I Feel Sad For No Reason, Its Not That I Have It Bad I Just Feel Sad.

I feel sad for no reason, it’s not that i have it bad i just feel sad.

I have a great stepdad he doesn’t really hug and that stuff, but he’s great, and i love him.

My mom is also kind, and i love her, she sometimes take my money but she says she will give it back, so i trust her.

My siblings can be kind, but they can also be annoying as fuck. But i love them.

And im the oldest so i should set a great example, but i don’t think im a good example for my siblings.

And my mom had my youngest brother about 3-4 months ago, and she was a heavy smoker (she had smoked since she was about 13) and im really proud of her for quitting, but she went out and said she would probably start smoking again, and i don’t want that, because what if she dies? My dad can’t take care of us all, he’s barely home most of the time. So we would probably have to go to family.

And then one night when we were driving home she talked about drinking her stress away, and i got kinda upset, and told her we would probably be taken away from her if she would drink her stress/problems away. And were 5 siblings so we wouldn’t all go to the same place. And i said i would probably have to go to my biological dad (i don’t have the best relationship with him) and she said “you’re old enough to choose, so you don’t have to go there” and i know where i would go if that were to happen. But i got upset about the fact that she didn’t really take it as seriously as i did.

But i love my family, so i don’t want to have bad thoughts about them or our future but, i can’t help it sometimes..

My mom sometimes takes some of my money, saying she’ll give it back.

And my grandma is out of the country right now, so i was gonna buy something and ship it to her, and she would take it with her and give it to me. And i said to my mom that i wouls use some of the money she owed me. But she told me she didn’t have any money.. so i can’t buy the things i want. Because i don’t have any money on my card. And it’s really annoying because she borrowed alot of money from me a little while ago, and said she would give it back, but i still haven’t gotten the money back yet, and she keeps taking money from me, and puts it on a food account, and i feel bad about being mad, because she probably uses it for food for the family. But why does she have to take my money.. i work for that mo ey and then she just takes it.

I deep cleaned my room today, and i have had a trashbag in the corner of my room (with clothes) that i got from my aunt, a while ago, that I didn’t get to and just put it in the corner.

And I have not had the courage to move it in fear of spiders.

And i have a HUGE fear of spider, so i got my younger brother to help me move it, and there was a fat ass spider there😭 but i vacuumed that motherfucker🥳

And i don’t think I’ve felt this much relief before😭🙏