Got Me All Teared Up

got me all teared up 🥲

[ 𝟕:𝟑𝟐 𝐏𝐌 ] — 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐒𝐀

“are you done being mad at me?” wakasa raises a brow, and you’re almost inclined to throw the knife in your hand at his head—but, given that he’ll simply dodge it, and you’ll just have a ruined wall, you decide to fight the urge. he sighs when you don’t answer, pulling a chair from your dining table and seating himself as he watches you make dinner.

still enough for two, he notes, and a small spark lights up from his fingertips all the way to his heart.

“y/n, i told you it was an accident, don’t be so mad all the time,” he groans, and the glare you shoot him makes him roll his eyes.

and it’s not like he meant to forget your date, he usually always remembers. it’s one time, and wakasa can’t understand why it’s such a big deal.

“are you gonna just cry over one missed date for two days now?” he asks, irritation lacing his voice. “we could’ve gone on like three dates by now if you just stopped sulking,” he mutters, picking at his nails, and a part of you wants to scream at him, wants to throw all the dishes in the sink at him as he tries to dodge them all, but another part—a part you’re trying so hard not to show—simply wants to cry.

and you know how he is, you knew before you ever got involved with him, you know he’s not the most expressive guy—but somehow, despite it all, you just wish he’d at least look like he’s trying.

“y/n,” he says seriously, eyes finally hardening with a firmness you know all too well. you don’t think you can handle this conversation right now. “enough is eno—”

“please leave,” you whisper. wakasa pauses, staring at you incredulously as you don’t even spare him a glance. he thinks it’s because you’re mad—you know it’s because if you do, the dam will break.

it’s so silly, so incredibly sensitive of you. you’ve been dating for months, the honeymoon stage is long over, but still. you couldn’t stop yourself from trying to make your eight month milestone with wakasa special—and you thought there could be the slightest chance he’d feel the same.

but he forgot. and you feel dumb. you feel like an overly sentimental fool, and even if you try and tell yourself you’re simply overreacting, you can’t help but let the hurt blossom.

and you’re sure your boyfriend will look at you like you’re a fool too—and you certainly feel like one—so the best thing to do is avoid him until the feelings fizzle out.

but wakasa seems adamant on that not happening.

“what?” he inquires, and your eyes betray you, casting themselves as traitors as they let hot tears stream down your face. you angle your body away so he can’t see, hoping he doesn’t notice, but almost instantly, there’s a presence hovering behind you. “y/n, what’s wrong? shit—okay look, i didn’t mean to forget, alright? that was on me, it just slipped my mind—kay look. don’t cry or nothing, alright?”

“just go away,” you sniffle, twisting to avoid the arms that move to wrap around your waist, and for a second, you think you’ve probably ruined everything.

he’s probably tired of your overreacting, and the thought makes you wrap your arms tightly around yourself, biting your lip as you fight the wobble.

“baby, just talk to me,” he mumbles, arms wrapping around you once more. this time, they’re a bit more determined, and they don’t let you escape. a soft kiss plants itself to the back of your neck, and you feel yourself get pulled into an sturdy chest. “what’s got you upset? the date? were you excited for that restaurant? i’ll take you right now, but don’t cry—”

“it’s not the stupid restaurant,” you sniffle, giving up and leaning your weight into him. it’s silent for a moment, and then you’re being turned, warm hands cupping your cheeks and tilting your head up to meet wakasa’s gaze. his heart breaks a little at the glassiness of your eyes.

“then what’s got you all worked up, hmm?” he asks softly, and his thumb soothes over your cheek. the words almost tumble out of your mouth, but you stop yourself—and he can sense it. “tell me,” he says simply. “i want to fix it.”

and before you can hesitate, you’re blurting out, “it was our eighth month.” you look down, not meeting his eyes. “wanted it to be special. but that’s dumb, it’s okay, i was just bei—”

“ah fuck,” he curses. “knew i was forgetting something importa—okay, okay. new plan,” he murmurs, pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead, and you blink, brows furrowing that he’s not rolling his eyes, and he’s not telling you to get over it, and he’s not annoyed. “you finish up dinner, i’ll get you the fanciest reservation for tomorrow, kay? no more tears though,” he brushes away the last few on your cheek, hugging your waist as you process his words.

“what?”

“you heard me,” he whispers, voice husky as he trails kisses down your jaw, burying his face into your neck. “‘m sorry, baby. didn’t mean to forget.”

and it hits you that maybe you got it all wrong, that maybe you weren’t fair on wakasa. of course he cares, and a silly little eight month milestone isn’t silly to him if it’s important to you. you wrap your arms around his neck, shuffling closer.

“got all dressed up and cute that night,” you pout. “you didn’t even get to see.” he nods, rubbing small circles into your back.

“this is horrible news,” he mumbles. “i really missed out.”

“you did,” you nod, and he presses another kiss to your neck.

“s’okay, you’ll get all dolled up for me tomorrow, won’t you?” and finally, a small smile forms on your lips as you nod, relaxing fully into his embrace as he stays rubbing your back, the hurt and doubt and anger from before all melting away.

yeah, maybe you got it all wrong.

“you don’t deserve it,” you mutter.

“yeah, i don’t,” he agrees. pulling away, he looks at you with a small smirk, leaning in as his forehead meets yours. “but you’ll still do it for me anyway, right?”

and when you nod, his lips crash into yours, and you think maybe he is expressive—in his own annoying little way.

I for a minute thought that he has a point, but it's still light black for me.

Chifuyu, pointing at a wall: what color is this?

Takemichi: Gray.

(Name): Gray.

Chifuyu, turning to baji: Now tell them what color do you think it is.

Baji: Dark white.

I SWEAR IT WAS THE ONIONS-- ( ⚈̥̥̥̥̥́⌢⚈̥̥̥̥̥̀)

[♪ playing "History" by "One Direction" ♪]

· · · ✦

i really should have paid more attention in English so i have better vocab to describe this... this is so good ahhdjsjs so goof good so gOOODf

LITTLE DARK AGE

haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou

summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.

genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI

warnings: fem!reader, gang violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, explicit smut, polyamory, profanity, MCD, unedited, MTBA

chapter warnings: disassociation, class discrimination, mentions of suicide and mass death

taglist closed — but if ur someone who actively reblogs n leaves feedback i might just find a spot for u

previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter

CHAPTER Ⅶ. AND YOU'LL NEVER BE PURE AGAIN

FOURTEEN YEARS EARLIER.

“Do we really have to go?” Rindou murmured, tugging at the ends of his suit jacket uncomfortably, glancing back at you. Your shoulders slumped as you fixed your dress in the mirror, a pout tugging at your lips.

“I mean, you don’t have to but I just don’t wanna go to this stupid event alone,” you said, giving both of the brothers a sullen look as they shared a look with one another. 

“Whether the boys go with you or not, you won’t be alone,” Miss Yua chided as she brushed your hair, “Don’t be dramatic, your uncle will be attending with you.”

“Uncle Ichirou will be off with Mister Sugawara the entire night, he’s not even driving there with us! He will not be with me, I’ll be off on my own dealing with the creepy Sugawara boys,” you said loudly and let out a sharp cry as Miss Yua smacked the top of your head with the brush, clicking her tongue. “What was that for! They are creepy! They’re always hanging around me and being touchy when I tell them not to, and they’re mean, they always call me names.”

“They what?” Ran asked, voice low, and you missed the dark look that he shared with Rindou as your eyes fluttered shut, letting Miss Yua finish up pinning your hair. 

“You heard me, Ran!” you said, turning around once Miss Yua let her hands drop from your head. “They’re just so awful, don’t make me go alone, please.”

You puffed your lip out, looking up at Ran, “Pretty please,” you asked, widening your eyes and letting your bottom lip tremble. Ran rolled his eyes, flicking your forehead hard, you let out a yelp, flinching back.

“Stop with that stupid face,” he muttered, you gaped at him.

“Ran, don’t be mean,” Rindou said and you straightened, pleased that he came to your defense, “She can’t help it, it’s her natural face.”

You gasped dramatically as Ran and Rindou burst into laughter, “Rindou!” you complained, shooting him a withering look, “you guys are the worst! At least my face isn’t as stupid as your hair!”

Ran only grinned at you, his hand falling from the top of your head to your shoulder, squeezing gently. You looked back up at him, eyes meeting his lavender ones and you almost smiled at the light look in his eyes, one that you still hadn’t gotten used to seeing over the past few months. 

“Don’t be dumb, ‘course we’ll come with you,” he murmured and a warm feeling settled in your chest as Ran looked down at you, hand lingering on your shoulder. You felt your face begin to heat up and you looked away.

“... I don’t actually think your hair is stupid,” you muttered, and Rindou snorted, nudging your shoulder.

“Yeah, we know that from how often you force us to sit down so you can brush it,” he said and you whipped toward him, scowling.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it! You’re practically sitting there half-asleep and drooling by the time I’m done, Rindou!” you said and Rindou gaped at you.

“I do not! Take that back!” 

“You do too!” 

Miss Yua clicked her tongue sharply and the two of you quieted down, turning to look at her. Her eyes were trained on you and Rindou gave you a severe side-eye as you tried to shift behind him to step out of her gaze.

“Go to Ayato,” Miss Yua pointed her long finger at you, flicking the air, “He will-”

“Miss Yua!” you complained, watching as she raised her eyebrows at the interruption, “I do not need to be lectured about behavior by Mister Ayato this time! If anything, Rindou and Ran should be going to see him! This is their first time at an event like this!”

“Way to throw us under the bus,” Rindou muttered and you giggled, he only glared at you from beneath his long bangs. 

“Go,” Miss Yua said, and it wasn’t up for argument so your shoulders dropped and you pouted, ignoring the way that Rindou snorted as you turned on your heel and walked away.

“How do the two of you even see under this mop of hair? And what is this dye-job?” you heard Miss Yua snap as you made your way down the hall toward Mister Ayato’s office, “Next week the two of you will be dragged to the stylist down the street whether you like it or not. Understood?”

Miss Yua’s voice became muffled as you turned down the hall, distantly hearing Rindou and Ran muttering their agreement before your eyes fell upon Mister Ayato fiddling with a hunting knife on his desk. He placed it down once he saw you approach, you eyed it curiously, never having seen it before, “What’s that from?” 

“My brother’s,” Mister Ayato said simply, walking around the desk to step toward you, “he gave it to me a few days before he passed away.”

You blinked, “You had a brother?” you asked quietly. A brother that passed away like… your throat felt swollen. It’s been a good amount of time since you’ve thought deeply about your parents and little sister, the Haitanis were always sure to keep your mind off of it but…

“I did, he was ten years older than me, died when I was in my early teens,” Mister Ayato said, and you stared at him, waiting for him to explain. He patted your head, “Gang violence.”

… but you’d never be able to forget the pain.

“Oh,” you said, “Like-“

“No,” he responded before you could finish, “Not like the boys’ little delinquent groups, actual gang violence.”

“Oh,” you said quietly, looking up as Mister Ayato sighed deeply, a strange look in his eyes.

“Look out for them tonight,” he said quietly and your brows furrowed in confusion, “This event is going to have a lot of dangerous people, don’t let them do anything that would put a target on their backs.”

You stared at him, “A target?”

Mister Ayato’s face twisted, as if he were trying to figure out how to explain, “You… you are in a unique position. Your uncle is a powerful man, amongst the people that will be at tonight’s event, you will be untouchable. The boys do not have that same luxury, do you understand? You will have to use your status to protect them.”

An ill-feeling settled in your stomach, “They might be in danger?” your voice wavered.

You knew your uncle was involved with shady stuff. You’ve known it since the week of the trial but you didn’t think… You weren’t thinking, why would you want to bring Rindou and Ran around these people? You were too focused on your distaste of the Sugawara boys, you weren’t thinking about others who might be attending the event.

Mister Ayato shook his head, “I didn’t say that. There’s no inherent danger in simply attending the event and I doubt that they change their minds now, just make sure they don’t do anything to bring unwelcome attention, and if they do…”

“If they do, I will take it off of them,” you said firmly, nodding your head, “I understand.”

Mister Ayato eyed you for a minute before letting out another heavy breath, “I wish that your uncle didn’t demand your presence at these events,” he murmured, “he should wait until you’re older.”

You opened your mouth to speak but Mister Ayato only waved you off, “Go, Akira will drive you and the boys to the event. Be sure to stay with them.”

You nodded, walking back toward the door, pausing before turning to look back at the older man over your shoulder, “Mister Ayato?” he raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to continue, “uncle Ichirou doesn’t really tell me what goes on at these events but I know it's more than just a party.”

It wasn’t a question but Mister Ayato looked perturbed, he wouldn’t meet your eye. You frowned.

“It’s not for you to worry about now,” Mister Ayato murmured and you opened your mouth to protest but Mister Ayato gave you a stern look, one that had you faltering, “Go, Akira is waiting.”

--

“Do not do anything rash at this event for whatever reason, do you understand?”

Rindou’s fists were clenched tight at his side as he watched a group of boys his and Ran’s age leer in your direction as you gleefully spoke to an older woman that Rindou didn’t recognize--it was hard to remember Miss Yua’s words as you shifted uncomfortably, bright smile temporarily fading as you met eyes with one of the boys. He and Ran lingered near you, silently snacking on some of the cheese and crackers that had been set up on a nearby table. 

They had been like this for twenty minutes now, standing back while you talked to the older woman, trying to ignore the unwelcome stares of the boys halfway across the room. Rindou didn’t have to ask to know they were the Sugawara boys that you had been bitching about before you all left the penthouse--they were the only other kids their age at the event, dressed in clothes that Ran and Rindou couldn’t have even dreamt of being in the vicinity of three years ago.

Rindou tugged uncomfortably at his own suit jacket, shifting on his feet. He hadn’t been able to adapt as well to the new lifestyle as Ran did--though that shouldn’t have been much of a surprise to him, everything came naturally easy to Ran and that included shifting from a survivalist lifestyle to a luxurious one. The new expensive clothes that you, and now Ran, donned like a second skin felt like a silly costume on him, one that he couldn’t quite get used to. 

“Should we do something?” Rindou asked, watching as another smile wavered on your face at a particularly loud comment. “She’s uncomfortable.”

Ran’s lips twitched down, eyes dark with irritation and a sort of helplessness that Rindou hated seeing on his brother’s face. 

“We can’t,” he said and Rindou’s jaw was tight as he forced his gaze away from Ran and back onto you, a feeling akin to relief sweeping through him when he noticed you bidding goodbye to the older woman and walking back toward them.

And Rindou felt warm when he noticed the smile on your face become wider and more genuine as you drew closer to them. 

“Rindou,” you said and Rindou gave you a questioning look, “Wanna dance with me?” 

Rindou’s face heated up immediately, eyes wide as he looked between you and the dancefloor, taking a step back. Next to him, Ran snorted and grabbed his shoulder, holding him in place before shoving him forward toward you, “Go on, don’t let the princess down.” 

Rindou stumbled forward into you, barely catching himself. He shot Ran a betrayed look but you had already grabbed his hand, “Ran, you’ll dance with me next?” you asked gleefully. Rindou watched as Ran winked at you.

“Of course,” he said, grinning, but Rindou knew from the look in his brother’s eyes that Ran would be long gone before the song was over. 

You didn’t give him the chance to protest, instead only dragging him toward the dance floor, smiling bright as you took his hands into yours. Rindou was sure his face was on fire and he didn’t know why--because it was just you. And I mean, yeah, Rindou didn’t really like entertaining conversation or hanging out with anybody but you or Ran--he wasn’t the most sociable or friendly but he’d never been one to get flustered and-

You moved closer to him, Rindou leaned back. You glared, Rindou looked away.

“I can’t dance with you if you’re holding me three feet away, Rindou!” you said.

And Rindou’s mouth was dry, eyes trained on the wall behind you instead of looking down at you and your pretty dress and your pretty face. Not pretty, Rindou thought viciously as you wrapped your arms loose around his neck, pointedly looking at the hands dangling at his side and he reluctantly placed his hands at your waist, letting you lead him in time with soft music because Rindou had no idea how to dance and you knew it, and he knew it, and Ran knew it from how amused he looked, and if Rindou had to bet, anyone that looked in your direction would be able to tell from how stiff he moved. 

“Why ya so tense?” you asked, a teasing smile tugging at your lips and Rindou scowled, pointedly looking away.

“I am not,” he said and he hated how petulant he sounded because you obviously noticed it from how you tried to smother a laugh. He couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed because your eyes were light and you were happy and Rindou supposed that he could deal with the ego blow if it made you laugh.

“You totally are,” you giggled, leaning in close, and Rindou’s eyes widened as he leaned back instantly.

“Why are you getting so close?” he asked, flustered, sure that his face was burning red. 

“Why are you getting so nervous?” you countered, and Rindou hated how you didn’t even look bothered at the proximity because he didn’t even know why he was thrown off by it--it’s not like this was the first time you’ve ever been this close to him so he wasn’t sure why it was affecting him like this. He hated it. 

He looked back in the direction of Ran, panicked, but the panic dissolved when he caught the strange expression on Ran’s face--Ran hadn’t even seemed to notice that Rindou was looking at him, despite the fact that Ran was staring at you and Rindou, and the grin that had been on Ran’s face had fallen into a more conflicted expression that Rindou couldn’t quite decipher, which was odd because Rindou could usually read Ran pretty easily. 

But Rindou didn’t get the chance to try to figure out what had changed because you were grabbing his arm to spin yourself beneath it and Rindou was focused on not making a fool of himself in front of all of your uncle’s rich friends and colleagues.

But you only laughed, a bright carefree laugh that had Rindou’s chest feeling light and tight at the same time, and Rindou couldn’t help the smile that tugged at his lips as you finished spinning and leaned close to him, arms snug around his shoulders and smiling up at him before resting your head on his chest. 

And Rindou couldn’t breathe, his eyes were wide and his hands were almost trembling on your waist as you spoke, “I’m really glad you ‘n Ran came, Rin,” you said, and Rindou usually hated when people shortened his name but somehow when it was falling off of your lips, he couldn’t bring himself to hate it. “It would have been dreadfully boring had I been alone ‘n I’m sure those dumb boys would have tried something by now, so thank you, I know this isn’t exactly your scene.”

Your scene, he thought to himself, glancing around at the gilded walls and antiques decorating the room, thousand-dollar paintings lining the walls. That’s putting it lightly.

“You don’t need to thank us,” he murmured, “We wouldn’t just leave you here.”

“Even so, I still want to thank you,” you smiled, looking up at him with such a sincere look in your eyes that it had Rindou tongue-tied, only able to nod in response.

“If I had known we were allowed to bring any old lowlife, I would’ve brought the whore that was eyeing me up on the way over here to make this shitty event less awful,” an unfamiliar voice said and Rindou stiffened, eyes darting over to where one of the boys--one with dark hair and darker eyes, was now standing much closer to where he was dancing with you, eyeing the two of you distastefully.

You didn’t pause in your movements, instead bringing Rindou’s arm up for another spin, “I am not surprised you’d have to stoop to whores for company, Sakuya, nobody would willingly spend time with you unless they were paid.”

Rindou choked on air and one of the boys standing near Sakuya snorted, trying to muffle it with his hand as Sakuya shot him a dirty look.

Rindou eyed the boy from the corner of his eye--Sugawara Sakuya, he recognized, you had warned him and Ran about him and his brothers on the way over. Sakuya was the oldest son--seventeen, a year older than Ran, three years older than you--and he was also the most vocal and aggressive when it came to tormenting and bothering you.

“Rich coming from the girl whose only friends are street rats that only stay around because they need shelter,” Sakuya said coldly and Rindou watched as your expression dropped and your feet faltered, a hurt look spreading across your face.

And Rindou’s ears rung, his blood ran hot and it took all of his self-control not to launch himself forward and rip Sakuya’s head off. Instead, his grip only tightened on you, shifting you behind him so he could step forward.

There’s five of them, five of them and one of him, and he has to protect you. He won’t win—maybe? How well trained are they? He didn’t know, you had mentioned that they were trained in some sort of martial arts but not how skilled. 

“What’s going on?” Rindou nearly relaxed at Ran’s familiar voice coming from behind the two of you, stepping in front of you and next to Rindou.

Okay, it’ll be fine. They wouldn’t beat him and Ran together.

“What? Are you gonna say I’m wrong?” Sakuya scoffed, stepping forward closer to Ran, and Rindou felt anxious when he noticed the dark look in Ran’s eyes, one that promised blood and violence if Sakuya continued. Dread pooled in Rindou’s gut as Sakuya started speaking again, “You think everyone here doesn’t know you’re using her for her money… or are you using her for something else too?”

Rindou’s mouth was dry at the connotation and he could barely even think over the blood roaring in his ears. This fucking-

“Shut your fucking mouth,” Rindou spit out as Ran’s hand twitched at his side, “You have no fuckin’ idea what you’re talking about.”

Sakuya’s eyes snapped toward Rindou, a combined look of disgust and fury twisted onto his face.

“Who do you think you are?” Sakuya said, voice low as he walked closer to Rindou. Rindou tensed, Ran’s fist tightened as he shifted you further behind the two of them as Sakuya drew closer. “You have some nerve even looking in our direction, much less speaking. Know your place.”

“Our place?” Ran asked, eyes aflame and Sakuya only scoffed.

“You can wear all the fancy shit you want but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ll always be street rats. You don’t belong here,” Sakuya spat and Rindou’s jaw clenched at the comment, a strange feeling bubbling in his chest. Ran took a step forward, eyes dark, fist tight.

Fuck, this was going to get-

Rindou’s eyes widened when he felt you fling his hand off of your arm, pushing forward past him and Ran to stand chest to chest with Sakuya, “Bold coming from the son of a family that gets the majority of their money from my uncle. You would have nothing without us, you have some nerve coming to my family to talk about wealth, know your place.”

Murmurs broke out around the group of you but Rindou couldn’t focus on anything other than you—my family, you had said and the words bounced around in his head over and over again, my family, my family, my family.

Rindou bit the inside of his cheek, trying to calm himself down. He glanced at Ran, taking how his brother’s eyes were wide and trained on you.

Sakuya spluttered, “Excuse m-“

“You heard me,” you interrupted, “Get out of my sight, just looking at you makes me ill.”

Rindou gaped, Ran gaped, Sakuya gaped before fury washed over his face. He stepped forward, fist clenched but Ran and Rindou were there first, grabbing his wrists and holding him in place.

“I would listen to her,” Ran didn’t make any sort of explicit threat but the dark undertone was there—listen to her or we’ll make you.

But Sakuya didn’t look deterred—at least not until a new voice spoke up, “Sakuya, father told us not to antagonize the guests,” a new voice said and Rindou’s gaze darted behind the older boy to a younger one with dark hair and cold eyes that made Rindou feel distinctly uncomfortable.

“Kenji, mind your fuckin business,” Sakuya spit out but even as he said that, he ripped his arms from Ran and Rindou’s arms and stepped away, brushing at his sleeves. “Whatever, a pair of filthy street rats aren’t worth the trouble anyway—gonna catch something if we stay around them any longer.”

Rindou bristled but didn’t say anything as they walked away, not now, he reminded himself over and over and over again. He frowned when he caught sight of the younger boy, Kenji, eyeing you curiously before following after his brother.

You tugged at his and Ran’s wrist immediately and they followed along quietly, pulling them away from prying eyes and toward the stairs that led to the upper floor. You didn’t say anything until you opened the doors to the balcony. The cool night air hit him hard, washing the anger away as the distant sounds of the party became muted.

You leaned against the railing, looking up at the night sky instead of at them, Rindou’s feet moved on his own as he joined you at the railing, Ran lingered back. Rindou tried to shoot him a look but only got ignored. 

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, “They’re despicable. I should have said something sooner.”

“You shouldn’t have done that,” was all Ran said in response, “Gotten so nasty with them on our behalf, it could have-”

Rindou remembered Miss Yua’s warning, how their actions could have backlash on you, he felt sick.

You only rose your chin, “Don’t be silly, I’ll always defend you guys. I don’t care who it’s against!” you said firmly, and Rindou’s face was so hot that he swore he was on the verge of setting himself on fire. “Even Uncle Ichirou!” 

“Even who?” 

Rindou’s eyes widened at the sound of an unfamiliar male voice from behind the three of them, he watched as your mouth dropped open as you turned around to face the man that Rindou recognized from pictures as your uncle. You looked thrown off for a second before steeling your shoulders, “Even from you!” 

And Rindou tensed, waiting for your uncle to get angry but instead his expression only softened, if only barely, a fond look in his eyes as he looked down at you. 

“I hope they deserve your loyalty,” he murmured as if the two of them weren’t standing right there. Rindou shifted uncomfortably as your uncle’s gaze landed on him, a contemplative expression on his face. “I’ll speak to Sugawara about his boys. They were out of line approaching you as they did. Don’t stay up here too long, people will talk.”

Your shoulders slumped, “It’s stuffy in there and I hate all of them.”

Your uncle clicked his tongue, “Get used to it, this will be your life when you take over Izanagi from me,” he chided.

“I’m not taking over Izanagi!” you said firmly, “I’m going to make my own company and outdo yours, you’ll see!” 

Your uncle raised his eyebrows, an amused smile twitching at his lips before nodding, “Of course,” he said and you looked disgruntled at his tone but your uncle didn’t wait for another response, turning on his heel to walk back toward the event. 

You slumped as soon as he was out of sight, tossing a petulant look in the direction of where he disappeared to, “I will,” you muttered before letting out a loud, exhausted sigh, leaning back onto the railing and looking back up at the sky.  

For a few moments, none of you spoke, instead just basking in the silence of the night and the distant chatter of the party. It was peaceful--genuinely peaceful and Rindou didn’t often get to experience genuine peace like that so he shut his eyes and enjoyed it, letting out a soft breath at the feeling of the light breeze cooling his skin and running through his hair, your arm brushing against his. 

You broke the peace with a loud shout that startled him, his eyes flew open, watching as you pointed toward the sky, “Look! A shooting star! Make a wish, make a wish!” 

“Shooting stars are bullshit,” Ran said immediately.

“Make a wish!” you demanded and Rindou watched as you shut your eyes, looking up at the sky, a smile on your lips and your hands interlocked. His throat felt tight and he couldn’t tear his eyes off of you to make his own wish.

“What’d you guys wish for?” you asked after a moment and Rindou’s gaze darted back up when you reopened your eyes, looking at the sky.

“We can’t tell you, you idiot!” Ran said, “then it doesn’t come true,”

“I thought you said shooting stars are bullshit!” you accused, pointing at Ran and Ran spluttered, looking away.

Rindou took one last long look at your bright smile and Ran’s reddening face, a tight feeling on his throat as he looked back up at the sky, making his wish.

I don’t want this to end.

---

PRESENT.

You couldn’t breathe, it felt like your throat was stuffed with dust, your tongue was sandpaper. Your eyes were open and your vision was dark and blurry. 

Everything was silent.

What had happened?

You couldn’t move, something was on top of you, the lower half of your body was stuck—you couldn’t see and you couldn’t breathe and you couldn’t hear anything.

Something was wrong, you should hear something—you were at the auction, people were here and then-

And then what?

Your breath quickened, your throat burned. You couldn’t remember. Think, you told yourself, you had to th-

“Ah, shit! Takuya, I’m running late to the meeting, i-what do you mean you’re not at Suvala HQ? Who the fuck is there representing us? …. Damn it, Takuya, this looks so bad on us, we-“

“Y/n?” you looked up at the new voice, a smile pulling at your lips as you recognize the man standing in front of you.

“Hm? Oh! Hey, Takuya, I’ll talk to you when we get to the building, be there in 15, okay? … yeah, see you. Gunter! What’s up?”

You couldn’t see anything. Your eyes were opened, you knew they were opened so why? You craned your neck up, wincing at the pain, your heart was erratic in your chest. 

Your face was wet, you could feel something warm dripping down your forehead into your eyes—blood, you realized what had been obscuring your vision. You lifted an arm, gasping in pain as your entire body screamed and ached in protest. You wiped the blood from your face, cringing as it smeared across your skin.

You gagged at the thick scent of iron, of garlic—garlic, the explosion, Hanma, Hanma had thrown himself over you. And Rindou, Rindou was in there and Ran you didn’t know where Ran was.

You wiped more frantically, trying to blink away the spots and blood staining your vision. Your stomach churned uncomfortably, the remnants of the explosion—the smoke, the fire, it reeked, you couldn’t think over the smell it was consuming you just like it had-

“Shouldn’t you be at the meeting?” Gunter Krüger grinned at you, “Here, I grabbed an extra coffee for Felix, was gonna meet him and Adie at the office, you take it. Don’t tell him it was his though, yeah?”

You laughed, taking the coffee from him and a small sip, “Yeah, my uncle’s secretary held me up on the phone at the apartment. I’m running late, bad look, I know,” you told him, “Wanna walk with me over?”

“Yeah, let’s go, it’s a short walk. I can cover for you so it doesn’t look as bad,” Gunter offered as the two of you walked down the street toward the large glass building in the near distance, “Say that I needed help and it took longer than it should have.”

“Don’t tell Felix,” you winked, “but you’re definitely the better brother.”

Gunter burst into laughter, “You say that until Felix saves your ass from one of those board meetings again.”

“True,” you agreed, “This should be the last one though.”

Gunter glanced at you, interested, “The decision’s being made today?” he asked and your smile fell, knowing damn well that the decision being made was not in your favor.

“Yeah, the dec-” but you weren’t even able to finish your sentence, eyes wide and voice faltering as an explosion rocked the very ground you were standing on, sending you and Gunter both careening to the ground.

You had to get up. Your arms trembled as you tried to push yourself up off of the ground. You couldn’t push up, whatever was blocking the lower half of your body was too heavy for you to push off. Panic began to flood through you, the scent of blood got stronger, the air got thicker. You couldn’t breathe.

You lifted your head up, neck aching but you could make out figures--or not figures? You couldn’t tell. 

Not figures, you realized, grimacing at the debris scattered all over the auction hall, broken seats, remnants of the stage, the balcony near the stage. Your eyes darted around, mouth drying when you caught sight of Hanma Shuji laying unmoving several feet away, body half-covered with debris, evidently having been blown off of you during the blast.

You tried to call his name but it felt as if there were ashes stuffed down your throat, your chest felt tight when you noticed the blood pooling beneath him and you tried to push yourself to your feet again, arms shaking violently but you let out a sharp gasp as your body fell limp to the ground as you failed again.

Get up, you begged yourself, get up.

“Y/n, get up!” your ears were ringing and your eyes were wide, the pavement was cool against your cheek but the air was hot around you, uncomfortably so. What the fuck had happened? You could barely breathe, think, much less rise to your feet. 

But someone grabbed your arm, yanking you to your feet, your eyes drifted behind you, falling on Gunter pulling you to your feet, “We gotta get out of here, t-the building, Suvala it-”

“There are people in there,” you gasped but you could barely hear yourself, looking around at the screaming pedestrians, at the familiar building collapsing in on itself in the near distance, “Felix and Adie, Gunter they’re in the building, we-”

You pulled away from him, stumbling forward to run toward Suvala Headquarters, eyes blurring and throat burning, the only thought circling through your head being to get to your friends.

The pressure was pulled off of you and your eyes widened, you tried to push yourself up but a gasp was ripped from your throat as a hand fisted your hair, yanking you to your feet. You winced, pain shooting through you, you could taste blood in your mouth and you could still barely see. 

Your vision was blurry and spotted as you tried to look around, figure out what was going on--the front half of the auction hall was decimated--the explosion came from below, the other side of the building probably. Hanma had mentioned the storeroom was over there--someone had rigged it to explode? The phosphorus? The phosphorus wasn’t even supposed to be in the building, so how-

Hanma, your eyes darted around, he had covered you, you had to-

The grip on your hair tightened, your eyes widened and your lips parted to let out a cry of pain but nothing came out. You felt nauseous as your head was yanked back, turning it to the side, and your eyes fell upon the bloody, scarred face of Sanzu Haruchiyo, pink hair matted to his forehead and cheeks, eyes wild. His lips were moving--he was speaking.

He was speaking?

You couldn’t hear him? 

Panic began to swell as your eyes widened, as you looked around--you couldn’t hear anything. You should hear something--screaming, the aftermath of the explosion, the building collapsing in—but it was all silent, your stomach dropped, your heart caved in.

Sanzu’s grip tightened on your hair, something sharp pressed against your neck and you gasped as you were forced back down onto your knees, grimacing as a sharp piece of wood dug into your calf, throat burning uncomfortably.

Your knees hit the ground hard, tearing holes into the cloth of your pants as Gunter crashed into you from behind, preventing you from getting any closer to the building. His hands curled around your bicep, holding you in place as you tried to scramble back to your feet.

“Gunter let me go! Let me go! Felix is fucking in there, Felix and Adie, we-”

“If you go in there, you’ll die,” he shouted but his words were barely registering, you couldn’t tear your eyes off of the building, over the billowing thick, white smoke that was expanding over the street and the sky about Suvala Headquarters, the fire that was spreading to nearby buildings, a park full of children. You tried to push him off, his grip tightened, “We have to get out of here.”

“Felix and Adie-”

“They’re dead,” Gunter roared, and you could hear his voice crack. His wife, his brother, they- “If the explosion didn’t kill them, the smoke and fire did--do you smell that?”

Sharp pungent, like garlic--you couldn’t breathe, you barely even think but you were able to recognize what it might mean. Phosphorus? There was no way-

“We need to get out of here--the fire’s just going to keep spreading, we can’t let that shit touch us,” Gunter was tugging you to your feet, dragging you away, and you watched--you couldn’t bring yourself to cooperate as you watched a group of teachers desperately try to evacuate a nearby elementary school, as civilians ran into the building and ultimately to their deaths trying to help.

The smoke was toxic, the fire was spreading faster than people could run-

The fire, your eyes darted around, the smoke was rising on the other side of the room, fire spreading. You had to get out of here.

You tried to tug at Sanzu Haruchiyo’s wrist, “Fire,” you tried to say but you couldn’t hear yourself, you didn’t know if he could hear you, you didn’t even know if the words were coming out correctly, “We have to get out of here, the fire-”

The grip on your hair tightened, shutting you up, you inhaled sharply as something sharp dug harder into your neck--a knife?

Your head felt fuzzy and you would have swayed were it not for Sanzu holding you up, your eyes drifted around, vision doubled and you caught sight of Hanma on his hands and knees, something puncturing his side, blood dribbling from his mouth and smeared across his face but he was alive and as much as the man might cause you discomfort, you were relieved because you were pretty sure he had saved your life.

He was saying something, you could see his lips moving but you couldn’t hear and you couldn’t quite make out the words through the movements of his lips. He was angry, spitting out words, gaze directed toward you and Sanzu. 

You couldn’t breathe, everything hurt--the people, there were so many people in the auction hall. You tried to look around but Sanzu yanked your head back again, you grit your teeth. Your lungs burned and you couldn’t-

-breathe. You couldn’t breathe. Gunter was dragging you by the wrist away from the building, People were slamming into you, desperate to get away, some were trying to run in the opposite direction, yelling for who you assumed were loved ones that were supposed to be in the area.

You felt sick, you couldn’t breathe, you could barely even think, the only thing that kept you going was the hand wrapped around your wrist. He was talking to you but you could barely hear him over the screams and the fire roaring and spreading in the distance. 

What had happened? Phosphorus, that had to be intentional, who would target Suvala? Y-

“I’ll handle it.”

You felt cold, which was strange because the heat of the explosion and the fire should have been overwhelming. There were more people--someone was helping Hanma to his feet and you could only barely recognize Mina. Relief swept through you like a tidal wave, he was okay. Your lips parted to say something but no words left your mouth.

There was someone on the ground next to them, Mina was holding him by the neck.

Kokonoi? You recognized, blood drenching his white hair--he was hit in the head during the explosion. His eyes were unfocused as they fell on you, dazed, blood dribbled from his nose and his lip was split. He had been punched too, you realized, eyeing Mina’s bruised fist.

You felt the knife that Sanzu had at your throat press deeper, Mina’s face twisted, he yelled something, his grip on Kokonoi’s throat tightened. 

A stand-off, you realized, catching sight of the man that had interrupted Ran and Rindou from interrogating you, Kakucho, looking between you and Sanzu and Mina and Kokonoi warily, as if unsure what to do. He held out a hand toward Sanzu, lips moving and you wanted to scream because you couldn’t hear and you didn’t know what they were saying or how you could help.

You could never help, everything that went wrong was always your fault. You never should have come back to Tokyo and-

“I never should have asked you for help!” you screamed at the phone that was laying on the ground of your apartment a few feet away, your uncle was silent on the other end. You pulled at your hair, sobs and dry heaves wracking your body, the news played in the background. “I didn’t mean like this, you know I didn’t mean this!”

“There is no risk of this being pointed back at you. It’s all under control.”

“That’s not what I’m fucking worried about!” 

Mina was shouting, his grip on Kokonoi’s throat was tightening. You could read his lips now but the words weren’t registering in your head--I’ll snap his fucking neck if you don’t let her go. 

“Investigations on the tragedy at Munich point toward a lack of continuity in safety inspections leading to a massive gas line leak.” 

Sanzu shook you violently, blood dribbled down your neck, the knife cut deeper into your skin.

“Nearly six thousand killed in the horrific gas pipe leak at the Suvala office in Munich.”

You had to get out of the auction hall, your hands were trembling, the floor creaked dangerously, the fire was spreading to the walls behind you and it was hot, it was so hot that you felt cold. If you stayed any longer, the smoke and the heat, it would cause irreparable damage. 

“Phosphorus munitions involved in the devastating incident at Munich? Eyewitnesses claim so! What isn’t the government telling us? Why are they trying to brush this off as a gas pipe leak?”

“Have to get out,” you gasped but you still couldn’t hear yourself and you felt sick, you brought a hand up to your ear, desperately trying to blink back the tears that formed when you felt the blood. “The smoke is toxic, the fire-”

“You will get on that stage and announce the merging of Suvala and Izanami. I do not care for your personal feelings on the matter, y/n. I gave you what you asked for, the means of how it happened is inconsequential now. Take advantage of the opportunity or be swallowed by those who will.”

Your body was snapped to the side, your vision went black, pain shot through your head, you reeled trying to figure out what had happened. Your head, Sanzu bashed your head into the debris of the chairs.

“In light of recent events, I, l/n y/n, founder and chief executive of Izanami Connect, will take it upon myself to step in for Chairman Krüger after the tragedy in Munich as previous negotiations dictated. As I move to bring the company under Izanami’s wing, I will take steps to ensure a disaster like this will never occur again. I swear to do right by all of the families affected by this tragedy.”

Your shoulder hit the ground hard, a gasp ripped from your chest, pain ricocheted through your body so intense that it had you blacking out for a second, vision spotty and head fuzzy. Your arms trembled as you tried to push yourself up only to crash back toward the ground. You turned your head to the side, still trying to figure out what was going on.

Your mouth dried as you caught sight of Rindou grabbing Sanzu by the collar, driving his fist into his face over and over and over again and your lips parted to call out for him, eyes blurring with tears because he was alive, he was fucking alive and that all that mattered because the last time-

“L/n-san, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know you were close to both of the Krüger brothers. Chairman Krüger in the explosion and now Gunter… It must be so hard.”

The last time none of them survived. 

Or, well. 

You supposed one actually did. You felt sick. Gunter is alive.

Kakucho rushed toward Rindou, trying to pull him off of Sanzu and someone grabbed your arm hard, yanking you back to your feet. You turned your head, eyes wide, but relaxed when you realized it was Mina, he was looking over you, speaking to you, but you couldn’t hear. You shook your head, trying to focus on his lips but you were seeing double, triple, you couldn’t focus.

Mina seemed to realize, instead only wrapping an arm around your waist to help steady you before motioning for Hanma to follow, fleeing the auction hall and you wanted to scream, tell Rindou to get the fuck out of there but you could barely breathe, your vision was going spotty again as Mina jostled you around, the pain becoming too much for your body to handle before it finally gave out on you.

--- 

You weren’t sure how long it took for you to come back to but your entire body ached and burned when you did. You grimaced at the light, wincing as you tried to push yourself up to figure out where the fuck you were. 

“Careful,” a familiar, gruff voice murmured, “You got fucked up back there, take it easy.”

“No shit,” you muttered, looking at Mina, wincing as your neck shrieked in pain in response to the movement, “Where are we?”

“A safe house,” a new voice said and your gaze drifted to the other side of you, where Hanma Shuji was laying on a bed, shirt rolled up as a middle-aged woman worked on stitching up a wound on his side. Amber eyes watched you curiously, “You’re already up.”

“No shit,” you repeated and Hanma snorted in amusement. “Where’s everybody else? Kawaragi? The guys she was with?”

Hanma looked away. Your eyes turned to Mina, whose lips were pressed together tight before he spoke, “Haven’t heard from her. Apparently, she was supposed to be where the bombs went off, doubt she made it out.”

Oh, something familiar and unwelcome squeezed at your chest. You pushed it away. Stop, you barely even knew her. 

“Bombs? Plural?” you narrowed in, trying to remember if there was more than one explosion but your mind was being torn to shreds and you couldn’t focus enough to remember. 

“Mm,” Mina agreed, “There were two explosions--a smaller one, which we assume was a grenade or something of the sort that set off the phosphorus munitions. Fucking lucky that the majority of it was being held in another warehouse otherwise we’d be melted right now.”

You felt ill. You opened your mouth to speak but paused when you noticed movement from the corner of your eye: Hanma waving away the nurse carelessly, teeth grit as he pushed himself to his feet, rolling his shirt back down, “C’mon, Sugawara wanted to talk to us when you woke up.” 

Mina looked between you and Hanma, a protest on his lips but Hanma simply ignored him, holding a hand out toward you.

“Why?” you asked warily, dread pooling in your gut. 

Hanma shrugged, “Didn’t explain,” he said simply, glancing down at his hand pointedly. Reluctantly, you took his hand, letting him help you to your feet and hook an arm around your waist to help you walk steady.

Mina rose to his feet, eyes narrowed. A mocking smile curled to Hanma’s lips, “Relax, I’ll bring her right back,” he cooed and Mina’s eye twitched, he stepped forward.

You shook your head and he frowned but stepped back, the wary expression not leaving his face, “I’ll be back,” you told him as Hanma started moving toward the exit of the room, not giving Mina any time to respond. As the two of you walked down the tiled floors of the hall outside the room, a dry comment rose to your lips, “Thought Sugawara said he’d bet his life the weapons weren’t at the auction hall.”

The mocking smile on Hanma’s face shifted into a crueler one, a playful look in his eyes that you weren’t quite sure how you felt about, as he looked down at you, “Maybe we should hold him to that, yeah?” 

You forced yourself not to let your eyes widen at the statement as Hanma pulled you down another hall toward a large open room, letting go of you as soon as you got in sight of the others in the room. No showing weakness, you understood as he forced himself not to wince with every step--he had been leaning on you for help as much as he had been helping you, you realized with a frown.

You shook your head, focusing on keeping yourself steady instead of Hanma Shuji so you didn’t make a fool of yourself in front of the other executives of Sugawara’s organization.

Your uncle was here, you noticed the grim look on his face and frowned. He refused to meet your eyes and an unsettling feeling took over--the woman from the meeting, Alyona, was standing next to him and on her other side, looking down at something you couldn’t quite see from where you were standing was Sugawara. 

He smiled bright when he saw you and Hanma, “Shuji, y/n, there you are! We’ve been waiting. I’m glad you’re okay, I heard the explosion was pretty bad.”

Pretty bad, your ears rung as you stared at him, certain that you must not have heard him correctly. Three-quarters of the people in that auction hall were probably killed. And he’s-

“It’s a shame it didn’t take out any of the Bonten executives though,” he frowned, and your eyes narrowed--how did he know that already? You glanced at Hanma but his expression was also tight and you could see the confusion spotting his eyes, “But! It’s not all bad news because we managed to get our hands on one of their executives anyway!” 

Tunneled. Your vision tunneled and the sound around you muted. 

Got our hands on one? But…

Your eyes drifted to the center of attention of the rest of the room, the figure tied on the ground, and at once, your entire world fell apart--the breath ripped from your lungs, the air around you became oppressive and suffocating, everything crumbled in a matter of seconds. 

Ran.

---

WORDCOUNT: 8K

REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK VERY MUCH APPRECIATED !!

I WANT THIS WOMANN

Ha, I lived!

Apologies for not posting any stories, school's... Anyways, new fandom for me and for you.

Tokyo revengers! So feel free to send request or ask.

And this is to celebrate me having 400 followers! 💖 Thank you all!! 💞

|Warning/s ➼ NSFW, fem!reader, language, swearing, cheating, angst, mentions of blood, making out, mention of gun and killing, not proofread.

|Character/s ➻ Bonten: Ran, Rindou, Sanzu/Haruchiyo, Kakucho, Koko.

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"Busy, huh?"

The room that was filled with laugh or giggling, flirty remarks died down once they heard a mocking voice across the room as the faint music continued to play in the dance floor of the club.

"Busy tryna fuck another woman?"

Asked the same voice as the two purple head brothers curled their lips upwards into a smirk while the rosy pink haired man stared in a stoic expression as the figure sat across him with one leg above the other with an icy stare and fierce eyes.

"[Y/n], baby." Sanzu called out, lips now curled into a smirk as he removed his hand on the waist of the woman that was on his lap, grinding her ass on him earlier. "What brings you here? I thought you were out on a mission today?"

You take out a gun behind you which made the people in the room to think if you were gonna shoot the pink haired or the woman that was on his lap.

"Bastard went here to hide." You inform which the men knew who while you start to smirk with half lidded eyes. "Don't worry, he's dead now." You add, waving the gun in hand with a smug look as the women in the room flinched at what you said.

"And just as I was about to leave, I happen to see your pink ass hair, see you kiss another woman, and see another woman fucking sit on your lap and grind her ass on you." Obviously the last mentioned girl flinched and felt like she would pass out while her friends stared anxiously.

"This isn't what it looks like, baby." He said with a smile before turning his face to the woman that was still on him and gestured his head for her to get off which she gladly did and was fast to do so.

"I missed ya, sweetheart." You let out a scoff, the girls in then room looked perturbed at your bloody feature along with a bloody gun in hand.

"And what do you mean by busy trying to fuck other women? " Sanzu repeats questioningly as he grins. "You know that you're the only one for me, yeah?"

"Here, my lady." Ran spoke beside you with his handkerchief in hand. You glance at him and took the soft fabric without saying anything back and started to clean the red on your face away with closed eyes.

"Shut up." You say with shaded eyes towards Sanzu, gesturing for him to sit back down, knowing he was about to approach you as Rindou poured you a drink while they both snickered, amusement written all over their faces when the pink haired frowned with a small huff escaping his lips as he obeyed your words, not wanting to piss you off any further as you placed the bloody gun on the table, making the four women to glance at each other anxiously.

"I know what I said." In a dark voice you say with narrowed eyes.

"Busy, will be home late again. Got more work to do, love you." You wave your phone, showing Sanzu's text that you just read then placed it next to the gun.

"Got more work to do? Really?" You repeat with a chuckle. "You should've just right out said, got more women to fuck." You glared at your boyfriend with a piercing gaze which made him feel a shiver run down his spine, liking the feeling.

"There's no need for me to hear an explanation, save your breath as I don't want my time to be wasted." You lean your back against the couch and took a sip of the liquor Rindou poured for you then finishing it in one go before staring straight into Sanzu's eyes as he does the same to you.

He's liking this harsh and cold treatment. The way you stare him in a piercing icy gaze which he finds sensuous, along with the feeling like you're staring straight at his soul, the way you speak as he felt shiver run throughout his body.

You're so hot and hella sexy, especially with the blood on your face and hands earlier before you cleaned them off.

Sanzu cheated on you just because he thought that it would be fun and a thrilling experience for him. He even imagined himself on what kind of reaction would you give if he does get himself caught by you as he fucks another woman while you stare in front of them, too shocked to do anything but cry as they both finish and reach their high.

Scratch that. He knows that you wouldn't shed a tear, well at least in front of him as you refused to show your vulnerability around people you don't want to.

Your reaction would probably be: humiliate the woman by dragging her ass out of your shared apartment after throwing her clothes out of the window, let her walk out the building and streets completely naked.

And now he's wondering what kind of punishment he'd receive from you. Would you kill him? Nah, too easy. Poison him little by little?

Just the thought alone was exhilarating for him! He can't wait for the day to come.

What kind of revenge would you do?

"You had sex with several women on the same bed we sleep and fuck too." Despite feeling the heavy feeling in your chest, you refused to show any weakness. "I couldn't even fucking sleep peacefully there."

Oh, so you did caught him.

Despite feeling ashamed, guilty, or sad at the thought of you leaving him because of the things he's done, Sanzu couldn't help but feel his heart beat fast from excitement.

You let out an exasperated sigh while you brush your hand through your hair when you saw how his eyes gleamed. "Twisted motherfucker." You murmur with a scowl. "I've been keeping my mouth shut since I didn't wanna lose you."

The women in the room flinched when they heard the loud sound of the gun echoed through their ears. "But I'll save myself from further heartache."

Sanzu bites the lower part of his lips, his legs were a little spread apart as there was a hole just above his crotch which you obviously shot as the Haitani brothers let out a small whistle or coo.

"We're over, hm?" You say, eyes closed as you smiled at the now blushing man which made you stare with contempt. "Fucking disgusting." You laughed out while making your way towards him to step on the space between his legs.

"You almost got your dick shot at, yet you got fucking hard." You sneer at him then moved your shoe a little higher, earning a hiss from him when it touched his clothed erect.

"You can all leave now, you know?" Rindou states to the shaking girls. The four of them didn't even waste any time to scurry away from the room, especially you.

"Anyways," you turn around and walk towards the older Haitani who smirked when you got on top of him, facing him as you sit on his lap while he glances at Sanzu with lazy eyes.

"Thanks for the handkerchief, darling." You say, pecking his lips first as you wrap your hand on his tie before turning your head to face Rindou. "And thanks for the drink, sweetie."

"You both are such good boys to me." Ran chuckles before you pull him by his necktie and make out again, sucking each others tongue.

"Don't leave me out." Rindou said making you both pull away and laugh. "Don't worry, we won't." You replied in a husky voice as Ran starts to pepper your neck with kisses while your other hand goes to Rindou's tie, softly pulling him in and start kissing him too.

He put his hand behind your head, pull you in more towards him making for the kiss to deepen and rough as you feel your lips getting swollen, but of course you didn't mind that and glanced at Sanzu, seeing him watch with bloodshot eyes just like how you did yesterday when he fucked a bitch on your bed.

"What?" You let out a chuckle at Sanzu's expression after pulling away from the younger Haitani, letting them both wander their hands on your body while sucking, nibbling, or giving your neck wet kisses or bruises just to anger the pink haired more.

"Of course, when you were out fucking other women, I started to do the same." You say with a snicker. "I fucked your boss," you let out a moan when Rindou bit your shoulder. "Your friends, shit," you groan out as Ran played with your nipples. "And your brother." Rindou chuckles when he insert his hand inside your pants after unbuttoning it, feeling your already soaking wet pussy.

"When you were cheating on me I was doing the same." The brothers both furrowed their brows when they noticed how your voice cracked a bit, along with the pain and sadness in your teary eyes.

Sanzu didn't even expect this. Of course, you were always unpredictable to him and everyone in the group.

One of your charms that he, no, not just him but everyone fell for that they all started to fight over on who would be in a relationship with you first which the pink haired won.

How could it even slip in his mind on how hard he worked to have you, to get you, to be with you yet he suddenly forgot about it by cheating on you just because he got bored one day and wanted something to rush some adrenaline in him.

"I could've just ended our relationship when I first found out about you cheating on me or when I started to fuck other men since it's toxic..." With a brittle voice, you stopped talking, not wanting for the pink haired to witness you get weak or hurt and just leaned in to kiss Ran.

"Fuck drama." You suddenly say with a deep chuckle as both brothers each kissed your eyes and licked the tears that escaped there. "What matters is that I finally ended our 7 months of relationshit."

Rindou leans in to kiss your swollen lips again, his hand still playing with your cunt, teasing your slick before entering two fingers and abuse your tight hole roughly with it, despite wanting to shove his dick badly, fuck you till you can't walk for days, and fill you up with his cum. The thought alone made his cock twitch and make him groan in kiss.

"fucking sexy." Ran said in a gruff voice, both hands gripping your hips tightly which made you sure that it'd leave a bruise. "I wanna feel your tight pussy again, [Y/n]." He whispered your name in a low seductive voice making you moan as Rindou pulled away to let you catch your breath while Ran lets out a small grunt when he pressed your hips down on his clothed dick, putting more pressure on it.

"I bet Sanzu would even enjoy the show." The short purple head said, glancing at the said male again. "You're soaking wet and ready anyways." Rindou joins in with a chuckle as he showed his fingers at you.

Your juices gleaming and slowly dripping down his hand which you find sexy, especially when he started to suck and lick his fingers while staring at you.

Your bit your quivering lip when you felt your pussy throb and get even more wet. The sexual tension around you three was heavy that it made Sanzu hiss when he felt his hard dick throb too, despite feeling his blood boil.

You turn your head and get your phone on the table when it started to ring. Ran was about to take your phone away but you avoided him before he could and answered the call.

"Hey, Kaku." You greet, trying your best not to let out a moan when Rindou started to play with your pussy again, giving your clit harsh circles as Ran plays with your mounds and give your neck some more hickeys with Sanzu glaring daggers silently at the brothers.

"Alright. I'll be there in a minute." You let out a laugh when you heard Koko's voice about you hurrying your ass in the car or he'll punish you which earned a glare and a shut up from Kakucho beside him before hanging up.

"Let's continue this some other time." You coo as you start to fix yourself after getting up on Ran's lap and buttoning your pants back.

"[Y/n]-" You stared at Sanzu with cold eyes that made his heart ache while you place your gun back behind your pants then wear your jacket. Now he feels guilty and regrets what he's done.

Moron.

"Goodbye." Was the last word you said, icy stare back again as you turn your back at him and walk away.

"If you stopped taking those drugs maybe you wouldn't have done those stupid things." Rindou laughs out which made Sanzu to growl at him and walk towards their messy form. "But thanks to those, [Y/n] finally gave her attention to us." He adds with a smirk.

"Just 'cuz [Y/n] screwed with you both or all of you, she's mine, ya got that?" He says with narrowed eyes and furrowed brows making Ran to chuckle.

"She was yours." He comments as he stared at Sanzu with half-lidded eyes. "You shouldn't have cheated on her if you'd regret it in the end." The younger Haitani spoke too.

"If [Y/n] says your relationship with her is over, then it's over." Ran says as he drinks the glass of liquor that he poured for himself in one go before standing up and taking his jacket, his younger brother following suit.

"Exactly." Rindou spoke as he pats Sanzu's shoulder then passed by him. "See you tomorrow, man."

"Don't worry, we'll treat her better." Ran glanced at the furious man with a deep chuckle saying his last words for the night before completely leaving the club with his brother.

"Better than you did ♡."

UGHHH THE TENSION I WANT MOOOREEE!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

LITTLE DARK AGE

haitani ran x fem!reader x haitani rindou

summary: eight years later, you finally return to tokyo and find yourself caught in the middle of a violent gang war between the two most ruthless criminal organizations of tokyo’s underworld, forced to choose between blood and love.

genre: bonten timeskip, angst, forbidden romance, childhood friends -> strangers -> lovers, 18+ MDNI

warnings: fem!reader, gang violence, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, explicit smut, polyamory, profanity, MCD, unedited, MTBA

chapter warnings: mentions of suicide

taglist closed — but if ur someone who actively reblogs n leaves feedback i might just find a spot for u

previous chapter -> masterlist -> next chapter

CHAPTER Ⅵ. KNOW THAT IF YOU HIDE, IT DOESN'T GO AWAY

FIFTEEN YEARS EARLIER.

You sat outside the shop, a pout tugging at your lips, fingers twitching in your lap as you waited for the mechanics to finish up working on Mister Ayato’s car. You shot a long look back toward the inside of the shop, where Mister Ayato was standing and talking to a young, dark-haired man smoking a cigarette as he worked beneath the car.

Ran and Rindou had stopped meeting you to walk you back to the penthouse from school. The thought laid suffocating on your chest, and you felt as if a thousand weights had been placed on your shoulders. They had been out of the detention center for nearly four months now, after having been put away for a year, and they had changed while they were gone.

And you supposed you should have expected it--they were gone for a whole year and they had only been with you for a little over eight months but…

Your chest felt tight as you shoved your hands in your pockets trying to push away the increasingly dark thoughts and failing. It wasn’t like they had left entirely--they still show up for dinner and breakfast and they still come back to the penthouse and sleep there but they never tried to hang out with you anymore. Or, you suppose, Rindou didn’t anymore. Ran never did.

And it wasn’t fair, and maybe you were being selfish because they had no obligation to hang out with you and do things with you but you had been hoping that things went back to normal when they got back from the detention center, no matter how unreasonable of a thought that might have been.

Is it really that unreasonable? you thought to yourself mournfully. You didn’t think so--all you wanted to do was go out with them and spend time with them--or even if they didn’t want to be seen with you in public, you were fine with just relaxing around the penthouse with them, really! You just didn’t want to be alone. 

You hated being alone.

“What’s your issue, kid?” an unfamiliar voice asked and you jumped, not even having heard someone approach. You turned, eyes narrowed as you examined the new arrival--a young man with tousled white hair and droopy lavender eyes, a lollipop stick dangled between his lips and you frowned, raising your chin.

“I don’t have an issue,” you said, pointedly looking away. You watched from the corner of your eye as the white-haired man raised his eyebrows before shrugging. 

“Whatever,” he said, turning to walk away and your head snapped to the side, looking after him.

“My friends don’t really talk to me anymore!” the words burst from your lips before you could stop them, your face felt hot as the white-haired man looked back at you. You stared down at the ground, refusing to look at him, “W-well I suppose that’s not entirely true! They still talk to me but they don’t hang out with me anymore, and I find that really strange, you know? Because they live in the same penthouse as me and I’m unsure as to what I did wrong. They used to hang out with me all the time but every time I ask them now, or try to corner them, they make up some dumb excuse and leave.”

“Go hang out with other friends,” the white-haired man said and you shot a weak glare in his direction.

“I don’t have any other friends,” you muttered, and it was bitter to admit out loud. You had been so lonely while they had been in the detention center, counting down the days until they were released.

The white-haired man toyed with the lollipop stick in his mouth, “Go make other friends,” he said and you scowled looking away and rising to your feet.

“You’re no help,” you said, “Tell Mister Ayato I’m walking to the nearby park, he can pick me up there whenever his car is done. It’s boring waiting here.”

You didn’t wait for a response, a frown tugging at your lips as you started down the street back in the direction of the park you had seen on the way to the shop, hands shoved deep in your pockets and eyes trained down.

You heard a group laughing from the other side of the street and your eyes darted to the side, watching as a bunch of kids your age chased each other down the street. Your lips trembled and you let out another shaky breath, kicking at a stray pebble and watching it tumble down the street.

You missed them.

Your chest felt tight and an unwelcome feeling swept over you. You didn’t even know what you had done to make them distance themselves from you as they had. It had just been… well, as soon as they had come back, really. 

Maybe you hadn’t visited them enough, you considered, fingers fiddling together. You tried your best to visit once or twice a week but you could only get to the detention center if Mister Ayato drove you there and he couldn’t make the trip all too often because he was busy. 

You supposed you could have tried to push more but-

“-ion, enough.”

You turned your head, following the voice and peering down an alley, catching sight of a boy with blonde hair and a lion tattoo on the side of his head, metal glinted on his fingers as he brought his fist down on a limp body below him. Your eyes widened as you froze midstep, eyes trained on the bleeding, unmoving boy below him. 

Your lips parted as if to say something but you weren’t even sure what you were going to say. You should leave, you knew you should be running in the other direction, Rindou and Ran had told you a billion times not to go fucking around with delinquents around the city--especially not in areas other than Roppongi but-

“Who the fuck are you?” 

Your eyes widened as the blonde boy turned toward you--dark eyes narrowed in your direction, blood staining his face that he smeared as he took a step toward you, wiping at his cheek and mouth. He was older than you, probably Ran’s age, and your fingers shook as he eyed you.

“Oi, I asked you a fuckin-”

“Y/n?” a familiar voice asked and relief swept through you like a tidal wave as your gaze drifted behind the blonde and onto the oddly dyed hair of Rindou, eyes meeting his confused lavender ones. “The hell are you doing here?” 

He sounded annoyed and the relief and excitement at seeing him gave way to embarrassment--especially as your eyes fell upon Ran standing behind Rindou, catching sight of his irritated expression.

You were bothering them? 

Your throat felt tight at the realization--it wasn’t as if you had gone looking for them you just… stumbled upon them. Ran pushed himself off of the wall he was leaning on between two larger boys you didn’t recognize, his bangs swished in his face as he walked away from the group and toward you, a cold expression decorating his face, Rindou at his heels.

“Who the fuck is she?” the blonde repeated, “Don’t tell me you guys are already buying who-”

Ran hit him so hard over the back of the head that it nearly sent him barreling toward the ground. He let out a string of curses, dark eyes meeting Ran’s furiously but he paused at the tight expression on the older Haitani’s face. 

“Watch your fucking mouth, Shion. She look like a fuckin’ whore to you?” Ran asked, voice low and the blonde, Shion, spared one more look toward you, eyeing you curiously.

“This is your girl?” a new voice asked and your gaze shot back toward where Ran had been, eyes falling on the larger of the two boys that had been standing next to Ran. Blue eyes flickered toward you but you couldn’t meet them, instead letting Ran shift to stand in front of you, eyes meeting Rindou’s as he grabbed your forearms, looking you over to make sure you weren’t hurt. 

His thumbs ran over your skin gently and you paused at the unusually serious look in his eyes as his hands dropped from your forearm after realizing that you were unharmed. 

“Yeah,” Ran said, “We’ll talk to you guys later, gonna walk her back.”

“Why don’t you let her hang?” Shion asked, still watching you from the corner of his eye, ignoring the way that Ran seemed to bristle at the comment.

“Let’s go,” Ran muttered, ignoring Shion and grabbing your arm, turning you around and dragging you away from the group of boys--as you turned, you caught sight of a platinum-haired boy with amethyst eyes trained sharply on you.

Ran was rough as he pulled you away from the group and down the road, his grip on your bicep was bruising and you winced, trying to tug away from him but his grip only tightened, tears stung at your eyes, you grit your teeth together tight.

“Ran, you’re hurting me,” you gasped as he tugged you around another corner and down an alley, letting go of your bicep and letting you stumble forward. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Ran demanded, voice venomous, and you flinched at the words, drawing back until your back pressed against the wall. Your throat closed up as you parted your lips as if to respond, but Ran didn’t give you the chance, “How many times have we told you not to go following us out here-”

“I wasn’t,” you tried to say but your voice faltered under Ran’s furious stare. You steeled yourself, fists tight at your side as you tried again, “I was not following the two of you. Mister Ayato was in the area getting his car worked on. I was on my way to the park to wait for him to finish because it was taking too long.”

“So what? You decided to wander around on your own?” Ran spit out, “Shibuya isn’t Roppongi, y/n. It’s fuckin’ dangerous over here. Roppongi is safe because we took it over from Max Maniacs--where do you think all of the fuckers that refused to listen to us went after we took over? Here. They came here.”

Your face felt hot as embarrassment flooded through you, Rindou wouldn’t meet your eyes, and you didn’t want to look at Ran, “Hey, look at me,” Ran snapped, noticing how you were avoiding his gaze. Reluctantly, you pulled your gaze back up from the ground to look at him. His jaw was clenched tight, he inhaled deeply as if trying to calm himself down, “Y/n, you can’t-”

“I can’t what?” you snapped--or tried to, at least, your voice cracked over your words, “You guys-” you took in a breath trying to steady yourself, “You guys don’t do anything with me anymore. And you don’t tell me anything except ‘don’t go there,’ ‘stay away from here,’ ‘we’ll see you later,’ ‘we’ll hang out another time’ except you never do! I never see you later and you never hang out with me later, and it’s not fair.”

“It’s not fair?” Ran gaped, “We’re trying to fucking protect you, y/n. You’re being immature.”

You stared at him. Your ears rung

Immature, you bit your lip hard, trying to stop it from trembling. Immature, they think you’re immature.

Were you being immature? 

You didn’t think you were--you just missed them, and wanted to know what you did for them to start distancing themselves from you so suddenly. You didn’t get it--how they were preaching about protecting you as if avoiding you protected you in any way.

“I’m being immature?” You hated how weak your voice sounded. Ran shut his mouth immediately at your words, you stepped closer to him, hands trembling, “Immature?” Ran didn’t respond and Rindou looked half ready to step between the two of you, resolve weakened at the sight of the tears building in your eyes, “You guys treat me like a pet to come home to. I don’t understand what I did wrong, why don’t you do things with me anymore?”

“We don’t want to get you involved with this, y/n,” Rindou murmured, finally speaking up, “It’s dangerous and-”

“So you think you can just keep it separate? I’ve been involved since the day I stopped on the street to help you guys,” you said, looking between them, before focusing on Rindou, “They already know who I am, Rindou. From the trial. A bunch of them were there when I lied on the stand. You can’t just hide this from me, or try to avoid me or distance yourself or whatever bright idea you have and think that everything will work out fine.”

Neither Rindou or Ran spoke, nor did they meet your eyes, and you hated it, you could feel the anxiety clawing at your chest, “I just want things to go back to normal,” you said shakily, “and maybe that is immature of me but I don’t care. I miss you guys. I don’t like this.” 

Rindou shared a look with Ran, one that you couldn’t quite decipher but in that brief moment, they seemed to have a full-on conversation with each other. “Things are getting more dangerous,” Ran finally said but all of the heat was gone, “And it’s only going to keep getting more dangerous, we-”

“That doesn’t mean you have to cut me off,” you said.

“We’re not cutting you off,” Rindou immediately protested, a hurt look spreading across his face, “We would never-”

“It feels like it,” you said and Rindou froze mid-sentence, lips parted as he stared at you, as if he hadn’t even realized how their actions were coming across, “You guys barely talk to me anymore except at like dinner--assuming you even show up. And whenever I try to hang out with you guys, you brush me off. And even when you do talk to me, it’s really dry.”

“We don’t want you to get hurt,” Ran said and you looked up, eyes meeting his, he didn’t look as confident in his words as he had looked a few moments ago and you took the opportunity to deliver another blow.

“How are you going to stop me from getting hurt if you’re never around?” 

Ran went silent, gaze drifting away from you. Rindou couldn’t look you in the eyes, instead looking down at the ground. You waited a few moments, waited for one of them to say something, but neither spoke up. You let out a breath, considering your words, “I just-’m not asking for you to bring me to all of your dumb gang hang outs. I just don’t want to be alone all the time. You guys don’t even walk with me to school and back home anymore,” your voice cracked, you swallowed and looked up at the sky, “and I get you don’t want to tell me everything but like it would help me understand better, and be less sad when you guys have to blow me off to do other things instead of just being like ‘gotta go.’”

“We don’t want to involve you more than you already are,” Ran said half-heartedly, “It’s dangerous-”

“I’m not asking you to,” you said, “I’m asking you to stop avoiding me, and lying to me, and ignoring me. I just want you to spend time with me again, and tell me what’s going on so I can understand.”

Neither of them responded, again. You grit your teeth, “Please,” you said, and they both finally looked at you, “at least promise me that you won’t try to hide this from me anymore--hiding it isn’t just going to make all of the stuff you’re worried about disappear, and if I don’t know, I won’t know what to look out for either, y’know? So promise me you’ll be more open, at least.”

Ran stared at you for a moment, once again looking at Rindou, having a silent conversation that you couldn’t quite understand before Ran turned his attention back toward you.

“Fine,” he said and you swore your heart leaped in your chest at his words, eyes brightening, the heavy weight on your shoulders disappearing momentarily, “we promise.”

PRESENT

“Man, I think the last time we talked was in Munich! Can you believe it’s really been six years?”

Your head was light and you felt dizzy, you swore your vision was spotted as you looked back over your shoulder, eyes catching the glittering dark ones of Gunter Krüger as he waved at you, a wide smile decorating his lips. It took all of your self-control trying not to let the distress become visible on your face, and you weren’t even sure if you were succeeding.

No way, you thought to yourself, tongue darting out to wet your dry lips but you were looking at him, you were looking at him, he was in front of you and-

“You good, y/n? Look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Krüger laughed easily as he approached you, mocking you. He was mocking you because he knew that you thought you were looking at a ghost--a ghost of your past that you hadn’t ever expected to encounter again because- “Didn’t expect to see you around these parts,” Krüger nodded, reaching out to squeeze your bicep just a bit too tight, the smile on his face thinned for just a second, his eyes flashed cold, “or well, maybe I did.”

The add-on was cryptic, his voice was low, your eyes met his dark ones and you caught the chilling look in his eyes. He knows, you swore you felt as if the room was caving in around you, all thoughts of Ran and Rindou and stress about Hanma and Kawaragi flushed away as you stared at the new arrival.

He knows, you wanted to throw up--how did he know? How was he even here? 

Look like you’ve seen a ghost, you thought bitterly, a ghost, a ghost, because he is one. Or should be one. He should be dead, he was supposed to be dead. 

He should be dead. His grip tightened on your bicep, it hurt. 

How was he here? Your mind was running at a million miles a second, trying to put together the pieces, trying to figure out what had happened but it was impossible to put together a puzzle that you only had half of the pieces to. He was dead--you knew he was dead, your uncle had confirmed it, Takuya had confirmed it, you had gone to his fucking funeral. 

“L/n-san, I’m sorry for your loss. I know you had been close to both of the Krüger brothers, it must be difficult having lost them both in such a short period of time.”

You couldn’t breathe, you had to relax, don’t let it show on your face. 

Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. 

But you couldn’t, you couldn’t. Your heartbeat wouldn’t slow down, your breath was becoming erratic, shaky. Calm down, you thought desperately, eyes unconsciously seeking out help from the nearest source of familiarity. Your gaze met Rindou’s, and you swore the only thing that grounded you to your current reality was the bruising grip on your bicep.

-- y/n, what’s going on? you could see him begging, eyes searching yours for any sort of answer. You knew he and Ran must have a million questions for you--why were you with Hanma Shuji and Kawaragi Senju? Why were you really back in Tokyo? Why were you at the auction? Who the fuck was this guy? Where have you been the past eight years? Why didn’t you ever reach out to them? Why were you on the opposite side? Why weren’t you standing with them, where you belong? 

You couldn’t answer them, you didn’t know if you’d ever be able to answer them. You shouldn’t even be looking at him--Hanma would notice, Kawaragi would notice, they would see you looking at him and question why but his eyes were the only thing stopping you from spiraling because Gunter Krüger should be buried six feet under, you had watched them lower his casket into the ground six years ago when he killed himself after his wife and brother had been killed during the Munich incident. 

“C’mon,” Krüger complained, leaning in close—his eyes were bright, dancing with something that didn’t sit right in your stomach, something that just wasn’t quite all there compared to the friendly, calm tone of his voice, “Not even gonna say hi? Thought we were closer than that, y/n.”

All of those nights out with him and his wife and brother, laughing, drinking, playing those dumb board games that his brother carried with him wherever he went. All of those mornings where you would meet his wife and brother for coffee before long grueling, merger meetings between Izanami and Suvala. The dragging days that you only barely managed to push through because of the two of them making it less hellish. 

“I don’t know what to do, I-I-the Suvala board, they’re backing me into a corner, they’re gonna end up absorbing Izanami, I can’t figure out-”

“I’ll handle it.”

His grip on your bicep tightened even more, you parted your lips as if to say something but no words came out and even if they did come out, you weren’t even sure what you were trying to say. Rindou’s fists were tight at his side, he looked as if he were about to step forward and silently, you begged him not to. You had been so fucking careful in making sure Hanma and Kawaragi didn’t suspect any prior connections between you and Bonten. Don’t ruin it, don’t ruin it-

He didn’t have to. Just as you swore Rindou was about to step toward Krüger with a raised fist, the hand on your bicep was ripped off. Your gaze shifted to the side, eyes wide as they landed on the tattooed hand of Hanma Shuji gripping Krüger’s wrist so tight that you swore it was about to snap. 

“Watch yourself,” Kawaragi said sharply before nodding at you, lips pressed together. Hanma’s other hand reached out, pressing against your back to push you forward away from Krüger, deeper into the auction hall. You spared one last look back toward Rindou, catching the angry expression and watching as he tried to take half a step in the direction of where Hanma and Kawaragi were leading you off to but Kokonoi Hajime stepped in front of him, stopping him from following the three of you. 

“What was that all about?” Kawaragi asked, voice sharp, “who was that?”

“I need to get in contact with my uncle,” you said, grateful that your voice wasn’t as shaky as your hands, “immediately.”

“Ichirou is in a meeting until later,” Hanma said and your gaze shot toward him—you hadn’t known that. How high up is he in this organization? “Who was that?”

You stared at him, throat tight. How much did they already know about Munich? They were all clearly at least somewhat aware of it from what you could tell at the meeting the other day but you didn’t want to tell them more than necessary. You didn’t want to tell them anything but…

Your gaze drifted back to Krüger, barely catching sight of the head of blonde hair as he made friendly conversation with a dark-haired man that you didn’t recognize--you made sure to take a note of the face, eyes darting around to see if there were any cameras in the building and frowning when you couldn’t find one. You’d have to do your best to remember, or try to snap a photo--your skin crawled as the thought passed through your head. That’s not a good idea. 

“-if the tabloids get-”

“You don’t have to worry about that, that won’t happen.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I just am.”

A chill ran down your spine--you’d have to remember, burn his face into your memory and try to get a name for Takuya to look into. You had a feeling trying to record or take pictures in this place was a bad, bad idea. You needed to figure out what was going on--how Krüger was here, why he was here.

He’s here for you, you knew deep down. It’s the only reason he would be in Japan, at this event. 

‘Or well, maybe I did,’ you recalled his words anxiously--he knew you were going to be at the event, or even if he didn’t know you were going to be at that exact event, he was implying that he knew that he’d be able to find you at events like these.

And how the fuck would he know that unless he knew of your role in what happened at Munich? 

Your head hurt. You needed to calm down, settle before all of this actually started. You needed to be in control before the auction began. You had to get the weapons and you had-

Rindou and Ran. 

There were too many variables, you felt overwhelmed. Rindou, Ran, the weapons, Krüger. It was too much. Too fucking much, there was too much at stake, one slip up-

“Who was that?” Hanma repeated and you let out a long breath. You turned your head back toward him, eyes lingering on the two familiar purple heads of hair in the near distance before your eyes met his amber ones.

You could still smell the garlic-like odor, the blood, you could feel the heat on your skin, the heavy smoke and you could hear the screams of the civilians on the street around you as people rushed toward the building to try to help find survivors.

What were you supposed to do? You didn’t know. You hated not knowing--you could barely even think straight, he had thrown you off, there was too much at stake that was too important to you, Rindou and Ran, the weapons, Krüger. 

He was here for you. He wouldn’t have shown up if he didn’t have something planned.

What if you were in danger?

What if you being in danger put Rindou and Ran in danger?

You had to make a decision. 

It’s risky, you wanted to scream at yourself, too risky, you can’t-

What other choice do you have?

You swallowed thickly, eyes darting around to make sure that no one was close enough to overhear. You took in a deep breath, a heavy feeling settling over you.

Be careful what you tell them.

“What exactly do you know about what happened in Munich six years ago?” 

---

You could feel Ran’s eyes on you from the left and resentment rolled off of Rindou in suffocating waves from the right. 

They were trying to corner you.

You felt distinctly like a gazelle in tall grass, hunted by predators that you couldn’t quite see but you knew were there. Your heartbeat picked up when you caught movement from the corner of your eye--Ran stepping closer. 

You had to move, find another person to talk to before they could corner you. Your eyes fell upon a familiar face halfway across the room--a man you had met while traveling, a businessman from Switzerland, a major player in the pharmaceutical industry. You hadn’t realized he was involved in this, and by the surprised expression on his face as he caught sight of you, he hadn’t expected you to be either.

You let a wide smile split onto your face, raising your hand in a friendly wave as you started in his direction as soon as you noticed the brothers starting to close in on you. 

“You’re not gonna win,” you almost jumped at the sound of the new arrival, eyes darting to the side to fall upon Mina who approached you from behind, voice a low murmur. He followed you in the direction of Meier, distantly, you noticed the furious expression that crossed across Ran and Rindou’s faces once they realized you had managed to slip away for a third time, and then the way their expressions dipped into a more extreme rage when they recognized the man standing next to you. You knew they were well beyond frustrated, knowing that they couldn’t call out for you to stop the bullshit without giving everything away, but you couldn’t let them catch up to you and give them a chance to start questioning you. You couldn’t. “This little game of cat and mouse you’re playing with them, they’re gonna catch you eventually.”

“Shut up, where have you even been?” you muttered, shooting him a withering look, but he didn’t get a chance to respond before you rose your voice to call out to Meier, “Meier!” you greeted, “How’ve you been?” 

You slipped into another meaningless conversation, mind only barely there as you talked about the markets, and competition, and world politics, and pretty much everything except what the two of you were doing at this auction. Your lips moved on automatic and you were grateful for the years of practice that allowed you to hold simple conversation while your mind ran amok.

Service in the auction hall was terrible. Hanma was out trying to get in contact with Sugawara or your uncle--their knowledge on Munich had been minimal, which you were grateful for but you didn’t need to explain much for them to know that you might be in deep shit. 

“I can just kill him,” Hanma had said, looking back toward where Krüger was holding conversation with two other men.

“Don’t be dumb,” Kawaragi snapped, “We don’t know what insurances he’s put in place in the case of his death. For all we know he could have something set to leak if he’s killed.”

You weren’t so sure that was the case--your gaze drifted back to Krüger as you laughed at something Meier said, watching how he talked casually with a small group, forcing yourself not to stiffen when his eyes flickered up to you and his smile widened. You had a distinct feeling that if he had all of the information he needed, he’d have done something with it by now. 

He’s planning something else, you felt cold, you didn’t like it. You hated not knowing.

Kawaragi must have dipped out of sight when Mina showed up--you couldn’t spot her anymore, she had been standing nearby with a large, darker-skinned man with a platinum crew cut and a smaller man with long, striped hair. The smaller man was still lingering in the area but Kawaragi and the other man were gone. 

Something was wrong. You didn’t like it, your skin was crawling and your chest felt heavy. Meier broke off to go get another glass of wine, you glanced back at where Krüger had been standing with that small group, eyes widening when you noticed him slipping out of the auction hall.

“Follow him,” you told Mina sharply, yellow eyes narrowed on you, “Now, Mina, don’t let him leave your sight. I’ll be fine.”

Mina took in a deep breath, eyeing Rindou and Ran who were once again starting to close in on you before nodding, “Don’t leave their sight,” he muttered before making his way after Krüger. 

Wonderful, you thought to yourself, don’t leave their sight but don’t let them get close enough to corner you. 

Your gaze darted around, trying to figure out what direction to flee to next so they couldn’t catch you. Your expression dropped when you realized that the only way out was either down through a side hall or back across the vast room toward where Kokonoi Hajime was talking to the dark-haired, scarred man, where they’ve been there watching you outmaneuver Rindou and Ran for almost an hour now. As if they could smell your intent, Kokonoi and the other man looked up at you, sharing a look and then glancing at Rindou and Ran before pointedly walking in the opposite direction. 

Fuckers, you thought viciously, eyes darting back toward the nearby side hall. You could go down it but you didn’t know where it led to--it could easily be a dead end and then you’d be trapped. Did you have any other choice?

Your eyes met Ran’s.

Don’t you dare, he told you.

You glanced at Rindou, who was too close for comfort.

We’ll chase you, Rindou warned. 

You turned on your heel and walked toward the side hall, pace just a bit too fast to be considered normal and as soon as you turned the corner, out of sight from the other auction goers, you took off.

Your heels slammed against the tiles, and you could hear Rindou and Ran cursing as they chased after you. They were faster than you, they always had been--whenever you made them play tag or manhunt when you were kids, they’d never have any trouble catching you. You couldn’t count the number of times you found yourself tackled to the ground by Rindou, knees and hands cut up, leaves tangled in your hair because he had taken his job far too seriously, Ran laughing in the background as the two of you tumbled down a hill.

Your throat felt tight at the memory.

“Rindou! Get her before she runs into the forest!” 

“Rindou! Grab her before she turns down another hall!” Ran snapped and your eyes widened when you realized they were closer than you had thought, trying to push against the ground faster.

You let out a string of violent curses when you felt a hand wrap around your waist, desperately trying to break free of Rindou’s bruising grip to no avail. His other hand darted forward to grab the other side of your waist, securing you in his hold and a wave of helplessness washed over you.

“Let me go,” you spat, squirming in Rindou’s grasp, “Are you crazy? What if someone sees?”

What if someone sees? Hanma, Kawaragi, one of the two men she was with. 

“The fuck is wrong with you?” Ran demanded as Rindou’s grip tightened on your waist as you tried to squirm free, holding you close to him. Your breath was quick as panic began to take over. 

Fuck.

Your gaze shot up toward Ran, eyes meeting his hard lavender ones, his jaw was clenched tight and his throat bobbed as your gazes met. His eyes left yours to look behind you, double checking that nobody was around to spot the three of you before he stepped closer and you couldn’t breathe. They were too close--Rindou’s chest was pressed against your back and his arms were tucked tight around your waist, holding you still against him, and Ran was right in front of you, bringing his hand up to curl around your jaw to hold your head in place as you tried to look away. 

You hated the conflicted expression on his face, as if he knew that he didn’t have much time and couldn’t figure out what to say. 

“Why are you here?” his voice was low, barely over a rasp and you knew that he wasn’t asking why you were at the auction--you could see it in his eyes what he was really asking, why are you on the opposite side? Why aren’t you with them? What are you doing?

You couldn’t turn your head away but you directed your gaze toward the ground, trying to figure out what the fuck you were supposed to say to them.

“Hey, look at me,” he said sharply, squeezing your cheeks slightly to get your attention, and your eyes instinctively darted back up to meet his. “Why? Answer me.”

“Not here,” you shook your head as best as possible, “Ran, we can’t do this here, someone can walk down the hall any minute.”

“Then when?” you almost flinched at Rindou’s voice next to your ear, “When?” he asked again, voice harsher.

You didn’t know, and you could only stare ahead--you were sure Ran could read every emotion running through your head as he searched your eyes for answers. “What are you doing here?” the heat in his voice was gone, his hand dropped from your face but you didn’t use the newfound freedom to turn your head away, instead only watching him with a heavy feeling in your heart. 

“You know what I’m doing here,” your voice was little over a whisper, the words physically hurt to speak and from the way Ran’s lips tightened at them, from the way his jaw clenched, it hurt them to hear just as much as it hurt you to say. 

“Do we?” Rindou’s grip on your waist tightened where Ran had let go, “‘cause a lot of things aren’t really adding up right now, y/n. Why the fuck did you come meet us the other day if you’re…” he didn’t finish the sentence, instead you could feel him shake his head, “and why did you send that message? You warned us. And before, you pretended not to know us. What’s really going on?”

You didn’t know how to respond. You couldn’t do this here, it was too risky, what the fuck were they thinking?

“I didn’t know,” you said, giving them a half-answer, “I went to meet you guys the night I came back, I met with my uncle the morning after.”

Don’t press, you pleaded internally even though you knew the request was futile.

“The message? Before?” Rindou questioned.

Fuck.

“The message was just that, a message, it’s not on me if you took it as a warning. It’s not what it was meant to be,” you lied, “and before was for my sake. Not yours. I didn’t want Hanma and Kawaragi to know I knew any of you prior.”

“You’re lying,” Ran said and you let out an irritated breath.

Could they read you that well still or were they just throwing out hail mary guesses? You didn’t know.

Calm down, you’ve been thrown off guard all night, get in fucking control before you fuck up beyond fixing.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Control yourself.

Your hands curled around Rindou’s wrists, yanking them off of your hips. He let go of you and you dropped back to your feet, smoothing out your suit. You took a step back, steeling your face and looking at them both.

“I am not,” you said, watching as Ran’s brows furrowed as he studied you, taken aback by the sudden change in demeanor, Rindou’s lips twisted down. “Believe what you want. It’s not my job to convince you otherwise. I answered your questions, now get out of my way. I need to get back to the auction hall.”

Ran’s lips parted, an expression of disbelief masking his face, “What is your problem?” he asked, “Stop with the bullshit, tell us what’s going on, it’s just us right now, we have time. Explain, we-“

“Why are you with South?” Rindou snapped, interrupting Ran, “Why the fuck are you with him? You looked comfortable with him, like you’ve been around him for a while. How long has he been with you? You better not have been with him this whole time when you wouldn’t even answer our fucking calls.”

Your chest ached, you opened your mouth to speak but Ran was already talking again, reaching forward to grab your wrist, “The guy from before, who is he? You were scared—tell us what’s going on, we can help. Are they threatening you?”

They were tag-teaming you, barely giving you a chance to register what the other had said before they jumped on top to add on. You were getting overwhelmed. You had to put a stop to it.

“Threatening me?” you asked just as Rindou started to speak again, and you hated the way that Ran drew back at your words. Krüger, Krüger, you had almost forgotten about him in your panic. You couldn’t do this—you didn’t know what he knew, what he had planned. You couldn’t risk dragging them down with you and you didn’t want them to know about Munich. 

Push them away. If they’re close to you, they’re more at risk—from Sugawara, from Krüger, from you. You were a fucking danger to them. 

You were a danger to them.

Maybe you should tell them the truth, they’d be able to prepare better knowing the truth, but as soon as the thought crossed your mind you knew that it wasn’t an option. You worked tirelessly to make sure they didn’t get caught up in your shitshow—and maybe they had already been wrapped up in their own shitshow, yeah, but yours had just gotten exponentially worse in a very short amount of time.

Maybe if it was still just Sugawara’s group versus Bonten, you would be able to be more honest with them. But you knew, you knew, once they knew the truth they wouldn’t let you go. They’d keep pushing and pushing trying to protect you, just as they always had, except this time they’d push until they got themselves killed.

Killed.

You couldn’t risk it—not until you knew more about Krüger, who he was working with, what he wanted, what he had planned. He was an unknown variable right now, one that you couldn’t just ignore or take lightly.

You had taken everything from him and you knew he wouldn’t hesitate to do the same to you. You knew it.

You’d find them and tell them the truth once you knew more—tell them the truth and apologize and pray to god that they would forgive you even though you knew you didn’t deserve it.

“They’re not threatening me, Ran,” you said, and you hated how cold your voice was and you hated how Ran drew back, how Rindou tried to wipe away the hurt that spread across his face before you could see it. “They gave me a choice. I chose to help my uncle.”

“You chose-“ Ran couldn’t even finish the sentence, gaping at you, evidently too stunned to even be angry, “You chose to get involved with this? After you knew that we were on the oppos-“

“Yes,” you said and the look on Ran’s face, the fury in Rindou’s eyes made you sick to your stomach, “Don’t look at me like that,” please, “you asked for answers and I’m giving you them.”

“You’re fucking lying,” Rindou spit, taking a step closer to you, “you’re fuckin’ lying to us again. You’re always fucking lying.”

“Just because my answer isn’t the one you wanted to hear doesn’t mean that I’m lying.”

Ran’s expression dropped but your words only seemed to spur Rindou’s anger on even further. Rindou shook his head, taking another step closer to you, “You-“

“Ran, Rindou,” your eyes shot behind the brothers, focusing on the scarred man with dark hair who had walked down the side hall from the direction the three of you had come from, “We need to head in, the auction’s about to start.”

“Give us a minute,” Rindou said, turning his attention back onto you, “Y-”

“We need to go now,” the dark-haired man interrupted Rindou, “You know how Kokonoi and Sanzu get when they’re left alone with each other.”

“Then fucking go, Kakucho,” Rindou snapped, whipping back around, “Fuck, we’ll meet you in there, we-”

Ran grabbed Rindou’s arm, silencing him, “Let’s go,” he said and Rindou paused, looking back at him in surprise.

“Ran-“ he began but Ran didn’t give him the chance to finish what he was going to say, his lips were pulled down and his eyes were heavy, he wouldn’t look at you.

“I said, let’s go,” Ran’s voice was loud, sharp—both you and Rindou physically flinched at the tone, “We’re wasting our time.”

Wasting our time, his words rang through your head on repeat. He didn’t mean that--you knew he didn’t, you could see it in his eyes but-

You hurt him, you knew you did. Ran built high, nigh-impenetrable walls around his heart. It took a long time for him to let you in originally—he had been hesitant, untrusting, fearful because you knew now that he hated letting people in, Ran loved deeply, too deeply, and it scared him. It made him feel a loss of control and you knew that it made him anxious.

To hear you all but admit that you chose this… chose this knowing they were on the opposite side.

Breathe in, breathe out. You wanted this, didn’t you?

But it was different seeing it happen in front of you, witnessing their reactions. You had no right to be upset, you reminded yourself, this was your decision. You were doing what was best—once you knew more about Krüger…

He and Rindou shared a look--they were having a conversation without you and Kakucho, an argument. After a few moments, Rindou looked away. 

Whatever they were arguing about, Ran won. 

Ran turned and walked back the way they had come without another word, disappearing with Kakucho around the corner and Rindou lingered for a moment, eyes searching yours for any sort of sign that maybe you were being forced to say this, maybe you were still the girl they used to know all those years ago and it took all of your self-control for you to not crumble under his stare.

Finally he shook his head, looking at you one last time as he turned to follow Ran, “I know you’re lying,” he said, but you weren’t sure if he was telling you or trying to convince himself, “I know you’re fuckin’ lying, y/n. You can’t hide this shit from us. We’ll figure it out.”

And it hurt, it hurt watching them walk away even though you knew it was for the best, that you needed them to stay away from you until you understood what was going on so you could keep them safe. Getting them involved now with as little information as you had… it would be damning, you’d get them killed.

But it hurt, your chest ached as Rindou glanced back once as he turned the corner to go back to the auction hall and you wanted to call out to him--call his name, say sorry, break down and tell him that you’ve missed them, that you wished things were different but you couldn’t. And Rindou watched you, waiting for one final sign before he pressed his lips together and disappeared around the corner.

Better luck next time, you thought bitterly, hands shaking at your side, shoulders dropping now that you were finally alone, letting your guard fall and mask crumble.

And you knew they would be mad at you once you inevitably told them the truth, that they might not even forgive you because you had made them promise so many fucking times not to hide stuff from you and they held themselves to the promise and you couldn’t even give them the same courtesy back.

It’s different, you tried to convince yourself. It’s different, you made them promise that about petty delinquent stuff, this was different. Dangerous, could get you killed, them killed, your uncle killed. 

It’s different.

“There you are,” you froze, looking over your shoulder, eyes meeting Hanma Shuji’s familiar amber ones. “Been looking for you.”

You felt cold. How much had he overheard?

But Hanma made no sign of acknowledgment, instead pressing his hand to your back to get you moving forward back toward the auction hall, “C’mon, it’s about to start.”

Your heart was in your throat as he led you back into the main room, and your eyes darted around as soon as you stepped into the hall, trying and failing to catch sight of Rindou and Ran amongst the masses of people.

Hanma eyed you curiously as he led you down the aisles toward the back rows of the auction hall, his gaze was stifling and you wanted nothing more than to disappear into the floor. Had he seen? He couldn’t have, there was no way, but you knew you were only trying to convince yourself.

He motioned for you to take a seat and you frowned, glancing at him suspiciously as you moved into the row, letting him take the aisle seat.

“Where is Kawaragi?” you asked, looking pointedly at the empty seat next to you. 

“Sugawara asked her to check the storerooms,” he murmured, “She’ll probably be gone for a bit, from what I remember the storerooms are pretty deep down in the building and at the far end. I doubt she’ll be back any time soon.”

“What’s she checking those for?” a strange feeling swept over you--one that didn’t sit right.

Hanma shrugged, “Fuck if I know,” he slung an arm around your shoulder, you gave him a flat stare, he looked unperturbed. He leaned his head in close, lips brushing your ear, “So, that thing you were hiding at the meeting…” his voice was a low, mocking sing-song, dread pooled in your stomach, “the Haitanis, huh?” 

Your blood ran cold, your expression dropped, you eyed Hanma from the corner of your eye--you hated the smile that was curling at his lips. 

“Relax,” he chuckled, leaning the side of his head against the top of yours, “It’ll stay our little secret for now, yeah?”

For now, the words laid heavy on your chest and you stared forward, hyper-aware of the arm around your shoulders and the head laying on top of yours. You felt as if the weight on your shoulders tripled and the air around you became suffocating. 

Who the fuck was Hanma Shuji and what did he want?

You didn’t get the chance to say anything else as the auctioneer began speaking. You tuned it out, lost in your own thoughts. What the fuck did this mean? What did Hanma want from you?

You didn’t know, you hated not knowing. You hated it. You hated it. You hated it. 

You eyed him from the corner of your eye, he didn’t move away from you, much to your dismay, instead only staying leaned up against you as he watched the auctioneer begin the bidding for the first item.

“Can you… get off?” you muttered and he only hummed, as if he hadn’t heard you. You repeated yourself, more irritated, and he did the same thing. Your eye twitched when you realized he was being purposefully difficult.

What the fuck did he want? 

The question bounced around your head and you hated that you couldn’t answer it. Money? Power? Those were two of the most common motivations for men that you’ve come across but you had a feeling that Hanma Shuji was not like the other men you’ve encountered in the past. His eyes were too sharp, calculating, knowing; his smile was too playful. You felt as if you were playing a losing game that you didn’t know you had started playing whenever he walked in the room. His right hand rubbed circles on your arm, punishment glared back at you as you scowled down at the unwelcome touch.

You looked away, an unsettling feeling sweeping over you suddenly.

Your eyes drifted back around the auction hall, toward the opposite row of seats, looking over the heads of people, searching for Rindou and Ran again. Where are they? You couldn’t spot them or any of the other Bonten executives anywhere and it had your hair on end. 

What if-

“Three million yen,” you looked in the opposite direction, toward the left side of the auction hall and your eyes fell upon Kokonoi Hajime leaning back casually in his seat.

He was looking at you already, as if waiting to see, testing, testing to see if you would bid on anything other than the weapons and you nearly scowled, unwilling to waste your money more than necessary. You were already certain that you were going to liquidate all of your assets in the Philippines for this and maybe even in New Zealand too, you added mournfully.

You pointedly looked away from him, intent on finding Rindou or Ran instead but your eyes fell upon a different familiar face, one that made you double take once you realized who you were looking at--Krûger? What… Shouldn’t he be…

Where is Mina?

You straightened, unease rapidly shooting through you, gaze darting around as you tried to spot your friend to no avail. Hanma seemed to sense your sudden distress, frowning at you as he sat up.

“What are you-?”

In the distance, there was a sharp, loud boom--the auction hall quieted at once. You faltered, sharing a look with Hanma as you looked around briefly, trying to figure out what that had been--explosives? A grenade? 

Hanma’s brows furrowed, his lips tightened, one hand reached out to curl around your bicep as he looked around, trying to figure out what had happened. Your gaze darted around the room, catching sight of Krüger rising to his feet, a concerned look sweeping over his face. 

Your eyes didn’t linger on him for long, instead searching two familiar heads of purple hair in the crowd on the opposite side of the room. You caught sight of one--Rindou, you spotted, eyes meeting his alarmed lavender ones as his head swiveled around the room.

Where’s Ran? you wanted to ask but you knew the answer to his question from the thinly concealed panicked look in his eyes. Your throat felt swollen, you tried to stand up, go to look for him as a sick, dark feeling began to stir in your gut.

A familiar dark feeling. The same one you had felt six years ago before it all happened.

Hanma’s grip on your arm tightened, holding you in place. 

A louder explosion--much louder, shrieks sounded from around you and your blood ran cold as the entire building shook. 

Garlic, blood, smoke, no. There was no way, no-

Everything was happening too fast--too slow? It felt like everything was happening in slow motion but fast enough that you couldn’t react in time. 

Where’s Ran? you wanted to scream at Rindou, who was staring at you, lips parted in shock, eyes wide. Rindou, Rin, something bad was about to happen, you had to get to Rindou, you had to find Ran, you-

And then you were being thrown to the ground, a large body being thrown on top of yours just as the walls blew in and the floors blew upwards from behind the stage.

---

WORDCOUNT: 9.1K

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i hope y'all know i was giggling like a fiend when i pulled the same trick that i did in happiest year LMAO it's not one of cat's long fic's if she doesn't somehow incorporate a dubious amount of explosives