SCHLIMAZEL [ PROLOGUE ]

SCHLIMAZEL [ PROLOGUE ]

Above is the book teaser, please watch in full 4kHD and turn on subtitles! (English, Russian and Spanish are available!) Here is the link, if you prefer to watch it on the youtube app/web.

summary: this prologue is basically going to be a brief back story of Y/N so that you'll understand future references as you continue to read the book.

pairings: idol bts ot7 x female reader

genre: idol au | mental health au | heavy angst | romance | tragedy | slice of life | fluff

warnings: mentions of medical disabilities, and slight verbal bullying.

tag list: @kimana122, @borahae-reads, @lalavione1309, @luvsbngtn, @tetehearts, @babybunli, @xanny91 (the tags that are strikethrough could not be tagged)

complete the form if you want to be part of the tag list.

masterpost | intro + characters | chap 1

copyright © 2022 by kumiko. all rights reserved. my works or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without express written permission from me except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

sau·da·de an intense melancholic longing for something or someone that one cares about and/or loves. Additionally, it often conveys the repressed realization that the subject of longing may never be obtained again.

Looking back on your childhood years before the pre-teen stage, you thought that you never truly had a "challenging" or "difficult" life. However, you must admit that it wasn't the most ideal sobering realization that you weren't always favored by everyone, even within your family and among your "friends" at the time. And that's because you and they both knew that others were just better than you, making you feel as if you were an outcast.

It was true, your medical condition did limit you, restricting you from doing and experiencing some of the things that a normal healthy child can.

Being born with epilepsy and unilateral hearing loss was the perfect combination for reminding you that every kid you met or saw was either a step or a long way ahead of you. Because of your epilepsy, you had to tread cautiously in almost all activities as a child. Even though no one said it, you felt like a ticking time bomb.

It was a long list of things that could set you off, and it forced you to avoid those situations, no matter how minor. It included naming a few, mental and physical stress, fatigue, dehydration, low blood sugar, flashing lights, high fevers, and menstruation. Can you believe that? Menstruation can possibly set you off—when that's normal for a female, and something you can't completely control.

Even with unilateral hearing loss, you couldn't enjoy playing in the water as much as you would like because you only have one good ear—which is sad because you live on an island surrounded by water. However, the doctors strongly advised against taking any chances. It was either wearing an ear plug or not go plunging your head in the water with your other family members.

To be honest, you felt embarrassed, and you had difficulty answering the commonly asked questions, such as why do you always wear that? Does it hurt when you wear it? It got to a point where you refused to get into the water for a while to avoid the needless attention. And that made you feel slightly better.

But it didn't last because you remember being at a family game party at a beach park, and at the end of the celebration, all the kids and young teens were invited to play in the grass with water balloons and water guns. Your parents weresoclose to allowing you to join them until theimpeccabletiming of the rain began, and they flatly refused your pleas to join them.

And, to top it all off, having these disabilities, as the doctors called them, was a golden opportunity for you to be teased and humiliated by some of your peers and even close family members, such as your older brother and three older cousins. That's how you realized you weren't one of those people who everyone liked. You will always be deemed 'different' since you are unable to do such simple things at their age.

Their hurtful comments always replay in your head.

'You're such a retard.'

'Shut up, you're dumb anyways, don't you know?'

'It's no wonder you're like that, it's cause you have scars on your brain.'

Even though there was some skepticism that the last sentence was true, it nonetheless wounded you deeply. But of course, a part of you believed it, knowing how frequently you went to doctors and hospitals to track the effects of your diagnosis on your brain. To you, the doctor's office and hospitals basically became your second home considering the number of times you would visit it within just a year.

You remember holding back your tears and trying to swallow that burning sensation in your throat when your older brother said those words to you. You tried— keyword 'tried'— so hard to maintain an unfazed appearance in front of everyone, then went into private to call your mother. But as soon as she answered the phone, your sobs erupted. You recall asking her, in between hiccups, if you really did have brain scars. That's how much their insults affected you. Plus you were only seven when it happened.

To your momentary relief, she assured you that this was not the case. It wasn't the first time you'd called or left a voicemail informing your parents about the bullying from your family, and it didn't help that they would brush it off and excuse them, telling you they were probably just playing around with you. Playing around with you? It didn't feel like that. Instead of finding solace, your parents' remarks merely led you farther down the path of self-hatred and loathing.

Why couldn't you be like the other kids? Why did you have to be the one with the chronic medical condition that also made you feel like a financial burden to your parents (given being on medication for most of your life)?

Perhaps that's why, when you were welcomed into your first all-girl friend group, you started to feel more secure about yourself, seeing how they were so accepting of your condition and you as a person. They were only a few years older than you, but they made you feel like you could be yourself, and they were like the older sisters you never had.

The same applies to your first early high school crush. You befriended him so quickly and soon fell into the puppy-like love relationship, which elevated your self-esteem even more, since after all those years of rejection and hurt, you believed you were now loved and favored by someone in general.

But falling into that puppy-like love so fast and so early, at the tender age of fourteen, when you barely started your high school life, was sure to crumble sooner or later. All of your friends warned you about it and him, but you disregarded them all because you've never known what it's like to be wanted by someone. You also ignored it because you were young, which meant you were naïve. And you were blinded by prior mistreatment, that distorted your judgment.

Now, at the age of nineteen, looking at your current situation, you've returned to square one. Not only did you feel self-hatred and loathing, but also the overwhelming guilt for not listening to your dear friends.

You should've known... Should've known, that love like that... The love you desired merely took away the precious remaining years of your youth that you could have lived out without feeling like you had one hand tied behind your back. The love that slowly and surely devolved into an on-and-off destructive dynamic and squandered the remainder of youth years, which you could've spent like the others in high school, exactly as you wished throughout your elementary years.

The love that left you mentally and emotionally hurt as well as, unexpectedly and worst of all, physically hurt. That's when you understood that love didn't help you find peace within yourself, and even if you did, it was only temporary.

To make the long story short, you were simply too young when you took a lot of crap from unfair people. And you were only able to gain that internal peace you longed for, after learning it from seven men you found yourself particularly drawn to. And, coincidentally, they're the same men who saved you.

masterpost | intro + characters | chap 1

Ngl I basically ranted my feelings on here... LOL anyways, I hope that wasn't too confusing for any of you. And I hope you guys will enjoy this story, thanks for reading.

Also if you're on a computer, i suggest you use this google chrome extension called "InteractiveFics". What it does is replaces "Y/N" with your name, which you will have to type in. It really helps to feel more connected to the story. Here is the link to the extension.

AUTHOR THIS 1ST CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD OMFG

AHH REALLY?! I’m super glad many of you like the first chapter of schlimazel so far! I’ve had this story idea for a while and when I was reading it over repeatedly I was so nervous as to how people will like it but you and others’ comments make me happy!

Please continue to look forward for more! And have a happy day/night wherever you are! 💜💜

writing reminders

it's ok to write only for yourself

it's ok to not share your writing with the world

it's ok to want validation

it's ok to write self-indulgent stories

it's ok to write only one genre

it's ok to share your writing regardless of your skill

it's ok to praise your own writing

it's ok to abandon wips

it's ok if you don't write every day

it's ok if you write fanfiction (because people who claim it isn't real writing is wrong)

it's ok to use clichés

it's ok to have a bad day of writing

it's ok to be a slow writer

it's normal to have days in which you doubt the things you write, that doesn't mean you're a bad writer

it's ok to ask for feedback

it's ok to cringe at your old writing

it's ok to hype up your writing online

it's ok to celebrate your achievements

TOUCH [ INTRO + CHARACTERS ]

DISCLAIMER

Everything written in this fanfiction/book is entirely fictional and the author's imagination put into words. Do not take everything in this book seriously.

While real names of real people, events, and places are mentioned, they are only used fictionally. It does not accurately reflect the reality of the said people.

This is only for entertainment purposes and is not meant to glorify anything. I do not condone any of the violent or vulgar actions depicted in this book.

This book also contains violence, strong language, mature scenes, and other content that may be sensitive to some readers.

Reader discretion is advised. tag list: @juju-227592, @drunkzseok, @yourgirlcin, @babybunli, @xanny91, @bibetsa, @borahae-reads, @lalavione1309, @luvsbngtn, @tetehearts, @singukieee, @serendididy, @quixoticbittersweet, @iriaachan, @jksisbunntboy, @missseoulite (the tags that are strikethrough could not be tagged)

complete the form if you want to be part of the tag list.

masterpost | one

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Y/N aka Weapon 007 Age: 19 Experimented Muliebral Weapon

(Y/N's eyes glow purple when she activates her abilities or when she experiences strong emotions like fear, sadness, anger, lust...)

Abilities: Power Touch: Pain Inducement & Transference, Intuitive/Tactile Empathy, Enhance Recovery Inducement and Self-Healing, + more coming soon ;). *btw if y'all don't know what some of these are, just search it up and type "powers" at the end LOL*

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Jeon Jungkook aka Delta Age: 23 Member of the Bangtan Boys Role: Martial Arts Mastery/Expert Combatant

Abilities: Criminology intuition, interrogation intuition, intimidation mastery, tactical analysis, combat adaptation, weapon proficiency, torture mastery, peak-human condition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, surveillance intuition, tracking, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses.

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Kim Seokjin aka Shadow Hacker Age: 27 Member of Bangtan Boys Role: Mission Control/Tech Support

Abilities: Computer operation mastery, tracking, surveillance intuition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, criminology intuition, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses, master engineer, expert tailor, biochemistry/forensics, tactical analysis, genius-level intellect, information brokering mastery, peak-human condition, combat adaptation, weapons proficiency, expert medic.

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Park Jimin aka Casanova Age: 25 Member of Bangtan Boys Role: Master Seducer

Abilities: Criminology intuition, interrogation intuition, intimidation mastery, tactical analysis, weapons proficiency, combat adaptation, peak-human condition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, surveillance intuition, tracking, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses.

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Kim Namjoon aka Black Mamba Age: 26 Leader of the Bangtan Boys Role: Tactical genius

Abilities: Criminology intuition, interrogation intuition, intimidation mastery, tactical analysis, combat adaptation, weapon proficiency, torture mastery, peak-human condition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, surveillance intuition, tracking, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses.

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Min Yoongi aka Oranyan Age: 27 Member of the Bangtan Boys Role: Master Manipulator

Abilities: Criminology intuition, interrogation intuition, intimidation mastery, tactical analysis, combat adaptation, weapon proficiency, torture mastery, peak-human condition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, surveillance intuition, tracking, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses.

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Kim Taehyung aka Snake Eyes Age: 25 Member of the Bangtan Boys Role: Marksmanship & Weapons Master

Abilities: Criminology intuition, interrogation intuition, intimidation mastery, tactical analysis, combat adaptation, weapon proficiency, torture mastery, peak-human condition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, surveillance intuition, tracking, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses.

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Jung Hoseok aka Foxglove Age: 26 Member of Bangtan Boys Role: Kinesicist & Profiler

Abilities: Criminology intuition, interrogation intuition, intimidation mastery, tactical analysis, combat adaptation, weapon proficiency, torture mastery, peak-human condition, disguise mastery/social cloaking, surveillance intuition, tracking, infiltration mastery, fact perception, urban intuition, honed senses.

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masterpost | one

‎ A/N: btw their code names will be explained later in the book as well as 007's powers in a more detailed manner. other characters might also be mentioned in this book, but they will be minor characters with very few scenes. Anyway, hope y'all will enjoy this book and are just excited as I am!

SCHLIMAZEL MASTERPOST - IDOL! BTS X F! READER

if you wish to be part of the tag list for this story, complete the form. also, this book is rated 18+ (minors do NOT interact) as this book involves significant concerns about mental health and context that may be disturbing to some readers.

summary: [ schlimazel - a consistently unlucky person. ] you surely did not imagine encountering the individuals you admire most while beaten and bruised. yet, it ironically became the beginning of an unforeseen and beautiful friendship that unknowingly evolved beyond that.

"You don't have to be slitting your wrists to know you're suicidal Y/N!" He shouted. "You're so careless with your life like it has no meaning!"

Your fists tightened. "Well, maybe it doesn't! Ever thought about that!"

a story about acceptance and emotional longing.

pairings: idol bts ot7 x female reader

genre: idol au | mental health au | heavy angst | romance | tragedy | slice of life | fluff

warnings: mental health, mentions of violence, abuse, rape, medical disabilities, blood, guns, attempted su!cide, major character death.

[ ✭ = chap includes triggers ]

intro + characters

prologue (must read) - wc: 1K+

summary: this prologue is basically going to be a brief back story of Y/N so that you'll understand future references as you continue to read the book.

stage one - tragedy

chapter one - wc: 10k+

summary: during the dead of the night, you come across a crime that leaves bitterness in your mouth, prompting you to act recklessly yet valiantly against it and the perpetrators. unfortunately, your escape could only last for so long before you’re confronted, but coincidentally, seven particular men happened to drive by, and one of them refused to ignore such a horrific spectacle.

author i hope you had a good christmas !

hi babes! thank you so much! i hope you enjoyed christmas, too! and have a happy new year everyone! <3🥰