Room Of Mirrors

Room of Mirrors

WORD COUNT: 3.8K

PAIRING: Yoongi x Fem!Reader

GENRE: established relationships, unrequited love, hidden feelings, kissing, SMUT MINORS DNI, house of mirrors, mirror sex, unprotected sex, lots of fluffy at the end,

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2023

⤜MASTERLIST

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Ten years was a long time to be in love with someone, even longer if you were forced to be that person's best friend for those ten years but that was your reality. It didn't matter how long you'd tried to hold back your feelings for Yoongi, with each passing day they only grew deeper and stronger. Even when you tried to pick him apart and find icks, it was damn near impossible for you not to be attracted to him and it killed you inside.

It wasn't just because he would never see you as anything more than a friend but because years and years ago, when you were both in college together one drunken Halloween night had led to something you were never going to forget. A night of drunken sex and no regrets on your part. You'd woken up the next morning with a giant smile on your face, rolling over ready to greet Yoongi only to find the sheets cold and empty with no sign of him ever being there except the dull aching inside of your chest as you realised he must have regretted sleeping with you.

After that night it was never brought up again, the subject was never touched upon and Yoongi went on like nothing had ever happened. As if you hadn't spent the most amazing night of your life together and he went back to being your best friend.

"I'm telling you, you're going to love this place. Yn and I come every year," Yoongi told his third date of the week. It was getting closer to the holiday season and so Yoongi was looking for someone to spend it with. You'd seen him do this every year for god knows how long, he'd find someone willing enough to spend the colder seasons with him only to let them go as the new year came around. Maybe it was because he wanted someone to cuddle up to at night or maybe he was just a player but you hated this side of him. Not just because you wanted to be the girl he took back to his place every cold night and cuddle with either.

"I don't really enjoy being scared," Summer shyly said as she flipped her long black hair over her shoulder and glanced in your direction. She seemed like such a lovely girl and you hated how jealous you were that it was her on this date and not you. You weren't exactly sure why you'd agreed to come on a date with Yoongi when you were going to spend the whole thing third-wheeling him,

"I can protect you," Yoongi smirked, grabbing her ass and squeezing it softly the mere action making you want to throw up at the sight of it. Couldn't he keep that shit to a minimum while you were around? The last thing you needed to see was the love of your life fawning over so many other girls.

"Yoongi, Yn is right there!" Summer gasped out slapping his hand away from her ass and moving away, You rolled your eyes a little trying to ignore the aching in your chest as you paid for three tickets to the House of Tricks. It wasn't even a scary attraction, it was just a circus house with different treats inside each room, your favourite place to go was the room of mirrors.

It was the one place that no one could hide and for some reason that really spoke to you. No one could mask their feelings because you'd see it in every single reflection you could see.

"Let's just have fun," Yoongi said as he stood near you, your eyes glancing at him before looking forward again. How could he do this? Bring dates along with you as if you were just one of the guys, did you really mean nothing to him? One night of fun for Yoongi and that was enough to determine you weren't worth anything more than his friendly side...Without even talking to you first.

"Yn, let's go to the magic show...We can leave Yoongi to explore on his own." Summer said, before you even had a chance to protest her she'd linked her arm with yours and began to walk with you in the direction of one of the rooms.

"I thought you were on a date with Yoongi." You mumbled trying to get away from her as quickly as possible. All of the girls Yoongi dated were the same, superficial airheads that didn't seem to care for you being Yoongi's best friend and would do everything that they could to get you away from him. Not that you blamed them, they probably saw you as a threat and thought you'd never do anything to jeopardise Yoongi's date no matter how jealous you were of him.

"Dante the Great!" Someone boomed out as you and Summer walked through the door and took a seat in the back of the room, watching the show-up front. A tall man with dark hair stood in the centre of the room, a top hat on his head and a dark rose tattooed on his left hand.

"I will amaze you with my performance," He told everyone but your attention was suddenly on Summer who was eyeing you up closely.

"What's Yoongi like? I don't want to date him if he's playing me." She told you bluntly, your heart racing a little as you stared back at her,

"He's-" But before you could speak she shook her head at you and gave you a pleading look, a look that could seriously come from a puppy and it made your heart clench.

"From girl to girl, please tell me seriously. Is he going to hump and dump?" Your mouth suddenly felt drier than the desert and you had no idea what to even tell her,

"Yoongi is great," You admitted, licking your lips a little as you tried to give yourself a little time to think of what you could say. You weren't about to intentionally ruin his date,

"He's sweet and he's kind, he might come across as a little...harsh to everyone else but he's," You bit your lip a little as you thought about him,

"He's incredible. No matter what time of day it is, if you ever need anything he's there for you. He'll move mountains to help you with anything you need and not to mention he'd climb through barbed wire to make sure you're never hurt." She stared at you, smiling a little as she listened to you talking about him but once you'd started you weren't sure you were ever going to stop.

"He makes you feel as though you're the only girl in the world, that no one else matters because he's there with you. And if you ever say something stupid he'll never laugh at you with it, maybe in the future when you can both laugh but he's never one to be cruel. Never one to be mean," You looked down at your hands, you'd never admitted any of this to anyone not even your diary got to see this side of how you felt about Yoongi.

"He's great, Summer...You should date him," You mumbled a little trying not to get carried away with how you were speaking and you slowly looked up to see her staring back at you with a smirk on her face.

"Summer?" You laughed awkwardly trying to get her to look away from you but she narrowed her eyes at you and shook her head a little.

"I should have seen it before," She told you as she smiled weakly, reaching her hand out and rubbing her thumb along your knuckles.

"You're in love with Yoongi, right?" Your whole world stopped as you stared at her, if she'd seen it so easily why hadn't he?

"That obvious?" You looked away from her, looking at the show as Dante made a rabbit appear from his hat before giving it to someone in the front row. Your eyes glanced back at Summer as she looked at you with a pitiful look on her face,

"Not until you started talking about him, does he know?" You shook your head in answer to her question and she sighed at you,

"Take it from someone who knows from experience. It's better to tell him than to watch him fuck everyone else instead of you." You knew that she was right but were you really about to take advice from her when she was on a date with the man you were in love with?

"But we had one night together, he left without a word about it." You shrugged your shoulders as she stood up, you followed her and made your way out of the room and into the hallway. Yoongi was waiting in line for the mirrored room and you glanced at Summer once again who smiled weakly.

"Look, from girl to girl. If he does that then he's not worth the time of day, but if your feelings are that deep for him, talk." She told you before hugging you tightly, Yoongi frowned from the other side of the hall wondering what had happened between you for this to happen.

On all of the dates Yoongi had been on or had ever bought you to meet you'd never once hugged one of them or seemed as nice toward them.

"Summer. I thought we could go into the mirrored room." He called out as she walked toward him, kissing his cheek softly.

"I'm not really feeling us as a match," She told him plainly as he stared at her. Not feel them as a match? They'd barely spend any time together for her to determine whether or not she even liked his hair cut how could she just walk off? He barely had time to protest before she walked out of the house leaving you and Yoongi alone together.

"Next couple please," The man at the door announced as Yoongi stepped up, you walked toward him before he walked into the room with an unimpressed look on his face. The door behind you shut and locked and you were left alone, just you and Yoongi and your 100 reflections all staring back at you, Yoongi wasn't in front of you and you weren't exactly sure which Yoongi was even the real him but he was glaring in your direction.

"What did you say to her?" He snarled making your heart rate rocket,

"I didn't say anything bad," You told him as you looked around trying to find where he was standing but he kept on the move, making you follow him as you stretched your hands out in front of you trying not to smash your head into glass.

"But clearly it was enough to scare her away." He growled out, he was sick of his dates not working out anymore. Now that it was closer to the colder seasons it was going to get impossible to ignore the date that was coming up. The anniversary of when he'd almost fucked everything up between you and him.

Halloween all those years ago, one drunken night and one you'd forgotten and he was thankful for. When he'd woken up the morning after he'd rushed out of the dorm room to go and grab food and rethink everything that had happened the nights previous. When you'd come to meet him you'd never bought up the night before and he just knew you'd not remembered a single thing.

Now every Halloween when the night would come around he needed a different girl to get lost in, a different girl so he wouldn't throw himself down at your feet and ask for another night just like the one you'd shared years ago.

"She asked me what you were like, I was honest and told her everything." You shrugged, it wasn't a lie and Yoongi could tell. Fuck, he could read you like a book and he hated that. You were everything to him and all he really wanted to do right now was throw himself at you and kiss you.

"She was boring anyway," He admitted, slowly coming out from behind you and holding your hips in his hands, the small contact sending shivers vibrating throughout your entire body. Your eyes locked with his in the mirror in front of you,

"Tell me what you said to her," He whispered, his lips inches away from your ear as you let out a small gasp while his hands slowly trailed the waistband of your skirt his skin coming into contact with yours.

"I didn't, she figure something out." Your voice was shakey, you didn't trust it not to crack on you as Yoongi continued to run his fingers along the elasticated waistband.

"Which was..." His lips slowly lowered until they were hovering above your bare shoulder, your eyes fluttering shut as you realised you weren't going to get out of this one. Your breaths became laboured as he placed a small and gentle kiss on your skin, a whimper leaving your throat as you decided to throw caution to the wind.

"That I'm in love with you, always have been and always will be," As soon as the words left your throat you were suddenly span around and pushed up against the mirror, your eyes slowly opened to find Yoongi staring at you.

"Ever since Halloween 2022?" He questioned, it was almost ten years since the day and you nodded your head at him and his eyes scanned yours for any sign that you were lying to him.

"You remembered that night?" He sounded surprised which was confusing to you. Of course, you remembered that night. It was he who had decided to play dumb all these years and act as though nothing had happened between you both.

"How could I not? It was the best night of my life," You scoffed at him attempting to walk away but he placed his hand on the mirror beside your head trapping you between him and the mirror.

"I thought you'd forgotten...You never bought it up." He stuttered a little as you stared back at him, your eyes staring directly into his soul as you bit your tongue.

"Neither did you. I thought you regretted it," You admitted as his hand slowly moved to cup your face in his hands, running his thumb along your soft lip and shaking his head.

"My only regret is going ten years without another taste of you," He growled out, your thighs rubbing together as you felt yourself growing wetter at the thought of it.

"Every year was torture as I thought about Halloween with you," He told you as he ran his hand up your thigh and between the skirt you were wearing and your heart began to quicken.

"Yoongi," You whispered out, clutching onto his bicep as he let out a small chuckle at how nervous you suddenly were.

"We have all the time in the world in here," He whispered to you, already knowing that you were worrying about who could walk inside here but he was right. No one was allowed to enter until the two of you pushed the button on the exit door to let them know you'd made your way through it successfully.

"I need you," He told you as he took your hand and slowly placed it over his hardened cock through his jeans and you let out a little giggle that was like music to his ears.

"You did that all Halloween night, you'd giggle and I couldn't help but feel my heart swell for you," He told you as he ran his hands further up your thigh until he reached the black panties you'd put on that afternoon and your hips jerked forward.

"Please, Yoongi." You begged for something, anything, you just wanted to feel him touching you again it was all you'd been wanting for ten years.

"Ten years I've been waiting for this, ten." He told you as he softly rubbed his thumb over your clothed clit, your head rolling back against the mirror as you let out a strangled moan at his touch.

"Every year there was a different girl because I was terrified if I was alone I'd ruin our friendship," He whines out as he begins to pick up the pace on your clit, your eyes rolling back as you let out a strangled moan of his name,

"Now you're telling me I didn't need to worry about that at all," He tutteed a little at you, pretending to be disappointed as he pulled your panties to the side and sunk two fingers deep into your cunt. Your eyes widened as you looked at him, your hands clutching onto his biceps as he smirked at you.

"Yoongi," You cried out as he began to curl his fingers hitting that one spot that made your legs go numb and your whole world spin. It should have been criminal just how good he was with his fingers, you were a moaning mess in his hands as you struggled to stay standing up straight.

"You're so fucking beautiful, Yn," He told you as he continued to fuck his fingers into you, enjoying the sound of wetness as he thrust them faster in and out of you. Your head rolled back against the mirror as he bit down on his lip and did his best to control himself. God, the number of times he'd imagined doing this with you, every Halloween he'd wanted to take you inside of this room.

Fuck you in full view of yourself so you could see how beautiful he found you, to show you how much he wanted to worship your body and so you'd never forget just how badly he wanted you.

"Yoongi, please." You pleaded as he continued to thrust his fingers, your hips bucking toward him as you felt your orgasm ready to wash over you. He spread your legs further apart somehow hitting deeper inside of you as he continued to drive his fingers into you, your eyes rolling back.

"Cum for me baby, cum for me and scream my name." He growled out his pace picking up as your legs shook in place, your nails digging into his skin and causing him to bleed ever so slightly. Your eyes squeezed shut as you moaned out his name, bucking against him as your orgasm crashed over you like a wave your whole body shaking.

"So fucking hot," He grunts looking at you, slowly retreating his fingers from you and sucking them clean all the while staring you in the eyes.

"Turn around and hike up your skirt," He orders as he quickly undoes his belt and frees himself from his boxers, fuck he was bigger than you remembered.

"I'm nervous," You admitted as your eyes met one another in the mirror and he smiled warmly at you, lining his cock up at your entrance.

"I know, but you have nothing to be nervous about," He pressed a soft kiss to the back of your neck as he carefully pressed into you, inch by inch giving you time to adjust as you let out a small cry.

"Fuck, Yoongi you're too big." You moaned out as he bit down on your ear a little, reaching around you with one hand and squeezing your nipple through the thin fabric.

"I'm perfect for you," He moaned out as he slowly began to withdraw from you, only to push back inside of you again, you were so fucking tight he could barely hold himself together,

"You feel so fucking amazing," He moaned out looking down at you as your breathing picked up, your eye smeeting his in the mirror.

"You're so hot Yoongi," You breathed out, your words giving him encouragement as he continued to thrust his hips in and out of you, bottoming out each time as you clenched around him.

"Fuck," He groans letting his head drop to your shoulder blade, your breathing is laboured as you stare at him,

"I'm so fucking full," You cry out, your hands trying to grip the mirror as you look at one another,

"M-Move, Yoongi...Please," You begged as he slowly began to rock his hips in and out of you, looking down at you as he held your hip in one hand and the other on the mirror in front of him.

"Roll...f-fuck, roll your hips a little," He begged as you began to roll your hips back to meet his, your moans becoming louder as you cried out one another's name.

"I'm so close, I'm sorry." He whined out but you didn't stop rocking your hips back to meet his, you were desperate for him to come you wanted to hear his moans, to watch him as he came for you.

"Don't stop then," You begged as you looked him in the eyes through the mirror,

"Cum, please Yoongi." You begged out as he looked down at you, his hands holding onto you tightly as he began to drive in and out of you, a breathless gasp falling past your lips.

"Yoongi,." You warned him as he hit that spot again and again, a smirk growing on his face as he continued to fuck into that same spot for you. The pressure continued to build at the base of your stomach as you whimpered, legs slipping a little but Yoongi held you tighter keeping you upright,

"Yoongi, Oh my god," You groan out as he continues to fuck into you roughly. Your orgasm erupts as you whimper, bucking against him as your entire body grows numb, your vision blurring as he continues to fuck into you.

"Oh fuck me," He groans out as he comes, his hips stilling as he looks down at you, sweat dripping down your forehead but you'd never looked more beautiful.

"I love you," You whispered as you looked at him, Yoongi grunted as he slowly pulled out of you enjoying the way you pouted and let out a whine of protest at the sudden lack of fullness.

"I love you too," He whispered, cleaning himself off with his boxers before tucking himself away and looking at you. Slowly he licked his lips as the two of you gathered yourselves up ready to go and hit the buzzer to get out. Hopefully the music out in the hallway had muffled the sounds of what you were doing, not that either of you really cared all that much you were never going to see any of these people again.

"Let's go back to mine, have a nice warm bath and then we can watch whatever movie you want." He suggested as you headed out of the house and into the cold night,

"Sure," You kissed his cheek softly very happy with how the night had turned around for the two of you. The two of you walked hand in hand toward his car, a giant smile on both your faces as you did your best to act as though your legs weren't currently like jelly.

****

Vows aka 10 ways to win your husband's heart Masterlist

An arranged marriage AU

You've been in your arranged marriage with Yoongi for five years, and he's never once retaliated for anything you've done to him. One day you realise you've lost your appetite for provoking him, and you set about trying to win his heart instead.

Vows Part 1 Part 2

Drabbles - Sorry, Pretend, Lonely, The suit, Choices, Geneva, Avila, Drive stick, Sire, Drown, Sulky

Schooled - Seokjin's revenge

Firsts

Everything

Doll

Penance

Every time like the first time

Switch pt 2

Untouchable

First Strike

©hamsterclaw 2022-2023

AO3 List

Here’s the list of my favourite bts fics on ao3 ♡ if you have any of your own recommendations feel free to tell me I would love to hear them ♡ some contain smut so no minors allowed

s- smut a- angst f- fluff

jeon jungkook

all of btssmutgalore’s work (sadly they aren’t on tumblr anymore

all of univsa work

Chewie & choco boy by rookiegukie f a

growing pains by univsa (@diortae ) f s a

an abundance of mondays by univsa (@diortae ) f s a

half a heart without you by blaqandwhite f a

seal the deal by blaqandwhite

we made these memories for ourselves by seraphicserendipity f a

show me your scars by lollarissa f a

Rain by nijoon

your eyes tell by njkbangtan (on tumblr too @njkbangtan )

it’s complicated by TAE_REE s a ↬(ex boyfriend taehyung jk’s his younger brother and things get complicated)

when worlds collide by envisagetae a (implied cheating break up)

33 minutes by kmindset a

we’re in love (again) by jinisbangtansprince

rough edges by Inkofyoongi f s a (friends to lovers)

It’s a heartbeat by Inkofyoongi f s a (ft. Yoongi)

euphoria by taeveler a

a beautiful epiphany by dulcetvk

show me something by dailydoseofdia s a (enemies to lovers first love roadtrip)

ivy and sprinkles by btsracket f s a (single dad dilf jk)

between crossed lines by univsa

Stubborn love by bluesxde

Redamancy by bluesxde (sequel to stubborn love)

Bodyguard by attackontaetanss

royal pain in the heart by blaqandwhite

right of way by  fringesofsanity f s a (best friends boyfriend)

a cinderella story by suhdays (based on the movie)

blank check by sugaxjpg f s a (college au fuck boy au fake dating au)

love and other four letter words by univsa f s a (friends to lovers college au)

cuddle therapy by itsallabouthedetails f s a (strangers to lovers)

seoul underground by hunniejimins s a (mafia au e2l love triangle slow burn) ft. namjoon

kim taehyung

when we were young by bluesxde f s a (enemies to lovers au friends to lovers au fake dating au) ft. Jungkook

min yoongi

moan wars by hoseokiehopie s (boyfriend friend yoongi) ft. Shy Roommate Jungkook

bound by obiwrites (arranged marriage enemies to lovers)

love is a dog from hell by yourlocalhoney f s a (love triangle) ft. Jungkook

all the room in the world by Inkofyoongi f s a (childhood friends to lovers)

kim seokjin

formula for love by bluesxde f s a (professor jin single parent jin)

kim namjoon

roommates with benefits by joonswhistle f s a (roommate au angst with a happy ending)

seoul underground by hunniejimins s a (mafia au e2l love triangle slow burn) ft. jungkook

park jimin

the december of our adulthood by vyduan a (unrequited love idiots to lovers friends to lovers)

Moonlight Reign Masterlist

A/N: Don't mind me, haha. Here is the new and improved Moonlight Reign! You do not have to read the old version (if anything pls don't it is not written well AT ALL) I've changed many many things about the story, but I hope all my readers enjoy nonetheless

Pairing: Yandere! Mafia! BTS x Reader

Warnings: 18+, fem/fem-bodied reader, yandere behavior, unhealthy relationship, poly relationship, obsessive and possessive behavior, murder, mafia activities, crime, manipulation, crying, trauma, sensory flashbacks, blood, gore, murder, pining, past abuse, past neglect, familial issues, academic neglect, eventual smut, fictional events in a fictional world that I do not condone irl (specialized warnings will be at the top of each chapter)

Last updated: September 23, 2023

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

---------------------------

Main Masterlist

Tip Jar

for the ts requests could i request yoongi and all too well please 🥺

all too well — myg [m]

⤷ summary. you remember all too well how he would hold you through the night, all the love you shared that you now know was nothing but lies. If only you were older, right? | 18+

pairing. producer!yoongi x reader

genre. heavy angst, implied smut, age gap au (eleven years)

warnings. oh my god i wanna cry, yoongi is an asshole (i hated writing him as an asshole but it iz what it iz) implied smut, explicit language, ANGST !!, hurt no comfort, implied infidelity (lolol), oc gets drunk out of her mind, crying, feelings of worthlessness, this is just sad haha, big age gap (11 years…..), oc is 23, boss x intern relationship.

word count. 2.1k

note. this is BARELY EDITED !! i didn’t want this to be too long so i shortened it out haha, and i hope u like this !! this almost made me shed a lil tear tbh because it’s just so sad :( i love that song, i know the 10 minute version by heart ahhaha. love u so much and i hope this is up to ur expectations, love u !!!!

» please don’t flag this post. if u don’t like it, just scroll. don’t be petty and flag creator’s posts, if u do that, ur not fücking cool 👎

links. main masterlist ; taglist

You swallow the bitter liquid, your face scrunching once when your throat burns.

You place the glass cup on the wooden counter, a loud click fills the silent bar, and the bartender looks at you with a soft gaze. You want to throw up as you realise pity lies within his dark pupils.

You don’t blame him, though.

You swipe through your pictures with him, and the bitter sense of longing twists your insides as bile threatens to flow to your throat.

You miss his hands, his devilish eyes.

You miss your smile.

“One more shot please.”

“Miss, I really think that’s enough.”

You roll your eyes and bang your head on the wooden table as your body surrenders to the effects of alcohol, “Fuck.”

You can still smell his addicting cologne, how he would caress your hair as you softly cried into his chest, and how his words would soothe you as you would overthink.

Rivers run through your cheeks as your body screams for him, for your Yoongi, for him to be as close to you as tomorrow, for your hope to glisten as the moon did your skin as you made love at night.

He’s now as distant as the sun, only near as a figment of your imagination, and you don’t even know how to wipe your own tears. Not like he did.

He was your sunlight, your reason to breathe—yet now, he’s as a mystery to you as the moon is to lovers. As distant as Neptune is to Mercury.

He promised a forever within whispers, but was it all your imagination? Was it all just your young heart falling for the trap of wishful thinking?

It was real. It should have been real—you aren’t blind, you saw his eyes when he looked at you, didn’t you?

Or was your heart colourblind to the red of intentions inside his pupils?

People warned you—what else would an older man want with a young woman like you other than lust? Other than to suck the life out of your vivid soul so he could get a taste of what youth tasted like?

And you still chose to fall for him, let your heart blindly trust a man whom you thought would never leave you as he caressed you in ways you never felt.

Stupidly, you took the handshake of hope that he would be your forever, of the carbon monoxide that slowly took all your breath away, until all you were left were remains of your old, indestructible self.

You remember how you met him, how you saw his beautiful eyes for the first time, not knowing how they would be at fault for your demise.

You were supposed to be an intern for him after you won the contest for the seniors at your music school. You heard of him before, the famous producer by the name of SUGA who ran one of the biggest records in South Korea, the one that had been running the music game for many years now.

It wasn’t love at first sight, but you were attracted to him the moment your eyes caught his siren-like eyes, staring at you with such an intense gaze, that you almost whimpered underneath it.

You didn’t think a man like him could be so beautiful, so enticing to you, but you knew it was forbidden—he was eleven years your senior, and not to mention he was a famous, critically acclaimed, rich producer, and well, you were a mere college girl who didn’t know what you was supposed to do after you graduate.

Until that fateful day.

It was late at night, you were both alone in his studio, you were sitting on his leather couch writing your notes for your college report as Yoongi worked on some beats for a random famous artist you couldn’t remember the name.

He then asked for you to come listen to his beat, and your heart flickered when you realised the Min Yoongi wanted your opinion on his music.

A hand brush that left your face hot then turned into you kissing him, dropping your red scarf on the ground for him to lick your neck—and ended up with him fucking you so passionately on his leather chair.

Is this what making love is? You asked yourself as he thrusted into you, his moans in your ear as you fell into the bliss of your orgasm.

“Are you sure, princess?” He gasped then, holding you close to him as lovers did, and you nodded your head so eagerly. Godness, you were never sure of anything in your life other than that at that moment, you wanted him.

You left your red scarf in his studio then. Never to be seen again.

You can still remember all too well the flowers he sent you, how lovingly he courted you for weeks before asking you to be his girlfriend, and with your youthful smile, you accepted before kissing his chapped lips with all the happiness in the world.

How could you know this was the fate stored for you? Crying in an empty bar, with eyes staring at you with pity as you drown yourself in your own mistake of trusting a man with your fragile heart.

It was bliss for the first months as you kept your relationship a secret—you were just another intern in everyone’s eyes, and your time with him would end as your contract finished once you graduated college.

Everything changed when you both decided you were fed up with keeping your relationship behind closed doors, and so, he decided to reveal to his friends first that you were his girlfriend.

You should have known that night you would never work out.

You’re nervous, and rightfully so.

Your hand is intertwined with your boyfriend of one year as you walk up to one of his friend’s houses for a get-together with his friend group.

Your stomach twists when he knocks on the door, and you squeeze his veiny hand, Yoongi turns around, a small smile adorning his beautiful face, “You okay?”

“Yeah….Just nervous.”

Yoongi brings your hand to his cherry lips, and butterflies flap inside your stomach as your nerves ease at his gentle touch, “Everything will be okay, love. They’re just my friends. They’ll love you.”

A man opened the door, and he gave Yoongi a heart-shaped smile before hugging your boyfriend. You gulped thickly as your mind rushed with thoughts—what would he think of you? Would he think you were good enough for Yoongi? Would he think you are too young for him?

“Ah, is this your girlfriend?”

Yoongi smiles, wrapping a hand around your waist, “Yeah. This is ____.”

“Hi.” You smile shyly, and the man, whom you come to know as Hoseok, smiles back and greets you with a warm hug.

“Ah, can’t believe such a pretty woman would be with a grump like Yoongi.”

Yoongi scoffs and rolls his eyes at the younger man, “Aish, you never know how to shut up do you?”

You enter the house and greet six of his other friends, and a woman who you've felt is staring at you with the most intense gaze you’ve ever seen.

She’s ethereal, everything you are not. Mature, perfect plump lips and smooth black hair that fell down to her shoulder.

“This is Hana,” Yoongi says with a stern voice, and the woman, Hana, greets you with an equally cold face, matching the bitterness in your boyfriend’s voice.

“Pleasure.”

Time passed and you were all sitting on a round table as you ate the food one of Yoongi’s older friends, Seokjin, made for everyone.

“So, ____, how old are you?” Hana suddenly asks, and the laughter from one of Seokjin’s jokes dies out after the words leave her mouth.

You clear your throat and squirm on your chair under her intense gaze, “Twenty-three.”

Your stomach twists once again, and you try to hold your boyfriend’s hand that lies on the table, but he only puts your hand back where it was, patting it gently as if that would soothe you when all you needed was a squeeze of his hand on yours.

You grew cold, shivers running through your spine as a loud silence filled the room once you relieved your age.

“Hm, didn’t know you liked the younger ones, Yoongi.” Hana chuckles, and you turn your head to your boyfriend, only to find him with his head hung low.

A piece of your heart sinks—is he ashamed of you?

Yoongi’s voice cuts through the silence like a knife as he grumbles, “We broke up a year ago, Hana. I changed.”

Oh.

The dinner was cut short after that—the atmosphere shifted to awkwardness, and it didn’t take long for you and Yoongi to get out of there as soon as you could.

“Do you think I’m too young for you?” You whisper as you watch Yoongi driving, his Rolex shining under the moonlight as he turns the wheel. You would usually get lost in his attractiveness, but tonight, your thoughts were overcome by Hana’s gaze and words, a burning wave coursing through your body as you remembered just how much it stung to know Yoongi had her as his girlfriend.

She was older, experienced, prettier than you would ever be at her age.

“____, we talked about this, hm?” Yoongi takes your hand in his, squeezing it lightly. “I love you, and our age gap won’t change that, okay?”

“I love you, too.”

If only words were enough to make you believe him.

Once you graduated, you started working on a pretty small record label as a producer for their newest girl group.

Your boyfriend tried offering a full-time position at his company, and although you would have loved to, you knew it was cheating—you wanted to start small, to find yourself within the industry without having your rich boyfriend serving every producer’s dream in a silver platter to a newbie like you.

As time went by, you noticed something shift in Yoongi.

His thousands of texts asking how you were during the day turned into one per day, which eventually turned into you having to call him so you could hear his deep voice while you were at work.

His frequent cuddles suddenly turned into you silently begging for him to put your hand on his as you slept on your shared bed.

You couldn’t accept the fact that things changed, that his eyes didn’t flicker as he stared at you. He changed, you knew that, but you continued to live in your bubble of denial, turning a blind eye to the pain that ripped you into shreds each day you observed Yoongi moving farther from you.

You couldn’t understand why.

You gave him everything—your love, devotion, your time. You loved him so deeply, so fiercely, with every inch of your body and soul—and yet he repays you by pushing you away? By giving nothing but shallow waters of affection as you drown in your sea of hurt.

You knew it was coming, but no deep breaths could ever prepare you for the pain of feeling your heart shattering inside you when the words came out of your mouth on a sunday afternoon.

“I don’t think this is working anymore, ____.”

You couldn’t breathe when you heard it.

And now, you’re here, choking on your own blood as your head falls dizzy because of your alcohol intake.

You thought it would make the pain go away—the drunker you are, the more you would drown in the toxicity of the alcohol instead of stabbing your heart with the image of his gummy smile. But all it did was make the pain unbearable.

You sob on the counter, thoughts of your pitiful state go down the drain as you choke on your own tears at the reminisce of your time together with the one you used to think was your end game, the one who would put a ring on your finger, a promise of forever.

But was it all just whispers of nothing? Were all the promising kisses worth nothing? Was it all in your head?

Perhaps it was—if only your heart weren’t so young, so naive to fall foolishly in love with a man whose heart was much older than yours, and flickered for someone other than you.

Pathetic is what you are.

A disgrace to the world, tainting the earth as you walk within your shame of loving a man who was never meant to be yours.

“If it wasn’t for this age gap, maybe we would’ve been fine.” He says, his eyes stuck on the ground.

His words make you choke another sob as you remember his eyes as he said it to you, no remorse within them as you broke in front of him.

You receive a notification from twitter, and your world falls down once you read it.

“Famous producer SUGA is confirmed to be dating ex-idol Kim Hana!”

If only you were older, right?

yoongi fic recs part iii

because I have nothing to do and I miss him terribly terribly terribly

(once again, all of love and support to the writers!)

1. haze by @bonvoyagenoona

fwb(?)au, fluff, smut, 6.5k words

2. I already have you and a cupcake, what more could I possibly need by @taetaespeaches

established relationship, fluff, 1.3k words

3. phases of a daydream by @ki-yomii

established relationship, fluff, smut, 2.8k words

4. riding yoongi in his studio chair by @mccnyoongi

established relationship, undergroundrapper!yoongi, fluff, smut, 2k words

5. extra of in our forever by @muniimyg

established relationship, fluff, angst, smut, (part of the 'in our forever' series but can be read as a standalone drabble imo)

6. the trophy wife by @taeyohonic

established relationship, angst, fluff, 5.7k words

7. favouritism by @taeyohonic

established relationship, pandemic!au, fluff, smut, 2.2k words

8. 01:26am drabble by @wtf-yoongi

established relationship, just fluff and cute vibes

9. everything by @hamsterclaw

established relationship!au, fluff, a little angst, smut, (part of the 'vows' series but can be read as a standalone oneshot imo), 2.3k words

( honestly the vows series is one of my all time favourite series and I reread when I'm bored or feeling down so I would recommend the entire series if you haven't read it ! )