Haha Im Fucked But Trying

haha im fucked but trying

Okay, basically this is me forcing myself to write in english because I'm really insecure of it but I kinda want to try joining a zine as a writer and i sorta have to have something written by the 16th? SO YEAH FUCK IT, here's what I got so far:

It's gonna be a 5 + 1 times type of fic about Shachi getting to learn how to feel affection and love and everything that comes with it because boy- the north blue doesn't know how to treat kids right… He has issues but he's going to deal with it! The order at the moment is: Penguin, Law, Bepo, Ikkaku, the Polar Tang (Merry spirit is still a sore spot so yeah, im gonna make my own little ship/submarine spirit and it's going to get as much love as I want) + Shachi himself!

I already started writing the first part, maybe I'll post it on ao3 when I'm done with it but who knows… Well, Tumblr, I'll let you have a first taste at it below:

(SORRY BY ALL MISTAKES IT PROBABLY HAS, I DON'T HAVE A BETA READER)

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The first time Shachi remembers feeling it, he doesn't know how old he is. Just that he's young enough that people doesn't respect him yet, but old enough to people not care about him anymore. And that's not necessarily okay and maybe he'll never stop asking what makes it be to everyone else, but that's how it was and the only how he knew. The how the north operates, cold to even it's own kind. 

And Shachi, true to his kind and everything that he suspects being a northern is about, react's bad to it. 

Maybe he's dying, like all the others young/not that young boys he knows, or just "going on a trip to the see the lights up close" like his aunt and uncle like to say. Shachi likes to remind them he knows what death is, that he knows someday it'll be him because of some excuse or another— it was too cold, he had said something someone didn't like. He says it, even though deep inside he hopes it's just like that, like seeing the northern lights up close, like the boreal is involving him and taking all the bad feelings away. He knows that his uncle and aunt think he doesn't deserve that good of an ending. He prays he doesn't deserve one so soon. 

And Shachi, young but not young enough, the kid that can't be a kid anymore, looks at the little boy smaller then him and feels things. 

It's hard to tell his age, hard to tell everyone's age when they're all smaller than they should be and that's part of the reason Shachi doesn't know his age, because everyone else is not so sure about it so why should he? Still, the boy is small and Shachi was always the smallest so it's a good thing, a sign that the circles continue and there's always one more of them, kids that are not kids. There's something strange in his walk, like it's hurting him to do so. Shachi knows what that's like, what it means. 

He's hungry, he's tired, he wants someone to hear him even though he knows no one will. Just his luck as Shachi has been called "no one" by his family one too many times.

Greenhouse Botanica

If Dutch Van Der Linde has 0 haters, I'm deceased

:D

:D

we are the stars of the world

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