jesselabilis - I write stuff, I guess.
jesselabilis
I write stuff, I guess.

Ao3

223 posts

Need A Leather Jacket Made Out Of Real Leather To Feel The Essence Of The Hunted Beast Wrapped Around

need a leather jacket made out of real leather to feel the essence of the hunted beast wrapped around my shoulders. need it to have fur so i can have two different animals draped across me.

real animals, freshly hunted souls still clinging to the material in bloody vengeance. look upon me, i'm the true alpha predator in this walmart

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leather wal mart apex

More Posts from Jesselabilis

jesselabilis
1 year ago

original character in chinese wuxia style of 旋风博文

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jesselabilis
1 year ago
A post on the r/energydrinks subreddit with a picture of a monster drink frozen into a popsicle and the title "Does making energy drinks into popsicles lower the efficacy if the caffeine? I enjoy mixing together multiple kinds of energy drinks and freezing them into caffeinesciles... but if the freezing process is degrading the caffeine molecules, I'll stop immediately. I need maximum torque."
A comment from u/longrange_tiddymilk that reads "No it shouldn't change the caffeine bioavailability or it's effectiveness. Have you tried shoving the Popsicle up your ass?" OP u/Limo-Dick_Calvin replies, "No, I haven't but if I were to boof an energy drink I think this would definitely be the way to do it. I think I'll schedule a time for myself to boof a caffeinesicle tomorrow at 11am. Edit: I did it. [link to update post]" u/Glad-Jellyfish-69 replies, "bro is going to the ER with frostbite in their colon [frozen emoji]"
Post from u/Limp-Dick_Calvin on r/energydrinks reading: "Update: Energy Drink Popsicle Successfully Boofed. Trip Report: Hey guys, its limp dick calvin, many of you might of seen my post yesterday about my practice of freezing my energy drinks into icy caffeinesicles for my sucking pleasure. Now, quite a few creative folks recommended that I boof the popsicle for maximum caffeine absorption. I've always wanted to boof something, whether that be alcohol, acid, or caffeine, but I never have. Acid is feasible I guess, but the idea of pouring a liquid down my rectum just sounds difficult and unpleasant. For one, my butthole is rather tight as it has never been penetrated, so I can't imagine my brown balloon knot would be accepting of any liquid visitors, if you know what I mean. Another thing is if I managed to get the liquid in there, and then stood up, is it just coming right back out? Just a total mess of a concept imo. However, a caffeinesicle actually provides me with the perfect way to get an energy drink up my asshole. So, I froze a thinner than usual popsicle last night with a mixture of C4 and monster energy, and this morning at 11am, I went into my backyard and used a chair to sit on the popsicle, successfully booing it. I didn't know if I should bob up and down on it like a dildo, so l just sat there. And boy, was it COLD. I felt like I was being possessed by a frost demon. However, I felt absolutely electrified. Like my blood was made of energy drink itself. I don't know if it was the freezing cold, or the rapid absorption of caffeine through my colon, or both. This felt like adderall being mainlined into my veins."
continued from previous post: "After about 3 minutes or so, the popiscle had completely melted in my asshole. I looked around for witnesses, stood up, pulled up my pants, and went to go take a shower in case any leaked out onto my legs. It's been 3 hours since and I still feel like a thousand bucks. I feel like all my brain fog is gone and if I wanted to, I could teach myself how to do commercial real estate in like 6 hours of research. I feel like my brain is limitless. Anyway, just wanted to share with you guys. I'll probably be doing this a couple times a week now. That's about it. See ya." Comment from u/ImpactFire1021: "I need to get off this app man"

Things are happening on reddit

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jesselabilis
1 year ago

TIL that the reason lead levels in children’s blood have dropped 85% in the past thirty years is because of an unknown scientist who fought car companies to end leaded gasoline. He also removed it from paint, suggested its removal from pipes, and campaigned for the removal of lead solder from cans.

via ift.tt

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jesselabilis
1 year ago

GLaDOS: I spent some time researching common human insecurities so I might better insult you. I've discovered that physical insecurities often manifest due to feelings of envy stemming from comparing oneself to others.

GLaDOS: There are no other humans in this facility. Just you. Therefore, you lack a source of envy of which would trigger the feelings of insecurity in your tiny simple human brain.

GLaDOS: A shame, isn't it? I thought so too. Which is why I've taken it upon myself to artificially create a humanoid body for myself so that you'll have someone to envy. A female figure who is taller than you, more mature than you and has larger breasts than you. Gaze upon my new form of perfection and shrink away in your envy. You'll never achieve this level of perfectio- why are you smiling at me like that. Stop it.

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jesselabilis
1 year ago

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

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