THE JONAS (brothers)

THE JONAS’ (brothers)

THE EVENS 

THE EVAS.

I said that I wasn’t going to spend 2020 defending bisexuality against biphobes but y’all decided to start the year off ripping open the domestic violence wounds a bi woman has had to deal with for eight fucking years so I have a few things to say. I’m not going to be posting links and shit because all of this is easily researched online. It’s a long-standing situation and if you aren’t willing to read through the reports of her abuse, the original case, the details of their divorce, then you shouldn’t be opening your fucking mouth now!

Amber and JD were only married for 15mos after having been together for a total of less than 4 years. They met on set of a movie in 2011 and moved in less than a year later. He is 23 years older than her, far more established in their shared industry, and she was fairly new to acting and the public eye at the time. 

She filed for divorce on grounds of domestic violence. She came out of those cases with a divorce and a $7 million settlement that she donated, in its entirety, to charities serving domestic violence survivors and children. 

This was back in 2017. Since then, she has not publicly made a show about the marriage or the abuse allegations. She has taken to more feminist activism and talks about her responsibility as a person to use her platform to make the world better. She’s moved on.

But now they want to release audio that has existed, presumably, from the very beginning, that could have been produced and shared easily when the case was active and JD had every opportunity, as everyone in Court does, to present his own evidence in his defense. 

The first “break” of these clips on Twitter were intentionally cut to less that 60 second snippets that removed any context from anything being said, except for Amber admitting to hitting him. And now everyone has accepted that means she’s the real abuser, because even “if” JD abused her, she shouldn’t have hit back. Nevermind that two seconds later in the same part of the conversation, he claims the “only” time he threw something at her was because she was also throwing things–but by everyone’s logic, that should be an indictment against him.

Notice how now the narrative has changed entirely–he’s no longer guilty, despite the evidence that was presented publicly and in the Court, which was the grounds of Amber being granted a restraining order in the first place, because a recording of her admitting to hitting him and throwing things erases all of that! You have people saying “men can be abused WITHOUT BEING ABUSIVE” which is true! It’s simply not true here.

Even if we didn’t know the history of his abuse of her in specific, he has dozens of cases and allegations going back to 1989–when he was 20 years old and attacked a cop who was responding to an incident in JD’s hotel room. He has literally been a violent, alcoholic, drug addicted mess since he was a teenager. He is a grown man with millions of dollars and every resource in the world open to him, so much so that he brags about spending $30k/mo on wine alone, and he has chosen to allow his substance abuse to run unchecked, despite the gross amount of harm it has caused to him and the people around him, for literal decades.

Survivors of abuse have a right to defend themselves. If you are not in a situation where you are in fear for your life, in fear that you will lose everything you have if you make someone angry, if you are not being physically assaulted, you don’t know what you would do. No one does until they are in those situations. And while I do not wish abuse on anyone, if it’s not your experience, it’s not your fucking conversation. Abusive relationships change your entire reality. When someone has the ability to physically harm you without repercussions, your entire living environment is going to be hostile 24/7. Even if he wasn’t actively attacking her, lashing out at your abuser in the same ways they abuse you is not the same as choosing, from zero, to abuse someone. It is a response. 

We can understand that punching nazis is fine on account of them holding the ideology that other people should die, and we understand it’s acceptable even if that nazi isn’t actively hurting anyone. Dick Spencer wasn’t actively assaulting anyone when he got punched, and that was the meme of the year. So how can you all not understand that when it comes to a woman defending herself against a man who we know abused her?

They were only married 15 months. She DID leave. And she is still being punished. If you cannot see why this is a case of a powerful, rich, white, straight man abusing his resources to continue to harass, manipulate, and oppress his former spouse who he abused, you need to accept that you don’t support DV survivors and you hate bi women. Point blank period. There are no other reasons that anyone would be sincerely engaging in these conversations as if we can look at this from a blank slate. No matter what “new” information comes out, we still KNOW he abused her.

This is not going to stop until they have forced her to grovel at his feet, to appease his ego in front of the world, and to ruin her and her career, which has already been jeopardized multiple times because of his continued public harassment of her and you are helping him, so congrats!

reblogs okay / encouraged, really

Skam

How many Isaks and Evens do you think are laying like this right now?

Infinite ones.