This Post's Hypothetical By Itself Is Already Ridiculous But The Thing That Gets Me Is How The Wording

this post's hypothetical by itself is already ridiculous but the thing that gets me is how the wording implies two very funny things that become funnier in tandem

1. "Accidentally, the pitcher tosses a Christian baby" means this is a mistake on the pitcher's part. i imagine the pitcher is breastfeeding on the field and they pitch and they look down at their hands and they see the ball still in the glove and they go "fuck"

2. hitting the baby will still win you the game

The rummyposting icon, the SG-029 DSDSDLEMEMSNIFFSOMEOFTHATSHITMANN, has been born

You are trapped in an elevator with the person on your lockscreen. Who is it?

Reblog with who you get stuck with~

reblog if you think not liking physical touch is "valid" and if someone tell you they don't like being touched you will stop immediately and not tell them a hug isn't gonna kill them and then disrespect their boundaries

*grabs you with my mechanical claw* now I’ve grabbed you, with my mechanical claw!

do it in a cool way

I WILL KILL SOMEONE