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Ranpo Edogawa Ramble

Also dedicated to @minasfwoopyponytail, this lil short piece is in connection with this fic.

Ranpo, whose love language is words of affirmation, and even more your words of affirmation, because he knows that when you say it, you mean it. Ranpo, who knows he’s the best detective around but has no idea if he’s even a semi-decent boyfriend, who’s confident as all hell when he’s doing literally anything else, but can get insecure when he’s dating you, who knows that when you say to him that you love him, that you want him, that you’ll never leave him, that you chose him because it has only ever been him and will only ever be him, that you’re telling the truth. 

Ranpo, who is always watching, who is always observing, who subconsciously notices every little detail about every little thing even if he doesn’t have his glasses on, who never takes people at face value because he knows the lies and the malice they can bring with them, now suddenly finds himself relaxed around you, suddenly finds that he’s only looking at you because he wants to look at you, because he likes to look at you, because he’s not worried about what he’ll discover when he looks at you, because he trusts you, because he knows you’re good, because he knows you’re his, because you tell him you’re his and he believes you. Because if he ever doesn’t believe you, you’ll tell him until he does. And he starts to believe you more and more often.

Ranpo, sweet, loyal Ranpo, who knew he had found a home in the Detective Agency, who knows what good is when he sees it, who knows how good you are when he sees you, who will never ever leave you because he will never ever let go of the things he holds precious to him, who doesn’t know how to fight but will fight as hard as he can as best as he can with whatever tools he can, just to keep you, just to protect you.

ranpo number one desirable babygirl in the area

Hey, you! This is your daily reminder to stay alive!

If we lost you, we'd lose all the amazing things you could create, too. Look at your hands. They could be used for so many purposes. Not only harm-- I believe you can make something meaningful. Even if you don't think you can make anything special, I believe you deserve to keep living. I believe you are important. You are important to me.

When my depression was at its worst, I took to creating. I started writing. It wasn't particularly good, but it gave me a reason to keep going. "If I haven't finished my poetry, and I die, my parents will throw it away," I told myself, and I wrote another poem. It wasn't an instant cure, but it got my feelings of gender confusion, depression, and fear out of my brain and onto the page, and it quieted my intrusive thoughts.

Now, I look back on them and see how much it helped me to pull through a really dark time in my life. They aren't masterpieces, but they're a sign I was fighting so hard to give myself purpose-- and it worked. I made things to explain how I felt, and it actually helpd a lot.

Now, I have my comic. People want to learn more, and care about my creations, and so I keep fighting, for all of you.

Seeing you all happy and theorizing and inspired by my creations helps me keep going.

I know not everyone is the creative sort, so this may not be the best coping mechanism for all who see this, but I advise you to at least try. Just take what's inside you and pour it onto the page. If that doesn't help, may I suggest drawing on your arms and legs with sharpie? It helped me deal with SH and get through bad episodes.

I love you platonically.

--Ellis

”match my freak” match my melancholy. be nostalgic about a past you weren’t even that happy in. find something to be haunted about throughout every second of your day

Why do you need worldly things to define you? Why do you need a rank or a status to tell others who you are? Why concern yourself with the capricious opinions of others who are less impressed with who you really are and more impressed by the carefully crafted image you present to them - an image that is entirely surface with no inherent value? Take away the things and the status and see who notices you.