My Name Is Craig Tucker. Last Week Was My Birthday, My Grandma Gave Me A Check For 100 Dollars. I Was

My name is craig Tucker. Last week was my birthday, my grandma gave me a check for 100 dollars. I was so happy. But then, 4 kids from my school came to my house, and said I should invest in becoming a Peruvian flute band. They promised i would double my money in one afternoon but the government arrested us, along with all the peruvian flute bands, and took us to an internment camp in miami. We begged to go home but the government told us they were sending us to peru. That's why I am now in peru. If I die let it be known that it is because four guys who I don’t even like from school lied to me and took my birthday money

everybody has been talking about how fearful they are for mariah carey's unthawing but I am scared for this guy to come.

Moby!!!!! :3

i don't even know this cat, my neighbors said his name is Moby tho.

His meow is so cute tho it sounds like he smokes 5 packs a day

fucking bnuuy

super duper mega yes (I listened to it on loop for like an hour)

all jokes aside buddy holly is a good song I like how it sounds

i love jack stauber so much, I love opal, I love Shop: a pop opera, I love every single one of his albums, I would pay 20$ to see what goes on in this man's brain.

also not so mini mini opal rant below (tw child neglect and abuse, also smoking)

FUCK I LOVE OPAL SO MUCH. so basically if you haven't watched it GO WATCH IT PLS and if you have, RAHHH. I've watched it about 7 times now so like over an hour of my life spent on it + analyzation videos so like another hour added. But it starts with this girl is eating with her family, she is given a burger, and then she dances with it, never even biting it, until her attention is drawn to a weird house across the street, her family says to not go there, and then tells her to go sleep. She sneaks out of her seemingly perfect house at night to go check a house across the street out because the top window of the house is calling out to her. So she goes into the house tiptoeing cause it isn't her house, until this man talks to her asking if it is Claire and also asking her to bring him his cigarettes telling her to not hide them again, Opal looks really scared as the man starts coughing blood saying he wish he could breath, breaking into a song about how it looks so easy to breathe on tv, and how he uses smoking and tv to cope with his poor health.(random but somewhat important detail, the man is old and seemingly blind) After his song he realizes that the girl isn't Claire and starts slowly chasing her, then while trying to escape she runs into this one room with a guy sitting in front of a bunch of mirrors talking to himself about how great he is and then re-adjusting his mirrors over and over so there is no way of seeing opal's face while talking to opal, saying how her outfit would look so good on him, and then just randomly insulting her ankles. You can see that he has endured some traumatic event that makes him obsessed with himself. Then he breaks into THE BEST SONG OF THE WHOLE THING, talking about his insecurities and how he is trying to make himself perfect. after he finishes the old man catches up to opal but then she runs to the next room, close to the attic that was calling to her but then this lady who was clearly drunk grabs opal's ankle and tells her how she feels terrible for everything, she almost says for everything that she's done but she stuttered and stopped before she said anything. She then sings about how she needs a little girl to comfort her and basically be her therapist, basically flipping the mother daughter relationship. Opal finally breaks free from the lady's grip running to the attic locking herself in the attic as the adults bang at her door. She looks outside the window and looks at where her house would be but all she sees is a billboard ad from a burger place with her "family" surrounding a kid holding a burger. She falls on her knees, crying. trying to escape her reality, we then fade to the start again. ok now time for analyzation! (this is the longest post I've done)

So basically Opal's name isn't really Opal, it's Claire, she changed her name because Claire reminds her about her family. The guy in the mirror is beloved to have been beaten by the mother in the attic, messing with his appearance, which is why he is so obsessed with appearance, because he knows that he will never look the same again. Opal is also heavily malnourished because if you compare her to the child in the ad with her family, she is more scrunched up. which makes sense because everyone in the family is too busy with themselves or not fit to care for her.

there is some other stuff but I'm tired of typing. thanks for reading my rant abt my current hyperfixation <3