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♡ 　 　 + 　　　sae + you 　💖 ⟡　dating 　 ˚

fluffy things i thought of because school is wack nd we all need love or smth

sfw work + headcanon style, not proof read

super protective over you when he finally dates you and makes it clear to everyone else in the world that he's yours

will berate his manager if the poor dude tells him to not make the relationship public, he may have tried private before but can’t stand having others think he’s single or others trying to hit on you

flies you to all his games and will give you his old shirts, it's a given but he likes it when you wear them 

thinks he can hide his jealousy well but when you show the slightest interest to any other player he’s sulking 

buys you everything, anything - things he considers necessities

i’m being so serious when i say this but he will never want you to lift a finger - cooking and cleaning will never be a problem for you, just smile for him

if you give him those boyfriend tests he'd pass with flying colors just because he studies them

doesn't hesitate to bring you over to his home to meet his parents to prove how serious he is

he'd be very straightforward about how he's feeling because he doesn't want you to get the wrong idea or get insecure

first to apologise in a fight because he can't stand being without you and doesn't want you mad at him

10/10 god send me this guy irl soon

a/n - sitting in the drafts (1) + i hope you had a fun time reading this

☆ 𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝘆 𝘄𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 - ,, 𝘀𝗮𝗲

summary: two months since you've broken up—sae still sees you in everything he does. it's only because he's unwilling to let you go. you're the best thing he's ever had.

warnings: gn!reader , reader wears make-up , angst , kind of fluff towards the end , second-chance romance , sae is absolutely obsessed with you , word vomit , not proof read !! word count: 6.1k a/n: jesus this was not supposed to be this long. pls ignore the cringe ass titile its a staple of my fics tbh. wrote this instead of studying for my finals—my priorities are def in check! in a sae mood and i love this trope so here we are. pulled an all-nighter for this + i wrote this in one sitting so soz if its kind of bad T^T

he feels a bit pathetic as he presses send, watching the text bubble turn a bright green. another text that will remain unanswered. it's not like he's expecting a response anyway, at this point he's given up on that.

sae falls back on the bed and runs his hand through his slightly damp hair. it doesn't feel anything like how it used to feel, when you would do it instead. he's fresh out of the shower after a long and gruelling day. practice ran over and so he didn't get to stretch after, his manager rushing him out for the next thing on his schedule: an interview. 

an interview that went poorly since all the questions were too personal—the world had moved on from his football skills, they wanted to know about his life instead. sae's never been open like that, not even to the people closest to him, and definitely not to strangers. 

plus, he thinks to himself as he stares up at the ceiling, it's not like there's anything interesting to talk about anyway. 

there's leftovers waiting for him in the fridge: takeout because he doesn't cook. he can't remember the last time he had home cooked anything. if he thinks about it a little longer, though, it would be obvious that it would have been whenever you were last around.

before you left. before he had hurt you. before the both of you gave up on each other. 

he picks at the side of his phone case, there's a groove in the plastic where he had dropped it and he drives his nail into it. sae considers sending another text—when (if) you decide to look, you might pity him and call him. 

he knows you too well to fool himself into believing that. you're not calling him, not anytime soon, probably not ever. he holds out hope anyway. sae can be optimistic when he wants to; he's trying to make amends even if you're not here to see it. 

his bedroom is a miserable sight. not much has changed about in the last few months, but it feels different now that you're not here. everything seems more drab and, vaguely, he recalls you telling him to paint the walls a different colour. 

"ever considered like- a pastel blue or something?" you had asked him one afternoon, head against his lap while you scrolled through instagram, liking whatever was on your feed. 

"i like the white," he had responded plainly, fingers messing with the necklace he had gifted you. it was a heart-shaped locket, he hadn't intended for you to put a picture of him inside, though that's what you did. 

he wonders if you kept it. it's unlikely. 

now, as he stares at the alabaster walls and ceiling, he considers changing it to pastel blue. it might remind him of you, it'll probably only stir up the guilt residing in his chest, but he writes it into his schedule anyway.  

he drops his phone on the mattress beside him, eyes closed because he can't bear to stare at the ceiling for a moment longer. it only reminds him of how quiet it is—how the tv isn't playing some random youtube video, how his record player has been untouched for two months. how you're not there to hum quietly to yourself as you go about your business. 

his phone buzzes softly and he heaves a breath. for a moment, he thinks it might be you and his heart crawls up to his throat, lodging itself there. he checks the message with bated breath, feeling his anticipation fall through at the realisation that it's from his manager. 

"you have a shoot tomorrow morning. 6AM. please don't forget." 

he checks the date quickly, staring at his calendar blankly. sae can't do anything tomorrow---he won't. not tomorrow. he sends a text dismissing his manager and telling him to clear out his schedule tomorrow. 

he receives a flurry of messages in response, none of which he reads. none of them are from you. he wonders what you're doing right now. 

it's past dinner so you've probably eaten already. maybe, you're on the couch, laptop in front of you as you finish up some work you couldn't get to earlier today. you were always good about respecting your time and his: getting your work done early enough to get started on dinner, making sure your weekend was cleared in case he wanted to go somewhere. 

thinking back on it now, he definitely didn't deserve you. sae thinks you were too forgiving, too kind, too understanding. sae thinks you let him walk all over you for too long. you should have ended things when he forgot about a date for the second time. if you had done that, he might not have been yours for as long as he got to be—he never would have fallen as hard as he did. 

if you had, he wouldn't be thinking of you now like he does every night and every morning. 

he rolls on his side, the bed is cold beneath him. he's not tired, but he forces himself to sleep anyway. he might see you in his dreams if he hurries. 

-: ✧ :-

sae stands in front of his closet, staring at all his shirts hung up on hangers. there's a folded pile of clothes on a shelf that juts out from the left—a few hoodies, four sweaters, piled atop one another. they've stayed that way for a couple months, ever since you left. they were all your favourites. 

he stares at the pile for a moment too long, then settles for a plain brown sweater and shrugs it on. his manager had messaged him early this morning just to ask if he was serious about what he had said last night. sae was so serious about it, he was in deep sleep when the message came through. 

he shuffles into the kitchen and looks through the cupboard, finding them too empty. making a mental note to go grocery shopping, he grabs a granola bar and wanders over to the balcony. 

the view he has from his apartment in tokyo is a pretty one. sae had always preferred something quieter and greener, with more trees and less pavement. you liked the city, though, and you liked speculating about the people you'd see meandering along. 

"what do you think about her?" you'd ask, nodding at the old lady rifling through her purse. her hair is dark like a raven's feathers, not a hint of grey in sight. "do you think she's on her way to a date?"

sae would scoff, bringing his cup of tea to his lips, ignoring the way it burns his tongue because you'd laugh at him for not letting it cool like you told him to. "what makes you think that? she probably has a good-for-nothing man back home."

"are you trying to say old people can't find love?" you'd respond with a playful hum. "look at her, she looks great. maybe, it's for the love of her life."

"the love of her life should accept her as she is."

then, you'd step closer to his side, "is that what you would do?"

"yeah, i'd accept you no matter how wrinkly you are."

"aw, you're sweet. i might leave you though." and then you'd laugh at his incredulous stare. he can almost hear it as he watches the woman disappear from his view. 

sae steps back inside and drops the granola bar's wrapper on his coffee table, slipping on his shoes. he's picking at the groove on his phone again. he's thinking of you again. 

he's thinking of the soft planes of your face, the way your lips would curl as you smiled. he's thinking of how long your lashes are, how they would flutter against your cheeks when you'd close your eyes. he's thinking of how you'd say his name, warm and inviting and devoted.

and as he climbs into his car, he's thinking of how you had said it the day you left. 

"you stopped trying, and i refuse to do this alone, sae."

he turns a corner and out of his neighborhood. he thinks about how your voice broke and feels sick, knuckles turning white at how hard he's gripping the steering wheel. 

his drive is silent. sae never really plays music in his car and he doesn't touch the radio because he's sick of hearing the same song over and over again. you hated the silence so you'd always play something, humming along to it. 

sometimes, you'd just sing it yourself and those days, sae remembers well. but he remembers most things about you. 

it's been two months and that's not nearly enough time for him to unlearn the sound of your voice, the shape of your face and body, and how you used to love him. (he's not really trying—too scared to forget you because memories are all he really has left of you). 

the grocery store is quiet, typical of a wednesday morning. most people are at work and their children are at school. sae browses the aisles while pretending to take interest in the things he sees, hoping it'll ward off any employees from asking if he needs any help. 

he picks up some ramen and drops it into the red basket in his hand. it's the only thing in there and he chews on the inside of his cheek. sae never cooks but he finds himself with the produce anyway, grabbing the first thing (cabbage) he sees and dropping it into his basket. 

"you can't eat out all the time." you chastised him, dropping a few carrots into your basket that you were now sharing with him. 

sae was standing idly behind you, watching you grab things, unable to imagine what the final product could possibly be. he's never bothered learning to cook and he's kind of a danger in the kitchen, according to you. "i don't eat out all the time. i eat ramen too."

you rolled your eyes, "wow, congrats. that's not any better." 

you moved in with him a week after that, he remembers. your copy of his keys are now sitting in some drawer, seemingly forgotten about even though sae seeks them out sometimes. all your keyrings are still on it. 

sae grabs a bottle of salted kombucha and decides to conclude his trip, making his way over to the cashier. she's pretty, he thinks. she does her eyeliner in the same way you do. 

he doesn't bring a reusable bag with him, he stopped doing that once you left. you were always the more environmentally conscious one. sae doesn't think he'll live long enough to see the earth explode (which you had said was morbid). 

there's barely anything in his plastic bag: the ramen, the cabbage, and the kombucha. he wonders if the girl is thinking about what he plans on doing with the cabbage. 

"um- i'm sorry," she begins and sae drags his gaze up to her once more. staring at her eyeliner, thinking about you. "can i get your number, maybe?"

she doesn't know him, he realises. or maybe she does and she's shooting her shot anyway—she's braver than most. sae hasn't tried dating in the months you've been gone, he doesn't think there's a point to it. 

two weeks ago, at a party, he tried taking someone home with him. he would never date them, they don't seem like someone who would make him tea in the morning. (something you did without fail, even if you woke up hours after him). so, he chose to sleep with them instead, hoping it might ease some of the loneliness in his bed, even just temporarily. he never made it out the door with them, leaving them behind with some excuse because he couldn't stop thinking about you.

their hand on his shoulder, trailing down his arm, and for a split second he felt you. the slight drag of your nails, the sweet scent of your perfume. the music around him and the voices of especially loud partygoers melted away just long enough for him to hear you. sae heard you say his name the same way you always did, and he left the person he had been walking out with. 

he rushed out the door too fast for his liking. if his manager had been around, he might have advised him to fix his expression lest anyone thinks that something had gone wrong at the party. 

he didn't try pursuing anyone after that.

the girl behind the counter shifts her weight from foot to foot, wringing her hands together as sae remembers what she had asked him. 

he should tell her that he's too busy for things like that. he's not looking to date. "no, i have a partner."

he surprises himself as much as he surprises her, who looks down and mutters a quick apology for taking up his time. when sae leaves the store, there's something similar to nausea swirling in the pit of his stomach.

his granola bar from this morning might have expired, he never checks these things. or, maybe he's feeling guilty for using you like you were still his; you probably have someone new anyway. 

the thought leaves him in despair as he gets into his car, his bag of things in the passenger seat. sae tries not to think about it any longer because it shouldn't matter to him what you're doing. it shouldn't matter who you're spending time with. 

the day you left, you told him that he was the one who gave up first. that he was the one who turned your relationship sour. that he was the one who saw what you two had turned into and deemed it unworthy of being saved. 

that night, as you stood in front of him, your eyes glazed over with unshed tears, he couldn't even tell you that you were wrong. 

sae knew he gave up first. sae knew that he was the one who started coming home later and later, the one who forgot about dates repeatedly, the one who didn't remember anniversaries until you brought them up first. 

he was the one who left you behind.

you were always too good for him. he sends you another text and watches the bubble stay green, like all the ones before. then, he drives without a destination in mind. 

-: ✧ :-

he had been driving for hours. the kombucha in his bag had started to grow warm, condensation wetting the plastic. 

it's been hours. he's driven past the same stores over and over again and sae wonders if someone inside has noticed. he doesn't really want to go home, not yet. driving keeps him away from the emptiness of his apartment. 

he remembers how he wanted to paint his walls and stops by a hardware place, deciding to commit to the pastel blue walls. 

it's just as empty inside as it was in the grocery store. the work day hasn't ended yet, and there's still an hour or two before school lets out. he can't really remember though, it's been a long time since sae has been in school. and anyway, he doesn't think children are rushing to spend their time at a hardware store.

they probably have better things to do, they're not as miserable as he is. 

sae grimaces as he realises how pitiful he's been as of late, making his way over to the paint chip, struggling to spot the difference between sky blue and baby blue. both seem a bit too bright—he's looking for something even softer. 

"would you like some help, sir?" someone asks from beside him. they're wearing a vest with the store's logo—a young boy with a squeaky voice. he stares at him for a second and sae watches recognition flash in his eyes.

"you're- you're itoshi sae!" he says loudly, and his voice pitches a bit higher. it's grating, sae thinks, as he nods slowly in response to the boy's excitement. 

"i'm such a big fan!" 

he tells sae how he's been following his career since he came back from spain. that was 4 years ago now, back when he met you for the first time. 

the boy seems to realise that he's being somewhat disruptive and quiets down, gathering his composure and asking sae if he needed help once again. sae waves him off and settles on 'moonlight blue', grabbing the paint and checking out.  

by the time he makes it out, it's early evening and the sky is starting to take on a pinkish hue. you liked sunsets more than sunrises because you were never much of an early riser. 

he remembers when you had pretended to be, trying to catch him meditating in the mornings. it lasted for about a week before you gave up and sae told you to simply sleep in, a hand brushing over your cheek as he placed a kiss on your forehead. 

he drives around some more, the paint rattling in the trunk, his kombucha gone completely warm in the passenger seat. his manager has sent him a few more texts but he looks past those notifications and opens up his messages with you instead. 

it's not good for him, reading your old conversations, but he does so anyway. before the texts turned green and before he stopped existing in your world. he always scrolls a bit faster when he hits the months that preceded the break-up—the ones where you'd send him text after text and he would respond with a single word. 

the guilt eats him up like a starving animal, jaw nearly unhinged as it sinks its teeth into him and rips, leaving him to bleed. his heart aches and sae can hardly stand it; he doesn't know what to do with himself when he thinks about how things had ended with you.

time is meant to heal all wounds, but with every passing day, it seems like his cuts only grow deeper. still, he hopes one day that they'll scab over until all that remains are a few memories with you he cherishes too much to let go. when that day comes, he hopes he can think about you with ease. he hopes he can allow himself to remember you fondly. 

sae scrolls until he sees you calling him ‘love’ and ‘darling’ and slows to a stop to read over the messages for the nth time since you left. they’re all rather mundane, but that’s expected. sae liked it—the normalcy you brought was unlike anything else in his life. staring at these messages, he wonders how he let himself treat you like an obligation instead of someone he loved and wanted to be with. 

you’ve always deserved better than him. it’s unfortunate, then, that itoshi sae is quite selfish. 

-: ✧ :-

he takes himself to a ramen place on the outskirts of the city, where greenery is less sparse and neighbourhoods lay quiet in the distance. it’s a quaint shop, one that isn’t too familiar to sae—he can’t remember the last time he went anywhere outside of the city. it was where you liked to stay, so it’s where he stayed too. 

none of your planned vacations ever worked out thanks to his unpredictable schedule. sae used to tell you that it was out of his control, and he used to ignore the way the sparkle in your eye would dim when he’d let you know he wouldn’t be able to make it. 

it wasn’t right, they way he treated you. he would encourage you to make the trip by yourself but you never did, mumbling that there was always next time. he reminds himself that he never deserved you, never deserved all that you gave him. 

as he drives down this dimly lit road, he thinks about his own hometown. about his childhood home and his bedroom that he hasn’t gone into since he first arrived back from spain. his mother asks him every once in a while to visit and he did go, once. when he left, his mother asked him to bring his partner around next time—she’s heard so much about them to never meet them. 

sae hasn’t told her that the two of you broke-up. he doesn’t know how, he’s never been good at this kind of thing. he keeps his thoughts to himself and he never lets his emotions linger on his face. perhaps if he had learned to be kinder, understood what it might have been like to be you, he might still be with you now.

he thinks about his mother once more as he continues to drive, eyes dragging over to a clay cat figurine left on his dashboard. it’s stuck in place and it was a gift from you after your second date. he remembers your sweet laugh when you found out he still kept it after all these years; you’re sentimental, just like his mother. the two of you would have gotten along, sae realises, with a pang in his chest.

it’s far too late to reminisce about what could have been and what has yet to be. you’ve slipped out of his grasp because he was never holding on tight enough to begin with. not that you’re something to be kept, but you are someone to be held, to be cherished, to be loved. 

the ramen shop is full of bright laughter. dim yellow lighting spills over wooden tables and chairs, he can pick out the sound of chopsticks tapping against the bottom of their respective bowls, glasses clinking together as people toast. it's the kind of place that would lead his entire PR team to lecture him about his public appearances because it’s chock full of patrons—it only takes one person to recognize him before things go haywire. sae doesn't care, he never did, he just needed somewhere new. 

somewhere that isn't the hole-in-the-wall izakaya he likes, sandwiched between a pharmacy and a bike shop. it reminds him of you and how your tolerance is so low, you'd become giggly after about twenty minutes of sipping on your beer. 

you never liked beer, you liked the drinks that tasted more like juice than anything. it was something sae used to pick on you for: nearly twenty-two and yet your palate hasn’t matured past a high-schooler’s. 

he still has a picture of you both from a night out left in his camera roll, too attached to delete it. you're holding the phone too high up, the picture only really shows the top of his head but he doesn't matter that much anyway. it's you that he always looks at. 

you've craned your head up to stare at the camera, eyes shaped into half-moons as your cheeks bunch up from your grin. his hand is resting on your lower back—a precaution in case you end up falling. 

you were happy in that picture, so full of love it was practically spilling from you. he can tell because you were leaning into him, your hand was in his. and he was happy too. he always was whenever you were, sae is simple like that. 

he finds a table in the back and takes a seat, tracing his index finger over the rings in the wooden table. makes his order with his head hung low. he hopes no one recognizes him—the kid at the hardware store was more than enough for today. his sweater is a bit too warm for the shop and he’s starting to sweat but it might just be because he’s not used to being out like this. when was the last time he was surrounded by so many people?

probably the party he rushed out of two weeks ago. he doesn’t feel contrite when he thinks about who he left behind. but he does when your face comes into view just behind his eyes, and it shouldn’t matter because he’s not yours anymore. he’s just pretending to be, like a stupid little kid. 

there’s a chime that comes from the door as someone walks in. he hears remnants of laughter from a joke shared just moments before and decides that it must be a group of people. sae doesn’t look up from the table, eyes straying over to the empty seat across from him. the chill of loneliness settles in his bones quickly and without mercy, yet he still feels hot under his clothes. 

embarrassment. 

here he is, itoshi sae, seated at a table meant for two, utterly miserable. 

his food arrives after some time, a glass of beer along with it. the server smiles at him (smiles at the back of his head because sae refuses to look up) and walks away. sae simply eyes his bowl of ramen with a frown. he thought he might enjoy the chatter, which is why he’s here, but he’s regretting his decision more and more with every second that passes. 

there’s a group of people seated behind him. he catches glimpses of their office attire, blazers and pressed trousers. simple jewellery that catches the light but isn’t too distracting. he figures they’re celebrating, or simply spending a night out after a hard day at work. sae picks at his ramen and thinks about how he’s wasted his day. sae takes a sip of his beer and wonders if you’re out celebrating like these people are. 

you must be happier now, you have to be. you must be with someone who gives you the time of day, holds you in their arms and tells you they love you every night. all things sae took too long to learn how to do because the depths of your love had him terrified. 

you used to look at him like it would pain you to look anywhere else, like he was worthy of being up amongst the stars that dot the sky. he never felt like he deserved your adoration, he thought he had a long way to go before he earned it. 

chairs scrape behind him, someone stands up and makes a toast to the future. in his head, sae toasts with them, wearing a sardonic smile. he hears someone laugh and it sounds so inexplicably like you that, for a moment, he wonders if fate has led him to you like he'd been praying for it to. 

it takes everything in him to not whip around and stare. he digs his fingers into his knee, bunching up the fabric of his jeans. 

he must be going crazy, he decides instead. 

sae doesn’t finish his food, or his beer. he leaves with his hands shoved in his pockets, hands curled into fists as the light sound of your laughter rings in his head. it couldn’t have been you—he hasn’t seen you in months. why would you turn up now out of all times? out of tokyo? it’s unlike you. 

“sae?” someone calls out to him. not someone, it’s you. he recognizes your voice with ease, he could pick you apart from a sea of people in a half-second. your voice is the one he dreams of, the one he years to hear once more. 

sae turns around and it’s you standing in front of him, in office attire like the group that was sitting behind him. you have a large coat on you, the collar popped and hiding some of your chin. the sleeves are far too long for the length of your arms so they bunch up around your elbows as you cross your arms over your chest. 

he must not know you as well as he thought he did, if you’re here instead of being in the city. 

you’re wearing a soft sort of smile, the kind that one might show strangers who pass by them on the street. it’s nothing like the smiles you used to share with him, and only him. you’re looking at him the same way you look at everyone else. 

he watches you wilt and realises that his silence might come across as rejection. he fixes it with an awkward wave, like he’s only just learning to use his hand in tandem with his arm. it makes you huff in amusement and sae latches onto the sound like it’s sacred. 

“what’re you doing…here?” you gesture towards the shop, waving an arm at the door. the sleeve of your coat slides down and hides your hand. 

sae doesn’t have an answer for you, so he just shakes his head. he says the first thing that comes to mind instead. “you look good.” 

you tense, then, eyes flickering to the floor. “um- thank you. you do too.” your voice is so quiet, it’s obvious you’re uncomfortable. sae reminds himself that this is natural—you both broke-up on bad terms. even if you’re here now to say a few words to him, there’s a wedge that has been shoved between you both that keeps you apart. 

and it’s his own doing. 

he watches as you turn back and he knows you’re contemplating ending this conversation. there’s a panicked stutter in his heart as he considers what to do to keep you here a moment longer, just enough so he could memorise your face once more. 

“would you like to take a walk? with me?” he asks rather abruptly. it catches you off guard and you blink a few times in disbelief. sae prays silently like he has never done before.

you take one last lingering look into the ramen shop and sigh. “alright, let’s walk. it’s too loud in there for me anyway.”

“i thought you liked the noise,” he hums, turning on his heel as you fall into place beside him. your arm brushes against his own and heartbeat quickens. you shake your head with a smile that doesn’t meet your eyes. 

“only sometimes. wasn’t feeling it today.”

it’s gets quiet between you rather quickly, nothing to talk about on his side. he figures you don’t want to share what you’ve been up to. irritation builds in the cavity of his chest quickly, but he keeps it down and doesn’t let it show. what right did he have to know?

the silence is grating and he needs to fill it. “your coat is alarmingly big,” he mutters, nodding at the way it’s slipping off your shoulders. you don’t seem to have been expecting this from him, seeing as he manages to draw a laugh out of you. pride swells within him, replacing his precious irritation.

“yeah, well, it’s not mine. haruto lent it to me because he noticed i was cold.”

haruto. who is haruto? 

the irritation is back once more, like flames licking at his lungs and heart. his head feels hot and his cheeks are warm and he’s beyond irritated now. there’s a tight unpleasant feeling that wraps itself around him, squeezing until his breathing turns shallow. sae is jealous. 

and he has no right to be, but he is anyway. 

the night is cool but his hands feel clammy and he’s sweating through his jumper, the hair at his nape sticking to his skin. 

“are you dating him?” he snaps before he can stop himself, staring at you with narrow eyes and a sweltering gaze. you pick up on his spiteful tone and you furrow your brows, picking at your bottom lip with your teeth before you face him.

the frigid stare you give him in response is one that chills him straight to the bone. “what’s it to you? we’re not together, remember?”

he wonders if you know that you’re driving the knife further into the wound, twisting it until it hurts him to even look at you because your eyes only remind him of all the times he messed up with you.

sae doesn’t apologise, he just looks down. from beside him, you scoff and stop walking.

“i see you haven’t changed,” you mutter, picking at your nails. you’ve painted them red and you’re chipping away at the polish. 

you don’t give him a chance to say anything before you’re speaking again, looking up at him with that same cold stare. only this time, he thinks he can see something akin to pity in your gaze. “a simple ‘sorry’ would have sufficed.” 

he gets the impression that you’re referring to a lot more than his little outburst just now. sae can’t stop the waves of guilt from washing over him even if he tried you. he had done a good job ignoring it to the best of his abilities in the two months since you both broke-up, but seeing you in front of you is dredging up weeks of repressed hurt and remorse. he doesn’t know what to do with it all.

“my apology won’t change anything,” he replies, trying to keep his voice even. sae never cries but his voice does crack from time to time. “not now.”

you let out a bitter laugh, the sound makes sae flinch. “and here you are giving up without even trying.”

never knowing how to apologise for all the times he’s hurt you, deciding that he would rather not try at all instead of trying and failing—these were his flaws. you put up with it for the better part of four years before you decided you couldn’t keep things together all by yourself. 

sae had you stretched thin, resolve worn down to just a few strings. at that point in your relationship, one fight was all it took to make the cracks split and break. 

“you stopped trying, and i refuse to do this alone, sae.”

he thinks about you here now, the way that you’re still standing before him instead of turning away the minute he had overstepped. the minute he had acted like he was privileged to anything going on in your life, like he was still allowed to be yours. 

he thinks about the paint in his trunk and the cabbage in the plastic bag in the passenger seat. he thinks about the messages he sent to you, all unread because you blocked him two months ago. 

“i’m- i’m sorry.” the words feel foreign as they settle into the space between you, just a few steps because sae can’t stray too far from you. 

you stay silent and he continues. “i’m sorry i never tried as hard as you did. i’m sorry i never acknowledged all my mistakes until it was too late.” sae looks up at you and how the moonlight highlights all the soft curves of your face—you look breathtaking. 

“i’m sorry that i never loved you the way you deserved.”

you only nod, taking a shaky breath with glossy eyes and it only makes sae nervous. but you don’t cry so he hopes he didn’t hurt you for the nth time in your time together. when you take a few steps forward, sae grows ridgid, his posture utterly perfect. you place a hesitant hand on his cheek and he leans into the touch more than he would have liked, but he suspends his inhibitions for now. 

he’s too delighted to have you back, even for just a few fleeting moments. 

your hand is as soft as it always is, your touch as familiar as it once was. 

“let’s try again, sae,” you whisper and his name sounds sweeter than normal when you say it now. “i think we can do it right this time.”

sae doesn’t think he deserves your softness, how gentle you are with him despite the way he’s been so cruel to you over the years. but here you are giving him the chance to retrace his steps and fix the mistakes he’s made in the past. and he’s more than willing, in fact, it’s all he’s wanted, realises. 

his thumb strokes the apple of your cheek. “i want to try again.”

when you smile, it reminds him of the picture stored away in his phone. your eyes shaped into half-moons, cheeks bunching up. he catches a glint of something gold sitting against your collarbone and doesn’t resist the smile that tugs at his mouth upon figuring out that it’s the locket.

heart-shaped; he wonders if you still have a picture of him inside. 

the two of you walk back to the ramen shop. you tell him about haruto, you’re kind co-worker, and about the cat you’ve adopted a week ago. sae tells you that he’s going to paint the walls of his bedroom pastel blue. 

“call me when you do,” you say, standing in front of his car. “i’ll help you.”

sae merely nods in response, you’re going to unblock him now. he’s only mildly embarrassed about the slew of messages you’ll receive from him. 

he’s never deserved you. but itoshi sae is selfish and this time, he’s determined to do things right.

the way i dont even remember anything i wrote ..... LMFAO anyway THIS TITLE GUYS ITS FROM COLLISION BY SKZ OKAY PLS

Canon

3:05pm — itoshi sae

“sae!”

“sae!!” 

“what?” your boyfriend asks as he enters the bathroom, an indifferent expression on his face as he looks at you that was standing on the bathroom counter. 

“what the hell are you doing there? get down from there.” sae deadpans as you clutch your bath towel tighter. 

“there’s a spider in the corner.” you whispered, as if the arachnid could hear you. 

"what?" your boyfriend asks, unsure if he heard it right the first time.

"i said there's a spider in the corner!" you reiterated, raising the decibel of your voice just a little.

in a split second, you can see the way sae’s teal eyes widen as he slams the door in your face, trapping you in the bathroom with the spider. 

“SAE!” “you’re not getting out until you kill that thing.” you hear his muffled voice from the door. 

“you jerk! i called for you to kill it!” 

“why don’t you do it?!” “aren’t you the man in this relationship?” the door suddenly slams open once more. 

“oh, so now you’re no longer a feminist because of the spider?” sae asked as he glares at you, causing you to glare right back. 

“just kill it!” “no, fuck that.” sae says as he rants once more. 

“i don’t get how gender roles were suddenly brought into this just because you can’t kill a spider!” you blinked at your boyfriend’s words before your eyes flickered towards the corner. 

“you would fight me over the bill, over spoiling you and over paying in general but now that there’s a fucking—” “sae.” “spider in the house you’re suddenly helpless?” “sae…” “i thought you hated the patriarchy? why are you suddenly bringing the movement do—” “SAE.”

your boyfriend blinks at you. “what?” 

“the spider’s gone. i don’t know where it went.” 

sae blinks.

“(y/n), mi amor. pack your fucking bags. let’s go, we're staying somewhere else tonight.” 

“over a spider?!”

“i said, let’s go. ”

note/s: your big bad sae is afraid of spiders idc idc >:( also i was just listening to bo burnham and thought about this so... purely self-indulgent :DD

masterlist

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。NUMBER — SHIDOU RYUSEI.

✩ — contents ⋮ barista! reader, fluff, very annoying yet very sweet boyfriend shidou agenda <3 he’s so romantic in the most vein popping way <3

shidou loves to bother you at work, it must be his favorite pastime, you think—except now it’s starting to get everyone else at work invested too.

“oh. my. gosh,” you coworker whispers, swatting your arm excitedly, “there’s a guy asking for you—says you made his drink last time.”

“i make a lot of guys drinks,” you shrug.

“yeah but not for guys this cute,” she huffs, “i’m jealous. this is your chance, so don’t ruin it! maybe he’s good in bed too,” she wriggles her brows at you, making you scowl as you roll your eyes.

and then you see it—that mop of blonde hair with those pink ends, and you sigh in exasperation as you walk up to the register.

of course, it’s him.

“hello sir, what can i get for you?” you say monotonously.

“hmm,” shidou grins, tapping his chin as if he’s deeply in thought, “i was just thinking i’d get a drink from a pretty little barista. maybe even a number.”

from the distance, you can see your coworkers stop whatever they’re doing to stare—it’s not like it’s every day that someone this attractive comes in to flirt with a fellow employee. you can just about make out the jealousy in some of their faces and amusement in the others. one thing they all have in common, however, is awe—which you’re not too shocked at, shidou’s admittedly a handsome guy….if you look past how obnoxious he can be, that is.

“what drink would you like?”

“any is fine with me as long as i can get your number as an add on,” he grins, and it’s a wicked grin, really. it’s wide and smug and almost makes him look psychotic. you purse your lips as you shake your head, and distantly, you can hear your earlier coworker groan at your lack of enthusiasm for what you’re sure she’ll later go on to describe as the luckiest experience you’ll ever get.

“that’s not an option we carry here,” you squint, “you must be getting our menu confused for another coffee shop. maybe you should look somewhere else.”

“i don’t know,” he smirks, “i don’t think i’d confuse a pretty face like yours so easily.”

if anyone were to tell you, they’d say shidou ryusei is insufferable. you come to learn this is very true with every possible encounter you have with him, including this one. but there’s something a bit endearing about him, something that’s…dare you say, adorable, despite the way his words are sometimes crass and far from proper. and if the way he’s so persistent for your attention is of any proof, you’d say he’s a pretty determined guy—but you like to see how long you can keep him on his toes.

“i’m sure you say that to all the pretty faces you come across,” you say sarcastically, eyeing him as his smile widens and his eyes glint with amusement.

“nope,” he pops the p as he speaks, “you’re the only one. why, you jealous?”

“you wish,” you snort. “and i can’t give you my number, actually,” you say—and this time, it’s you with a smug grin, catching the eyes of your coworkers as they tilt their heads in confusion, “i have a boyfriend. so i’m afraid it’s simply not possible.”

“oh?” shidou drawls with a raise of his brow, “i bet he’s a loser. bet i could take him in a fight easily. if i win against him, you gotta let me move in with you—how ‘bout that?”

“he is a bit of a loser,” you grin, and anyone could make out the fondness seeping into your voice as your eyes soften at the idea of whoever’s got your heart. “but he’s my loser, so i’m afraid the answers still no.”

“sounds like you love him,” he presses, eyeing you expectantly.

“i don’t know about that one,” you giggle, “he’s still got to prove himself a bit more.”

“that’s harsh,” he hums, “maybe if you gave me your number, i’d prove to be better.”

“sorry, no can do—”

“just give him your number, already!” your coworker cuts you off and huffs, stomping her way over to where you stand. shidou’s got a cheshire grin on his face, eyeing her with that same look of amusement that makes you pinch your nose as you sigh. “you and i both know good and well you don’t have a boyfriend so do yourself a favor and just—”

“and how can you be so sure there’s no boyfriend?” shidou raises his brow.

you try, you really do—but you can’t help but finally crack. it’s a small giggle at first, and then it’s a fit of laughter that makes his eyes soften and his lips quirk into a lopsided beam that’s nothing short of lovesick.

“if you do seem to think there’s a boyfriend in the equation, why pursue someone then?” you coworker raises a brow, arms crossed as she challenges him, “that makes you a jackass, don’t you think?”

“easy,” shidou cackles, leaning in and pressing one, two, three soft pecks to your lips, making everyone gasp as you roll your eyes affectionately, “i’m the boyfriend. sometimes i like to keep the romance alive and fight myself every once in a while.”

“wha—” she’s left speechless, staring at him as she tries to comprehend what he’s just said with her mouth hung. shidou only mocks her opened mouth, and you reach over and swat his shoulder, making him snicker.

“that’s enough, ryu,” you warn—though you don’t sound all that serious. “i’ll be off in ten. are you gonna order anything or just stand there?”

“aw, c’mon baby. ‘course i am,” he pulls out his card, handing it to you, “i’ll take your favorite. you keep it though,” he winks.

“god you’re so annoying,” you mumble, but still, you don’t pull away when he leans for another peck on the lips, even as your coworkers chant a chorus of get a room from the back.

“see you in ten, baby,” he calls over his shoulder, walking off to find himself a seat as he waits for you.

yeah, you think, your coworkers are really going to be invested in this one.

he’s like…so very sweet and in love but in a very annoying and odd way. like he’d vandalize a building to spray paint your initials together in a heart or something

he's such a cutie

so wholesome and funny to me that a key part of shidou's character is literally just: "real recognises real." with no holding back

tee you know what would he so funny and i keep thinking about? is if you were seen with one of the blue lock men’s friends or teammates, and then there’s a picture on the news like “y/n cheating on ___?” 💀 idk i just giggle into my hand at the idea

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。BLUE LOCK + RUMORS THAT YOU’RE DATING SOMEBODY ELSE

✩ — characters ⋮ itoshi sae, mikage reo, shidou ryusei ✩ — contents ⋮ fluff, gn! reader, established relationships, rather pouty and salty boys <3 ✩ — notes ⋮ nauurr this is actually so cute so i decided to turn them into kind of short drabbles w a few boys <3

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。ITOSHI SAE.

sae stares at his screen and blinks. you fight back a grin as he rereads the title, trying not to let out a small giggle.

“itoshi sae bested by little brother in love,” he reads blankly, and you almost think he doesn’t care if not for the way his hand clutches his phone a little tighter.

“sae, it’s not our fault, okay?” you chuckle, shuffling closer on the bed, wrapping yourself around him, “the paparazzi just caught us off guard. you know how they twist things for the headlines.” he does know—but still, he eyes you from the side before scrolling along the article and staring at more pictures of you and rin walking out of the convenience store.

“you went with rin? really?” he grumbles, eyeing a picture of you both laughing as you walk out the store. why is it so easy for rin to laugh at your jokes? more importantly, why is it so easy for you to laugh at his?

“well technically you were supposed to go with me, but you were being grumpy,” you huff, looking at him with raised brows.

it’s rare for both the brothers to be at their old childhood home at the same time, they never really get vacations that overlap enough to visit their parents together—and it’s never really been a priority for either of them with such an…estranged relationship. but this year’s a rare stroke of luck, and sae’s mother insists he brings you along with him for the ‘full family effect.’

except he rarely leaves the room if not to go for his jog or the gym—and you’re tired of being cooped up indoors all day. so when he opts for staying in to rewatch a match when you practically beg him to go to the convenience store around the corner with you, and rin so graciously offers to walk with you to grab a few things himself—how could you decline?

“i wasn’t being grumpy,” he says bitterly, “i was busy. it’s different.”

“well, me and rin had a blast,” you tease, pointing at the pictures on his phone, “as you can see.”

“shut up,” he scowls, locking his phone and crossing his arms. it’s cute to see him like this—slightly jealous and petulant as he tries to shrug it off like he doesn’t care. you giggle, leaning to peck his cheek.

“so? how does it feel to have your brother steal the love of your life?”

“i don’t know,” he rolls his eyes, “seems to me like you came crawling right back to me in the end.”

“not taking it well, huh,” you say amused—and finally, he wraps a loose arm around your figure as you sprawl yourself on his chest, leaning up to kiss his jaw. “you know how you can win me back over? taking me to the store next time i ask.”

“oh trust me,” he says with a sour look on his face, making you snort as you poke his nose, “you’re not walking past that door without me next time.”

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。MIKAGE REO.

reo is distraught.

“look at these comments,” he cries, shoving his phone in your face.

“reo,” you try to fight back a giggle, reaching over to ruffle his hair affectionately as you try to soothe his crisis, “it’ll blow over, don’t worry. me and nagi were just getting snacks.”

“yeah but they’re completely trashing me,” he whines, eyes all but popping out of his sockets as he reads the comments on the twitter post, “‘you know you’re lame when even your money isn’t enough to keep someone?’ what does that even mean?”

“it means you’re losing your charm,” you tease, cackling when he throws you a soft glare from his spot on the couch. he’s scooches away from you, sitting on the opposite end as he holds up a hand.

“you stay on your half,” he huffs, “i don’t want to sit with a cheater.”

“i didn’t cheat!” you snort, “we went to get snacks for you too—”

“yeah and you forgot them,” he glares.

“i said sorry!”

“well, it doesn’t help,” he pouts as he turns back to his phone, glaring at his screen as he reads the way some of the comments are now claiming you and nagi are a cute couple. it makes his brows furrow as a vein all but pops in his forehead, making you bite your lip so as not to laugh and hurt your boyfriend’s already painfully bruised ego.

“baby, you know you’re the only guy for me,” you grin, shuffling over to his side of the couch, giggling as you cling to him while he tries to (gently) shove you off.

“i don’t know,” he grumbles, “clearly i’m not since you haven’t even defended me in these comments.”

“i’ll make sure to tell them your money still has all the appeal,” you grin, earning a sharp look from him as you throw your head back and laugh. “i’m kidding.”

“you’re not,” he mumbles, crossing his arms. he looks cute like this—makes your heart soar as you lean closer and cup his cheeks and press soft kisses along his face. and even as he tries to fight it, he can’t help but smile a little and lean into your touch.

“i’ll make sure to defend your honor in the comments,” you murmur, biting his cheek playfully. he turns, leans in for a peck to the lips as he sighs.

“you better,” he mutters, “these people are ruthless.”

✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。SHIDOU RYUSEI.

shidou is a nightmare if you’ve ever met one—makes your life increasingly difficult because how dare someone write an article that hints that what’s his could be anyone else’s?

“what do you want for dinner?” you ask, sighing as he shrugs.

“oh, i don’t know,” he grins condescendingly, “why don’t you let your other boyfriend decide?”

“ryusei—”

“if i see him, he’s gonna be one with the concrete, i’ll tell you that.”

“don’t even think about getting into trouble. that’s your teammate,” you pinch your nose, trying to be the one and only voice of reason there evidently is, “we just saw each other at the store and said hi—”

“why did he need to say hi?” he growls, crossing his arms as he stares at his screen again, eyeing the title of the article that’s single handedly spoiled your afternoon with a moody boyfriend in your hands. “i should teach him a lesson—”

“you should do no such thing—”

“you know what? i don’t even care,” he says suddenly, and there’s too much of a wicked grin on his face for you to feel at ease about his sudden turn of mood.

“ryusei.” your voice comes out as a warning, but he pays it mind.

“yeah, babe?” he says sweetly, scrolling through his phone and making your stomach churn as you walk over.

“what are you—” and then there’s a buzz of your phone, cutting you off as you hesitantly glance at it in your hand, noticing the mention you have from him. “what did you do?” you narrow your eyes.

“nothing,” he shrugs, “just cleared the air.”

and if you were unsettled before, you’re certainly concerned now because shidou ryusei taking matters into his own hands can only mean a headache for you and serious damage control for his team. you groan, rubbing your temple as you prepare yourself for the worst case scenario.

“what could you possibly—are you kidding me, ryusei? are you out of your mind?” you stare at the picture he’s posted, one of him practically sucking your face off in the middle of god knows where—when did he even get this picture? and who took it? but as quickly as the questions pop into your head, you decide just as fast that you don’t even want to know.

“that’ll teach ‘em,” he grins darkly, and he has the audacity to look proud of himself, earning himself a harsh glare from you. he only snickers, grabs you by the wrist and tugs you onto his lap on the couch. “wanna recreate the picture?” he grins widely.

“no i want to delete the picture,” you grumble.

“not an option,” he says smugly, and then his lips are on yours—and even if he’s shaved ten years off your life, you think it’s at least a good thing that he’s back to his usual self.

i want to have a lil salty sae in my bed immediately.

─ ✰ LOVER’S CURRENCY!

✧˚ · . ITOSHI SAE’S sneaky way he shows he cares!

— warnings: fluff, crackfic, whipped sae, maybe ooc?

— author’s note: guys this is my first bllk work please spare me, comments and tags are very much appreciated!

“itoshi sae.”

you cross your arms with a pout, hovering over him intimidatingly as he peels one eye open, lazily draped over the couch.

“hm?” he cocks his head slightly, a ghost of a smirk tracing over his lips. sighing in exasperation, you attempt to reassert your point by rather agressively squishing his cheek with your finger.

“you did it again.”

“did what?”

it’s infuriating. he’s feigning ignorance, choosing to act clueless when you know he knows exactly what you’re talking about.

the edges of his lips are the slightest bit upturned, a faint twinkle of mischief in his eyes, subtle details easily missed by the casual onlooker. but with you, he’s an exposed canvas, an open diary— you can read him like a book.

“don’t play dumb, sae, it’s not funny!” you whine, digging in your purse pocket, and grabbing your wallet to pull out a shiny, black credit card— his. you hand him the card, wordlessly demanding him to take it back. but of course, itoshi sae wouldn’t be itoshi sae without the theatrics— eyeing the card smugly as he gives it a once-over.

“that doesn’t look like mine.” you roll your eyes, done with his shenanigans as you huff in mild annoyance. seriously, he acts like such a child sometimes.

“how many times have i told you i can pay for things myself? and i want my card back too.”

this time, he’s the one to pout.

“don’t wanna.”

you’re about to retort something back when he pulls you closer by your waist, earning a yelp from you as you crash on top of him, letting out a small ‘oof’, his long limbs trapping you in place.

“what the— sae!” you grumble, and although it’s half-assed, you choose to squirm in his arms, still rather annoyed at his (endearing) habit of deceiving you into spending his money. still, he snuggles into you, letting out a small sigh of discontent as you keep wriggling around.

“would you stop that?” he scowls slightly, although he’s not really mad. “‘m trying to get comfortable.”

begrudgingly, you surrender to the warmth of his embrace, relenting to the pull of his affectionate cuddles, but not without flicking his forehead childishly first. he huffs brattily, but all complaints disappear as he feels your arms slinking around his neck, nuzzling into his chest.

“i hope you know i’m e-transferring you your money back.” you mumble under your breath as he delicately traces shapes on your skin. he abruptly stops, prompting you to look up at him in confusion.

you don’t expect him to suddenly jab at your sides sides, playfully assaulting your stomach as he continues his onslaught, generating a shriek of giggles and pleas to stop from you. you kick and squeal, but his grip is like iron, targeting all your ticklish spots.

“s-sae, please, i didn’t mean, i-it, i swear—”

you manage to gasp out, completely pooped out from laughing so hard, and after five, long, painful minutes, he finally relents, allowing you to catch your breath as you glare at him, face flushed, panting heavily as you attempt recover from his utterly ruthless attack.

“i swear, if you weren’t so pretty-” you start, but you’re cut off by a rare laugh. small, yet entrancing all the same. his eyes crinkle, letting out a tiny chuckle as he gazes at you with pure adoration in his crystalline teal eyes. your heart races in response, the sheer sweetness of the moment causes you to liquify into a puddle.

…you suppose it wouldn’t be the end of the world if you let him get away with it just this once.

©kaeffeinee 2023. do not copy, repost, or translate any of my works on any platform.

BLUE LOCK PLAYERS AS DEMIGODS (i) — [BLUE LOCK]

characters: shidou ryusei, oliver aiku, itoshi sae content: gn! reader (reader is called “sunshine” once in shidou’s) slightly suggestive humor, set at camp half-blood (or some random camp for demigods lol) but you don’t need to have read percy jackson to read this notes: references this post

⋆｡° child of ares! shidou x child of apollo! you

it’s unsurprising to all of your siblings that shidou ryusei is in and out of the infirmary a lot because he gets into A LOT of fights (“typical ares kid” your siblings say while rolling their eyes)

the first time he came to the infirmary, you were the only one brave enough to patch him up given that, not only is shidou known for picking random fights but also for being kind of batshit crazy. after that, you were the only one he even let touch him without lowkey growling at them…

“shidou’s here again,” otoya, one of your half-brothers, informed you one day. you sighed heavily and found shidou in the waiting room, beckoning him back to an exam room

“take your shirt off,” you told him and he grinned some wild smile at you and said, “ooh, already trying to get me naked? at least take me to dinner, sunshine”

you snorted and when he did, your eyes widened at the giant, purpling bruise forming on his side. “what happened this time? “underlashes junior got really into sparring”

ah, that made sense - this wasn’t the first time shidou got into a physical altercation with itoshi rin 

“leave the kid alone,” you said as you grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and threw it at him

he caught it and asked, “not gonna hold it against me yourself?” “why would i do that” “well you were so eager to get my shirt off” “you’re insufferable”

shidou licked his teeth, still looking at you with that shit-eating grin. “yeah but you like that”

what was the most annoying this about that statement: you couldn’t exactly say it’s a total lie

⋆｡° child of poseidon! oliver aiku x child of athena! you

oliver aiku had a bit of a reputation as a womanizer and, to be fair, it’s not undeserved. he was charming and hot, it’s not like it’s just random, and he probably flirted with nearly every person within a ten mile radius of camp

he first noticed you at a game of capture the flag. not to brag or anything, but oliver was known as the best defender at camp but somehow, the opposing team managed to outmaneuver him and his team and steal the flag and carry it to their side

shocked and impressed, oliver inquired as to who was the mastermind behind this strategy and the answer was simple: you, a child of athena 

he found you in the armory, hanging your sword back up and, leaning against the doorway, he said, “hey”

you glanced over your shoulder. “hey?” 

“so you’re the master strategist?” “yeah” “i don’t think we’ve met, im oliver.” “yeah i know” and with that, you resumed taking off the rest of your armor

well, that was new

“you know,” oliver said, strolling over to stand beside you as he took off his own armor, “i’d love to get to know you better. not every day someone manages to pull one over on me. wanna grab some lunch”

you gave him a side eye and said, “sorry, i’ve got something else to do” and then you brushed past him and out of the armory

oliver watched your retreating form and it was from that day on that he decided his just had to make you his 

(spoiler: he eventually succeeds after many, many, many times asking you out (read: groveling, begging on his knees, etc.))

⋆｡° child of zeus! itoshi sae x child of hermes! you

you get sent on a quest with itoshi sae and you were forewarned by multiple different people that you should brace yourself for a quick but absolutely miserable experience

“sae’s super powerful but gods, his attitude is absolute shit”

honestly, all the things people told you should have worried you more but you ignored them. it wasn’t fair to listen to hearsay about someone in your opinion and besides, it just made you want to step up to the challenge and befriend him even more

as the two of you set off, you asked him a bajillion questions about him, his life outside of camp, his life at camp, his brother rin (which earned you the most acidic glare and the meanest answer ever), and whatever else you could think of

“do you ever stop talking?”

“not really” sae gave you another withering look

you ran into tons of monsters and it was honestly incredible to witness the full power of a child of a big three god - sae’s battle prowess coupled with his control over lightning had you feeling just a little unnecessary but you also assisted well (sae wouldn’t admit it but he was pretty surprised by your quick thinking and reflexes and your skill with your weapon)

finding that you weren’t completely useless was when sae began not being so short with you and actually made some effort at conversation and you two lowkey started bonding over the next few days

one might even say sae began to develop some semblance of fondness 

you had a major breakthrough with him when you essentially sacrificed yourself and threw yourself in front of whatever mythical beast you were sent to defeat

sae never disposed of an enemy quicker than he had in that moment and he got you two back to camp even faster

you’re passed out for three days in the infirmary and when you woke up, sae’s asleep in the chair besides your bed

“oh good, you’re awake!” one of the apollo kids who works at the infirmary entered the room. “how are you feeling?”

“a little sore” you glanced over at sae and the apollo kid said, “not sure how you managed it but sae’s refused to leave the infirmary since he brought you back. must make you pretty special.”

waiting for you to be waiting below

tags: fluff, established relationship

a/n: hi guys long time no see hahaha turns out I only write well once school is in session !! for my two requests that have been waiting for like six months I'm so sorry

“you’re being stupid,” you say for the millionth time that evening. . “i’ve shown you how to do it like, thirteen times.”

shidou ryusei frowns at you, four strands of colored thread hanging limply from his fingers. “maybe you’re just not a very good teacher.”

and you can feel your eye start to twitch. honestly, it was your own fault at this point. why did you ever think that your loud, very easily distracted, and impulsive boyfriend could ever sit still long enough to make a bracelet?

“fine,” you snap out, reaching over the pile of discarded scraps of string and beads to take the thread away from shidou. “you don’t have to do it, then.” 

his grip instantly tightens, and the two of you are caught in an awkward and silent tug of war.  you’re well aware that he could win at any point, what with his athlete strength and experience in fighting.

 it doesn’t stop you from pulling harder. and shidou has the audacity and not enough shame that he starts grinning, revealing white teeth. 

and then he lets go. you jolt backwards at the sudden lack of resistance, ass landing onto your carpeted floor. shidou cackles, head bobbing like a maniac.

you feel your cheeks heat with embarrassment, and then you’re jumping up to your feet. “fine. fuck you too!”

he doesn’t stop laughing, hot pink irises following your every movement anyway. once your hand reaches the doorknob, his laughter immediately ceases.

“come on, y/n,” he lengthens out the last syllable of your name, amusement apparent in every inch of his face. “don’t leave now! i was just about to get better.”

on another day, you likely would have listened. but today, you’re not feeling it. “go out the front door when you feel like it. or jump out the window again, i don’t really care.” 

the door closes fast, but not fast enough for you to miss shidou’s lips shifting into a frown. 

you take the stairs down to your living room two at a time, hand gripping onto the banister with just a little too much strength at times. 

you’re in front of the tv within five minutes, some shitty reality show acting as a slightly worthwhile distraction for the time being. you can hear your boyfriend thumping around above your head, and a slight pang of worry reaches your stomach. 

but hey, you did tell him to leave. shidou’s not your issue for the rest of today. maybe you’ll apologize tomorrow, once that twitch in your eye goes away for good. maybe you won’t. 

the show flashes to an all too familiar advertisement. blue lock tv is popular enough without the need for a constant stream of ads, but it hasn’t stopped their network from flooding every channel possible with them.

 you can vaguely recognize a few faces from their occasional match with shidou, but you don’t think you could put a name to their face if your life was reliant on it. maybe you should be more interested in the show at this point.

and then your boyfriend’s on the screen, bright yellow and hot pink meshing together in a constant flux of motion as the ball dances to his feet. 

it never gets old, watching him play.

there’s something captivating about it, the way everyone else on the field seems to pale in comparison to shidou ryusei. he commands the attention of the field, forces people to look at him until the crowds cheer his name.

despite yourself, you feel yourself smile.

“man, i looked good here!” 

it’s impressive how you don’t flinch at shidou’s sudden presence. maybe you’ve gotten used to him. 

“i thought you left,” you mutter. 

“and leave you to mope alone?” he leaps over the back of the couch in one easy motion, landing right besides you. “here.”

you turn your head and immediately do a double take. there, nestled in shidou’s large and calloused hand, lays a slightly pitiful bracelet, threads of bright color twined around each other.

“oh.” you say stupidly. you pick it up carefully. 

“it was not easy to tie those knots, you know that?” shidou grins, canines flashing. “stupid little things kept coming undone-”

you tackle him in a hug, arms wrapping around his neck. he jolts in surprise, his own arms reaching around you immediately.

“thank you,” you murmur into the back of his head. “i’m sorry for earlier.”

he laughs, warm breath ghosting by the side of your head. “not the first time i deserved to get yelled at.”

“i’ll wear it forever.”

shidou goes uncharacteristically quiet, if only for a moment.

“your show’s back on.”

sae is bad with timezones.

whenever he goes on a trip because of football he always forgets he’s not in your timezone.

it’s why you’ve woken up in the middle of the night to your phone ringing right next to your pillow, his name lighting up the screen.

“hey.” his voice is almost enough to make you smile. (almost. you’re still too sleepy.)

you stifle a yawn, “hi.”

“hi.” you can practically feel his smile.

a sleepy huff of laughter slips past your lips, “you already said that.”

“i know,” he sounds a little breathless, you note, “i just like greeting you.”

a smile blooms on your lips when he says that, your heart skipping a beat. you hide your face in your pillow, shying away as if he could see you.

you turn your attention to your phone when you faintly hear him plop down on his bed with a groan.

“you would not believe the morning i had,” he huffs.

“was it bad?” you bite back a yawn, stretching out on the bed.

you frown when he lets out a deep sigh, “it was worse than i would’ve liked.”

“i couldn’t get coffee because there was this huge line at this café i like, so i barely had any energy to do anything,” a fond smile tugs at your lips when you picture the pout on his lips.

your brows knit in confusion. “i thought your manager got your coffee?”

a dry laugh leaves sae’s lips, “here’s where my morning gets worse. he was busy because i had an interview.”

your face scrunches up, a soft laugh leaving your lips. “yikes.”

“yikes.” sae echoes back, laughing. “i think you can imagine how that went.”

“yeah,” you sleepily laugh, “i feel bad for the poor people who had to interview you.”

“hey!” a drowsy smile tugs at your lips when you hear the mock offense in his voice.

you yawn, “so your interview just ended?”

he hums, “i came back to the hotel as soon as i could.”

“really?” your eyes start to droop.

“yeah,” you can hear his smile, “i wanted to hear your voice.”

your face flushes. you reach out to grab sae’s pillow and hold it close to your chest, hiding your face in it.

“shut up,” you mutter. your eyes flutter closed, a yawn slips past your lips.

he laughs, “how was your morning?”

sae frowns when you don’t reply.

your eyes snap open when he calls out your name. “yeah?”

there’s a pause. you frown in sleepy confusion, “sae?”

“i woke you up again, didn’t i?” his voice comes out soft, almost as if he feels guilty for having woken you up again.

(again, because he’s not used to not being in your timezone. again, because the fact that you’re miles away and not a train ride away always slips his mind.)

you sheepishly laugh, “you did.”

your heart swells with fondness when you picture his face flushing in embarrassment.

“sorry,” he awkwardly coughs.

“it’s fine.” you whisper, a teasing smile lifting the corners of your lips, “i wanted to hear your voice, too.”

you bury your face into sae’s pillow, laughing when sae mutters a soft and very bashful, ‘shut up.’

a yawn slips past your lips and you nuzzle into sae’s pillow, a small smile on your face when you note his lingering scent.

“you should go to sleep.”

you let out a confused hum, tilting your head to the side.

a huff of amused laughter leaves sae’s lips, “you should go back to sleep.”

“i don’t wanna leave you alone, though.” you pout.

“and i don’t wanna keep you up any longer,” he hums.

you frown, yawning. “i can stay up a little longer.”

“i’d rather you didn’t,” he sounds reluctant. like he doesn’t want you to leave. (you really wish he was next to you right now.)

“i miss you.” your voice is laced with longing, sae’s pillow scrunched up against your frame as you clutch it tighter to you in a poor attempt to pretend it’s actually sae.

“i miss you too.” sae’s voice is barely above a whisper. you wonder if he’s also holding on to a pillow, pretending it’s you.

“i wish you’d come home now.” you mumble, eyes drooping as sleep tightens its grip around you.

you can feel sae’s smile through the phone, “me too.”

there’s a small pause before sae speaks again. “seriously, though, go sleep.”

you frown, “are you kicking me out already?”

“i don’t want to,” he laughs, “but i’d hate for you to not get enough sleep because of me.”

“you’ll miss me, though,” you pout. (he doesn’t say it, but you’re right. he will miss you. even if he knows you’ll call him as soon as you wake up.)

“go sleep,” he insists, “i’ll be here when you wake up.”

you try to stifle yawn, “can you stay until i fall asleep?”

your eyes flutter closed, a content smile on your lips when you hear him hum.

“i can even stay until you wake up again.” he teases.

“would you really?” your voice is laced with sleep.

you don’t see it, but there’s a big grin on sae’s face. “yeah.”

so he does.

(and he doesn’t mention it, but he’ll stay with you for as long as you let him.)

THIS IS SO CUTE STOP

─── 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 7.1k | content: fluff, making out, college!au, mentions of insecurity, only very brief angst !!, alcohol, slight jealousy

notes: this was supposed to be lengthier and in smau format but i suck at that so here it is in fic format :’) i know i know, i write sae way too much </3

summary: you have a crush on sae. for a long time now. and he’s always known that. he just wants to see how long you can hold out.

HIGH SCHOOL: 2ND YEAR

itoshi sae knows you like him.

you’re really obvious it’s pathetic, really. once during recess, he’d wanted to go back to the classroom to get some shut eye because soccer was way too draining lately, and guess who he saw slipping a little love note into his locker?

of course you. you and your little pink heart-shaped post-it that read i think you’re cute and i really really like you. because it was valentines and you were one of the many to send him little scribbles of confessions.

even now, when you sit just a couple of rows in front of him, he catches you looking behind at him, and sae purposely doesn’t look at you, doesn’t let you know he knows you’re staring. he’s not really sure why. maybe he feels bad if he exposes you or something.

throughout the rest of your sophomore year in high school, he continues to observe as you so subtly (not really) try to be friends with him. you always try to get picked to be in the same group as him for projects (which never works out), you try to sit next to him in lecture halls (but his friends cockblock you always), and during phys ed classes you try so hard with soccer but you’re really quite bad at it.

maybe it’s sae not being able to continue observing your failures that he throws you a bone.

“you need to bend your knees a little more.”

frozen stiff from the unexpected company, you awkwardly try to bend your knees further, all while staring at the ground. if sae was nice, he’d laugh and joke around with you, asking why you seemed so scared of him. but he’s not, so he only sighs and stands beside you while you try.

after a few more seconds, sae understands you don’t really understand so he moves to push down on your thigh, and by then you really freeze up, falling flat on your ass in front of him.

sae wants to laugh now, really, because it’s amusing how nervous you are. for no good reason too.

the next time sae talks to you, it’s during lunch time when he queues up behind you. on purpose. he doesn’t even usually eat from this stall, but seeing you there makes him want to mess with you a little. he purposely stands a little too close, makes himself prone to an accidental bump.

which does happen. because you’re just like that.

“oh, sor—” you stop midway as if realising it’s sae immediately dissolves you of any obliged apologies. “sorry,” you force out before whipping your attention back in front. the both of you don’t talk in that moment and sae can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

but sae continues to help you during phys ed classes, and you still try to get assigned to be his group mate. nothing groundbreaking happens during sophomore year of high school because nothing is born out of it.

nothing, except maybe a tiny bit of sae’s inexplicable emotions for you.

HIGH SCHOOL: SENIOR YEAR

sae thinks maybe you went to a shrine over the holidays. how else would he explain you finally getting partnered with him on a project? and to top it off, it’s a two-person team for the entire year.

you get him all to yourself.

the moment the teacher calls your name after his, it’s like sae can practically see your tail wagging. you manage to compose yourself when you catch him staring at you though.

it’s a little cute, if he’s being honest.

“so, what do you think our project should be about?” your voice wavers a little when you speak to him. is he that intimidating?

sae wonders what if he tries to be a dick during this project. would you be obedient or would you actually bite back?

he tries to find out.

sae shrugs and acts disinterested, staring out the window of the second floor of the library where you’d both agreed to meet to work on it together. “don’t know, don’t care, think you could handle it for us? i’ve got too many soccer trainings, too tired.”

for a split second, you’re taken aback—he sees you sitting upright a little more, blinking twice at him because surely that’s not what you imagined your crush to behave like. not when he has straight As and is almost the top of your cohort.

and for a while, sae thinks you might actually be the former; obediently listening to him, making sure he’s happy. but then you furrow your brows and clench your fists and go “itoshi sae, who do you think you are” and oh, oh, you’re not the former, you’re the latter and you’d actually kill him if he was a dick. fuck.

somehow his hands instinctively come up in surrender and his mouth opens, “i was just kidding.”

it’s almost comical how your expression softens up immediately and you laugh, and sae keeps staring at you because you actually have a really nice smile. he never really noticed it before. and when the two of you actually get started on the project, sae finds himself observing you more than actually contributing.

yeah, you’re really quite pretty.

“any plans for the summer?”

it’s now almost july and summer break is around the corner, and to be honest sae’s kind of bummed about it. it’s beyond him why not seeing you would make him disappointed, but he’s not going to try and pursue the reason. he has his training camps to worry about.

“soccer. you?”

“mmm, a short trip with my parents.”

usually sae would leave it at that, but he asks about you, and he sees that tail wagging again. “where?”

“just gonna go to hokkaido,” you tell him. and you look like you’re anticipating him to ask more, but sae’s stuck. he doesn’t really know what to ask. he’s not exactly curious as to what you’d be doing there.

so you take matters into your own hand when you swiftly grab his phone from the table, key in your number and call yourself from his phone before putting it right back. sae watches you the whole time, wondering when exactly you’d gotten this bold.

“there, now you can’t escape me even over summer break.”

and he doesn’t. because you text him about your trip when you’re there, you send him pictures of the scenery and of the food you’re eating and you’re really inconsiderate because you send him that shit when he’s stuck in soccer bootcamp with twenty-four sweaty guys who’s none the better than him.

sae can end it by all means, just by not responding to you, but for the first time, talking to someone isn’t really a pain, and he thinks you’re kind of funny and the stickers you send are kind of cute so he’ll let this continue. even if by continue he means sending mediocre, lacklustre responses that just barely manages to keep the conversation going.

(in sae’s mind at eighteen, sending replies like okay and i see are considered acceptable and subjectively considered effort.)

when summer break finally ends and it’s early september, sae finally sees you again while he walks to school. he walks a little faster just to catch up to you before he adjusts his pace, acts like it’s coincidence that he’s right beside you.

and somehow he’s made it a routine; to memorise what bus you get off of and catch you on the way to school. even if he sees you in classes and even after classes in the library.

you’re acting a little less like he’s on a podium and more like normal friends and he kind of likes that. he likes being able to see you unfiltered when you gossip, likes seeing you laugh at stupid lame jokes, likes the way you hang close to him whenever you’re beside him.

okay maybe like is a little stretching it, he doesn’t mind being able to tolerate it. or maybe he’s just in denial, whatever.

winter comes and it’s somehow the time when more girls try to talk to him, mainly because somehow the school decides to hold a winter event this year; it’s going to be held near the edge of the city, where the biggest skating rink is.

by his guess, most girls are looking for a guy to have a skating date with.

in the library during your usual meetup for the school project, sae gets more than a couple visitors trying to get him for that same reason. you eye everyone that approaches the table, and sae can’t help but notice how he actually likes when you’re pouty. maybe it’s his twisted thinking that jealousy means you’re still into him.

“itoshi-kun, i was thinking whether you wanted to go to the winter event together?” another girl from your class, mizuno, asks him, and sae is tired of it, frankly. but he doesn’t show it. he only looks at you, and you look back at him because he doesn’t usually stare for this long.

then, he looks at mizuno and rejects her.

“sorry, can’t, i’m going with y/n.”

(you get home that day being completely flustered and completely happy.)

on the day of the event, sae keeps his word. he goes with you, sticks beside you the entire time. his friends snap pictures of the two of you and you always look so embarrassed. maybe you’re just not used to all of this attention. but that’s fine, it’s cute.

one thing he learns about you is that you can be real clumsy sometimes. like now, when you get so excited over your watermelon slushie that you somehow spill it all over your jacket and clothes.

sae ends up giving you his puffy winter jacket while he braves the cold with whatever he has left. that’s fine, he’s strong. besides, getting to watch you wear his jacket the entire time feels like a bonus somehow.

he thinks by now you should confess already, but you don’t. you’re happy to stay in this bubble with him right now, whichever phase the two of you are at. so is he. it feels kind of nice.

feels especially nice when you hang onto him for dear life in the skating rink even though neither of you are moving. sae’s aware that people are staring holes into both of you but it’s strange how much he doesn’t mind when it’s with you. that’s why he holds his hands out, lets you take them, makes himself pull you along. he finds himself wishing neither of you were wearing gloves so he could feel how soft your hands are.

by the end of the day, everyone takes it that the both of you are together, even though the both of you are too avoidant to talk about it.

“hey, sae? thanks for today,” you say later that night when everything is done and you’d had the giddiest experience with sae. he’s walking you home and he doesn’t even know why; it’s a mystery to him why he keeps himself close whenever he can.

“it’s fine, i was the one who told people i was going with you, so.”

when he gets you to your front porch, you don’t go in immediately, standing right there with your back facing him, and sae wonders what’s going through your head. if only he could see the expression on your face right now, maybe he’d know.

you let him; because you turn around, giving him a big smile before you take a step forward and press a chaste kiss on his cheek, immediately turning on your heel and running into your house.

neither of you say bye, both of you are just a little too stunned to speak. sae stands out there in the cold for a little while longer, his face and ears red—he’s not even sure whether it’s from the weather or from you—but even when he starts to leave, you’re still slumped at your front door, covering your face in embarrassment, knees too weak to stand up.

there’s only one more quarter left until you graduate and sae and you both act like nothing happened that day. you still gossip unfiltered and he still listens but acts like he doesn’t.

except now instead of sitting across from you, he opts to sit directly beside you. sometimes sits a little too close just so your arms will brush against each other. sae also lets you keep his puffy jacket because you said you liked it.

you wear it throughout winter.

when graduation comes around and it’s time for sae to choose his university, he can’t help but take a peek at your screen. a smile comes to his face when he sees your first choice is the same as his. you’re smart too, he doesn’t doubt you’ll get in.

“itoshi sae, you can smile?”

sae immediately turns it into a frown. “guess not.”

you take your words back. “hey, i’m just kidding! it’s just rare… that’s all.”

so you notice him a lot then?

sure, you might not have seen him smile a lot. but that’s fine. from what sae knows, you have the entirety of your university years to possibly catch it.

UNIVERSITY: FRESHMAN YEAR

of course you enter the same university as itoshi sae. it’s not on purpose, but you’re glad you both made it here anyway.

at least knowing one friendly face is better than none.

to be honest, you’re not really sure where you and sae stand. he’s never said anything about that kiss, but he also doesn’t stay away from you. can you take that as a positive thing?

if anything, he’s even closer.

somehow, his dorms and yours are practically next door. when you open your bathroom window, you can look right into his. it happened once, by accident, and you’d caught him, shirtless with just a white towel hanging around his neck, hair damp as he brushes his teeth, the droplets of water on his abs looking very inviting.

but then he caught you staring and you’ve shut your bathroom window ever since. thankfully, he never mentions it.

being in university and staying in campus meant that you were both hanging out much more informally. and you’d think that two people at the age of nineteen who’d known each other for three years would be less awkward than this but it’s you and sae and somehow there’s always an element of awkwardness.

it’s halfway into your freshman year and you’d just watched the first match that sae’s playing for the university team. you’re a little starstruck, honestly. to think that the guy you’ve always had a crush on is this good at soccer.

he’s amazing. you’re feeling like a potato sack.

“hey, you know him right?” hime gushes.

your friends are with you, so it’s natural they ask.

mira on your left sighs, “guess we have no shot with him since he’s with y/n all the time,” she says, nudging you in the elbow.

you’re starting to regret bringing them here with all the teasing. you’re also regretting coming here yourself because you see several girls running to him asking for a picture together. some of which you recognise, some of which are the popular girls.

sae doesn’t stop them from snapping what they can, but he also doesn’t stop for them at all. instead, he saunters over to you, hime and mira wordlessly disappearing to the side.

“gimme that,” sae says, gesturing to the phone in your hand. you obey, of course, and he smirks, then he snaps a selfie with you before tossing your phone back and walking off.

the pairs of eyes on you make you half-embarrassed yet half-proud. even with this many fangirls, sae chooses to come to you.

that night sae asks you to send him the picture.

yeah, maybe you can take that as a positive thing.

freshman year after that is generally uneventful. you and sae are both trying to find your footing, with him preoccupied mostly with soccer trainings while you’re drowning in assignments and projects that have nothing to do with him.

but you still see him in the mornings sometimes, when you walk past your common room and he’s in his, and you wave at him when he’s alone so you’re not so shy, and he nods in acknowledgement before he just walks away.

one night while you’re burning the midnight oil trying to cram some accounting knowledge into your brain, you get a text from sae.

wanna get supper?

both of you end up at one of the supper spots outside of school, a little cosy shop that sells boba and ramen even after midnight.

“why’d you wanna get supper?”

sae shrugs, taking a sip of his plain water. “just bored, couldn’t sleep.”

“isn’t this soccer season? you can’t even eat anything in here, it’s definitely not passable for your diet.”

he sighs, leaning back against his chair. “so? quit whining and start eating your shit already.”

if it was some other guy you’d be rolling your eyes and storming off. but it’s sae and you know him and he thinks he’s talking normally like this. besides, when you catch his eyes flicker up to lock with yours you get a little dizzy inside.

“what’re you up so late for anyway?”

sae’s fingers are drumming lightly against the surface of the metal table, teal eyes diligently observing as you bring the strands of noodle to your lips. “told you, i couldn’t sleep.”

you find that strange; he’s always been able to sleep, no problem. and he’s strict about his eight hour sleep schedule. what could be getting to the great itoshi sae?

(sae’s lying through his teeth; having his bedroom right across from yours means he can see when your lights aren’t out. sue him for being a little concerned.)

“so, heard you and the team are going on a soccer trip somewhere in europe,” you bring up. you’d heard it from your friends, strangely, instead of sae himself.

he nods. “yeah, just a select few,” he tells you, “only if we win the tournament though, then the team’ll officially invite us over.”

so-called team you heard about is real madrid, and you’d be crazy to think that sae couldn’t help your university team win on his own.

“guess i won’t be seeing you around when you go,” you mumble idly, not completely aware of what you’re basically saying.

sae is adept at reading in between the lines, but he doesn’t probe you on it. he’s not sure he wants to. he doesn’t know what this is. do you still like him? does he like you too? all these feelings are new; sae doesn’t know what to do with it.

so he keeps it to himself. for now.

he doesn’t really do a good job at following through with it though, because on the day of the tournament finals, he looks at you and winks right as he orchestrates that winning goal for his team, and you’re left wondering if you’re imagining things.

UNIVERSITY: SOPHOMORE YEAR

the final part of your freshman year went and gone, and it didn’t go exactly how you imagined it to be. you didn’t expect to hear from sae at all when he went on his trip after that tournament.

but you did.

he replied you whenever he had the time. told you anything you asked for. even called you when you had a mini meltdown because of finals.

to be frank, you don’t know what the both of you are anymore. you’re cursing yourself for being too scared to ask.

“hey y/n, have you seen hime anywhere?”

it’s oliver asking, captain of the university’s soccer team and also hime’s current situationship. he’d started hitting her up since that first time sae played and brought attention to you and the people around you.

“yeah, she’s by the pool with mira.”

oliver leaves as soon as you tell him, and you stand awkwardly at the corner of the living room, by the full panel of glass windows, wondering if you should just go home. you’d only came because hime and mira both said you needed to experience a party at least once this year but now you’re surrounded by people making out and drunkards slipping into the pool that it makes you regret giving this a shot at all.

especially since sae’s not going to be back till tomorrow, garnering as much interest as he did during his time in spain. you really have no reason to be here.

“hey there, pretty.”

startled, you find a familiar face up close in your personal space, his finger twirling your hair. you’d recognise that head of blonde and pink anywhere.

“oh, you’re ryusei shido right? you’re on the soccer team with sae,” you think out loud, and he nods, and you can see his blonde lashes so closely it’s making you flustered.

“mhm, fwhat’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a corner? seems like a shame,” he comments, though he doesn’t even give you a chance to answer. the next thing you know, shido drags you into a drinking game with hime and mira (which is why your first instinct wasn’t to run off, if you could trust anyone it’s your best friends). although, shido is getting annoyingly close and you can’t decide if you’re nervous or annoyed.

and the heavens surely love you when they let shido draw the card that corresponds to a dare, and they love testing your boundaries when some guy called otoya dares him to kiss you.

but no, you know that the heavens really do love you when someone yanks shido’s hair back and pulls him away from your face, taking his spot in between the both of you in the bid for proximity that you don’t mind because it’s itoshi sae.

“sae, what’re you doing here? i thought you wouldn’t be back till tomorrow,” you ask, a little shell-shocked but you still notice he’s discerning frown and how there’s barely any space between the two of you.

he looks at you, tilting his head, “what? my girl’s not happy to see me here?”

you don’t respond. half because you think you’re dreaming and fuck—really, did he just call you his girl?

“eh? i don’t recall you having a girlfriend?” shido leers, a hand on the spot of his head where sae had pulled on earlier.

“yeah, besides, shido still has to do the dare.” otoya sounds bored more than anything, but the guy beside him, karasu, if you remember correctly, is smirking.

sae sighs, and you feel like you must’ve crossed the boundary to another dimension when you feel sae’s lips on yours, and you think you’re in limbo when you feel his hand on your neck, pulling you close. his tongue pries your lips apart and people are whistling while shido’s behind him saying get a fucking room or i’ll beat off to this.

when the object of your affection finally pulls away, you’re met with the same pair of unbothered teal eyes, the pair that immediately turns to face otoya. “there, did it for him. now move on.”

you’re beginning to thank alcohol for its existence when almost everyone obeys wordlessly, moving on to some other guy’s turn. you really can’t remember who sits on shido’s right when all you can think of is that itoshi sae, your longtime high school crush, actually kissed you.

that’s enough to warrant the question, right? the question of what sae takes you for?

the inner debate sparks long into the night, even when sae walks you back to your apartment, the both of you side by side in silence.

“sae, what was that?”

he plays coy. “what was what?”

you’re only a little tipsy, so you can still tolerate his avoidance. “you confuse me a lot, you know that?”

sae doesn’t take the bait. “oh, i see.”

“you were jealous.” he was. he really was. you can tell; he was sour to shido the entire night. he stuck close to you too, sometimes your fingers brushed against each other’s.

“so what if i was?”

this one is new. sae’s actually admitting it. and usually you’d chicken out but you can see your apartment coming into view and you don’t want to let this go.

“what am i to you, sae?” you manage to choke it out a few feet away from the door, and sae stops in his tracks, hands in his pocket and teal eyes looking heavenward.

you’re beginning to regret your decision to ask; you’re not sure if his indecision is a good or bad thing. nothing seems to be simple when it comes to itoshi sae.

but he does nothing to appease your confusion when he steps in front of you, his body pressed flush against yours as he presses another kiss to your lips, and you think this one is special because it’s not done in the name of a dare or in front of anyone else. this kiss is for you and you alone and sae is doing this on purpose.

when he pulls back, you see him furrow his brows and you can tell that maybe he’s just as confused as you are.

“when i managed to get an earlier slot for my flight, all i could think about was how excited i was to see you.”

is this… a confession? you’re even more confused now that you don’t even know what to say.

to be honest, so is sae, which is why he swallows the lump in his throat and relegates to his apartment, “goodnight.”

things after that change just a little.

you’d decided to go with the flow, just because you really don’t want to sabotage whatever friendship you and sae had left, although most of the time, sae is the one toeing the line. even though he doesn’t outright tell you anything regarding his feelings.

but you think you figured him out.

sae asks you out whenever you’re both free, and not for shit like studying or errands, but for movies and dinner and he drives you around in his car and looks at you like you’re the only girl he sees. his eyes don’t wander when he’s with you, and he lets you wear even more of his jackets. it’s also evolved to his jerseys and his beloved windbreakers. you have one of each in your own closet and he never seems to ask for them back anymore. he also lets you wear his rings, puts them on your fingers randomly.

both of you still go for parties, especially when it’s one of the soccer guys who are throwing it, because they practically force sae to go and they know you’re the key to convincing him.

most of the time the two of you just laze on the couch, drinking and talking about nothing at all, and he idly plays with your fingers when he’s tipsy, something you never tell him because you like it, because you don’t want him to feel self-conscious and stop. he also smells your hair after he sends you home and hugs you before he retreats to his place, and you wonder if he’s fully sober when he does that.

you resign to getting your answer some other time, because you don’t want anything to ruin this, if this is just an illusion. yeah, you’d talking feelings some other time.

UNIVERSITY: JUNIOR YEAR

you really had no right to be, but you are. try as you might, you can’t stop yourself from feeling the way you do. especially not when she’s sitting so so close to him, when her hand brushes his fingers.

she’s just his project partner, nothing more, but something irks you about the way she can get so close to him so quickly when it took you much longer. but then you hear from shido that kaori is rin and sae’s childhood friend, so maybe that’s why they’re so damn close.

apparently, she’d gotten back to japan after ten years abroad. with great timing too, right when you thought you and sae could amount to something.

“you know, i could help you make him jealous if you wanna,” shido whispers in your ear one time when he catches you staring at them. “we’ll make him feel how you feel, m’kay?”

and while that’s tempting, you shake your head. it’s unreasonable for you to take it out on him that way, not when he hasn’t actually done anything that proves he’s just leading you on.

lately sae’s been so busy around kaori that you’re just thinking too much. you’re wondering if he’s slowly replacing you. he still talks to you over text, but you barely hang out like you did before. you still spot him through the windows, but he’s always too tired to notice you. even his texts are getting slower.

“hey, you okay?”

trust it to hime to notice your personal dilemma. you’re not really surprised though, because she’s been watching you moping for the last few weeks. she now has oliver wrapped fully around her finger, with him sticking around her all the time, which is a surprise considering his reputation.

but hime will take your side, you know this, and maybe that’s why you play it off. you don’t want her to hate sae because of a momentary feeling, so you tell her you’re just sick and you’ll go back home.

the moment you get back to your apartment, you see sae waiting out on the front, car ready while he leans against the hood, waiting.

and you might’ve asked if he was waiting for kaori, but then he looks up and sees you and smirks and that’s all you need to know that he’s not. he was waiting for you, and now he’s opening the passenger side door and telling you to “get in, stupid.”

that’s how sae is with you, impromptu and surprisingly sweet. he drives you to the pier, a cute spot right next to an amusement park where he’d gotten you some candy floss before the both of you just sits on the hood of his car, enjoying the scenery.

“why’d you suddenly bring me here?”

sae lies down, the sun hitting his face in all the right places. he’s gorgeous, you realise for what seems like the thousandth time since you’d known him.

“oliver told me you’d been a little mopey lately,” sae says, and you’re already embarrassed. “sorry if i’ve been busy lately.”

you mirror his position, lying down next to him, and it feels oddly nice like this. you’re not sure if it’s the situation or the person.

“it’s okay, i heard that kaori’s your old friend right? you guys must have a lot to catch up on.” it doesn’t stop you from feeling jealous, but it’ll pass. you hope.

sae chuckles before he turns to you, and you turn to face him too, “you’re jealous.” he smirks, and you’re reminded of the same thing you told him that first night he kissed you.

“shut up, sae.”

he laughs because you’re being pouty, and because maybe it feels a little nice to know you can feel it too. just then, he mirrors what you did way back in high school, reaching across you for your phone. except he doesn’t key in anything—he opens up your camera and takes a picture of the two of you like this, sae looking naturally handsome and better than you because you’re stunned he’s doing this, eyes wide and expression puzzled.

“what’s that for?”

sae’s still fiddling on your phone as you ask, and then he passes it back to you. he’d set it as your phone’s wallpaper.

“to remind you that you’re the one i like, idiot.”

and even though you and sae aren’t physically too close in the wallpaper, you think maybe it’s enough to tide your feelings through for now. he doesn’t ask you for anything else after that, just leaves his confession at that and sends you home before saying he has to finish up his project, aka going to find kaori.

it’s fine by you though, because now you know where sae’s head’s at, even though he never explicitly asked you anything. you’re sure he knows how you feel too, especially since you’d been the one to kiss him first that day a few years back.

but how apt for you to go to sleep early and be woken up by dozens of messages blowing up your phone, the majority of them attaching pictures at a certain party.

still pictures of sae locking lips with kaori, and you feel your heart sinking.

sae’s message comes through just as you’re scrolling through your phone.

meet me at my place? not what it looks like, i promise.

and maybe it’s because you feel like you know sae well enough that you’re not even panicking. you respond within seconds.

sure, see you!

you take the liberty of going next door, entering when one of the other guys who lives there clumsily walks in drunk. it’s easy enough to find sae’s room, you recognise it from across your own room too well. and maybe it’s a slight invasion of privacy but you can’t help but turn your attention to his desk.

his room is all neat with the occasional laundry thrown on the corner of the room, trophies and medals on the bookshelf by the table. but what catches your eye is the little pink heart-shaped post-it note that looks all too familiar.

your handwriting fills the piece of paper.

i think you’re cute and i really really like you

you could cringe right now from how cringe you were being back then. but then you realise, sae kept this? did he keep this knowing it was from you? you hear the door opening downstairs and jump back a little, accidentally pressing on his keyboard while trying to place your note back in its position, and the screensaver that greets you renders you speechless.

it’s the picture sae took of the both of you at the bleachers of his first match.

someone closes the laptop before you can think any more, and you’re greeted with sae right next to you, cheeks flushed—either from alcohol or embarrassment. you can’t really tell, but judging from the lack of alcohol stench, you’d like to bet it’s the latter.

“you have me as your wallpaper?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed he didn’t get there in time for you not to see that. “who else would i put there?”

you bite your tongue to stop yourself from instinctively saying kaori out of spite. guess you’re still a little groggy from being woken up in the middle of the night.

“about earlier,” sae begins, not really sure how to continue.

“you mean the pics going around of you and kaori kissing?” you’re not even mad, you’re sure there’s an explanation—that’s how much you feel you know itoshi sae. he’s not the type to bother with leading someone on; if anything, he’s probably the type to immediately cut things off if he wasn’t interested and so far, he’s always been thinking of you.

sae sighs, rubbing his temple before taking a seat on his bed. “that was fucking stupid,” he grumbles, eyes closed. “she was way too tipsy and getting all up in my face and before i knew it she just—” his eyes are open now, briefly looking at you before looking away, hiding behind the sides of his soft locks, “she kissed me. i was stunned for a little so…”

you snicker a little, because sae looks so different from how he usually looks—aloof, ignorant, arrogant. now he looks like a puppy who’s been kicked to the side and you can’t help but notice the difference.

“sae… why are you telling me this?”

screw his indecisiveness, if it was in the first place. you want his answer now, up straight. and sae seems to know what you’re thinking because he chuckles, relieved because he can read your tone—you’re not angry, not upset, you trust him somehow and it’s only because despite what you think, you know him better than anyone else.

“fuck off, y/n, you already know,” and he says this affectionately because you can feel the tenderness in the way he says your name, in the way he invites you into his arms—the way he pulls you close and lets you sit facing him on his lap. “you gonna be my girlfriend now or what?”

your lips are so so close and you’re both holding back so so much. “mmm i don’t know, itoshi sae, what if i wanna see you beg me for it?”

“god, i hate you,” he says, without meaning it. it’s the first time you’re actually feeling how strong he is, because he lifts you up from the back of your thighs and throws you on his bed as he hovers over you, a little squeal leaving your lips at the unexpected gesture. “hm, kinda like that sound you make.”

he’s saying it so monotonously that you’re embarrassed. “shut up, sae, before i leave.”

“that’s cute, you think you’d actually leave me,” he teases, and you curse yourself for finding that slight condescending tone of his hot. “but hey, really, be my girlfriend.”

“you asking me that after kissing another girl?” you act shocked, acutely aware of how his fingers are all intertwining with yours, your hands on either side of your head, sae pinning you down. if anyone walked in now, they’d get the wrong idea of what you two are doing. for sure. but you try to act unbothered, you don’t want to boost his ego even more.

sae leans down to press his forehead against yours, and you’re hoping your heart doesn’t leap out of your chest because he’d definitely feel it. “shit timing, i know. but you’re the only one i want, so.”

he’s pretty shit at talking emotions, you realise. and then you realise that this only works because you’re equally good at reading his. despite his reluctance to talk emotions, he shows you how special you are, constantly.

many girls want him, but you’re the one he spends most of his time with. you’re the one with his actual clothes in your closet and his rings on your fingers. you’re the one sae kisses and willingly so, the only one who’s on his wallpaper reminding him of what he’ll have each time he comes home.

“i told kaori i liked you and no one else too,” sae continues explaining, though he really doesn’t need to. you listen anyway. “she got mad and stormed off but shit, i don’t care. only care about you.”

and he’s pretty forthcoming with his feelings when he wants to be and that’s enough for you. you squeeze his fingers lightly and smile at him.

you don’t have to hear any more to know.

“i love you too, itoshi sae.”

the way he marks you that night lets you in on everything you need to know.

UNIVERSITY: SENIOR YEAR

six years.

it’s been six years since you’d first had a crush on itoshi sae. and now you’re his girlfriend, always in the front row for every match and the object of most of his fangirls’ hatred. that’s okay though, none of that matters.

whenever you come back home to your (shared) apartment now, it’s like all your worries melt away into the void, and sae reminds you just how much you mean. even if his pet names are less than swoon-worthy at times.

“you really need to stop posting shit like this,” you deadpan, showing sae your phone screen. it’s a picture of you asleep in the morning, drooling on his bare shoulder.

sae blinks, acting coy like he always does. “what? it’s cute.”

“you’re insufferable, itoshi.”

sae ignores that, switching the subject. “hey, you have any goals for your twenties?”

you hum, pondering. “well, i guess if i could do what i want, i’d travel the world,” you pause, sitting up on the sofa and looking at him. “why?”

it’s the last year of university, and the both of you are finishing your degrees, with the possibility that sae might be getting a contract with one of the overseas clubs. you’re not really sure; there’s a few of them who’ve expressed interest, but you’d always let sae think through it on his own.

does his question have something to do with that?

“was thinking i wanted to take you along if you wanted to come with,” sae half explains, because he’s bad with details like that. he continues when he spots your confusion, “if you wanted to explore wherever i decided to go.”

oh, he means he wants to take you along to wherever he decided to go. you’re flattered, honestly.

“you mean, the itoshi sae wants to bring me wherever he goes, huh?” sae is already turning red, sensing your big head. “you offering to be my sugar daddy too?”

sae sighs. “you’re so stupid, i swear,” he complains, his words lacking any bite because he’s rubbing circles onto your arms. “you said you found some remote jobs right? thought we could make use of that and just go wherever together.”

after six years, you finally see sae trying to plan a future where the both of you are together. he loves soccer, but he loves you too, and you’re not the kind of person who’d make him choose, so you appreciate his compromises instead.

“itoshi sae, i’ll follow you wherever you go.”

he presses a hasty kiss on your lips, “good, ‘cause i plan on keeping you forever.”

you grin, pulling him down to you and kissing him even deeper, “i’ll hold you to your words, then.”

sae smiles against your lips. because he knows he got lucky with you, lucky you were there at the right moment, slipping your love letter into his locker. lucky you continued to like him, lucky you knew how to put him in his place whenever. lucky you’re you and you love him.

maybe he’s always liked you, even back in freshman year of high school when he realised how kind you are, how gentle you could be. you looked pretty in the sun that day, when he first saw you trying out soccer in the yard and falling flat on your ass. you didn’t notice him back then but he noticed you, not that you knew. sae didn’t try anything because he was sure it’d fail. but who knew all it took for his mind to change was a simple nudge from you?

he’s pretty sure that you’re his human manifestation of a forever.

“when the time comes, just say yes.”

─── 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒, 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘, 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒

+ itoshi sae x f!reader | wc 7.1k | content: fluff, making out, college!au, mentions of insecurity, only very brief angst !!, alcohol, slight jealousy

notes: this was supposed to be lengthier and in smau format but i suck at that so here it is in fic format :’) i know i know, i write sae way too much </3

summary: you have a crush on sae. for a long time now. and he’s always known that. he just wants to see how long you can hold out.

HIGH SCHOOL: 2ND YEAR

itoshi sae knows you like him.

you’re really obvious it’s pathetic, really. once during recess, he’d wanted to go back to the classroom to get some shut eye because soccer was way too draining lately, and guess who he saw slipping a little love note into his locker?

of course you. you and your little pink heart-shaped post-it that read i think you’re cute and i really really like you. because it was valentines and you were one of the many to send him little scribbles of confessions.

even now, when you sit just a couple of rows in front of him, he catches you looking behind at him, and sae purposely doesn’t look at you, doesn’t let you know he knows you’re staring. he’s not really sure why. maybe he feels bad if he exposes you or something.

throughout the rest of your sophomore year in high school, he continues to observe as you so subtly (not really) try to be friends with him. you always try to get picked to be in the same group as him for projects (which never works out), you try to sit next to him in lecture halls (but his friends cockblock you always), and during phys ed classes you try so hard with soccer but you’re really quite bad at it.

maybe it’s sae not being able to continue observing your failures that he throws you a bone.

“you need to bend your knees a little more.”

frozen stiff from the unexpected company, you awkwardly try to bend your knees further, all while staring at the ground. if sae was nice, he’d laugh and joke around with you, asking why you seemed so scared of him. but he’s not, so he only sighs and stands beside you while you try.

after a few more seconds, sae understands you don’t really understand so he moves to push down on your thigh, and by then you really freeze up, falling flat on your ass in front of him.

sae wants to laugh now, really, because it’s amusing how nervous you are. for no good reason too.

the next time sae talks to you, it’s during lunch time when he queues up behind you. on purpose. he doesn’t even usually eat from this stall, but seeing you there makes him want to mess with you a little. he purposely stands a little too close, makes himself prone to an accidental bump.

which does happen. because you’re just like that.

“oh, sor—” you stop midway as if realising it’s sae immediately dissolves you of any obliged apologies. “sorry,” you force out before whipping your attention back in front. the both of you don’t talk in that moment and sae can’t help but feel a little disappointed.

but sae continues to help you during phys ed classes, and you still try to get assigned to be his group mate. nothing groundbreaking happens during sophomore year of high school because nothing is born out of it.

nothing, except maybe a tiny bit of sae’s inexplicable emotions for you.

HIGH SCHOOL: SENIOR YEAR

sae thinks maybe you went to a shrine over the holidays. how else would he explain you finally getting partnered with him on a project? and to top it off, it’s a two-person team for the entire year.

you get him all to yourself.

the moment the teacher calls your name after his, it’s like sae can practically see your tail wagging. you manage to compose yourself when you catch him staring at you though.

it’s a little cute, if he’s being honest.

“so, what do you think our project should be about?” your voice wavers a little when you speak to him. is he that intimidating?

sae wonders what if he tries to be a dick during this project. would you be obedient or would you actually bite back?

he tries to find out.

sae shrugs and acts disinterested, staring out the window of the second floor of the library where you’d both agreed to meet to work on it together. “don’t know, don’t care, think you could handle it for us? i’ve got too many soccer trainings, too tired.”

for a split second, you’re taken aback—he sees you sitting upright a little more, blinking twice at him because surely that’s not what you imagined your crush to behave like. not when he has straight As and is almost the top of your cohort.

and for a while, sae thinks you might actually be the former; obediently listening to him, making sure he’s happy. but then you furrow your brows and clench your fists and go “itoshi sae, who do you think you are” and oh, oh, you’re not the former, you’re the latter and you’d actually kill him if he was a dick. fuck.

somehow his hands instinctively come up in surrender and his mouth opens, “i was just kidding.”

it’s almost comical how your expression softens up immediately and you laugh, and sae keeps staring at you because you actually have a really nice smile. he never really noticed it before. and when the two of you actually get started on the project, sae finds himself observing you more than actually contributing.

yeah, you’re really quite pretty.

“any plans for the summer?”

it’s now almost july and summer break is around the corner, and to be honest sae’s kind of bummed about it. it’s beyond him why not seeing you would make him disappointed, but he’s not going to try and pursue the reason. he has his training camps to worry about.

“soccer. you?”

“mmm, a short trip with my parents.”

usually sae would leave it at that, but he asks about you, and he sees that tail wagging again. “where?”

“just gonna go to hokkaido,” you tell him. and you look like you’re anticipating him to ask more, but sae’s stuck. he doesn’t really know what to ask. he’s not exactly curious as to what you’d be doing there.

so you take matters into your own hand when you swiftly grab his phone from the table, key in your number and call yourself from his phone before putting it right back. sae watches you the whole time, wondering when exactly you’d gotten this bold.

“there, now you can’t escape me even over summer break.”

and he doesn’t. because you text him about your trip when you’re there, you send him pictures of the scenery and of the food you’re eating and you’re really inconsiderate because you send him that shit when he’s stuck in soccer bootcamp with twenty-four sweaty guys who’s none the better than him.

sae can end it by all means, just by not responding to you, but for the first time, talking to someone isn’t really a pain, and he thinks you’re kind of funny and the stickers you send are kind of cute so he’ll let this continue. even if by continue he means sending mediocre, lacklustre responses that just barely manages to keep the conversation going.

(in sae’s mind at eighteen, sending replies like okay and i see are considered acceptable and subjectively considered effort.)

when summer break finally ends and it’s early september, sae finally sees you again while he walks to school. he walks a little faster just to catch up to you before he adjusts his pace, acts like it’s coincidence that he’s right beside you.

and somehow he’s made it a routine; to memorise what bus you get off of and catch you on the way to school. even if he sees you in classes and even after classes in the library.

you’re acting a little less like he’s on a podium and more like normal friends and he kind of likes that. he likes being able to see you unfiltered when you gossip, likes seeing you laugh at stupid lame jokes, likes the way you hang close to him whenever you’re beside him.

okay maybe like is a little stretching it, he doesn’t mind being able to tolerate it. or maybe he’s just in denial, whatever.

winter comes and it’s somehow the time when more girls try to talk to him, mainly because somehow the school decides to hold a winter event this year; it’s going to be held near the edge of the city, where the biggest skating rink is.

by his guess, most girls are looking for a guy to have a skating date with.

in the library during your usual meetup for the school project, sae gets more than a couple visitors trying to get him for that same reason. you eye everyone that approaches the table, and sae can’t help but notice how he actually likes when you’re pouty. maybe it’s his twisted thinking that jealousy means you’re still into him.

“itoshi-kun, i was thinking whether you wanted to go to the winter event together?” another girl from your class, mizuno, asks him, and sae is tired of it, frankly. but he doesn’t show it. he only looks at you, and you look back at him because he doesn’t usually stare for this long.

then, he looks at mizuno and rejects her.

“sorry, can’t, i’m going with y/n.”

(you get home that day being completely flustered and completely happy.)

on the day of the event, sae keeps his word. he goes with you, sticks beside you the entire time. his friends snap pictures of the two of you and you always look so embarrassed. maybe you’re just not used to all of this attention. but that’s fine, it’s cute.

one thing he learns about you is that you can be real clumsy sometimes. like now, when you get so excited over your watermelon slushie that you somehow spill it all over your jacket and clothes.

sae ends up giving you his puffy winter jacket while he braves the cold with whatever he has left. that’s fine, he’s strong. besides, getting to watch you wear his jacket the entire time feels like a bonus somehow.

he thinks by now you should confess already, but you don’t. you’re happy to stay in this bubble with him right now, whichever phase the two of you are at. so is he. it feels kind of nice.

feels especially nice when you hang onto him for dear life in the skating rink even though neither of you are moving. sae’s aware that people are staring holes into both of you but it’s strange how much he doesn’t mind when it’s with you. that’s why he holds his hands out, lets you take them, makes himself pull you along. he finds himself wishing neither of you were wearing gloves so he could feel how soft your hands are.

by the end of the day, everyone takes it that the both of you are together, even though the both of you are too avoidant to talk about it.

“hey, sae? thanks for today,” you say later that night when everything is done and you’d had the giddiest experience with sae. he’s walking you home and he doesn’t even know why; it’s a mystery to him why he keeps himself close whenever he can.

“it’s fine, i was the one who told people i was going with you, so.”

when he gets you to your front porch, you don’t go in immediately, standing right there with your back facing him, and sae wonders what’s going through your head. if only he could see the expression on your face right now, maybe he’d know.

you let him; because you turn around, giving him a big smile before you take a step forward and press a chaste kiss on his cheek, immediately turning on your heel and running into your house.

neither of you say bye, both of you are just a little too stunned to speak. sae stands out there in the cold for a little while longer, his face and ears red—he’s not even sure whether it’s from the weather or from you—but even when he starts to leave, you’re still slumped at your front door, covering your face in embarrassment, knees too weak to stand up.

there’s only one more quarter left until you graduate and sae and you both act like nothing happened that day. you still gossip unfiltered and he still listens but acts like he doesn’t.

except now instead of sitting across from you, he opts to sit directly beside you. sometimes sits a little too close just so your arms will brush against each other. sae also lets you keep his puffy jacket because you said you liked it.

you wear it throughout winter.

when graduation comes around and it’s time for sae to choose his university, he can’t help but take a peek at your screen. a smile comes to his face when he sees your first choice is the same as his. you’re smart too, he doesn’t doubt you’ll get in.

“itoshi sae, you can smile?”

sae immediately turns it into a frown. “guess not.”

you take your words back. “hey, i’m just kidding! it’s just rare… that’s all.”

so you notice him a lot then?

sure, you might not have seen him smile a lot. but that’s fine. from what sae knows, you have the entirety of your university years to possibly catch it.

UNIVERSITY: FRESHMAN YEAR

of course you enter the same university as itoshi sae. it’s not on purpose, but you’re glad you both made it here anyway.

at least knowing one friendly face is better than none.

to be honest, you’re not really sure where you and sae stand. he’s never said anything about that kiss, but he also doesn’t stay away from you. can you take that as a positive thing?

if anything, he’s even closer.

somehow, his dorms and yours are practically next door. when you open your bathroom window, you can look right into his. it happened once, by accident, and you’d caught him, shirtless with just a white towel hanging around his neck, hair damp as he brushes his teeth, the droplets of water on his abs looking very inviting.

but then he caught you staring and you’ve shut your bathroom window ever since. thankfully, he never mentions it.

being in university and staying in campus meant that you were both hanging out much more informally. and you’d think that two people at the age of nineteen who’d known each other for three years would be less awkward than this but it’s you and sae and somehow there’s always an element of awkwardness.

it’s halfway into your freshman year and you’d just watched the first match that sae’s playing for the university team. you’re a little starstruck, honestly. to think that the guy you’ve always had a crush on is this good at soccer.

he’s amazing. you’re feeling like a potato sack.

“hey, you know him right?” hime gushes.

your friends are with you, so it’s natural they ask.

mira on your left sighs, “guess we have no shot with him since he’s with y/n all the time,” she says, nudging you in the elbow.

you’re starting to regret bringing them here with all the teasing. you’re also regretting coming here yourself because you see several girls running to him asking for a picture together. some of which you recognise, some of which are the popular girls.

sae doesn’t stop them from snapping what they can, but he also doesn’t stop for them at all. instead, he saunters over to you, hime and mira wordlessly disappearing to the side.

“gimme that,” sae says, gesturing to the phone in your hand. you obey, of course, and he smirks, then he snaps a selfie with you before tossing your phone back and walking off.

the pairs of eyes on you make you half-embarrassed yet half-proud. even with this many fangirls, sae chooses to come to you.

that night sae asks you to send him the picture.

yeah, maybe you can take that as a positive thing.

freshman year after that is generally uneventful. you and sae are both trying to find your footing, with him preoccupied mostly with soccer trainings while you’re drowning in assignments and projects that have nothing to do with him.

but you still see him in the mornings sometimes, when you walk past your common room and he’s in his, and you wave at him when he’s alone so you’re not so shy, and he nods in acknowledgement before he just walks away.

one night while you’re burning the midnight oil trying to cram some accounting knowledge into your brain, you get a text from sae.

wanna get supper?

both of you end up at one of the supper spots outside of school, a little cosy shop that sells boba and ramen even after midnight.

“why’d you wanna get supper?”

sae shrugs, taking a sip of his plain water. “just bored, couldn’t sleep.”

“isn’t this soccer season? you can’t even eat anything in here, it’s definitely not passable for your diet.”

he sighs, leaning back against his chair. “so? quit whining and start eating your shit already.”

if it was some other guy you’d be rolling your eyes and storming off. but it’s sae and you know him and he thinks he’s talking normally like this. besides, when you catch his eyes flicker up to lock with yours you get a little dizzy inside.

“what’re you up so late for anyway?”

sae’s fingers are drumming lightly against the surface of the metal table, teal eyes diligently observing as you bring the strands of noodle to your lips. “told you, i couldn’t sleep.”

you find that strange; he’s always been able to sleep, no problem. and he’s strict about his eight hour sleep schedule. what could be getting to the great itoshi sae?

(sae’s lying through his teeth; having his bedroom right across from yours means he can see when your lights aren’t out. sue him for being a little concerned.)

“so, heard you and the team are going on a soccer trip somewhere in europe,” you bring up. you’d heard it from your friends, strangely, instead of sae himself.

he nods. “yeah, just a select few,” he tells you, “only if we win the tournament though, then the team’ll officially invite us over.”

so-called team you heard about is real madrid, and you’d be crazy to think that sae couldn’t help your university team win on his own.

“guess i won’t be seeing you around when you go,” you mumble idly, not completely aware of what you’re basically saying.

sae is adept at reading in between the lines, but he doesn’t probe you on it. he’s not sure he wants to. he doesn’t know what this is. do you still like him? does he like you too? all these feelings are new; sae doesn’t know what to do with it.

so he keeps it to himself. for now.

he doesn’t really do a good job at following through with it though, because on the day of the tournament finals, he looks at you and winks right as he orchestrates that winning goal for his team, and you’re left wondering if you’re imagining things.

UNIVERSITY: SOPHOMORE YEAR

the final part of your freshman year went and gone, and it didn’t go exactly how you imagined it to be. you didn’t expect to hear from sae at all when he went on his trip after that tournament.

but you did.

he replied you whenever he had the time. told you anything you asked for. even called you when you had a mini meltdown because of finals.

to be frank, you don’t know what the both of you are anymore. you’re cursing yourself for being too scared to ask.

“hey y/n, have you seen hime anywhere?”

it’s oliver asking, captain of the university’s soccer team and also hime’s current situationship. he’d started hitting her up since that first time sae played and brought attention to you and the people around you.

“yeah, she’s by the pool with mira.”

oliver leaves as soon as you tell him, and you stand awkwardly at the corner of the living room, by the full panel of glass windows, wondering if you should just go home. you’d only came because hime and mira both said you needed to experience a party at least once this year but now you’re surrounded by people making out and drunkards slipping into the pool that it makes you regret giving this a shot at all.

especially since sae’s not going to be back till tomorrow, garnering as much interest as he did during his time in spain. you really have no reason to be here.

“hey there, pretty.”

startled, you find a familiar face up close in your personal space, his finger twirling your hair. you’d recognise that head of blonde and pink anywhere.

“oh, you’re ryusei shido right? you’re on the soccer team with sae,” you think out loud, and he nods, and you can see his blonde lashes so closely it’s making you flustered.

“mhm, fwhat’s a pretty girl like you doing all alone in a corner? seems like a shame,” he comments, though he doesn’t even give you a chance to answer. the next thing you know, shido drags you into a drinking game with hime and mira (which is why your first instinct wasn’t to run off, if you could trust anyone it’s your best friends). although, shido is getting annoyingly close and you can’t decide if you’re nervous or annoyed.

and the heavens surely love you when they let shido draw the card that corresponds to a dare, and they love testing your boundaries when some guy called otoya dares him to kiss you.

but no, you know that the heavens really do love you when someone yanks shido’s hair back and pulls him away from your face, taking his spot in between the both of you in the bid for proximity that you don’t mind because it’s itoshi sae.

“sae, what’re you doing here? i thought you wouldn’t be back till tomorrow,” you ask, a little shell-shocked but you still notice he’s discerning frown and how there’s barely any space between the two of you.

he looks at you, tilting his head, “what? my girl’s not happy to see me here?”

you don’t respond. half because you think you’re dreaming and fuck—really, did he just call you his girl?

“eh? i don’t recall you having a girlfriend?” shido leers, a hand on the spot of his head where sae had pulled on earlier.

“yeah, besides, shido still has to do the dare.” otoya sounds bored more than anything, but the guy beside him, karasu, if you remember correctly, is smirking.

sae sighs, and you feel like you must’ve crossed the boundary to another dimension when you feel sae’s lips on yours, and you think you’re in limbo when you feel his hand on your neck, pulling you close. his tongue pries your lips apart and people are whistling while shido’s behind him saying get a fucking room or i’ll beat off to this.

when the object of your affection finally pulls away, you’re met with the same pair of unbothered teal eyes, the pair that immediately turns to face otoya. “there, did it for him. now move on.”

you’re beginning to thank alcohol for its existence when almost everyone obeys wordlessly, moving on to some other guy’s turn. you really can’t remember who sits on shido’s right when all you can think of is that itoshi sae, your longtime high school crush, actually kissed you.

that’s enough to warrant the question, right? the question of what sae takes you for?

the inner debate sparks long into the night, even when sae walks you back to your apartment, the both of you side by side in silence.

“sae, what was that?”

he plays coy. “what was what?”

you’re only a little tipsy, so you can still tolerate his avoidance. “you confuse me a lot, you know that?”

sae doesn’t take the bait. “oh, i see.”

“you were jealous.” he was. he really was. you can tell; he was sour to shido the entire night. he stuck close to you too, sometimes your fingers brushed against each other’s.

“so what if i was?”

this one is new. sae’s actually admitting it. and usually you’d chicken out but you can see your apartment coming into view and you don’t want to let this go.

“what am i to you, sae?” you manage to choke it out a few feet away from the door, and sae stops in his tracks, hands in his pocket and teal eyes looking heavenward.

you’re beginning to regret your decision to ask; you’re not sure if his indecision is a good or bad thing. nothing seems to be simple when it comes to itoshi sae.

but he does nothing to appease your confusion when he steps in front of you, his body pressed flush against yours as he presses another kiss to your lips, and you think this one is special because it’s not done in the name of a dare or in front of anyone else. this kiss is for you and you alone and sae is doing this on purpose.

when he pulls back, you see him furrow his brows and you can tell that maybe he’s just as confused as you are.

“when i managed to get an earlier slot for my flight, all i could think about was how excited i was to see you.”

is this… a confession? you’re even more confused now that you don’t even know what to say.

to be honest, so is sae, which is why he swallows the lump in his throat and relegates to his apartment, “goodnight.”

things after that change just a little.

you’d decided to go with the flow, just because you really don’t want to sabotage whatever friendship you and sae had left, although most of the time, sae is the one toeing the line. even though he doesn’t outright tell you anything regarding his feelings.

but you think you figured him out.

sae asks you out whenever you’re both free, and not for shit like studying or errands, but for movies and dinner and he drives you around in his car and looks at you like you’re the only girl he sees. his eyes don’t wander when he’s with you, and he lets you wear even more of his jackets. it’s also evolved to his jerseys and his beloved windbreakers. you have one of each in your own closet and he never seems to ask for them back anymore. he also lets you wear his rings, puts them on your fingers randomly.

both of you still go for parties, especially when it’s one of the soccer guys who are throwing it, because they practically force sae to go and they know you’re the key to convincing him.

most of the time the two of you just laze on the couch, drinking and talking about nothing at all, and he idly plays with your fingers when he’s tipsy, something you never tell him because you like it, because you don’t want him to feel self-conscious and stop. he also smells your hair after he sends you home and hugs you before he retreats to his place, and you wonder if he’s fully sober when he does that.

you resign to getting your answer some other time, because you don’t want anything to ruin this, if this is just an illusion. yeah, you’d talking feelings some other time.

UNIVERSITY: JUNIOR YEAR

you really had no right to be, but you are. try as you might, you can’t stop yourself from feeling the way you do. especially not when she’s sitting so so close to him, when her hand brushes his fingers.

she’s just his project partner, nothing more, but something irks you about the way she can get so close to him so quickly when it took you much longer. but then you hear from shido that kaori is rin and sae’s childhood friend, so maybe that’s why they’re so damn close.

apparently, she’d gotten back to japan after ten years abroad. with great timing too, right when you thought you and sae could amount to something.

“you know, i could help you make him jealous if you wanna,” shido whispers in your ear one time when he catches you staring at them. “we’ll make him feel how you feel, m’kay?”

and while that’s tempting, you shake your head. it’s unreasonable for you to take it out on him that way, not when he hasn’t actually done anything that proves he’s just leading you on.

lately sae’s been so busy around kaori that you’re just thinking too much. you’re wondering if he’s slowly replacing you. he still talks to you over text, but you barely hang out like you did before. you still spot him through the windows, but he’s always too tired to notice you. even his texts are getting slower.

“hey, you okay?”

trust it to hime to notice your personal dilemma. you’re not really surprised though, because she’s been watching you moping for the last few weeks. she now has oliver wrapped fully around her finger, with him sticking around her all the time, which is a surprise considering his reputation.

but hime will take your side, you know this, and maybe that’s why you play it off. you don’t want her to hate sae because of a momentary feeling, so you tell her you’re just sick and you’ll go back home.

the moment you get back to your apartment, you see sae waiting out on the front, car ready while he leans against the hood, waiting.

and you might’ve asked if he was waiting for kaori, but then he looks up and sees you and smirks and that’s all you need to know that he’s not. he was waiting for you, and now he’s opening the passenger side door and telling you to “get in, stupid.”

that’s how sae is with you, impromptu and surprisingly sweet. he drives you to the pier, a cute spot right next to an amusement park where he’d gotten you some candy floss before the both of you just sits on the hood of his car, enjoying the scenery.

“why’d you suddenly bring me here?”

sae lies down, the sun hitting his face in all the right places. he’s gorgeous, you realise for what seems like the thousandth time since you’d known him.

“oliver told me you’d been a little mopey lately,” sae says, and you’re already embarrassed. “sorry if i’ve been busy lately.”

you mirror his position, lying down next to him, and it feels oddly nice like this. you’re not sure if it’s the situation or the person.

“it’s okay, i heard that kaori’s your old friend right? you guys must have a lot to catch up on.” it doesn’t stop you from feeling jealous, but it’ll pass. you hope.

sae chuckles before he turns to you, and you turn to face him too, “you’re jealous.” he smirks, and you’re reminded of the same thing you told him that first night he kissed you.

“shut up, sae.”

he laughs because you’re being pouty, and because maybe it feels a little nice to know you can feel it too. just then, he mirrors what you did way back in high school, reaching across you for your phone. except he doesn’t key in anything—he opens up your camera and takes a picture of the two of you like this, sae looking naturally handsome and better than you because you’re stunned he’s doing this, eyes wide and expression puzzled.

“what’s that for?”

sae’s still fiddling on your phone as you ask, and then he passes it back to you. he’d set it as your phone’s wallpaper.

“to remind you that you’re the one i like, idiot.”

and even though you and sae aren’t physically too close in the wallpaper, you think maybe it’s enough to tide your feelings through for now. he doesn’t ask you for anything else after that, just leaves his confession at that and sends you home before saying he has to finish up his project, aka going to find kaori.

it’s fine by you though, because now you know where sae’s head’s at, even though he never explicitly asked you anything. you’re sure he knows how you feel too, especially since you’d been the one to kiss him first that day a few years back.

but how apt for you to go to sleep early and be woken up by dozens of messages blowing up your phone, the majority of them attaching pictures at a certain party.

still pictures of sae locking lips with kaori, and you feel your heart sinking.

sae’s message comes through just as you’re scrolling through your phone.

meet me at my place? not what it looks like, i promise.

and maybe it’s because you feel like you know sae well enough that you’re not even panicking. you respond within seconds.

sure, see you!

you take the liberty of going next door, entering when one of the other guys who lives there clumsily walks in drunk. it’s easy enough to find sae’s room, you recognise it from across your own room too well. and maybe it’s a slight invasion of privacy but you can’t help but turn your attention to his desk.

his room is all neat with the occasional laundry thrown on the corner of the room, trophies and medals on the bookshelf by the table. but what catches your eye is the little pink heart-shaped post-it note that looks all too familiar.

your handwriting fills the piece of paper.

i think you’re cute and i really really like you

you could cringe right now from how cringe you were being back then. but then you realise, sae kept this? did he keep this knowing it was from you? you hear the door opening downstairs and jump back a little, accidentally pressing on his keyboard while trying to place your note back in its position, and the screensaver that greets you renders you speechless.

it’s the picture sae took of the both of you at the bleachers of his first match.

someone closes the laptop before you can think any more, and you’re greeted with sae right next to you, cheeks flushed—either from alcohol or embarrassment. you can’t really tell, but judging from the lack of alcohol stench, you’d like to bet it’s the latter.

“you have me as your wallpaper?”

sae clicks his tongue, annoyed he didn’t get there in time for you not to see that. “who else would i put there?”

you bite your tongue to stop yourself from instinctively saying kaori out of spite. guess you’re still a little groggy from being woken up in the middle of the night.

“about earlier,” sae begins, not really sure how to continue.

“you mean the pics going around of you and kaori kissing?” you’re not even mad, you’re sure there’s an explanation—that’s how much you feel you know itoshi sae. he’s not the type to bother with leading someone on; if anything, he’s probably the type to immediately cut things off if he wasn’t interested and so far, he’s always been thinking of you.

sae sighs, rubbing his temple before taking a seat on his bed. “that was fucking stupid,” he grumbles, eyes closed. “she was way too tipsy and getting all up in my face and before i knew it she just—” his eyes are open now, briefly looking at you before looking away, hiding behind the sides of his soft locks, “she kissed me. i was stunned for a little so…”

you snicker a little, because sae looks so different from how he usually looks—aloof, ignorant, arrogant. now he looks like a puppy who’s been kicked to the side and you can’t help but notice the difference.

“sae… why are you telling me this?”

screw his indecisiveness, if it was in the first place. you want his answer now, up straight. and sae seems to know what you’re thinking because he chuckles, relieved because he can read your tone—you’re not angry, not upset, you trust him somehow and it’s only because despite what you think, you know him better than anyone else.

“fuck off, y/n, you already know,” and he says this affectionately because you can feel the tenderness in the way he says your name, in the way he invites you into his arms—the way he pulls you close and lets you sit facing him on his lap. “you gonna be my girlfriend now or what?”

your lips are so so close and you’re both holding back so so much. “mmm i don’t know, itoshi sae, what if i wanna see you beg me for it?”

“god, i hate you,” he says, without meaning it. it’s the first time you’re actually feeling how strong he is, because he lifts you up from the back of your thighs and throws you on his bed as he hovers over you, a little squeal leaving your lips at the unexpected gesture. “hm, kinda like that sound you make.”

he’s saying it so monotonously that you’re embarrassed. “shut up, sae, before i leave.”

“that’s cute, you think you’d actually leave me,” he teases, and you curse yourself for finding that slight condescending tone of his hot. “but hey, really, be my girlfriend.”

“you asking me that after kissing another girl?” you act shocked, acutely aware of how his fingers are all intertwining with yours, your hands on either side of your head, sae pinning you down. if anyone walked in now, they’d get the wrong idea of what you two are doing. for sure. but you try to act unbothered, you don’t want to boost his ego even more.

sae leans down to press his forehead against yours, and you’re hoping your heart doesn’t leap out of your chest because he’d definitely feel it. “shit timing, i know. but you’re the only one i want, so.”

he’s pretty shit at talking emotions, you realise. and then you realise that this only works because you’re equally good at reading his. despite his reluctance to talk emotions, he shows you how special you are, constantly.

many girls want him, but you’re the one he spends most of his time with. you’re the one with his actual clothes in your closet and his rings on your fingers. you’re the one sae kisses and willingly so, the only one who’s on his wallpaper reminding him of what he’ll have each time he comes home.

“i told kaori i liked you and no one else too,” sae continues explaining, though he really doesn’t need to. you listen anyway. “she got mad and stormed off but shit, i don’t care. only care about you.”

and he’s pretty forthcoming with his feelings when he wants to be and that’s enough for you. you squeeze his fingers lightly and smile at him.

you don’t have to hear any more to know.

“i love you too, itoshi sae.”

the way he marks you that night lets you in on everything you need to know.

UNIVERSITY: SENIOR YEAR

six years.

it’s been six years since you’d first had a crush on itoshi sae. and now you’re his girlfriend, always in the front row for every match and the object of most of his fangirls’ hatred. that’s okay though, none of that matters.

whenever you come back home to your (shared) apartment now, it’s like all your worries melt away into the void, and sae reminds you just how much you mean. even if his pet names are less than swoon-worthy at times.

“you really need to stop posting shit like this,” you deadpan, showing sae your phone screen. it’s a picture of you asleep in the morning, drooling on his bare shoulder.

sae blinks, acting coy like he always does. “what? it’s cute.”

“you’re insufferable, itoshi.”

sae ignores that, switching the subject. “hey, you have any goals for your twenties?”

you hum, pondering. “well, i guess if i could do what i want, i’d travel the world,” you pause, sitting up on the sofa and looking at him. “why?”

it’s the last year of university, and the both of you are finishing your degrees, with the possibility that sae might be getting a contract with one of the overseas clubs. you’re not really sure; there’s a few of them who’ve expressed interest, but you’d always let sae think through it on his own.

does his question have something to do with that?

“was thinking i wanted to take you along if you wanted to come with,” sae half explains, because he’s bad with details like that. he continues when he spots your confusion, “if you wanted to explore wherever i decided to go.”

oh, he means he wants to take you along to wherever he decided to go. you’re flattered, honestly.

“you mean, the itoshi sae wants to bring me wherever he goes, huh?” sae is already turning red, sensing your big head. “you offering to be my sugar daddy too?”

sae sighs. “you’re so stupid, i swear,” he complains, his words lacking any bite because he’s rubbing circles onto your arms. “you said you found some remote jobs right? thought we could make use of that and just go wherever together.”

after six years, you finally see sae trying to plan a future where the both of you are together. he loves soccer, but he loves you too, and you’re not the kind of person who’d make him choose, so you appreciate his compromises instead.

“itoshi sae, i’ll follow you wherever you go.”

he presses a hasty kiss on your lips, “good, ‘cause i plan on keeping you forever.”

you grin, pulling him down to you and kissing him even deeper, “i’ll hold you to your words, then.”

sae smiles against your lips. because he knows he got lucky with you, lucky you were there at the right moment, slipping your love letter into his locker. lucky you continued to like him, lucky you knew how to put him in his place whenever. lucky you’re you and you love him.

maybe he’s always liked you, even back in freshman year of high school when he realised how kind you are, how gentle you could be. you looked pretty in the sun that day, when he first saw you trying out soccer in the yard and falling flat on your ass. you didn’t notice him back then but he noticed you, not that you knew. sae didn’t try anything because he was sure it’d fail. but who knew all it took for his mind to change was a simple nudge from you?

he’s pretty sure that you’re his human manifestation of a forever.

“when the time comes, just say yes.”

12 minutes. that's how long it's been since you texted itoshi sae back. 12 whole minutes.

he frowns at his phone, glaring daggers at the poor innocent screen that's really done nothing wrong. he hopes you can feel his stare through the device. 12 minutes is a long, long time; what could you possibly be doing that could be more important than texting your boyfriend back?

he stares at the screen as time ticks on. 12 minutes becomes 12 minutes and 30 seconds. 40. 50. 55. 59. 13 minutes. now, that is entirely too long. but he can’t double text because he’s not that desperate, he thinks. (he is. but his ego is fragile.) so he opts to state some more. and then a little more after that.

at the 13 minute and 45 second mark, his hand hovers tentatively over the call button as he debates his next moves; would calling you make him look a fool? or would it perhaps save you from whatever kidnapper was trying to nab you, or alien trying to abduct you? because in sae’s book, those were the only viable reasons as to why you may not message him back right away.

he gives in and calls you. he counts every single ring until you finally, finally pick up: “sae? hello?”

a wave of tension melts off his bones, anxiety he hadn’t even realised was building. relief tastes good and minty on his tongue as he relishes the sound of your voice. how honey-sweet is always sounded whenever you said his name. he doesn’t even realise he’s verbally ghosted you until you ask, “is anyone even there?”

“yeah. i’m here.”

he doesn’t need to be there to see the expression on your face— you look annoyed, confused, miffed. so pretty, too, always pretty. he’s not whipped though. not whipped, not desperate. just a regular guy worried about his girlfriend. (he’s not that pathetic— right?)

“why are you calling me? what’s up?”

he feels petulant and whiny like a child when he speaks as levelly as he can, “you didn’t answer my text.”

he’s not desperate. and he’s not whipped. but you laugh over the phone, and sae feels himself falling, positively swooning like the sappiest little bitch in town.

“babe, my last text to you was ‘bye’. i had to drive.”

oh. he supposes that you’re right. embarrassment mixes with indignation mixed with unbridled affection as he grasps for straws, “i know. i just wanted to make sure you got there okay.”

he hears you snort a laugh on the other end of the phone and he’s melting again despite his unchanged appearance. his free hand thrums against the table he’s seated at as he hangs on your every word, movement, sound, action.

“sure. sure you did. and now that you know i’m okay, it’s cool if i hang up, right?”

he responds a little too quickly. “no. stay on the line.”

“why should i?”

he narrows his eyes. “don’t be difficult.”

“okay. i’ll leave, then—“

“wait.”

a pause. he speaks again: “i just want to talk to you. stay with me.”

you almost want to push more, to tease a bit. to make him say please. but your stomach is already churning like crazy and you’ve got a swath of butterflies in your chest and god, do you love him. so you just say, “okay.”

you hear the slightest smile in his voice when he replies. “thank you.”

itoshi sae is usually not desperate. he’s not whipped, he doesn’t say please, he doesn’t say thanks. but for you? he thinks he can change the rules, just a little, if that’s what it means to have you.

Hello hello~ Congratulations on 1k! I'd like to request two if that's okay?

Sae Itoshi — Forelsket (n.) - the euphoria experience when you first fall in love.

Michael Kaiser — Cafuné (n.) - running your fingers through the hair of someone you love. (Thought it'd be nice because of the old!Kaiser ahaha)

puzzle piece

you are now reading... LENA'S 1K MILESTONE EVENT FIC!

↳ itoshi sae + forelsket (n.) — the euphoria experience when you first fall in love.

synopsis: itoshi sae thought nothing could break the apathy inside his chest, but everything changed when he found himself falling in love with you.

notes: first of all, happy new year folks! i hope 2024 will be amazing for all of us, and to start off with the right foot, the first little fic of my event is here! with that being said: hello darling! thank you so much, and of course you can — i'll be posting sae's now and kaiser's later, okay? <3 hope you like it and thank you for requesting!

sae vividly remembers the first time his feet touched a football at the tender age of five. it was something curious and hesitant; as if he was scared his little body would trip and roll along the hill. but it was also like the piece of a puzzle finally fitting the right place when the ball rolled.

the feeling was the same when sae learned about football and scored his first goal — the ball flying in a perfect arch and entering the net as if it was only ever meant to be there. he was filled with the most intense excitement, pure happiness coursed through his veins, and sae just knew that was what he was meant for. 

this strange euphoria appeared in other moments as well, all related to football. when he first won a championship, when he was chosen as MVP of an important match, when he signed with real madrid and got his first jersey… all of these moments gave him further confirmation that that was what he was supposed to be doing. 

and then, things changed. his dream of becoming a striker was crushed at his very own feet, and football just started to lose meaning to the all mighty itoshi sae, japan’s prodigy. he no longer felt excitement or happiness when playing, and nothing in football felt like this puzzle piece fitting the right place. if he was being perfectly honest, it felt more wrong by the minute.

but just like everything changed when he came to spain, the world once again turned on its axis when sae first put his eyes on you. the wind was blowing on your hair and the sun made your pretty eyes shine with a golden layer. sae was never really the type of person who cared about romance or even thought about getting to know someone else, but just one glance was enough for him to want to know everything about you. 

what did you like? what did you hate? what hurt you? there were so many questions that the midfielder wanted to know the answer for, and moreso, he wanted all of these answers to be somehow related to him.

sae wanted to be someone you liked — loved even, if he was being selfish. he’d take away everything you disliked and would protect you from anything that could cause you pain. and knowing his usual stoic self was so eager for something someone else could give and represent brought back the familiar feeling of euphoria, with sheer exhilarance coursing through his veins every time your voice greeted him with a sweet hello.

falling in love with you was like falling in love with soccer and having the certainty that this was what itoshi sae was made for. hell, even if he never played a game again in his life, it felt like everything would be fine, because he would still be following his other life purpose: loving you again and again and again. euphorically. endlessly. perpetually. 

and when you kissed for the first time… 

well, the puzzle piece finally fit the right place once again.

© 2024 itoshiexx. do not plagarise, translate, or repost any of my work on here or other sites.

#get me a man who would look at me the same way Fang does at boi

I didnt realize how much fang gazes fondly at boi in the comic marketing till i see ur posts and oh my god he cannot stop

HE REALLY DOES this specific image is where its most obvious 😭😭 i could assure you fang is NOT looking at the butterfly

Different head canons and scenarios I like to think about in boifang.( Especially after they start dating)

- Fang is a clean and organized person who can't stand a messy room. While BBB is the most messiest in the group (he can't help, it just happens) so whenever Fang comes over to visit or stay, boboiboy makes a point to clean his room. Sometimes Fang comes early and helps him out.

- One of the things that Boboiboy could do and fang couldn't, is that BBB is a real good cook and Fang was capable of burning down the kitchen if he tries. But now that they are together, BBB teaching him how to cook and Fang sure is a fast learner.

- Fang is also a really good teacher, who does not loose his cool when tutoring BBB. ( He is perhaps the reason BBB got good grades in maths this semester but no one needs to know that)

- In reality, Boboiboy is a night owl. During this time he feels much more at peace and is able to concentrate more on whatever thing he is doing. He mostly goes to bed after 12pm. But Fang has a schedule for everything. He can't stay up for that long and mostly goes to bed at 10.30 to wake up 6 am sharp. He is also responsible for waking up boboiboy later. ( BBB likes to watch him sleep sometimes because that is perhaps the only time when fang seems so relaxed and peaceful)

- Between the two, fang is mostly the one who gets jealous easily when anyone trys to hit on BBB. ( He is not sure that whether he is jealous because there are still many people who find BBB handsome or the fact that this people are trying to hit on his boyfriend.)

- Boboiboy mostly doesn't notice when someone tries to flirt with him or fang( my man is too oblivious). But he sure gets possesive about fang sometimes when he finally notices

- Both of them aren't exactly the most the biggest fan of pda outside. Infact they both found just holding each other's hand as a huge accomplishment when they first started dating (yes they were that awkward with each other). But still, Out of them both, BBB is comparatively more touchy than Fang. He would randomly put his hand on Fang's shoulder or play with his shirt or when he feels bold then back hug him out of nowhere.

- Fang may not be as touchy as BBB but he has his own way of showing affection and that is through head pats and chin scratches. He mostly does this when he is proud of BBB or in a good mood or when he finds boboiboy cute. ( And BBB is absolutely living for it)

- Fang may not be the best singer back when they were young but time has passed and fang has gotten so good (BBB sometimes suggest that he should audition to be a idol or something). So whenever BBB spots fang playing the guitar or just randomly singing, he makes a point to try and record it to listen to it later. Sometimes he also sings along with him and it just turns out to be a whole concert in the end with both of them laughing.

Head empty, only Fang secretly playing his guitar and singing when Boi accidentally walked in on him singing <3

FANG'S JACKET ON BOI- I'M <33

sleepover

You know that comic that discontinued i blame @up-among-the-stars

Gopal:"Hey Fang, could you carry this box for me? It's super heavy!"

Fang:*picks up the box effortlessly*"Nothing is heavier than the weight of being alive!"

Gopal:"I'm equally impressed and concerned with you,Fang!"

Like son like father <3

Fang, but slicked his hair back

this is their dynamic

Watch me complain about Galaxy Kokotaim writing and immediately writing them my way-

Okay first of all, Yaya. She's literally too perfect. Which is just, no. Let her have flaws. Role models can have flaws ffs please. Back in the ori series, she's shown clearly to be quick to anger, let her have some anger issues? At least it's better than nothing. She's also shown to have abused her power as the literal school prefect, well that's still mixed with anger issues, do it. Let the others complain about her being too perfect. Let her be prone to anger.

And now Ying, my best girl.

WHY IS SHE A COPY OF YAYA???? HEY???? She's literally just Yaya, but with super speed? Wtf? Why's Yaya not discomforted by this? Where's the social awkwardness? Let her be loud and expressive with friends, but make her quiet and awkward around new people and allies pls. (not me self projecting onto Ying no sir/ma'am) .

Gopal. Gopal, Gopal, Gopal. He's pretty well rounded tbh, but he's just brushed to the side? My boy? In the ori series, he's literally clever? In his own way? He also can read people, he's literally the one who figured out how Boi's elementals came to be, hello???

Fang, absolute character assassination, I- Galaxy is literally just Fang slander. Sure, let him be dumb around the gang, but let him keep his cool mysterious image during missions? Like the whole Joekertu bit, Fang laughing at his name seems so ooc. Bc he never shares a laugh at enemies, that's literally not what he is? There's no way honestly, Kaizo would NEVER.

Boi. Boboiboy, he's a blank slate. The subtle character assassination, give him some sass, talk about his interests more, let his empathy be his flaw. Give him a personality, not the elementals, just Boboiboy. We want a personality, not a fucking pick me.

Don't get me on the Galaxy series as a whole.

Watch me complain about Galaxy Kokotaim writing and immediately writing them my way-

Okay first of all, Yaya. She's literally too perfect. Which is just, no. Let her have flaws. Role models can have flaws ffs please. Back in the ori series, she's shown clearly to be quick to anger, let her have some anger issues? At least it's better than nothing. She's also shown to have abused her power as the literal school prefect, well that's still mixed with anger issues, do it. Let the others complain about her being too perfect. Let her be prone to anger.

And now Ying, my best girl.

WHY IS SHE A COPY OF YAYA???? HEY???? She's literally just Yaya, but with super speed? Wtf? Why's Yaya not discomforted by this? Where's the social awkwardness? Let her be loud and expressive with friends, but make her quiet and awkward around new people and allies pls. (not me self projecting onto Ying no sir/ma'am) .

Gopal. Gopal, Gopal, Gopal. He's pretty well rounded tbh, but he's just brushed to the side? My boy? In the ori series, he's literally clever? In his own way? He also can read people, he's literally the one who figured out how Boi's elementals came to be, hello???

Fang, absolute character assassination, I- Galaxy is literally just Fang slander. Sure, let him be dumb around the gang, but let him keep his cool mysterious image during missions? Like the whole Joekertu bit, Fang laughing at his name seems so ooc. Bc he never shares a laugh at enemies, that's literally not what he is? There's no way honestly, Kaizo would NEVER.

Boi. Boboiboy, he's a blank slate. The subtle character assassination, give him some sass, talk about his interests more, let his empathy be his flaw. Give him a personality, not the elementals, just Boboiboy. We want a personality, not a fucking pick me.

Don't get me on the Galaxy series as a whole.