Jaemin Au Recos

jaemin au recos

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written in ink genre - fluff | angst | historical au word count | 15.3k words

morning with haechan *ੈ✩‧₊˚

🌻✨🌙🌿☁

pairing : idol haechan x f reader.

genre : tooth rutting fluff, domestic, established relationship.

summary : to be very straightforward, this was inspired by his ig live in hongkong.

word count : 1648 words.

warnings : reader has period cramps, make-out session, suggestive.

a/n : i wrote this mainly for myself 😔 i love haechan so much 😭

masterlist

if there is a way you could translate the perfect morning, it’d be the way haechan always wraps his arms securely around your body, holding you close to him. it would translate into the way he nuzzles his cute nose into the deepest crook of your neck and breathe in your scent calmly before he opens his eyes. it would be the way he hums softly as his hair tickles your nape and his eyes would notice the goosebumps that would prickle your skin.

but this time, your perfect morning doesn’t seem so perfect anymore when you wake up with atrocious cramps eating out at your lower belly. you can’t open your eyes as you try to control your breathing, your frail fingers catching on haechan’s to ease the pain, or barely try to as it gets stronger.

you curse inside your head and prepare yourself mentally for the hell of a week that’s ahead of you. before an accident would occur, you gently peel yourself away from haechan’s strong grip and hurry to the bathroom. with a deep sigh, you quickly put on a pad and go back to the warmth of the bed.

haechan’s eyes are still closed as he senses you back beside him and without wasting a second, he fumbles around the sheets to wrap his arms around you again, squeezing you into a hug and stretching his body at the same time. you instantly snuggle into his neck before guiding your lips to the mole sitting just below his neck and kissing it gently.

“good morning,” he softly whispers, voice gruff and still dripping with sleep. his morning voice never ceasing to give you butterflies deep inside your tummy.

you hum in response when his fingers start dancing around your lower back, gently massaging your achy muscles. you feel comfortable beside him and your body always seems to feel lighter whenever he’s cuddling into you.

“do you have practice this morning?” you ask with your eyes closed. haechan smiles down at you, a hand still massaging your back while the other slithers inside your hair. his fingers deliver the most tender touches around your ear, the gestures helping you relax even more and melt into him like a burning candle.

you secretly wish he’d have a late start of the day today, just so you can stay glued to him all morning.

“do you want me to stay longer with you?” haechan smiles, his eyes squeezing shut in the process.

your response is just you snuggling closer to his body, your legs wrapping around his.

“hm, clingy girl?” he chuckles as he ruffles your hair, waiting for a verbal answer this time.

you deeply breathe his scent that’s drifting to your nose with everything movement of his body. placing another gentle kiss to his neck, you hum. “yes, i want you to stay longer. don’t want you to leave me just yet.”

“okay baby, anything for you,” his thumb dances on your face, the pad kneading around your forehead, temple and the space between your ear and cheek.

“you’re gonna cancel practice?” you pop your eyes open, lifting your face to come closer to his.

“you know i can’t do that, baby,” he pouts, kissing the bridge of your nose before kissing your lips. “but it won’t hurt if i go a bit late.”

you can’t hide your disappointment but you also can’t be greedy while dating an idol. you try to wipe the pout of your face and end up smiling up at him. a stubble has started to from on his chin, giving him a vary sexy look and his lips are beautifully puffy and so kissable, hypnotizing you into pushing your arm up from the sheets and placing your fingers on his pillow-like lips. on instinct, he pressed the tip of his tongue on the corner of his mouth before biting his lower lip and giggling at your sweet actions.

with the pad of his finger still caressing your cheek and yours running through his lower lip, you couldn’t believe that this is true. how he’s here by your side and he loves you way too much for his his own good. and you…your whole existence now has meaning with his name written all over the corners of your body and mind, with touches and kisses and words and hugs imprinted on the map of your skin that he knows oh so well.

you’re not afraid of being an open book to him because he’s so gentle and generous with you. he knows you so well and you don’t mind it one bit. and the same goes for him. he’s never afraid to be vulnerable with you and to unveil his deepest thoughts and feelings because he knows that you’d always have his back, and would love him the way he deserves.

“i’m so in love with you, i can physically feel it.” you confess, taking haechan by surprise.

“yeah?” he whispers, the corners of his lips stretching into a wide smile. with his thumb traveling down to caress your lips, his face gets closer to yours before he places the tenderest, most gently powerful kiss on your lips. your heart skips two beats at a time as he seems to take you into a place far from reality with only his lips dancing around yours.

his soft lips push into yours and mold together to create the perfect pace. your fingers grip his waist, legs pulling him closer into you as if it’s possible to merge into one. your body exudes warmth that can burn his bones down to ashes down your feet, but you would bring him to life over and over again with just one pinch of your fingers. haechan’s heart drums crazily over the curves of his ribcage as his fingers take their usual path to lodge into the swell of your hips, and going down to strongly grip on your butt.

the smallest yet most sinful whine escapes the back of your throat as you arch your back into him, your chest pressing into his, nipples hotly poking his naked chest and igniting a speedy rush of blood to pump angrily down his bundle of nerves. haechan’s breathing quickens and he latches on your lips as if it’s his last mission.

he makes you feel good with everything he does, from his passionate kisses to his sensual touches, he’s got your small heart full of him. and with one last bite on your lower lip, he gently pulls away with it still between his teeth, before it bounces back to its place, a visible thread of saliva stretching between your mouths.

“can you feel it now?” he breathes, hard on top of you. “how much i love you?”

your hazy eyes gaze at each other as if you guys were up in the clouds, your chests rise and fall through a crazy rhythm with fingers still gripping into each other because you can’t get enough.

“more.” you whisper.

“more?” haechan chuckles, pecking your lips softly. “more what, baby?” he tilts his head to the side, his childish side quickly making an appearance after he has just managed to swipe you off your feet, not quite literally since you guys were laying down on the bed.

“i can feel it more now,” you guide his hand to place it on top of your trembling heart, and he smiles proudly at that. “and i always want more of you, haechan. always, always, always.”

“i’m always yours baby, and you can take whatever you want from me, i’m all yours.” his arms wrap around you, giving you the warmest hug before softly pulling away.

“i’ll be back in a sec.” he quickly retreats from your embrace before getting back to bed with a tissue in his hand. you look at him confused before he starts wiping the droplets of sweat that have gathered on top of your cupid’s bow and all around your neck.

your heart swells at his actions and you can’t help the smile from reaching your lips as you notice the pout forming on his mouth from concentrating on wiping your sweat away from your skin.

“are you having bad cramps?” haechan asks, worrisome visible on his face. “you’re sweating so much…” he trails off, voice softening towards the end.

“yes,” you answer, only now realizing the state you’re in. “but you made me forget about them,” you smile tenderly at him.

“i love you so much,” he wraps both his hands around your face, before kissing your forehead. “my strong girl. let me go grab some painkillers for you, hm?” he kisses your forehead again.

you nod your head at him with a smile on your face. you see his silhouette disappear behind the door of the bedroom before you turn to lie on your back. the butterflies inside your tummy getting wilder by the second, with every kind touch and word coming from haechan, you seem to only drown in his love even deeper, especially when he knows what’s wrong with you without you saying anything to him.

you deeply inhale from your nose, when you see him enter the room again, a cup of water and painkillers in hand.

“here,” he helps you sit up, pulling your body up with a hand gently placed on the back of your neck. he then grabs the cup of water and guides it to your lips, smiling at you until you take a sip. “there you go.”

“thank you.”

“anything for my baby,” he smiles before turning his attention to the window behind you. “it seems like it’s gonna rain this morning, how about we put on a movie of your choice?”

“sounds like a perfect morning then.”

and with that, period cramps are long forgotten, and your perfect morning is back again.

back and better.

a/n : this was supposed to be a small haechan drabble…i got carried away SO MUCH!! but blame haechan, don’t blame me 😔 i hope you enjoyed what i wrote, please reblog if you did🫶🏼 my heart is still beating so fast!!🤭

lee donghyuck: ⏰ caring ·˚ ༘ ‧₊

𝐚𝐝𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 💌 take care of yourself! a quick little blurb that came into mind for those who have been working hard! take breaks!

lee donghyuck/reader : two hard working trainees. a good hearted donghyuck who is caring a warm.

[3:20 am] you’ve been in the practice room since the beginning of the day. practicing for as long as you physically could. dance after dance, song after song. you were tired. but you weren’t allowed to admit that until you just physically can’t take another step. it really didn’t matter if you wouldn’t be able to move in the morning for your next training session, because you’d make it work like you always did. why were you pushing yourself to the extremes? because you were desperate to debut. it was the only thing you could in this life. this was your dream, the only way you knew you could live and be happy.

“hey,” the usually loud and energetic voice of lee donghyuck was tired and soft. “let’s go home.”

“huh?” you squint you eyes at the reflection of the boy standing by the door.

you didn’t even hear him come in because you were too busy dancing and getting the routine right.

“i said,” he looked terribly tired and exhausted. “let’s go home. that’s enough for today.”

“go ahead without me,” you walked over to the sound system to repeat your instrumental for your solo evaluation. “i’m still practicing.”

donghyuck looked at you, seemingly annoyed but you didn’t care. he was a trainee just like you, but his future looked a lot more promising that yours. he seemed as if he was going to debut, not on the verge of getting let go from the company. he didn’t get it.

“aren’t you tired?”

the mention of the word “tired” actually makes you want to collapse and your knees shake more vigorously than they did before, but still you shake your head. you can go on a little more, nothing could ever kill you or bring you down. you just kept telling yourself that.

“no,” you answer him, and walk to the middle of the room, getting ready to dance again, but your music doesn’t start because donghyuck stops it.

“aren’t you tired?” he repeats.

“no! jesus!” you muster all the strength you can to shout at him. “if you want to go to dorms you can, i’m busy.”

“you look tired to me,” donghyuck sighs and walks toward you. “you can’t even stand without shaking. can’t we just go home together?”

you didn’t know when donghyuck started to care that much about you. he places his hands on your arms and they’re enough to weigh them down to your side, but his hands are strangely warm. as they envelope yours. he tugs and you move forward so he takes you all the way and places your head on his shoulder. his body transfers heat to your cold one.

“hey,” you shake your head. “i need to practice.”

“i know,” donghyuck places a hand on your head. “but you’re tired. let’s take a break and come back so you can have strength to do well for your evaluation.”

“donghyuck-“

“i can see you’re tired,” you’ve never heard anyone tell you that through all the years training, so you wonder how a teenage boy can figure it out just like that. “it’s okay to feel the fatigue, but when you’re tired, it’s your brain yelling at you to rest, dummy. just rest here for a bit.”

you sigh, the muscles and joints in your body ache, but they feel relieved in donghyuck’s embrace because he’s holding your weight. “i don’t want to practice anymore,” you finally admit. “i’m beat.”

“ok” he chuckled and you can feel the vibration of his chest as he does so. “then let’s go home.”

donghyuck never seemed all that caring to you because he only ever told jokes and wasn’t a serious boy. but the way he was holding you and telling you that it was okay to feel the way you feeling, he seemed more than just another trainee. it was this, that made you see him for more than what he was. it was this, that made you love and appreciate donghyuck.

“thank you,” you managed to say, as he takes you hand and leads you to the dorms in which you stay.

“don’t mention it,” donghyuck is warm and gentle like the sun.

and you love him for that.

spin the bottle

part of @rrxnjun 's "the crush chronicles" collab

PAIRING: childhood friend!donghyuck x female!reader (side pairing: friend!yangyang x friend!karina)

GENRE: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slightly angsty, coming-of-age, mc and hyuck grow apart and then become friends (or lovers!!) again, best friend!yangyang, best friend!karina, xiaojun and giselle are mentioned a couple times

WARNINGS: mentions of food, explicit language, alcohol consumption, mentions and use of drugs, smoking, vomiting, use of pet names (barely lol), probably a bit too fluffy at the end, the side couple is lowkey more interesting than the main couple (oops), super cliché plot line, not proofread (please let me know if i missed anything)

WC: 21,2 k (oops lol)

‣[PLAYLIST]: amusement park by baekhyun, can i call you tonight? by dayglow, on the way by nct dream, fallingforyou by the 1975

SUMMARY: you knew you loved lee donghyuck ever since you met him, when the two of you were little kids. you had become best friends and were practically inseparable. until one day, donghyuck had to leave town and he also had to leave you. however, your feelings for him only grew stronger and stronger and you knew you had to confess to him when you met him again in college. but all this time, you kept suppressing them and you were always left wondering one thing; if he ever loved you back.

A/N: wow i can't believe it's finally here!! i've spent months working on this fic and i can say i'm very proud for actually finishing it. thank you everyone for being excited for it and especially thanks to @rrxnjun and the collab call for giving me the basis for developing this idea <3 enjoy reading this fic and don't forget to give me feedback, it helps me a lot<33

You were five years old when you first fell in love. Or at least you thought you did. You could never know what falling in love meant at such a young age. But that’s how you want to describe it. Because your feelings for him could not be compared to how you felt about other boys. He could not be compared to other boys. That’s why you fell in love with him. But he didn’t fall in love with you. Or if he did, he never showed it.

Loud cheerful screams were the sound echoing in your ears, mixed with the soothing dreamy music coming from the merry-go-round ahead of you. The gate in front of you seemed ginormous in comparison to your small body. Rainbow fairy lights were climbing up the sides of the gate, confetti glued in between each one of them. White balloons were tied to the top and bottom corners of the pillars, leading up to the bright red and gold sign at the top which read ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.

Your eyes were roaming around the place, looking up to the sky and then left and right to the amusement park your mum took you. Soft awes and chuckles left your lips every time you spotted something new. Everything seemed magical in your eyes, the music and the colors transporting your little brain to different dimensions; this was indeed dreamland.

You stopped in front of the merry-go-round and inspected it. The blue, gold and white horses were moving up and down to the rhythm of the music, kids were riding them with cheerful smiles on their faces. You wanted to go there too. You looked at your mother to ask her to get on the merry-go-round. You opened your mouth when-

“Y/n! Y/n!” a cheery voice was calling your name. You stopped to look towards the direction of the sound, only to spot your best friend. “Yangyang!”

You let go of your mother’s hand and sprinted towards him, capturing him into a tight hug. “Wanna go to the horses?” you asked him eagerly.

“Yes! Let’s go” he agreed and your mothers helped you get on the merry-go-round. After all, it was your favorite.

You and Yangyang went on almost every ride of the amusement park. You loved bumper cars, you went on the ferris wheel with your mothers and went on almost twenty rounds on the kids’ roller coaster. You even tried to catch a teddy bear at the claw machines, but you couldn’t get the chance to do so.

After hours of trying all of the amusement park rides, your little stomach started growling and the smell of food everywhere around you only triggered your hunger more. You passed by the food canteens, smelling and taking in all the delicious scents. "What should I choose?" you thought. Just then, you spotted a stand with something strange looking; it was multi-colored fluff on sticks. Cotton candy. You had never seen it before, so you had to try it.

“Mum! I want to try this! It looks like clouds! I want the pink one!”

Your mum agreed and bought you and Yangyang one stick of cotton candy each, while his mum bought you drinks.

You went over to the tables to sit and eat your cotton candy. You sat down on a chair and took a bite. You didn’t know what to expect, but the sugary flavor definitely met those expectations.

“Wow, it tastes so pink! And it feels like the clouds! It's so fluffy!” your mother laughed at your excitement and agreed.

Yangyang was eating his cotton candy too, but he suddenly grabbed your hand and dragged you down the chair. “Let’s go for a walk. Mum, can we go for a walk?” he turned to ask his mother.

His mum shrugged. “Okay, but not too far from here, I want to see you” she said and we left, grinning.

Obviously, you didn’t listen to her. You liked the freedom you had at that moment, so you went strolling through the entire amusement park.

You and Yangyang were holding each other’s hand so that neither of you run away and got lost. Your other hands were holding the cotton candy. You felt so small among the other people and the huge amusement park rides, but you liked it. You felt at ease.

Yangyang let go of your hand and started skipped in front of you. “In the count of three I’ll start running and you will chase after me to catch me!” he said leaving you still.

“No! Yangyang, I can’t run fast!”

Yangyang didn’t listen to you. He smirked instead and started counting. “One, Two. Three!”

“Wait!” you yelled, but he had already run away.

You sighed and started running through the crowd too. You could still spot him in between other people, but you couldn’t run that fast and stumbled when taking longer steps.

Yangyang stopped and turned back to look at you. He smiled and yelled. “Come on, you’re almost there!” and resumed running.

You were breathing heavily, your feet were feeling sore, and you couldn’t move with ease through the crowd. You took a deep breath and gathered all your energy to run as fast as you could. Your only focus was to catch your friend Yangyang, who was now walking backwards looking at you with a smug expression. You had blocked out your surroundings entirely and didn’t notice that another boy was running too. And he was running towards your direction.

Yangyang was now standing, waiting for you to catch him. “I got you!” you shouted before you let out a scream and fell on the ground. The other boy was running fast too, which ended in him bumping into you. Both of you and the other boy fell down on your butts, the cotton candy you were holding was now smashed and dropped on the ground too.

“No! My fluff!” you frowned, tears already forming in the corners of your eyes.

Yangyang was shocked to see you fall. He came over to you to help you get up, smoothening your dress. “Are you okay Y/n? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get you hurt” he was the one that sounded more hurt.

“It’s okay Yangyang” you reassured him. “But my fluff fell too! I wanted to eat it!” you whined.

Yangyang hugged you. “Don’t worry, we’ll buy a new one."

The other boy steadily stood up by himself. “I’m sorry, I was running too. I didn’t see you.” The boy said, his head lowered.

Neither you or Yangyang responded, so he lifted his head slowly to look at you. “I can buy you cotton candy if you’d like. Sorry” he apologized again.

But you couldn’t speak now either. He looked at you with sorrow eyes, plump lips forming a pout. You took a moment to really look at him. His skin was darker than yours, he was slightly taller than you, his bowl-cut covered his eyebrows, moles on his cheek and neck.

You didn’t know why, but you felt your stomach clench. You cleared your throat and spoke. “Don’t be sorry, I was running too.”

The boy nodded. “My name is Donghyuck. What’s yours?” he asked.

“I’m Y/n and this is my friend Yangyang” you pointed at your friend beside you and he flashed a bright smile to the other boy, Donghyuck.

Donghyuck smiled too and you felt your stomach clench again. “Do you guys want to be friends?” he asked and both you and Yangyang nodded. “Yes let’s be friends! Do you wanna go ride the bumper cars?” Yangyang said and grabbed both yours and Donghyuck's hands.

That’s the first memory you had of him. The first time you saw him, and the first time you've ever felt this weird clenching feeling in your stomach. This was a memory you would always cherish and always remember dearly. But you weren't really sure if he held this memory as close to his heart as you did.

Beep. Pause. Beep

Why isn’t he picking up the phone? You had called Yangyang three times already. Where is he?

You put your phone in your pocket and grabbed the books you needed for your next class from your locker. As you locked it, an arm linked with yours and dragged you to the corridor.

“Are you ready for this new semester? I heard new students transferred to our department, they might be hot” your best friend Jimin was smirking, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Yeah they might be, but I have a class now and Yangyang isn’t here, I can’t cover up for him on the first day!” you complained.

“Oh come on Y/n, you know how he is. He probably slept in, he’ll be here, don’t worry” she said and you nodded.

You were walking towards your class, greeting a few of your old colleagues on the way. It was your third year of college already, but it still felt like your first day.

You and Jimin parted ways and went to your respective classes. You agreed to meet up later for coffee and lunch, after classes ended.

The amphitheater was almost full; you managed to spot an empty seat at the back of the room and hurried to sit there before someone else took that seat.

You sat down and placed the books on top of the desk. You checked your phone again and saw that Yangyang had now texted you.

[Yangles]

slept in. don’t save me a seat

ttyl :)

Typical Yangyang. You sighed and put your phone aside as the lecture was about to start.

For the next two hours, you couldn’t concentrate on the lecture because of the group of friends chatting behind you. If you were honest, their conversation was a lot more interesting than the lecture.

The girls behind you kept talking about the new students at the computer engineering department. You heard comments such as “oh he is so hot” and “they looked at me and winked”. Oh Jimin is gonna love the tea.

The lecture finally ended and you headed towards the coffee shop in which Jimin asked you to meet her. You sent her a text to let her know you’re on your way. As you were typing the text, suddenly an arm slung around your shoulder. So you let out a loud-ass scream. 

“Guess who’s here!” Yangyang exclaimed, a wide grin plastered across his face, eyes bright, his loud voice a bit too close to your ear. If you ever become deaf, it’s all his fault.

“Oh good morning to you too Yangyang, I’m fine thanks and you?” you said ironically and he rolled his eyes at your comment.

“Cut the ironies bestie, I met Donghyuck earlier” he said and your feet froze and stayed glued right where you were standing.

But you haven’t seen him in years. He moved out of town when you were fifteen, right before high school, because his parents found a better job. He had promised both you and Yangyang that he would call and maybe even visit you whenever he could. And he kept his promise for a while, but after things got tougher with school, his phone calls and occasional visits stopped.

Your stomach clenched. You gulped and removed Yangyang’s arm from your shoulder. “what do you mean Donghyuck is here?”

“I mean that Donghyuck is here” he said, rolling his eyes again, but his tone was serious. “He transferred to the computer engineering department. I came across him on campus and met his friends too. Real cool guys. He asked me about you too.”

“He did?” you regret speaking, because you didn’t expect your voice to come out that shaky.

“Um yeah, why wouldn’t he? He wants us to meet and hang out, just like the good old days. Are you free now?” 

“No, I’m actually meeting Jimin for coffee now. I was texting her before you scared the shit out of me” you said.

Yangyang laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later then. I’ll tell Hyuck you said hi” he squeezed your cheek and left.

But you were still standing frozen, trying to comprehend what Yangyang just told you. Donghyuck is back. He is back and you couldn’t wait to see him again. So he does remember you. There must be a reason why he didn’t contact you all these years. People’s lives change, right? Does he still look as pretty as he did back then? Does he still care about you as he did back then? All these questions started forming one after the other in your head, but you couldn’t distract yourself from the clenching feeling in your stomach. In fact, these exact questions were to blame for causing you this feeling. 

You were ten years old when you fell in love again. Not that you ever fell out of love. But at least now you were sure about your feelings. It wasn’t something you had made up; it was rather a confirmation that you had loved him ever since the day you saw him.

You had went to the park with Yangyang and Donghyuck. The three of you decided to do sports in the park; Yangyang took his skateboard with him and Yangyang took his bike. You, however, didn’t take anything with you; you didn’t know how to skate and you certainly didn’t know how to ride a bike. You just wanted to tag along because you had fun spending time with your friends.

But Donghyuck had offered to help you learn how to ride a bike. Yangyang bursted out laughing so hard when Donghyuck said that. “I tried to teach her how to skate once and let me tell you, I wouldn’t even think about teaching her how to ride a bike” Yangyang said.

Yangyang always found his way to make fun of you. He didn’t do it in order to be mean; it was anything but that. He liked teasing you because you would get annoyed and then he would apologize because he felt bad. “I didn’t mean it Y/n” he would say. “I know” you always responded.

But that day Donghyuck was present in this conversation. What you didn’t expect was for him to stand up for you. “Well, in her defense Yangyang” he started “skating is too hard. It needs patience both by the skater and the student. The bike is a bit easier to handle. I think Y/n can do it”.

Every time Donghyuck spoke about you, your stomach clenched. You didn’t know what it was about him that made you feel this way. Was it his eyes? His smile? His honey skin? His soft voice? His kindness and humor? The way he treated you? You didn’t know.

Yangyang agreed with Donghyuck. “You’re right, I didn’t mean what I said. Just so you know. I think you can do this Y/n” he said, his smile fading.

“Don’t apologize Yangles, I know you didn’t mean it” you said and his signature grin appeared on his face again.

You eventually learned how to ride a bike. Donghyuck helped you every time; he taught you how to keep your balance, held you every time you were about to fall and did it every day until you were finally able to do it on your own.

One day he asked you to go to the park to ride your bikes together. Yangyang said he couldn’t come because he felt sick. So it was just you and Donghyuck.

You always felt such comfort with him. He reminded you of a warm summer day in nature. His pure gaze felt like the sun rays hitting your skin, his plump lips seemed to be as soft as the cotton fields, his laugh livelier than the chirping birds. He was comfort himself.

That day the two of you went biking, you couldn’t help but smile at the way you felt. You felt free, independent, powerful. The world surrounding you was in a haze, the only sight you could see was him, the only sound you could hear was his voice.

But sometimes it felt nice not hearing his voice. It meant that he was at peace, and you were too. You had left your bikes standing against a tree and the two of you sat down on the grassy ground to just stare at the sunset. You both loved the sunset.

Donghyuck’s arm was resting on your lower back, his head leaning towards yours, which was resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, when you sat in a position like this, you would try to match your breathing with his. If you were to be honest, you would admit that it was quite hard.

Donghyuck’s gaze was set on the colorful sea of clouds ahead of him, You did the same. He didn’t turn to look at you when he spoke up. “You know, Y/n, at moments like this, I realise how much I enjoy spending time with you. You are truly the best friend I could ever have. I would never leave you, okay?”

The words he uttered at this exact moment confirmed that you sure loved him. More than just a friend. But you could never open up to him about this. He could never know. Not when he wasn’t feeling the same. Not when he didn’t keep his promise.

Jimin was sitting at a coffee table near the window, sipping from a white plastic cup while texting on her phone. You skipped towards her and sat down on the chair opposite from hers. “Donghyuck is here”.

She put down both her cup and her phone and looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Don’t tell me he’s one of the transfer students” she said. 

“Well, apparently he is” you said. “Yangyang told me. They’ve already met. Plus, he asked about me”.

Jimin’s bottom lip dropped down to her jaw. “What?” she said again. “Okay, when are we meeting him? I need to have a word with him”.

You laughed at her reaction. “Stop it Jimin, I’m over him now. It’s been years since I had a crush on him.” you said.

“I don’t believe you. You can’t trick me with that. I won’t fall for it.” she said, her tone serious. “I know you dated and all, but you always compared everyone to Donghyuck. You expect me to believe that you moved on?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Whatever” you said.

The two of you paused for a moment before Jimin spoke up. “Do you think he got even hotter?”

You laughed at her comment and playfully slapped her forearm. “Stop it Jimin!”. She was now laughing too. “I don’t know, okay? He might be.” you said.

“Do you want to see him?” Jimin asked you and your eyes shifted down to your lap.

You seriously didn’t know. A part of you wanted to see him, talk to him, hug him and feel him again, ask him about his life and interests, spend time with him. But a part of you was scared; scared that if you saw him, you would fall in love with him again.

“My guess is that you do. Come on, I missed him a bit too” Jimin said and you chuckled. “Now, how about we get you some coffee and you tell me about your day, hm?” Jimin asked and you nodded in agreement.

The next day Yangyang insisted on picking you up from your dorm and driving you to your classes. He felt bad he missed the first day of the semester so he decided to make up for standing you up by driving you to class. You grabbed your phone to text him and let him know that you were ready but he beat you to it. He was already parked outside the dorm complex waiting for you in his car.

You opened the door from the passenger’s side and got inside the car. “Hey” you greeted him and he did the same, flashing you his signature wide grin.

“Don’t make plans for later. We’re going out tonight. You, me and Donghyuck” he said after he turned on the engine.

 The mention of this specific name took you aback. You muttered a small “okay” and you hoped he heard you the first time so you wouldn’t have to repeat it. “Should I tell Jimin to tag along? She said she would like to hang out all together too” you asked.

Yangyang shrugged. “Yeah sure, I haven’t seen her in a while. Hyuck would love to see her too” he said.

You thanked him for agreeing to invite Jimin and smiled at him. But you couldn’t ignore the clenching feeling that appeared again in your stomach.

Your thoughts carried you away and you didn’t realize you had already arrived at campus. Yangyang parked the car and both of you exited it. You exchanged a short conversation of “see you later” and “text me for any news” and went to your respective classes.

The day went by in a flash. It was already afternoon and you were in your dorm with Jimin, your closet wide open, clothes scattered all over the bed.

You let out a frustrated sigh. “I officially don’t have any clothes” you whined.

“No, you do,” Jimin said, “you’re just nervous. And I don’t even know the reason why, I thought you were over Donghyuck, right?”

“Jimin please, you’re making this even harder!” you whined again.

Jimin got up from the chair and stood in front of your closet. She searched through the racks and the drawers for a while until she stopped and put an outfit on your bed. “Here,” she said, “get dressed. And do it quickly. We’re gonna be late”.

You complied and took the clothes to get dressed. It’s just a meet up with old friends. Nothing to be stressed about. You didn’t have a crush on Donghyuck anymore either. You were probably nervous, or rather excited, because you hadn’t seen him in a long time. Yeah, that’s probably why.

You were supposed to meet Yangyang and Donghyuck at the local diner. Yangyang promised to be there earlier so that you and Jimin wouldn’t have to be the ones to wait for them. You weren’t sure whether you should believe him or not; every time he promises to be early, there’s only gonna appear something on his way to make him late.

Jimin offered to drive the two of you to the diner that you were supposed to meet your friends at. You’ve been to this diner before, you’re going out with your best friends, just a normal night out. But why is your heart beating so hard? Why does it feel like it’s about to rip your chest apart and fly out of your body?

Jimin parked the car in the diner’s parking lot. You spotted Yangyang’s car in the parking lot too, two figures standing beside it. It must be them. It must be him.

“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Jimin waved her hand in front of your face and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “I see them, let’s go” she said and exited the car.

You imitate her movements and get out of the car too. Jimin noticed your uneasiness, so she linked her arm with yours and walked with you towards the boys.

Yangyang and Donghyuck seemed to have a conversation about something and didn’t realize you were right there, standing in front of them. “We’re here” Jimin spoke up and the two boys turned their bodies to look at us.

Your gaze immediately fell on the boy that made your heart beat and break at the same time. Black leather jacket hanging from his shoulders, black skinny jeans and boots covering his long legs, comma-styled black hair exposing his forehead. You locked eyes with him, his chocolate ones piercing through yours, plump lips sliding upwards to a wide smile. You swear you saw sparkles in his eyes for a second. Only your heart knew the answer.

“Y/n” Donghyuck breathed out and you returned his smile, before you threw yourself on him and embraced him tightly.

He started laughing. “I missed you so much” he said in your ear and you were thankful he wasn’t able to see your face because your cheeks were almost on fire. “Cute, but I wish I could say the same bitch-ass” you laughed too.

“Oh shut up, you haven’t seen me in years and this is the treatment I get?”.Of course he clapped back. Typical Donghyuck. And right there and then, it felt as if not a single day had passed.

You hugged him tightly. You forgot how comfortable he felt. He had rested his chin in the crook of your neck and you stood on the tips of your toes to do the same. He had definitely grown a bit taller since the last time you saw him. You took a moment to remember his scent, to feel his touch, to hear his voice. And then the clenching feeling was there again.

Yangyang cleared his throat. “Um, we’re here too, you know” he trailed off. You and Donghyuck broke the hug and Donghyuck motioned Yangyang and Jimin to join you in a group hug. Your cheekbones hurt because you were smiling so hard. Your heart fluttered. You were happy.

Yangyang was the first one to break off the hug because he started whining and said he was hungry, so he went inside the diner and invited us in. Donghyuck followed shortly after him, leaving you and Jimin behind. Jimin turned at you and mouthed “girl he’s so hot” and went inside the diner. Typical Jimin, you thought.

Time seemed to have stopped and felt like you were trapped in a loop. Spending time with your favorite people, laughing, talking, reminiscing about the past while making plans for the future. You only stopped the conversations when you had to take a bite from your food or take a sip from your drink. Yangyang didn’t seem to be bothered by that though. 

“So,” Donghyuck started and you shifted your gaze to your drink “are you still dating that guy Y/n?”

Oh he was talking to you. You looked up at him, confused. “Who? Dejun? Well, no, we broke up, like, so long ago” you said.

“Yeah he yeeted his way out to be a model in China or something, honestly who even cares? I almost forgot about him” Yangyang said after he emptied his glass of beer.

Donghyuck chuckled at Yangyang’s remark and went back to eating his food. Jimin kicked you under the table and when you looked at her side, she was smirking.

“Well Yangyang, how about you tell us about your relationship, hm?” you asked him and he choked on his food. He started coughing and Donghyuck patted him on his back to help him breathe.

“Let's not talk about it bestie, okay? I know I fucked up” he said after he caught his breath.

“Why what happened? Donghyuck asked, intrigued.

Jimin was the one who spoke this time. “He's supposed to be dating this girl but he never texts her, calls her or takes her out. Basically he never wants to spend time with her. I seriously don’t know why she hasn’t broken up with him yet”.

Yangyang lowered his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t wanna see her,” he muttered, “but I may or may not have lost feelings and I kinda don’t know how to tell her”.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a coward you would confront her and stop playing with her. It’s that easy you know. Whether you love or don’t love someone anymore, you should tell them before it’s too late” you told him.

“Sounds brave coming from you, Y/n” his response caught you off guard. You threw a piercing glare at him and before you opened your mouth to speak, Jimin spoke over you. “Maybe we should change the topic, what do you think?” she said.

You and Yangyang exchanged a look and focused your attention on your food. Donghyuck chuckled at the interaction between you and your best friend, but he didn’t say anything. 

The rest of the night went on smoothly and you soon forgot about the tension between you and Yangyang from earlier. He was right though. You should consider your own advice sometimes. Why can’t you tell Donghyuck you like him? Why didn’t you tell him when you had the chance to do so? Your feelings for him began to resurface and it was just the first time you saw him after years. You couldn’t let yourself make the same mistake again.

The entire night you and Donghyuck kept throwing hidden glances at each other. You caught him staring at you multiple times and if you were honest with yourself, you did stare at him too. You couldn’t ignore the fact that he looked beautiful. He had always been beautiful.

Your mind, however, was focused on something else, something you wanted to have an answer to. Why did he stop reaching out for you when he left? You needed to know the reason why. He must have had a reason. You tried to push this thought aside and allowed yourself to have a good time. I’ll ask him another time, you thought.

You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. And it was none other than Lee Donghyuck himself who stole it from you. Part of you believed that the reason you were so attached to him even now was because of that day; he gave you your first kiss. But a part of you knew that the kiss was the incident that tied everything together.

Donghyuck announced one day that the company his parents worked in was moving their main offices to a different town, so they had to move away from this place. The same day, you announced to your friend Jimin that you had your first heartbreak. Of course you were going to miss him. A lot. Yangyang was sad too that day. Jimin didn’t know him well enough, but she still felt sad when Donghyuck told you all.

The day before Donghyuck and his family would move away, Yangyang had an idea; to throw a goodbye party for Donghyuck. Donghyuck disagreed and said that a normal hangout with all of us would be just fine, but Yangyang insisted on throwing a party at his place. It will still be just the four of us but a little bit fancier, he had said.

So eventually everyone agreed. The previous day, you and Yangyang went to the shops to buy snacks and some decorations. You were walking around the convenience store aisles when Yangyang finally admitted to his ulterior motives.

“So, Y/n, here’s what we’re gonna do. For the party. I think we should play games but in a more adult way, if you know what I mean” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

You looked at him confused and urged him to continue. “So we’ll play spin the bottle. And before you protest, no we’re not gonna drink anything with alcohol in it because we’re gonna get caught, but it’s gonna be a good excuse for me to kiss Jimin and for you to kiss Donghyuck”.

You stopped walking with a bag of chips in your hands and turned to him. “Are you out of your mind? This cannot happen, ever!” you whisper-shouted at him.

“Oh come on Y/n, don’t be such a party pooper. We both win in the end so what’s the matter?” he whined.

You thought for a few seconds. “They might be uncomfortable and turn down your offer. We want to have fun, remember? Plus, I don’t think Jimin likes you back and Donghyuck certainly doesn’t like me back either” you said and put that bag of chips you were holding into the shopping cart.

“Okay, Jimin might not like me back but I am completely, utterly, absolutely sure that Hyuck likes you” Yangyang said but you ignored him.

As if the odds were against you that day, Jimin and Donghyuck agreed on Yangyang’s suggestion. Jimin wasn’t that fond of the idea of playing spin the bottle at first, but eventually the boys convinced her and she said yes. You had no other choice but to agree too.

You wanted to kiss Donghyuck. You really did. But not in a forced scenario and definitely not in front of Yangyang. You wouldn’t bear his annoying ass teasing you about it for the rest of your life. But this could be my chance to finally confess to him, you thought. But even if you did, nothing would change. He would still leave town the next morning.

Yangyang grabbed the glass of cola you emptied earlier and put it on the ground. You gathered up sitting on the ground too. You looked at Jimin and she smiled at you. “Don’t think about it too much Y/n, it’s just a game”. It wasn’t just a game to you.

Yangyang was the first one to spin the bottle. The empty cola bottle spun for a few seconds, four sets of eyes staring at it with laser rays coming out of them. The bottle started gradually spinning less quickly, until it took three, two, one seconds before it stopped and became still; the top part of the bottle was pointing at Jimin and the bottom part was at Yangyang’s side. “Oh my god Jimin has to kiss you bro” Donghyuck said, smiling.

“This game is bullshit, I don’t wanna do it” Jimin said and crossed her arms. Jimin’s words made Yangyang’s lips drop down to a frown.

“Come on Jimin, it’s just a game, you said it yourself” Donghyuck said. Jimin sighed and leaned towards Yangyang. “Fine, come here then you bitch” she said before she grabbed Yangyan’s jaw and kissed him on the lips. You and Donghyuck stayed still, watching them. Jimin only went in to peck Yangyang, but he went all the way in and kissed her properly. Jimin was quick to react and pulled away from him.. “Ew, don’t do that! We agreed on just a kiss not a full on makeout session. Jeez Yangyang” she said and sat back down at her side.

Yangyang tried to hide the sulk on his face. “I tried to taste your chapstick more, you bitch, but it turns out it tastes awful. What the fuck is this taste?” Yangyang said and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

“It's vanilla” Jimin said. Yangyang loved vanilla.

The game continued for a couple of rounds and every single time, as if it was its fate, the bottle landed on Jimin and Yangyang. Jimin had already had enough with kissing Yangyang just once, so she suggested that they avoid the kissing part and just hug instead. This went on and on and on until the bottle spun again, going round and round and round until it stopped in three, two, one. But this time, the bottle’s ends were pointing towards two different directions. The bottom part on you, the top part on Donghyuck.

You gulped and looked at him. He seemed calm, relaxed. For him, it was just a game. Sitting there at that moment, looking right into his deep brown eyes, you regretted agreeing to play this game. And you made a mental note to slap Yangyang after all of this was over.

“Now this is getting interesting” Yangyang whispered just loud enough for you to hear him and went over to Jimin's side to sit beside her and watch.

Donghyuck licked his lips and leaned over towards you. You hoped he wouldn't be able to listen to the drumming sounds of your heart or see the embarrassingly vibrant red color on your cheeks. You just went along with it. It’s just a game, right?

Donghyuck was standing a bit too close to you, probably the closest the two of you have been physically. Or rather, the most intimate you’ve been together. He lowered his head to meet your eye level, and came closer to your face just enough so that his lips were grazing over your ear. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just for fun” he whispered to you. Suddenly, this wasn’t just fun anymore.

Donghyuck pulled away from your ear and was now staring deep into your eyes, his face almost attached to yours. He looked at you for a couple of seconds before he gave you a reassuring nod. You didn’t have the energy to say anything, so you gave him a nod too, signaling him that you were fine.

Before you could even process what was about to happen, Donghyuck leaned in and kissed you. Plump lips captured yours in a soft dancing motion, their taste perfectly resembling a mix of the pizza and cola he had earlier. Shock waves run throughout your entire body, as he moved his hand to the back of your neck to support you.

You allowed yourself to fall entirely into him, eyes closed and lips moving along the rhythm he created. A few seconds felt like hours, his homely yet unfamiliar touch making your stomach clench and your face heat up in love.

And then he stopped. Donghyuck pulled back and flashed the brightest smile you had ever seen painted on his beautiful face. He licked his lips and you laughed awkwardly, looking down at your lap to avoid his piercing gaze. Your heart was still beating rapidly. You could taste his lips on your lips, you could feel the touch of his hand in the back of your neck, you could hear the sound of his beating heart, you could sense his cool breath fanning your burning face. Donghyuck had stopped kissing you, but the sensation of his kiss was still present in your entire body. You just had your first kiss, and at the same time, you had your first kiss with Donghyuck.

“Gosh you were kissing for ages. Like, get a room, or something” Yangyang said and went back to sit on the side of the room he was previously sitting in. Jimin threw you a playful wink secretly from the boys. You knew what it meant. We need to talk later type of wink.

It was getting late and Donghyuck’s parents called him to go back home. He needed to leave sooner than the rest of you because he still hadn’t packed all of his things. You greeted him one last time before he walked out the door to leave.

As the door closed, you felt your heart sink down the deepest ocean, a piece of it shattering, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, dryness in your throat. You missed him already. It had been just a couple of seconds since he walked out the door and your heart to go out that door with him too.

A tear streamed down your cheek.So this was it. A second tear followed shortly after the first one. Then another one. And another one. Soon enough a pool of tears was running down your face and it hadn’t occurred to you that you were going to miss him that much. 

But as if a lightning bolt struck you, you quickly wiped your tears with the palm of your hands, stormed out the door and ran after Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck!” you yelled and he stopped to look back at you. You were lucky he heard your voice, he hadn’t walked that far though, you were quick to react and follow after him, just so you could spend some more time with him. You and him.  “Do you mind if I walk you home?” you asked him and he nodded.

You skipped a bit so that you could walk beside him. You started walking alongside Donghyuck, taking a few seconds to catch your breath until it came back to its normal rate. “So, when are we gonna see you again?” you asked him. He left a low chuckle and shook his head.

“I honestly don’t know, Y/n” he said. Another piece of your heart shattered.

Donghyuck noticed your saddened expression and took your hand in his. "Hey, look at me” he said. You stopped and turned towards him, taking in the details of his face. His chocolate eyes were gleaming under the moonlight, the moles on his dark cheek reminded you of the stars in the night sky.

“I will not forget you. Ever. Always remember that. I will try my best to call you as much as I can, all of you. You guys are my best friends, I could never leave you. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, it won’t be that easy for me to visit you often. but I promise to make up for all the time that we will lose. Especially for you. But I can’t be sure when that will be.”

A tear slipped down your cheek again and he wiped it away with his thumb. Why is he being like this all of a sudden?

Your voice wasn’t strong enough at that moment for you to speak, so you opened your arms to embrace him instead. And he hugged you back so tightly you thought your body would be merged with his. He buried his head at the crook of your neck and you stayed there for a while, feeling the presence of your bodies on each other. Not a single word was said, yet you felt so comfortable and safe in his arms.

That night you had helped him pack his things. You stayed in his room afterwards, talking, laughing, crying. God you were going to miss him. That day, you thought for the first time ever that maybe your feelings were reciprocated. But he said nothing about it. So you didn’t say anything either.

But you wanted to. It felt like all the words were stuck in your throat and there was something blocking them from coming out. I like you Donghyuck, I like you a lot. It was that easy. But for some reason, you couldn’t say it out loud. Maybe you didn’t want to. Maybe you were too scared of rejection. Or maybe you were afraid of losing a friend.

You and Donghyuck were sitting at the stairs of his porch, next to each other, facing the stars of the night sky. You didn’t want to go home. You couldn’t. You wanted to stay there longer, kiss him again, talk to him about anything and then kiss him again.

When you stood up to leave, he hugged you one last time, stroking your hair lightly. He spoke in a low voice in your ear. “I’ll be back. Don’t forget me”.

How could I ever forget you Donghyuck?

The day after you met Donghyuck at the diner, he texted you and asked to hang out later after your classes. You would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t screech like a schoolgirl the moment you saw his text message on your phone when you woke up.

Of course you agreed to meet him. At that moment, you didn’t feel nervous, at all,  but as time passed your stomach was clenching more and more.

Jimin wouldn’t stop nudging you about it the entire day. She wanted to meet up for lunch because she was dying to talk about this ever since you came back home last night. “The first thing he did in the morning was to ask you to hang out later? Yeah, sounds like a date to me” she said.

You rolled your eyes at her. “It's not a date, drop it. He just wants us to hang out, that’s it” you said.

“Are you sure that you want to just hang out though?” she asked you.

You thought for a second. “Well, no, but I won't try to do anything more than that” you said.

“Whatever,” Jimin said “you have to tell him sometime though, you know that right? And you also have to admit to yourself that you never really got over him, so now that he’s here you have to make your move. You had your chance once and you lost it. So don’t lose it again now”.

You sighed. “What if he doesn’t feel the same” you said.

“Who gives a fuck?” Jimin said “If he doesn’t feel the same, you will close this chapter and begin a new one. There are other fish in the sea too, you know”

Yeah but it’s not the same, you whispered to yourself. Jimin didn’t hear you.

As soon as you came back to your dorm, you went straight to searching through your closet for an outfit to wear later, when your phone chimed.

[Hyuck]

meet me at the park in about hour

[Hyuck]

bring your bike too

You were staring at your phone screen until it turned off. Oh he’s such a little bitch, you thought.

You put on comfortable clothes and running shoes, and decided to ride your bike on the way to the park. The sun was beginning to set; orange and pink hues painted the sky, a light chilly breeze combing through your hair. The park was still lively, little kids were playing with each other, old couples were going for walks, some students were studying under the trees.

You hadn’t been to the park since the day Donghyuck left. Yangyang wanted to go skating there from time to time, but every time he asked you to keep him company, you turned down his offer. Then, he started filling his time with dating girls and you started spending more time with Jimin, so the park wasn’t your go-to place to hang out anymore.

You saw Donghyuck leaning against a tree, foot resting on top of the bike’s pedal, same black leather jacket as the day before, a bucket hat hiding his pretty features. He was scrolling through his phone as you approached him.

“Hey” you said and his head shot up, turning off his phone and placing it in his pocket. “Y/n, hi” he said and smiled. You smiled back at him. He looked beautiful when he smiled.

“So, you still like the park, I see” you said. He nodded and hopped on his bike. “I do. So come on, let’s go for a ride. I think we have to catch up on a lot of things. And I promised to make up for all the time we lost. So, let’s go” he said and started riding his bike.

You followed shortly after him until you were now biking beside him. So he does remember his promise, you thought. You smiled to yourself and pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind. You wanted to enjoy your time with him, just like the old times.

You spent hours biking and talking about anything. Donghyuck told you stories from his high school years, the friends he met on the way, how he changed his college major and decided to come back here to study computer engineering.

“A part of me wanted this change because I missed this town, you know? I have so many memories here, I was kinda attached to this place. All I needed was a valid reason to come back, and I found one, so here I am.” he said.

You couldn’t help but bring the same questions to your mind, so you gathered all of your strength and asked him. “Then why didn’t you visit us at all? Or even call us back? You did at first and then you stopped. Why?”

Donghyuck pulled the breaks of his bike and rested his feet on the ground to stop the bike from moving. You mimicked his actions and stood there searching his features for an answer. He cleared his throat and turned to look at you. You couldn’t see his face clearly because the bucket hat was casting a shadow over his features.

“Honestly, I don’t really know. I didn’t want to stop contacting you, but I don’t know why I did it.” He paused for a few moments. He drew in a breath and started again. “You know what, I think I know, but I can’t tell you now. Maybe some other time, okay?” he said.

You were left confused, but decided not to question him any further. Instead, you nodded and smiled at him. He would tell you when he was ready to do so.

The sky was getting darker and darker and both your stomachs growled in hunger. Donghyuck suggested that you buy takeout and sit under at the park to stargaze. You left your bikes leaning against a random tree and put your jackets on the ground to sit on them.

The sky looked beautiful. The stars and the moon were shining brightly, contrasting with the pitch black background of the sky. Donghyuck was staring at the sky when he spoke up “I remember how much you liked watching the sky when you were younger. You were always watching the stars closely and we made bets on which one would fall first.”

You chuckled at the memory. “And you always lost. Every. Single. Time. Seriously, you have no intuition at all. You had won one time and bragged about it forever” you said and he laughed.

He turned his head to face you. He had taken off his hat too, his black hair was falling over his eyes. “You were just lucky all the other times. Don’t flatter yourself” he said.

You sat there and ate your food in silence. Comfortable silence. The only sound that was heard was the singing of the cicadas in the trees and occasionally your munching on the food.

Everything felt at ease again. You and Donghyuck, sitting beside each other, enjoying each other’s company, not having to utter a single word. You were smiling at yourself, it really felt as if not a single day had passed.

Donghyuck looked back at the sky and took a sip from his drink before he addressed you. “You really improved. Biking, I mean. I remember you were still struggling when I left” he said.

“Thanks, I still rode my bike to school so that I could get used to it more. Thank you for teaching me by the way. I don’t think I ever thanked you properly” you said.

“It's no problem” he said and sipped from his drink again.

He opened his mouth to speak again, changing the subject now. “So, why did you break up with that guy? Dejun, was it?” he asked.

Why is he so curious about that? “Oh, there were many reasons actually. He wasn’t a bad guy, he was really cool and I liked him a lot. It’s just that we got kinda bored of each other, I guess? And he also graduated from high school a year earlier than me so then he had to go back to China for college.”

Donghyuck nodded. “I see” he paused and asked again. “How was he like?”

“Why do you even bother so much? He is old news now, anyway” you said. But now you were curious about Donghyuck too. “Tell me about you, did you date anyone in high school?”

You don’t know why but you got anxious waiting for his answer. He shrugged. “Yeah but nothing serious. Just casual things, you know?” he said and you hummed in agreement.

The night went on and you talked more. You and Donghyuck agreed to hang out at the park every day after your classes, like you used to. That’s what he suggested. You couldn’t say no; of course you wanted to spend time with him.

And that’s what you did. You grew closer again, maybe even closer than you used to be. You enjoyed biking and stargazing in the park a lot. It had become your thing; an activity that the two of you shared with each other, an excuse to get away from everyone and everything and make up for all the memories you could have had.

There were quite a few moments when you wanted to look Donghyuck in the eyes and tell him I like you dumbass. But every single time you backed away from doing it. You were too scared that these harmless words would end up destroying everything you had built with him.

So you waited. You waited for the right time to bring it up. You were having the time of your life alongside a dear person that you’ve loved and appreciated your entire life. You were not ready to take the risk and possibly lose him. So you never said a word. Because he didn’t say any words either.

“Why does Donghyuck keep asking me about Dejun? What is so interesting about him? If he wants to find out more about him, he should be the one to date him” the frustration in your voice made a couple of people turn their heads from the tables next to yours.

Jimin took a fork bite of her carrot cake. “Girl, you must be joking” she said, munching on the piece of cake. “He asks about him because, guess what, he is jealous! J-e-a-l-o-u-s. Got it? Why are you so stupid, gosh! The man has clearly fallen for you and you are so oblivious of it!”.

“I mean why would he be jealous? Dejun and I broke up so long ago” you muttered to yourself.

Jimin heard that and, obviously, she wouldn’t leave it at that. “This is what happens when you like someone. Donghyuck keeps asking you about your ex boyfriend because he wants to make sure he’s in the clear to make a move.”

You sighed. “Is this why you keep asking Yangyang if he broke up with his girlfriend? Look, Jimin, I love you, but I don’t think Hyuck likes me. As a friend, yes. But nothing more than that.”

Jimin gulped down a glass full of water. “Okay, whatever floats your boat, Y/n” she said and took another fork bite of her cake. “So, did Yangyang tell you? A frat guy he knows is hosting a party this weekend, wanna go?” she asked you.

“Come on Jiminie, you know I don’t really do parties” you whined.

Jimin rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting a different answer. But we’re definitely going. There’s gonna be hot boys, good music and lots of alcohol. I heard Donghyuck is going too”.

“Well, he didn’t mention any party” you defended him. “He didn’t mention any party yet” Jimin corrected you. “He's gonna bring it up any second. I bet you can’t say no to him, you care too much about his feelings but you never care about mine” Jimin sulked.

You mentally slapped her only because you couldn’t bear to slap her for real. “I will go to the party because you want us to go, not because Donghyuck will supposedly be there. You know I always come along with you in everything. We come as a package, remember? Now, don’t sulk and eat your cake, we have to think about our outfits” you said. She was your best friend after all, it was the least you could do.

Jimin’s face lit up and her lips curved upwards, stretching all the way to her ears. Before she could open her mouth to speak, you cut her off. “But you have to promise me that you won’t get drunk, okay?” you said and lifted your pinky.

She linked her pinky finger with yours and nodded in agreement. “I don’t exactly promise it, but I’ll try my best” she said.

Donghyuck indeed mentioned the party later that day when you went out at the park with him. “I don’t really wanna go either Y/n, but all my friends are gonna be there. And now that you’re gonna be there too, I can’t be the only one missing out from all the fun” he said.

Donghyuck has had his fun share with parties during high school. He told you so one night at the park. He would sneak out the house and go to parties during weekends, but one night, or rather morning, he went home super drunk and threw up all over the front door rug. He claimed that this happened because of a dare his friends made him do and that he didn’t intend to drink as much as he did. After that, he avoided parties like the plague. It’s not that his parents never allowed him to go again; he could easily sneak out his window. He was smart enough to realize that parties were simply not good for him.

“I wanted to fit in with them, you know?” Donghyuck said “I got used to it eventually and I actually kinda liked it, but now I don’t really enjoy such things”.

That’s one of the many reasons you liked Donghyuck so much. His honesty. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind about things that bothered him, or simply voice out his thoughts. So why wasn’t he doing it with his feelings too? Was it so hard for him too? Did he actually like you, like Jimin said? Or maybe you just wanted to believe that he did. If he really did, he would probably have said it by now.

But his actions spoke louder than his words. You couldn’t help but think about the way he looked at you under the night sky when you were staring at the stars but he was staring back at you. Or when he wiped your strawberry milk stains from the corners of your lips and his fingers stayed there brushing your lips a little longer than they should be. Or when he held you close to him among big crowds so that he wouldn’t lose you from his sight. Or when he would let you rest your head on his chest while he was stroking your hair so that you could fall asleep faster.

You swear you had heard him whisper something to you once, but when you asked him to repeat it he waved it off. Were you that desperate for his attention? Maybe. But maybe both of you were fools, afraid to let their heart be free because of the painful possibility that it might break.

You and Jimin were standing in front of the frat house door, the loud music blasting through the speakers behind the wall created a throbbing base sound in your ears, your heart beat in sync with the beat of the song that was playing from inside that house.

“Do we knock or...” Jimin trailed off before the door slid wide open and a tipsy young man stood by it. “Welcome ladies, come on in” he said. You and Jimin looked at each other for confirmation before hesitantly taking a step forward. The young man stepped aside so that you could get through the door.

The place was dark, the only source of light being the neon special effects lighting coming from the DJ set. The rooms were packed with people, some of them already drunk, some of them dancing all over each other, the mixed odor of sweat, alcohol and weed making you dizzy. At that exact moment you reminded yourself that this was why you didn’t like parties.

You and Jimin stood there, eyes wandering all over the room, trying to take in the scenery in front of you. “Damn, this is so cool” Jimin breathed out.

The guy who opened the door a few seconds ago was nowhere to be seen. A girl was walking with her sunglasses on, when she bumped into Jimin and spilled a bit of her drink on the ground, a drop of it landing on Jimin’s shoe. A “sorry” was barely audible on top of the loud music and Jimin stood there looking at her shoe in disgust.

“I guess it’s not that cool” she said and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go get ourselves some drinks.”

You walked towards the kitchen which was a bit brighter compared to the other rooms. Bottles of different types of alcohol were lined up on the kitchen counter. Juice boxes, ice and plastic red cups were placed on the kitchen table. A group of boys were refilling their cups with their alcohol of choice, while a couple was making out up against the wall next to the fridge.

Jimin’s disgusted expression from earlier appeared again. You decided to ignore your surroundings and went over to the kitchen counter to grab a drink for you and Jimin.

“Where’s Yangyang?” Jimin asked

“I honestly have no idea. He said he’d text me once he gets here, but I’m a bit surprised he didn’t arrive earlier than us. He doesn’t miss on such things” you said and Jimin nodded.

“And Donghyuck?” she asked again

You put the bottle of alcohol down and grabbed a box of grapefruit juice. You shrugged. “ No idea either.”

Jimin smirked at your answer, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took her cup and guided you out of the kitchen towards the living room. “Come on, let’s dance” she said.

The music was blasting into your eardrums and your body caught the rhythm of the music, adjusting its muscles to move along to it. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your body was swaying to the fast-paced song that the DJ was playing when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

[Hyuck]

where are you?

[Hyuck]

can’t see you

You lifted your head to look around the crowded living room in hopes of finding Donghyuck. It didn’t take you long before you could spot him among the crowd, though. You could never miss him anywhere, he always stood out in your eyes. Your gaze caught his, and his lips curved a bit when he saw you.

He tried to squeeze between the people dancing in the living room in order to get to your place. “What are you looking at?” Jimin asked you when she noticed that something bothered you.

You didn’t have time to answer her, because Donghyuck grabbed your arm to smoothly turn your body around and shift your attention to him. You felt a lump in your throat, your breath trapped inside your lungs. There he stood, messy hair falling onto his eyes, black graphic shirt and jeans, a Cuban link around his neck and matching rings on his fingers contrasting with the dark colors of his outfit. He looked gorgeous.

He flashed you a smile, raising his voice so that you could hear him. “Hi” he said. He simply said hi. Yet a group of butterflies started dancing in your stomach. You said it back.

Jimin got the message and leaned in your ear. “I think I saw some girls I know from one of my classes. I’d better leave you two” she said and turned on her heel to leave.

Donghyuck waved Jimin off and grabbed your hand. He then bent a bit lower and leaned in your ear. “Should we go somewhere quieter?” he asked you, his low voice vibrating in your ear. You could only nod.

Donghyuck walked in the front and you followed behind him, still holding his hand. He led you outside the house, towards the back yard. Plastic cups were scattered all over the grassy ground, two girls passed out beside some bushes, a guy sipping alcohol from a glass bottle and dancing on his own. Yeah, parties were weird.

You felt weirded out and uncomfortable at the sight and Donghyuck sensed it. He squeezed your hand and you looked up at him. He nodded to the large swing beside the barbecue stand and motioned you to go and sit there.

You sat down on the swing and Donghyuck copied your movement. He leaned his body towards the back so that it touched the back of the swing and with a swift motion, he pushed his feet on the ground and the swing started moving. You lifted your feet off the ground and let Donghyuck rock the swing smoothly.

You sat in silence for a moment, that comfortable silence that only existed when you were with Donghyuck, which was interrupted by his honey voice. “I don’t like parties” he simply said.

You turned to look at him but he was staring into the void in front of him. “ I have bad memories when it comes to parties” he said.

You didn’t speak. You didn’t want to. You always let him open up to you without interrupting his stream of thoughts.

Donghyuck drew in a sharp breath. “Remember that story I told you about that party? That one when I went home the next day and threw up all over the door? Yeah that one. I couldn’t bear going to something like this again when the last time I did, I didn’t even do it for myself. Did you know that I started drinking so that kids at my new school thought I was cool? That’s how I ended up spilling my guts all over my mother’s rug.”

He turned to look at you. “Pretty disgusting, huh?” he chuckled.

You chuckled too. You lowered your gaze to your feet. “Then why did you come here tonight?” you asked him.

“I don’t know” he said without even thinking about his answer. “I guess I came for my friends again.“ He paused for a second and spoke again “And I guess I also came to see you, mostly” he trailed off.

You stilled at his words and you thanked yourself for staring at your shoes and not looking at him, because he would be able to see the embarrassingly bright red color of your cheeks.

“But you see me everyday. We hang out all the time” you said.

“I know” he said. That’s all he said. What was that even supposed to mean?

Before you could speak, Donghyuck got up from the swing and extended his arm in front of you. “Come on, let's get out of here. This party sucks, we both hate it, so why waste our time? Let’s leave. Me and you.” he said.

You looked up at him. “Hyuck,” you trailed off “as much as I hate this party and as much as I want to leave with you, I promised Jimin to keep her company” you really hated that you had to say this.

“Jimin has found other people to hang out with, she’ll be fine, I know it.” Donghyuck said, a glimpse of hope in the tone of his voice.

That glimpse vanished when you rejected his offer for the second time, the corners of his mouth dropping to a frown. “I’m sorry Hyuck, I can’t” you said.

Donghyuck nodded to himself and put his hands inside his pockets. He cleared his throat but his voice still came out a bit raspy and low. “It’s okay, I get it.”

Your heart shuttered upon seeing him like this. You really didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you had also promised Jimin to be there for her since she wanted this so much. And you couldn’t let yourself break that promise, even though it was actually a bit trivial. Because in all honesty, Jimin would really be fine.

But also a small part of you was too flustered to spend time alone with Donghyuck at that moment. You felt as if you weren’t capable of controlling your emotions; your feelings kept growing stronger and stronger, and his presence alone was enough to make you feel overwhelmed with love.

The back door opened and someone came running through it. “Donghyuck, dude!” a guy you didn’t quite recognize yelled and came to grab Donghyuck by his arm. “You’re missing out on all the fuuuun my dude, come in back insideeee we’re gonna get fucking wasted!” the guy was yelling and patting Donghyuck on the back of his neck while dragging him inside the frat house.

Donghyuck said something you didn’t quite catch, and he tried to let go of the guy’s hold on him, but he failed to do so. The guy had already taken him to the back door and inside the house.

The door closed shut behind them and you left sitting on the swing by yourself, rocking it slightly with your feet. You shivered under the cool evening breeze and wrapped your arms around your body to shield yourself from the cold.

You didn’t want to go back inside. You promised Jimin to keep her company, but a frat party was the last place you wanted to be at, at that time. You grabbed your phone and, speaking of the devil, a few texts from Jimin appeared on your screen.

[Jiminie]

spotted yangyang. pretty sure he took a girl to a room

[Jiminie]

doesn’t he a gf?

You sighed reading Jimin’s texts. You really had to have a talk with Yangyang. And Jimin, for that matter. At least you knew that he was safe and that you probably won’t have to take care of him like a baby after you leave the party.

[you]

let him be, we’ll kick his ass tomorrow

[you]

where are you?

The text you wrote was delivered for the next 15 minutes. Jimin hadn’t read your message. All of a sudden, your hands became sweaty and your chest felt heavy as if a rock had fallen onto it.

Why didn’t she text me back?

Worry started welling up inside you and you rushed inside the house looking for your best friend. The music had got louder, the crowd was bigger, the smell of alcohol and weed more prominent. You went running up and down the stairs, kicking open every single door you found on your way.

Still, Jimin was nowhere to be found.

You stood at the edge of the stairway for a second to catch your breath. You opened your phone to call her and started walking towards the bathroom, the last room you didn’t check.

The phone was beeping in your ear, but Jimin didn’t pick up. You exhaled sharply and opened the bathroom door, still holding the phone in your ear. The sweat on your palms and the rock on your chest magically disappeared when you saw Jimin kneeling in front of the toilet with an arm holding her hair back out of her face.

A sigh of relief escaped your lips and you stopped the phone call. “Thank god you’re safe. I was so freaked out you bitch” you said and crouched down beside her. “Are you okay?” you asked her.

Jimin nodded and let her hair fall down her shoulders. She wiped her lips with the back of her palm before she spoke. “I’m okay. I had a bit too much alcohol and I threw up. But I feel better now. Sorry for making you worried” she said.

You opened your arms and she fell into your embrace. You stroked her head lightly, as you could feel her warm tears wetting the fabric of your shirt on your shoulder. She promised not to drink too much, but your gut somehow knew you’d better stay there at the party because something like this would be inevitable. “It's okay Jiminie, I was the one who left you alone, I promised to keep you company” you said.

She pulled back from the hug. “I guess we both broke each other’s promise” she chuckled and you did the same.

Jimin sniffled and wiped her already dry tears. “Why are you alone? Where is Donghyuck?” she asked you.

“We were sitting outside but then a random guy came and dragged him back inside. He seemed pretty wasted” you replied.

Jimin’s eyes widened and she stood up abruptly. “Oh no, oh no no no” she said.

You stood up too. “What? Jimin, what's wrong?” you asked her curiously.

“If it's the guy I think it is, then Donghyuck might be stupid drunk right now, or even worse, under the influence. We need to find him. Now” she said and ran out the bathroom and down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps while doing so.

You followed right after her, the rock falling on your chest again. You hated parties. This was final. Things like this are unavoidable in parties, and you hated the fact that your friends had to go through shit every single time.

The music wasn’t as loud as earlier and the living room didn’t feel as crowded. Most of the people were gathered outside in the backyard, or were already passed out on the beds or the floors of the bedrooms.

You and Jimin spotted a group of people gathered in a circle in the middle of the living room. Everybody was sitting on the carpeted floor, bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere around them. You noticed that a guy was holding a blunt and kept rotating it to every person gathered in that circle. Oh no. 

Their voices were mixed in with the music coming from the DJ set, so all you could see was their mouths moving without saying anything meaningful. The smoke of the blunt made the living room foggy and your lungs were struggling to work properly in between the crowded room.

The stinging sensation in your eyes caused by the smoke and flashing lights made your eyes watery and you could not tell apart any face in the crowd, except for Jimin who was standing next to you.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” Jimin whispered.

You rubbed your eyes in order to clear your vision without even caring if this would ruin your makeup. The faces on the people sitting on the floor became clearer, and it didn’t take you long before you spotted the familiar chocolate eyes looking drowsy, honey fingers placing the blunt in between soft plump lips.

A girl passed Donghyuck the blunt and he took a long and slow drag from it, exhaling the smoke into the thick air creating smoke rings. He then gave the blunt to the person next to him and he leaned back supporting his body with his elbows.

Donghyuck was wasted. Whatever that guy did to him in such a little time got to him immediately. His chocolate eyes were drowned in a pool of red, his hair looking messier than before and his clothes were all wrinkled.

You stood there frozen looking at him. If you had tried to keep him away from that guy, he wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. He had told you that he was pressured by other people to do stuff he didn’t want to do, but was he that naive to let this happen to himself once again? How many times has that even happened before? 

Your thoughts had carried you away, your vision was blurry again and your ears had blocked away all the sounds. An arm slung around your shoulders and you jolted up at the sudden touch.

“Where have you been bestie? You came rrright at the perfect time. We’re playing spin the bottle” Yangnyang said drowsily, his eyes painted in the same red shade as Donghyuck’s.

“Oh you’re here too, come on, sit down” he said to Jimin and dragged us both to the circle on the floor. He used both his arms and his full force to sit us down next to each other, and then he got up to sit across from us where he was previously sitting.

The girl to your left offered you the blunt but you rejected it without a second thought. Everyone was either stupid high or stupid drunk, some of them were both. You were suffocating. You felt like a total stranger there, even the existence of your own body was making you anxious.

You turned to Jimin on your right. “We need to go home” you mouthed and she kept nodding to herself constantly.

Your eyes roamed around the small circle, trying to find a way to get up and leave. But before you could do that, the chocolate pair of eyes that was now drowned in deep red, locked in with yours. A sense of déjà vu ran through your entire body, shivering under his gaze. This cannot happen again.

Jimin took your hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. She was uncomfortable and so were you. You tried to get up and leave, but the girl next to you dragged you back down.

A guy gulped down an entire bottle of alcohol before he put it down in the middle of the circle. You didn’t even bother to look at what type of alcohol it was.

Yangyang moved in closer to the middle and grabbed the bottle. “Alright, I'll go first!” he shouted and with a swift motion, he spun the bottle fast.

The bottle was spinning at a rapid speed until it came to a stop, its two ends pointing on two people you didn’t know. Apparently, you were the only one who didn’t know them because everyone else was super excited for their kiss. Or at least they were too high to understand what they were doing.

The bottle spun again. And again. And again. You lost count of how many rounds you were in, the same way your eyes were lost in Donghyuck’s. You kept him under your gaze, watching his every move and trying to justify the way he was acting. You had never seen him like this, so out of himself. What happened to the boy you saw a couple hours ago? The boy you knew ever since you were five? It felt as if he had almost lost whatever it was that made him different from the others. Right now, he looked like every other frat boy in that house.

But he didn’t really look at you. In fact, his mind seemed to be roaming around, not really paying attention to any of his surroundings except for when someone would pass him the blunt.

The bottle kept spinning and almost everyone had kissed someone else at this point. Yangyang took his fair share of the game as he kept on kissing a different girl in almost every single round.

Jimin squeezed your hand again and you realized how uncomfortable she might have felt. This time, you wouldn’t let any of the others stop you from leaving. Your friend wasn’t feeling well, but so were you. So you let go of Jimin’s hand and stood up, ready to leave.

As if fate was against you, you heard a burst of cheers and whistles coming from everyone gathered in the room. You regretted not leaving sooner, because the one end of the bottle was pointing at your side. And the other end was pointing at Donghyuck.

Cold sweat ran down your temples and a tight knot appeared in your stomach. This can’t be. You froze there standing still, staring at the bottle on your feet. You lifted your gaze from your feet to meet Donghyuck’s, who was staring back at you with a smug expression painting his face. From the corner of your eye, you could spot Yangyang grinning like a madman, his entire dentition on full display.

As if he did it on purpose, Donghyuck took a long drag of the blunt before standing up too so that his eyes leveled yours. The smugness on his face never left his features, his drowsy red eyes pouring into yours.

He slowly walked towards you, stopping right in front of your standing figure. His face was now way too close to yours. You could smell the alcohol and God knows what else on his breath, the heat of his body radiating to yours.

Donghyuck parted his lips and your breath got caught in your throat. His body somehow got even closer to yours. He tilted his head to the side and leaned against your ear. His hot breath was fanning over your ear, his lips softly grazing your skin. With a voice hoarse and low, he spoke loud enough for you to barely hear him. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ve done this before.”

You hadn’t even noticed which end of the bottle was pointing at you, but Donghyuck took the initiative himself and smacked his plump lips onto yours. His touch caught you off guard. You were standing there doing nothing, while Donghyuck placed both of his hands on the sides of your neck, his lips moving aggressively yet smoothly on top of yours.

You waited for him to pull away so that you could leave the party as soon as possible, but his intentions seemed to be different. He bit on your bottom lip in an attempt to part your lips so that you could kiss him back. You hated to admit it to yourself but it definitely worked. You parted your mouth just enough and moved your lips in sync with his smooth plump ones, the taste of alcohol from his lips transfering to yours.

The knot on your stomach kept on tightening more and more with each second passing. Your pulse rate had reached an infinite number of beats per minute and you were sure that your legs would not be able to hold you for much longer.

As if Donghyuck read your mind, he pulled away after leaving a last soft peck on your lips, removing his hands from the sides of your neck. He pulled back smirking at you as you were still standing frozen, your lips still feeling numb and swollen.. 

You had blocked away everyone else that was around you. You couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying. Your brain was still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

With a quick snap back to reality, you grabbed Jimin’s hand and turned your back to everyone else, storming off through the door of the frat house.

The night of the party you slept over at Jimin’s dorm. As soon as you exited the frat house, you went straight to Jimin’s car and you offered to drive since Jimin wasn’t in the right place to drive. She was still feeling unwell after she threw up all the alcohol she had consumed previously the same night, so you wanted to make sure she would be fine. But honestly, you weren’t feeling well either, and it wasn’t because you had drank.

Your mind kept replaying the moment Donghyuck kissed you like a video on loop. You were suddenly fifteen again, playing a silly game of spin the bottle with your friends where you happened to kiss your silly little crush. But now it happened again. And it wasn’t a silly game or a silly crush anymore.

Why was Donghyuck so complicating? All those times you hung out together, you never noticed him having any romantic intentions towards you. Everything he did or said was purely in the terms of friendship. But the way he approached you, touched you and kissed you at the party told you otherwise. Were you that blind not to notice his intentions?

You tried to excuse his behavior, saying that he was high or drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Which is not necessarily a lie. It wasn’t his fault that he got peer pressured into drinking and behaving like one of the frat boys. He is the complete opposite of a troublemaker and ill-intended person; no wonder people found it so easy to talk him into things. 

Plus, it was only just a game. He sure didn’t think of it as something much of a big deal, so why would you give it so much importance? 

You mentally slapped yourself for thinking like this, because Jimin, who was already fast asleep, would yell at you for excusing Donghyuck’s behavior. He’s not a kid, he’s a grown-up, he knows what he’s doing, she would say. You had to wait until the morning to hear her scolding. The thing is, she wouldn’t be completely wrong about this.

During the thunderstorm of thoughts pouring inside your brain, a bold lightning struck in between. What if you confessed to him? Your heart couldn’t bear hiding what it felt for any longer. At that moment, you didn’t care if it would ruin your relationship with Donghyuck. He has acted recklessly enough quite a few times now, so you were allowed to be reckless for once too. He had to know how you felt, because this is what would make you feel at ease with yourself. He can’t find it so easy to kiss you in a drunk game and not feel anything either. After the spark that lit up with the touch of your lips and the butterflies that danced around the knot in your stomach, you knew you had to tell him. But the problem was that you didn’t know how to do it. 

For the meantime, you had curled up in Jimin’s bed hugging yourself tightly, crying your eyes out until sweet sleep brushed over them and closed them shut.

The morning of the next day you and Jimin went out to grab breakfast together. She was still feeling a bit weird because of last night’s events, but she said that a plate of chocolate chip pancakes would cure her hangover.

You were fiddling with your fork, scraping it at the surface of the plate, a screeching noise coming from it. Jimin visibly shivered at the sound and you stopped it.

“So,” Jimin began, swallowing a big piece of the pancakes, “wanna talk about last night?” she asked.

You put your fork down and sat back, crossing your arms. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. Everything is so confusing” you answered.

“Um, that’s exactly why we need to talk about it” Jimin said. She drank a full glass of water and then set it down on the table with a thud. It was so loud, you thought that the table might have broken.

“Donghyuck literally kissed you and we’re gonna completely ignore that? Come on Y/n, we cannot pretend it didn’t happen. Well, at least you cannot pretend it didn’t happen” Jimin said.

“Drop it Jimin, he was drunk, or high, or whatever.”

“No he was not. Well he was, but not that much. He knew what he was doing. Look, Y/n, Donghyuck has been a great friend to you and I know how much you love him for that. But when it comes to the romantic part of your relationship, he’s been nothing but an ass.”

You sighed and didn’t say anything in return. Jimin was right. He really was an ass when it came to romantic relationships. But you couldn’t ignore your feelings. You knew the way you felt when he touched you, when he leaned close to your ear and whispered to you, when his lips danced with yours.

The question is, did he feel the same?

You broke the silence by speaking up. “I think I’m gonna confess to him” you said.

Jimin almost choked on her food. She started coughing and you immediately got up and patted her on her back to prevent any accidents. You filled in her glass with water and helped her drink a bit.

“You what?!” Jimin practically screamed and you were thankful that the restaurant was not full that morning.

“I thought about it last night and I can’t keep suppressing my feelings, But I don’t know how to do it and I still think that Donghyuck might not like me back, hell, he only sees my as a friend, but at the same time I felt it when he kissed me, it felt different than the first time he did it back at that goodbye party before high school and God I hate parties becau-“

“Hey hey hey! Calm down bestie” Jimin interrupted you. You were panting, trying to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you went on an auto-rant mode until after Jimin spoke.

“It’s okay, I know it’s hard to do it. But if you finally feel confident enough to tell him, you should do it. We’ll think of a way to do that, together.” Jimin reassured you and you nodded to yourself.

Speaking of the devil, your phone screen lit up and a ting sound echoed in the room. You picked it up, only to see a text from Donghyuck.

[Hyuck]

see you at the park later?

You sighed again and made a mental note to text him back in a minute when you would have calmed down from your previous outbreak.

You really had to tell him, and you had to do it soon.

Despite your initial denial, you agreed to meet Donghyuck later that day at the park, at your usual spot. You were contemplating whether to meet him or not, because even though you wanted to confess, your anxiety and fear of a bad outcome got the best of you. 

You didn’t mind if you got rejected. You really didn’t care at all. At that moment, you just wanted to get it out of your chest. A few weeks ago, you would be dreading the possibility of Donghyuck rejecting your feelings and ruining your friendship. But right now you had none of that in mind.

You rode your bike on the way to the park in order to clear your mind with some fresh air. The sun had almost set and the park was becoming emptier. You spotted Donghyuck sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree trunk. He had rode there on his bike too.

You went up to him and he only noticed your presence until after you sat down beside him. He turned his head to your side and he flushed you one of his precious bright smiles, the one that always made your heart skip a bit.

You didn’t want to lie to yourself, but your confidence from earlier magically vanished the moment you saw his face.

“How have you been? It was a mess last night” you spoke first and his smile dropped at the sound of your voice, his plump lips forming a soft frown, eyes falling down to his lap.

“Don’t remind me of that” Donghyuck said. He paused for a second before he spoke again. “I actually wanted to apologize for that. For whatever happened. I clearly didn’t mean anything I did or said, so if I did anything bad or weird, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away, but guess what! I did nothing but that. I’m sorry.”

You waited for him to finish with what he wanted to say before you said anything else. You went closer to him and rubbed his back in sympathy.

It took you a while to take in everything he said. What did he mean by “I didn’t mean anything I said or did”? Did he regret kissing you? Didn’t he feel the same spark, the same tingle, the same knot in his stomach?

You tried to push these thoughts away and focus on your feelings. It was time you put your feelings first, or rather, yourself. Your heart was beating out of your chest, blood rushing into your cheeks, as you gathered all your confidence and courage before you spoke up.

“Donghyuck?” you said in a soft, quiet voice, barely above a whisper. Donghyuck lifted his head, his chocolate eyes diving deep into yours, his skin glimmering under the moonlight like frozen honey.

That’s when your voice got stuck in your throat, and you stood there staring at him and he was staring back at you. “Wanna go on a ride with our bikes? To clear our minds?” you said.

He nodded and his plump lips curved upwards, his eyes creasing a bit on the sides. This is not what you wanted to say, but at least you said something.

You wanted to say so much more. So many things occupied the back of your head, you wanted to scream at him for giving you all these mixed signals, you wanted to scold him for acting so immature, you wanted to hug him and tell him that he’s too good for this world, you wanted to feel his touch and warmth on your body. But you did nothing for it.

You had to think of a way to confess to him without having to say any words. Otherwise, you would fuck up. Or you wouldn’t be able to do it at all, and you would be left with the burden upon your chest.

In the meantime, you were reminded how beautiful you felt every time you were with him. You relaxed, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you frowned, you were stressed and then you were not. There was only one boy in all the world that could wake up every single emotion inside you and that boy was none other than Lee Donghyuck.

You still quite couldn’t put your finger on what it was that made him so different from the other boys. Maybe the fact that he was just a guy, like everyone else, but he seemed so gorgeous in your eyes. Maybe it was because you knew him in a way no one else did. That’s why you felt the need to share your feelings with him, because no matter what, you somehow knew that he would always love you back, even as just a friend. 

You were still mad at him for acting this way. But you could not completely ignore the person you knew because of one reckless incident. You knew Donghyuck very well, and you knew that he was better than this. You weren’t in the right mood to confront him after seeing how bad he felt with himself, so you chose to put whatever happened at the party towards the back of your head for a while and enjoy your time with him.

There is always the right time for everything.

“Aeri broke up with me” Yangyang announced, with a frown on his face that could reach the floor.

“She did? Yeah, I’m not surprised. You shouldn’t be either” you said.

“But why?” Yangyang whined.

“Are you serious right now?” Jimin spoke up “You literally hook up with every other girl, plus, you never gave her any attention! And you have the audacity to cry about it.”

You were walking on campus, heading towards your respective classes. It had been two days since the frat party, and Yangyang’s girlfriend found out about his doings and she finally snapped.

Donghyuck caught up to you and joined the conversation. “Oof, I found you guys, I was looking for you everywhere. Wait what happened?” he asked as soon as he noticed Yangyang’s frown in his expression.

“Aeri happened” you said.

“Who's Aeri?” Donghyuck asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Jimin was the one to speak up this time. “Yangyang’s girlfriend. Well, now ex-girlfriend. It took her a bit long to come to her senses but I’m happy she finally did.” She turned to Yangyang and slapped him in the back of his head. “See, you never even mentioned her name, you idiot! You’re gross, honestly” Jimin said with a disgusted expression.

Donghyuck smiled slightly at Jimin’s comment, but none of them saw him but you. Was it just your idea or did he look extra fine today?

Jimin walked to your side and linked her arm with yours. “Now if you will excuse us boys, we have to talk about girl things, mhm?” Jimin said and dragged you away from them, leaving them walking behind you.

“So, I thought of the perfect idea” Jimin whispered, lowering her head.

“About what?” you asked.

“You will make a quiz and send it to him” Jimin said. You stopped at your track to take in what she just said. “What?”

“You want to confess to Donghyuck, right? So I did some research and came across this quiz that you supposedly send to your crush and then they have to respond and send it back to you I guess. What do you think?” Jimin said.

“It sounds childish. Yeah I don’t think it will work” you said.

“But why? Let’s give it a try. Please” Jimin whined and you couldn’t do anything but agree with her. “Okay, listen. I’ll see what I’ll do. If I feel confident enough to send it to him then we’re good, otherwise we’ll have to think of something else” you said.

Jimin screeched and hugged you tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you! Oh my god, I really think it will work. Plus, it’s not gonna be a face to face confession so don’t be nervous about it. You got this. I’ll meet you later after classes to work on it. Love you bestie!” Jimin said and ran off to her class, leaving you walking on your own in the campus.

Maybe her idea wasn’t that bad after all. This couldn’t go too wrong, right?

Later that day you met Jimin at your favorite café. You found her sitting at your usual table, scrolling on her phone.

Yangyang decided to tag along this time too. You bumped into him on your way out of campus and invited him for coffee too. You didn’t tell Jimin about it, but you were sure she wouldn’t mind.

You sat down next to her, and Yangyang went for the seat on the other side of the table, taking out his phone.

“Let’s start, take out your laptop” Jimin said and you did so. You opened an empty form sheet and stared at the cursor appearing and disappearing on the screen. “Well, how do I start?” you asked.

Jimin took the lead and turned the laptop to her side so that she could type on the keyboard easier. “So, we'll start with his name. Write something like, ‘Hi Donghyuck, if you’re receiving this it’s because I have a big fat crush on you and I don’t know how to tell you-‘”

“Shhhh,” you interrupted her “don’t say his name” you whisper shouted.

Yangyang raised his head from his phone screen and joined the conversation. “Don’t worry about it bestie, it’s not as if we don’t know about it. It’s so obvious that you like Hyuck to the point it hurts my eyes every time I see you looking at him. Can’t you be more discreet about it? What the fuck are you two even doing by the way?”

You were left speechless and kept blinking, staring at Yangyang. Of course he would figure it out, he’s been your best friend since you were literally babies. You shouldn’t be surprised by this.

“We’re making a confession quiz to help Y/n tell Donghyuck that she likes him. I saw it online and apparently it works wonders” Jimin said.

Yangyang stayed silent for a few seconds before he started laughing hysterically. You and Jimin looked at each other and then back at Yangyang, waiting for him to stop with his laughing outburst. 

You waited until he finally caught his breath, wiping a tear that slipped from the corner of his eye with his finger. “You guys are seriously so funny” he said.

“What's so funny about it, Yangyang? Hm?” Jimin asked him.

“I just find it such a stupid idea. Don’t you think it’s a bit childish? It won’t work” he said.

“That's what I thought too, but I’m gonna give it a try” you said.

“Okay, whatever” Yangyang said and went back to scrolling on his phone.

“Don’t give him any notice, Y/n. Let’s move on” Jimin said and started typing on the keyboard.

“So, we'll start with questions such as ‘Did you know that I liked you?’ and ‘If yes, then how did you know?’ and then ‘Do you like me back?’ and stuff” Jimin spoke while typing at the same time.

“Wait Jimin, don’t you think these are a bit too straightforward?” you asked. Jimin stopped typing and looked at you dead in the eye. “Are you kidding me? This is how a confession works, hello?” Jimin answered, full of irony. Through the corner of your eye, you saw Yangyang scoffing.

“Okay so next,” Jimin started typing again “you need to ask him the important stuff, which is what he thinks of you. And that includes what his first impression of you was, how attractive he finds you and how much he likes your personality.”

“How about we ask him something like ‘Is this awkward?’ because trust me, it probably is” you were the one who suggested a question this time.

Jimin wasn’t entirely sure if you were joking or not, be she agreed and typed it after the previous one. “Now, let’s end it with a precious moment between the two of you. One that he remembers, it might be anything” Jimin said.

She typed fast, her fingers running on top of the keyboard. Her eyes never left the screen, following the letters without even peaking at the keyboard to see what she was typing. She then pressed the enter key with all her strength and sat back on her chair. “And we’re done. It’s sent” she said.

The moment she said that the quiz was sent, you started trembling. You didn’t feel nervous up until that point. What if everything went downhill after this? It’s just a stupid quiz, you thought. Sure, the quiz was stupid, but your crush wasn’t. You were worried that once Dongyuck sees the quiz, he’ll start seeing you differently. You were only hoping that this differently didn’t mean negative, because if it did, your entire relationship with him would change. And you didn’t want to lose such an important person in your life over a not-so-stupid crush.

You didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the next day. You were sure about it because ever since Jimin sent him the confession quiz, he hasn’t left your mind. You kept looking for him everywhere but not because you wanted to see him. It was rather the opposite. You knew that if you saw his face after knowing that you had confessed to him, you wouldn’t be able to utter a single word. You avoided him.

You had to thank him, though, for making your job easier. Not a single sight of him on campus for the entire day. Good news.

But the bad news was that he didn’t text you throughout the day at all, which was odd. He would usually ask to meet at the park, or just text you about not anything of importance. But there was no sign of him that day.

A lot of thoughts formed in your mind at the same time. In the worst case scenario, there was something wrong with him. In the best case scenario, he felt way too awkward because of the confession quiz and he didn’t want to do anything with you. You couldn’t explain how this was the best case scenario, but you were worried sick about him. So you hoped for the latter.

You didn’t want to text him or call him though. You wanted to avoid him, right? Your current behavior didn’t match the confidence you had a couple days ago. It felt like you were more intimate with him now, you had exposed a piece of your inner self and you were scared that your actions would make him feel uncomfortable.

Yet, you decided to give him time. You wanted to wait for his response. Whatever it would be. You thought that your confession would help you ease your mind, but you’ve been thinking about him even more now. What if he didn’t feel the same? Of course, you would respect his feelings. You can’t force people to like you, or love you. But deep down, you knew it would hurt. You would still continue to love him even if he didn’t love you back. You cannot turn on and off feelings like a light switch. Loving him took a long time and getting over him would take even longer. You didn’t want to get over him. You probably couldn’t. So you wanted to keep loving him and hoped that maybe, there was a slight chance that he would love you back.

However, you didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the day after that either. But this time, you didn’t know if it was because you were avoiding him or because he just didn’t come to any of his classes.

Worry washed over you when neither Yangyang or Jimin had heard of him. “I thought he would be talking with you” Yangyang told you. Yeah, you thought the same thing.

After your classes ended for the day, you decided to go by his dorm and see him in person. You still felt like avoiding him but you didn’t have another choice at this point. You wanted to see him.

You put on your earphones and let the music keep you company while walking. Your heart rate was slowly increasing with each step you took, but you couldn’t explain if it was because you felt anxious or because your heart followed the beat of the music.

After listening to a couple of songs, you found yourself standing right outside Donghyuck’s dorm door. Taking off your earphones, you stood there still, waiting. You raised your arm hesitantly, knuckles touching the wooden surface of the door. You slightly pulled your hand away from the door and then your knuckles touched the door again.

Knock. Knock.

You drew a step back, arm falling to your side. And you waited.

One, two, three, four, five, si-

Donghyuck appeared behind the door, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair messy and eyes droopy.

“Hi, um, sorry d-did I wake you up?” you said.

“Um, no it’s fine, uh, is there something wrong?” Donghyuck said, rubbing his eye with his fingers.

And then you noticed the flush color painting his cheeks and the way he kept his eyes on the ground, not trying to maintain eye contact.

“I was just worried, you know? We haven’t seen you in two days and I just wanted to see if you-“

“I’m fine Y/n, there’s nothing to worry about, now please, I was in the middle of something so, uh, I’ll see you later, bye” Donghyuck interrupted you and closed the door right in your face, without even sparing you a glance.

What was this all about? Why was he acting like this?

You blinked away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes and walked away.

“Girl, you’re not the one avoiding him, he’s the one avoiding you!” Jimin said, munching on a cheeseburger. 

She swallowed her bite and spoke again. “What I think is, he’s in love with you too, but he’s an even bigger coward than I thought he was. I believe he got so flustered by the quiz we sent him, but don’t worry, he’ll come to his senses sooner or later.”

You rested your head on your palm and sighed heavily. “I don’t know Jiminie, his behavior is so confusing lately. I kinda regret sending him that quiz”.

“Uh oh, don’t say that again. You confessed and well done for that, so now it’s up to him to decide how the relationship between you two will go. Don’t blame yourself for how a man thinks. You never know what goes on inside those pea sized brains of theirs” Jimin said.

“So you say that he’s ignoring me because he likes me back?” you asked, a question which was addressed more to yourself.

“That's exactly what I’m saying,” Jimin said. “I mean, he couldn’t even look at you and his cheeks were all blushy and stuff? Girl, do we see the same things? Because this clearly shows he has lost his shit over you.”

You remained silent for a while, leaving Jimin to eat her cheeseburger in peace and allowing yourself to sort all of your thoughts that were scrambled inside your mind. Maybe she was right. Again. Her intuition regarding people’s feelings and behaviors is remarkable. She always left you wondering how she could be so good at reading other people.

You thought you were good at it too, until this boy named Lee Donghyuck came into your life. It wasn't that hard to understand him as a little boy, but now that you’re all adults, it seems like he has built walls around his heart and it’s not easy to read him anymore. The problem was that you didn’t know why he did this. He used to allow himself to be open and vulnerable with you. At least you thought so.

Now you are left wondering what’s in his mind and what is it that makes him act this way. Was the quiz that awkward? Did he see you in a different way now?

Questions like this kept messing with you and you wished you could unsend that quiz if it were to prevent this outcome. But you decided to give him a little bit more time. You were friends after all, right? Friends always come back to each other, no matter what. Right?

The next couple of days Donghyuck had been ignoring you still. Jimin said there was no point in feeling sad about it and that he would just snap one moment and realize what an asshole he was.

You hadn’t told Yangyang about any of that. He had mentioned the quiz once, asking you something like how you made it and what you wrote exactly, but nothing more specific about Donghyuck. So you decided to let it go, he wouldn’t understand anyway.

You were sitting at the park alone, leaning against a tree while watching the sun slowly hiding behind the hill, waiting for the moon to rise and take its place in the sky. The cheerful screams of little kids were gradually fading away and the park was becoming quieter, the only sound interrupting the silence from time to time was the barking of dogs.

You felt peaceful. You found a moment in time to have for yourself, a small escape from all of last week’s dramatic events. You breathed in the fresh air, you let your body relax and your mind roam around the scenery of nature in front of you.

This inner serenity didn’t last long though. Your phone chimed in your pocket and the screen lit up, the intense brightness hurting your eyes due to the contrast with the now darker sky.

You lowered the brightness in order to take a better look at the text on your screen. You squinted your eyes a bit further, this time not because of the brightness.

[Hyuck]

i really need to talk to you

it’s important

you know where to find me

i’m at your favorite place

You kept rereading Donghyuck’s texts over and over. So he ignores me for days and now all of a sudden he wants us to meet and he puzzles me with a riddle? What the hell?

You turned off your phone and stared blankly in front of you, trying to think of what place Donghyuck was talking about. You didn’t even care about what he wanted to tell you. You had to find him first.

The gears inside your brain got to work, spinning quickly and digging through your memories to help you find the answer. But you were already in your favorite place. The park. At least it was your favorite at the moment. So if he were at the park, where could he be? You would be able to see him by now.

The gears in your brain suddenly stopped moving and the light bulb shone brightly above your head. You knew exactly where he was. And it wasn’t the park. You grabbed your things quickly and rushed out of the park, heading towards the place you could never imagine that you’ll ever see again.

You had been walking for only ten minutes and your legs were hurting and started feeling wobbly. The one time you actually needed your bike, you didn’t have it. A sigh left your lips and you continued walking, looking at your phone from time to time in case Donghyuck texted you something else or called you.

You could tell that you were almost there by the red and gold lighting attacking your eyes, contrasting with the darkness of your surroundings. You squinted your eyes as a reaction to the sudden appearance of light, walking towards the source of red and gold. The smell of butter popcorn lured you in and that’s how you knew you were at the exact place you needed to be.

You stood under the bright sign, the same white balloons climbing up the pillars on each side of the gate, confetti sprinkled and glued in between them, fairy lights trailing upwards to the glowing sign. ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.

You stood in awe. You never thought you would visit this place again. It's been years since the last time you visited the amusement park and it felt strange yet so familiar sitting there, looking at the place that felt like your childhood home.

Your eyes were roaming around and you just stood still, not moving a single step further. For a moment, you had forgotten the reason why you were there in the first place.

The scent of the familiar cologne was roaming in the air, snapping you out of your thoughts. Donghyuck cleared his throat and you turned around to face him.

He looked beautiful. The lights of the amusement park were reflecting in his eyes, his hair fell softly covering his forehead, his plump lips curved upwards to a smile.

You noticed that he held his arms behind his back, but you didn’t question it. You just stared right into his eyes, just like he stared into yours. “Hi” he said, his voice blurred among the music and random screams from little kids running around the amusement park.

“Hi” you greeted him back, and then both of you remained silent, looking at each other. Your eyes started stinging from keeping them open for a long time, so you lowered your gaze to your feet.

Donghyuck sensed the awkwardness and cleared his throat again before he spoke up. “I’m sorry, Y/n” he said.

Your head jolted up at the sound of his honey voice and your gaze locked in with his. You parted your lips to speak, but he beat you to it. “I’m sorry. I know my behavior was shit. I was an asshole. I was ignoring you when I shouldn’t. I’m surprised that you came to see me after the way I treated you. So thank you" he said.

You didn’t want to speak. You didn’t have the courage to do so, but you also didn’t know what to tell him. Instead, you waited for him to continue talking.

Donghyuck’s gaze shifted from your eyes to other places around him and he pursed his lips. “You know, I received that quiz you sent me” he trailed off.

You gulped at the mention of the quiz and suddenly your heartbeat picked up a pace so fast that was probably beyond human.

“I didn’t-” Donghyuck started, “I didn’t send it back to you because I wanted to answer it now, with you here” he said.

You found yourself incapable of speaking at that moment. You simply nodded and diverted your gaze back to your feet.

“Please look at me Y/n” Donghyuck said and you froze, slowly lifting your head to see him looking directly at you. You could tell he was nervous by the way he inhaled sharply and the soft red color that painted his cheeks.

“I didn’t know you felt this way about me,” he started, “so when I saw that quiz I was so troubled. Maybe you were obvious with it, maybe not, but what’s certain is that I was too nervous around you to even notice anything.”

You tried to process his words and come to a conclusion. Everything that came out of his mouth didn’t make sense to you. Why would he be nervous around me?

Donghyuck gulped and continued. “Do you remember how we met?” he asked, but the question was mostly addressed to himself rather than you. You smiled at the memory. How could you forget such a pretty boy?

“It was here, this exact place. We were both running, we bumped into each other, fell down and then dropped your cotton candy” he said and started laughing. You did the same.

“And then we became friends. Inseparable friends. You have always been the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. You are kind, funny, you make me feel comfortable, you’re always there for me even though I behave so shitty sometimes” he said.

“And you’re so beautiful. I find myself staring at you when you’re looking away and I just ask myself how can a person be this beautiful” he said, his voice getting gradually quieter, just a little bit louder than a whisper.

“Do you know why I stopped contacting you when I left?” Donghyuck asked, this time the question addressed to you.

You cleared your throat before speaking, voice barely audible. “No.” It was the first time you spoke after greeting him.

Donghyuck shifted a bit, balancing his weight on one leg. “Because I liked you so much I couldn’t bear talking to you, knowing that I wasn’t able to see you, touch you and tell you how much I missed you” he said. “I thought that maybe, if I didn’t talk to you again, maybe it would hurt less than it did.”

You felt your lips drying, eyes widening upon hearing these words. This can’t be real. Yes, you wanted him to like you back, but you never expected it to be true. Even if you believed in a slight chance that he might like you back, it never occurred to you that it might actually be true.

“Hyuck, what are you talking about?” you asked him, not believing a single word he was saying.

“I’m talking about how much I like you, Y/n. Fuck, I might even be in love with you. I don’t know, I always get this weird feeling around you and I can’t get it to stop! I keep thinking about you and how I want to be able to kiss you without finding excuses with these stupid spin the bottle games! I like you so fucking much Y/n, I don’t know how to act.”

You stood still, frozen. So this is really happening, you thought. All this time you were worried about your feelings for Donghyuck when he was feeling the exact same way towards you. Your heart fluttered to the sound of his confession and you felt like smiling so hard until your cheeks hurt.

“Please say something Y/n” Donghyuck whispered. You didn’t say anything though. You didn’t have to. Instead, you took a couple steps further and stood right in front of him, placing your hands on each side of his neck, smacking your lips onto his.

He responded immediately, parting his lips slightly to kiss you back. He removed one arm from behind his back to cup your cheek with his hand and he kissed you gently and genuinely.

The knot in your stomach was untied, releasing the butterflies it had been holding in for so long. Donghyuck’s plump lips moved in sync with yours, his soft touch on your cheek sending streaks of warmth down your entire body.

You slowly pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him in his eyes, both of you smiling as hard as ever. “Of course I like you too, dumbass. I’ve liked you ever since I met you.” You said and Donghyuck smiled even harder than before, if it was even possible.

You removed your hands from his neck, dropping them to your side. “What is behind your back?” you asked him eagerly.

Donghyuck dropped his hand from your cheek too and brought his other arm from behind his back, only to reveal a stick of fluffy pink cotton candy.

Your eyes widened at the sight. It was the last thing you expected to see.

“You know, I promised to buy you one because I had dropped it when we bumped into each other, but I never had the chance to do that, so...” Dongyuck said and you slammed your body into his arms, grinning hard and laughing.

You squeezed him tightly and he returned your embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist, his head finding its way to rest in the crook of your neck.

“I think I love you, Donghyuck” you softly said in his ear.

Donghyuck’s grip on you tightened more and he breathed in. “Y/n, I know I love you” he said, just loud enough so that you and only you could hear him.

Donghyuck pulled back slightly so that he could see your face. He was still holding you tightly, as if he physically couldn’t let you go. As you were lost in the pool of honey in his eyes, he spoke with a low voice. “Do you think you’ll finally be able to beat me in bumper cars?” he said.

You laughed at his question and his smile grew wider to the sound. “No, you’re too slow. I actually pity you” you said.

Donghyuck poked the inside on his cheek with his tongue and raised his eyebrow at your answer. “Oh yeah? Let’s find out, bitchass” he said and linked his fingers with yours to guide you to the amusement park.

Just like that, your heart was full. It was right at the place it needed to be from the very beginning. It was finally home.

The doorbell chimed behind you and a chill breeze entered the inside of the diner for a brief second. You didn’t have to turn your head to realize that a group of high school kids entered the diner, their voices were too loud and annoying. You rolled your eyes and popped a french fry into your mouth.

It’s been about two weeks since you and Donghyuck made it official. You agreed to start a relationship that very night you confessed to each other outside the amusement park. Donghyuck only agreed to go out with you if he won three consecutive races at the bumper cars ride. Turns out you ended up crashing his car in every single round, but Donghyuck kept on saying that he didn’t really mean what he said and kissed you into agreeing to go on another date with him.

You were happy. Ever since you started dating, you found yourself enjoying the time you spent with Donghyuck even more than you did before. It’s not that many things changed, it was mostly the same things you used to do. The only difference was that neither of you was afraid to express their true feelings anymore.

You and Donghyuck were sitting next to each other at the diner booth. Donghyuck had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, while he used his other arm to grab french fries from the bowl on your table. You agreed to buy just one bowl of french fries to ease your appetite before you ordered your actual meals.

Donghyuck was talking to you about the drive-in cinema that will start working again next week. He said that they would be playing one of his favorite movies, so he practically begged you to go with him and treat it as a date as well.

“What are you guys talking about?” you heard Jimin’s voice and you looked up to see that she had just arrived with Yangyang standing there next to her. 

“Oh hey guys, we didn’t hear you entering. I was telling Y/n about the drive-in, it’ll be open again next week. Wanna go-wait-” Donghyuck started saying, but he cut himself off when he noticed that Yangyang was holding Jimin’s hand.

“Dude what?” Donghyuck asked again and you sat there staring at your friends with eyes wide open. Jimin and Yangyang were grinning at your and Donghyuck’s reactions, before they went to sit on the booth opposite of yours.

“Yup, it is exactly what you think it is. Now, what were you saying about the drive-in?” Yangyang casually joined in the conversation without addressing the matter that clearly needed to be addressed.

“Jimin, why didn’t you tell me about this? How long have you guys been going out?” you said smiling at your friends.

“Not that long, just a few days after you guys. See, I was going to tell you about it Y/n, but Yangyang thought it would be funnier if we just showed up one random day like this and let you guys figure it out on your own” Jimin said and Yangyang kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, turns out that stupid quiz you girls thought of works wonders” Yangyang said and popped one french fry that he stole from the bowl.

“Wait, Yangyang, you were the one to send Jimin the quiz? Oh how the tables turn” you said and he waved you off.

You weren’t even the slightest bit surprised that Yangyang and Jimin were dating now. Honestly, it was quite obvious that there was something going on between them, but both of them were way too stubborn to admit it. Was it that way with you and Donghyuck too?

The four of you spent time at the diner that night. The feeling of being carefree and relaxed around your friends reminded you of the time you used to spend all together back in high school. It really felt as if you never lost touch with one another, everything was back to normal. Except this time, your heart felt at ease too.

It was getting quite late and the diner was almost empty now. The four of you didn’t really have the heart to check the time and make a move to get up and leave, you were having way too much time to just call it a night.

You had now ordered a second round of drinks, non-alcoholic though because none of you was really that good at staying sober. Instead, you just stuck with fizzy drinks and sodas.

Yangyang emptied out his second bottle of coke before he slammed it on the table. He licked his lips and sighed. “Wow, this was a good one” he said. But this wasn’t the only thing he had in mind. You could tell by the smugness of his expression.

Yangyang smirked and then lifted his head to flash one of his signature wide grins. “I don’t wanna go home yet, guys. So, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?” he asked.

Jimin kicked his leg under the table, Donghyuck sat up and smacked him in the head and you stretched your arm to pinch his nose. The four of you burst out laughing, thinking about how things would have turned out if it wasn’t for Yangyang’s stupid ideas.

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I Hate That I Love You

Summary: You thought you wouldn't see him after high school, but what happens when your unknown new roommate, who happens to be your enemy, moves in unexpectedly. Will you get through your first year of college or will old wounds from the past come back to light?

Pairing: Jaehyun x fem. reader

Genre: slowburn, angst, fluff, smut | enemies to lovers!au + college!au + roommates!au

Word count: 14.1 k

Warnings: tons of bickering, sexual tension, alcohol, profanities (tons), suggestive themes, fingering, blowjob, deep throating, daddy kink, unprotected sex

A/N: She is finally here! I am so sorry for the long wait as things came up. This is the longest fic I've ever written and got carried away with it. The original draft ended up being around 20k haha. I kind of rushed the ending so I apologize in advance also if there are any typos. Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy reading this and please let me know what you think :)

(words in italicized are thoughts)

You and Johnny have been best friends since your first year of high school and if it wasn't for him, you wouldn't have survived getting through those four years. People assumed there was more than platonic, but you both made it clear you saw each other as siblings. During your senior year, you began to feel the pressure of living life as a college student in the real world. The thought alone gave you anxiety about starting college.

"I just don't want to live in a dorm with a stranger. I'll suck it up eventually, but what if they are or become a serial killer? What if they bring hooks up every night? Oh my god, what if they're unorganized?" you rant during one of your study sessions.

Johnny laughs at your never-ending scenarios. "You watch way too many Lifetime movies and Criminal Minds you know that? I hardly doubt that will ever happen to you y/n."

You slap his arm for making fun of you, "I'm serious Johnny. A lot of shit happens in college no one talks about or it's on the ten o'clock news." You let out a deep sigh and pout. He looks at you and sees you furrow your eyebrows together, something you always do when you're so far in your head thinking of every negative outcome.

"How about this. Since you're so freaked out and there's no convincing you otherwise you won't be on the news, why don't we move in together? I was going to get my own apartment anyways from the money I saved up. We can split the rent and you won't have to worry about being killed in your sleep." he playfully bumps his shoulders into yours.

"I wouldn't want you to do that. You've done so much for me already. That is the last thing I'd want you to do J-"

"Y/n, you're basically my little sister and aren't they always annoying or something? I have to protect you from these creeps on campus." When he sees you're still unconvinced, he continues on. "Trust me, you're not making me do anything I don't want to do. You're my best friend. If we can make it through high school together, then we can make it through college and living together."

You smile and thank him, "On one condition though, please don't cock block me when I'm trying to get laid."

You scrunch your face at the thought, "Ew, I didn't need to know that. Just don't have sex when I'm there please."

Over the next few days, you both do apartment searching until you finally settle for one. It's the perfect place for you both and just five minutes away from the university. With all the build up anxiety about starting college thrown out the window, you couldn't wait to start a new chapter in your life.

Just two weeks before the semester started, you were the first to move into your new shared apartment with Johnny. Johnny was busy left and right at the coffee shop and would be moving in later in the week. As you walk into your new home, you couldn't help but count your blessings.

The apartment was spacious enough to roam and not suffocate one another. By the door was the kitchen and dining room to the left and in the center was the living room with a nice balcony view to the city. It was a two bedroom apartment and thankfull both rooms were on opposite ends of each other. The only downside was the one shared bathroom, but you didn't mind it. You knew Johnny well enough to know he isn't the messy type and cleans up after himself.

You went out to get some fresh air and explore your neighborhood. You could smell the autumn season lingering in the air as summer says goodbye. You see kids running around at a nearby park, couples out on strolls, people walking their dogs, and a few joggers pass you by. You scan into the local shops and discovered a hidden coffee place right around the corner. You knew Johnny would be pleased and excited. That man and his coffee addiction.

As you come closer to your apartment building, you see a car filled up with moving boxes. You hope that those people will also enjoy their new beginning just like you. As you get off the elevator and into your apartment, you see boxes with labels on them. Hmm, I guess Johnny is moving in today. Before you could ponder any longer, your phone rings and it's the man himself.

"Hey! I just came back from walking the neighborhood. Do you need any help moving your stuff?" You make your way into the kitchen to grab a cup of water. You notice there was an LP turntable on the counter and you don't remember Johnny owning one.

"No um, I'll be there in a minute." He sounded off but before you could ask, he hung up. You look at your screen confused until you hear a grunt coming from his room. Thinking nothing of it, you make your way into the living room before you stop in your tracks. You must look like a deer in headlights because the person in front of you mirrors your expression.

"What are you doing here?" you both say in unison.

"I live here."

"This is my apartment."

What the actual fuck is happening?

"Noooo, I live here with Johnny." You say crossing your arms over your chest.

"That's cute, but actually I live here with John." Jaehyun mirrors you and crosses his arms with a smirk.

"Then you must have another friend with the same name and got lost on your way to your apartment. So if you would so kindly get out of my apartment, that would be great Jung." You smiled cheekily.

"I'm not going anywhere. This is my apartment with Johnny Suh."

You look at the ceiling pondering, "Hmm, that's funny because I don't recall you being there when we signed the lease or having your name anywhere on my contract so ha, I win. Now get out."

"Funny because I remember signing the papers with Johnny and I don't remember seeing you present or your name, so I win." he claps back.

You glare at him before you walk over to the door opening it and grabbing the nearest box to leave it outside.

"Hey! What are you doing? Put that down!" he yell out as he walks over to retrieve his boxes while you grab another one. You knew it was useless with your height difference, but you were determine to get him out of your home. "You're not living here Jung!" you yell out in frustration.

"Are you deaf? I live here. You're not living here y/n!"

The scene turns into a whole screaming match by the time Johnny walks in and assess the scene in front of him. You and Jaehyun were doing a box tug of war and the tension in the air was so thick, he could barely breathe through it. In the corner of your eye, you see your best friend standing there letting go of the box. "Oh thank God! Johnny please tell this idiot that he doesn't live here and you and I live here."

"Pff, tell her delusional ass that she doesn't live here and us bros live here carefree." he says happily.

You both start bickering again until Johnny says words you never thought you'd ever hear. "That's actually what I wanted to talk to you both about. I got offered a once in a lifetime opportunity to study and intern in New York for one of the biggest fashion companies in the world. This is everything I have worked so hard for and it's the only opportunity I have to make a name for myself. I just found out a few days ago. I swear I was going to tell you both."

You had your jaw dropped while Jaehyun makes a face of him in deep thought. If he didn't just drop the biggest bombshell on you both, he would laugh with how you both have the same expression.

You break the silence as you gather your thoughts and hug your best friend, "That is great news Johnny! But that doesn't explain why he's here."

Johnny hesitates before answering, "The dorms are all filled up this semester and Jaehyun needed a place to stay. I figured since I won't be here, I didn't want to burden you with the rent by yourself, so I told him he could stay here instead."

"I love you Johnny, but there's no way in hell I am going to live with this person."

Jaehyun fakes a hurt cry, "Yeah, Johnny I'm not living here with this maniac." You both begin to bicker until Johnny intervenes.

"Look I get it. You two aren't each other's biggest fans in the world, but this was the only solution I could come up with. If I had more time, we would have figured something out. Y/n, he's not such a bad guy after all, even though he's an ass sometimes. And Jae, she isn't such a heartless person either. You two used to be friends, shouldn't that be enough to tolerate each other for a bit?"

You were going to say something, before Johnny cuts you off again, "Hey, if you two still can't stand each other and want to kill the other, by this time next year you can terminate the lease and go seperate ways." You could feel Jaehyun burning holes through your skull.

You turn to face Jaehyun, "I stay out of your way, you stay out of mine. A year from now, we're terminating the lease and I won't have to see your disgusting face again."

Jaehyun grins as if he just won, "Deal."

"Thank you. I know this isn't easy and I'm sorry for dropping this big bombshell on you both." He gives you a small smile, "I would love to stay longer and help you unpack Jaehyun, but I have to finish my own packing since my flight leaves in two days." With that, you say your goodbyes and are once again left in what feels like your cold and tiny apartment.

"I guess we both live here." Jaehyun says as he continues to move his boxes into his room.

You roll your eyes as you take a deep breath trying to control your anger getting the best of you. You glare at him and wanted nothing more than to smack that smirk off his face. Everything about him irritated you. You wanted to curse the universe for letting this happen. Better yet, you wanted to kill Johnny for letting this happen in the first place.

"I mean it Jaehyun, we stay out of each other's way. If you bring people over, keep them in your room." He stops his movements as he walks back to you.

"Stop knitting your eyebrows together, you're going to age quicker than you already have. Besides, you're not my mother or my babysitter so I can do whatever I want."

You scowl at him before letting out a frustrated sigh. "Ugh! You are so fucking annoying!" You turn around and walk into your room slamming the door. Jaehyun just smiles at himself when he sees your reaction.

This is going to be so much fun.

Living with Jaehyun for the past couple of months have been hell for you. He was everything you feared in having a roommate. There would be unwashed dishes in the sink, unused glasses on the coffee table or any surface, his clothes would be on chairs or the couch, homework laid out everywhere on the dining table, and in your shared bathroom, his products is all over the place. He would bring girls over every other night and occassionally you would see the condom wrapper right next to the trash can.

This idiot was on the basketball team and he can't even make it in the trash.

"Jaehyun hurry the fuck up! I'm going to be late!" you rapidly knock on the bathroom door. Jaehyun has been in there for at least 30 minutes doing God knows what. Today you could not afford to be late for the third time this week, otherwise you'd miss out on attendance points.

"Stop knocking! I'm busy!" he yells back. You really wish you had gone with the apartment with two bathrooms to avoid this exact situation. You continue to knock frantically on the door before it finally swung open. You rush yourself inside not noticing a girl walking out with him. After a quick shower, you hurriedly get ready putting on light makeup, half drying you hair, and throwing your pajamas onto your bed from your door. Before you could touch the handle of the door Jaehyun blocks you.

"Move, I'm going to be late again." you try to move past him, but his broad shoulders and figure was blocking your way. "Jaehyun, I'm not in the mood."

"What you did back there was rude. I was in there with a girl." he growls.

"Oh boo hoo. Next time you want to fuck a girl, do it when I'm not here so I won't interrupt you dumbass. Now move."

He licks his lips as a mischevious look spreads across his face, "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of what exactly? Don't flatter yourself Jung, there's nothing impressive about you."

He eyes you for a second, "Don't come home tonight. I wouldn't want to be rudely interrupted again."

You knew he was pushing your buttons but you weren't about to give in. "Great talk." With that you manage to side step him and run out the door. You look at your phone for the time and you were going to be late once again.

You were in the library with your group of friends studying for one of your upcoming exams. You met Mark, Rose, and Soona in your math class and became close. You and Jungwoo have known each other since middle school, but never really talked until Johnny told him to keep an eye on you when he left for New York. Suprisingly, Jungwoo was just like Johnny and you two had a lot in common. As a joke, you would tell Johnny, Jungwoo is your new best friend.

The library suddenly erupted with giggles and whispers. When you follow everyone's gaze, there was Jaehyun and his annoying little fangirls following him. Rose and Soona whispered about the rumors surrounding Jaehyun and supposedly he fucked half of the girl's soriority. You tuned their voices out not interested in hearing about your roommates sex life.

Jaehyun saw your figure and thought he would get a little payback for that morning. He walks over to your table and stands beside you causing your entire table to stay silent except Jungwoo as he greets Jaehyun. You look up confuse and see him showing off his dimples making the girls next to you squeal.

"My apologies for my roommate's rude manners. My name is Jaehyun." He extends his hand out to the other three before he settles his arm around your shoulder giving you a tight squeeze. He feels you tense up and had to keep his compsoure from busting out laughing. "Y/n, I'm going out with the boys tonight so don't stay up and wait for me." You were too shock and confuse to say anything before he walks away smiling to himself.

Once Jaehyun was out of earshot, your three stun friends begin to ask a million questions.

"Jung Jaehyun is your roommate?" Rose said.

"As in the Jung Jaehyun?" Mark added right after.

"It's not a big deal." You say indifferently.

"Not a big deal?" Soona whispers shouts. "Y/n how could you not tell us he is your roommate? We could have been studying at your place this entire time and look at eye candy. Everyone on campus has a crush on him and you so happened to be the luckiest person to see all of him." she adds with a wink.

"Yeah well there's nothing to say except I don't have a crush on him or see the way everybody else does."

"Okay, but as our friend, study sessions are at your place from here on out." Rose says cheerly.

The rest of the study session was spent on asking you questions about Jaehyun - what was he like, what does he do, what cologne does he wear, does he walk around shirtless, have you walked in on him naked, etc. You just give them short yes or no answers too annoyed with the questions. You didn't feel like the world needed to know what happens behind close doors or the fact you and Jaehyun have walked in on each other naked on multiple occasions.

The first time you saw him naked was when he snuck out to the kitchen to grab water and not disturb the girl sleeping in his bed. You were staring at him a bit too long before he started to smirk and walks into the kitchen. The first time he saw you naked was when you were barely stepping out the shower and forgot to lock the door.

Apart from Johnny, the other person who knew your hatred for Jaehyun was Jungwoo. He has tried to ask you what happened between the two of you, but you just keep telling him there was a falling out.

"Have you ever consider fucking Jaehyun?" Jugwoo says nonchalantly as you two eat at a local diner. You cough on your water from the sudden question.

"Are you insane? Never once crossed my mind and it will never happen."

He squints his eyes at you trying to see if you're bluffing, "Then why did he hug you like there was something going on?"

"Because he's a weird ass person who stares off into space for no reason. Not to mention, he likes to get under my skin." you deadpan.

"Hmm, I don't buy it. There's something more to it than that. I'm just saying y/n, you two hate each other. Nothing's better than letting out all of your frustrations on each other. Plus it would be mindblowing sex." he winks.

You shake your head at the younger, "It's never going to happen."

"Tck tck, like Justin Bieber once said, never say never y/n." he ruffles your hair.

It was a Friday night and you were beat tired and just wanted sleep. You and Jungwoo parted ways to the comfort of your homes. Once you've arrive you grab yourself a glass of red wine to help you fall asleep faster. You let the cool alcohol run down your throat as you savour the moment. You heard a glass shatter coming from Jaehyun's room. You put your wine down on the counter and walk towards his door until you hear him grunting. You thought he was hurt and as you were about to knock, you heard a loud moan coming from a woman.

"Oh my fucking god! Fuck."

Jeez can she be any more fucking louder?

"How badly do you want to cum my slut? Hmm, f-fuck." he growls.

You were frozen in your spot hearing them moan and pant as they reached their high. In that moment, you remembered he told you not to come home for this exact reason. You scoff and walk to your room quietly as possible, your wine long forgotten on the kitchen counter.

When morning came, you made yourself coffee with eggs and toast. You decided to pretend you didn't hear Jaehyun having sex last night, but that was hard to do when you could feel his eyes burning through you. You sat down on the other end of the dining table and began to scroll through your Instagram feed. He's being too quiet for you liking before you give in.

"Hasn't anyone told you staring is rude?" you say as you continue looking at your phone. When he remains quiet, you grew more annoyed finally looking at him, "Stop looking at me like that. It's weird."

"Like what?" he beams innocently. "I'm just enjoying the view." You scoff rolling your eyes going back to your phone. "Did you enjoy the show last night?" he asks with a stupid lopsided smile.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He puts his elbows on the table and leans a bit closer, "I said, did you enjoy the show last night?"

You feel your cheeks heat up with how sexy his voice is and hope it wasn't giving you away. Snap the fuck out it. "I really don't know what you're talking about so if you're done, I'd like to eat in peace."

He chuckles softly, "You're reactions gives you away. Tck tck, I'm guessing you loved the show since you're quiet." He gives you one last look of triumph before he stands up and walks towards the door. You look up at him to see him nodding towards the kitchen counter where your glass of wine still remains.

You were about to say something when he leaves the apartment. You yell into the empty apartment, hoping he could hear it on the otherside of the wall, "The only show I enjoyed was her faking it the entire time!"

"How is it going Mr. Fashion Evaluator?" you beam at Johnny through your laptop screen. There is nothing in the world than wishing he was here instead of Jaehyun. He tells you his experiences, friends he's made, how everyone were impressed by him, and all the designers he already met.

"How is it going over there? No one is dead yet." he laughs knowing how much you and Jaehyun bicker over everything. Just before you could rant about your annoying roommate, your door abruptly opens with Jaehyun barging into your room.

"Hey! What the fuck Jaehyun!"

"Where is it? I know you have it in here." he huffs.

"I don't know what you're talking about! I don't have anything." You forgot about Johnny as anger overcomes you and throw your laptop to the side of your bed. Johnny can see the entire scene play out and how red your face was, while Jaehyun pouted his lips in concentration.

"Have you consider in that tiny brain of yours that one of your hyenas took it instead? It's just a jacket Jae-"

"You're the only other person who lives here! For all I know, you took it!" Jaehyun towered over you as you cross your arms annoyed. You wanted to slap him for being so annoying until you both hear a deep laugh coming from your laptop. Johnny couldn't hold it in any longer and went hysertical at how obvious the two of you were. He could see right through both of you.

"Hey Johnny! How's it going dude? How's New York? Met any hot models you can introduce me to." Jaehyun belly flops onto your bed and starts talking to Johnny, while you pick up the mess your roommate made. Soon as you said goodbye to Johnny, Jaehyun walks out of your room without a word.

Unfuckingbelievable.

Later that night, Jaeyhyun went out with the jacket that "you stole" and Jungwoo came over to do Saturday night movies. You both order Chinese takeout and drink bottles of soju. While you were taking a sip of your drink, Jungwoo asks you a question completely out of left field.

"Did you and Jaehyun fuck before and it was horrible and that's why you hate each other?" you started choking on your drink as you try to gasp for air, but it didn't phase Jungwoo. "I mean, I just don't get it. You hate each other, yet still live in the same apartment when you know you can just move into one of the frats or dorms."

After getting over the shocking question and breathing normally, you hit his arm. "What is wrong with you? No we didn't have sex and I told you, we are doing this settlement for the sake of Johnny." Jungwoo gives you a questioning gaze.

"I don't believe it. There is or was something there before." he sips his soju hoping you would get his hint.

"It's a long story Woo and honestly, a waste of breath. Trust me." you finish your last piece of food knowing full well that Jungwoo is going to ask the same question again. "You're not going to stop asking about it are you? Go ask Jaehyun. I'm sure he will gladly tell you."

"I did. He didn't want to talk about it and just said there was a miscommunication."

Miscommunication? Miscommunication my ass.

"That's funny. Well all you need to know is we have history and no it's not sexual then one day there was a falling out. That's all Woo." You are hoping this vague detail would make him drop the conversation, but you knew him too well. As soon as you look at his diretion, he gave you puppy eyes. You deeply sigh and told him the entire story.

As cliche as it sounds, you and Jaehyun used to be best friends once upon a time. At the age of six, you two have been attached to the hip after a competition of who can swing the highest. Even at that age, Jaehyun was competitive and of course won. By the age of ten, you two shared your first kiss out of pure curiousity. It wasn't perfect like they show on the shows or movies so you two kept kissing until it mirrored the ones on screen. To your suprise, it wasn't awkward like you've imagined, instead, it sparked something within you. You knew then, in that moment, you were falling for your best friend.

It was the summer before ninth grade when everything changed. You decided on this particular hot summer day to confess your feelings for your best friend, in hopes he would return it. However, when you inch closer to the park where you would meet, you see Susie whispering in Jaehyun's ear. She was notoriously known for making up rumors and destroying friendships. As you approach the two, Susie side step to look at you with a smug look as she walks away happily. Pushing all the negative thoughts that came flooding in, you focus on the boy in front of you.

"Hey" you say cheerfully behind Jaehyun. He turns around to face you only to have an expression of hurt, anger, and disappointment etched on his face. Your arm reach for him, but he just backs away. You furrow your eyebrows at the sudden action, "hey, what's wrong? Jae talk to me."

"How could you?" he says barely a whisper. You can hear the crack in his voice and his eyes glistening. You shook your head not understanding the question. "Don't play stupid y/n. I had the right to know first." He balls his hands into a fist as he tries to keep his facade in front of you.

"Jae, you're not making any sense. What are you talking about? I'm your best friend, you're always the first to know everything." you pleaded.

He looked hurt when you said 'best friend' and the next words that comes out of his mouth were the first of many heartbreaks. "Not anymore you're not. I don't even know who you are anymore." You stood there shocked as the world crashes around you. This was not how you envisioned your day to go with him.

"I- yes I am-"

"No you're not! You lied straight to my face. You could have told me you couldn't hang out anymore because of Sicheng! I knew there was always something between you two."

"Sicheng? What does he have to do with anything?" The only time you and Sicheng communicate was in passing, other than that, you knew he and Jaehyun were rivarly ever since their fight in a basketball game.

"Y/n, please stop. You know what he is to me. Just tell me the truth, it's the least you can do." When you stood there quiet, he scoffed. "You're dating him and you still can't even tell me that you are!"

Your temper was reaching its limits and any minute it was about to explode. "We're not dating! We don't even talk! Do you really think I would go behind your back and date someone you hate? Seriously Jaehyun? Do you even know me at all?"

"I guess not because I heard differently-"

"Oh and who did you hear it from? Was it a bitch name Susie because if it was she's a psychotic liar. You know that and the fact that you are actually believing her over me is unbelievable! Did you ever thought of bothering to ask me if it was true in the first place? Wait no scratch that, you shouldn't even thought about that because I would never do such a thing Jaehyun!"

"Everything she told me makes sense and I believe her. I don't think I can ever forgive you for this y/n. You broke my trust."

You stared in disbelief at the boy in front of you. You don't even try to contain the tears that you kept at bay as they start streaming down your face. Your own best friend didn't believe you no matter how many times you keep telling him it's not true. All you could do in that moment was accept defeat that you just lost your best friend in a span of five minutes.

When you open your mouth, you don't hide your cracked voice, "You think I broke your trust? Well, you broke me first Jaehyun." Before he could reply and register what you said, you ran away from him and your memories together.

By the time high school started, Susie and Jaehyun were the hottest couple on campus and the most popular kids. Jaehyun was the basketball team captain and she was captain of the cheerleading squad. That all changed when you entered junior year and Jaehyun broke up with her. Rumors circulated around that she cheated on him or he felt like he could do better than her which led to rumors of him being a fuckboy.

You on the other hand were on the complete opposite and mostly kept to yourself and your small group of friends. You thank the universe for letting you meet Johnny on your first day of school because without his help, you wouldn't have survived all four years of high school in one piece.

Whenever you would see Jaehyun in the halls or in your shared classes, you always make eye contact with him or one would look away when getting caught. On rare occasions, he would say dumb shit to you about anything irrelevant just to get under your skin. You never gave in as your comebacks would always leave him speechless.

It was a game you two unknowingly played, but as always whenever you looked at him you're reminded that he is no longer a part of your life. You hate him for not trusting you. You hate him for not reaching out to you to see if you were okay. You hate him for abruptly leaving your life like it was the easiest thing to do in the world. You hate him for not being beside you and making new memories in high school like you two always talked about. You hate him for being so popular and good at everything. Most of all, you hate him for making you fall in love with him and breaking your heart.

Once you were done recounting your history, Jungwoo kept opening and closing his mouth but he was speechless. You laughed at his state of hard concentration, "I told you it was a waste of breath."

Jungwoo gives you a pity look that's shortly replaced with a small concern. "You still love him don't you." he says quietly.

"Did you not hear anything I just said? I don't love him or have feelings for him at all. He made sure of that."

He shifts in his seat, his whole body facing you and putting his hand over yours. "Y/n, sweetie. Ever since I've met you all you've been doing is talk about Jaehyun and by talk I mean complain about the small things he does. No one in their right minds would recount the number of times someone did something because no one pays attention to those details. I'm not saying he's perfect, but what he did to you was completely fucked up. He should have believed you. Period. I may not know him like you, but he's an idiot to not know what he lost or that he is in love with you too."

You're starting to think Jungwoo shouldn't drink anymore because he says funny things. "Woo, he doesn't love me or even likes me. He can't stand me and honestly we are better apart and operating without being in each other's lives."

"Yet, you two still live under the same roof. You hate each other and talk shit, but neither one has made an effort to move out. Why is that?"

"Because we both told Johnny we would live here until the end of our contract in a year. That is basically a business deal Woo." You knew he had a point, but you weren't ready to think about that now.

He sighs in defeat knowing he isn't going to make you realize your true feelings. "You two are the most dense people on the planet and one of you is going to get really hurt this time."

After Jungwoo went back to his dorm, you sat outside in the balcony overlooking the view. There was a slight breeze but nothing you can't handle. It was peaceful and soon you were deep in your thoughts and memories. Memories of your childhood flashes through your mind all the while hearing Jungwoo's words replay over and over. "He's also in love you... but neither one has made an effort to move out. why is that?" Why is that? It would make sense that anyone in your shoes would move out in a heartbeat. Do you still love him? Jungwoo made a point when he said you noticed all of Jaehyun's little habits like the back of your hand. You were at a crossroads and your head was starting to hurt from thinking too much.

You didn't hear the front door opening or the clicking of heels along with footsteps stumbling into the living room. Jaehyun curses when he knocks over a bottle of soju and sees the coffee table filled with drinks and chinese takeout. He thought you had someone over and took the action to your bedroom. He pushed aside the familiar feeling deep down. He quickly takes the girl into his room before he comes back out to the kitchen for two glasses of water.

On the way back, he notices the sliding door to the balcony slightly open. Without thinking, he tiptoes around the broken glass to close the door when he notices your figure sitting there. It was freezing outside and you had nothing on but shorts and a sweater. He calls out your name not wanting to startle you. When you didn't answer, he calls for the second time.

Annoyed at you being stubborn, he moves in front of you and repeatedly calls out your name. The sound of Jaehyun's voice pulls you out of your daze as you look at him. He was holding two glasses of water and his hair is slightly ruffled. He looked so annoyed as he rambles on about you, "Jesus y/n, if you're going to freeze to death, go ahead but -"

Jaehyun finally looks at you to see you looking at him, but something felt different. In that moment, his heart dropped at the sight of the look he knew all too well because he used to be the one who helped you get out of your deep and negative thoughts. He then notice the tears in your eyes and he was transported back in time to the last time he saw you crying at the park when he ended your friendship.

You watch his face and for a split second the look of concern etch across his face and he looked like your best friend. You didn't realize tears streaming down your face until you felt one drop. You quickly wipe them away and get up from your seat, but neither one of you moves. You shift your gaze to the view ahead back to him when he was still staring at you. "Can you stop looking at me like that? It's weird Jaehyun."

He didn't notice he had been staring until you said it. You start to move back into the living room when he grabs your arm and pulls you to his chest. "What the fu-"

"If you paid more attention, you would see there's glass on the floor." he says. You look down and see the broken bottle of soju on the floor. Your brain registers how close your bodies are and how his hand is still holding your arm. You could practically feel his heat radiating off him and the smell of his wood cologne intoxicating you. You slowly raise your head to meet his eyes looking back at you. You know you should move, but you stay rooted in your spot. Something about the way he gazes at you had put you under some sort of magic spell.

"Jaehyun, where are you baby?"

Your intimate moment was interrupted and you clear your throat to look away. You shift yourself out of his grasp and suddenly felt the coldness from the air. You tiptoe your way around the glass as Jaehyun follows your movements.

"Y/n."

You turn around to see him standing there with conflict on his face. He wanted to tell you he still cares about your or joke he would break the guy who made you cry tonight, but he couldn't find the right words.

"You should get back to her before she gets impatient." You gave him a small smile and walk to your room. You couldn't hear what Jaehyun said because your own heart was beating too loud in your ears. It was like you were 13 all over again as you slid down your door and silently cry your eyes out.

After all this time, you are still in love with Jung Jaehyun.

You could have sworn you left your laptop charging on the coffee table the night before, yet this morning it was nowhere in sight. Too annoyed about not finding it and only one other person living with you, you barge into Jaehyun's room without knocking.

"Give me back my lap- oh my god! Put on some clothes!" You really wish you knocked because in that moment, Jaehyun was naked. You quickly turn away looking at his door as you try to ease your heated cheeks.

Jaehyun wasn't the type to shy away. In fact, he was proud of the body he worked hard for and something about you catching him sets something off in him. He grins when he can see your flustered state. "It's not my fault you don't know the meaning of knock before entering y/n." he says in a flirtatious voice.

You internally roll your eyes at the comment, "Can I just get my laptop back please."

He walks over to you and stands inches behind you as he leans down to your ear. "And what makes you think I have it hmm?" His words sends shivers down your spine straight to your core as you try to maintain your posture.

You bodly turn around to see him fully clothed in a black shirt and grey sweatpants. "Because you're the only other person who lives here and it's not on the coffee table where I left it."

"Tck, I don't know what to tell you. I don't have it. Maybe Casper took it."

"Your nickname is Casper so ha you took it." You start to roam around his room opening drawers to find your computer. Just like he has done numerous of times before, you threw his clothes onto the floor just for the fun of it.

"Can you stop throwing my shit everywhere?" Jaehyun was becoming agitated with the way you were throwing everything.

"I'll stop once you tell me where my laptop is Casper." you state. You don't even hear Jaehyun muttering to himself as he walks away and goes straight to your room. You hear loud noises coming from outside his room until you realize he wasn't in the room with you. "JAEHYUN! DON'T YOU DARE!"

You run over his scattered clothes and rush to your room where now your clothes are being thrown into the hallway. "What the fuck is wrong with you!?" You yell trying to stop more clothes from leaving past you.

"I figure you could get rid of these clothes since you don't wear any of them and I believe this is my shirt." he holds up a long black t-shirt that you secretly sleep in because it was comfy. Jaehyun continues opening your drawers until you realize he was getting close to one specific drawer. Without thinking, you quickly jump on his back as he stumbles foward a bit by shock as he reaches for that drawer handle.

"Don't open that." you hiss next to his ear as you look at his reflection in the mirror. He looks at both your figures with a smirk.

"Are you trying to hide something from me? You know eventually I will find out what it is." You're so lost in his gaze, it takes you a second to realize he is throwing you onto your bed as he gets on top of you and tickles your sides. You yelp in suprise both crying and laughing.

"Jae - please stop."

You try to tickle him, but he just blocks your advances. You feel like kids again having an innocent fun fight just like how you used to be. He tickles you once more until he suddenly stops. To him, you look beautiful with your rosy cheeks and your bright smile. Your laughter fills his ears and body with warmth as he looks at your face.

When you finally catch your breath and get a good look at him, you swear your heart will beat out of your chest. He's staring straight into your eyes with something you can't distingushed and you find yourself replicating him. He eyes your entire face until they stop at your lips. Everything around you is forgotten and it's just you two in this intimate moment.

He leans in and just before his lips reaches yours, you hear a faint vibration. Your face flushes immediately as Jaehyun held you down. While he was busy tickling you, he managed to open your secret drawer to find your pink rabbit vibrator.

"Told you I would find it." His gaze is still lock with yours when he moves off the bed and onto his feet. You follow him as you yank your vibrator out of his hand and look around the room avoiding his eyes. "You're cleaning this up by the way."

He crosses his arms eyeing you, "I don't think so. You started it first so you clean it."

Before you could snark back, someone was knocking on your door. You go to retrieve it and find Jungwoo holding your laptop in his hands. He tells you he came by earlier to ask if he could use your laptop since his died and needed to finish his paper that was due in two hours. Jaehyun had let him in and told him to grab it from the coffee table and you'd be okay with it. You say your goodbyes to Jungwoo and turned to face Jaehyun who was leaning against the wall.

"I told you I didn't have it. So now that's settled, I expect my room to be tidied up when I get back." he declares before he leaves the apartment.

You smiled to yourself because after all these years, Jaehyun was still the same. Always being competitive to prove a point. You walk back to your room and decided to do a deep clean of your room.

When Jaehyun came home, he sees your sleeping figure on the couch with your laptop and papers scattered. He couldn't help himself as he carries you to your bed and tucks you in. He looks at you a second longer and pushes a strand of hair out of your face. Jaehyun absentmindedly kisses your forehead and close your door. When he turns on the light in his room, he is welcome with his room exactly how he left it. There was a sticky note on his mirror from you.

Payback is a bitch isn't it - y/n

He chuckles under his breath because after all this time, you were still the same with always having the last word. Without energy, he moves the clothes on his bed to the floor as he closes his eyes and sleeps peacefully.

Finals were just a few weeks away and you felt like a zombie running back and forth from campus to your apartment and to the coffee shop. You were so stressed out, you practically abandoned your entire closet and settle for comfortable sweatpants and shirts that were too big on you. Unbeknownist to you, Jaehyun could see your condition and found himself mentally asking if you've eaten or have gotten enough sleep.

So there you were, sitting with your legs crossed in your chair, hunched over the dining table once again going through your study guides. Jaehyun had just gotten out of the shower with only his sweatpants. When he saw you in his shirt and sweatpants, he got an idea.

You were so focus on the chapter in front of you, you didn't notice Jaehyun taking a seat across from you. He could see your furrowed eyebrows, something you do when you're confused and about to give up, and a cute pout. He thought it was funny how he still knew your little quirks like the back of his hand without having any type of relationship with your for years. The smell of body wash reach your nostrils when you look up getting caught off guard with a shirtless Jaehyun. His hair still wet and you wanted nothing more than to reach across and tug on it.

"Like something you see?" he teases as he bites into an apple.

You roll your eyes at how conceited he is, "Please wear a shirt. No one wants to see that." You saw how his eyes darkens for a split second before he goes back to his usual self.

"No one but you, you mean. You're practically drooling, sweetheart."

The nickname made you unconciously cross your legs even tighter together. The effect he had on you is so beyond your control at this point. You quickly clear your throat, "Don't you have anything to do other than annoy me?"

He could see your cheeks turn a pink shade as you try to change subjects. Over the course of living together, he found new ways to make you flustered even though you hated his guts. He didn't care because it was his own game that he liked to play and the reward of seeing you blush to something he says and becoming speechless was funny and cute to him.

"What do you do for fun?" he asks suddenly.

"I - that's none of your business." you deadpan.

"Don't you do anything for fun other than studying and developing a hunch back?"

Why is he talking to me as if this is a regular occurence?

"I do, but it's not like you care anyways."

"Try me. Name one thing you did for fun this week." If he was being honest, he just wanted to talk to you. He doesn't know what led him to be so bold knowing the chances of you yelling at him were very high.

"I tried a new coffee on Mo-" you were cut off by his obnoxious laugh. Feeling embarassed you shut your mouth and groaned.

"I'm sorry, that's what you call fun? Trying new coffee? Y/n that's not even close to fun."

You roll your eyes and mirror his form by placing your elbows on the table, "Okay Mr. Popular, define what is fun besides going out and getting laid."

"For starters, there's the gym, the club, then there's -" you fake yawn loudly seeming uninterested, "- what? At least mine is productive other than coffee flavors."

"We're different people Jaehyun. That's your thing and mine is coffee." Something about the way you said it made his heart sink. It hit him that you two were completely different people, something neither of you saw coming in your youth.

"Okay, but don't you go out on dates or get laid at least? Or maybe you aren't getting laid and that's why you have an attitude all the time." He really doesn't know where he wants this conversation to go.

You laugh a bit too loud for your liking. "What is this? 21 questions? For your curiosity, I do go out and occassionally get the attitude fucked out of me." you air quote the last part. "I just don't make it obvious like you do."

"I don't believe you." he says cockily with his stupid lopsided smile.

"You don't have to believe me," you lean in closer testing the waters before you could say the boldest statement, "Don't be mad that it's not you fucking the attitude out of me." His ears instantly turn red as you try hard to stifle a laugh.

"Are you trying to seduce me y/n?" His voice is an octave lower and that tingly feeling at the pit of your stomach starts doing flips. Neither of you notice your faces moving closer to each other meeting halfway on the table.

"That depends. Is it working?" You whispered. You feel his breath fanning over your cupid's bow. "Do you want to fuck the attitude out of me? Maybe that's why you always want to annoy me, hmm?" You lips were about to touch when your phone rings. You jolt back to reality and take the call pretending nothing just happened. Jaehyun stays in his spot for a few more seconds before he gets up to go to his room. You look up and see the outline of his erection against his sweatpants and you want nothing more than to have him inside you.

When finals week was finally done and freedom began, you and the girls decided a night out to the club. You wore a black satin dress that stops midthigh hugging your curves and exposing just enough cleavage. At the club you three went straight to the bar and start downing shots of Patron. In no less than ten minutes, you start feeling the alcohol coarse throughout your body.

While you were busy at the bar, Jaehyun stood across the room from you taking in your figure and how sexy you look. He imagine what it would feel like to rip that dress off and leave you bare under him. He couldn't take his eyes off of you as you dance a few feet away from him. Your eyes instantly met the familiarity of Jaehyun's gaze on you while he had his arms around the girl he was dancing with.

Feeling a bit hurt, you look away and continue dancing freely until a pair of hands grab your waist pulling you into their chest. You take a look back at your dance partner for the night to see Nakamoto Yuta, the captain of the soccer team. You smell his cologne as he grinds his hips into yours letting you know what's in store for you if you accept.

You look back at Jaehyun, who was still looking at you with an expression you can't read. You grind your hips harder into Yuta as a moan leaves his mouth. Whispering into your ear, the two of you leave the club heading straight to your place. Jaehyun watched the whole scene play out and his chest begins to tighten when you leave with Yuta.

Jaehyun struggles to open the door during his heavy make out session in the hallway with the girl he brought home. As soon as the door opens, he almost trips over a pair of heels in the entryway. On the way to the living room, he hears banging coming from your room. He didn't think anything of it until he hears your screams of ecstacy along with a mix of curses and moans.

The girl he was with didn't hear anything as she was too busy trying to take off his shirt, but Jaehyun couldn't focus on her. He was so intrigued with the sounds coming out of your mouth, wishing deep down it was him making a mess out of you. He couldn't handle it anymore as jealousy takes over and he leads the girl to his room to fuck out all of his frustrations.

"Y/n honey, help me get dinner ready," your mother yells from the kitchen, "your father will get the door." Your father gives you a small smile and a kiss on the forehead before you walk into the kitchen. You came home for Christmas to get away and it's your favorite holiday. Not to mention, you miss your parents terribly. Once you set up the table and grabbed the last remaining dish in the kitchen, you bumped into someone you weren't expecting.

"I can't catch a break from you can I." you scowl as Jaehyun gawks at you not expecting to see you. Ever since that night he heard you with Yuta, he's been trying to avoid you around the apartment.

"Ah, oh my goodness y/n! You are so grown up! You have become such a beautiful young lady." Mrs. Jung hugs you as you politely tell her a thank you and bow to Mr. Jung. During dinner, both parents tell the story of running into each other at the grocery story and thought it would be a nice to have Christmas dinner just like old times. Jaehyun sat in front of you trying his best to avoid looking at you as you did the same.

"I'm glad Jaehyun found a roommate who was willing to take him in before the semester started. He didn't want to live in the dorms." His mother says nonchalantly. "Apparently, his roommate is a very clean and organized person that makes Jaehyunnie feel at home."

You shift your gaze from your food to him and his ears are a shade of deep red. You internally had to laugh and scoff at the same time because there's no way he would talk about you in that light. To make matters worse, your mom also butts in. "Ah really? That is so nice of your roommate. Y/n says hers is a pain, but there are moments when they bond and they're like best friends." It was your turn to turn to sink further in your seat.

After dinner, you excused yourself and wandered upstairs to your old bedroom. Nothing much has changed except for a few boxes your parents put in the corner of the room. You sat on your bed and just let all the emotions come at once.

"Wow, your room still looks the same since we were kids." Jaehyun leans against the doorframe taking in your room. It felt familiar and strangely he felt comfortable, even though it has been years since he set foot in your house. He walks around your room finding little plushies you used to play with and one he got you from the State Fair.

He walks over to your dresser mirror and sees pictures of your friends, your parents, and Johnny. There was a photo hidden behind one of the photos that spikes his interest. When he got a hold of it, warmth begins to flood through his body and he couldn't help but smile.

"You still have this picture?" He holds the photo of when you both were six with ice cream cones in your hands. You suddenly couldn't look at him and you felt small. Jaehyun sits down next to you staring at the picture in his hand. It was quiet for what felt like an eternity.

"We were really happy weren't we?" he says softly as to not disturb the silence. You inhale deeply and try to get away from the suffocating atmosphere when he grabs your hand. "Y/n, please look at me." When you don't give him any sign to look at him, he places his hand under your chin to face him, "Y/n."

When your eyes meets his, time stopped and it was just you two in that moment. His brown eyes were warm and his face was gentle. The Jaehyun in front of you was suddenly the best friend you longed and missed all these years. You didn't even realize you had tears in your eyes until he was wiping them away with his thumb. He pulls you into a hug as you lay your head on his chest letting go of all your emotions.

"I know," he starts once you've calmed down, "I know I don't have any right to ask, but I would like for us to be friends again." You look up at him confused and shock. "I'd understand if you don't want to and we can continue to be how we are. The way I ended our friendship wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry. I really am sorry y/n."

This must be a Christmas mircale because after all these years, those were the words you wanted to hear from him the most. You swear you could cry again if you could, but you held them in. He looks at you and he isn't sure if he's ready for you to tell him to fuck off or accept his apology. "I'd love that, but just give me time to start trusting you again." you finally said.

Jaehyun looks down at you and softly smiles widely showing off those dimples you love. He knew it wasn't going to be easy, but he was willing to wait and show you he won't fuck up this second chance to be your friend again. To be in your life for the long run.

You both aren't aware of the close proximity of your faces until you're staring at his lips. You don't know who leans in first when you feel his plump lips softly grazing yours. As always, the moment is interrupted when his mother called for him. You two broke away and you get out of his embrace clearing your throat. Jaehyun scratches the back of his neck and walk towards the door before looking back at you.

"I'll see you at home?"

You nod and smile at him, "I'll see you at home."

Since Christmas, things between you and Jaehyun drastically changed. In the beginning, one would say a snarky comment to set off a mini argument, but before it could erupt further, one would start laughing. It felt like the universe was back on your side again and you had your best friend back.

Jaehyun made sure to prove himself when he started cleaning around the apartment and cooking for you. If you were studying for hours on end, he would force you to take a break and hang out with him. The one thing you noticed the most was he rarely ever went out or brought a girl home.

It's a Saturday night when you binge watch all three High School Musical movies. You both dance, sing along, and recite the movies. It was the happiest you've truly been in these last few months and years. After the movies were done, you played rock paper scissors and the winner had to choose between horror film or a rom-com. As always, Jaehyun won and chose horror film.

"You're not even watching the movie y/n." Jaehyun laughs as you bury your face into his side knowing there is going to be something that pops up in the scene. "You do know Freddy Krueger isn't real right?"

"He's real enough to haunt my dreams and thanks to you, I won't be able to sleep tonight." you mumbled against his shirt. He just laughs at your cuteness as he wraps his arm around you pulling you closer to him.

"Don't worry sweetheart. I'll protect you." he absentmindedly kisses your forehead until he remembers something, "Wait, do you still dream he chases you into the field and you end up at my house and we kissed?"

You look at him suprise he even remembers that dream when you were both nine. "You still remember that?" you ask shyly.

"Of course I do, only because we kissed." you roll your eyes at his honesty.

"It's not going to happen so don't get any funny ideas." you playfully hit his chest.

Jaehyun chuckles, "I wasn't thinking of anything, but it seems like you are." he grins and you swore the blush on your cheeks are giving you away.

The sexual tension between your bodies is too intense for you. You don't know if you're horny or if it's the way Jaehyun always makes you feel helpless in moments like this. As if he's a mind reader, he places his index finger under your chin and tilt it up to as everything around you falls into background noise. He leans in and his plump lips are on yours. It takes you a second to register that he is kissing you and you kiss him back.

The kiss growns hungry as you straddle his lap and grind your hips down onto his growing member. His hands are all over your body while one of your arm is around his neck and the other is tugging at the end of his shirt. He breaks the kiss to pull off his shirt and you instantly scatter love bites over his chest, finally having your lips on his perfect chisled abs. He lets out tiny groans when you move your hips faster. You lean back to take off your sweater and Jaehyun looks at you in awe at the sight of your bare chest.

He wastes no time kissing your collarbone down to the valley of your mounds before bringing his mouth onto your left nipple. You softly moan at the feeling of his tongue doing wonders while his other kneads your right breast. He sucks and lightly bites your nub causing you to jerk foward. He looks at you through heavy lids to find your lips again, tongues exploring one's mouth.

You reach in between your bodies to tease his erection through his sweatpants earning himself a loud moan. You're pretty sure your panties are damp from all the beautiful noises he's making. He picks you up as you wrap your legs around his waist and brings you to the nearest bedroom. Jaehyun softly lays you on the bed as he begins to leave trail of kisses lower south making you giggle. He takes off your sweatpants and panties in one motion and throw them somwhere in the dim bedroom.

He levels his head in front of your core as he kisses your inner thighs giving you goosebumps. "Baby, you're soaking and we haven't done anything." His breath fans on your pussy before kissing it and giving kitten licks. Your back arches off the bed at the sensation of his tongue clouding your mind. You're so turned on, you could cum right there. His tongue dips lower to your entrance as he begins to fuck you with his tongue.

When he looks up to see your face contort in pleasure, he had you right where he wanted. He wanted nothing more than to see you so fucked out and that he was the one making you feel good. He sucks harshly on your clit before thrusting two fingers into you making you moan louder.

"Oh fuck Jae!"

"You taste so good sweatheart." He slowly finger fucks you enjoying teasing you before curling them and pumping into you at a fast pace. You start to feel the band in your stomach break when all you hear are the squelch from how wet you are. "My baby has the prettiest pussy. It's all mine right?"

"F-fuck I'm going to cum." If ever possible, he pumps into you faster as you cum on his fingers. Jaehyun helps you ride out your high before coming up and kissing you once again. He pulls his fingers out slowly and sucks off your juices. You grab his face to kiss him as you flip him over with him now on his back.

You are so turned on, you leave more trail of open mouth kisses down to his happy trail before reaching for his sweats. You tease his hard cock once more. Jaehyun bites hit bottom lip to refrain from making any more noises. You take off his sweats as his erection springs up hitting you on the cheek and onto his abs. Your mouth waters as you take his long veiny cock in your hands moving up and down.

You kiss along his shaft as precum is visible on his tip. While holding your gaze with him, you open your mouth and slowly put him in taking in as much as you can. Whatever couldn't fit, you wrap your hands around and stroke him as you bob your head.

"O-oh fuck y/n. Your mouth feels so fucking good, ahh." Jaehyun grabs a fistful of your hair watching you suck him off. Feeling more determine, you pull off his cock momentarily before putting him back in and going further in until he's hitting the back of your throat. Jaehyun couldn't believe how well you were taking his cock and in any moment, he was about to cum, but he tries his best to hold out.

"Fuck!" You moan in response as he thrusts into your mouth. Your eyes begin to tear and you try to control your gagging. You love the noises and the look Jaehyun gives you as he fucks your mouth. You weren't fond of deep throating, but Jaehyun was making you love every second of it. As you were enjoying it, he suddenly pulls you off of him and push you back onto the bed.

He hovers over you as you spread your legs wide for him. He teases your slit with his cock making you buck up and whine.

"Jae please stop teasing and fuck me already. I need you."

"Is my baby begging for my cock hmm?" he continues to slide in between your folds making you buck harder against him.

"Jaehyun plea-" Before you could finish your sentence, he thrusts into you in one go making you gasp. The stretch stings a little, but it's perfect just how you like it. You both moan loudly at the satisfying feeling as he just stays there waiting for you to adjust. Once you give him the go, he pulls out to the tip and thrusts into you again and again and again.

"Fuck, you're so tight. This pussy is so perfectly made for me. It's all mine right baby?" he says into your ear. You're too far gone to say anything as his thrusts become faster and harder. "Use your words sweatheart."

"Yes, this tight pussy is all for you baby. Fuck, you fuck me so good daddy, don't stop, don't stop." You hear him growl as he relentlessly pounds into you. Your walls clench around him letting him know you were close.

"Da-daddy I'm cl-"

"Me too baby. You don't know how long I've wanted to do this." He puts his thumb onto your clit bringing you over the edge as your cum for the second time. He watches your face as he tries to fuck harder into you. "Your pussy loves sucking my cock in. I bet no one ever fucked you this good before baby hmm. You're doing so well."

He's fucking you so blissfully you don't even recover from your second orgasm as you feel the next one coming. "Fuck fuck fuck I'm cumming again." Your mind is filled with haze as you cum for the third time in a short span of minutes. He pounds into you a couple more times before he cums deep in you. You both ride out your highs together with a few more thrusts until you feel him go soft.

He takes you to the bathroom and helps you clean up and carries you back to his bed under the covers. You start giggling once you just realize what just happened. The sound of your laughter warms Jaehyun's heart and he wants nothing more than to hear it for the rest of his life. He looks at your beautiful face and laughs along with you. You lay your head on his chest hearing his heartbeat slow and steady while he plays with your hair. The silence isn't scary, but it's more comfortable. It felt like home.

"We never finished the movie." He says after a while. His whole body moves as he chuckles lightly.

"Hmm, that's fine by me. At least I can sleep good tonight." You look up at him and give him a kiss as he gives you a smirk.

"Who said anything about getting sleep?" That night Jaehyun made you cum more than you have ever did in your life.

After that night, you both had sex almost every single day on every inch surface in your apartment. His sex drive was so high you don't even know how you're keeping up with him. If someone had told you a year ago, you and Jaehyun would be having sex, you would have laughed in their face. Time was always a funny concept to you.

One day, you got out of your class early and decided to suprise Jaehyun by waiting outside of his class. You buried yourself in your laptop to finish some essays when you see a bunch of people leaving his classroom. He had his back turned to you as you put your stuff away and try to catch up to him. He was walking with his friends Doyoung and Lucas and as you were about to call out for him, you hear your name.

"I thought the whole point was for y/n to move out? Did you really have to sleep with her?" Doyoung asks.

"Yeah man, wasn't this your revenge plan to get back at her for what she did to you with Sicheng? If I were you, I would continue leading her on and call it a day. Eventually she'll get the message. Hey you know, after you fucked Linda, she hasn't stopped asking about you. You two really hit it off." Lucas says happily.

You were shock to hear what was said. That couldn't be true, could it?

"It's not that simple. I just don't know what to do." Jaehyun exasperate.

You've heard enough and walked the other direction to a nearby bathroom to cry your tears out. Was this Jaehyun's plan all along for him to fake restart your friendship only to get back at you over a rumor all those years ago? You were absolutely stupid for believing he wanted to be your friend again.

"That was my original plan, but the more I'm around her, the more stupid that idea was and I really do miss what we had." Jaehyun tells them. He finally had you back in his life again and he didn't want anything to ruin that.

When Jaehyun arrived at home after a session at the gym, he saw you in the kitchen with a glass of wine and one of his shirts that you always happen to steal after doing laundry. He hugs you from behind and presses soft kisses on the back of your neck, but the way you tensed up, he knew something was wrong. He could feel the cold barrier that was once there.

"What's wrong?"he asks worried about you and why the sudden cold shoulder. You shrugged it off and went to your room. He figured you weren't in the mood to talk and gave you space. For a whole week. Whenever he asks you about your day or if he did something wrong, you gave him short answers and an argument would break out. What was once a happy fairytale for both, was shortly lived as things went back to how they were in the beginning.

It was a Friday night and you just needed to get away from Jaehyun. It's been over a month and you still couldn't bring yourself to confront him about what you heard. You know you should talk to him about it, but you're just too stubborn. It was no coincidence Jaehyun was at the same club as you with the same intentions of not wanting to be in the same environment as you, but as you stood in front of the bar drunk out of your mind with a guy's arm wrapped around you, he knew he needed to do something about the situation.

Jaehyun walks over to you and the guy trying to take advantage of your condition and yanks your wrist towards him. "We're going home y/n." He says.

"What the fuck bro. Get your own girl." The guy next to you says.

"She is my girl, now let go of my girlfriend." Jaehyun says harshly.

You try to squirm out of his hold, but even you knew you weren't strong enough or had the energy to even try. Plus you're completely shitface, but one thing you know for sure is, Jaehyun kept you close by his side during the car ride back to your shared apartment.

As soon as you're in the comfort of your apartment, you start crying in the middle of the living room.

"Y/n." Jaehyun says worriedly.

"Why do you hate me so much Jaehyun?"

He didn't expect those words to flow out of your mouth. "I don't hate you-"

"Yes you do. I heard your conversation with Doyoung and Lucas last month. If you just wanted to get back at me for some fucking rumor then you should have told me. It would have caused both of us a lot of time.

Jaehyun stood in front of you petrified, "Y-you heard that? Y/n I-"

"How could you Jaehyun? I really thought you wanted to be friends again-"

"I do! It's not what you think. Y/n please, let me explain-"

"Explain what exactly? How you scheme to befriend me then as a bonus fuck me just so I could fall in love with you all over again!? You walked out of my life all those years ago and lived your life as if nothing happened. As if you didn't break me! I had to suffer at the loss of my best friend. I let you come back into my life thinking I'd have my best friend back. I hate that I love you so much that you don't even see it because to you I will never be more than the girl who broke your trust over a stupid rumor." Your tears had a mind of their own as they kept streaming down your face.

Jaehyun stood there perplexed at your sudden confession. You loved him all this time? "Y/n-" he tries to reach for your arm but you backed away.

"I can't do this anymore Jaehyun. I'm moving out by the end of the week. I already paid my part for the next two months so at least you're settled. Looks like you finally get your wish after all." You look at him once more before you turn to your room until he grabs your hand. You don't turn to look at him because you know if you do, you won't be able to move on. "Please just leave me alone Jaehyun." After a few more seconds, his grip on you loosens and you walk to your room feeling your heart shattered to pieces.

The next couple of days go by in a haze. You avoid Jaehyun at all costs by leaving to school and work early and coming home late knowing he would be fast asleep. If you did see him, he would avoid eye contact and go back into his room or quickly walk out the door.

Jaehyun decided to skip class and sat on a bench watching kids play on the playground. He process your sudden confession over and over as he thinks back on memories you two made. Jaehyun loves you. He's been in love with you since you both were six years old getting ice cream together. He planned on telling you about his feeling on that eventful summer day at the park.

While he was waiting for you, Susie walked up to him and told him that she saw you and Sicheng together and something in him snapped and hated you for doing that to him. You were standing in front of him with tears in your eyes and as he watches you run away from him, he realized he never wanted to hurt you.

Everyday since then, he would walk by your house and try to muster up the courage to ask you how you were and how sorry he was, but he could never find the words. It wasn't until he saw you in the hallways talking to Sicheng that his hatred and feelings of betrayal surfaced once again.

He remembers overhearing Susie tell her friends that she made up a lie about you being with Sicheng just so she could have him all to herself. When he confronted her about it, she denied it and eventually broke up with her. As for the fuckboy reputation he got, that was all Susie's doing. He had flings here and there, but not much for him to earn that status.

He remembers typing out texts and letters to you telling you how sorry he was for being a jerk and believing such a lie, but he could never send them. Whenever he catches a glimpse of you in the hallways or in class, he would try to come up with something to say to you, but words were always caught in his throat. He eventually decided to give up on trying to reconnect with you and settled on you hating him completely and making you believe he still resented you. He was completely stupid.

When Johnny mentioned you were going to the same university as him, he made up a lie saying dorms this year was all booked and needed a place to stay. He promised himself that he would do better this time around and would work on becoming your friend again. Except he wasn't ready to face you on the day he moved in, but later that night he realized that this was probably the universe work to put you two in such a situation. Everyday since then, his love for you grew only stronger and he loved how he admired you from afar yet so close. Now that you were leaving, he needed things to be different this time around.

You were packing your things into boxes when you heard someone knocking on the door. You were expecting to see Rose at the door since she said she would help, instead Jaehyun stood before you. This was the first time you seen him since last Friday and you could see the bags under his eyes, but you couldn't care less.

"Forgot your keys dumbass?" You left the door open for him as you turned away, only to hear it close and knock again. Annoyed by his games, you open the door, "Jae-"

"My name is Jung Jaehyun and I am stupidly in love with my roommate and best friend." he starts.

"What are you do-"

"I was stupid and immature to believe a rumor over choosing her when she asked me to believe her. I let go of her trust, her friendship, her love, and most of all her. I was angry and hurt that she chose to be with someone who wasn't me."

"Jae-" He moves past the front door and towers over you never breaking eye contact.

"Ever since that day I hated myself for hurting her. I would try to write to her and talk to her, but I could never bring myself to do it. So I settled on being the guy she hated the most. I came up with this illusion to everyone that I had a plan to get back at her for what she did to me when we were kids, but between you and I, I already knew those rumors were just rumors. My plan kind of worked. I became her roommate and every single day I got to see her beautiful face and smile and hear her laugh. She would even ask me a question about something and call it a day and I would go to sleep happy that she at least talked to me. But she overheard my conversation and didn't let me explain and now she is leaving me."

Jaehyun pauses to push a strand out of your face as he looks deep into your eyes. "How can I tell her that I am stupid and I am so deeply in love with her?"

He looks at you one second longer before wiping the tears from your eyes. "I love everything about you y/n. I love how you furrow your eyebrows when you're confused. I love when you wear my shirts that you steal after doing laundry. I love how you get easily scared watching horrow movies. I love it when you pout because it's super cute. I love how you look at me filled with love and those long gazes you give me when you think I'm not looking. Most of all, I love how you make me want to become a better person. I love how you are the person I call my home. Please believe me when I say I am sorry and a real dumbass."

You let out something between a giggle and a scoff as he continues, "I'd understand if you don't want anything to do with me. I just wanted you to know how much I love you."

You stare into his eyes with nothing but love and sincerity. You tilt your head up a bit until you kiss his lips and stay there savoring the moment. "Are you really in love with me?"

He puts his arms around your waist and pecks your lips, "I'm seriously stupidly in love with you that I want you to have my kids and spend the rest of my life with you showing you just how much I love you."

You wrap your arms around his neck and smiled brightly at him, "I'd love that but," you feel his shoulder tense up and you internally laugh because this was going to be so much fun, "you're going to have to help me unpack the boxes first." He looks at you relieved as he picks you up and spins you around.

"I love you y/n."

"I love you Jaehyun."

"I'm sorry it took me a while to admit it, but I promise I will make you the happiest person."

That night you two made love and the day after and the day after that. You moved into Jaehyun's room since it was bigger than your own. When you broke the news to your friends, they were all excited and happy the both of you were finally together and didn't have to deal with any of the sexual tension any longer. Even both of your parents said they always knew you two would find each other again.

It was your third anniversary when he proprosed to you and six months later, you were married. It is now a year later and in five months you and Jaehyun were going to welcome baby Jung into the world.

Life with your best friend was everything you've always imagined it and more. Jaehyun continues to shower you with love unconditionally and retell the story of how he got you back. You two still fight like hormonal teenagers, but at the end of the day you are his and he is yours.

jisung au recos

dancing high - genre - fluff | idol!au 8 letters genre - fluff | angst | high school!au word count | 18.2k words

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