He Wants To Play UNO

He wants to play UNO

I've acquired a creature that stares at you no matter which direction you look at it from

Supervised Machine Learning

Ya es la época ✨

Step into the unknown 🍂

idk I was tired, bored and watching SU lately-

In theory, you understand that the human body is a bunch of electrical impulses running through a pile of organs, and that it's not that different from how technology works (a bunch of electrical impulses running through a pile of microchips and metal).

In practice though, in practice you're not sure how you've ended up like this.

"Oww..." Stupid fucking animatronics, stupid fucking Moon messing with you while you're trying to change out a flickering bulb. Maintenance isn't even part of your job description, but the STAFF bots can't reach this high and seriously, fuck management and fuck Moon.

At least you seem to be in one piece. Your mind is racing, panicking, and you sit up from where you fell, rubbing at your face. Clang. What? You pat your face, hearing bells, and definitely not feeling a human face. You're not even sure if you're feeling anything at all. There's pressure, but no real sensation beyond that touch.

You open your eyes and immediately fall back. As if that would let you escape the HUD overlaid on the entirely too bright nightscape around you. What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

There's a groan and your head jerks towards the ladder. It'd fallen in the explosion, and there's a person laying with their legs tangled in the metal. Wearing a security guard uniform. And the hair is a familiar color. The HUD lights up, helpfully identifying the figure as they roll onto their back, blood smeared over their face. It's your name.

"What happened?" Your voice too, as the figure pushes themselves up. They stop like you did, and you watch as it takes in the very human hand they were balancing themselves on. You look down, seeing long, delicate blue and gray fingers instead of your own flesh and blood. Bells tied to your wrist ring gently as your non-existent gut drops. "What in Fazbear..."

A hand grabs your wrist, your hand, Moon's wrist, what is happening, and you're jerked closer to your own face. You look furious despite the blood, and your HUD gives you the less than helpful information that the security guard has a potentially broken nose and a large laceration just under their hairline. "What did you do to me?" Moon growls in your voice.

"What did I do?" Moon's voice trips you up and you fall silent, desperately trying to process how you could speak without breathing and you weren't breathing holy fuck

There is too much information flitting through your mind all at once and you are still being bombarded with the fact your body is injured. Your body, the meat and guts one.

"Yes what did you -- ow!" Moon lets you go to press a hand to his eye. The blood had finally gotten to it, and you wince in sympathy. "I'm bleeding."

"Well yeah," you say, and you're definitely not thinking about how you're talking. "You... I... You fell ten feet off a ladder. You're lucky you didn't break a leg."

"That is not what I'm talking about. Why are you in my body? Where's Sun?"

Oh, he's right. Where is Sun? The thought brings up a lot of information, from the actual star in the galaxy to an old set of programs from the theater, but there's no Sun in your head.

"He has to be in there." Moon is either reading your mind or has decided that you're especially stupid now that you're trapped in his body. Either way, he's talking and standing, a little wobbly when all the blood that's left through his head decides not to miraculously reappear. "Stand up. I'm not dragging you."

"How?" slips out before you can catch it. Moon laughs, and it sounds mean coming from your throat. You want to swallow or swat at him or both, but you can't do the former and just barely manage to avoid the latter. You manage to stand and follow, feeling rather tall. Is this how it felt to not be the shortest person in the room? It's kinda nice.

"Go," Moon orders when you stop just outside the daycare. "We are bringing Sun out. He'll know what to do." He shoves at you, smearing blood against the heavy material of your pants. It's smeared over his face as well, and he looks pale under the mess.

"Maybe you should sit. You've lost a lot of blood." Unbidden, inventory of the daycare comes up in your mind, helpfully informing you of the first aid kit and apple juice tucked away from curious little hands. "I can... Clean you up?"

"No. Sun." Moon shoves you inside with all his strength, and you stumble forward, tripping over the upturned ends of your slippers. Moon slaps the wall behind you and the lights of the daycare flicker to life.

The change is uncomfortable, like someone is scratching at a chalkboard inside your mind. You drop to your knees, groaning as Moon's hat retracts, Sun's rays unsheathing. You want to close your eyes but you can't. You have no eyelids, no easy escape away from reality. And when the change stops, you find a new set of instructions thrumming just under your conscious thought, all the tasks and lists and other things about running the daycare at peak efficiency and with the cheapest labor possible.

But Sun isn't there.

"Sunny?" Moon's words falter in your voice, and when you look his way, you can see the fear in his face. Of course. Moon wouldn't be used to having a face that could emote. Something flickers in your mind. Sympathy? No, more likely it's some part of Sun's coding urging you to ease a human's pain.

"Not here," you say, and there is a tiny amount of satisfaction at seeing his face fall. "Are you sure he didn't follow you into my body?"

"I don't heaf him," Moon says, but you roll your eyes. Or. You think you do. Sun doesn't have pupils or irises. Maybe that's been taken from you too.

"He doesn't come out in the dark." You grab Moon by the front of your shirt and drag him out of the shadows as he gives the most undignified yell.

You toss him directly under one of the lights, flinching as he doesn't catch himself and instead goes rolling across the hard rubber mats. Okay, so you are strong like this. Probably shouldn't be such a surprise. Still, it is just a little funny watching your body rag doll around. You just hope it won't hurt anymore once you're back in it.

"You good?" You ask, squatting next to your body. You pick up a wrist, and your HUD changes to reflect the heart rate of your body. It's pounding away in there, so Moon is still clearly alive. You roll him over, watching as he blinks blearily in the light. "Hello?"

"Hello," he says, shielding his eyes from the light as he sits up. He blinks, adjusting to the change, before staring at his hand. He flips it over, staring at his palm, then back again before grabbing at his clothes. "Moony, what did you do?" He asks and. Ah.

"Sun," you say with a sigh, and fall back onto your animatronic ass. Oh, right. You'd been squatting. "Moon was looking for you. Guess you're in there with him."

"What's happened? Why are you me? Why am --- am I bleeding?" He touches the tacky blood matt that's become of your eyebrow, recoiling in disgust and fear. He turns wide, wide eyes to you. You grimace. You recognize that look.

"I don't know," you say flatly. "I was on a ladder changing out one of the lights near the arcade when Moon decided to be a little shirt and got us both electrocuted. I woke up like this."

"Oh." Sun frowns and closes his eyes, leaving you to wonder what he was trying to do. Whatever it was, it wasn't working, and when he rubbed at his face, he flinched. "Can you help with this?" Sun asks, gesturing vaguely to the cut.

"I don't---"

"It's in your programming," Sun said, standing with more grace than you or Moon have managed this far. "Just access the file and you'll be able to stitch this closed."

"I'm sorry. You want me to stitch my own face shut?" You trail after him as he goes to the cabinet and pulls out the first aid kit.

"it's just a simple task. No more difficult than sewing a ripped seam back together." He hands you the kit, trying to sit in a kid sized chair before giving up and sitting on the table (visibly uncomfortable) instead.

"Just a simple task," you grumble at the kit, opening it with one hand. You don't have to ask how to retrieve a file at least. When you pick up a needle, you're bombarded with different methods of sewing a human's skin back together. To put it inelegantly.

Sun waits for you, leg bouncing rapidfire even as you kneel. You grab his knee and squeeze until he legs out a squeak of discomfort. "Stop that. I'm not going to poke out my own eye because you're anxious."

"Sorry." Pause. "Sorry," he repeats, more softly.

You don't reply, needing to focus on the directions that are bypassing conscious thought into action that your body takes while you scramble to keep up. You clean the wound, ignoring as Sun hisses in surprised pain, then pinch the wound shut. The needle is pre-threaded and sterile, and you make surprisingly small, neat stitches with the black thread, snapping it off and dropping the needle back into the box to dispose of later. You only need a small bandage to cover the stitching and then... You're done.

"Well shirt." You cock your head, confused. "Shirt. Fazbear. Birch." You pull at your faceplate, like you can physically drag the words out of your mouth. "Why the Fazbear can't I say shirt?"

"Bad language is prohibited in the daycare." Sun sounds tired, and when you glare at him, he is poking at the bandage. You grab his hand and force it down. That damned leg starts bouncing again.

"Okay fine. How do we switch back?" Sun stares at you. You stare back. "Well?"

"How would I know that?" Sun asks and you sigh, going to run a hand through your hair. You hit a ray instead. "Do you see anything in your programming that can help?"

"I can't see shirt." If you could, you would rip out this stupid censoring first. "Moon said you would know."

"Well, I don't. And this isn't good. The kids will be here in... in..." There's no clock in the daycare and you watch as Sun realizes that he doesn't have his programming anymore. No internal clock. No database of information that enabled you to sew your own flesh shut. He jumps up and all but runs to the security desk. You follow after, watching as he catches himself, freezing before he could reach for the phone.

"What?"

"I'm not supposed to go behind the security desk."

You snort, shaking your head as you reach past him and stop, hand frozen. With a frown, you try to push past, but it's like shoving against a wall. There's no movement. Sun is watching and he slowly reaches past you, hand shaking as he pulls the phone display over.

"This is Fazbear stupid," you grumble, letting your hand drop.

"The kids are going to be here in an hour!" Sun is on a completely different level, and he turns to run and do something, no idea what, because he promptly trips over your own shoelaces. And of course he doesn't try to catch himself. If your nose isn't broken by the end of the night, you're going to be shocked.

With a sigh, you go and pick him up with a grip on the back of his shirt. "Okay, we've got an hour. It's time to learn some human 101 so you don't get my body killed before we can fix this tonight."

---

Okay anyway, this is why I sent you the ask @pillowspace. I think I'm going to open my askbox to prompts too because holy shit I felt my blood pressure drop while writing this.

I also used The Good Place curse substitutions except for Fazbear cause I think they did it best and also FE wouldn't pass up a chance for free promotion.