After MONTHS Of Beating Myself Up That I Didnt Finish The Fanfic In The Desired Time (i Was Overwhelmed

after MONTHS of beating myself up that i didn’t finish the fanfic in the desired time (i was overwhelmed by sm stuff so i don’t know why i added sm pressure onto myself) i actually realized last night how happy i am with what i have written so far :D

where were you and what were you doing when the queen died. i was just sitting here

here is the last bit I’ve written of the new chapter for anyone actually waiting:

“You—both of you—must think I have forgotten the terms of this agreement, or that I haven’t noticed how easily you ignore them. Where is your guard at the moment, hm?”

Jens went to speak through the panic clogging his throat, but Lucas beat him to it. “The ones posted outside the door are very aware that I’m here. They know who I am. All your guards do. Though I’m sure, in this case, they’re perfectly unnecessary. Both His Highness and yourself are more than capable of taking care of yourselves, in the case that I did pose a threat, but I would have hoped by now you have gained some assurance that I am not.”

“Why exactly would you think that?”

“Because I have had every opportunity to harm your son and I have not,” Lucas said plainly. Jens didn’t think that was the best argument, and his panic thickened by the second. Then Lucas looked over at him, and he realised something. Lucas may not have been waxing the best plea for himself, but he was being completely earnest. There was no hint of his usual snark or sarcasm, no glimpse of his steely defiance in his expression. In fact, it was open and warm—as if Lucas wasn’t thinking about crafting an argument for himself at all, but simply, for once, stating how he truly felt. “It may surprise myself as much as it would surprise you, but I have in fact come to the understanding that I would first take the opportunity to protect him from any harm, if I could.”

He might have been still speaking to Ellis, but he was still looking at Jens.

plus a hint of what is likely to be my favourite scene in the whole fic, which I haven’t actually written yet but have jotted some things down for:

“You deserve to have everything you want.”

whoever is writing my life has got mad writers block bc wtf am i doing

alternate universe - childhood best friends to lovers

jens, lucas and jana were inseparable best friends- until the day lucas moves away to utrecht with a cold shoulder. thinking that he'll never come back, they figured his sudden emotional distance would remain a mystery forever.

until one day, he does come back and they try to figure out what really happened.

(late upload- but don’t miss out! it’s got angst, pining, angry declarations of love and even a sharing the bed trope!)

fanfic link: sunroof by apolloswords

okay y’know what you can HAVE THIS:

“Maybe right now you don’t feel what you want to for Jana, but you can’t be sure you never will. There is love between you. Maybe if you let it, it would feel like enough.”

Jens looked at him, because Lucas wasn’t looking back, and he thought, maybe if I let it, this would feel like enough.

But it wasn’t. It never would be.