Better || Six

better || six

summary: even on the hardest days, jimin comes to the rescue to help you, but you were alone at the end of the day once you realized what you have loss.

word count: 1,546 (i’m so sorry)

genre: bestfriend!jimin, college!au, bestfriends to lovers!au - fluff/angst

one || two || three || four || five || six

The worst part about losing someone is that no amount of crying or missing them could bring them back. Because at the end of the day, the world will move on and slowly forget the sole existence of the one you loss.  

No amount of expensive flowers, words of affirmations, long hugs from family members, and dishes of casserole could ever make you heal from the loss of your mother. 

While your grieving father received endless support and meaningful gestures from losing the love of his life, you were completely locked up in your bedroom, trying to replace the empty feeling in your life. There was no crying, screaming, or laughter coming out of you; all you felt was numbness in your sixteen year old body.

As the days passed on, the feeling began to fade, but on the day that marked the sixth year of your mother’s death, you couldn’t help but to feel the hole in your heart once again. It couldn’t just be an ordinary day and had to be a day that reminded you of heartbreak. 

Already knowing your phone was buzzing on the black nightstand from calls and texts from your aunt, your dad, and friends, asking if you were okay, you cling to the queen-sized blanket to your chest with tears running down your face.

“I know you don’t want to talk right now,” Taehyung said in a soft voice. He was outside your closed bedroom door, unsure what to do to comfort you. “And that’s okay because you don’t have to. I just want to let you know that your dad’s flight got delayed, so he’ll be here tomorrow with my mom and dad. He also ordered food for us tonight. It’s from your favorite restaurant from your hometown.” 

He patiently waited for your response, but you stayed quiet. He wanted to hear anything from a “fuck off” to a sarcastic remark that you weren’t hungry. He was about to walk away, until he said, “We can even watch the Lorax on repeat, and I won’t complain about anything.” 

Although it was faint, he smiled, hearing a small laugh and your soft, sad voice. “But you hate the Lorax.” 

“I do.” He chuckled. “But I know you miss watching it with your mom, and that’s all that matters.” 

But she wasn’t here. 

Before you could reply, the sound of your bedroom door opening and closing stopped you. You were about to throw a pillow, ready to scream at him to leave you, but the sight of Jimin in his black university sweats with his hair all messy as if he had just woken up too, surprised you.

It had been a couple weeks since you’ve last spoken to Jimin. He sent numerous texts and left a dozen voicemails, wanting to explain everything after that night, but since then, he took your silence as an answer, not reaching out to you. Additionally, he didn’t ask your friends about you and had avoided situations if he knew you were going to be there. 

Although you knew that Taehyung told your friends what had happened between the two of you, they respectfully didn’t ask you or mention Jimin’s name around you, allowing you to have personal space away from the topic. You didn’t know how it was possible for them to act like Jimin never existed, but the feeling was refreshing, knowing your identity was still separate than being Tae’s cousin and Jimin’s best friend. 

There were times when you felt bad, depriving them of one of their closest friends. You didn’t mean for it to seem like a divorced family type of ordeal, but at the same time, you were glad your friends understood the fact that you were hurt and not ready to talk to him. 

However, three days ago, you had run into Jessica at Jimin and Taehyung’s dorm complex. Although it was expected to see Jessica, you were still surprised that you had run into her first than running into your best friend.

“Jessica!” Your eyes widened in shock as you had gotten off the elevator. She was holding a couple of black dry-cleaning bags in one hand and keys in the other. “What are you doing here?” 

“Hey…” She gave you a smile, but you could tell there was a feeling of annoyance of your presence in her system. “I’m heading up there to drop some things off.” 

“Oh.” Your heart dropped, seeing the dry-cleaning bag with Jimin’s name on it. 

“Yeah…” Her voice trailed off. 

“Okay, this is awkward.” You nervously laughed, but Jessica did not join in. “I hope you know that me and Jimin never did anything, and I never had any motive or intention of jeopardizing your relationship with him.” 

“It’s in the past now.” She shrugged, tightening her grip on the hanger. “We talked about it, and it’s alright. No big deal. Were you just hanging out with him?” 

“No, actually.” She raised her eyebrows at you, surprised with your answer. “I was with Jin. We baked some cookies. You should have some when you get up there because there’s a lot left.”

Nodding, she took the opportunity to say goodbye and went on the elevator, clicking on the button to their apartment. “I’ll see you later.”

Without saying a word, Jimin got on the right side of the bed, pulling the blanket over his body. If it had been any other time, he would intertwine his legs with yours, wiping away the tears on your face. But afraid of your response, he stared at you for a while. “Oh my sweet princess, have you ate yet? It’s almost noon.” 

You wanted to ask him what he was doing here, but instead you lied, nodding your head. He knew you hadn’t ate at all, but he wasn’t going force or reprimand you. He knew that was the last thing you needed, so he kept staring into your eyes, hoping you would talk to him.

“To be honest, I was going to take you out to get ice cream again and maybe to the fair to get your mind off of things before we watched the movie.” He paused to yawn, still probably tired from the night before with Jessica. “But I know you, and if we did that, it wouldn’t make you happy. Because it won’t fix the feeling of missing your mom. It won’t bring her back.” 

“I’m stupid right? Because you would think after six years, I would know what to do by now. That the last thing on your mind is to distract yourself from that feeling.” You closed your eyes, letting the tears run down your face. It had already hurt, but the feeling intensified hearing, seeing, breathing of the person you had just lost. “I know you probably think it should be time to move on and do what’s best. But here’s the thing Y/N, it’s been six years and it’s still okay to cry. If that is best for you, then it is okay to cry.” 

“It’s been six years,” you repeated, still with your eyes closed, trying to imagine her face without looking at a picture. As the years blurred together, you were slowly starting to forget what she looked like, what she sounded like, what she felt like and more. 

Besides apologizing over the loss, people kept telling you that your mother still lived in your memories and in your heart, and that time could heal you. But that was all a lie to comfort you. Because six years later, you were starting to forget her along with everyone else. 

“Can I wipe your tears?” He asked, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. “I won’t unless you let me.”

Giving him permission, he wiped your tears, wishing he could make it stop. “It hurts,” you cried. “Everything is fine, but I’m not.” 

“Darling, I know,” he said. “I know, let it out.” 

For the longest time, you had thought losing your mom was the worst thing that could have happened to you. She wouldn’t see you graduate, be there for your first heartbreak and see her grandchildren playing on the front porch. 

But at that moment, it felt like you were crying because you missed her, but you realized it hurt even more losing someone who was still alive because they’re still here, but no longer in your life. 

There might be a day when maybe the two of you could talk about what had happened, what went wrong and perhaps, what could have been. The time to do that was not right now. You were not ready to face the truth. 

And even though it hurt, you were glad that your best friend was here even if he didn’t feel the same way as you did.

As soon as the sun goes down, you were going to have to live with that fact that from now on, you were going to deal with everything alone. No one else in the world would understand or even comprehend enough to comfort you like he did. You had to enjoy and cherish this moment.

You had to grieve over the loss of Jimin, and you knew that was going to take a lifetime to get over. 

_____

tldr: i am so sorry, i promise i will finish this. 

a/n: i can’t believed i started these so long ago and still have not finished! i am so sorry. i honestly wanted to finish this last december, but however, time really is not on my side. i struggled with my mental health lately as i study for the law school admission tests. i hope to finish this soon <3 thanks for reading 

too young || seven

summary: another hospital visit brings you and jungkook together again.

word count: 1485

genre:  parent!au, single dad!jungkook angst

one || two || three || four || five || six || seven

“Do you want to explain what happened here?” Your mom asked with a look of disgust on her face, examining all the boxes of Chinese takeout boxes all over the kitchen island, paper plates overfilling the trashcan, definitely leaving a distinct odor of grease. “Or should I ask the rats next door?” 

“Real funny, Mom.” You chuckled, turning on the lights for your apartment. “I didn’t know you would be coming up to visit, or otherwise, I think this place would have been cleaner than Marie Kondo’s house.” 

“Well, I was a little worried. You hadn’t picked up my calls for a couple of days.” Your mom takes a seat on your black leather couch, patting the spot next to her. “Come and sit by me. I’ve missed my only child and want to make sure you’re okay.

“Of course, I am okay,” you said, sighing as you took a seat next to her. “There’s no reason for me to be not okay.” 

She raised her eyebrows at you. “Right because seeing Jungkook at the hospital was definitely something to be okay about.”

“I have been a little busy.” It wasn’t a complete lie. 

The last time you had spoken to your mom you had briefly texted her about the whole hospital situation and how you unintentionally ran into Jungkook. She tried calling numerous times after that, but you never picked up. You drowned yourself back into work, not wanting to think about your personal life, barely cooking, eating and showering. 

“Yeah I can tell,” she joked, laughing. “Kiddo, you know it’s okay to cry. You don’t have to hold it all together.” 

“What is there to cry about?” Shrugging your shoulders, you gave a small smile, not wanting any feeling of despair to show on your face. “I’m fine, really.” 

“So you didn’t like him?” 

“Of course I liked him! But come on, sometimes you just have to walk away right?” Your mom was one of the supportive people in the world, but there were times where she would always use logic and tell you to change your path. At the casino, she saw how gambling and not being able to walk away broke people. People had a hard time to let go of things or even people, but you felt conditioned to feel like it was better to walk away.

“Okay.” She nodded slowly. “What are you walking away from?”

“Him.” 

“But didn’t he tell you that he chose you?” 

Your conversation with Jungkook at the hospital replays in your head once more. He told you that he didn’t want you to be Sarah, and that he loved you for the way you were. You were the one who saw him as an individual and gave him the opportunities to prove what a great guardian he could be. You didn’t pity him for sacrificing everything for Jules, but admired him and his heart. 

But at the end of the day, you still weren’t Sarah. 

He never did all those things for you, and you didn’t know what it all meant. 

He kept that information about Sarah private, as if he had something to hide, as if it were true at one point of time. 

“I rather be alone than to not know where I truly stand in his life.” 

She smiled. “But that’s the thing, Kiddo. You always take the risk. Don’t let fear and insecurity stop you now and deprive you of happiness.” 

“But Mom-” You opened your mouth, but no words left. You knew she was right, and it was almost the exact same thing you told Jungkook when he asked you why did you agree to get to know him. “You know I can be happy being alone.” 

“I do, but I also know you were happy with him too.” Her mom instincts kicked in, because even though you did not say anything, she wrapped her arms around you, knowing you needed a hug from the person you knew and loved you. “Misunderstandings happen.”

“I know,” you softly cried. 

“Even if you don’t take the risk, sometimes luck comes into your life.”

Before you could respond to her, your phone started to ring in your back pocket. Pulling away, you wiped your face, making sure there was no visible tears streaming down your face. 

“Who is calling you this late at night?” Your mom asked. 

Grabbing the phone out of your pocket, you shook your head in disbelief after looking at the screen. You handed the phone to her. She looked down and saw the name flashing across the screen: Jungkook. 

"I told you so,” your mom teased, playfully pushing you to the side. “Do you want me to stay or go to the other room?”

“Please stay.” 

You slid to answer the call and pressed the speaker button. 

"Y/N?” He said in a strained voice. “Can you come to the hospital right now? I really need you.” 

_______

Rushing through the hospital doors, you instantly lock eyes with Jungkook, automatically wrapping your arms around him. 

Jungkook sobbed in your arms, speaking so fast that you could barely understand a word he was saying. You could only make out Jules and soccer for the most part. Most of his words were incoherent between the heavy pants and breathes.

“I’m here, Kook. I’m here. I’m here.” You repeated. “It’s okay. I’m here.” 

He held onto you a little tighter, afraid it might be the last time he could do this. “I’m sorry.” 

Pulling away slightly, you looked up at him. His eyes were full of water, making it seem like he could cry forever and the tears could never stop. With your left thumb, you caress his wet cheek, not saying a word.

When Jungkook finally has his breathing under control, he took a deep breath. “Jules had an injury at her soccer game. She ended up tripping on her teammate’s shoe laces and her body had just slammed into the goal post.”

“Did she hit her head?”

“The doctors are looking at her now. It’s worse than a sprained ankle, so she might have fractured or broken her ankle. She could have also tore her knee muscles or something as she still is growing, you know? That’s how it works, right?” He started rambling. “Oh god, what if she can never walk again? Why did I let her play soccer? What if she is in more pain at the doctors? What if they take away Jules away from me?”

“That is not going to happen,” you snapped. “I won’t let that happen.” 

“But how do you know?” 

“You turned your whole life around for Jules, someone who isn’t even your own child. You have given her everything, and the thing is, the world isn’t perfect. Sometimes it is cruel and things like this happen. But one incident, mistake, or whatever, will not make anyone take Jules from you. And it does not define you.” 

His body softened in comfort. “And I thought I had to be the one good with words.” 

You released a small laugh. “I’m an educator, bro.”

Finally, he pulled away, looking down at you. “Thank you for being here.” 

“Anything for Jules,” you said. “Anything for you.”

It isn’t hours later until the doctors come get you and Jungkook from the waiting room. The doctors explained that they performed a procedure to put wires in her ankle bones to help her heal. The surgery happened without a problem, but they had kept her for a while without visitors to monitor her and let her rest. 

They had let you and Jungkook come in when Jules had briefly woke up. 

“Y/N!” Jules’s eyes sparkled once she saw you. “You’re here.” 

“How are you feeling?” You asked sitting down to her left as Jungkook sat on the child to her right. “I’m sorry I couldn’t watch the game.”

She chuckled. “I’m glad you didn’t see me fall.” 

“It’s okay, Jules. I recorded it,” Jungkook joked, taking her small hand to his mouth, giving her small kisses. 

“When can we go home?” She asked.

“Soon,” he promised. “Soon, but for now, get some rest, okay. I want you to be okay.” 

“I’m okay,” she replied. “Can you just sing the songs for her?” 

“Not now.” 

“Please,” she begged. “I’m the one in the hospital bed.” 

Jungkook turned his head to look at you. He smiled slightly, looked back at Jules and caressed her hair. “The mp3 isn’t here.” 

They brought up the mp3 player once again, leaving you confused. “Why do you need it?” 

“I recorded your favorite book for you to listen to, so whenever you miss me, you can just listen to it.” He stared at you with his beaming eyes, not wanting to look at anything else but you. “There’s about 30 songs on there. And I sang all of them. And they’re all about you.”

_______

hi i want to apologize because it has been SO LONG maybe 2 years(?) that i have written. tldr; i struggled during undergrad but now i graduated and will be taking a gap year and want to continue writing :) 

it is crazy how i started this in high school and now i have graduated college! my writing has gotten so much better i promise. but also sorry because i want better and too young done asap so not proofread and not written the best it could be 

smol

sitting here crying over part 5 of better, I am loving this story so much! So sweet in places and such effective angst. Can't wait for part 6 <3

thank you so much for reading! lots of love.

Will the next chapter of “too young” be the last one for the series?

no :) too young will end with either eight or nine parts! i haven't decided yet, i am still stuck LOL.

helllooo how are youuu any updates on too young?

hi lovely i finally updated :) thanks for reading