Postpartum

Postpartum

Amelia Shepherd x fem!reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI (NSFW), sex, oral sex, hella eating out, fingering, etc., mentions of anatomy/body parts, some explicit language, post-pregnancy times (please let me know if I've left anything out!) Word Count: 2.0k

Summary: You're six weeks postpartum, and your doctor has cleared you for sex, but you're worried that it might not be the same anymore. Amelia assuages all of your worries. 😉

Request Info: This was requested by an anonymous user, but the request itself accidentally got deleted! The user also requested that the reader be an ortho surgeon and a third twisted sister. Whoever you are, I hope you find this, and I'm so sorry to have lost your original request!

“You’re good to go,” your OBGYN declared, finishing up your 6-weeks postpartum checkup.

You raised your eyebrows at her. “As in, good to go?”

She laughed. “Good to go, as in cleared to resume any and all sexual activity as you feel ready for it.”

You nodded and repeated it to yourself. “Good to go…”

But as you left Grey-Sloan, making a quick stop at the ortho unit to say hello to the nurses and the other attendings, you couldn’t help but wonder if you really were good to go. Sure, you missed sex with Amelia. You missed her body, missed connecting with her in that way, but you were also so self-conscious. You hadn’t had any major tears or anything, but you had shoved a human head out of your vagina less than two months ago. It was bound to be different down there. It felt different. What if sex didn’t feel good anymore? What if it never did? Or, even worse, what if it looked or felt different for Amelia, and she didn’t like sleeping with you anymore?

You decided to text Meredith and Cristina about it, as you so often did about any and everything.

Y/N: You guys I’ve been cleared for sex

M: Yay!

C: Good for you bitch

Y/N: I’m kinda scared tho…

M: Aw, why?

Y/N: Does it hurt after? Or like idk was Derek weirded out?

C: It feels like I could have been left out of this conversation

M: Shut up Cristina we’re being supportive! And no Y/N it didn’t hurt. You just have to take it slow and do what feels good at the time. And stop if it doesn’t feel good.

C: You don’t have a dick to deal with so you should be okay

M: CRISTINA

Y/N: I mean tbh we have several

M: Ew she’s my sister I didn’t need to know that…

C: I need to know more…

You shook your head and smiled. You decided that you might as well try, if Amelia was up for it. And there was no question that Amelia was up for it. She’d powered through like a champ, but before this, the longest you’d gone without having sex was two weeks and that was only because you’d been brought in as a specialist on a case at another hospital.

When you walked into the apartment, everything was quiet–a rarity at your house these days. You crept through the rooms, looking for Amelia and Pippa, and finally found them in the nursery. Amelia held Pippa to her chest, bouncing her softly as she slept, little chubby cheeks pressing out like she was blowing bubbles.

You placed a hand on Amelia’s back and kissed her on the cheek. You nodded toward Pippa, eyebrows scrunched.

“I just can’t bring myself to put her down,” Amelia whispered. “How was your appointment?”

“Good.”

Amelia stared pointedly at you. “Good good?”

You nodded, smirking.

If Pippa had not been tiny and fragile, Amelia would have tossed her into the crib like a football.

She placed the baby gently on her back in the crib, then crashed into you with the force of a tidal wave–or six weeks of no sex.

She pushed you into the hallway wall, shutting Pippa’s door behind her, and pressed into you, her mouth and hands desperate. She ran her tongue up and down your neck and back to your mouth and yanked your shirt over your head. God, you’d missed this. You’d missed her. Even though she’d been right here next to you the whole time. She groaned as she pushed herself into you, and you smiled into her kiss.

At this rate, Amelia would be finished before you even had a chance to make it to the bed.

“No, no!” she whined as you pulled away, her blue eyes pleading desperately with you.

“Come to bed, Amy,” you teased, taking her by the hand and leading her to the bedroom.

You gently removed her clothes and pushed her onto the bed. “You first,” you said.

She grabbed at your face hungrily as you leaned over her, kissing you with all the fervor of someone who’s love has been lost at sea for several years. She gasped and arched her back as your hand grazed over her clit.

You couldn’t help but smile at how needy she was, her hips bucking into your hand as you held it still, cupping her heat.

“Y/N, don’t fucking tease me,” she scolded, her voice stuttering. “It’s been way too long for that.”

“Oh, you don’t like that?” you said, smug. It was not often that Amelia was this powerless in bed. Usually it was the other way around, so you were enjoying this moment.

She grabbed your face, rough, and then soft as she ran her hand through your hair. “Just finish me already so I can get inside you.” She pulled your face closer, her breath hot in your ear as she whispered. “I’ve missed the taste of you.”

You’d never switched gears faster. No more power trips, just getting Amelia off as quickly as possible.

You kissed and licked your way down her body, intoxicated by the way she pushed into you and pulled you closer. By the time you reached her center, she was panting and glistening and you knew it'd only be a matter of minutes before she was absolute putty.

You pressed soft kisses into her inner thighs, then closer and closer until she was nearly bursting with the want of you, so that when you finally, finally, wrapped your mouth around her clit, she nearly lost her mind. You held her hips in place as she moaned, licking your way through her, around her, inside of her until she was shaking in your arms, hips rolling to meet your tongue. And for the final touch, you slipped two of your fingers inside of her, curling down and around, just how you knew she liked it. Her hands were gripping your hair so hard you thought might pull it out. “Y/N!” she gasped, her breath coming out in short, sharp moans as she came on your fingers. You smiled as you buried your face in her, guiding her through her high and back down again.

“Holy shit,” she breathed, her chest still heaving.

“Good?” you asked, already knowing the answer, as you wiped your mouth.

She nodded, still struggling to catch her breath. “Give me a second.”

You lay down next to her, feeling wildly pleased with yourself, especially when Amelia rolled over on top of you and pressed her mouth into yours, moaning as she tasted herself on your lips.

But as she worked her way down your body, anxiety shot through you.

You grabbed her hand. “Amy, wait…”

She looked up at you, concerned.

“You don’t have to,” you said, avoiding her eyes.

“I know I don’t,” she replied, still looking at you curiously. “I want to. I’ve wanted to for months.”

“I think…” you stuttered. “I think I’d really rather you didn’t.”

Amelia’s eyebrows furrowed. “Hey,” she said, laying down next to you and propping herself up on her elbow so she could see your face. “What’s going on?”

“I’m just not ready.”

“That’s fine, but you seemed super ready about two minutes ago.”

You didn’t respond, fiddling with an edge of your comforter.

“Y/N,” she said, brushing your hair behind your ear. “Tell me what’s going on in that pretty head please.”

She took your hand and you played with her fingers for a moment before answering.

“I’m scared you won't like it.”

Amelia looked genuinely shocked. “You’re what now?”

“I got messed up down there,” you mumbled. “What if it’s not like normal for you?”

“Oh, babe,” she said, caressing your face. “You’re not messed up. You could never be messed up. You’re you and I love you. I love all of you.”

You stayed quiet.

“Honey,” she continued, more emphatic now. “Your body made a whole human. A human that is sleeping in the bedroom down the hallway. A beautiful, precious human that I love with all my heart and hope with all my heart stays asleep for a while so that I can get in there. She had her time. It's my fucking turn."

You couldn’t help but giggle a bit.

“Listen,” she ranted, excited that your mood was brightening and trying to make you laugh more. “I’m like the Lewis and Clark of vaginas, okay? The wilderness must be explored. I gotta get in there and get the lay of the land. And it might be new, right?”

You nodded, grinning and blushing.

“But new doesn’t mean bad. Lots of times new means better. So just… let me do my exploring, okay?”

“Okay,” you acquiesced.

Amelia was gentler with this attempt, slow and steady and worshipful as she moved down your body, taking her time especially at the place where your uterus still bulged, where new stretch marks had drawn their way across your abdomen. And when she got to your center, she was gentle there, too, mindful of your anxiety, mindful that it might take your body more time than usual to warm up.

She was loving and slow and obsessive, sighing with pleasure as she placed kisses along the inside of your thighs, on your clit, all over you. Amelia’s careful touch had washed away most of your anxiety, leaving behind your flushed face, the shuddering of your body each time her skin met yours.

And when finally, finally, she had you wet and whimpering, she dove in like a woman starved.

“Amy,” you breathed, lightly holding her head in your hands as you threw your own head back, your hips rising to meet her. You could feel her smile against you.

“You want more?” she asked, and you knew she meant, Do you want fingers or a strap or a toy or anything like that?

You shook your head. “No, just–” Your breath caught in your throat, replaced by a moan as the knot in your lower abdomen tightened.  “Just keep going.”

If there was one thing about Amelia, it was that she could eat you out forever. You’d been afraid that would change, but clearly your fears had been unfounded. She was insatiable.

“Amy–” you exclaimed, arching your back as your body approached the edge. You couldn’t even get the words out, just “Amy” over and over.

She reached up to grasp one of your hands in hers as you fell apart around her, Amelia lapping up every last bit of you.

You breathed heavily, watching as Amelia emerged from between your thighs, grinning like an idiot, her face an absolute mess.

You laughed as she wiped her face. “I take it your expedition went well?”

“God!” she exclaimed, flopping down beside you. “I missed you.”

“We literally have not been apart for weeks.”

“Okay, well, then I missed your vagina.”

You giggled, rolling over a bit to kiss her on the cheek. “You’re a dork.”

“Yeah, but I’m your dork,” Amelia retorted, pulling you in for another heated kiss.

You were interrupted then by a loud, crinkly wail through the baby monitor.

Amelia groaned, but you could see a smile creeping in. She stood and stretched. “I’ll go get her.”

“Amelia!” you hissed, throwing a pillow at her. “You can't bring her in here! We’re naked, and it smells like sex!”

“She’s six weeks old! She won’t remember!” Amelia nodded at you. “Go take a shower. Relax. Then we can switch. It's almost time to feed her anyway.”

You lay in bed a moment longer, waiting to hear Amelia on the baby monitor.

“Hello!” she cooed, her voice crackling through the speaker as Pippa continued to cry. “Hi, pretty girl! Oh, I know. I know. You want Mama? Let’s go see her. Oh, you love your mama, don’t you? Mommy does, too.”

You smiled, your heart full as you listened.

“We loooooove Mama, don’t we? Yes, we do. We love her so much.”

Coming Out

Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: some explicit language, mention of an unsub hurting Emily 😱, vague insinuations of homophobia, mostly fluff on fluff, feat. loyal himbo Derek Morgan Word Count: 2k

Summary: Emily gets injured on the job, and all she really wants is you, her girlfriend. But she's not out to the rest of the team yet. Can she be vulnerable enough to share that part of herself with the team? Can she be vulnerable enough to let you take care of her? Takes place at the end of S3.E2.

Emily dabbed at her head and winced, checking her watch to see if it had been long enough to take more pain medication. But despite getting clocked with a plank of wood, she was glad to be on the jet, glad to be back with her team because they really were starting to feel like her team. Who was she kidding? She loved her job.

According to the pilot, the team would be landing at Quantico in a little over an hour. Emily grabbed her phone, discreetly shoving it into her pocket, before heading to the back of the plane. She needed to call you, but the rest of the team didn't know about you yet. Hell, the rest of the team didn't even know she was gay. It felt too personal, and she'd been hurt by people's reactions–people she loved and trusted deeply–too many times. She played her relationships and her sexuality close to the vest.

Reid tapped Emily's arm as she passed by.

"Oh! Are you going all the way to the back?"

Emily tensed. "Yep."

"Could you bring me a Sprite?"

She felt her shoulders relax, and she patted Reid on the arm. "Sure."

After knocking on the bathroom door to make sure that truly no one was around, she called you, her voice hushed as she rifled through tiny airplane soda cans, looking for Reid's Sprite.

"Hey, Em," you said, your voice bright.

"Hey," she said, a goofy smile spreading across her face. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing much. Saw a street rat earlier. I named him Guillermo. I think he's on the prowl for a girlfriend."

Emily laughed, covering her mouth.

"How was Milwaukee?" you asked.

"Good. Really good. We got the guy. We're on the plane now."

She could nearly hear how smug you were through the phone.

"You're glad you went back," you snickered, relishing in being right. She'd sworn that it wasn't a big deal, that it'd be easy to get another good job, but you knew her heart was with the BAU.

Emily sighed. "I am. You were right."

"You're gonna stay?"

"Looks that way."

"I knew it!" you crowed. "I'm glad. You're too good at your job to quit it."

"Thanks, love. Listen, Y/N, can I ask you a favor?"

"Of course! Anything."

Emily winced, touching the swollen bump on her head. "We land in about an hour. Can you pick me up and stay at my place tonight?"

"Wow." You drew out the vowel, milking the fact that Emily needed you for once. "You missed me that much, huh?"

"Well, yes, of course, but... I, uh... I kind of have a concussion?"

Your tone shifted immediately from smug to concerned. "What?! Why?! What happened!?"

"Unsub hit me with a plank of wood," she admitted reluctantly.

"Jesus Christ, Em! Are you okay!?"

"I'm fine, baby, I promise," she reassured you. "I just got a little banged up, that's all. But I'll need you to wake me up every few hours and make sure I'm cognizant."

"I think I have some soup in the freezer," you observed, your voice far away. You'd put her on speakerphone to rifle through the cabinets. "And I have a thermometer. I don't know, do concussions cause fevers? I've never had one."

Emily shook her head, smiling. She loved that your first response, always, was to take care of her. Emily was not used to being taken care of, and she didn't let many people do it. She certainly wouldn't let many people see it either. But she let you.

"No thermometers needed. Just you and your car and more you when we get home."

"You got it. When did you say you land?"

"In about an hour."

"Okay. I'll leave in a few."

"Oh," Emily added quickly. "And you're cleared to drive into Quantico. They know the car you drive and they've got your ID on file. Just show it to them at the gate."

You paused. "Well, that's a little Big Brother of them."

"I gave it to them a few months ago. Just in case you ever needed to come by. Sorry, I should've told you."

"It's okay," you decided, pulling on a jacket and a beanie. "It feels kind of badass to be on Quantico's list."

Emily laughed, almost excited to have a concussion because it meant you'd be snuggled right up to next to her for however long it took to get better. 48 hours at least.

"Alright, baby," she finished, Reid's Sprite in hand. "I'll see you in a bit."

"Bye, love."

Emily wiped the grin off her face before returning to the cabin with Reid's Sprite–it'd look suspicious if she was too happy coming back.

An hour later, the team was going their separate ways in the parking lot, waving goodbyes and slamming car doors under the buzzing lights.

Emily leaned on the wall outside the building entrance, relishing the crisp night air.

"You need a ride, Prentiss?" Morgan asked as he walked out, used go-bag slung over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be driving" He pointed to her head.

"No, that's okay," Emily waved him off. "I've got– uh... someone's... picking me up."

Fuck, she thought. The concussion was not helping her ability to lie well.

Morgan stared at her suspiciously.

"What?" Emily laughed, trying to act normal.

"Why are you acting shifty?"

"I'm not!" she protested.

Morgan smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Do you have a secret boyfriend?"

"What?" Emily said, laughing a little too forcefully. "No!"

He crossed his arms and waited. "You're seriously not gonna tell me?"

Emily leaned against the brick wall, rubbing her forehead. On the one hand, she was tired of keeping you–and herself–a secret. And if anyone was going to be supportive of someone on the team getting laid, it would be Morgan. But on the other, did she really know that much about him? She didn't know his religious background. Sure, he'd defend a gay victim, but that was his job. This was personal.

Emily sighed before replying. "I have... I have a secret girlfriend."

The silence felt like it lasted hours, stretching between them until Emily was sure the chasm would never close again, and that with just a few words, just by being herself, she'd ruined any chance of a friendship with Derek Morgan. It wouldn't be the first time. It probably wouldn't be the last.

Morgan seemed to think deeply before leaning against the wall next to Emily, turning to look her in the eye.

"Prentiss, why didn't you tell us you were gay?"

Emily was afraid to look at him, but when she did, her heart soared. He looked at her with nothing but love and respect and appreciation, no hint of hatred or disgust. If anything, he looked sad that she'd waited so long to tell him.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't always get a good reaction."

"Well, you know nobody on this team would have a problem with that, right? Hell, Garcia'd probably hang pride flags everywhere."

"I know," Emily nodded. "I just... I don't think I'm ready yet. For everyone to know. Soon, though."

Morgan nodded, then thought for a few minutes before asking, "Is it serious?"

Emily chuckled. "Being gay? Yeah, I'd say so."

Morgan shoved her shoulder gently, mindful of the day's injuries. "No! The girl! How long have you been seeing her?"

"A little over six months."

"So, it's serious."

Emily grinned. She was glad to have someone to talk to about this. She'd held it so close for so long. She wasn't used to having anyone to tell about you. Maybe Morgan could be that person.

"Promise not to tell the others?"

Morgan put his hand over his heart. "Promise."

"I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd let me."

"Wow." Morgan raised his eyebrows, smiling lightly. "Prentiss is in love," he said, teasing her.

Emily fought a wide smile, but lost in the end. "Oh, shut up. And don't tell anyone. Especially her."

"Your secret's safe with me," Morgan reassured her. And she could tell he meant it. Emily trusted him, she realized. She trusted him to be a good friend, to keep her secrets. She trusted him not to out her to the rest of the team. He'd let her go at her own pace when it came to telling the others.

"She better be amazing," Morgan added. "I don't know how anyone could be good enough for you."

Just at that moment, a pair of headlights crept slowly into the parking lot, hesitant and unsure. It had to be you. Emily stepped forward and waved a bit, then turned to Morgan.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.

"Not with that head, you won't," Morgan observed.

You put the car in park next to the curb and leapt out of the driver's seat, hurrying over to Emily.

"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, anger and concern washing over you. "I thought you you said you were fine!"

You gingerly touched Emily's face and pulled her head down to examine the butterfly bandage above her eyebrow.

"Look at this," you grumbled, more to yourself than anyone else. "It's already bruising." You glared at the butterfly bandage. "Did a doctor do this or you? If it was you, I think we should clean it with rubbing alcohol at home."

Morgan looked absolutely delighted, both because you seemed like a delightful person and because Emily was beet red at being observed with you.

"Y/N, I'm fine," Emily said firmly, grasping your fingers in hers and removing them from her face. "This is my colleague Derek Morgan. Morgan, my girlfriend, Y/N."

You looked Morgan over and immediately decided you liked him. Mostly because you could tell that he really cared about Emily. But also because he looked mischievous, like he'd tease her. And if there was anything you loved, it was teasing Emily. You shook his hand enthusiastically. "It's really nice to meet you," you said. And you meant it.

But you didn't have time to chat with Morgan tonight. You were too worried about Emily.

"You don't look fine," you argued, looking to Morgan for backup. "Does she look fine to you?"

Morgan grinned at Emily, raising his eyebrows. "She definitely looks like she could use some TLC."

"Oh, and she'll get it alright," you assured him, opening the passenger door for Emily. "Shall we?"

Emily bent gingerly to get into the car, and you were careful to guard her head from the ceiling.

"Derek, it was really nice to meet you," you said, shaking his hand one more time for good measure as Emily rolled down the window, staring bullets at Morgan.

"You too, Y/N," he said, looking over your shoulder at Emily. "I hope you all have a very marry evening."

Emily pointed at him aggressively behind your back, mouthing, "SHUT. UP."

"See you, Prentiss," he called as you pulled away. He laughed and called out, "I hope it's a real honeymoon from work!"

Emily's hand shot out the window, flipping him off.

Later that night, your alarm buzzed and you blinked awake. You forgot for a moment that you were at Emily's, but her strong arms wrapped protectively around your waist were enough to remind you where you were.

You turned slowly to face a sleeping Emily, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Em. Hey. You gotta wake up, honey."

She groaned, placing a hand on her head.

"Sorry," you grimaced. "Gotta make sure your brain's alright."

"My brain is fine," she growled.

"Oh, yeah?" you joked, checking the time before shaking a few pills into your hand from the pill bottle on the nightstand. "Who am I, then?"

"The love of my life, Whitney Houston."

You laughed, which made Emily laugh, too. But she quickly doubled over in pain, groaning.

"Here, take these," you said gently, handing her the pills and a glass of water. "It'll help."

She took the pills obediently and lay back down.

"You know," you said, pulling up the blankets to make sure they covered Emily's shoulders. "I may not be Whitney Houston..." You wrapped your arms around her and drew her to you, and she burrowed her head into the space between your neck and your collarbone.

"But I think I'm a close second," you finished, running your fingers rhythmically through Emily's hair.

She sighed contentedly, pressing into you, then moving one of your arms to wrap it more tightly around her.

"Why are you so good to me?" she asked, quiet. You couldn't quite tell if it was a joke or serious, but you'd reply the same either way.

"Because I love you, you nerd."

She leaned up, planting a kiss underneath your chin. "I love you, too."

Within minutes she was conked out again, and you were setting another alarm, ready to do it all over again in a few hours.

I hate Andrew and would love the rage room 😂🤬

Rage Room

pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader

category: fluff

warnings: none

word count: 646

age: 16

summary: your mom brings you to a rage room

I saw my mom through the window of the rage room and smiled. She had her phone out, recording me. I had taped a picture of Andrew's face to the glass table I was about to absolutely demolish. I put on my goggles and watched her count down until I started smashing the sledgehammer against the glass table, smiling as I saw the glass fly everywhere, imagining it was Andrew.

It didn't time long for me to destroy everything in the room, and once I did I walked outside and high fived my mom, taking off my glasses. "With the amount of enjoyment I felt doing that I wouldn't be surprised if I were to turn out to be a serial killer."

"I don't want to have to send you to jail so I'm going to pretend like I never heard that." I laughed and looked through the window again, seeing the flash shards everywhere and the shredded picture of Andrew.

"I want him to see it."

"If he does he's going to file for a restraining order." She pointed out.

"Well...maybe I can hit him with a sledgehammer instead."

"Well...then you'd be in prison for murder."

"But since I'm not 18 yet it would be expunged from my records once I turned 18."

"Not if you intentionally murder someone." She put her arm around my shoulders, kissing my temple as we walked out of the building.

"But what if it was accidental?"

"I don't think the judge would buy that."

"Mom! You're supposed to be on my side here!" I protested, getting into the car with a disappointed look on my face. "I wish I didn't date a stupid piece of shit for a year." I slumped down in my seat.

"Me too. But you're not dating him anymore. So it's ok."

"I know but I wasted a year on him. Imagine if I had been with the right person. I would be so much happier."

"Yeah." My mom sighed and patted my knee. "Well...it might take you a while to find your person."

"Wow. That makes me feel so much better." I said sarcastically.

"I'm 43 and I still haven't found my person. But I'm so happy with you! You're all I need." She grabbed my hand.

"But what if I don't have kids? What if I'm just alone?"

"You're 16. You have so much time to find the right person for you." She started the car and backed out of the parking lot. "You're not expected to find the love of your life in high school." I sighed, leaning my head against the window. "It's gonna be ok, you know? Now that you dated someone like Andrew you know the red flags for people like him." She pointed out.

"Yeah. I guess."

"It's gonna be alright honey." We finally arrived home and I was so glad to just be home and spend time with my mom. She put her hand on my upper back and led me upstairs to my room. We both laid down on my bed and she grabbed my laptop from my nightstand, handing it to me so I could type in my password. I pulled up Gilmore Girls and leaned into my mom, hugging her arm tightly.

"Thanks for taking me to the rage room. I really needed that. I've felt so angry for so long and it felt amazing to finally be able to get it all out."

"Of course honey." She kissed the top of my head. "It always feels nice to relieve your anger. Especially when it's about a shitty boyfriend."

"You had a shitty boyfriend?"

"Mhm. Many. A lot of lessons learned." I sighed and leaned into her more. "But it's gonna be ok, yeah?"

"Yeah...I guess."

"It will be. No I guess."

"Ok...it'll be ok."

"I love you sweetie."

"I love you too mom."

Carina x reader based on the song Sara by we three

Sara

pairing: carina deluca x fem reader

category: hurt/comfort, fluff

warnings: self harm, suicide attempt

word count: 964

summary: based on sara by we three

"Seriously bambina you need to stop drinking." Carina snatched my beer from my hand and threw it in the trash. "It's not good for you."

"Well the air gives you cancer but we still breathe."

"You know what I mean." I sighed and leaned back against the couch, licking my lips and trying to clear my mind now that the alcohol was gone. "Next thing I know I'm going to find you in bed smoking weed!" She angrily fluffed the pillows but I didn't react, just stared ahead.

"It was just twice."

"Bambina? Seriously?" I finally looked to her, seeing the hurt and shocked look on her face. "Did you learn nothing from health class in school? Or from me? Come on bella, you know better."

"Weed isn't even that bad." I scoffed.

"I am not having this conversation." She stroked out of the room and slammed the door to our bedroom. I slumped down on the couch and pulled a blanket over me, guess I was sleeping on the couch tonight.

I could hide the cuts well as long as I wore long sleeves which was everyday now. Carina didn't expect anything, thank God. I didn't know how I would explain that to her. "Bambina! I'm home!" She sounded happier than normal which surprised me but I liked to see her that way.

"Hi." I got pulled into her arms as soon as she saw me. "What's up?"

"I delivered three babies today and they were all healthy and their mommies all lived too." She kissed my forehead. "It was a very good day." I smiled but it didn't quite reach my eyes. I was glad she was having a good day but I hadn't had one in so long, I was kind of jealous. "Bella what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Bambina..."

"It's nothing. I promise." She frowned but nodded, knowing better than to press the issue.

"Well...talk to me if you need to, ok?" I nodded and smiled.

"Thanks."

I scribbled down some words for Carina to explain to her why I was doing it. I did feel a bit bad, but she deserved so much better than me and if I was finally out of the way then she could find the person she was meant to be with. I was in everyone's way. There was no point to me being here, nothing was enjoyable anymore and no one loved me except for Carina but she could move on.

I slit my wrists cleanly as I heard the front door open, cutting deep. She wasn't supposed to be home yet I still had a few hours. "Bambina where are you? I've called you ten times!" Shit. I watched the blood pour onto the ground but I didn't try to stop it. I heard her start to walk upstairs and my heart dropped. "Bambina are you in there?" She stopped outside the bathroom door and knocked a few times. "Y/n?" I didn't answer. "Y/n are you in there?" She knocked more frantically now.

My vision was starting to get a bit blurry and she was trying to knock down the door, knowing that something was wrong. "Bambina, open the door!" The door finally giving in was the last thing I heard before eveyrhing went black.

I woke up in a bright room, hearing a steady beeping sound to my right and small sobs to my left. "You're awake." I heard Carinas broken voice so I turned my head. "Why'd you do it?"

"Hm?" I blinked slowly.

"Why'd you try to kill yourself?"

"I..." Her eyes softened as I struggled to come up with the words.

"You don't have to answer now bambina...I...I just want to know why...why you felt like you had to do it." I turned my head to stare at the ceiling, not knowing how to word it. I didn't want to tell her that I just needed to put an end to the pain because the distractions weren't doing it for me anymore but that was depressing and I didn't want her to be more concerned than she already was.

"I'm sorry."

"I know you are bella." She squeezed my hand. "You really scared me, you know that?"

"I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing."

"But I have so much to apologize for."

"Don't apologize for how you tried to get rid of your pain." My lips quivered as I tried not to cry. "And it's ok to cry." She sat down on the bed next to me. "You're allowed to cry. You're allowed to bella-"

"But I don't want to."

"Holding it back only makes things harder. When was the last time you cried?"

"Six months ago."

"Bambina..."

"I know...not good." I leaned into her, hugging her arm.

"I just want you to be ok."

"I want to be ok too, I want that so bad." I sniffled as a few tears fell.

"You can be ok, but you can't use unhealthy coping mechanisms and expect to be ok." My bottom lip trembled and I nodded. "I'm going to help you as much as I can, ok?" I nodded and let out a sigh of relief as she pulled me into a hug.

"Thank you so much."

"You're welcome bella." She ran her fingers through my hair, kissing the top of my head. "I want to be here for you."

"I need that."

"Yeah?" She gently massaged my scalp.

"I'm sorry for not asking you for help earlier."

"Y/n. Do not apologize." I nodded into her neck, hugging her tighter, so glad that I would be able to hug her as much as I want, that I didn't actually die. "I love you so much. I will be here for you every step of the way."

"I love you too."

I loved your writing in Pressure, I’d love you to continue it if you wanted!!

Break Up With Him

pairing: jennifer jareau x daughter reader

category: hurt/comfort

warnings: sexual pressure

word count: 764

age: 16

summary: your mom helps you finally get rid of your musty boyfriend

A few weeks had passed and I had been avoiding my boyfriend like the plague. I hadn't actually broken up with him unfortunately but I didn't want something like this to break our relationship. "Hey mom?"

"Yeah hon?"

"Can Andrew come over tonight?"

"What?" She closed her laptop and turned her full body to look at me. "Andrew your boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"That you haven't talked to in 2 weeks because he's been trying to pressure you into doing sexual stuff?"

"Yeah but-"

"No he's not coming over."

"But-"

"No. And I'm not going to apologize for it either." She stood up and walked over to me. "You said a week ago that you wanted to break up with him because it wasn't fair to you that he was treating you this way."

"But it's just one little thing. I can't let that destroy our relationship."

"Him pushing your boundaries multiple times even though you told him to stop?" I frowned and looked at the ground. "He's the one who told you it was a little thing wasn't it? He said he was going to change?"

"But he will-"

"People like him are never going to change." She sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Look, I've encountered people like him in my job so much I know them like the back of my hand. I want so much to just break up with him for you and shoot him dead, but I can't. You have to learn these things on your own."

"He's not a serial killer mom."

"He thinks he's entitled to your body. He pressures you into doing things you don't want to do for his benefit and you end up getting hurt in the end and he doesn't care." I frowned. She was right.

"He doesn't care about me?" I could barely hear myself.

"I'm sorry honey but no...he doesn't. If he did he wouldn't be treating you like this." I blinked back tears so she wouldn't see them and then looked at my phone when it buzzed. It was Andrew. He told me he was bringing condoms. I texted back and told him we wouldn't need them. He texted back and told me I never knew. "Give me your phone." My mom demanded. I gave in and handed it to her, sinking down onto the ground, holding my knees to my chest.

"I hate this." I whispered. She didn't answer, to focused on typing an essay to him. "I want to break up with him...but I love him, you know?"

"Oh honey." She hit send and then sat down next to me.

"It would be so much easier if you could break up with him for me, you know? And I get it...I understand that I have to do things by myself but I just...I can't bring myself to do it."

"Are you scared of what he's going to do if you break up with him?" I nodded and rested my cheek on my knees, looking at her. She sighed and put her arm around my shoulders. "I broke up with you for him hon."

"What?" I lifted my head up.

"Well not technically. I just told him that you were grounded and you weren't allowed to have your phone for two months and that as your mother I forbid you from seeing him ever again."

"Oh." My heartbeat slowed down a bit.

"So...so he's not gonna try to contact me for at least two months so I have time to figure out how to officially break it off with him."

"Yeah. You do." She kissed my temple softly before pulling me into a hug. I started sobbing against her chest, so grateful to have her as a mom and have her looking out for me. "Shh baby, it's ok. I've got you, everything's ok."

"Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me." I held her as tight as possible.

"Of course." She rubbed my back while kissing the top of my head every few seconds. "I just want to keep you safe." I sniffled and tilted my head up a bit to look at her through teary eyes. She wiped my tears away before kissing my forehead. "I'm always here for you."

"Thank you." My bottom lip trembled. I was practically shaking with gratitude and relief but it only came out through tears.

"Of course. You're my daughter, I'll always look out for you hon." She tucked my hair behind my ears before kissing my forehead again. "I love you."

"I love you too."