I'm Getting My Taglist In Order So Comment Under This Post...

I'm getting my taglist in order so comment under this post...

1 for everything

2 for just Stray Kids

3 for just Ateez

It's my first time actually having a taglist cause I haven't had this much attention on my writing so I'm still new to it.

Plus I have adhd and sometimes forget that I need to write things down in order to remember it 😊

I've had this idea for three months and it took so long to put into words because I was trying to come up with...not lyrics so to speak but what I think it feels like in a position like this.

Zombie Au? There's an infection and it's spreading but it's not necessarily zombies. Felix is your little brother.

Blogs: @belladonna6-6-6 @heartbinn @leezanetheofficial I genuinely forgot who else wanted tagged, please let me know again if you want to know when I post

Tags: Death, angst, you might cry (I genuinely cried), I'm so sorry if you cry 🥺, blood, kn1fe, Felix being the precious soul he is even in a dire situation, lots of crying, th-the use of st-stuttering since i've once read that the stuttering is annoying so I'm just warning. LMK if I forgot anything.

You ran and ran, hand tight around your brothers as you keep looking back to make sure he's still keeping up with you and also look out behind the both of you.

You shouldn't be outside at night but your original camp was surrounded by the creatures, slimy, gross, deformed creatures which use to be human beings. It was dusk, barely enough light to see where you're going.

The slow ones were called draggers, the fast ones were called runners, three runners were currently chasing you and your brother. You look back in front of you to find a couple draggers and skid to a stop, running to your left but you went to fast and Felix tripped, loosing the grip on your hand and falling to the ground with a grunt before shuffling back to his feet and catching up to you, taking your hand again.

His fumble unintentionally let the runners catch up to you both as you pant heavily. You still don't know where you're running, the road you're on unfamiliar as you run past buildings after buildings.

You suddenly hear a high pitched whistle and look ahead to your left, a person waving you over to an abandoned convenience store, they wear some sort of head cover that they seem to wear to blend in with the monsters but you saw their eyes and the fact that they were waving you over. You're quick to run over to them but suddenly your hand is empty again.

Turning around, you weren't expecting to see a dragger on your brothers foot. "Felix!" You dash over to him, kicking the dragger in the head before picking your brother up and running into the store.

You set Felix down, cradling his face and looking over him to make sure he's okay. "You guys okay?" The person- or the man- took his head over off and you see someone around you and Felix's age. "Yeah...Yeah, I think we're good. Thank you." "No problem. I'm Chris." "I'm Mn, this is my little brother, Felix." "It's nice to see a few new faces. Come on, there's a few more of us in the staff room."

The other survivors you met were really nice, they were friends of Chris'. Minho, Changbin, and Seungmin. They all lost someone to the infection.

Minho lost his lover, Jisung.

Changbin lost his best friend, Hyunjin.

Seungmin lost his little brother, Jeongin.

and Chris lost his wife and daughter.

You and Felix lost your whole family, you only had each other.

You both were currently on the floor in front of a fire Chris made, everyone else either somewhere in the store. Felix was curled up in your arms between your legs, one leg extended and the other you had your knee up the Felix leaned back on, your body was like his own little bubble, his comfort as your arms were secured around him and you just stared at the dancing flames in front of you.

He shifts, burying his face further into your neck as he slept but slowly he began whimpering and shifting, squirming in your hold as he tried to bury further into your neck. "Felix, bubs, wake up." You rub his arm gently, trying to wake him up and you know he's awake when he moves to face you, you move your legs to hold him properly in your lap as he cries on your shoulder. "Felix..." "I'm so scared, Mn..." "I know...I-I am too." "N-No, I-I'm scared of being in here..." "Wha- Lix, What do you mean?"

He sniffs, moving off your lap to rest his leg on your lap and pull up his pant leg. "No-" The tears hit you fast as you sob and gently graze your finger over the wound. "Th-The Dragger g-got me...I-I'm s-sorry, Mn. I-I'm so s-scared." He's started sobbing now and you just bring him into your arms, holding him tight. "I-I'm sorry..." You shush him, gently rubbing his back. "I-It'll be o-okay, Lixie." You bury your face in his shoulder and hold him tightly. "I-It'll be okay..." If you were reassuring him or yourself, you couldn't say.

Although, someone over heard you, and they were happy that an infected was now in their safe space.

In the stillness of the night, I hold you tight.

As time slips away, fading out of sight.

Every beat of your heart, a whispered plea.

Begging for salvation that I cannot decree.

There was one night, or day, you don't even know the date anymore, that you all gathered near the fire ring, conversing about anything and everything. Chris was telling stories of his family and Changbin told stories about him and Hyunjin, it hurt to learn that Changbin loved Hyunjin but never got the chance to tell him until Hyunjin got infected.

You and Felix were sitting on one of the break room tables, you could tell he's getting weaker, he was getting more tired and he didn't have as much energy anymore.

"I'm sorry...I have to say something before we're all dead." Minho suddenly spoke up and stood up, pulling a knife from the counter. "Woah, hey, Minho! What are you doing?!" "There's a runner or dragger here and I need to take care of it before we're all dead."

Your protective instincts gave it away as you stood and stepped in front of Felix. "Mn?" Seungmin questions your sudden shift before standing up, watching you protect the boy. "Minho, please..." "You really expect that'd change my mind?! Come on, wouldn't any of you want to kill the infected before it took your loved ones?" "Minho, this is my brother, my baby brother, he's all I have left, Please." "You'll end up loosing him." "But I still have him! I still have him now! I don't- I don't want to loose him yet, I-I just can't." You cry, turning towards Felix and cradling his face, gently shushing him as he sobbed, holding onto your wrists as he placed his forehead on yours.

He's muttering that he's scared, that he doesn't want to go, that he doesn't want to leave you and it hurts you even more, leaning back to kiss his forehead before returning to your previous spot.

Suddenly there's hands on your biceps, pulling you away from the boy and you sobbed, begging that this doesn't happen, trying to pull out of Chris' hold but he's stronger than you in the moment. "No, No P-Please! Please, just a little longer please!" Chris pulls you to the back wall of the break room, you try to pull your arms out and run to your brother but suddenly Changbin and Seungmin are holding you in place by your shoulders, keeping you from escaping Chris' hold. You struggle against them as Felix limps backwards away from Minho before falling to the floor.

"I-I'm sorry, Felix..." Minho stutters before driving the blade into his stomach. "No!!" You choke, watching Minho do it a couple more times before dropping the blade and stepping back. "Felix!"

They finally let you go and you dash over to your brother, kneeling next to him and bringing him into your hold, placing a hand on his heart and sobbing heavily. Every other beat is strong but the in between beats are slow and barely there.

"Felix, No..." He sobs, tilting his head into you and you lean further down to connect your foreheads. "I'm scared, Mn..." "I know...I know, bubs, I'm so sorry..."

Your breath grows faint, a fragile sigh,

Yet in your eyes, a fire refuses to die.

I'd trade my every breath to keep you here,

But destiny's grip, I cannot interfere.

His chest begins to rise and sink slowly, but when you lean back to look at his eyes, they almost look alive still, wide and looking up at you the usual way he looked at you, like you were the most amazing guy in the world. He always looked up to you, he loved you as his big brother.

"I-I wish I c-could take your place...give you all that I have. I w-wish you didn't have to go th-through this, Lixie...I-I'm such a terrible brother, I-I'm so sorry." You place a slightly bloody hand on his cheek and wipe his tears away. "Y-You're wrong-" "Ssh, save your breath." He chuckles weakly. "Ironic." His eyes glance down to his stomach where his shaking, bloody hands rest.

Through every gasp, I whisper tales of our past,

Each memory a lifeline, meant to last.

Though time may steal your earthly form away,

Our love's immortal flame will forever stay.

"You'll be with Mama...a-and L-Livy...a-and Rach..." "B-But th-they w-were turned..." "No, that's- That's not them...they're somewhere b-better..."

You move a few strands of hair out of his face and reach down to hold his hand. You don't care about the blood anymore.

"I-I don't w-want you to g-go, Bubs...Y-You belong h-here." "I-It w-would've h-happened...s-sooner or l-later." He inhales shakily, squeezing your hand. "I'm n-not r-really l-leaving." "What do you mean?" He raised a hand slowly and pointed at your chest. "I-I'll b-be here...y-you'll always l-love me, Nn. I-I'll a-always be here..."

I'm here by your side, my love, don't fear,

In the darkness, I'll be your light, my dear.

Though I cannot save you from fate's cruel art,

I'll stay with you, till the last, never apart.

"I-I don't want to leave you now...D-Dying is s-scary, I-I'm s-so s-scared." "It's gonna be okay...I'm gonna be here with you, it's okay. It's okay..."

You stayed the whole time, rubbing your thumb back and forth on the back of his hand and occasionally kissing his forehead. "I-I wish I could've s-saved you. I-I wish th-this didn't have to happen, I-I'm so sorry, Felix..."

You were gonna stay until his last breath.

As your eyes meet mine, in the final gaze,

I'll be the guardian of our love's eternal blaze.

Though you depart from this world's embrace,

You'll find me waiting in love's timeless space.

You had your eyes closed the whole time, you couldn't handle seeing him the way he was but you finally open them, Felix should see you before he goes.

"I-It'll b-be okay, Nn." He raised a hand to the side of your face and you held it tight. "Stop fighting it, Lix. I-I know you are, it's okay. I'm here, y-you're safe. S-Say h-hi to th-the girls and Mum if you see th-them...a-and l-let me know y-your with me every- every once in a while, mkay?" "I-I will a-and t-take m-my locket..." "Lixie..." You choke out as your eyes remain locked and you watch the light fade, his eyes filled with tears and his hand goes limp. "Lix..." You sob with a whine as the others finally kneel by you.

"I'm really sorry, Mn..." You were silent, sobbing over your brother. "Mn, we should move him." You sniff, moving a shaky hand to his neck and Minho gently helped you unclasp the locket, you clutch it in your fist before you leave a final kiss to his forehead and close his eyes. "Okay." You say softly, barely above a whisper.

You pick him up and turn to the other guys. "I-I can't...I-I don't have the strength to just l-leave him somewhere." "I'll take him for you..." Minho offers with his lips pressed together in a soft, apologetic smile. "I-I happen to know a nice area nearby so he won't just be out in the open." "Thank you..." His eyes widen at your words, he just killed your brother, why are you thanking him?

"Wh-When it got worse, I-I don't think I-I'd h-have the strength to actually l-let him go..." He hums in reply and steps up to you, letting you place Felix in his arms before he walks away. "Wait!" Minho turns around and you walk over to him, taking Felix's bracelets, putting them on, and any other items he had on him. You also snatch the pocket knife you saw from a nearby table and cut a part of his hoodie off, the only light blue part of his sleeve that wasn't covered in blood, and put it in your pocket, saving it to make something later. "Thanks." Minho nods before walking away again.

It's lucky the convenience store still has running water as you move to wash off the blood. "Hey, found the clothing section for you." Chris announces, placing a hoodie and jeans on the counter next to you. "In a convenience store?" "Well, from the thrift store next door." "Light Blue?" "Had a feeling...if that's okay?" Tears gather on your lash line before you nod and extend an arm. With Chris' small nod and a gentle smile, he lets you hug him tightly.

"I'm surprised you're not mad at us." Seungmin commented and Changbin slapped his arm. "I-I'm actually grateful...Yeah, you let my brother...b-but it was a necessary thing to do...I-I wouldn't have had the strength to do it my-myself when i-it got worse."

"I'm back." You leave Chris' embrace and turn to Minho. "Thank you...again." "It's no problem...Sorry I got a bit angry before." "It was understandable. Now if you don't mind, the state of my clothes is making me want to cry again so I'm gonna change."

"We'll be out here." Chris said as you walked to the bathroom with the clothes he got you.

When the door closed, Chris turned to the others. "Him thanking us for killing his brother is weird right?" "A little but it makes sense. Were you watching back there? He held his to his final breath. I could tell he wouldn't have been able to let him go if the infection got worse."

"How'd you know?" "Saw them a couple nights ago, Felix showed him the bite on his ankle from the dragger that attacked him before they came in here. I could see him changing and didn't want Mn to keep him to the point of turning into one of those and attacking us." "Did it hurt?" Changbin asked.

"So much. He looked as precious and kind, I really didn't but I was protecting us." You then walk out of the bathroom, throwing your old clothes into a nearby empty box. "Can I hug you, Minho?" "Uh, yeah, sure." He asks hesitantly and you walk over to him, wrapping your arms around his back and shoulders as he did the same to you.

"Thank you-" "Stop thanking me for killing your brother, it's kinda weird." You laugh, pulling away and joining the others on the floor. "Was gonna say thank you for protecting us...although I was against it...what you did makes sense...as much as I want to hate you for killing him you did it to protect us so...guess that skims off some of the hate." "Some?" He looks at you bewildered and the rest of you laugh.

"You killed my brother, you expect there to not be at least a little hate?" "Yeah, but you said some which means there's more hate then gratitude." While you and Minho went back and forth, the other three watch small smiles.

Even in a world of chaos, there's still time to find joy.

😭 I'm sorry if this made you cry and also I wrote this in like three hours it was like 1:20am when I started and now it's 3:41am so I'ma go to bed.

The angst is angsting 😩

His locket had a picture of your family on one side, and him and you together on the other.

Some fluff for ya-

Snowed in day with seonghwa and hongjoong. Reader has long hair like seonghwa and the three of them are doing a braid train. Seonghwa is on the floor playing games while reader is sitting on the couch on hongjoongs lap braiding seonghwa hair and hongjoong is braiding readers hair and it’s just fluffy and cute and Yas :3

(I’ve been needing some fluff too so I gotchu bestie)

heheh I'm writing this with a headache and agitated nose. I totally passed out after this. (This has been sitting in my drafts days after I was dying of allergies but I'm better now :)..)

Thanks for the fluff 😘 Can be read as platonic or romantic. Either works ☺️

Blogs: Um...I have a Stray Kids taglist but not an Ateez taglist and I've also forgotten who was on my All Posts taglist so um leave a comment if you don't mind so that I can get my taglists and what not figured out 😅

This hair style is what I described Hongjoong doing. I was picturing Mn with white hair with blue tips

"Thanks again, eomma." "It's no problem, really. That cabin has been handed to your father for ages and it had yet to be used." "I just feel bad." "Mn, don't fret, okay? You were told everything was okay. Think of it as an extended vacation." "But they had plans with their families and-"

You were cut off when Wooyoung jumped on your back, wrapping his limbs around you, his laugh right next to your ear as San stole your phone. "Hey! What-" "You need to stop worrying, Mn." You sigh as your hands move under Wooyoung's knees to hoist him further up your back before he slipped. You opened your mouth to complain about them missing their plans with their families but Seonghwa just covered your mouth. "I don't want to hear it...again." You glare at him as he just smiles.

"We've told you like a million times that everything is fine, everything was sorted out and our families understand. Okay?" You nod and he removed his hand and a second later, a grimace forms on your face. "Are you absolutely-" "Mn!" Wooyoung covered your mouth this time from on your back. "Shush, okay?" You sigh, walking out of the entry foyer and into the living room to find the other boys sitting around the fireplace and tv.

Standing in front of the couch, you lean back, falling onto the couch on top of Wooyoung who yelps in protest but you ignore him with a smile and reach out to San who's smiling at you with a teasing grin. "Choi, I swear, stop pestering my mom." "I'm not doing anything!" "Uh huh, yeah, sure, your smile is completely innocent. Give me my phone."

He hands you the phone and your mother's voice reaches your ear. "Mn, that wasn't nice. I was telling him a story from your childhood." "Eommaaa!" "Relax, she was just telling me about your elementary girlfriends." "Ugh, okay, bye mom." "Bye, Mn."

"You suck." "Hey, that's not nice." "How many did you have?" Yeosang asked from the floor, tilting his head back to look at you. "Are they really girlfriends? It was puppy love and it doesn't matter." "His mom said six." "Choi San!" If it wasn't for Wooyoung holding you back, you would've been chasing the male outside and locking him out in the snow.

Well, and the fact that you can't lock a fellow member and idol out in a snow storm. Guess that's an option too. (😒😂)

"Okay, Okay, let's not push him to the point of locking you outside. Mn, didn't you find Monopoly earlier?" "How much you wanna bet Wooyoung gets put in jail?" You remark and go to stand up to get the game and blankets and snacks when Wooyoung pulled you back. "Hey, I'm not that bad." "Woo, be serious." "I am!" You laugh, pulling his limbs off of you before going to collect the stuff.

When you return and plop the game on the table, the boys who are wanting to play surround the table and set it up. You notice Hongjoong on the couch, you sit next to him. "Not playing?" "Nah, Watching them play is better than playing." "Okay, well then I'm gonna sit here and watch with you."

Hongjoong laughs when you get up and sit on his lap, leaning back as he wraps his arms around you. "Was that your plan the whole time?" "No but it worked." He tightened his hold, hugging you tightly as you pulled a blanket over you two.

You watch them play the silly game for a while and at some point Seonghwa switched spots with San, saying the spot he was in was bad luck as he kept losing money, making you pout when San agreed cause you were enjoying him leaning against your legs and playing with his hair. "Don't pout, Mnie. The benefit of me being here is I get money and you can actually braid my hair." "Ooh!"

That made you happier as you pat Hongjoong's knee so that you can still sit in front of him but his crossed legs wouldn't possibly fall asleep as you lean forward and brush your hand through his hair. You decided to do french braids, you were half way through the first one when you felt a hand brushing through your own hair.

You turned around but he turned your head back with a light shove at your temple. "Hey, I'm doing your hair." "Oh dear." "Hey, it'll look good." "It better."

You finished Seonghwa's hair, smiling while giving him a head pat as you wait for your hyung to finish your hair. "Joon, are you done yet?" "Almost."

You could feel that he was doing french braids from the top of your part, braiding in a half semi circle before coming to the back of your head. You had a random ponytail holder on your wrist for Seonghwa's hair but Hongjoong now realizes he's stuck. "I didn't think this through..." "What? Oh! Hey, Sangie, in the bathroom under the sink, can you get the bag of rubber bands?" "Yeah." Yeosang left and came back just as quick. "Thank you, Sangie!"

You pass it back to Hongjoong and he ties it up, the braids, then gathers the rest of your hair and ties it to the tail of the braid, fluffing it up and making sure it looked just right.

Hongjoong took out his phone and took a picture to show you and you gasp. "Hyung, this looks so pretty! Thank you!" You turn around wrapping your arms around his neck to give him a hug. "You're welcome, Mnie."

You give his phone back and move to sit sideways, curling up in Hongjoong's lap and pulling the blanket over you. "Am I your bed now?" "Mmm, yes, you're comfy." You wrap your arm around his middle and lay your head on his shoulder, getting comfy. He wraps his arms around you, one around your back and the other thrown over your thighs, holding your legs on his lap.

You had began to doze off when Wooyoung exclaimed in annoyance. "These dice are unfair! How can I roll enough to get in jail twice in one game?!" He fusses and you giggle sleepily before huffing and sitting up. "What?" "Lay down, Hyung." He laughs at you before doing as you said, letting you lay on top of him so now you can see Wooyoung's agony better.

His arms wrap around your back and shoulders, drawing random shapes on your back and lulling you back into a sleepy state. "Hyung, I'm still sorry..." "What for?" "I can't say it, you'll get mad at me." "Is this about being snowed in which is completely out of your control and you feel bad we can't go home?" "...Maybe." "Well, we all said that it's fine. Our families understand and this just means we can all be together for longer. Just relaxing and having fun." "Okay."

As you lay there, barely able to keep your eyes open, Hongjoong noticed your struggle and smiled softly. He lifted a hand from under the blanket and began to gently rub your neck with his thumb, moving it slowly under your ear and the other one moved up and down your back, soothing you. You whispered, "I know what you're doing," as you brought your hand up to rest on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart. He replied, "Then don't fight it. Just sleep." You hum as a reply, feeling the warmth and comfort of his touch and voice lulling you into a peaceful slumber.

You allow your eyelids to droop and snuggle closer to your hyung, surrendering to his tender caresses as the sounds of the board game gradually fade away. Seonghwa's knuckles glide over your cheek gently, eliciting a soft sigh from your lips. "Aw, sleepy Mnie~" he coos, followed by a gentle pat on your head. You feel yourself melting further into Hongjoong’s embrace, savoring the warmth and comfort he provides. "So cute~" Seonghwa whispers before turning his attention back to the group, who have collectively decided to abandon the game and settle down to watch TV.

As you gradually slip into a state of serene slumber, enveloped by the soothing embrace of Hongjoong and the reassuring presence of your friends, you are struck by how truly magnificent life can be in moments like these. A sense of utter contentment spreads across your face, as you allow yourself to be swept away by the tranquility of the night, secure in the knowledge that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

I feel like i've over-scrolled the search of "Stray Kids x male reader" cause I feel like i've read the entire tag. Like I don't even want to scroll the tag anymore because it's all fics that i've read and liked.

Wish tumblr had an easier way to look at posts you haven't seen before.

For now I shall continue to doom scroll the tag and hope I can find more.

(Send fics, I'm just a being hungry for subby skz and male reader)

Literally me at 1am when I finally finished the poetry-esq lines for the Felix Angst I just posted.