BE EVIL AND KILL AND KILL AND KILL AND THEN DIE MISERABLY

BE EVIL AND KILL AND KILL AND KILL AND THEN DIE MISERABLY

WHITEPINE

violence? WOOO!! lifesteal.

so, you heard about a silly little server called lifesteal. maybe u wanna try watching it. well what if i told u that we here at lifestealblr have put together a helpful guide to help you succumb to the poisons start watching the server?? join us we are very normal

so! lifesteal! first, a summary. lifesteal is a server where when u die, you lose a heart off your permanent health bar. when you kill another player you gain a heart. heres a list to sum it up:

dying loses you a heart

killing someone else gains you a heart

losing all your hearts = dead and gone from the series, unless youre revived

you can revive dead players through gay sex crafting a special item

you can withdraw hearts from your healthbar and give them to other players

still have questions? heres a better explanation. ok moving on

lifesteal smp has FOUR seperate seasons so far!! the players are the same, give or take a few people. so, where to start?

first, you don't need to watch the seasons in order. you don't need to know anything about previous seasons to watch lifesteal. start with whatever season you want!! that being said, i'd advise starting on season three or season four (the current season) as they are the most popular.

anyways, if you want to just start watching: here is the link to the playlist containing every lifesteal video on youtube, seasons 1-4 here is the link to the playlist containing every season 3 lifesteal video here is the link to the playlist containing every season 4 lifesteal video

[thank you to @a4g and @aroaceacacia for creating and maintaining the lifesteal s1-4 & lifesteal s3 and the lifesteal s4 playlists, respectively]

HOWEVER

if you'd like to start out slow, pick one lifestealer and start watching them!! honestly, the best way to get into it is just to find a guy (or ten) that you like watching and watch their videos!

a note- i am tagging the user who created each propaganda post so that if people change their urls, you will still be able to find the post. theyre definitely NOT the lifestealers themselves lol. also, some of these are not finished! however this has been sitting in my drafts for six months and i need to post it for my own mental health

i should make this a google docs actually. might do that sometime if i get motivation. but anyways, without further ado:

looking for redstone? mrcube (@tater-noodle)

want to feed the adhd? no rlly if u want adhd fuel watch ashswag (@cherubium)*

ever wanted to see capitalist technoblade? reddoons (@bearandhoney-com)

do you want a new cringefail streamer? itzsubz (@rendogdomesticated)

what about a paranoid escape master? rekrap (@vanivanvanilla)

loyalty and storylines to get invested in? leowook (@totallynotrico)

everyone's favorite special little guy? planetlord (@getwoold)

want gay people or pranks? then go watch branzy (@pacificseaotter)

the server's best PVPer? clownpierce [NEEDED] (NOT TAKEN)

1/3 of a whole idiot on a permanent YouTube grind? baconwaffles (@aroaceacacia)

local bird man done with everyone's shit? parrot (@getwoold)

the local funky hand guy? roshambo (@techno-in-a-boat)

background character incarnate? poafa (@simply-scrolling)

the special little guy who can and will kill you? spepticle (@cogmented)

quirky smiley guy who'll kill you? princezam (@vanivanvanilla)

incomprehensible violence! mapicc! (@cogmented)

sillay liddol guy? Creechur™️? pangi [NEEDED] (NOT TAKEN)

DRAGON GUYY!!! vortexdragon. (@vanivanvanilla)

lifesteal's local polar bear? woogie (@tater-noodle)

stuborrn, endearing guy who likes a challenge? jaron (@aroaceacacia)

cringefail foxboy streamer? vitalasy (@rendogdomesticated)

the walking pride flag guy? spoke (@a4g)

"annoying little brother" but endearing? mcclutch!! (@simply-scrolling)

chaotic rascal who loves doing events? midmystic!! (@xxswagcorexx)

awesome visuals and serious storylines? terrain!! (@cherubium)

*my girlfriend's favorite lifestealer and approved by multiple friends of mine with adhd. i really do recommend him just in general.

also, please do go check out the blog of everyone who helped me with this, they're all amazing!!!

have been very behind on the lore but i think this is what kab, red, and hannah have going on according to the few things i know of it

PROPAGANDA:

Eclipse Federation:

i dont like them. they ruined my life. Subz and Vitalasy had already partnered in previous seasons but this one, Vitalasy ended up leaving for a few months, leaving Subz alone, and Zam ended up getting close to him after immense trauma at the hands of his former teammates. Zam has done SO many wrongs, including to Subz himself and Subz STILL took him in and made him join Eclipse Federation after Zam died 14 times in a row and got banned then revived by the same player who's been killing him all this time. And it could've been perfect but no, Zam had betrayed his previous team due to them using dupes via exploits, and now Eclipse Federation ALSO has exploits! And he decided that yeah his morals were more important than being loved! And so he murders Vitalasy when he's at his most vulnerable point, lets everyone gaslight him into thinking Vitalasy is an irredeemable evil monster who will never change, even as Vitalasy SAID he was ready to change before the betrayal even happened, Eclipse threw out their whole revenge plans because of Zam's positive influence and he just broke everything. Subz couldn't be with Zam but also couldn't see himself at Vitalasy's side, leaving him alone. Vitalasy hated Zam and yet never killed him or hunted him down, despite Zam acting like he did. And when Vitalasy left, banning himself off from the server, Zam had some time alone to think and realized he fucked up SOOOO bad. And Subz revived Vitalasy and told him to kill him. And ban him. His last wish. His Deliverance. And to make up with Zam. And Vitalasy tried, and they kind of did make up over Subz's death, but then Zam was like "actually im going to kill everyone and destroy the server now. because i want subz back and also because i always do extremely drastic things when i don't need to because i have unchecked mental illnesses i refuse to get help for". And surprisingly when Subz came back he didn't like that! And they ended in tragedy! Eclipse is fucked up. It's a trio that's always about the absence of one person, it's a team that could only happen in one timeline and it was doomed from the very start. But the love was there. It made everything worse, truthfully. But it was there. And that matters. Also as a fun fact Zam himself on twitter has referred to eclipse as a throuple, which is not canon but that's pretty funny. he also stated on stream he didn't want to get therapy because it'd ruin his lifesteal character. and there was a saga where they would "marry" (challenge lost kinda shenanigans) and zam was the only one happy about it. he's not normal. there's something wrong with him. love that for him though sorry for the block of text. I really dislike them. They're my beloveds :3

Big Eyes Crew:

best gas station owners you've ever seen

they started a business together and had beef with Boatem where Tango built a giant eyeball over their base which dispensed ravagers onto them. also they're called Big Eye Crew because Keralis and Bdubs both have massive eyes on their skins but Tango DOESN'T so he made big round red glasses for them all to wear and they're iconic frankly.

SILLY GUYS DOING SILLY THINGS

They made a gas station franchise so powerful there was a location on the moon

Does The Lifesteal SMP Eat Playdoh?