Yummy "red" Wine.

Yummy "red" wine.

actually i didn't respond to your message bc i love you and wish you the best in life and you're my friend forever and i love you so much

by reblogging this post you affirm that your ask box is a trick or treating house this halloween. the porch light is on, there's pumpkins, there's candy. let's all go to each other's blogs and get treats🖤

It's been a week... Since I started Johnnytober. Normally I wouldn't be saying how many days have passed but with the fact I without YouTube it's worth it because I don't have much to do.

I mean, god I do have a lot I can do but I simply... Hate myself. There's no other words. When I stuck in place all I can think is ending it all.

Fucking hell, I going to have to block certain tags on my tumblr because I see "men don't interact" about how much men are vile creatures and I think "well there's a way to resolve at least one of this issues and it's with a bullet to my head." Jesus, is not even funny anymore.

I'm volatile it seems, probably because of the depression Im carrying. I hate this bloodsucker, draining me even if I literally just breathing.

I don't know what to do. I not actually having "problems" my life is good! I mean, as better as it can be. My parents are wonderful people to me (even if they are kinda homophobic, didn't tell them the spy I am lol) I spent my day "relaxed" but still feel like I want to disappear.

I want to scream, pull my hair out, beat my head in the wall until I go unconscious. I not brave or stupid to do it, and sincerely wish I was.

I telling you all this because, well I can't say it at real life. Only thing people can give me are sweet words that don't mean anything.

...

Well, I guess that's all. Trauma dumping on social media, let's go... Eh...

Johnnytober is certainly helping me, even if it's kinda word vomiting. I don't care if it doesn't get many hearts or reblogs. I know how to get them, it's a social game where you play what everyone wants to see.

I want to write what I want to see. It's egotistical? Extremely. But fuck it, I don't care. That's what I taking this, or what's to understand. I going to continue to scream, make art by cutting my heart and letting it all here.

Thank you for the people who see what I do and interact. Thank you to the mutuals I have. Thank you.

this is actually my favorite one of these I’ve seen so far

Others times you gotta ride till you can't no more.

sometimes you gotta to take your horse to the old town road u know