allow me to pity you, not even for a second. I thought I had triumphed.

“Why…?” you sobbed, trying to put the bear back together in a pathetic way. The cotton was sticking out of the tear and one of the arms didn't fit anymore. “Percy…”

I just looked at you, my gaze still dark.

“Donna,” you sobbed, hugging the parts of the teddy bear. “You are a monster,” you whispered, staring me straight in the eye, tears running down your cheeks.

You didn’t say anything else, not even that terrible insult made me stir until you ran out up the stairs and locked yourself in the guest room among horrible cries.

“Oh, Donna, Donna…” Angie sighed, coming closer when she saw the white on my knuckles disappear and I began to realize.

“Oh… What, what have I done?” I said, as if I had just woken up from a nightmare, running a trembling hand over my forehead, looking at a piece of cotton on the floor. “No…”

“Donna, my friend…” Angie sighed, hands on hips. “…You screwed it up.”

Angie was right.

My absurd jealousy, my sick mind forced me to break Percy, to take away your childhood friend. I hated myself, I screamed, I yelled, but none of that could ease my conscience nor heal my mistake.

You stopped talking to me, almost looking at me. You didn't even sleep with me. I had lost you.

But it wasn't a quick loss, you didn't abandon me completely. You were still in my house, you hadn't left me. What was initially a relief became the worst of my tortures. I could see you, but not have you. I could hear you, but not talk to you, I could look at your lips, but I couldn't kiss them.

I tried, I tried by all means to apologize, to beg you to forgive me, but it wasn't enough, it never would be.

“(Y/N),” I said when, as always, you sat down to eat with me. Your gaze was cold, annoyed, it seemed like you really hated me. My voice was soft, sad, apologizing with every word I said. It was of no use.

You didn't look at me or greet me. You just poured yourself a glass of water.

“L-look, I, I made lasagna… It, it's your favorite dish,” I said shyly, serving her a perfect piece that she reluctantly accepted.

“Do you expect me to thank you?” you asked, ignoring my gaze again. At least it was the first time in days that I heard you speak.

“(Y/N), per favore… Listen to me…” I said nervously, with a trembling voice and a tear in my eye.

“I don't want to listen to you,” you said in a gruff voice, dragging the chair. “If you don't leave, I'll go to my room.”

“Forgive me, I beg you, I'm, I'm suffering, tesoro, you don't know how much I am…” I said in a more pathetic tone, reaching out my hand to touch yours. You stood up with a cold look, without a smile, without the sparkle in your eyes.

“What do you know about suffering? You have no fucking idea about people's feelings, Donna. I'm going to my room, I'm not hungry,” you growled, getting up from the chair and walking back to the stairs.

“(Y/N)…” I sobbed when I lost sight of you, resting my forehead on my hand, letting the tear I was holding fall onto the table.

As if saying your name summoned you, you approached again, hurriedly, picking up your plate of food with an embarrassed look, making a proud gesture as you took that lasagna to your room.

A strange smile formed on my face as I shook my head. At least you were still enjoying my food.

“Is everything okay?” Angie asked, climbing onto my lap.

“No, it's not okay at all,” I said hoarsely, pouring myself some wine. “I'm losing her, Angie…”

“Well, you've broken her childhood teddy bear and hurt her feelings, you can't be surprised by her reaction,” the doll said. She was right.

“I don't know what I can do… I'm desperate,” I murmured, playing with my food. “I'll lose her forever, because of me.”

“You gain nothing by regretting it, silly Donna, do something,”  Angie said, guiding my face so I looked at her.

“What? I've apologized in every possible way, I've begged her and… It, it didn't help,” I explained while the doll listened to me, pretending boredom.

“If you think that by saying sorry you're going to fix things up, you're more stupid than you look, Donna,” she said, making me growl furiously, pushing her off my lap.

“Angie…” I hissed dangerously while a word stuck in my mind: fix. “Oh, wait… I think I got it…”

“What, Donna? What are you thinking?”

“Come, I need your help.”

The solution came to my head like a fresh breeze. Yes, it was true that saying sorry was absurd, that it wouldn't fix anything but… That only happened when there was nothing to fix. Fixing my mistakes wasn't something abstract, metaphorical. I could fix everything, really fix it. If I wanted to get you back, I should fix Percy.

With Angie's unmatched help, and with you not seeming upset with my doll, I managed to distract you so I could go up to your new room and get back what was left of Percy.

I spent two days in the workshop, without eating, without sleeping, searching for every piece of fabric, recomposing every part of that damn bear. If it had to be with us so I could enjoy your love, so be it.

Two new eyes, a restored bow tie, reinforced seams, clean and soft fabric, a rebuilt smile, he looked brand new.

“Well, there you are…” I murmured, running a hand over my forehead, yawning from exhaustion. “Welcome back, Percy. What do you think, Angie?”

“Oh…” the doll murmured. “It's amazing, Donna, I'm sure (Y/N) is going to love it.”

“Either that or she'll hate me forever… Is she upstairs?”

The doll nodded.

Slowly, I went up the elevator, with the animal hidden behind my back, walking slowly towards you, who seemed nervous, looking under the furniture, at least until you saw me.

“You! You crazy nutcase! What have you done with Percy?” you shouted at me, pushing me by the shoulders. I didn't move, I just shook my head. “It wasn't in its place... You threw it in the trash, right?”

“No,” I whispered with a hoarse voice, trying to keep my composure despite your angry pushes.

“Yeah, right, stop pretending, Donna. I'm sure you've gotten rid of it, how long do you plan to make me suffer?” you asked, pushing me harder and harder. “Talk, you crazy bitch! Tell me where Percy is!”

I didn't answer, no matter how much my heart hurt from your insults. I simply moved the bear from my back, holding it with both hands and showing it to you, who immediately froze, blinking several times.

“What…? Percy?” you asked confused, shyly taking the restored teddy bear. “What…?”

“Hello, (Y/N),” –I said without moving my lips, pretending to be the animal. You looked at me out of the corner of your eye and shook your head.

“It's, it's incredible… It's, it's like I remember it when my parents… Gods… What have you done?” you asked, looking at the clean bow tie, running a finger over its two now perfect eyes. The smile was starting to appear on your face.

“Donna fixed me up. She put a lot of effort into it. Look at me, I finally have two eyes,” Percy said again while I looked at you with a sad expression.

“I see…” you laughed with a sincere smile. “Look at the seams… It’s, it’s perfect…”

“Donna loves you so much. She’s tried so hard to fix me up to make you happy. She didn’t want to hurt you. She was just being silly, were you, Donna?” Percy said.

 I nodded slowly.

You shook your head and laughed amused, leaving the bear on a table and walking towards me, cupping my face in your hands.

“Donna, my love…” you whispered, with tears in your eyes. “Honey…”

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N), I didn’t mean to make you suffer… I, I just…”

You interrupted me the best way you knew, with one of your tender kisses, one that almost made me cry, one that you hadn’t given me in too long.

“I behaved like a fool too,” you said, playing with my hands. “I know the whole Percy thing was hard for you, Donna, but… Don’t, don’t worry, we’ll both make an effort to be a bit better, okay? I love you so much, my love…”

“I love you, (Y/N)…”

Hey there! Hope you’re having a wonderful day!

Could I request a classic Grumpy and Sunshine duo? lol

Just picture Donna being her usual grumpy and mean self while reader tries to lighten her mood.

Maybe Donna acts like she doesn’t appreciate the reader being clingy, but deep down, she secretly loves it.

But One day, reader decides to playfully distance themselves to tease Donna, only to realize it makes Donna really upset. Even though Donna is reluctant to admit it, she ends up begging the reader to stop ignoring her.

Thanks a bunch!

Yesss!!!! Thank you for your request!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! :)))))

You were the Sun, she was the Moon

Pairing: Donna Beneviento x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Fluff, maybe a bit of angst

Word count: 8,787

Summary: She's like darkness, you're like light...

N/A: Sorry about the language mistakes!!! Requests are open!!! I'm waiting yours!!! I love you all!!! :))

“Good morning…” you hummed as you turned on the light, the only thing you could do to enlighten that dark bedroom. “Donna, Donna…”

A grumpy growl came from the brunette as she tried to fight your always effusive morning kisses.

“No…” she sighed, turning around in a childish way, moving away from you.

You rolled your eyes but you weren't going to give up so easily. A new day for you was always a reason for joy and… Well, everything for you was a reason to be happy, to adorn your face with an eternal smile.

“No? Come on honey, it's time to get up,” you hummed again, pushing the lady with more effusivity, making her growls more intense. “It's a new day.”

“I see,” Donna hissed, slowly getting up, unable to resist your insistence. “(Y/N)…”

“Mm, you look so pretty when you have that grumpy face,” you joked, stealing a kiss on her lips that caught her by surprise.

The lady looked at you with a frown while you, teasingly pinching her cheek, pulled back the sheets.

“Hey, wait…” she whispered, trying to cover herself again, with a sleepy voice. “Are you in a hurry?”

“Yes, a new day is waiting for us, and we have to take advantage of it,” you said with that same smile, stretching in an exaggerated way.

Lady Beneviento shook her head, with the seriousness not wanting to leave her face. With a tired sigh, she stretched her hand towards the small clock on the bedside table, squinting her sleepy eye.

“Gods, (Y/N), it's seven in the morning,” she said with a tired, defeated tone. “Why?”

“Mm, well, the earlier we get up, the earlier we have breakfast, the earlier you get to work on your dolls and the earlier you finish. That way we can spend more time together, isn't that great?” you said, searching through the closet for the appropriate clothes for that day and throwing the lady's black dress on the bed.

“Great… It's not exactly the word I was thinking of, tesoro…” she whispered, shaking her head and getting up from the bed listlessly.

“Come on, don't be grumpy,” you said in a petulant tone, approaching the lady and hanging on her neck while tilting your head. “You're quite a Lord…” you joked near her lips, kissing them slowly while she sighed again, reluctantly returning the kiss.

“I'm not grumpy,” she said with a tone and expression that obviously agreed with you, as always.

With an amused laugh you winked at her, moving away, something you certainly didn't want to do.

“Hey, you look gorgeous with your hair down, have I ever told you that?” you commented with flushed cheeks, while you slightly adjusted the sheets.

The woman rolled her eye, sighing unpleasantly.

“I think about forty times…” she murmured, finally sketching a brief smile, helping you to place the pillows. “Do we really need to get up?”

“I'm sure Angie is already up,” you said, smoothing the bed, removing even the smallest wrinkle.

“Angie doesn't sleep,” Donna said, looking at you with her always inquisitive and almost distrustful face.

You shrugged, shaking your hands. You never lost your smile.

“Can you imagine what life would be like if we didn't sleep?” you asked, looking at the ceiling so the inventive part of your head would start working. “We could do more things during the day.”

“How funny…” the brunette sighed, looking away from you and grabbing her dress.

“Isn't it?” you said, nodding enthusiastically.

The answer was another sigh accompanied by a gesture of denial. The lady turned around, walking towards the door.

“I'm going to take a shower,” she murmured, an opportunity that you took to grab your clothes and run to her side.

“I'm going with you,” you said with a radiant smile, getting the corners of her mouth to bend slightly upwards with your tender words and your insistence, a sweet smile was gracing her face.

“Va bene…”

Given the place where you lived, that sinister village, surely what was expected of a young girl like you was that bitterness was always present on your face.

Of course, it wasn’t like that.

Unlike most villagers, you had been born with the gift of optimism, of joy. You were always smiling, always seeing the good side of things. You were incapable of getting angry, of feeling sorrow, rage, regret... Your life was a gift and you knew it.

It was as if you had stolen all the happiness from the place, as if the happiness of all its inhabitants had passed to you by a spell or a whim of the Black Gods.

That different, irreverent and cheerful attitude never gave you the opportunity to improve your life. You were never special for being that way.

One day, in the middle of one of your walks, you stumbled across the waterfall mansion, the Beneviento House.

You were happy, cheerful and optimistic, but you weren't stupid. You knew who lived there, what happened to the poor wretches who dared to walk there. Fortunately, your natural gift helped you not to end your life among hallucinations and screams of pain.

The owner of that mansion, the Lord, servant of Mother Miranda, the lady in black, Donna Beneviento, was a dangerous, sick, disturbed woman...

Nothing you had heard about her was good but, luckily, that day she didn't seem to be in a bad mood. Maybe she was or maybe it was due your bright smile and your funny excuses about how you got there, how your hand slipped on the elevator button.

She saw something in you, something that caught her attention. Maybe it was your smile, your joy for life, you weren't sure, but you knew that your hand would slip on that button more times, and that you wanted to do it.

Love was something almost impossible in a place like that, with a woman like her. But, as your philosophy said: impossible is nothing.

Of course, you also decided to give yourself a chance, to give yourself the chance to discover what it was like to really love, to love her. Kisses, caresses, words... Everything led, over time, to your hand to no longer rest on the elevator button and starting to touch her body every night.

Donna was... Strange. She definitely had problems that you tried to mitigate with some success. She was a... Well, dark, gloomy woman.

Her terrible childhood, her years of loneliness had overshadowed the character of a fairly healthy person when it came to socialization.

Always serious, whispering, with a cold look, with a hoarse but soft voice at the same time, that was Donna Beneviento. Not even Angie's different attitude was an excuse for the lady to put a smile on her beautiful face from time to time.

You two just did honor to the symbol of her family: the moon, and the sun.

Maybe you exaggerated. Yes, you saw her smile, yes, she kissed you, she told you that she loved you, that she couldn't live without you, she cried when she thought she was losing you.

She was emotional and affectionate but... She didn't show it very often, as if something inside her stopped that impulse to feel comfortable with another person, as if something in her mind forced her to appear serious so you wouldn't dare to break her heart.

Maybe it wasn't that big of a deal. It could simply be the contrast between your attitude and hers. Maybe Donna wasn't the grumpy and unspoken woman. Maybe the odd one of that curious couple was you.

If so, you would be the odd one, and she would be just a normal person. You didn't want to fool yourself. You knew that wasn't the case at all.

Still, hanging on her neck, sitting on her lap while she made dolls, bathing her skin in kisses, her ears in sweet words... Well, that was your way of being and you didn't think it would change, no matter how much Donna complained about "how clingy you were."

She loved you. She loved you more than life itself. It was just circumstances, or her natural way of being that forced her to behave as if those kisses didn't matter to her, to pretend to look upset when you didn't leave her alone.

You didn't have to think about it too much, since, very often, her protests were accompanied by a tender smile, one that you didn't know if she wanted to hide. Of course, she didn't manage it.

There were times, like the shower that morning, when her mood allowed her certain liberties, like hugging you affectionately under the hot water. Without speaking, but saying it all with her caresses, with her kisses on your hair.

“Mm,” you murmured, moving in place, with a natural smile on your face due to her silent displays of affection, to that tacit promise of always being with you, of you always being with her. “Donna…”

She laughed briefly, and, as if the mere fact of hearing you speak was a kind of spark that reactivated her normal behavior, she moved away from you, leaving the shower after a quick kiss on your shoulder.

“Hey… Come back here,” you protested, pretending to pout, gesturing with your hand. She looked at you and shook her head, covering herself with a towel.

“Weren't you in such a hurry?” she joked with her eyebrow raised, in a petulant tone.

You snorted amused, turning off the shower tap and doing the same, pretending to shiver.

-Yes, well… - you whispered, a little confused by her intelligent response, by that grumpy tone again. She certainly didn't like getting up early. -What would you like for breakfast, honey?

“Mm? Coffee,” she said dryly, combing her hair while looking at herself in the mirror, sighing sadly as she did every time she saw her reflection, the defect in her face that tormented her so much.

You, realizing that detail, approached slowly, hugging her from behind with a tender smile. She moved her hand towards yours, but didn't look away from her reflection, shaking her head.

“You're beautiful, Donna,” you whispered in a sweet voice, looking at your own refection. “Look, I suit you,” you joked.

Her face relaxed and that smile you adored accompanied yours in the mirror. Well, at least that time it had been simple.

“Could you leave me alone for a moment?” the lady asked in a kind but somewhat broken tone. Surely if you saw the tear forming in her eye, you would stay until Donna calmed down, but that overwhelmed her, even if you managed to cheer her up.

“Okay,” you said with a tired sigh, kissing her back and slowly moving away. “I'm going to make you a breakfast that will blow your mind, my love.”

She simply nodded, without looking at you, lowering her face to the sink, breathing deeply to try to calm herself down. As much as it hurt you to see her like that, you couldn't do anything. The problems in her mind weren't fixed with smiles, unfortunately.

Preparing breakfast, setting the table, making sure everything was perfect... That was a routine you loved. You always made great efforts to make everything shine in the same way as your smile, so those dry words from the lady in black would be sweetened with the love you always showed.

A silent breakfast, a few unimportant phrases about the weather, about Angie, about your friends… It was always you who spoke. Donna always just listened to you, or pretended to. She wasn't very good at pretending tough.

Your joy always remained strong, your desire to live, to be happy, was not intimidated by the grumpy behavior of the lady, by her always cold and stoic expression.

No, nothing, nor anyone could ever change you but… Could she change? Sometimes you wished it with all your soul, sometimes you dreamed of the lady in black telling you that she really loved how you were, that she love an attitude so different from hers.

But that day never came, that full smile never reached your gaze. Sometimes you seemed nothing but a nuisance to her, but it didn't make sense for that to be the case. Why would someone like her, a powerful Lord, put up with someone she couldn't stand? Why live with a nuisance?

There were two possible answers: It could be loneliness, it could be that fear of the woman in black of not being left alone again, settling for the first stupid woman who didn't run away when she saw her face without the veil.

Maybe she just wanted company, even if she couldn't stand you.

Another option, the one you told yourself was the right one, would be that Donna truly loved you, that she cared for you, that your senseless encouragement lifted her spirit, that your joy made her see things in color, and not with a black and white filter.

Once again, it was impossible to know, to read the doll maker's mind and finally find that longed-for answer so your mind, with the passage of time, wouldn't start making painful assumptions.

“I got you!” you said triumphantly, finding the Angie doll under a sofa.

The afternoons could be many ways, but normally, because your power of persuasion to take a walk with Donna was at its weakest point, they were fun times with the living doll.

Okay, maybe not even Angie could match your level of cheerfulness and optimism, but at least she wasn't the grumpy mess her owner was. Angie was irreverent, shameless, not afraid to speak her mind at any given moment. You wondered if she was real part of Donna’s mind, or a lost virtue that the lady could never get back.

“You're fast, silly,” Angie whispered, crawling comically under the couch. “I think this is a tie.”

“Tie?” you asked, hands on hips. “As far as I know I've found you seven times this week.”

“Oh, yeah, but... Do you remember when you got here?” the doll joked, pointing at you. “I went two months without losing.”

“That was cheating, I didn't know the house that well,” you said, pushing the puppet playfully, making her grunt in a way suspiciously similar to her owner, something that made you look at the clock and sigh. “Oh, it's tea time.”

“What tea?” Angie asked, tilting her head.

“Donna's tea,” you said, with an anxious smile, walking towards the elevator.

“Hey, leave Donna alone! You know she doesn't like you disturbing her when she's making my friends,” the doll said, following you down the hall.

You nodded amused, rolling your eyes.

“Yes, but she always finishes the tea I make for her,” you said in your defense, moving the elevator bars.

“I guess that way she can stop hearing your voice…” the doll mocked, making you frown, but, when you wanted to protest, the elevator was already going down to the basement.

Ignoring the doll's potentially-hurtful words, you prepared the tea while humming, wanting, as always, to give the brunette an awkward cuddle session. You wondered how she would react that day…

“Donna,” you sang, entering the workshop without knocking on the door, startling the lady, who groaned like every time you woke her up at early hours.

“Tesoro, I've told you a thousand times that you must…” she whispered in a hoarse voice, with labored breathing.

“Yes… I must knock on the door, I know,” you said, dragging out the words and hugging your lady from behind, leaving the tea on the table and leaning on her shoulder. “Mm, I love when you're focused…”

“(Y/N), is there any moment of my life that you don't like?” she asked with a serious face, not looking at you, working on a sinister porcelain doll.

“Let me think… No,” you said amused, kissing her cheek repeatedly, passing by her nose, briefly by her mouth…

At first the lady didn't protest against that rain of kisses but, after a moment in which it seemed that you didn't want to stop, she coughed, moving her face away from your lips.

“Ugh, lasciami…” she whispered annoyed, gesturing with her hand as if she were pushing away an insect that was flying around her.

You laughed, shaking your head and sighing, planting a kiss on her cheek, well, one that contained several more, making the sound in an exaggerated way, preventing her from running away from you by holding her by the shoulders.

“Mmmm, gorgeous…” you said, with a last loud kiss, an unpleasantly cheesy one.

Donna growled, passing a hand over her wet cheek and lips and shaking her head.

“Why are you that clingy?” she protested, her gaze fixed on the porcelain, with an annoyed expression.

You, ignoring her complaints as always, shrugged, sighing and settling yourself on her lap, so she groaned again, leaving the brush in a glass, knowing that, otherwise, her work would be ruined because of you.

“I made you some tea,” you said amused, moving one of your legs, swinging it as you made yourself comfortable in that position grabbing the lady by her shoulders to support yourself.

“I see that,” she whispered, taking the cup. “I didn't ask you for it.”

“No, but you never do it,” you said amused, turning to play with her black hair, making her protest again. “After all, you drink it, so I guess you want it.”

Donna shook her head, letting out the air slowly, surrendering to your excessive affection.

“Okay, whatever,” she said nervously, with a darker look.

“Have you seen how perfectly I've made that slice of lemon?” you said amused, pointing to the inside of the cup. Donna looked at the same place with a frown and then at you.

“What's wrong with the lemon?” she asked impatiently, moving due to the apparent discomfort of your body on her lap. “Get down…”

“No,” you said, ignoring that abrupt request. “I mean it's a perfect circumference, don't you think?” you joked, with an expectant look.

“(Y/N), don't you have anything better to do than distract me?” Donna asked, fed up with your comments, gently pushing you off her lap.

You snorted and your smile relaxed for the first time in months

“I, I really don't…” you sighed with a slightly different tone, which led the lady in black, now with the brush in her hand again, to look at you slowly.

“Weren't you playing with Angie?” she said, dipping the brush in paint and picking up the porcelain head.

For a moment you thought that your boredom would be a concern for her, but it wasn't. Maybe that's why you felt less like smiling.

“Yes, but…” you murmured, scratching the back of your neck.

“Why don't you go for a walk with your friends?” she suggested, without looking at you again, giving more importance to that doll than to you.

“Mm, yes, perhaps, perhaps I will,” you said, her smile returning little by little. “I'm sorry if I disturbed you, Donna.”

With a soft kiss on her lips, one she accepted along with a brief caress, you turned around, walking towards the workshop door.

“(Y/N),” the lady interrupted, making you turn around slowly. She looked at you and sighed, with a tender and tired smile. “Thank you for the tea.”

“You're welcome, my love,” you said with an affectionate tone, smiling back at her as you closed the doors.

Well, maybe some time with your village friends would clear your mind about those thoughts that were beginning to harass you, about those questions your subconscious was asking you, ones you didn't want to answer.

“Are you sick or something?” your best friend asked as you sat by the lake. You looked at her with a frown.

“Why do you say so?” you wanted to know, swinging your legs over a rock.

“You're not smiling,” she joked, giving you nudge. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, yes, yes, of course,” you said nodding, looking into the distance. Maybe she could help you with those strange thoughts… “Well…”

The girl looked at you, blinking in confusion.

“What's wrong, (Y/N)?” she asked kindly, with a slightly shaky voice. “Lady Beneviento isn't treating you well? Has she hurt you?” she whispered, looking around.

You groaned at that insinuation, at having everyone worried about your well-being when it wasn't necessary.

“What? Of course she hasn’t. Donna would never hurt me, Olivia,” you said with a slightly brusque tone.

“Oh, okay, okay, I'm just asking,” your friend excused herself, making a reassuring gesture with her hands. “But something's worrying you…”

“Yes, well, it's just that…” you said, with a slightly shy tone, not knowing if you should really tell her your worries or if they were worries at all. “We are, we are so different…”

“Of course you are, she's a Lord,” Olivia said, with an amused laugh. “What a novelty.”

“No, I don't mean that, it's just…” you said, nervous, also looking everywhere. “Donna is always… She's always complaining about everything, it seems that my presence is annoying  to her.”

“I don't think it annoys her, (Y/N), I, I'm afraid that if it did, you wouldn't… You wouldn't be here,” the girl said, with a slightly scared tone.

“Okay, you're not helping me,” you protested, crossing your arms.

“You'll have to be a bit more specific, I don't know that woman and the little I know about her... It's not very... Flattering, let's say.”

“You're wrong, Donna is such a sweetheart, I'm sick of saying it,” you said in a serious, sincere tone. “Her problem is that... She, she doesn't seem to really like me. She always says that I'm annoying her, that I'm very clingy...”

“Oh...” your friend sighed, with a confused look.

“And I don't know if she really thinks that way or... If on the contrary, maybe, maybe she's just like that, you know? I don't know. I'm starting to think that she just loves me so she won't be alone.”

“Mm,” Olivia murmured thoughtfully. “I guess the best you can do is to clear up your doubts.”

“Oh, what a brilliant deduction,” you said with irony, spreading your arms in a comical way. “Yeah, thanks, but I don't know how.”

“Well… Maybe if you stop being so… You, you can check it out,” she murmured, making you turn your head quickly.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what they say: you don't realize what you have, until it's gone,” the young woman commented, looking at the sky. You nodded for her to continue. “Try leaving your affectionate and clingy side behind for a while, so you can see how she reacts.”

“Interesting,” you murmured, narrowing your eyes. “You mean to ignore Donna?”

“Yes, well… I'm sure that if she really loves you, she'll end up asking you to go back to the way you were, and if not… Well… If not…”

“No, don't say it, Donna loves me, I'm sure,” you said nervously, thinking about the risk of that test, the risk of it not going well.

“Then she'll have to prove it to you,” your friend said, with a haughty tone.

At least that conversation was useful to you.

At first that idea seemed silly, it went against your way of being, against the love you felt for the lady in black. Ignoring her could be dangerous, but it was true that you had never tried it either. You weren't capable, you just weren't capable.

As you walked back to the mansion, the idea was spinning around in your head, sounding better and better, even considering it funny. You trusted in the love that Donna said she felt for you but… The truth is, you were very anxious to check her reaction.

“Mm, Donna…” you purred in her ear as she read in bed, kissing her lips, her cheek, her neck…

She frowned, moving to get you to move away.

“I'm reading, tesoro, leave me alone,” she whispered in a voice that wasn't harsh, but somewhat stern.

“Well, you'll read tomorrow,” you whispered, insisting on your desire for nightly cuddles. Donna shook her head, letting you kiss her on the lips before placing a hand on your chest to stop you.

“(Y/N), I'm tired,” she growled, looking at you briefly and returning to her book.

You sighed, finally pulling away and shaking your head. Normally you would insist a little more, just enough to bring down the brunette's defenses and enjoy a night of passion but… The words, the advice of your friend echoed in your mind. It would be a good time to put your plan into action.

“Okay, good night,” you said quickly, covering yourself with the sheets, turning your back to her.

You could notice how the brunette put down her book. She was probably looking at you with a frown. You didn't know, but you hoped she was.

“Are you okay?” Donna asked, putting a hand on your shoulder.

You, with your eyes closed and a mischievous smile, nodded.

“Yes, I'm fine,” you said with your best dry and cold voice. “I just realized that I'm sleepy.”

“Oh, um, well, in that case…” she said, apparently confused, leaving the book on the bedside table and turning off the light. “We'd better sleep.”

“Yes,” you answered with the same coldness.

You noticed how the lady moved suddenly, surely alerted by that tone, but she didn't say anything, she just sighed, lying down next to you.

“Buonanotte”

Well, apparently your behavior unsettled the doll maker a little, but that strangeness and confusion weren't enough, besides, you didn't know if it was for better or worse, but... The truth is that it had been terribly funny for you.

The next day started like any other, or almost.

When you caressed the hand that grabbed your body from behind, you had to make an effort not to turn around and devour the lady with kisses like every morning, so as not to provoke those grunts of protest that you found adorable.

Biting your lip out of anger at not being able to act like always, you took her soft hand, slowly moving it away from your belly as you subtly got out of bed. Donna didn't wake up, so your plan could continue its course.

You showered, dressed, and walked to the kitchen. There was no sign of the brunette, she hadn't woken up.

Time passed and you whistled quietly in the kitchen as you ground the coffee beans. Yes, ignoring her was one thing, but neglecting her was something quite different, and after all, you loved making her breakfast, the only meal she allowed you to make.

“(Y/N)…” a hoarse voice interrupted your cheerful whistles. A comical figure, still dressed in her nightgown appeared at the door, Donna.

The lady, still sleepy, rubbed her eye, looking at you in confusion. You smiled wickedly to yourself as she yawned loudly, smiling tenderly, as usual.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” you said in a soft voice as she approached with a frown, fixing her messy hair from just waking up.

You quickly gave her a kiss on the lips, one that she didn't return. She seemed confused, good…

“You… You didn't wake me up,” the sleepy lady said with a voice broken by tiredness, trying to focus her vision on you.

“Of course I didn’t,” you said casually. “You told me you didn't like it so…”

“I don't like it,” she said quickly, frowning more. “I just, I just thought it was… Strange.”

“I didn't want to wake you up you, my love,” you said affectionately, running a hand over her face. “Look, I made some orange juice, do you fancy it?”

“Mm, yes, yes, I…” Donna stammered, blinking several times, as if something didn't fit, as if she suspected that your behavior had a reason. You hoped it wasn't like that. “Oh, you, you took a shower…”

You looked at yourself and nodded amused, putting the ground coffee in the old coffee maker and turning on the stove.

“Yeah, I take showers every day, honey,” you joked, shaking your head, pretending she was talking nonsense.

“You didn't wait for me, I thought you liked showering with me,” she commented, putting a hand on your shoulder, watching you toast some slices of bread.

“I couldn't wait for you to get up, Donna,” you said with a soft tone, but a mischievous look. “Did you want me to take a shower with you, my love?” you said with a fake pout, with a condescending voice that she, luckily, didn't know how to interpret. “I thought you liked to do it alone.”

“I like doing it alone,” she said, frowning again, stepping back proudly. “I just found it strange.”

“Mm,” you murmured with disinterest, looking away from her. “Go to take a shower, my love, I'll set the table.”

Donna looked at you strangely again, but nodded slowly, scratching her head and walking towards the door, giving you one last disoriented look.

“Um… Okay…” she whispered, finally disappearing from your presence.

You sighed in relief. Yes, it was funny to see Lady Beneviento confused, but your inner self screamed for you to throw yourself into her arms to don’t stop kissing her like every morning, telling her how much you loved her.

You would have to be strong if you wanted the strategy to work.

Donna went up to the dining room, where you were already waiting for her, having breakfast. Her black dress was already on her body and her silky hair was up in its usual updo, but her gaze was a little more serious than usual.

Without saying a word, well, as always, she sat down in front of you, moving her chair closer to the table and lifting her gaze briefly, as if she were analyzing yours.

You smiled innocently, taking a sip of your coffee.

Time passed slowly, and the lady didn't move, she didn't do anything, she didn't pour herself coffee, she didn't spread toast in oil, she simply looked at you nervously, you knew perfectly well why.

“Are you okay, my love? Aren't you hungry?” you asked, pretending a worried face.

She blinked, snapping out of her thoughts and shaking her head.

“Yes, I... I was, I was waiting,” she stammered, without taking her eye off you.

“Waiting?” you asked amused, pouring some sugar on you cup. “What are you waiting for, darling?”

“Um, well… Aren’t..? Aren't you going to do the usual?” she asked in a rougher tone, with an unpleasant gesture, crossing her arms.

“Mm? What do you mean?” you asked, holding back your laughter, keeping your composure.

 She groaned, looking away again.

“You know, that nonsense of ‘preparing my morning coffee with love and lots of kisses so I can have a good day’,” Donna said in a mocking, almost unpleasant tone.

You opened your eyes wide, pretending to realize it and shook your head soon after.

“Oh, but that's just cheesy to you, isn't it?” you asked in a calm tone, picking up another piece of toast. “I thought you hated it.”

“I, I…” the doll maker stammered, changing her confused face to a proud one, which indicated to you that your strategy was paying off from the first moment. “I hate it, tesoro.”

“Really? I can do it for you if you want,” you joked, taking her cup of coffee, which she suddenly snatched from you, shaking her head effusively.

“No, no, I've already told you that I hate it,” she said without looking at you, serving herself the coffee.

“Sure, sure,” you sighed, biting your lip at her nervous attitude. “Do you want some juice?”

You didn't know if she was really disoriented, if she really missed your sentimentality, but it was still too early to tell. Deciphering her behavior was always a task worthy of research.

The rest of the day didn't give you many more opportunities to test her patience and your feelings, until the afternoon came.

The afternoon was the moment when you always went down to the workshop with a cup of tea in your hand, ready to cuddle your girlfriend as much as you could, to hug her, sit on her lap and caress and kiss her while she worked.

It was tempting, Donna was tempting. Her stoic pose, her shy caresses, her annoyed sighs that betrayed a certain comfort… Of course, that was the hardest part for you. Not even a day had passed and you were already crazy for her kisses, for showing her your love. Again, you would have to be stronger.

“Ha, you lost!” Angie mocked, pointing at you while you clumsily hid behind a piece of furniture.

You didn't really feel like playing hide and seek that day, but if you didn't, you knew Angie would destroy your ears with her protests.

“You found me, again,” you said, dusting yourself off and looking at the clock, sighing. It was time, time for your way to the basement, for a well-deserved ration of annoying kisses and hugs to the brunette.

That day you wouldn't go down.

“Loser, silly loser…” Angie mocked, humming childishly and walking towards the sofa. “I plan to beat you every time.”

“Really?” you said amused, arching an eyebrow. “We'll have to see about that…” you whispered with a challenging look. “Come on, it's your turn.”

“What?” the doll asked confused, also looking at the clock. “Do you want to keep playing?”

“Yeah, sure, why not?” you said nodding, with a fake smile.

Angie approached you with a slow step, looking you up and down.

“Aren't you going to go see my Donna?” she asked with a different tone, as if the puppet herself was confused.

“No,” you said, letting yourself fall on the sofa, picking up a book that was on the table. “I don't want to disturb her. I know she doesn't like it.”

“Um… Of course, she doesn't like it…” Angie murmured, making you frown. “You're very strange, silly, silly…”

“No, I’m not. I just want to be nice for once and let her work in peace, I know I'm very annoying,” you murmured, checking to your dismay that the book wasn't in your language. Great, you couldn't be distracted by it.

“Yes, you're a sticky pain, but…” Angie said, with a nervous voice and pose, lowering the book so she could look at your face.

You looked back at her, studying her gestures, and her words.

“But?” you asked curiously, with a more serious tone.

“Oh, nothing, nothing,” the doll said, getting off the couch and waving her hand, moving away from you.

“Okay…” you murmured with an amused smile. “Come, help me find a book I can read,” you said, clapping your hands and getting up.

So you had a fun time, reading that adventure book with Angie. You had almost forgotten that in the basement there was someone who hadn't had her tea…

A sudden sound alerted you. The elevator door suddenly opened and nervous heels quickly approached where you were. Donna appeared in the living room, breathing heavily, looking for something everywhere. That nervousness ended when her eye made contact with yours.

“Cazzo…” she hissed, sighing in relief. “(Y/N)…”

“Oh, hi, honey, are you okay?” you said, putting the book aside and walking towards the lady in black, who was rubbing her eye while shaking her head. “What's wrong, my love? Is it a crisis?”

“No, no,” she denied, sighing again and looking at you strangely. “You’ve scared me.”

“Have I scared you?” you asked amused, with your hands on your hips. “I haven't done anything, Donna.”

“Yes, that's it, I…” Donna said, interrupting your performance. “You, you haven't gone down to the workshop,” she said in a small voice, looking at you out of the corner of her eye.

“I didn't want to disturb you,” you said simply, with a tender smile.

“Oh, okay, I…” the lady in black stammered, with an exaggerated look of disinterest, nodding slowly.

“What's wrong, honey? Did you miss me?” you said with an amused look, pouting. Donna stood proudly, with a serious expression, shaking her head.

“No, of course I didn’t. It's been a while since I was this calm,” she said looking at her nails, her worried expression changing radically.

“I'm glad to know it,” you said, pretending that those words hadn't cruelly pierced your heart.

Hold on, (Y/N), hold on…

“Mm, I just found it strange… You didn't come to disturb me, I thought maybe… Maybe…” The pride in her words diminished little by little, closing her eye before finishing. “I thought you had left.”

“Where? You know that if I go somewhere I have the courtesy to let you know, Donna,” you said with a calm, soft and tender tone.

Again, you had to suppress the desire of your hands to cup her face, to caress her soft skin. It was much harder than you thought.

“Yes, that's why I thought, that, that maybe…” she stammered, darkening her gaze, avoiding yours. “Nevermind, it's, it's nonsense.”

“Okay,” you said, calmly. “Don't worry, my love, I'm not going anywhere, I was just reading.”

“What…? What were you reading?” the lady asked, with a strange expression, playing with her hands, as if she was terribly nervous about something.

You ignored those gestures, ones that only confirmed your small victories, and walked towards the sofa.

“Mm, this one,” you said, showing her the book. “It's quite entertaining.”

“I see,” Donna said with a slightly uncomfortable smile, coming a little closer, slowly, as if something had scared her. “Maybe, maybe you'd like me to… Read with you.”

“Do you want to read with me?” you asked with genuine confusion.

You certainly didn't expect her reaction to be that fast. It's true that you often read together, but Donna always ended up getting tired of your kisses and your nice words. It was very rare that she asked you to do it, you always did it first.

“Yes, well... It's been a long time since we did it,” the lady whispered with a smile that seemed almost pleading to you.

You shrugged, appealing to your strength. No, you couldn't fall yet.

“But Donna... You always complained that you couldn't read a paragraph with me by your side,” you said calmly.

The lady in black opened her mouth to say something, but she stopped at the last moment, nodding defeated.

“Besides, I'm sure you've read this book a thousand times. You're just going to get bored,” you commented, looking away and sighing listlessly, sitting back down on the couch.

“Certo, you’re, you’re right…” she murmured, sighing tiredly as you pretended to continue reading, watching the lady from the corner of your eye.

Donna shifted, sitting curiously beside you, as if she didn’t know what to do, what to say, or if she even wanted to do it either.

There was a tense moment of silence until, out of surprise, a soft hand placed your hair behind your ear, her hand.

“I got really scared,” Donna whispered, moving closer, taking your hand. You frowned, glancing at her briefly. “I thought you were gone, that you had abandoned me.”

“What nonsense, why would I want to leave?” you asked distractedly, without looking at her, something very complicated, but that you managed with less and less effort.

“I don't know but...” she whispered, taking the book away from your hands, so you pretended to grunt in protest.

“Donna, I was reading,” you said, subtly imitating her protests. You hoped it was subtle enough.

“I know, but... I... I want to love you so much...” she purred seductively, starting to kiss your neck, something that made you repress a pleasurable gasp. Of course, that attitude wasn’t very common in the doll maker. “…To thank you for being here, with me...”

“Mmm Donna,” you said, interrupting her increasingly ardent kisses just as she did, with a hand on her chest. “No, okay? I don't feel like it now.”

“Why? You always feel like it,” she protested, not in a cold tone, but in a melancholic, sad one. “Tesoro… Please… I want to make love to you…”

“I don’t feel like it, Donna, I’m tired,” you said, pleased by that sudden submission, amused, perhaps excessively, by the quick effect your strategy had.

Yes, seeing Donna begging for your company was pleasurable. It was too soon to give up, even though you were wishing for it.

“Ugh, get out…” you said abruptly, pushing the lady away, leaving her completely disoriented. “Don’t bother me, Donna.”

“What? Don’t bother you?” she asked, standing up abruptly, shaking her head, mouth agape. “Qual è il tuo problema?!”

“Excuse me? Donna, the language…” you scoffed, hiding your evil smile behind the book again. “Come on, don't be mad.”

“Don't be mad?” she asked, with a nervous laugh. “This is unbelievable…”

“Come on, what's wrong with you? Didn't you say you were sick of me being clingy?” you asked, pretending to be focused on the words that, obviously, you weren't reading.

“Yes, and I am, you're a pain, (Y/N),” Donna said with a hurtful tone that your heart quickly dodged, you knew she was just nervous.

“So what's wrong with you? Shouldn't you be relieved because I left you alone?” you asked with the same gloomy tone.

The lady laughed nervously again, running a hand through her hair, but relaxing immediately.

“Yes, I'm very happy to be able to breathe,” she said with a mocking tone, with a dark look.

“I see that,” you scoffed. “Shh, be quiet, I want to read.”

“Arrgh!” Donna growled, clenching her fists tightly on either side of her hips. “Have a good time!” she shrieked, walking quickly towards the hallway again.

“You too, my love!” you shouted in a tone devoid of annoyance, ignoring her shouts. “And don't be mad, you look very ugly when you are!”

“Vaffanculo!” she shrieked from the hallway with an angry growl.

“What does that mean?” you asked in a whisper to Angie, who looked at the scene in astonishment as if she were watching a tennis match.

“Do you really want to know?” the doll asked, in her usual mocking tone.

You laughed amused, turning a page and shaking your head.

“Mm, I don't think so,” you whispered, arching your eyebrows.

“Hey, silly girl, start talking,” Angie said, putting your book down again and climbing onto the couch.

“Mm?” you murmured, frowning.

“I know you're up to something, and I don't like it at all,” she hissed, pointing her finger at you, staring directly into your soul.

“Me? I'm not up to anything,” you said passively, looking at the hallway where Donna had gone, wondering if she had really gotten that angry and above all, why.

“Liar...” the puppet hissed. “Be very careful, silly girl, Angie is always watching.”

You smiled with an innocent look, returning to that book, or rather, to your thoughts.

Your strategy had been a complete success. The lady in black had been completely disoriented and confused by your change of attitude, and that was what you wanted. Her irrational rage only told you that you didn't have to worry, she loved you, but your incipient insecurities made you continue with that behavior for a few more days.

The lack of affection, hugs, caresses... Took its toll on you, but, determined to prove to yourself that she liked the clingy way you were, you wanted to pull the rope a bit further.

There were no romantic breakfasts or visits to the workshop, there were no cuddles, affection, kisses... There was nothing. The brunette's attitude was distant, as always, but with a touch of annoyance, anger.

Bearing that cold look was increasingly difficult. Not giving in to your impulses to go down and cuddle Donna was already unbearable. Reading no longer served as a distraction so, during one of those afternoons, you decided to leave the house for a walk in the woods.

While you walked, you meditated on your actions, you thought about Donna, about whether she was really suffering as much as she seemed.

You thought you were just being cruel, that you were torturing her, but when you thought about previous weeks, about her subtle contempt, about her apathy, your desire to continue with that reprimand didn’t diminish.

You were never vengeful, you never let yourself be carried away by that dark side and you began to discover why. It was addictive, dangerously addictive.

The sun shone less intensely as you threw stones off the cliff. The afternoon had passed quickly. Thinking, planning, meditating... That made you completely forget about the time. At least the temptation to run into her arms had gone unnoticed by you.

You opened the door of the mansion and walked slowly. The silence of that place was always disturbing but... What you heard was even more so.

An agonizing sob reached your ears, making you stop in your tracks. Your legs trembled when you recognized it.

“Donna, Donna…” Angie's voice sounded calm, too calm. “Donna, no…”

“She's gone! Porca puttana! She's gone!” Donna screamed, making you freeze in fear.

After that furious scream, loud noises accompanied by a furious panting ran through the old walls.

“Donna, stop breaking things!” Angie yelled after another noise which revealed that something fragile had broken into a thousand pieces.

You shook your head with a hand on your mouth in shock. It had been a long time since the lady lost her mind like that, a long time. You couldn't help but think it was your fault.

“Donna, you cut yourself, you silly, silly Donna!” Angie shrieked, surely trying to control her owner's rage.

You took a breath and began to walk slowly, with shaky legs.

Your little reading corner was a mess. The table was upside down on the floor, the cups and books that were always there were scattered on the floor, broken in a thousand pieces.

Donna was in a corner, her back against the wall and her head buried in her knees, crying inconsolably. You approached slowly, not wanting to draw her attention.

“È colpa mia…” the doll maker sobbed, with a muffled moan. “She left because of me.”

Angie shook her head as she hugged her tenderly, trying to get her to come back to her senses.

Suddenly, the puppet turned her head and looked at you, gasping in surprise.

“Oh, you silly, silly!” she shouted euphorically, pointing at you as she jumped up and down on the wood. “Look, Donna, look, it's the silly, silly girl,” she insisted, pulling the brunette's hand, who slowly looked up.

“Donna, my love…” you sighed, with a sad, regretful look.

“(Y/N)…” she whispered, looking at you, blinking quickly and breathing nervously. “(Y/N)!” she shrieked, crawling on the floor and grabbing your legs in a pathetic way, which made you step back. “Don't leave! Don't abandon me!”

“What? Oh, please, my love… Re-relax, I haven't gone anywhere, I was walking through the woods,” you said nervously, bending down to take her away from that pitiful hug, taking her hands and helping her sit on the couch “Donna, my love, react, come to your senses, my precious Donna…”

“You wanted to leave… You're gone,” she stammered, blinking erratically, shaking her head, unable to stop crying.

Your heart broke just like those tea cups, into a thousand pieces.

“Shhh, no, no darling, I'm not going to leave, I'm still, I'm still here with you…” you said, caressing her face, her hands, staining yourself with a red moisture that came from a wound, probably the cut Angie was talking about.

“Oh, wow, darling… you're bleeding,” you whispered worriedly, repressing your desire to cry. “Wait a minute, I'm going, I'm going to heal you. Angie, please, keep an eye on her.”

“Aye!” the doll shouted, taking your place on the couch.

There were no words. You simply healed that horrible wound in silence while the brunette sobbed more and more weakly, ashamed of her madness, unable to look at you.

“Donna, my love,” you whispered while you healed her, looking at her out of the corner of your eye. “How could you think that I had abandoned you? There's no place I'm better off than with you…”

“It doesn't seem like it,” she murmured, wiping away a tear, looking away, fighting back her sobs. “You don't want to be with me.”

“Oh, wow, so now you dedicate yourself to guessing people's feelings, huh?” you joked with a tender, amused smile. “Then change your job because you're not doing it well…”

“Stop with the stupid jokes, you know perfectly well why I'm saying this,” the lady snapped, removing her injured hand from yours.

You snorted, gripping it tighter again.

“Stay still, will you? I have to heal this,” you murmured, shaking your head. “Donna…” you growled when she struggled against your grip again.

“Leave me alone, stop pretending you love me,” she protested. “If you don't want to be here with me, tell me.”

“You're stubborn, huh?” you said, sighing, with a colder look. “Stop talking nonsense.”

“It's not nonsense!” Donna shrieked, making you back off. “You've shown me this last week. You you don't love me anymore, you don't kiss me. You’re, you're not with me when I work on my dolls. It seems as if I disgust you…”

“I'm not disgusted by you,” you said in a serious, almost brusque tone. “I love you with all my soul.”

“Do you? Then why don't you show it to me anymore?” she asked furiously again.

It was time to be honest.

“I could ask you the same thing, Donna,” you whispered, shaking your head, passing a bandage over her injured hand. “I've always, always tried to give you all my love but you… You seemed to reject it. You always complained about me being too clingy, you hated it, do you know how it made me feel?”

“I don't hate it,” she murmured, with a different tone, with a dark but tender look. “I don't hate it… I don't hate it!”

You nodded nervously.

“I love your kisses, your hugs! I love when you come to see me, when you sit on my lap and say nice things to me! I love your smile, your joy! I love that joy I don't have and can only see in you!” she shouted nervously, confessing the truth you wanted to hear, one you ignored, one for which you caused all that suffering in poor Donna.

“Do you…?” you asked a bit surprised, relaxing Donna with your caresses on her cheek while she shook her head. “Do you...? Do you really the way I am?”

“Yes, I love the way you are, I, I like you being clingy. I love when you don't let me breathe, when you remind me that you love me... you always try to cheer me up… I love you, I want that light that I'm unable to transmit, I want the light in your eyes, the love you give me, the love I can't live without…” she said not looking at you, pressing her lips together to suppress her shame at those words, words that moved you.

“Wow, that's very sweet, Donna,” you said, smiling, bringing her face closer to yours to kiss her lips softly, lovingly, like you had wanted to do for so long. “Forgive me, I was the one who acted that way because… Because I thought it really annoyed you and…”

“You've never annoyed me,” she said, interrupting you. “If I've behaved like an idiot it's because… Because… I'm, I'm scared.”

“You're scared…” you repeated in a soft whisper.

She nodded.

“I'm afraid of letting myself be carried away by your addictive love and that, that one day you won't... won't be by my side,” she said with a sad tone, taking your other hand. “I know, I know I don't... I don't know how to love the same way you do, I know I'm a grumpy fool but it's just that... I've never known what love is until... Until I met you.”

“I understand, darling,” you said with an understanding tone, kissing her again. “Relax, it's all over now... I'll give you all those overwhelming affections that I now know you love...”

Donna smiled at your mischievous caresses, laughing at last, nervous and shy, lighting you up with the joy on her face, one that soon vanished, when the lady grabbed your hands tightly with a pleading look.

“Per favore, (Y/N), I’m begging you. Don’t do this to me again... Don't ignore me ever again, please...”

Mizu, femininity, and fallen sparrows

In my last post about Mizu and Akemi, I feel like I came across as overly critical of Mizu given that Mizu is a woman who - in her own words - has to live as a man in order to go down the path of revenge.

If she is ever discovered to be female by the wrong person, she will not only be unable to complete her quest, but there's a good chance that she'll be arrested or killed.

So it makes complete sense for Mizu to distance herself as much as possible from any behavior that she feels like would make someone question her sex.

I felt so indignant toward Mizu on my first couple watchthroughs for this moment. Why couldn't Mizu bribe the woman and her child's way into the city too? If Mizu is presenting as a man, couldn't she claim to be the woman's escort?

However, this moment makes things pretty clear. Mizu knows all too well the plight of women in her society. She knows it so well that she cannot risk ever finding herself back in their position again. She helps in what little way she can - without drawing attention to herself.

Mizu is not a hero and she is not one to make of herself a martyr - she will not set herself on fire to keep others warm. There's room to argue that Mizu shouldn't prioritize her quest over people's lives, but given the collateral damage Mizu can live with in almost every episode of season 1, Mizu is simply not operating under that kind of morality at this point. ("You don't know what I've done to reach you," Mizu tells Fowler.)

And while I still feel like Mizu has an obvious and established blind spot when it comes to Akemi because of their differences in station, such that Mizu's judgment of Akemi and actions in episode 5 are the result of prejudice rather than the result of Mizu's caution, I also want to establish that Mizu is just as caged as Akemi is, despite her technically having more freedom while living as a man.

Mizu can hide her mixed race identity some of the time, and she can hide her sex almost all of the time, but being able to operate outside of her society's strict rules for women does not mean she cannot see their plight.

It does not mean she doesn't hurt for them.

Back to Mizu and collateral damage, remember that sparrow?

While Mizu is breaking into Boss Hamata's manse, she gets startled by a bird and kills it on reflex. She then cradles it in her hands - much more tenderly than we've seen Mizu treat almost anything up to this point in the season:

She then puts it in its nest, with its unhatched eggs. Almost like she's trying to make the death look natural. Or like an accident.

You see where I'm going with this.

When Mizu kills Kinuyo, Mizu lingers in the moment, holding the body tenderly:

And btw a lot of stuff about this show hit me hard, but this remains the biggest gut punch of them all for me, Mizu holding that poor girl's body close, GOD

When Mizu arranges the "scene of the crime," Kinuyo's body is delicate, birdlike. And Mizu is so shaken afterward that she gets sloppy. She's horrified at this kill to the point that she can't bring herself to take another innocent life - the boy who rats her out.

MIZU'S ONE MOMENT OF SOFTNESS AND MERCY, COMING ON THE HEELS OF HER NEEDING TO KILL A GIRL TO SPARE HER THE WORST FATE THAT THIS RIGID SOCIETY HAS TO OFFER WOMEN, AND TO SPARE A BROTHEL FULL OF INNOCENT WOMEN WHO ARE THE CASTOFFS OF SOCIETY, NEARLY RESULTS IN ALL OF THEIR DEATHS

No wonder Mizu is as stoic and cold as she is.

And no wonder Mizu has no patience for Akemi whatsoever right before the terrible reveal and the fight breaks out:

Speaking of Akemi - guess who else is compared to a bird!

The plumage is more colorful, a bit flashier. But a bird is a bird.

And, uh

Yeah.

I like to think that Mizu killing the sparrow is not only foreshadowing for what she must do to Kinuyo, but is also a representation of the choice she makes on Akemi's behalf. She decides to cage the bird because she believes the bird is "better off." Better off caged than... dead.

But because Mizu doesn't know Akemi or her situation, she of course doesn't realize that the bird is fated to die if it is caged and sent back home.

Mizu is clearly not happy, or pleased, or satisfied by allowing Akemi to be dragged back to her father:

But softness and mercy haven't gotten Mizu anywhere good, recently.

There is so much tragedy layered into Mizu's character, and it includes the things she has to witness and the choices she makes - or believes she has to make - involving women, when she herself can skirt around a lot of what her society throws at women. Although, I do believe that it comes at the cost of a part of Mizu's soul.

After all, I'm gonna be haunted for the rest of this show by Mizu's very first prayer in episode 1:

"LET" her die. Because as Ringo points out, she doesn't "know how" to die.

Kind of like another bird in this show:

fuck the institution of marriage i am nobody’s spouse let alone a stay-at-home one

*clears throat* well, you know what? nevermind everything single thing i have just said

winter time donna

drew donna (and angie) for an assignment,,.. i think i'm satisfied with how it turned out but also oh my god painting is NOT my strong suit

have the whole 8 MINUTES AND 52 SECONDS timelapse omfg i struggled so much

babygirl the way you forsake your happiness on your relentless quest to vengeance, your complicated relationship with gender and the way you're covered in blood have bewitched me body and soul