You Can Write A Story In Which Lucien Braids The Reader's Hair Or If You Want It Can Be The Other Way

You can write a story in which Lucien braids the reader's hair or if you want it can be the other way around. Thank you!😊

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Don't ask me, but in my mind, if Elriel is endgame automatically SJM needs to give Azriel a mate and then make her date Lucien, it's just fair

It is what it is

Lucien baby, I just live love laugh him, there's no further explanation

This is quick, this is cute, and I think is enough to warm my heart

What Makes You Beautiful

You and Lucien had been dating for quite some time now, you were one of the only people in Velaris (or in whole Prythian, if you were being honest) who was open to receive and storage mails that came from the Human Lands. With that, you were Lucien's only font of communication with his friends from the Band of Exiles. Months went by with your encounters with him. The quick interactions suddenly became full conversations about something until it became a date invite.

That's how everything went until this evening, when you sat together under the sun of the Day Court in one of the palace's balconies as you gently began to braid Lucien's long, fiery locks. He leaned back in your lap, his heart warm with affection, as he let himself feel your skilled hands weaving through his hair.

-I've always loved doing this on my own. My mom was from Day and she spent all her last days teaching me how to do every hairstyle - You said softly, your eyes finding his when he opened them to look at you - But doing it for you makes it even more special.

-I want to learn more about the things you love - Lucien smiled, his eyes sparkling with gratitude.

-Is it so important to you? - You asked with a laugh, focusing more on making his hair look pretty for today's party. He would soon be officially crowned Heir to Day Court and asked you to braid his hair in one of the many traditional hairstyles from his father's culture.

-It's important to me because you are important to me - His mechanical eye sparkled in the sunlight and you felt your cheeks blushing, gently slapping his shoulder to make him stop looking at you.

-Your father said that the Inner Circle will come - You said as you finished tying the last braid, before starting to style it.

-Hm, I know. So? - He asked with a sleepy voice, your hands in his hair making wonders to calm down his nerves.

-Elain will be here - He opened his good eye at you, raising his eyebrow.

-Azriel too - He teased and received another slap, stronger than the last one.

-Well, I never tried to courtship him - You finished the style and began decorating it with some pendants and hair pieces, leaving space for the crown he would have to put after.

-He's still your mate - He understood your insecurities, knowing that his bond with Elain made you uncertain about your future together. Especially when your relationship with Azriel was a complete failure and his own with Elain wasn't so bad anymore.

-I literally ran away from him when the bond snapped - He laughed at that, clearly remembering the day you simply ran from your own store - Bonus points that he didn't follow me.

-My heart may be bound to Elain by fate, but you, my dear, have captured it completely. You are the one who makes me feel alive and cherished, and I cannot imagine a life without you - He grabbed one of your hands and kissed your wrist, looking at you with the biggest heart eyes you ever saw.

-You are a flirt, Lucien. I hope you know that - He laughed when you snapped away your hand, giving his hair the final touches.

-I do, that's how you ended up with me - You rolled your eyes but didn't answer, recognizing his effort.

He kept rambling about the uniqueness of your love, something that surpassed any predetermined destiny or something like that, you wouldn't be the one to stop him from praising you. He vowed to be there for you, to cherish you, and to prove his devotion every day. Not that he didn't do that already, but it was still nice to reinforce.

-Done, now you can put on your clothes while I'll work on myself - He gently rose from your lap and looked at his reflection in the hand mirror you gave him.

-I'm glad you liked it - You tried to say between the quick kisses he gave you, making you laugh at his insistence.

-You are a talent, my love. What would I do without my High Lady? - He turned around and kissed you, his lips dancing around yours as tried your best to not touch his hair.

-Now turn around, I want to try it too - He kissed your neck a dozen times before running behind you, making you sit between his legs.

-Wait, what? - He shut you up, by undoing the quick braid you did in the morning, smoothing it down with his fingers.

-I want to try braiding your hair, too. It's not just a symbol of your love for me, but that's my way to say that I will stay with you, no matter what - He started brushing your hair gently, something he already did on a daily basis before you went to bed - It's something important to you, I think I should learn.

-I hope you know I love you very much - You turned around to face him, his expression softening as he looked at you with affection and hope.

-I love you too - He kissed your forehead before turning your head back at the outside of the window - Now guide me through this, what should I do?

Ladies and gentlemen.... this probably came straight out from one of my dreams... holy gods 🫣🫣

Come Again?

Ruhn Danaan x Reader

Summary: One-liner request from @writingsbychlo: “do you have any idea how to use that? do you even know what you’re holding?!”

Also for the anons who requested: "Omg please write more for Ruhn, our crescent city men are so underrated in this fandom! I love the crescent city modern world! I would love to see Ruhn using a toy on the reader maybe?? I don’t know if that’s in your comfort zone and if it isn’t I’m sorry but it’s been giving me brain rot 😭 I absolutely love your writing!" and "Ik you said you didn’t have anymore ideas for Ruhn, but…..Rhun with a vibrator that’s all I’m gonna say"

Warnings: Smut, vibrator

Word Count: 1,974

Notes: Fulfilling lots of requests with this one. 😉

_________________________________________

“Do you have any idea how to use that?” You tease, not at all embarrassed at the sight of your mate holding the toy you’d left out from last night.  “Do you even know what you’re holding?!”

Ruhn examines the pink bullet in his hands curiously. It’s almost a mocking manner, how he twists it left and right, like he’s trying dramatically to make sense of the toy to pull a smile from you. It’s not even as long as one of his fingers, he notes, mouth flattening sourly. It means to him that you don’t get off on how large he is, if something this small can make you cum just as well as he can. 

What’s stopping you from leaving him, if you’re satisfied with this? 

“You don’t need me anymore, I see,” he bares his teeth a little, jealous of the vibrator he’s holding in his hand. While it nowhere near compares to the cock that’s lengthening in his pants,  he pictures instead you using the toy on yourself. Ruhn wonders if the things the vibrator does draws the same noises you do for him. 

You roll your eyes in response, stretching your body long across your bed, reveling in the feeling of your mate’s eyes tracing the lines of your body. Ruhn tongues at his piercing in a way he knows drives you mad, but his gaze returns to the toy, narrow-eyed as if it might actually be the thing you’re replacing him with.

“Well,” you drawl, teasing a hand up your front. You want him to use it on you, set it to the fastest speed and press it against your clit while he impales you with his large cock. You shiver, tracing a nipple with a finger as you continue. “If you let me move in, I wouldn’t have to use that on nights I get lonely.”

Ruhn’s nostrils flare, pupils growing wide as you spread your legs for him, teasing him even more. Your pretty eyes flick to the vibrator in his hand and back to his, and you watch his face brighten, the curve of his lips into a mischievous smirk that spells out at least four orgasms as he fully understands what you’re needing from him and your little toy.

He flips the toy on and it reverberates loudly, sending shockwaves up his tattooed arms. He can understand why this would be pleasurable, especially if it has your legs falling open so easily, conditioned by the pink toy’s noises. Ruhn clutches the vibrator in hand, crawling up onto the bed between your legs. He looks like a predator, majestic muscles underneath his tight t-shirt rippling with every movement. 

“If I let you move in with me,” he murmurs against your skin, his words hot and breathy against your thighs as he removes your pants and underwear in one go. Your breath catches in your throat as he drags the pulsing toy across your hip bone and your fingers find his hair, tangling in inky locks to try and pull him closer to your cunt that’s pulsing with need. “I would never get anything done.”

“Yes,” you hiss as he nips at the soft skin of your navel, working higher and higher, dragging your shirt up with him as he goes. “Because smoking with Dec and Flynn takes up so much of your time.”

Ruhn chuckles, pressing his body flat against yours. You don’t know when he shed himself of his own shirt but you don’t care, reveling in the way that his chest vibrates against yours and his contained cock settles against your wet and needy cunt.

The texture of his jeans brushes your core and you arch into the bed with a depraved sort of noise. Gods, he’s mouthing across your neck, sucking harshly as punishment for your snarkiness. Oh, he’ll get you back for that one. The toy in his hand will make sure of that. It’s about to become his new best friend.

“We’re busy boys, Deer. Having you around will only distract them further,” he says against your mouth, stealing a kiss as he gently presses the vibrator to the pulse in your throat. They’re nearly beating the same rate and it makes you shudder and mewl, canting your hips for some of the glorious friction the roughness of his jeans cause. “And I don’t like to share.”

“Ruhn,” you gasp, fisting your fingers into the sheets. You can’t bear it, the feeling of him sucking marks into your neck, branding you with his lips. His piercing drags cold against your pert nipple as he makes his way downward, but he’s going much too slow, sliding the vibrator between your breasts in a hot line. 

Excitement stirs in your gut as you jerk faster against him. He’s trying to pin you to the bed with his hips but it only makes everything dig deliciously into you—

Your mate senses this, pulling away from you, ignoring your frustrated cry.

“Please,” you beg, eyes flying wide. You hadn’t realized that they’d fallen shut in utter bliss, working hard for the orgasm tingling between your legs. Your clit throbs at the sight of your shirtless mate kneeling above you. He looks like a God, staring down at you with dark eyes and a wicked grin.

“Are you talking to me, Deer,” he asks, holding up the buzzing pink toy, “Or this?”

You growl, exasperated. Surging, you press up on your hands, aiming to reach out and grab him by the loopholes of his pants. If he won’t give you what you want you’ll finish yourself, but the way he’s clutching onto your vibrator…is that what you look like when you’re using it as well? 

“Be nice, Ruhn,” you pout when he doesn’t budge. His blue eyes sparkle. Ruhn loves keeping you on edge. But using your toy against you is purely tortuous. 

He tuts, one hand moving to the button of his pants while the one holding your vibrator presses gently to your shoulder, a soft motion telling you he wants you to lie back.

“Okay, Deer. I’ll stop teasing.” You huff, glaring up at him. You’re trying to ignore the incessant buzzing by your ear but it’s calling to you, wanting you to shove Ruhn out of your room and use it because it would never tease you like that. “Do you want me?”

His tone turns utterly soft with his question. Insecure, almost. But your brows pull tightly together as you assess your mate and his unclear question. He could mean anything by that. Do you want me to go down on you? Yes. Do you want me to use the vibrator on you until your bed is soaked through with your pleasure? Yes. Do you want me to stuff you full of my cock until you milk me of my cum? Yes. 

Upon seeing your confusion, he clarifies. “Do you want me to stay?”

A part of you melts. Of course, you want him to stay. You want him to stay forever, tangled up in the sheet with you until the end of time, but it’s not possible. Your cunt still throbs for him, and right now, all you really want is to cum.

“Of course, I want you,” you reach out a gentle hand and he meets you halfway, intertwining your fingers. “I love you so much, Ruhn. More than I have ever loved anything,” you trail off, taking his other hand, the one that’s clutching the vibrator, urging him slowly to your awaiting cunt. Your voice shudders with pleasure as it touches your sensitive clit, and Ruhn swallows thickly. “But what I’d really love is to cum, by you. Now. Please.” You add, an afterthought, writhing on the bed for him.

Ruhn curses low, watching the way your body reacts to the toy in his hands. Your fingers slacken, then fall from his wrist completely, letting him take over. His eyes blaze when you whimper and cry out when he slides the vibrator through your folds. Fuck, you’re soaking wet, thighs glistening, his fingers drenched as he slips the toy into your cunt and his thumb brushes across your clit.

“I can do that,” he answers breathlessly. You moan his name sinfully in response, and it shoves him into action. His cock is achingly hard, trapped in the confines of his pants. It’s a struggle to get out of them, but he refuses to remove a hand from the toy shoved deeply into your snatch, all too caught up in your keening responses to the little thing. 

It’s awkward to try and kick out of his underwear while he still pleases you, but you don’t seem to mind the slight shifting and cursing going on because your eyes are rolled into the back of your head with pleasure, hands tweaking your nipples. “Ruhn,” you pant, “Get on me, please.”

He doesn’t hesitate and you moan lewdly as his hot body presses against yours again, drowning you with desperate kisses. You push against him just as fervently, hands eagerly roaming the plains of his muscles as he moves against you. The thickness of his cock slides against your soaking cunt and the vibrator that has your body shaking, but you want more. You want him.

As if he’s reading your mind, Ruhn removes the vibrator and presses into you in one fell swoop, forcing the air from your lungs as his long length meets your womb. He directs the vibrator up slightly, pounding into you as he holds it to your clit, swallowing down your loud cry. You press your breasts into his chest, and the scrape of your nipples against his pectorals is utterly delicious and your back bows for more.

It’s almost too much, the vibrator pressed to your clit as Ruhn works his cock into you with an eagerness you haven’t seen in a while. Neither of you had ever mentioned the possibility of using toys in bed and now you’re sure you’d be questioning yourself why if you weren’t on the edge of the most bone-shaking orgasm.

“Ruhn,” you cry, clawing at your mate. He grunts in response, jackknifing into you faster. The pulsing from your toy makes you shake, and he can feel the reverberations in his own cock. He’s drowning in pleasure, with how utterly soaking you are for him, the way you’re clinging to him and begging him to fuck you. The way your cunt clenches around his cock, coaxing his orgasm from him and your body drinking it greedily. There’s no way he would’ve lasted with you like this, but he wants to take you over and over again, all night with the way you scream his name, cresting over your own edge.

Your mate sees you through your orgasm, but the buzzing doesn’t let up, even when you begin to squirm and plead for him to stop. He’s buried deep into your core, loving every second of the way you convulse around him. Ruhn keeps his cum pressed in deep, and his teeth are sharp as they scrape against your collarbone, working his way up to your ear. You cling to him, rutting your hips like a goddamn whore, begging.

“Please,” your voice is weak, quivering, his broad shoulders lined with red marks as you cling to him.

“Shh, Deer, it’s alright. Just give me one more, baby. One more and I’ll turn the vibrator off,” he grins smugly down at you. Your hair is strewn about the pillows, forehead beading with sweat. Your eyes are shut tightly, mouth agape in a desperate gasp for air. What you don’t see is the glint in his gaze, the one that tells you he might be turning off the vibrator but it will in no way be your last orgasm of the night.

Hi are you going to do a part two of What I Was Made For?

Yesss!!! I will slowly come back to work, but honestly? College is tearing me apart, sooner than later I will be back 🫠🫠

New follower here! Can we pretty please get some of you ruhnlidia fic links? For some reason tumblr won't lemme search for 😅 Thanksiess

HI! Thanks for the follow babes! I do have some recs for you. I will state to be aware of tags/TW in author's notes. As this is Ruhnlidia we are talking about and Lidia has a "rough relationship" with Pollux some of these fics contain that. Keep that in mind. I haven't read much fic lately since I kinda feel guilty not writing my own stuff lol so idk if there's other stuff on Tumblr. All my the fics I've read have been on ao3.

You can't go wrong with any fic by Hlizr50. Every single one is amazing and majority of the fics on ao3 are written by them. (Ruhnlidia only has 3 pages sobs. We need to fix that tbh)

Recs under the keep reading

The Fuck You Games - I dont remember the author for this it's now an Orphan account. It's a modern au, enemies to lovers, tons of banter. It is THE Ruhnlidia fic for me. Complete.

The Outlaws of Valbara by HeadCanonHeadCase (another writer who you should check all their works). It's a Robin Hood au literally all you need to know lmao. and I, a big Robin Hood devoured this. Complete.

Always Fight (For Love) by Shadowisles - Kinda a college au. Basically a take on what if Ruhn just happened upon the crystal and talked to Day. It's pretty good! It is incomplete so keep that in mind.

Redemption lies plainly in truth by Laequiem - Smut. juuust Smut with a little bit of torture on the side. complete

Day and Night by RausieStone - if you looove Hurt and comfort this is the fic for you. However, it is incomplete.

Don't Hold Back by Impossiblepeachpaper - smut. filthy filthy smut. complete.

Between Dusk and Dawn by Kaxotie - more smut but when is that a bad thing lmao. complete

Out of Time by RufousMacska - Really good oneshot about Lidia torturing Ruhn.....or does she? Anyway it's a good one shot.

Happy reading Nonnie!

I'm currently writing three things at the same time, but I felt a need to write something sad, something to break my heart and break all of you along, I can't be sad alone, thank you

The plot is basically: every bat boy's mate deal with depression in a different way, or "three different approaches of depression to three different brothers" (I felt so funny when I thought about this one)

So... do we want a part 2?

Trigger Warning: Self-destructive thoughts, depression

Prompt: Prythian saw the way that Rhysand's mate fell into depression but tried her best to get better. They saw the way that Cassian's mate fell into depression and turned it into pure anger and self-destruction. But... what if Azriel's mate simply... doesn't care?

What Was I Made For?

Sometimes I wish I didn't exist.

Not in the sense that I want to die. Far from it. I dread the thought of my own death. If I stop and imagine what happens afterward, I feel on the verge of panicking. Not death. Never death.

However, I like to think about how everything would be so much easier if I simply didn't exist. The number of responsibilities I could just let go of. The countless times I wouldn't have to rush and cry out of despair for feeling so useless would simply diminish. I would be so happy if I didn't exist.

I started thinking about this when I was 14.

It's been 500 years, and I remain the same.

Five hundred whole years where I feel inclined to ask the Mother to not exist.

But I do exist.

And that's what intrigues me.

I don't know who I am, and I just can't find something I like. There's nothing that keeps me here. Really.

That scares me.

A lot.

I mean, I spent my whole life studying in the Day Court, participating in politics, and learning from the High Lord Helion himself. I was supposed to be his successor. But then Lucien came into the scene and I became his spare. Or second in command. Works the same.

My objective was easy enough, everything I knew, I should teach him. And I did. We had fun. I guess. And then his father made a party to invite his "friends" for a celebration. He told me they weren't really his friends. I understood that feeling.

The Inner Circle of the Night Court sat across from us at the table. It didn't take long for the mating bond to snap between me and the Shadowsinger. The celebration became even bigger when he smiled at me.

And I smiled back.

I mean, how couldn't I, right? He seemed gentle and caring and his face was very pleasant to look at.

He courted me. He flirted, sent gifts, and traveled to the Day Court's capital every often to see me. I'm not sure what love means but I'm pretty sure it's something close to what I felt inside of me every time he looked into my eyes and smiled.

And yet, I feel I could not exist and it wouldn't change a thing.

But if I could make him happy maybe I would understand everyone's desire to be alive. I would understand what it is like to fight for your own life with the necessity to live another day.

That's why I accepted the mating bond.

We had a party. A dinner. A house. Vacations. Damn, the tower of gifts we had to open after almost three weeks of pure sex took me a month.

And yet, I feel I could not exist and it wouldn't change a thing.

We moved to Velaris. My role in the Day Court was long forgotten. I mean, I just said I don't care about anything, how could I care about a job I had just because I was good at it?

Being good at something doesn't mean I really need to live for it.

If so, I would be a dancer. Because I'm amazing at it, I have trophies, experience, and talent. But I'm not a dancer.

If so, I would be an actress. Because I'm amazing at it, I participated in hundreds of pieces, and interpreted tons of characters. But I'm not an actress.

If so, I would be a cook. Because I'm amazing at it, I'm the one in charge of making every meal and every cake for people's birthdays. But I'm not a cook.

If so, I would be a warrior. But I'm not a warrior.

If so, I would be a painter. But I'm not a painter.

If so, I would be a singer. But I'm not a singer.

If so, I would be a seamstress. But I'm not a seamstress.

And when I came to Velaris, almost two years ago I became Azriel's mate. And I hate it.

We easily fell into a routine with his Inner Circle. And now, there's no family that makes me want to keep on living. In fact, most of the time I feel even more exhausted when I'm with my family. Or Azriel's family, if I'm being real.

I feel suffocated by an enthusiasm and freedom I can't keep up with. My family isn't bad, not by a long shot, and certainly not up close. They are great. They stand up for the right causes, love to have fun, and are very liberal about any topic.

Except when the topic is me.

I'm the newest but also the oldest among all the female mates. And that kind of put me on a pedestal I never asked for. Something like: "If she did it, you could too, Feyre"; or else: "Even she couldn't do it, Nestha, don't worry about it"; I'm not a unit of measurement, but sometimes it feels like I'm nothing more than that.

Except when I'm with Lucien. He is the exception to the rule of 'I feel suffocated within the family circle'. I'm his favorite friend, obviously, but that's not the reason why we are so good together. He understands me and seems to grasp the feeling of not wanting to exist, even though we've never talked about it. So, he just exists by my side. And that's exactly what I need.

I don't worry about depression.

Or should I?

I am happy. Truly happy.

Not that people with depression aren't happy.

They must be.

I hope they are.

But sometimes I imagine myself going to a healer's office and pouring out everything I feel. But I never know where to start. So, I stop imagining.

I'm usually happy. Very happy. And this happens with my friends. Or anywhere away from my family. Everyone annoys me in some way. Except for Lucien.

Even when I'm alone, I feel extremely happy. Especially when I'm alone. Whenever I'm alone.

I actually hate studying. Which is basically my job.

But if that means staying away from my family, I seriously consider doing volunteer work at the Library during vague hours. Get a full-time job. Anything to keep me away. And contrary to expectations, I don't feel bad about thinking this way. I don't care.

And that scares me even more.

I don't care, and I don't react. Sometimes, I fall into a vast abyss of overwhelming emptiness, unable to separate reality from what's happening in my mind. I don't feel inclined to react with jokes or anything else. I don't care if they argue with me, yell, speak ill of me in the room next door, or debate on how to 'punish' me when I'm three steps away on the sidewalk.

It doesn't matter.

Nothing matters.

I've made my friends cry trying to prove a point I believe is right. It doesn't matter.

I've cried in front of friends so they'd accept what I was saying. It doesn't matter.

I also have the terrible habit of always wanting to be right. In everything. It doesn't matter if I'm wrong, it doesn't matter if someone will get hurt. I ALWAYS have to be right.

Sometimes I imagine I'm going too far in this abyss to the point of hurting myself. Or others.

And here's another characteristic of mine. I imagine too much. Most likely, I have three or four books written somewhere in my room. But I don't feel inclined to publish them or continue writing. It was just a phase. Just like everything else.

Just like my mating bond with Azriel. I love him, but… I'm not like the High Lord's or the General's mates. They… live for them.

I mean, Feyre is an amazing person, she's such a sweetheart. But as High Lady? I swear, she's more like a city mayor than anything else, she can barely read a full sentence without getting a headache from too much effort.

And Nestha? What a fearless female. She's amazing! But being the General of the Valkyries? Come on. They can't possibly think that, just because they cut a miserable string, they are actually able to fight as a battalion. Right?

Maybe I'm mean for thinking like that. Maybe I'm stupid. Or hateful. Or fake. Or cruel.

So I never say anything.

I keep imagining them. Every day.

It's fun.

Sometimes I like Azriel more than I like myself.

But I like most people more than I like myself.

Sometimes I hate myself.

Sometimes I like myself.

There's a thin line between my two states of mind.

Sometimes I think it's my fault.

Sometimes I think it's my mate's fault.

I don't feel bad about hating him whenever I feel anger spread through me. He also triggers the emptiness in my chest sometimes. He can be annoying with all his senseless conversations. The way he lives his life annoys me even more. Because he can do everything.

He's Azriel, the Shadowsinger, the Spymaster, the poor thing, the one who didn't grow up in a good place, the cute one, the funny one, the pretty one, the hot one, the smart one, the-

I don't know.

If I let the anger get me it will soon vanish. Just like every other feeling I ever let myself have.

You know the feeling of losing something you never knew you actually cared about? That's how I feel about my freedom. Not that Azriel took my freedom meaning that he restrains what I do or like I miss my single life (if I'm being honest I was never a lover to no one, Azriel was my second or third). But this bond took it from me.

I used to float around, doing different things every single day, but now I just fall down and down and down into my inner abyss. I could've been a dancer, an actress, a cook, a warrior, a painter, a singer, or a seamstress because I had the freedom to try it. Maybe I don't want to live for it but I want to live with it. Now I'm… his mate.

I used to know I was empty, but I'm not sure now that this bond keeps flooding itself with love and fear and pain and happiness.

I don't know what I was made for.

I don't know how to feel secure. But I wanna try. I don't know how to feel truly happy. But someday I might… Someday I might… try.

When did it all end? All the enjoyment. All the feelings.

It doesn't matter.

None of this matters.

Since I was 14, nothing matters.

And I wouldn't mind just not existing.

But I want to know what I was made for.

That's why I'm leaving.

Hello for the ACOTAR bingo, could you do Nightmare with Rhys? I need some comforting fluff right now 😅😅

I wasn't sure who exactly was supposed to be nightmaring

So I chose the most obvious choice: Rhysie boo

It's honestly so sad that SJM robbed us from more scenes of Rhys' trauma healing, like? Girl, he was SAd for 50 YEARS the bare minimum is to give this man a proper therapy cmon

Anyway, there's not much description of his nightmare so I don't think a trigger warning is necessary, but let me know!!

Also, such good song this one, huh?

The Loneliest

You awaken in your room, feeling an unsettling aura in the air, the room seems smaller and the wind seems thicker, you almost can't breathe. A chill runs down your spine, and a wave of unease washes over you. Instinctively, you know something is wrong with Rhysand. His powers, usually well-contained, seem to be slipping through the cracks of your door, and a thick mist shrouds your surroundings, circling you as if they asked for help.

Without hesitation, you follow your heart and trust the feeling you have in your heart. You get up from bed and try to find your way through the deep shadows that filled the corridor. You make it through the foggy path, your determination pushing you forward, guided by an unspoken understanding between you and Rhysand's power. The mist parts as you walk, as if recognizing who you are and your genuine care and affection for him.

Reaching his room, you find Rhysand thrashing on the bed, and instantly you know he is caught up in the grip of the terrible memories of his abuse Under the Mountain with Amarantha. He's been suffering from the terrible nightmares since he came back from that hell, your paths always crossing when you suddenly wake up during the early hours and he was awake trying to find something to sleep in the kitchen. You would do some tea and he would tell you a bit of his dream. 

You never found him while he was still deep in sleep, and the sight before is nothing but terrifying. You know what your High Lord had suffered, and tried to be there for him, even if sometimes, the heart that learned to love him more than what you had planned throbbed inside of your chest in pain as he talked to you.

You gather your courage and gently shake him awake, calling his name softly until his violet eyes meet yours, filled with fear and pain.

-Rhys, it's me. You're safe now. I'm here - You whisper, trying to ground him in the present moment - You're not there anymore. You're with me.

As he slowly comes to, his powers continue to flicker around the room, but you remain steadfast, feeling the trust his power places in you. You sit by his side, soothingly running your fingers through his hair, feeling the silkiness between your fingertips. Your touch seems to calm him, and he clings to you as if you're his lifeline.

-It's okay, my love - You murmur, your voice filled with tenderness on the nickname you never had courage to use, but that seemed to soothe him even more - I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I said I won't let you face this alone.

Your words are a balm to his tortured soul, and he clings to you tighter, seeking solace in your embrace. He silently makes space for you in the bed, signaling for you to lay down with him. You get on his side and reach to touch his face, holding them with your life as you look deep into those eyes that you used to love so much, but that were filled with sadness and despair now.

-What happened? Do you want to talk? - He looks like he is about to cry, his throat wavering with emotion - You can cry, Rhys. I'll hold you every time you do it.

As if you spin a key in his brain, his eyes filled with tears and he started to blow them out. His chest was hurting from the amount of time he denied himself the right to cry for himself, to mourn the person he was and lost Under the Mountain. 

-What happened, Rhys? - His sobs slowed down to quiet breathing, but his face didn't leave your neck.

-I… I dreamed that it was you - It was all he said before the tears started to pour again. Your heart breaks a little bit more with each sob.

-What do you mean it was me? - You try to soothe him while playing with his hair, the dark onyx locks smelled so good that you couldn't help but take a deep breath, the scent being imprinted on your soul.

-Sometimes I dream that it's one of you instead of me in her claws, and she makes me watch as she tortures you - Your eyes close in pain, you can't even imagine how hard it was for him during all this time protect his family and wake up every day trying to imagine if she found out your secret - But tonight it was only you, and I… I couldn't watch it. I screamed and punched and tried everything I could, but she never stopped. I wanted to die looking at you like that. I was losing a part of me that would never be mine again as you died in her arms.

-I'm here, Rhys. You are here. We are together and I'll never leave your side again, do you hear me? - You pull his head out of your neck and hold him in place, caressing his cheeks as you kiss his forehead, forcing your tears to not leave your eyes - You are the most amazing person I ever met and you did everything you could to protect everyone in your Court, especially your family. And we are here, we are safe. You did it, Rhys. You saved us.

You continue to shower him with affection, kissing his forehead, his cheeks, and his neck, leaving a trail of adoration in your way. Your words flow freely, a confession of love that spills from your heart without hesitation, your necessity of making him feel better makes you not process the words that you were saying.

-You are the bravest person I know, Rhysand. Your strength, your resilience, it leaves me in awe. You have faced unimaginable things and still managed to find light in the world, to find strength for your Court and keep working with and for us everyday. Your kindness, your compassion, your fierce loyalty to those you love. It's what draws me to you, what makes me love you so deeply.

With every word, you see a hint of ease in his eyes, a reminder that he is not alone, that you are there for him, heart and soul. Time seems to blur as you continue to pour your heart out, naming every little thing about him that captivates you - the way his eyes light up when he smiles, the sound of his laughter that brings joy to your heart, the way he stands tall and proud, a protector of his people and his land.

-You are the most beautiful soul I've ever encountered, Rhysand. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world, and I promise to stand by your side, to cherish you and hold you close, no matter what challenges come our way from now on. 

As you speak, you notice the mist around you beginning to dissipate, a sign that Rhysand's powers are regaining control. The storm in his mind starts to settle, and he clings to you with newfound strength.

-I love you so much - He finally whispers, his voice raw with emotion. Your smile is sad, the meaning of his phrase is not the one you wish him to say, or at least that's what you tell yourself, not wanting to give yourself any kind of hope or have weird thoughts during such a delicate time.

-I love you too, with all that I am - You reply, pressing a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose - And I will never stop loving you.

The next morning, as the first rays of dawn gently filter through the window, you find yourself waking up in Rhysand's warm embrace. His arms are wrapped securely around you, as if he never wants to let go. You don't even remember the moment you drifted to sleep, and once you realize what happened you try to slip out of bed, but he stirs awake, his eyes finding yours with a soft smile.

-Where do you think you're going? - He playfully asks, his voice laced with affection - You're not getting away from me that easily. You said you were going to be with me every time, and I'll take advantage of it.

He tightens his hold, pulling you back into the cozy cocoon of blankets, and you find yourself giggling at his antics. You settle back into his embrace, relishing the feeling of being so close to him, even if just for a moment, just for one day until he feels better.

-I love waking up next to you - He confesses, brushing a gentle kiss against your forehead - I might want this everyday, do you think you can move your things to my room until sleep time or do we need to ask the House? - As if listening to the High Lord, three boxes filled with decorations that adorned your room appear on the floor, making you turn to Rhysand with a shocked face.

-Seriously? - You raise up an eyebrow and he just shrugged, a smile threatening to grow on his lips.

-I want you to know that I appreciate everything you've done for me. You are helping me heal from everything that happened Under the Mountain in a way I never thought possible, in ways you can't even imagine. With you, I feel safe and understood. You see me for who I truly am, and you accept all parts of me, even the broken ones. Maybe you can even fix me - His words warm your heart, and you can't help but feel overwhelmed and hopeful by the depth of his feelings. It's evident that your love and support mean the world to him.

-You don't need to be fixed, Rhys - You assure him gently - You are already whole, and I love every single part of you, scars and all - He smiles gratefully, his fingers gently tracing patterns on your back.

-I can't promise that I won't have difficult moments, but I promise to always share them with you - He says suddenly, making you frown a little - You've shown me what it means to truly love and be loved, and I want to share my life with you, every moment, every joy, and every sorrow.

-Are you saying…? - You lose track of thought as his eyes warm up with love to you.

-I meant what I said last night. I love you. And losing you, even if just in dreams, was one of the worst experiences I ever went through - He gets closer to you, his nose almost touching yours - It made me realize that all those years I spent warming up to you was a waste of time. Time I should've spent with you - Your heart swells with love for him, knowing the strength it takes to open up and be vulnerable. You cup his face in your hands, gazing into his eyes with unwavering affection.

-I will wait for you, Rhys. For as long as it takes. Your love is worth every moment of patience. I'll be here to support you, to lift you up when you need it, and to stand by your side for whatever happens. I also meant every word. You are part of my every being and you are already tied to my soul - He leans in, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss, conveying all the emotions he struggles to put into words. As he kisses you a feeling in your chest tightens up, the mating bond making itself recognized between you.

He separates himself from you only to check if you feel the same, the shock in your face is enough for him to laugh and hug you, before kissing you again and sharing his tears of happiness, the feeling shaking the bond that tied you together. 

In the days that follow, your bond with Rhysand grows deeper. You spend time together, from you helping him even more during his work time to cooking with him on nights where the Inner Circle didn't appear in your home, but also creating quiet moments of intimacy where you simply cherish each other's presence from sitting in the balcony to watch Velaris during sleepless nights to reading a book while he played with your hair - or the other way around.

Healing is a journey, and you walk alongside him, hand in hand. With each passing day, Rhysand opens up a little more, revealing his fears and hopes, and you listen with unwavering support. You both find comfort in knowing that you have each other to lean on.

As every night falls, you continue to share a bed, finding solace in the closeness and vulnerability it allows. Together, you create a safe haven where you can both be your true selves, no masks or pretenses needed. In those quiet moments before sleep, as you curl up in each other's arms, you feel the weight of his love, and you know you are exactly where you belong. You have found your home in each other, and the bond you share only grows stronger with time. And so, you wait for him with a heart full of love and patience, knowing that he is worth every moment of the journey.