I Will NOT Go On My Phone *reads Harder*

I will NOT go on my phone *reads harder*

‘Again your relationship your life if you want to go down a slippery slope with shoes covered in butter you can, you know what I mean?’ Is the best, most neutral response I have ever given to unsolicited relationship problems, like, he cheated on you but you won’t leave him bc you love him?? Bitch well isn’t that some snakes in a barrel of banana peels, what do you want me to say???

I love people who get so bored they do something. Like, ‘okay I’ve scrolled through tik tok and went on Instagram and ate something now what?? I think I’m going to go on a random language generator and learn any language it says’. Okay bitch??? Or even, ‘I’m really bored, I’m going to type a word I like into Spotify and let the search engine come up with a random song and I’ll do that over and over again until I get tired of that word and do another one, ‘Star and strawberry’ seem like a good place to start’ or ‘I’m going to decide on a vibe and try to use the clothes in my closet to achieve it, I’ll go with ‘Travelling unknown alien territory that’s flush with vegetation’ today’ or ‘I’m going to moisturize every part of my body and try to braid my hair off a YouTube tutorial and write a letter to a random man in my head, his name is Mister Able and his wife Miss Angus’ or ‘I’m going to arrange my bed into something perfectly comfortable I don’t usually have time to do when I’m making my bed in the mornings and take a nap’ Amazing, I am starstruck please keep being yourself forever thanks

Love me some bitches who say ‘I’m bored’ and scroll on google scholar

No no no no wait wait I DO remember my first fictional-character crush it was BRAHMS the guy that snuck food from the kitchen like a rat and made most of the house a fire hazard like a rat and lived in the walls like a rat

If you ever want to understand the feeling of losing one of your senses, do origami for a month and try to do it again with gloves on. It’s like I CANT SEE