Things That Have Eaten/bitten People In The Magnusverse (so Far):

Things that have eaten/bitten people in the Magnusverse (so far):

The sky

Earth

Worms

A door

Mr. Spider

A vase

Vampires

Mosquitoes

Monster pig

Father Edwin Burroughs (unwittingly)

John Haan's chicken and kebab shop customers and Mikaele Salesa's crew (unknowingly)

Mr. Bonzo

Rich people

A tape recorder

yee

Reasons why Jon Archivist is truly a character of all time:

Had the police called on him several times when he was a young child

Keeps his rib and the ashes of the season one antagonist next to his stationary drawer

Promised he wouldn’t get lost in tunnels and then immediately got lost in aforementioned tunnels

Has no clue what a joke is

Learned how remarkably easy it is to buy an ax in central London

Had to have two separate interventions

Told people his place of employment before traumatising them for life

The first character he ever said ‘I love you’ to is a cat

Allegedly participated in amdram

Watches documentaries and collects some kind of weird shit (my headcanon is Soviet Union postcards) when he’s not being a paranoid mess

Canonically looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks

Knows nothing about library science

Fell head over heels for a man that he hated until he learned he lied on his resumé

Has been referred to as Jesus or Jesus-adjacent at least twice

Asexual icon

Knows what a meme is and said “LOL” in the first episode

Rode on a merry-go-round sometime during his university days because he was in a weird place emotionally

Died for our Jonathan Sins

Is probably a computer now playing minesweeper with his boyfriend and evil 200+ year old boss

SOMEONE COME GET THEIR FUCKING DEMON CHILD

Like big brother like little brother 😆😂

my favorite thing about the "explosive ice hockey" chapter is that there is no mention whatsoever about how atem got a test tube full of explosives. there's a specific and established explanation for the heated game ring (it's a giant grill top for making festival food) but he just...pulls out the explosives from nowhere. atem. atem where did those come from