A/n: A Bonus Mini Changbin For @katieraven :))) (warnings: Anxiety Mention)

a/n: a bonus mini changbin for @katieraven :))) (warnings: anxiety mention)

“hey,” a voice strikes you out of your daze and you turn your head towards changbin, blinking slowly at him. he raises a brow at you, as if expecting something, but you don’t know what it is. 

“yes?” you sound out slowly, unsure and utterly confused. 

“i asked you what you wanted to eat three times, and you didn’t answer,” he says, gentle even though it felt a little like an accusation to your swirling mind. 

“oh,” you frown, trying to remember hearing him but coming up with nothing. all that you could hear was the static running through your ears. “sorry?”

“are you okay?” he asks, leaning closer to you so he could press a hand to your shoulder. it felt good, grounding, the heavy weight of it welcome on your tired body. you sag into him, feeling utterly spent. 

“yeah?” you ask more than tell, mouth twisting in displeasure at having to answer that question - you didn’t like lying to him, but being honest about things like this was worse than pulling teeth, sometimes.

“oh,” he says, nodding in understanding as he pulls you into himself, folding you up into his arms as if you were some small thing to protect. he always knew just what you were meaning to say, even if it was the opposite. “was it something that happened, or just in general?”

you pause for a moment, a confirmation of the latter resting on your tongue but is that true? because being anxious for no reason was making you more anxious, and that was something specific. but it wasn’t what caused this, nothing did, really. but that brings you back to - 

“okay,” he drawls out, booping your forehead with his fingers, drawing you out of your own head. again. “here’s what we’re going to do. i’m going to put on mario, and we’re going to play a few rounds. and you’re not allowed to disappear into your pretty head, because if you lose more than i do, you’re buying us dinner. and if i lose, i’m buying. got it?”

“yes, mom,” you roll your eyes but lean into him a little more, trying to get your body to relax into his. you knew what he was doing, he was never the type to try and hide his helpful gestures from you. he wanted you to know exactly what his intentions were, always. it made your heart swell up just a bit that he cared that much to think these things through for you. he knew exactly what things would get you out of your own head, and getting the opportunity to beat him at mario was definitely one of those things. “get ready to get your ass kicked, loser.”

i read a fic earlier today it was absolutely heartbreaking but still beautiful can i tag you in it?

Thank you for thinking of me but please don't. I don't read sad/angsty fics :(

THIS IS SO CUTE😭😭 WHEN I SAW HIS ARM DURING THE PERFORMANCE I WAS SOO CURIOUSS turns out he injured his arm i think from boxing?? Poor Lino😭 hopefully he's fine now

Loved this, thanks for tagging me in🩷💖

thinking about pampering minho and kissing his ouchys and treating him like a princess until he feels better :((((((((

-gimmeurtmi

can i combine these two a lil because 😭 i wanna kiss him so badlyyyy

“I told you I’m fine.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Sure, now say it like you actually want me to believe it,” you scoffed.

Minho’s face drew into a scowl he swallowed his retort, just watched you rub the cream into his aching wrist. When you accidentally ever so slightly bent it in the wrong direction in the process, he hissed, but immediately straightened, trying to play it off. Dammit.

But to his surprise you didn’t gloat, didn’t give him a look that said ‘I told you so’. No, you just lifted his hand to your lips and pressed a feather-light kiss to his fingers, whispering gentlest, “sorry, baby.”

He watched you intently, how your soft lips grazed his skin, how your lashes cast gentle shadows over your cheeks, how gently you held his wrist. When you straightened up, he immediately looked away.

“You don’t have to do this, the cream smells like shit,” he murmured petulantly, his stare burning holes into his stupid achy wrist.

“I don’t care,” you said simply as you put his hand back into his own leg. Minho’s heart seized painfully in his chest when you suddenly got up and walked towards the door. Were you gonna leave? Surely not just like this, right. You’d say goodbye. You’d kiss him. He didn’t want you to leave.

None of those thoughts were formulated into a coherent thought, his mouth opening and closing stupidly as he watched you walk out. Then he heard the bathroom sink running and he breathed out a sigh of relief. His heart was still hammering in his chest. He was so not fine.

You realised something was wrong as soon as you got back to his room and closed the door behind you.

“Did you think I was just going to leave you?” you asked gently as you walked back over to him, carding your hand through his still wet hair. He grimaced. Did you also somehow learn to read his goddamn mind. Absentmindedly, he raised his head but he immediately knew he was fucked when he met your eyes, all big and soft and comforting. All the frustration bubbled over and a fat tear rolled down his cheek.

Your eyes widened and you brought your other hand to cup his cheeks and then he started crying properly.

“It hurt so bad during the performance when the bandage came off,” he mumbled, wincing when you pulled away from him.

“Shh, it’s okay, keep talking, I’ll just get the bed ready, okay?” you said with a soft kiss to the crown of his head. So he did, he kept talking as he watched you move around the room, drawing the blinds and turning off the big light and getting water from the mini fridge.

“It felt like someone was stabbing a knife into it and it made me so paranoid, like what if I was making it irreparably worse, you know. But that’s not even the worst part. I didn’t want anyone to know I was injured because I know how they get and …”

He squeezed his eyes shut. A quiet whisper of his name ripped him from his thoughts and he turned around to where you had slid into bed, patting the spot next to you. He obeyed wordlessly, crawling into the soft sheets and scooting closer into your warmth. He looked into your eyes for a second, but then threw his arm around your waist dipped his head down until it was resting in the crook of your neck. It was easier to talk like this, when he didn’t have the chance to see and overthink every one of your reactions.

“I just feel like I’ve constantly been … broken. Good for nothing,” he mumbled and his eyes started burning again. A silent tear rolled from his eyes and into the material of your shirt. One of your hands started soothingly rubbing up and down his back.

“Like, first, it was the whole thing at the VMAs, then that car accident, and now … this. And this one was all my fault as well …”

He trailed off, the hand that had been resting on your shirt slowly balling into a fist.

“And then everyone keeps telling me I seem cold – I just … I can’t do anything right,” his chest tightened and he tried to hold back a sob, but when he said the next words, his voice broke pathetically. “And my wrist really fucking hurts.”

You didn’t say anything, just brought your arms around him to cradle him into your chest and he … let go. Let go of all of the shitty feelings he had been bottling up for the last days in order to get through the performances. He still tried to hold back his sobs, but there was no holding back the tears.

After what felt like forever, his eyes finally dried up. His face felt hot and simultaneously dry and sticky from where he had been burying in the material of your shirt for so long. He wanted to pull back, to wipe the his eyes but … he probably looked like shit. A lot worse than you had ever seen him look. But his neck was aching and his cheek was wet and …

When he lifted his head he met your eyes and you were smiling at him softly, but not pityingly.

“Do you want me to get you some painkillers?” you asked gently and it took him a few seconds to process your question, the natural follow up to the last thing he said before his tears had started overflowing. This was an easy question, he could do this. He nodded. You smiled at him again and threw back the covers to leave. A primal kind of panic ripped through Minho and before he could control himself he had wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you against him with a whine. He buried his burning face in your shoulder, too embarrassed to look at you but too needy to let go.

Your whole chest shook as you chuckled.

“I just need to go to your dresser and get them, baby,” you whispered with a sweet kiss to his hair, “I’ll be back in two seconds.”

Minho pulled back only enough to pout up at you. Your eyes softened even further, something he hadn’t thought was possible. You caressed his cheek softly and he felt like if he was a cat, he would’ve started purring.

“You can count. Count to three and I’ll be back, yeah?” you chuckled and slowly extricated yourself from his arms. He leaned back and watched as you sat up, the material of your sleep shirt riding up to expose the soft skin of your waist. He shivered at the absence of your warmth.

He briefly considered just counting very fast, but he the thought of the kind of bickering that would lead to was enough to make his bones ache with tiredness.

So he counted. One. You got up and walked to the dresser. Two. You opened the top drawer and rooted around until you found the painkillers. Three. You skipped back the bed in a hurry and dove under the covers with a giggle.

“See?” you said breathlessly, triumphantly, eyes sparkling in the dim light as you gave him a giddy smile, and he couldn’t help the matching one pulling at his own lips. You held the medicine out to him.

“Take one and we can cuddle.”

He didn’t even nod, just took one of the pills and washed it down with water. When he turned back, you opened your arms for him and he slid back into your warm embrace, his head coming to rest on your chest. Usually he was the one cuddling you and he wondered if this is how you always felt. So safe and sheltered and … happy.

Your hand returned to his his head, tangling into his hair, gently scratching at his scalp. The other was rubbing up and down the arm he had slung over your waist.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk about it,” you started and he stiffened slightly. Truth be told he didn’t know what he wanted, but the thought of the outside world made him bury himself deeper into the comforting warmth of your body.

“But I want to say: I think you’re being very hard on yourself, much harder than you would be on anyone else.”

You were probably right.

“Like, if Jisung or Jeongin were in your position, would you say they could never do anything right? Would you tell them it was their fault?”

Minho scoffed, his fingers slipping under the fabric of your shirt, finding the soft warmth of your skin. His eyes were growing heavy, exhaustion pulling at his bones.

“Of course not, these things just happen,” he mumbled and then sighed. Fuck, you were right.

You just hummed, but didn’t say anything else, dragging your fingertips through his hair and tangling your legs with his.

Minho listened to your heartbeat until it evened out and only then did he pull back enough to look into your eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispered and you gave him another sweet smile, rubbing your nose against his gently. He tipped his chin forward and pressed his lips to yours, kissing you gently, reverently, gratefully.

“Always.”

Minho kissed your lips again before he tucked his head back into your neck.

His eyes fluttered shut and he fell into a dreamless sleep.

I'm fine, I swear🥲👊 I totally did not have a breajdown and I totally did not cry my eyes out. I'M FINE-😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭This is super good, and super sad😭

Calling my loves to read(be prepared yall😭): @kaciidubs @anyhow-everything @pearbunny @hyunniesgirl @sweetracha @weareapackofstrays @its-hannjisung @moonjxsung

sing for you. astronaut!hyunjin x reader ft. kkami. angst.

“hello, 119, how may I assist you?”

“hi, this is apollo 4419,” astronaut!hyunjin replied, feeling relieved that the spaceship was finally able to get in contact with someone. “is this NASA?”

“unfortunately no, this is the seoul emergency department. We’re having satellite issues and all the calls are getting mixed up. Where are you calling from?” the lady asked in concern

“from space,” hyunjin chuckles. “yeah i’m not surprised,” hyunjin knew the exact reasons the chaos. “things aren’t looking good from up here either.”

“would you like me to put down the call so you can contact NASA?“

“no!” hyunjin half-shouted in fear. “i mean, no, please. just stay on the line,” hyunjin begged not wanting to risk anything.

hyunjin was the only one left on his spaceship as the rest of his crew have unfortunately been affected by spaceship’s defect. he was desperate and did not want to die alone.

“yes, sir,” the lady replied as calmly as possible despite the chaos going on at the department. “is there anything i can help you with?”

“not unless you can fix the spaceship from down there,” hyunjin chuckles as he hears the chaos in the background.

this immediately hinted the lady that there was something wrong with the spaceship and felt her heart broke. “i’m so sorry sir.”

hyunjin sighed softly before requesting a favour, “actually, could you help me with one last thing?”

“anything sir, the lady replied, feeling a little relieve that she was able to fulfil hyunjin’s wishes.

as y/n was ideally resting on the couch with kkami on her lap, the mobile phone of her shared apartment with hyunjin rang.

y/n groans at the sound, and gently sets kkami down on the floor and headed for the phone.

“hello?” y/n answered trying not to sound as awkward as possible.

“hello maam, i am calling from the seoul emergency department. i have someone on the line for you,” the lady inform y/n before connecting it to hyunjin’s line.

“hey darling,” hyunjin greeted the love of his life with a gentle smile on his face, feeling relieved even though he couldn’t see her face.

“h-hyunjin!? are you calling from space?” y/n asked in surprised. she was so happy to hear his voice after not hearing it for weeks. “oh my god! how is the view from up there? did you find any aliens!?”

hyunjin chuckled at her questions. he was glad that she was still her cheerful self. “no aliens yet, and the view isn’t very pretty,” hyunjin responded honestly, but did not want y/n to know how bad the situation was. “cause you’re not here.”

“eww, you’re chessy,” y/n fake cringed and laughed at his words. “i miss you.”

“i miss you too, darling.” hyunjin chuckled at y/n’s voice as he could picture her face. “listen, y/n, i don’t have much time-“

“what? what do you mean?” y/n asked in confusion, not entirely getting the hint.

“do you remember the time we went stargazing and i told you that your eyes had all the stars in it?”

“yeah, it was very sweet, but also really cringing,” y/n chuckled.

“well, they still do,” hyunjin teased a little. “you need to put them back in space.” this

made y/n playfully roll her eyes and giggle. “and remember the time we talked about everything and anything?”

“yeah, you still remember?”

“i never forgot about it,” hyunjin answered. “how about the the password to my laptop and our safe? still remember that?”

“of course,” y/n responded confidently yet confused. “why are you asking me that?”

“login into my laptop later and open the folder with your name on it, okay?” hyunjin avoided y/n’s question. “everything you need will be in the folder. the safe has the rest of the items you’ll need, and-”

“hyunjin,” y/n stopped him as she started sensing the unstable breathing coming from him and the sudden talk about his laptop and safe. “what’s going on?”

hyunjin sighs in defeat. “well, my time in space got extended to a much longer time. longer than everyone expected.”

y/n felt her heart sank at hyunjin’s words, finally catching on to what was going on. “are you alone?” y/n asked as she was worried for rest of his crew, who are also close friends of theirs.

“yeah,” hyunjin replied sadly.

“oh,” y/n’s voice crew soft. “so, all of you are going to be up there for a long time?”

hyunjin forced a smile before responding. “yeah.”

a tear fell from y/n’s eyes as very short silence was filled.

“go do “everything and anything” we talked about that night, okay? bring your best friends and kkami along. i know you don’t like going out alone. make sure you take care of yourself and kkami. don’t worry about the place and all that. just open the folder later, okay? um, don’t forget to always drink water! if you miss me, just look up at the sky and i’ll be waving right back at you from up here-“

“hyunjin...” y/n fell onto her knees, feeling extremely devastated. kkami immediately came towards her and rested his head on her knees. “please- i just- i just- hyunjin,” tears started falling down non-stop.

“y/n, my darling, i love you so much. your smile, hugs, kisses. everything. i love everything about you. more than words can explain. you make me the happiest man in the universe and i am so thankful to have met you. it was always you and will always be you.”

y/n reached the point where she was speechless and her silent cries did not go unnoticed by kkami, who started wailing. hyunjin’s heart broke as he heard kkami’s wailing and guessed that y/n was crying as kkami only did so when y/n was upset.

“my darling, my love, don’t cry, okay? your future is still so bright and you’ll walk on the most flowery path. stay strong for me, okay?”

“okay,” y/n whispered loud enough for hyunjin to hear.

“good girl,” hyunjin praised. “can you do one thing for me?” hyunjin asked, knowing that he his time will be up soon.

“anything,” y/n responded.

“can you sing for me?”

“sing?”

“y-yeah,” hyunjin chuckled. “i know i usually sing for you, but i really love your voice. especially when you sing. can you sing one song for me? please?”

“what song do you want?” y/n asked, not wanting to disappoint hyunjin.

“anything,” hyunjin replied, eager to listen.

without another thought, y/n immediately sang their favourite song.

fly me to the moon, and let me play, among the star

it wasn’t as nice as y/n usually sang because of how devastated she was. but for hyunjin, it was more than enough.

let me see what spring is like on, Jupiter and Mars. in other words, hold my hand...in other words, darling kiss me.

hyunjin smiled at y/n voice as he slowly let go of the handle that prevented him from floating aways

feel my heart with song, and let me sing forevermore. you are all i long for, all i worship and adore. in other words, please be true...in other words, i love you.

hyunjin’s eyes slowly closed to y/n’s humming as he pictured the time when y/n first sang this song for him and he felt like he fell in love with her all over again.

feel my heart with song, and let me sing forevermore. you are all i long for, all i worship and adore. in other words, please be true...in other words...in other words...in other words, hwang hyunjin, i love you.

although y/n could no longer hear him because he was not close to the speaker, hyunjin softly whispered “i love you too, y/f/n, always.” before taking his last breath.

the lady who listened to the entire conversation tried her best to comfort y/n, who began to have a full breakdown when she no longer heard hyunjin’s voice.

I relate- a Hometown Cha Cha Cha life is all I need🥲 I need a bf like Chief Hong and a good job like Ms. Dentist😵‍💫😵‍💫

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

Hi hun!

A perm tag list is basically a list of people I tag for every post

Like tonight, I'll be uploading a mommy headcannon for Han

When it's posted I can tag you!

Xoxo

🍑

OH!! Okay! Thanks for adding me😊💞