REBUKE () (DRABBLE)

REBUKE (책망) (DRABBLE)

✧.* 18+

not much to you, not much to your name. stripped bare of everything that made you normal, sane. bare naked under your nightgown, maybe that was just the way he liked it when he went to town. barely any clothes to you, let alone something to your name. maybe it was fate, the way the photo fit the frame. when you’re dealt a bad card, what’s there to do? you pray to god with your hands on your knees and he tells you, fuck it, just deal, that’s what i expect of you.

pissing on the stove just to put the fire out, it explained why the walls had started to fall apart and move about. the floors creaked and the paint had started chipping long ago, maybe that was the first card you had grown to know. mommy would tell you to put a brave face on, to put your trust in god, all of your burdens would be gone. maybe he really was there, and everything would be fine. but he wasn’t listening, maybe he was busy turning water into wine.

taehyung was there, and he managed to care. he called it brotherly love, but it wasn’t enough. you had seen him cry when he wanted to be tough. when daddy started drinking his money away, taehyung made sure he kept you at bay. he was full of love, you seemed like a leech. all you did was watch him, even when he was out of reach. he didn’t seem to mind, you were his little girl, after all. he had to protect you, you seemed so fragile, so small. every time you felt cold in the middle of a storm, you’d suck on his leg just to feel warm.

he was reckless, made a name for himself with the cops. everyone swore he was evil, but you swore he was not. those same cuffed hands kept your body warm, they kept you together when you had been torn. he was so good to you, really, only you. as long as you were good to him, he would be too. he liked his guitar, you liked ballet, but no differences mattered as long as his sister was okay. he never prayed, he just did as he pleased. so you were shocked to see him with daddy, on his knees.

mommy started praying more, it was all she knew. rotting in the bed, it was all she could do. she couldn’t move or talk, but she was still there. she had her eyes closed a lot, but you knew she aware. praying, begging, asking why she had been dealt such a card. why did he intend on making her life so hard? when her eyes were open, she watched you with a smile. her look was sympathetic, she had been doing that for a while. she loved you a lot, you knew it in your heart. you wondered if her end meant having a fresh start. something smelled rotten, and it had started to spread. nobody really noticed, maybe they were already dead.

the floor had started off cold, but warmed up with your touch. it was a constant cycle, and you weren’t left with much. it’ll be over soon, you thought, daddy's just hurt. mommy’s gone now, she’s been living in the dirt. but you looked so much like her, when he drank, he couldn’t tell. you knew it when you felt him, you could recognize the smell. you never listened to god, so you chose not to rebuke. you just let him touch you, use you until you puked.

you were never scared of god, there was no such scare. what you were terrified of was, maybe, he wasn’t even there. who would be your witness, would anybody care? would the paintings on the walls come to life, or would they continue to stare? would anybody break bread, or would they let you famish? would they, too, pray that daddy would vanish? you thought of taehyung, hoping he would hear your pleas. you thought of him some more when daddy said, “get on your knees.”

taehyung had his problems, he couldn’t get out of his head. he had made a name for himself with the feds. you didn’t care, he loved you just right. he helped you clean up when he got home that night. maybe you were too scared, maybe even in a haze. taehyung knew you had seen better days. he didn’t have to ask you what happened, he knew better. he saw the way you prayed and wished you could just leave together. you knew it would kill him, the blood that trickled down your thigh. he still caught a glimpse, but he wanted to deny. he wanted to think you had fallen and scarred, that the bruises on your knees were from praying too hard. but he knew better, and so did you. he loved you more than you ever knew.

when daddy died, he died in a rush. that was when taehyung told you to hush. “you didn't see him go, he just disappeared. he left us because he was sad mommy isn't here.” you nodded and told him it would be a secret, you pinky swore that you would keep it. he loved you, he did everything for you. it kept you warm, and it was all you knew. he managed to take away what hurt you the most, you were a parasite and he was your host. you didn’t mind it, and neither did he. he knew it was the only place he wanted to be.

the thought made his hands shake, someone hurting you. it wasn’t enough, what he had to do. red stained his hands and anger tainted his soul, the work of the devil had taken its toll. he found himself praying for you to finally be okay, for men just like daddy to be kept away. you blossomed under his love and his care, when he hugged you tight and kissed your hair. why was is unnatural, why was it wrong? if love was pure, and he had done it for so long.

this is different, you thought, your brother was never a fraud. let us love one another, for love comes from god. this time, you listened to god, and you chose not to rebuke. you just let him touch you, use you until you puked.

✧.*

Thank you for writing the way you do,ive always been mesmerized by the way you express yourself. Thank you for making what little time i have left enjoyable bcs i really cant take this life anymore and i dont know what to do

take everything this cruel life throws at you, take it until you bleed and cry. you're only human. take it even as you tell yourself you can't take it anymore, so that you can see just how much you can really take. take it until your bones grow weak and your body grows numb, because you'll still be able to take it. take it until life stops throwing, because it will. maybe not now, maybe not tomorrow, it just will. live so that you can see the day this cruel life finally leaves you alone, live so that you can see just how quiet it'll be. live so that you can discover the beauty life has to offer, i promise there's so much of it. i'll never sit here and tell you not to be weak, that others have it worse than you, i know that's the last thing you wanna hear. these words of yours are the last thing i wanna hear. fight just a little longer, if i'm wrong about this, take me with you when you go. fight until you notice the color of the sky at five in the morning, or until you perfect your cup of morning coffee, or until you laugh at strangers' arguments on the internet. the big things will tear you apart, but the little things will always put you back together. please don't give up on yourself. i would never give up on you, and i never will. i love you, you are so loved. you don't know me, i don't know you. let's fix that, message me so that we can talk. message me until you're sick of me, take all of your anger out on me and give me every inch of your pain. just talk to me, don't give up. not now, not ever, because you are loved and worthy of it.

Also 2nd question. Who is Jay Park? I though he was just a rapper who got clowned for the way he dances to Enhypen songs.

this is the funniest rhing ever im creasing oh my god. jay park was born in seattle but he's obviously korean. he was originally in the band 2pm (2008) they were a big hit back then alongside suju, shinee, 2ne1, etc. needless to say, he was kicked out of the band after he left korea, from what i remember. all because he signed a contract with another music label while he was still under jyp. fans weren't aware of this reason and proceeded to come up with rumors: getting a trainee pregnant, abusing other members, having sex with jokwon (2am), dealing drugs, laundering money, and pissing on stage. none of these are true lol. the issues really started when knetizens leaked his old myspace comments where he jokingly said that “korea is gay/koreans are gay.” that was when the real shitshow started and korea as a whole turned on him. he has since apologized for that. he created his own record label, “aomg”, in 2013. following his myspace drama, he defended an artist by the name of darko for wearing dreads, he himself also wore dreads, compared listening to kpop to cultural appropriation, compared himself to Allah swt. (astagfiruallah) in his song “mukkbang”, and made a rape joke on vine about 10 years ago. with that being said, he has apologized and grown over the years. regarding his current career, i'd say he's doing fine. he hasn't been wearing durags or mocking religion and that's definitely an improvement ig. nobody is obligated to defend or forgive or even support him, but my point was that a lot of idols have said some uneducated things, and it's important to hold them accountable, but i've seen people compare jay park to seungri and taeil which is just insane to me. then again, i'm not black so i have absolutely no say in the situation regarding him wearing durags, dreadlocks and so on, so it really varies from person to person.

missing wangae parkgae hours

busanwings was preacher too https://youtu.be/jk4doRcq1PQ?feature=shared

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 그는 너무 많은 삶을 살아서, 하나님의 말씀에 집중하지 못했어요. 그는 지민의 엉덩이에 대해 트윗하는 데 바빴기 때문이에요....

why am i just now discovering that keeho's zesty ass was a preacher im so done

predebut keeho on stan twt u will always be famous