Um Ouch Lol

um ouch lol

I'm on an Empires Hermes brainrot, so here's some of my headcanons on the relationships of the the other Emperors have with the Child of Thunder. (they/them/their for Hermes)

Gem

Gem isn't too fond of children, but she is smitten with this one

Hermes loves her wings and is careful when she allows to touch them.

When she has the time, she'll regale them with stories of wonder, light and kingdoms of faraway lands and times as she flutters around with a faint glow.

They call her their Fairy Godmother due to this.

fWhip

He is endearingly called "Scrunkle fWhip", like how Mabel and Dipper call Stan their "Grunkle"

Of course our good ol' uncle scrunkle is smitten with the child as well.

He built them once an incredibly elaborate and fun rollercoaster which Hermes thoroughly enjoyed.

Hermes loves Snort.

Lizzie

Lizzie is sort of a... strange aunt figure to dear Hermes.

She drops by, tells them how cod and salmon are dangerous, and leaves all cat burglar-like.

For their birthday, she gives them some yarn. Which Hermes, the dear, bless them, graciously accepts.

On her part, because she knows it's a troll of a gift, she amasses enough willpower to use the yarn and not play with it and turn it into a nice cat sweater. (with some help from Katherine)

Scott

Scott is the type of friend that'll regale a child with the story of how their parents met.

Except he tells Hermes how they were magically brought into existence.

One story is Joel got, ahem, dizzy, after drinking so much... grape juice. He saw Sausage suddenly and through drunken god magic spawned the dear child.

Another one is Sausage took a bath at the Lore Fountain for the lolz, and when Joel did some lore there, Hermes was made. A gross one admittedly.

Hermes' favorite is when Joel and Sausage first met at spawn, they instantly felt something between them. Not an attraction per se, just... Something. And that something brought about Hermes.

Jimmy

Our toy sheriff tends to give the best hugs, that's what Hermes thinks. That's what makes him their godfather. (insert Codfather reference here)

They don't know why exactly, but Jimmy just sort of feels like, that's what he was made for, to bring comfort to a child.

Jim also teaches Hermes to respect the law, of course.

Jim gives them an honorary deputy badge because of how much Hermes respects the law.

Pix

Pix loves the little tyke.

Hermes tends to get involved and help out with lore preservation and pranking, helping place glass and such.

Especially the calcite prank.

Hermes loves the Emerald Fountain and always asks one of their dads to take them their when they find emerald ore.

Katherine

Katherine, with Joel and Sausage's express permission, takes Hermes monster hunting with her in Glimmer Grove.

She says it'll be good practice for their god powers.

It is.

Hermes is a natural, vaporizing mobs left and right.

They also love watching Kathrin transform. They have stars in their eyes a la Steven Universe.

Joey

Pirate Joe doesn't get to see Hermes often.

But he always brings the best gifts.

Pirate hats, treasure chests, prismarine.

Joey, Sausage, and Hermes once got to sail across the Ocean, with Hermes getting a chance to steer, with Joey's guidance.

Joel helped them escape a fight with Skeletrons by sending winds their way.

Shelby

Shelby always speaks with Hermes through telepathy nowadays, which they greatly appreciate.

She tends to send them funky potions, that are mostly harmless.

They mostly turn the stripe in his hair different colors.

Shelby doesn't try much magic around them in fear of messing stuff up and hurting them.

False

False is super awkward around Hermes, since she and children don't mesh well, but she tries to be cool, and failing

However, she did send them a wind up toy of an iron golem, that Hermes loves.

Literally I got Scott calling a poppy an ugly flower and five minutes later being a flirt with Jimmy---

I'm not mad about it, I actually want more--

@smal1etho had a great vision

HE IS NOT A BARBIE GIRL NOR IS HE IN A BARBIE WORLD

Ok this is not fandom related at all but my cat has been missing for two months and today we found her and I’m so happy