I Hope Lance Is Okay. That Was A Nasty Hit.

I hope Lance is okay. That was a nasty hit.

According to Sean Ross Sapp Archer walked to the back on his own power.

Thankfully he's not paralyzed or anything like that. Now it's just seeing what that concussion arc is looking like.

This omg 🥰🥰🎄

Naughty Is The New Nice

Pairing: Lance Archer x Fem Reader

Summary: (Since it is December, I am making some Christmas fics/Merry Smutmas because yall know I'm all about the smut)

After moving in with one another, Lance and the reader are ready for their first Christmas together, having a true, happy moment, but unable to keep themselves off the naughty list...

(Note: I never wrote for Lance so I hope I did well! I couldn't see this idea with anyone else but him for some reason lol)

Warnings: SMUT! (18+ ONLY!)(Unprotected sex, creampie)

Requested by: No one (But I hope you all enjoy it!)

Word Count: 1779

Tag List: @demonqueen29 @jessiebean00 @new-zealand-chic  @crowleysqueenofhell @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @thatpanpal @hungmanhorsecarriage @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch @linziland13 @xxx-jazz-xxx @writtingrose

I DO OWN THIS GIF:

"Babe, do you care if I have your jacket? It's colder than I thought." I shivered, in the passenger seat curled up in a ball.

Lance and I moved in with one another earlier this year and for Christmas, we were picking out a real Christmas tree. I assumed that my sweater would keep me warm, but the second he parked and turn off the truck, all of the cold hit me.

"Didn't I tell you to grab a jacket?" He chuckled, looking over to see me.

"Babe!" I pouted, "I thought it would keep me warm but it's not."

My puppy dog eyes always worked on him; Either way, he was going to give me his jacket, but I did because he could never tell me no when I pulled the puppy dog eyes.

"Here," He handed over his jacket, and the moment I put on his jacket; I was warm again. All of his body heat trapped inside to warm me, like being a sleeping bag considering his massive size, "Good thing I wore my good flannel."

He was only teasing, taking my hand once we got out, eyes looking around to all of the Christmas light around us, ranging from gold to red, to green, to blue.

We started out at the small trees, making our way up to see all the options. I made sure to look at all of the sizes, but one, in particular, caught my eye. It was about six feet tall, even all around, and something about it spoke to me.

"Ooo, Lance! Wait!" I gasped, squeezing his hand to make him stop, "What do you think of this one?"

"It's so tiny!" He laughed, standing next to it, taller than the tree.

Even I laughed at that, expressing, "Sorry I'm not a giant like you."

"I was thinking of that one!" He pointed out, going over to a HUGE tree. That tree had to have been almost eight feet tall. Lance is a tall man and that tree was even bigger than him.

"Will that even fit on the truck?! Let alone in the house?" I questioned, wrapping his jacket around me tighter when I felt the cold whipping through the trees.

"It'll fit!" He assured, "Come on! It's the best tree here!"

It was a huge tree, but I know we'd have fun decorating it, and seeing him excited about a tree was priceless. I waddled over quickly into his arms for a warm hug, smiling up at him, "Let's get it!"

"Hell yeah!" He smiled, picking me up and spinning me around.

Giggles turned into little puffs of mist while he went round and round, snowflakes falling into his hair, those big arms that I loved having me locked in warmth and love. It didn't take long to get the tree paid for and loaded onto the truck. When we got home, I went right inside for decorations.

"Are you a lumberjack now?" I giggled, seeing Lance coming through the front door, the tree on his shoulder as if it were a small box.

In the far corner of our living room facing the furniture, I placed the base of the tree. Lance was right, the tree did fit in the house like it was made just for us. While getting decorations sorted, he was nice and made hot chocolate like I asked, started up the fireplace, getting that extra cozy feeling with the first sip.

For the tree, we went with the colors red and gold. Full of ornaments from top to bottom, white lights to complement it from every angle, a red skirt at the bottom. The last thing there was to do was put on the star.

I got up on my tiptoes and I don't know why I even tried! That tree was way taller than me, no matter how high I tried to jump, there's no way I'd get the star on top without it falling and breaking.

"You look like Super Mario!" Lance laughed, finishing his drink on the couch.

"That's real nice, babe," I huffed with defeat, till he put the brightest smile on my face.

He took me by the hips, lifting me up onto his shoulder so I could reach the top. Looking down to see his blue eyes, full of color, that handsome little grin of his, it filled my heart with so much joy and happiness.

"The final piece," I smiled, putting the star on, "Is it on right?"

He took a few steps back, still on his shoulder so we both could see. I never had such a gorgeous Christmas tree in my life.

"I'd say we put together one good, good tree," He smiled, squeezing my thigh.

"We sure did," I smiled back, holding his head close, "It's beautiful. Really feels like Christmas in here."

I couldn't stop smiling till I end up squealing. He threw me up a little, throwing me over his shoulder just for fun.

"Hey!" I laughed, "So not funny!"

"Then why are you laughing?" He argued, spanking my ass.

"You better watch out. Christmas is soon and you don't want to end up on the naughty list," I teased, wiggling my hips and receiving another spank:

"I'm always on the naughty list and you're joining me this year."

"I'm a good girl," I persisted, breaking out in laughs again when he rolled his eyes, swinging me into both arms:

"Maybe when you want to be! But naughty is the new nice and I got a nice present for you."

"What could that possibly be?" I kissed, scruffing his beard, his hand squishing my thigh while he cooed:

"All I can do is show you."

The couch tended to my every curve, the heat from the fireplace adding to my rush, already lost in lust when the lights turned off. Lance was like a tower above me, a mountain of a body to admire once his shirt was gone.

His beard against my neck made me giggle, but his kisses were hot and slow, not needing to try in order to get noise out of me already. When we were down to nothing but skin, I grew a little impatient, ready for my, gift, and he observed that quickly.

"You're definitely ending up on the naughty list after tonight," He noted, smiling devilishly when I kissed:

"You were the one who said that naughty is the new nice."

All it took was a little tongue, nibbling at his lip a bit and he instantly snapped into his animalistic ways, knees pushed down to the couch to be as spread as possible, his cock rock hard and taking its path into me, cunt soaked just from kisses and little spicy words.

"L-lance, baby-" I shook, a single thrust filling me and splitting me wide with no time for adjusting, hands reaching for him."

"Just that moan alone did the trick," He chuckled, wanting more, just the look in his eyes telling me that I was going to end up being even louder.

"You know that you're massive baby," I cooed, enjoying a slow thrust, humming, "It so-ah!"

A wicked thrust cut me off, reverting back to senseless moans, deeper into the couch, cock sliding down to just his tip, then pounding it all back right up to my cervix, at some points it felt beyond that.

"It's so what?" He wondered purposely, loving the sight of me being so lost in pleasure, squirming already from every sense being overloaded, having to add to it with bites along my neck that found my nipples, sucking so hard to make me squirm even more

I wanted to answer, but every thrust rattled me down to the bone, movements uncontrollable to the point where he took my wrists, pinning me down, his broad chest heavy against mine, my heart beating harder, gasping for air on top of his cock ruining my lower half.

"You better answer me," He growled in my ear, grunting with even harder thrusts that pushed me to screams, orgasm building faster and I cried out:

"It's so fucking good baby, fuck!"

My hips were jerking so hard, even with him on top of me. Lance gave some assistance, wrapping my legs around his waist, squeezing around him with all my strength, arms wrapped his neck, still frantic, scratching at his shoulders and back.

I could hear faint laughs when my eyes rolled backward, being bottomed out and his speed not daring to fail even once.

"Keep squeezing me like that and there's gonna be a big mess on the couch," He laughed, but grunted hard when we felt another tight squeeze, my heart beating faster and all of my deeper thoughts came out, moaning into his ear:

"Just cum in me, baby."

"Yeah?" He asked, caught off guard by my words.

"Yeah, I'm about to cum and it's so good," I gasped, holding onto him with all fours, eyes rolling like dice, "I don't want you to s-stop. Don't stop, baby! Don't stop!"

He had the green light and he took off, a hard kiss pushing my head deep into the cushion while he went off, not stopping as I said, having me scream his name while my walls spasmed, gushing around him and soaking his cock down to his thighs.

His heavy breathing let me know that he was at his point after the intensity of my orgasm carried onto him, hips still thrusting fast and hard, cock throbbing and having my tight cunt ache a bit, soul nearly leaving my body when my arms dropped, sweet moans spilling when I felt his stream of heat blasting inside of me.

"O-oh, oh my g-god," I barely breathed, having a moment to breathe while he kept his hips pinned against mine, whispering to me:

"I'm going to want to do that all the time, now. That was too damn good."

I replied with a nod, but he was still able to get slight moans from me, sitting up to let his cock slide back out, watching his seed ooze out a little, cock easing back in slowly knowing the friction still there, keeping me full:

"Now that's a beautiful fucking sight."

"Santa is definitely skipping our house this year," I managed to make him laugh, Lance making me laugh more:

"Yeah, because if he does, he's going to see some real naughty shit and will want to retire."

"Like that even matters," I smiled, hugging him like a big teddy bear, "All I want is you. The best gift I could ask for. Even if you are naughty as hell."

Thank you for being a friend.

Estelle Gettlemen: July 25, 1923 - July 22, 2008

Beatrice Arthur: May 13, 1922 - April 25, 2009

Eddi-Rue McClanahan: February 21, 1934 - June 3, 2010

Betty Marion White Ludden: January 17, 1922 - December 31, 2021

🥰🥰🥰🥰

Can you write any headcanons for Lance Archer? 🥰

He's a giant murder teddy bear

He's really a sweetheart

He will tease you a lot for no reason

The man uses his height to his advantage and makes you jump for everything

This man loves to pull pranks so be careful

He treats his special someone like the queen/king they are

He puts his SO before himself

Will literally have you limping for days

Definitely a dom daddy and a brat tamer

Will punish you for your bratty ways and attitude

Will break you until you understand that he won't tolerate a brat

Would literally fuck the brat out of you