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A Different Perspective on the Warners' Ages

The actual age of the Warners has long been a topic of debate. Are they more children or are they more 90-year-olds? Some mixture of the two? My actual opinion has always been some mixture. They are physically and mentally children, but with 90+ years of life experience in their children brains.

But then I got thinking about it. Do they have 90+ years of life experience? For the vast majority of that time, they were either locked in a tower or in suspended animation. Is time spent in a possibly dark and empty tower really valuable as a life experience? Are they gaining any practical knowledge, are they learning anything, are they developing? Or are they just static?

Even if the tower has fun stuff in it, they're not really gaining much from riding a rollercoaster over and over again. They're not experiencing the world. They're not building up the experience that any other 90-year-old would have. If you take three human children and lock them up in a room until they're adults, they're not gonna come out of there acting like adults. They will still be children for all intents and purposes in their heads. They didn't develop.

If you only count the time the Warners were out of the tower, as far as them getting practical life experience and "aging" in a mental sense, then the picture changes significantly. They were created in 1929 and locked in the tower in 1934. That means they had 5 years of true life experience when they were locked away. They escaped for brief periods over the next 60 years, for a couple of weeks at a time at most. Maybe we can add a year for all those experiences total?

So, by the time they escaped from the tower in 1993, they were mentally 6. They were out and about until 1998 or 1999 if you go up to the time Wakko's Wish was released. That's 6 more years at most. When they were put in suspended animation, they were mentally 12.

They came back in 2020 and were around for 3 more years. This means that, at the beginning of the reboot, they were mentally 12, and by the end, they were mentally 15.

I think these numbers actually line up pretty well with how the Warners act in the reboot and how they seemed to develop both in the original series and the 2020 series. They were more like crazy children in the first episodes in the early 90's, became a little more grounded and cynical as that series went on, and act more like adults or teens in the reboot than they did before.

I'm not saying this was some intentional deep worldbuilding on the part of the writers. I'm just saying it makes sense.

I like to think that if Rapunzel ever met the Warners, she'd be VERY protective of them, since they were also locked in a tower for an extended period of time because they were different. And since she knows she'll never be trapped again, she'd be determined to make sure the Warners aren't either.

Finding out that they were trapped for 60+ years would make her track Plotz down with a frying pan.

I didn't know I needed this in my life. So precious 🥹

Wakko on a pig is everything I could have ever asked for 🥺💜

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I do all the time. Especially when I'm at work. Stories that will never see the light of day, but make me happy.