Linger, Lee Chan.

— linger, lee chan.

angst | 594

chan throws his head back as he empties the liquid in the small shot glass he's gripping tightly in his hand. he doesn't even remember exactly how much alcohol he'd consume at this point but he vaguely sees the concerned look the bartender standing opposite him shoots him as he collects back all the empty glasses scattered across the counter.

everything is a blur to him, the entire night feels unreal. all the little events that eventually led up to the argument with you that occurred hours ago and the aftermath of the argument — you leaving and him sitting in this bar alone, drinking his pain away.

he feels the familiar hot, stinging feeling behind his eyes again and he quickly downs another shot, hoping to numb the feeling before angrily wiping his tears away.

that's the issue with you, he hears your voice, you're always so emotional. he mutters a soft “sorry” in response before realising that the voice was in his own head. he wishes that everything else was just in his head too.

he starts thinking, a big mistake on his part. but he starts thinking about how his world came crumbling down when the words “it's over” left your lips, the very same lips that used to tell him how much you loved him and how he was your everything, the same lips that would kiss all his pain away. he starts thinking about how he's supposed to live his life without you in it, you were all he's ever known and loved. he starts thinking about how he'd get through tonight once he leaves this bar and goes back home.

home, he contemplates with a bitter laugh. can he still call it his home when you're no longer in it? when all that's left there to haunt him is the ghost of the love you once had for him.

he somehow manages to stumble back to the apartment on his own and he opens the door and just as he'd guessed, it was cold, dark and empty. you weren't there to welcome him home with your warm, comforting hug. you weren't there to take care of his pathetic, drunk self. you weren't there and you won't ever be anymore but traces of you lingered. they were littered everywhere in every single corner of the apartment, mocking him relentlessly. there's no escaping.

he hangs his keys up on one of the two hooks on the wall in the doorway and notices the one next to his was empty. he opens the fridge to get a drink and there was one last can of your favourite soda. he goes into the bathroom to get himself cleaned up and his toothbrush sits alone in the holder and his towel was the only one on the rack. he opens the wardrobe to see your side had been completely cleaned out. he goes to bed with your side unoccupied and for the first time in years he notices how big the bed actually is.

he misses the way you'd cuddle up to him every single night despite the sweltering summer heat, he misses the smell of the shampoo in your hair whenever he snuggles his face into the back of your neck, he misses the sound of your light snores because you'd always fall asleep before him. he miss you.

he closes his eyes when tears threaten to spill for the countless time that night and his last thought before consciousness finally ebbs away is how everything was real and now he's all alone.

imagine if one direction was a real group and not just something we all made up

Summoning all my woozi moots for my new butch girlfriend reveal 👹👹

( pic from twt/not mine )

it’s been a pleasure being stood up by one direction with you all <3

I start a new job this week and I’m sat dreaming of silly scenarios where junhui would be finding ways to calm me down and stop stressing 🫠

my brain is running away with me fr right now lmao HELP

my love you've opened the door to a nonstop brain rot AND I CAN'T STOP

first of all congrats omg i hope you do well!! rooting for you <3 and second of all,,,jun calming you down. you know I'm going to eat this up.

warning: absolute fluff

I think Jun would be the happiest to hear about a new job, a new promotion, or anything like that. No because I can imagine his face - pinched and confused when you sit him down and it instantly melts into such a happy smile when you break the news to him. He'd be over the moon, hugging you to his chest - "are you serious? holy shit, that's- that's so great, I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy for you, angel, yes, I am"

He'd be more excited than you at some point, being your number-one hype man and making sure you're absolutely ready to face this with a smile. So when he notices just how anxious you're feeling, he'd get so worried. Junhui would be so concerned, just trying to find ways to make it better and let you know he's right beside you.

I feel like he's rather quiet when it comes to offering help - sticking to acts of service rather than using his words. Sticking to you like glue, helping around the house with the excuse of spending time with you all just to make sure you're okay. Getting you small gifts throughout the week, leaving sticky notes on the fridge, sending you absolute nonsense messages throughout the day to pull a smile out of you, and taking you into his arms every chance he gets.

He'll care silently until he corners you in the kitchen one night. He'll brush your hair behind your ears before looking into your eyes - "you can tell me what's wrong, baby. tell me what's going on, yeah? I love you"

He'll listen to every word you have to say. He'll let you curl up into you and press your face into his shoulder as you lay all your worries in front of him. Junhui will absentmindedly fiddle with your fingers, and play with your hair as he listens because he's also getting a little anxious as he realises how much the nerves have been bothering you.

"I can't tell you it won't be anxious, baby. Because it will be at first, it always is. For maybe, a couple hours? A day?" He'll try. "But I know you, I know my girl. you're going to do so well, I know that"

"Don't forget you have me, okay? I'm always here. I know I can't really be there...on site. But, you're still going to get my hourly check-in messages! and you can call me anytime, no? I'll always be here, I will"

If you have a little cry because of the anxiety, Junhui will be right there to hold your hand through it. He's reminding you to breathe, baby, breathe for me and he rubs your back as you try to come back, being so so careful and gentle with you. He'll cradle your face in his palms and pout exaggeratedly once you've calmed down, trying to pull a smile out of you. Once he's got you all back to him, he'll tug until you're entangled in him, heartbeat against your ear.

"I wish I could make it better, baby, I really do" He'll stroke his fingers down your back. "Hey, It's going to be okay, okay? You have me. It's tough, baby, I know, I'm sorry. But I promise, I'm going to be right there with you. You won't be alone in this, not for a second. I'm always here"

"You're going to do great, just like you've always been. I'm so proud of you. So proud, you don't understand"

"I love you so much, angel. You have me, right here. I'm here"

OKAY THIS WAS VERY RUSHED AND VERY OUT OF ORDER BECAUSE I WENT INTO A WORD VOMIT RATHER THAN A PROPERLY STRUCTURED WORK. ( also it's past midnight so I have no idea what I'm writing rn, I feel like I'm possessed. I'll prolly write something properly worded based on this too cause it was just TOO ADORABLE )

thank you.

"dumpling"

tldr: all the ways jun uses your nickname a/n: i love him so bad. i've been waiting to post this forever.

slobbers: around a mouthful of food

“dumpling,” he sprays it, more than says it, but you look at him nonetheless. your chopsticks paused midair, a clump of noodles hanging precariously over the rug; the rug you’d picked out together for your new living room. he liked this rug, but the one in your new bedroom was his favorite. 

“this is going to be fun. living with you, i mean. it’ll be a good time.” he stumbled over his words, overwhelmed with feeling but unable to express it. you seemed to get the point, smiling wide as you opened your mouth to slurp your noodles. he meant it too, this first night in your shared place together was just the start of, what he hoped would be, an amazing adventure. 

‘i love you, dumpling.” he smiled at you, confident you felt the same even if you hadn’t nodded in agreement enthusiastically at his words, cheeks still too full of lo mein to give a proper response to his soft words. as he watched you swallow your dinner, he leaned closer, bringing a gentle hand to your cheek, “you’ve got sauce on your face.”

taunts: when he’s winning a game

“dumpling” your head whips around, hearing his sing-songy voice from the darkness ahead. or was it behind? you can’t tell. this wing of the hybe building was dark at this time of night and it had been his wonderful idea to play hide and seek…in the dark. and now he was hiding somewhere in a building you aren’t that familiar with, tormenting you from the safety of said darkness. 

“i see you…” you whipped around again, aiming your phone flashlight at the dark corner of the conference room. were those footsteps you heard? how is he so quiet? maybe you should put a collar with a little bell on him, one to match your cat at home. lost in thought, you almost miss the movement against the wall. turning quickly, you brandish your flashlight. 

“ah! my eyes!” his hand goes up, protecting his pupils from the bright light in an entirely dark room. you hold the flashlight in place, pleased to see him struggle after he tormented you with this little chase around the dark halls of hybe. plus, you were scared if it was dark again, he’d slink off somewhere else and the game would start all over. he waved the hand not covering his eyes at you,  “put that thing down, and let's go home. i’ll give you your prize for winning…”

cackles: at your expense

“dumpling!” he barked out in a laugh. you grabbed quickly for a napkin to dab the steaming broth off your cheeks. you two were out on a hotpot date and you had slurped your noodles a little too hard causing hot, spicy soup to splash across your face. you were not hurt, just embarrassed, especially as he continued to laugh at your fumble. it even splattered onto your cute top.

“are you okay?” he giggled even as he asked this, passing you another napkin to get the sprinkle off your forehead. you took the napkin, but not without pouting at him, hoping to garner some sympathy. He laughed harder, making your pout into a full-blown frown, something he never wanted to see, especially if he caused it. 

“i’m sorry, dumpling. are you alright?” he reached for your hand across the table, offering some comfort to you, easing the embarrassment you felt. feeling your hand wrapped up in his did make you feel better. and the broth wasn’t that hot. maybe the pouting wasn’t necessary. his caring demeanor broke as he let out another giggle, “you’re just so cute, dumpling!”

calls out: while dead asleep 

“dumpling~” you’re only half awake when you hear it. his back was pressed to yours and you had assumed he was asleep. he’d had a long day and had basically passed out as soon as you two had gone to bed. you’d stayed up and played on your phone for a little while before settling down yourself. 

“dumpling~” you heard it again, clearer this time and more whiny. this time you rolled over, your front now pressed to his back. you debated waking him up, knowing he had to be up early for his schedule, but when he called out a third time, your debate ended. shaking him lightly you woke him up. 

“what’s going on? are you okay?” he was confused as to why you had woken him up, assuming something must be wrong. he was still half-asleep so he only half understood when you explained to him he’s been calling out to you in his sleep. you were just about to ask if he was having a bad dream when you were cut off by his stomach rumbling, “i think i’m just hungry, dumpling.”

whoops: when he’s proud of you

“dumpling!” he shot up from the couch as soon as he saw ‘winner’ flash across your half of the screen. you’d been in an intense mario kart tournament with wonwoo and you had just won the final race, winning the whole thing in a completely unexpected upset. the rest of the boys stared at the screen, a little shocked at the result.

“i knew you could do it!” he folded you into a bone-crushing hug, celebrating like you’d just won gold at the olympics instead of some silly video game. but he was proud of you and wanted you to know it. he pulled back to look at your face, a smile stretching across his entire face. he pulled you back into his arms, relishing in your victory. 

“i’m so proud of you,” he whispered in your ear, causing your cheeks to heat up, bashful about his confession in the room full of people, despite that it was said for only you to hear. he pulled you out of the hug for real this time, and planted a soft kiss on your cheek, deepening your blush. “wonwoo, since you lost, you have to fund our next date.”