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me when im playing whack a mole in the chuck e cheese and im only 30 tickets away from the ps2 and i can taste blood in my mouth but i have to lock in or else ill only be able to get a shitty sticky hand or a stale tootsie roll
generally speaking when it comes to mental and physical health, if you're asked "do you struggle with this" and your answer is "no, Because I Have A System," then your answer is actually yes
how i look at you after saying something incomprehensible
got obliterated by a 1-2 combo of truly heinous shirts at the mall shirt store today
*cackles in validation* Hey. Hey guys. Is Atsushi the bookmark because he’s the protagonist of the story and thus the page is marked depending on his phase of the journey, or is he the protagonist because he is the bookmark, where his very existence necessitates him becoming a catalyst so the story can unfold and be read in linear time?
Sometimes the technology conspires against me to make me sound crazy in my text messages.
caving expedition in the body of a fallen angel
Just saw an ad for fucking Kellog's cornflakes wherein a shirtless blindfolded man tied to a bed is like "Wait.. are you... eating??" and it pans across the bed to reveal that his partner is, indeed, too distracted to have sex with him bc she is chowing down on corn flakes. Now I've been caught up in wondering whether:
a) John Harvey Kellog would despise this ad; the mere proximity of bondage-play to his brand name and beloved anti-porn flakes is unforgivable
b) John Harvey Kellog would enjoy this ad, because it shows a young woman forsaking the temptations of the flesh in favour of eating a wholesome and nourishing bowl of cornflakes
Me when I use the blender that makes 50% of all turtles feel immeasurable pain
they/them pronouns suddenly easy to use on trans people who use either he/him or she/her pronouns
I'm at a :.|:; for words.
This is actually the best image ive ever fucking made
down with found family. UP with FOUND DIVORCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
interaction i have with shocking regularity is when someone’s complaining abt someone they know and theyre like “ughh they’re 21 and dont have a job and refuse to learn to drive” and then they remember who they’re talking to (me. 21 cant work cant drive) and go like
if i was a vampire i would hang up a bunch of pictures in my house but for some reason inexplicably one wall of pictures would have them all hung sideways and then whenever the rando i’ve lured into my Vampire House looks at them they’ll instinctively tilt their head to one side to look at the pictures thus leaving their neck wide open for Vampire Shenanigans to ensue. step one of making this plan happen is becoming a vampire. if you’re a vampire i’ll totally let you have my very good idea but in exchange you gotta make me a vampire also, no take backsies
Spoopy Season Safety
sending asks is so scary what if i sneezed on my keyboard and mistyped my entire adress and misgendered everyone and mispelled every single word and also typed my password into the message. what then. once the ask is sent who knows what it looks like. i couldve tyepd anything
went on the most insane grindr date of my life last night hold on
In this house, we love and respect our woke and unhinged bisexual nonbinary gremlin.
hi gay
hi whore
What if I was a thing without eyes and u were a thing that cannot be looked upon and we were in love in Minecraft