More Doodles Bc Lou Really Hurt My Feelings

more doodles bc lou really hurt my feelings

new taxonomic clade just dropped

battling a migraine to write this but it has to be said. that dimension 20 episode was a masterclass in storytelling, acting, roleplay, improv - everything. it was one of those episodes about life and loss and friendship and love that I already know I will come back to over and over and over again. and while every single misfit - lou, erika, danielle, brennan - knocked every scene out of the park, I'm sitting here in pure awe of aabria for each moment she created in that episode.

it was unreal. to weave something so gutpunching and beautiful and poignant and work with every choice the cast made and enhance and elevate every scene. I don't think in a hundred lifetimes I'd have the words to give justice to that brilliance and how every part of that episode hit me. and even at the end I thought to myself, okay, I could watch this thirty more times and get something new and meaningful out of it each time. because everything aabria did felt so cared for. everything felt precious and important.

and aabria's ability to bring out some of the best reactions I've seen from each of these players, especially lou, danielle, and erika??? reacting to the weight of it?? I had goosebumps. SO MANY TIMES. maybe it's weird to say but I was ecstatic to see these characters in such conflict because the acting???? THE ACTING????? Lou as Jammer and Danielle as Sam were soul-crushing in their grief and shock and it felt so real and hit so close to home. and god I cried when they did. and then Erika as K with this entirely separate shade of pain and grief which felt SO true to the helplessness and regret of losing someone you only wished to help. and finally Brennan as Evan and the struggle of facing his insecurities as they were in direct conflict of saving himself like. GOD I truly don't have the words. It feels like a gift to have witnessed it. I could write reactions to every single second of it. I'm going to watch it ten more times and cry some more idk idk

I really do feel blessed to have media that made me feel so deeply and so powerfully for 2 hours on a random wednesday night in my life. and that's because it was real magic.

im obsessed with this show already and it's only a single episode

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the responses to grief this episode. it's such a perfect encapsulation of these characters and what makes them compelling.

evan, dying and reaching for his shadow, not from a pure sense of want but from the obligation to his friends, from his need to be useful and protective, from his deep down desire to be loved and wanted but not relying on that. only pursuing the mission to anchor himself. shadowing sam and connecting with her as the one who could still look on him in her grief. asking for the answer to the perfect question with a restatement in the answer and getting a book that could erase all of his existence and everything that shaped the world as it is now.

jammer, compartmentalizing. holding it together. doing cpr, and when he can't get the body back up, finding a means of getting evan back. taking 30 seconds to weep with every ounce of grief and then getting on with the work. achieving a pinnacle of magic and channeling it into his connections with others and the fact that he is a lynchpin. that he is always giving to his community. having to be forced to rest and feel by an embodiment of truth within the universe.

sam, seeing evan die on her and feeling her way through it. feeling the grief. the only one to look at evan in his shadow and accept it. sharing her doubt in herself and the persona she wears even as she uses it to get them moving again. being the first to reach out to the coli, as she always is. wording her question so carefully to get the answer she needs because she does not have time to be tricked, whether by an entity or by her own mind.

k, breaking their wand and it still not being enough. never disconnecting from the network even as evan dies in front of her. going small and quiet, not acknowledging their part in the violence, nor ignoring it. feeling the resentment and anger directed towards her but not having the time to process or defend it. asking for a way to save everyone, save everything, as they turn their eyes toward truth, toward the truth of the coli, with a sense of wonder, of curiosity that has always driven her actions.