Job-ross-the-second - Job

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

So one of those batfam interferes with a cult ritual where the cult is offering/sacrificing a bride to the King of the Dead to gain his favor but something happens and a batkid ends up in the ritual circle instead stories BUT make it funny

BATFAM AFTER A TIRELESS WEEK OF FIGURING OUT HOW TO GET JASON (Jason? idk we'll go with Jason for this blub) BACK

THE ROOM FLOODS WITH LIGHT AND JASON IS REVEALED IN THE CIRCLE

Jason: ah! What the hell guys?!

Nightwing: we brought you home- what are you wearing

Jason, in beach clothes holding a ectoplasm icee in one hand and his sunglasses in the other while being noticeably tanner and with a giant gemstone ring on his finger: clothes. Why the hell did you guys bring me back?! I was enjoying my vacation

Robin: vacation? You were abducted by a supernatural force for the purposes of a forced marriage to a monstrous entity.

Red Robin: who was it by the way? Hades? Satan?

Jason: Danny.

Jason: *takes loud sip of icee*

Jason: my fiancé's name is Danny but his "ruling name" or whatever is High King Phantom. He's the ghost king.

Batman: that is a more obscure diety than we expected. Did you discover how to break the marriage contract?

Jason: break the marriage contract? Why would I want to do that?!

Robin: because you were abducted.

Jason: yeah but then he cured my pit rage and he's a absolute sweetheart and funny. Now send me back. This is why none of you were invited to my bachelor party which you so rudely kidnapped me from

Batman: no.

Jason: no? Im getting married in two days and none of you are blowing this for me. Send me back or I wont give you any favors once I become queen or consort or whatever I'll be. Let me live out my shitty romance novel dreams

Dp x DC prompt

Damian and Tim are in a League of Shadows base, preparing to capture and question a guard to find out more information they were lacking when a Bruce Adoption Bait of a teen walks in, yells "Hell yeah they got a pool!" and immediately dives into the Lazarus pits in front of them. Tim and Damian are horrified. How did this teen get in? Why did he just kill himself? Why did he think the pit was a pool? Why was he hot?

Dp x dc prompt

Pit rage isn’t a thing. What actually happens is that a dip in the Lazarus pit forms a temporary ghost core. These cores tho r that of a baby ghost that doesn’t know how to deal with its big feelings which when combined with the trauma of dying and all that leads to murderous tantrums.

Normally with the lack of ectoplasm the core will eventually fade and the tantrums with it but when it comes to Jason it didn’t. Probably having something to do with the way he came back or how long he was dead but doesn’t matter for whatever reason Jason’s core is there to stay. Now over time his cores gotten better at dealing with the big feels™ but it’s still a toddler that doesn’t know what it’s doing.

Enter GK!danny who rans into Jason while in Gotham and is just immediately like- A BABY!!!

And Jason upon seeing Danny is overcome by the need to throw hands (bc ghost socialise threw fighting) and has never dealt with these Big Feels™ so can’t stop himself.

Danny thinks it’s adorable and fights back until the cops r called at which point he’s like- ok bud, I gotta go. I promise we can play again soon- ends the fight then just walks away leaving a very confused Jason who is strangely really sad that the fight is over

Cut to later when the inter Batfam is trying to work out who this guy is and what has he done to Jason??? He’s so sad now??? Why does he miss the random guy he got into a street fight with???