Headcanon That When Kaz Gets Questions At The Crow Club And Slat About Where Jesper Went, He Tells Everyone

headcanon that when Kaz gets questions at the Crow Club and Slat about where Jesper went, he tells everyone that he's "off entertaining some mercher". so naturally everyone starts wondering which Council member he's sleeping with and asking why he's suddenly into old white dudes and Kaz just lets it happen cause he thinks it's funny.

then Jesper shows up again at the Slat after a couple weeks of getting settled with Wylan, and everyone's either calling him a traitor or asking him how Schenck is in bed. and Wylan's just standing there next to him laughing his ass off. eventually Jesper gets so fed up he gets up on a table and announces to everyone that he's fucking Wylan Van Eck, former demo man and newest member of the Council, not some wrinkly white asshole. everyone cheers and Wylan goes bright red, and Jesper is very pleased with himself.

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shooting myself in the back of the head so my suicide looks suspicious and i waste everyones time

Wylan, writing a letter to Colm: dear Colm. I hope you are well, and not overworking yourself on the farm.

Wylan: Today, Jesper admitted to me that he does not enjoy Kerch opera or musical plays, and finds orchestra performances "boring".

Wylan: In light of this blatant disrespect and his clear inability to properly appreciate and enjoy true art, I'd like to return him.

Wylan: of course, I will pay for passage back to Novyi Zem, and will provide you with a considerable check for the inconvenience, as well as the disappointment of believing you are finally rid of him only to have to take him back.

Wylan: with love, Wylan.

Jesper, writing the letter for him:

boys confuse me

i was going to say man but his ass is younger and anoying than me so

but i sent a email about how he ispired me to name my butterfly Moth and he responded with Two

crazy to me how in the shadow and bone show, the first person inej ever kills, she kills saving kaz. even crazier, SHE KILLS THE DUDE IN A CHURCH

AND THE LOOK ON KAZ’S FACE ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME