Dearest Darling, My Universe



dearest darling, my universe âĄ
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More Posts from Hoonatic
âËâšâ SUNGHOON as your boyfriend headcanons

pairing - bf!sunghoon x gn!reader genre - established relationship, fluff, headcanons cw - skinship đââË・â ๨ৠreblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated !! <3 â§Ë° ... (library) ⚠࣪ Ë jungwon, heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, sunoo, ni-ki

i see sunghoon as the quieter lover compared to the others but that doesnât change how much he loves you. in fact, he loves you so much. heâs scared of losing you.
sunghoon has a playlist of songs that you like/recommend and he listens to it on his free time just so he can share more things in common with you.
sunghoon goes out of his way to make you happy or feel better. if this means going out late at night to buy you something you need, then heâll do it with no problem. he canât say no to your cute face.
heâs such a gentleman. heâs always looking out for you. he always opens doors for you, leading you through crowds, gives you his jacket itâs cold, making sure you donât flash anyone if youâre wearing anything revealing, everything.
sunghoon is super gentle with you. he never raises his voice and he always is gentle with his gestures.Â
he is very considerate of you. heâs always thinking if youâd like this or that, how youâd feel about this or that. he thinks about you pretty often.
sunghoon loves to watch you do literally anything. if youâre with a group of friends and youâre off doing your own, sunghoon canât help but have his eyes wander off to you. he always has this loving smile on his face whenever he does. if you ever catch him staring, heâd get so flustered and say that he was just âzoning outâ.
he also loves to watch the things youâre passionate about. he always feels a sense of pride and joy.
sunghoon is super observant. he notices if one thing is off about you. heâd give you space for a few moments so youâd be able to calm down and once you do, heâs very quick to comfort you and ask whatâs wrong. heâs also very understanding and tries to see from your point of view.
youâre the light of his life. you bring things out of him that no one else sees. you make him so happy.
sunghoonâs mood can change in an instant when you enter the room. he could be grumpy one second and happy the next as soon as you step foot into the room.Â
sunghoon is a completely different person when heâs with you. his soft side is very present. heâs soft for you and only you.
sunghoon loves to mess with you. he loves getting a reaction out of you. you can never breathe in peace even for a moment. heâs always finding something to tease you about. to add, he randomly sends you pictures of himself just to see your reaction.
sunghoon enjoys quality time with you. he cherishes every moment spent even if youâre not doing anything.
sunghoon loves to have deep and meaningful talks with you. itâs a way for him to release any pent up stress he has.Â
heâs not very verbal about it but sunghoon loves it when youâre the one to initiate any skinship. he melts every time you wrap your arms around him.
sunghoon tries not to appear down bad for you but he fails terribly.Â
he still gets nervous around you. in a good way though, his heart just races when youâre present.
it took sunghoon awhile to get used to the feeling of being in a relationship and overall having someone that cares about him so much. the feeling of love was overwhelming for him at first but the longer he is with you, the less overwhelming it got. he loves you more than anything now.

Šluvj4key 2024. all work is written by me. do not copy, translate or repost
taglist (open): @j4keluver @j-jinxee @suneng @ikeuzsn @miniature-tragedy @laylasbunbunny



pairing: Sunghoon x fem!reader
genre: angst with a happy ending, fluff, established relationship
content warnings: emotional neglect, some swearing, hoon is kinda a workaholic ig?, I don't think there's anything that really needs warnings other than this is sad but lmk if I miss anything!
summary: your boyfriend comes home late after promising to be home on time for once, only to find that you're nowhere in sight...
notes: this is another one that I'm not sure how to feel about ;-; but I hope you guys enjoy it TwT fun fact, the whole thing was inspired by an rp that I did with an ai where the robot somehow managed to call me by another person's name while cuddling XD
I'm making a general taglist for my fics so if anyone would like to be added please either send an ask or a DM ^w^
Everything below the cut is NOT proofread
âË âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§ ¡ ¡ ⥠¡ ¡ ŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľ Ëâ
  The white noise of your favorite movie buzzes through your living room, conversation and dialogue that youâd learned by heart filling the cold space with a false sense of familiarity. You sit cross-legged with your back pressed into the arm of the L-shaped couch in front of the tv, resting your chin on a plushie held close to your chest, looking not at the flickering screen to your right, but at the clock hanging in your kitchenâthe only room in the house with the lights on.Â
  9:17 pm, it reads. Roughly three hours and seventeen minutes since your boyfriend would typically get home from work.Â
  Three hours and seventeen minutes since youâd been waiting on a barstool by the kitchen island where you both usually took your meals.Â
  A tiramisu cake and a bouquet of flowers laid out in front of you.Â
  Waiting.
  Waiting.
  So much waiting.Â
  After an hour or so, youâd gently slid the cake back into its box, distracting yourself with the task of putting the flowers into a vase before they could wilt.Â
  âHeâs late again,â you think sleepily, eyes struggling to stay focused on the clock, âhe promised he wouldnât be tonight.â
  Your vision blurs as the long hand hits 12, eyelids too heavy to keep open, mind wandering to the conversation youâd shared with Sunghoon that morning.Â
âË âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§ ¡ ¡ ⥠¡ ¡ ŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľ Ëâ
  âWhat time will you be home from work today?â you asked sleepily, sitting up in your nest of blankets, having woken up to find that he was already in the process of pulling his socks on, careful not to wake you.Â
  âI donât know, Love, you know how crazy things have been with this update, I might be late again,â he said absently, looking around for his glasses. âWhere the fuck did I put them?â
  He runs a hand through his hair frustratedly, leg bouncing in agitation. It made your heart ache slightly in your chest, disappointment, guilt, and worry mixing confusedly in your stomach.Â
  You loved Sunghoon, more than almost anything else in your life, he was the man youâd chosen as your partner, who youâd decided to stand by through thick and thin. But ever since the game company he worked for had started work on a new update, youâd been seeing less and less of him. Always coming home late, tired and stressed, mind wandering and absent even when he was sitting right in front of you. You understood, you really did. Between the two of you he was the one with the bigger income, the burden of taking care of you, of making sure that the two of you could build a future together, was on his shoulders. And it was a responsibility that he did not take lightly.Â
  But still.Â
  In moments like that, where you slid off your bed to fetch his glasses off the nightstandâblanket wrapped securely round your shoulders to fend off the cold that permeated your apartment since the heating had started to malfunctionâmoving round the bed to stand in front of him⌠you couldnât help but feel like he was breaking your heart. Just a little.Â
  It was in the way he only met your eyes briefly when he took them from you before standing and gathering the rest of his things, sighing in what couldâve been frustration or relief, it was hard to tell.Â
  It was the way he didnât stop the flow of movement steadily taking him away from you and towards the office till you called his name twice, stopping in his tracks and fixing you with a look that, though probably unintentional, made you want to bury yourself under your mountain of plushies and hide.Â
  âIâm going to be late, (y/n), what is it?â
  You winced. You couldnât help it. Unaccustomed to hearing him say your name with so little emotion. âJust⌠could you come back on time tonight?â your voice is barely more than a whisper, tapering off into silence the longer you force your eyes to meet his. âUnless you canât of course! Iâm not saying you have to do anything, I understand that youâre busy and you canât really dictate when or how things get done but just that it would be nice if you could be home on time tonight since-â
  âOkay.â
  âHuh?âÂ
  âIâll make it home on time tonight.âÂ
  His voice was softer than it had been a moment ago, giving you the courage you needed to meet his eyes. They were still heavy with worry, brows drawn together to dig a permanent crease into the middle of his forehead, but they werenât quite as cold or distant. He was looking at you, really looking at you for the first time in what felt like forever.Â
  It wasnât much, you knew that. But it was still enough to ease the knot building in your throat. Enough to bring a small smile to your face as you nodded. âMnm! Okay, Iâll see you tonight then.â
   âMnm, alright,â he said, a small, slightly strained smile coming to rest on his own lips.
âË âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§ ¡ ¡ ⥠¡ ¡ ŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľ Ëâ
  The apartment was almost completely dark when the lock to the front door chimed, alerting the darkness that someone had arrived. The figure that stepped through was slumped over, backpack sliding off one shoulder with his jacket, shoes abandoned haphazardly.Â
  It took a moment for Sunghoonâs mind to catch up to his body, for it to fully sink into his bones that he was home. That he was home and it was nearly 11 pm. Home and the tv and kitchen light were both on, white letters onscreen asking the room if anyone was still watching Netflix.Â
  Something in the kitchen caught his eye, a handmade vase his sister had given you for your birthday set out on the kitchen island, filled to the brim with pink, white, and purple flowers he did not recognise.Â
  âOhâ
  It was his birthday.Â
  Thatâs why youâd asked him to come home on time.Â
  Sunghoon groaned, face twisting with what could only be described as pain as he quickly set his bag down by the front door and made his way to your shared bedroom. You were usually asleep by this time, unable to pull all-nighters the way you used to back when you were in high school, always out like a light by no later than 10:30 every night.Â
  âBut she still stays up every night waiting for you,â a voice in his head hisses.
  âI know⌠fuck I know she does,â his own voice replies, panic setting in when he finds your room empty, the bed neatly made, not even a dent to show that youâd been laying in it while working on your laptop during the day.Â
  âSheâs not here⌠are you surprised? How long did you expect her to wait?â the voice whispers, a chill cascading down his spine.
  The panic sets in with more vigor, wrapping round his throat and sending his tired mind into overdrive as he checks the bathroom, your home office, and finally the dark living room. Fear telling him that this was it.Â
  Heâd really gone and done it now.Â
  He wasnât a complete fool. He knew the moment you stood in the middle of your bedroom floor instead of closing the distance between you and wrapping your arms around his waist, choosing instead to clutch your favorite duvet like a lifeline, wincing when you heard his voice, all because you wanted to ask him to come home⌠he knew right then that heâd been an absolute idiot.Â
  Heâd meant to come home early, to be there to make it up to you, to apologise properly, tell you that heâd take some time off as soon as the update was done and dusted.Â
  But he didnât. He let work sweep him up again. Drowning in error messages and buggy code till the sky outside his office windows was filled with the flickering lights of the city at night.Â
  And now⌠now you werenât there.Â
  Heâd left you alone.Â
  Heâd left you alone too long and you were gone.Â
  You were gone.Â
  You were gone and-
  âOh.â
  There you were.Â
  The relief when Sunghoon sees youâcurled up on the couch, partially hidden by a small pile of blankets and stuffed animalsâis immediate.
  He doesnât really register the way he sighs your name, shoulders relaxing, body melting into the floor the moment heâs in front of you, hand brushing a few messy strands of hair out of your face. The need to feel the warmth of your skin, to confirm that you really are there in front of him more an instinct than a conscious decision.Â
  You mumble something in your sleep, tilting your face away from his cold fingertips, eyes fluttering open. âHoon⌠hi baby⌠welcome home,â you say tiredly, shifting under your blankets in an attempt to pull yourself up.Â
  Sunghoon feels his heart crack in his chest. Why were you smiling at him? You should've been angry. You should've pushed him away, demanded to know why he was back so late, why he'd been neglecting you in the first place.Â
  âBaby? My love⌠why are you crying?â you ask, reaching for him through the haze of sleep still clinging to your limbs.Â
  Choking back a sob, he leans closer, tucking his head under your chin and doing his best to wrap an arm around you from his place on the carpeted floor. âNothing,â he says, shaking his head, though the tears soaking into your sternum say otherwise, âjust missed youâŚâ
  Your vision blurs at his words, a thread of steadily building tension and worry that had been constricting your heart for the past few weeks snapping. âOhâŚâ your voice shakes slightly, lungs shuddering as your breaths begin to feel lighter, âIâm right here you goose, whatâre you crying for?âÂ
  âWho says Iâm crying,â he says, hoarse with tears.Â
  âRight right,â you laugh despite the dampness now soaking through your own cheeks, âbecause my baby never cries, huh?âÂ
  âNever,â he sniffles, nuzzling closer.
  You stay like that for a while, eventually urging him to sit more comfortably on the couch, allowing you to settle yourself on his lap, his arms still wrapped firmly round your waist, hands occasionally kneading whatever part of you he was in contact with as if he needed to assure himself that you were there, solid and real.Â
  He waits until he feels your heartbeat slow to a steady rhythm, trying his best to calm down so his own can match yours, beat for beat. The way itâin his opinionâshould.Â
  But it wouldnât, there were words lodged in his throat, and every time he tried to get them out he felt that same panic wash over him, sending his heart into a frenzy.Â
  You could feel like beating against your cheek, could sense that there was something he wasnât saying from the way his grip on you would tighten almost imperceptibly, stiffening as if he was bracing himself for something. A part of you wanted to push him, prompt him and ask what was going through his head, why youâd woken up to the sight of him crying in the dim light of your living room. And you wouldâve if he hadnât beat you to it.Â
  âIâm sorry, (y/n).â
  âWhat do you mean? For being late? I know you canât help it, Hoon, itâs not some-â
  âNo! I mean yes, Iâm sorry for being late tonight but⌠I mean⌠I mean for everything⌠for not being⌠here, with you, like this⌠as often as I should be, Iâm sorry,â he says, the hands at your sides nervously fidgeting with the fabric at your hips, nervously looking between your face and the static tv screen behind you.Â
  Sunghoon had never been good with words. Youâd learned early on in your relationship that he preferred to show how he felt through his actions. Yet here he was, fumbling through an apology because⌠becauseâŚÂ
  âMy love⌠did you think Iâd left?â you ask, gently cupping his face with one hand, urging him to look at you.Â
  Puffy red eyes still wet with tears, messy unkempt hair from running his hands through it all day, tired and probably as emotionally spent as youâd ever seen him and still⌠still he was the most beautiful person in the world to you. He nodded, hiding his face in your chest again, hands stilling.Â
  âWell,â you sigh, resting your chin on top of his head and running a hand through the hair at the back of his head, combing through it in a way he swears only you can, âat least you know youâve got things you need to make up forâŚâ
  âI know⌠I forgot for a while⌠but I knowâŚâ
  âThatâs okay then,â you breathe, leaning back to kiss his forehead. âBut Sunghoon⌠baby⌠darling⌠the love of my life⌠my little pookie bear⌠â you both giggle a little at the pet names, âYou know Iâd never leave you over something like this right? I was sad, and hurt, and I still expect you to make it up to me by never doing this again but⌠I still love you, it only hurts because I love you⌠Iâm not going anywhere.â
  Sunghoon pauses for a moment, letting your words sink in. You think that when he looks up, lips slightly parted, itâs to say something in response, but you really shouldâve known better.Â
  Slowly, giving you enough time to pull away should you choose to, his breath mingling with yours before he steals it away with a soft, lingering kiss. Neither of you is in any rush to take things further.Â
  It feels like a small eternity before he pulls away, like time stills for you both, but then heâs pressing his lips to your jaw, butterfly kisses tickling you down to your pulse point, making you giggle so you almost miss it when he says, âI love you too⌠so muchâŚâÂ
âË âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľŕ¨ŕ§ ¡ ¡ ⥠¡ ¡ ŕ¨ŕ§âżď¸ľâżď¸ľâżď¸ľ Ëâ
  It isnât until the next day when youâre shuffling into your home office dressed in one of his oversized jerseys, complaining about a meeting that he remembers the flowers heâd seen on the kitchen island.
  Pulling out his phone, he makes good use of his detective skills (and google lens), remembering all the times youâd spoken to him about the language of flowers, and the meanings behind certain blooms.Â
  He wasnât quite sure whether to laugh or cry once heâd figured it out, opting to dig through the cabinets for a pack of waffle mix to fix you some breakfast instead. He had a lot of apologies to makeâŚ
Babyâs Breath: pure everlasting love
Pink Camellias: longing for you
Forget-me-nots: true love memories, do not forget me
emergency contact | park sunghoon x reader

prompt: weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that heâs still your emergency contact. pairing: non-idol sunghoon x implied female reader genre: angst with hopeful/happy? ending; second chance romance??; exes to lovers??? word count: 2800 note: iâve had a cute fic idea that i wanted to write foreverâŚbut this is not it. the sad demons have visited me once again. hope yâall enjoy nevertheless and any feedback is much appreciated <3
sunghoon was miserable.Â
it had been three weeks, five days, two hours, and thirty-two minutes since the two of you had gone no contact.
he wished he could say he was happy to be single, that he was no longer âlocked downâ and âwhippedâ as his friends had always called him. but the so-called âfreedomâ felt like hell since it meant losing you.
at first, he kept telling himself that time would heal the pain. âitâs natural,â he had repeated like a mantra, âshe was your best friend and lover for years.â but no, this heartbreak was inhumane. his desire to see you, apologize endlessly, and spend days holding you until you could feel every ounce of his love was gnawing at his soul. if anything, it got worse by the minute.
he had tried so hard to balance work and the rest of his life, using the excuse several times that he was securing this future for your shared life with him. that one day, youâd be able to reap the rewards of his efforts and live comfortably together without stress.
but what was the use of all of that now? the future he had worked so hard to create was ripped out from his hands by no one other than himself.Â
you had accused him of being too busy for you. dates canceled at the last minute, a birthday forgotten, and all the texts left on read had built up to the argument that ended it all. he was always good at fighting, a little too good. he had retorted that you werenât being supportive, and he was never one to sugarcoat his words. his tongue was sharp, and he did nothing to dull its blade.
but there wasnât too much yelling on your part, and he thought that that hurt more. he wanted you to fight back, to stand your ground because he knew deep down that he was being the asshole. his toxic thought was that by you fighting back, this meant that you were still fighting for your relationship. but instead, you just stared with silent tears and a blank expression. seeing the indifference in eyes that had previously held so much love was a sight that would stay with him forever. so, in fear of you leaving, he ran instead.
he was a coward, leaving your shared home to run back to the apartment he had still technically owned but hadnât lived in for more than a year. he locked himself away for a few days, but the realization that you hadnât attempted to contact him burned more than he could put into words. you were done with him. he had hurt you, had the audacity to be the one to run, and now he had lost you.
he had even run from his job. he couldnât stand to walk into the same building he stayed in when he forgot dates with you. his coworkers wouldnât stop asking what happened to him, why he looked so rough. he even found an empty container that had once held lunch you made for him. but his final straw was getting promoted. his first instinct was to call you, but he remembered the sad truth before he could dial. any ounce of pride was washed away with shame in that moment. that same day, he quit without notice.
so there he was: miserable, alone, and unemployed with nothing left to run from but memories. he had spent the last week going through his phone and saving your pictures together in a locked album. he wouldnât dare delete them, but he couldnât stomach looking at you either.
he wished he could get drunk and sleep away the pain. he had tried, he definitely did - but that night, he dreamt of you. you were smiling at first, eyes ever full of love. you were speaking, yet he couldnât hear you. but he could see how your words started to gradually look sadder, and slowly, tears started to fall as your grin dropped. he woke up that next morning crying with the conclusion that he would have to face this heartbreak sober.
but another day of scrolling through albums had stopped abruptly when he saw the notification that changed everything.
SOS i called emergency services from this approximate location after my watch detected a hard fall. you are receiving this message because i have you listed as my emergency contact.
sunghoon had to remind himself to breathe.
he had purchased that watch for you as a âjust becauseâ present months ago. you had complained of bad sleep and he wanted you to use it as a way to track your slumber. he hated seeing you tired. he knew that the watch had a fall detection function, but it had never been used before.
his heart was in his stomach as he went to his favorite contacts page and selected your name for the first time in weeks.
âplease,â he begged, all notion of running away from you leaving his brain, âpick up please.â
but you just werenât answering. so he tried again and again and again.
for a moment while the line attempted to connect, he wondered if this was how he had made you feel for months - desperate for a sliver of attention from him. but instead, he was desperate for a sign of life.
finally, after about two minutes of trying to reach you, his body moved of its own accord. before he knew it, his car keys were in his hands and he was out the door.
the car ride there might have been the worst part. the speed at which he drove at almost defied the laws of physics. other drivers were cursing at him but he wasnât registering anything except the thought of your safety. he just needed to get to you.
why did he run? why didnât he try to talk it out? if he was so afraid of losing you, why did he do the one thing that would guarantee that? he should have been there like he promised to be from the beginning. you would have been safe with him.
when he pulled up to the house you had shared for so long, he suddenly felt the world slow down. why were emergency services there? you shouldâve canceled them by now.
he had to double park as the ambulance was blocking the driveway. why were they here?
the emts and police had arrived at the same time as him, which both increased his anxiety and soothed him. for one, that meant he had been quick enough. but why did you need them?
âsir, do you knowââ an officer had approached him as he stumbled to the front door. all he could understand was your name. why were they asking if he knew you? of course he knew you. you, the love of his life. you, his soulmate by every meaning of the word. you were you. and you were safe.
as if sensing his distress, he felt an emt worker pull him to the side as the same officer prepared to break down the door. seeing this, sunghoon finally returned to his senses.
âw-wait! sorry, i have a key.â sunghoonâs hands were shaking. the only way that door had unlocked was by pure muscle memory because he didnât understand what he was doing at all.
as soon as the door opened, sunghoon tried to step in. finally, he was close to you.Â
the officer, however, pulled him back.
âsir, you should wait here. we need to make an initial search before you can go in.â
âwhat, why? if sheâs in there, i want to seeââ
âsir, itâs just in case we find something we wouldnât want you to see.â
all of sunghoonâs hesitation and fear went out the window at those words. his body flew automatically as he ran inside.
he screamed your name as he rushed in, ignoring the yells of the police officers who followed him in. as it had been for almost four weeks, his only thought was you. he just needed you.
he checked the ground floor first, eyes scanning the open space in less than a second as his body avoided an officer trying to grab him. sunghoon then moved to the staircase, long legs prepared to skip steps to reach you. then suddenly, he heard the voice his ears had been longing for,
âsunghoon?!â
his head shot up. there you were, finally. he saw the sadness, confusion, and fear all flash your face as you registered the emergency workers behind him. you looked exhausted and unruly, but he had never felt more in love.
he didnât even remember climbing the steps, but suddenly he was at the top of the staircase and you were in his arms.Â
you could feel him trembling as he held you. you took his face into your hands to look at him, âsunghoon? whatâs wrong? why are you here? is it my parents? is someone hurt?â you watched as his mouth opened but no words came out. after a few seconds, one of the officers spoke from the bottom of the steps,
âmaâam, we received an alert from your device that a hard fall had occurred.â
suddenly, you understood everything. taking sunghoonâs hand gently, you led him down the stairs, afraid heâd fall from shock. he followed you silently, but his grip tightened seemingly with every step.
thatâs when you noticed your shattered watch on the third step.
you let sunghoon go and you could hear his deep breath when you did. you picked up the watch and offered it up to the officer as an explanation, âiâm sorry officer, it looks like thereâs been a misunderstandingâŚâ
the officer nodded in understanding, and dismissed the emts, âgot it, maâam. we will still need a formal report for our records since this was registered as an emergency call.â he motioned to your couch as he took out a pen and paper.
you reached for sunghoonâs hand once more and led him to sit with you. in the moment, you knew he needed you more than you would ever understand. so, as you explained to the officer, you held his trembling hand, rubbing soothing circles with your thumb.
âi was doing laundry here downstairs and had taken off my watch to prevent it from getting wet,â you recounted, âi put it on top of the basket of clothes that i took upstairs. i remember tripping a little going up the stairs - i didnât fall, but that mustâve been when the watch fell."
"what about your phone, where is it? i'm sure your boyfriend must've tried to call you."
sunghoon slowly nodded at that, turning to look at you. you smiled sheepishly, "i left it upstairs and it was on silent while i folded the clothes. iâm so sorry for the inconvenience.â
after finishing up your statement, the remaining officer prepared to leave. as he walked out the door, he gave a soft smile to the both of you,
âglad to see it was a false alarm, maâam. you had this gentleman quite worried - ran so fast i couldnât even grab him!â the officer laughed, âyou two have a nice day now! sorry about your watch, though!â
after he shut your door, the silence enveloped your home. you closed your eyes and breathed deeply to prepare to speak to your ex-boyfriend. but as soon as you opened them, sunghoon started to cry softly.
he hugged you tighter than he ever had, and soon enough, his face was buried in your neck. his cries were silent, but you could feel his body shaking as his tears soaked your shirt.
âsunghoonâŚâ you started, stroking his back, âiâm sorry i worried you, honey.â
you knew you shouldnât be calling your ex pet names, especially an ex that had run from you without properly ending the relationship. but your heart still held so much love for him that it flowed out naturally. and you knew he was crying from more than just worry, so you doubt he minded at all in the moment.
his crying slowed down as his arms took to loosely wrapping around your waist instead. he pulled away from your neck to rest his forehead on yours. from this angle, you could see his swollen eyes and red nose - a sight so rare in all the years you had dated. he was never a crier after all.
but memories of several late-night conversations rushed your mind. he always said his number one fear was your death, and now you could see he had never lied about that.
he could see your mind go elsewhere so he called your name softly, âdonât say youâre sorry. iâm so happy, these are relieved tears. and i just really, really missed you.â he croaked out. you knew he had more to say, so you just nodded, letting him go on.
âand iâm sorry, baby. for everything. i shouldnât have run, i shouldnât have tried to egg you on to fight me back. i shouldnât have even fought anything you said that night. you were right. i didnât prioritize you. in my attempt to secure you for life, i let you go instead. iâm so sorry, i never wanted to break up.â he was rambling in earnest now, afraid that no words would make you take him back.
you listened quietly as he went on for a few minutes after that, hand continuing to rub his back, âi know honey, i know.â
âbaby, you need to understand that i almost died thinking you almost died today,â you couldâve laughed at how dramatically he spoke, âi couldnât breathe right thinking that our last conversation couldâve been an argument. that you wouldn't have ever known just how deeply i love you and need you. i have so much regret for how i treated you, but if youâd give me the chance, i have all the time in the world to make it up to youâŚletâs go on that vacation i promised you. we can leave tomorrow if youâd like.â he smiled hopefully at you.
âhoon,â his heart soared at the use of his beloved nickname, âwhat do you mean? donât you have work? can you really leave with such short notice?â
âi quit my job.â
âexcuse me?â
âno job that made me work that much is worth it. iâll find one with better work-life balanceâŚafter our vacation. if thatâs what you still want of courseâŚâ he spoke more quietly, as if afraid of rejection.
you sighed. you really should be realistic with this - you two had been broken up for a few weeks at that point. you knew the love was still there, but was this a good decision?
while there was still some hesitation on your part, you couldn't help but notice how gingerly he held you. his arms were still around your waist loosely, yet there was something desperate about their hold. you knew he was holding back from hurting you - you could tell how tightly he wanted to hug you.
he was so shaken up at the idea of you being hurt that he rushed over there despite the two of you not being on speaking terms. for someone who had trouble communicating how he felt sometimes, you knew his actions spoke louder than words. he always acted brave, but there was so much he feared. and you knew losing you was always at the top of this list.
you could also feel how he was simply soaking in the sight of your face. his eyes were shy, yet determined. he wasn't going to risk missing another second of staring at you. a part of you grew conscious, but you knew he was just taking in what he had missed for weeks.
âwhat aboutâŚâ you started and almost giggled at how he perked up, âwe take it slow - another two weeks or so to talk everything out and relax? to get us to a good place again before you hold me hostage in some foreign country?â
sunghoon smiled softly, kissing your forehead. you leaned in naturally to his warmth, to his touch that you missed so much. âthat sounds like a great idea, love.â he spoke, âweâll get you a new watch too. and iâll do all the itinerary planning and packing whenever youâre ready, okay? i love you.â
âokay. and i love you too. canât wait to enjoy your unemployment with you for now!â
one smile and nod from you had him taking you into his arms once more, relishing in your being. he was back where he belonged. he had experienced the scariest reminder ever that he needed you, and sunghoon was never letting you go now.
omg wait i hit 200+ notes on sunday mornings, tysm đĽšđŤśđť
the way i just decided to check and itâs at exactly 200 likes omg thank you all đđťââď¸
i wasnât that proud of that fic since iâm a bit rusty at writing, but iâm happy to see people still enjoyed it a lil at least đ