First Of All, ME WHEN I SOB.
First of all, ME WHEN I SOB. 🛌🛌
second, bae…. YOURE CANADIAN?!?!
we'll be alright, please try again
kim minji x fem!reader ; angst, fluff
synopsis: you and minji break it off, both emotionally and physically, each pushing the other away. but the universe has other plans, bringing you two back to square one as if you were always meant to find your way back to one another.
warnings: sixth member!reader ; arguing ; pining ; reader is canadian for the plot but it's not even that important it's just for a silly tims joke and smth more ; ugh they're so in love get away ; angsty but super fluffy + heavy pining ; a lot in one ; iffy pacing imo ; have fun with this one i rly liked writing this ; wtv else i didnt mention
a/n: guys PLEAAASSSE don’t be scared of the hook and angst tag PLSGIYS i swear it’s sweet… i swear. i was smiling throughout don’t be scared… it’s not THAT bad ANYWAYS i want timmy's so bad rn... un cafe infuse froid a la vanille si vous PLAAAIIT someone send me timbits asap




“i think we should break up.”
minji’s head snaps toward you, eyes wide, an exasperated “what?” escaping her lips.
confusion flashes across her face, and for good reason. everything has been good between you two, really good—no fighting, no tension, just the usual hustle of practice and training. you’ve both always found a way to make it work, to balance everything. so why now? why are you saying this?
you can’t bring yourself to meet her gaze, your eyes focused on some spot on the floor instead, teeth worrying your bottom lip.
“we’re both training so hard,” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper. “i think we should focus on that for now.”
“but… everything is fine,” she says, a pleading note in her voice. “i don’t get it…”
truth is, you don’t want this—not at all. the idea of breaking up with her makes your chest tighten painfully. but things have gotten tougher lately, the rules stricter, your company’s expectations weighing heavily on you. being with minji would only make things harder down the line, for her and for you. you’d never want to hold her back—not her, not the person you love more than anything.
“i think it’s best for us,” you repeat, though your voice lacks conviction.
minji’s brows knit together, her eyes searching your face. “why do you get to decide this?” she argues, her voice rising slightly. “let’s just… talk it out. we can work through this, can’t we? we always work it out.”
you’ve only been together a few months, but they’ve been some of the best months of your life—of her life too, you know that. both of you are still figuring things out, still finding yourselves in the midst of all this chaos. hell, neither of you are legal adults yet, both being sixteen and clueless. but it’s minji who made you realize you’d never feel this way for anyone else, certainly not a man. she was the first girl who gave you butterflies just by smiling at you, the first whose hand you held with a racing heart, the first whose cheek you kissed, feeling your face flush with warmth.
and there’s that one memory, a core memory that replays in your mind like a favorite song—you can still feel her hands gently holding your face, the way her eyes sparkled with something pure, something deep, right before she leaned in and kissed you. your first kiss, your first everything. she’s your first love, and the thought of letting that go feels like tearing out a piece of yourself.
tearing yourself away from her would be better for her anyway, that’s what your company insisted anyway.
“please,” minji whispers, and there’s a crack in her voice that breaks you all over again. “don’t do this.”
you swallow hard, your resolve wavering. your chest feels heavy, like you’re carrying a weight you can’t bear. but you press your lips together, fighting the urge to reach out and pull her into your arms, where she belongs.
“it’s… it’s better this way,” you say, even as everything inside you screams the opposite.
minji shakes her head slowly, a tear slipping down her cheek. “it’s not,” she insists, voice breaking. “it’s not better… not for me.”
and you know, deep down, it’s not better for you either.
“minji,” you begin, voice faltering.
“don’t minji me,” she snaps, eyes fierce and determined. “we’re not breaking up.”
“we have to, don’t you get it?” your voice breaks, tears welling up as you stand in front of the entrance to her dorm, the one she always complained about, the one you’ve come to know so well. “how will we ever debut if we have these worries and burdens in the back of our minds?”
minji pauses, her features softening, but her gaze remains fixed on you. “you think i’m a burden?”
“n-no! no, minji, no.” you shake your head quickly, regretting your words the second they leave your mouth. “it’s not like that… my company’s been on my back, pushing me harder, and they might move me to another one. god, i feel like a pawn in chess or something. look, it’s just… it’s best we focus on our own paths right now.”
minji’s eyes search yours, hurt etched across her face. “we’ve always made time for each other before. what’s different this time? y/n, i love you.”
“we’re sixteen, minji,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “we’re young and… and stupid, and nothing in the future is promised.”
“well, i want you in mine. i would do anything to make sure you’re there in mine, anything.” she insists, her voice trembling, “even if you debut and i don’t, or the other way around—i want you there. i want you there always.” she steps closer, her hands coming up to rest on your shoulders, her touch warm and steady, even as your own resolve begins to crumble.
her words make your neck tense, your lip quiver. you feel the tears spill over, hot against your skin. minji moves one hand to your cheek, her thumb brushing away the tears, her gaze softening as she whispers, “i love you. i love you when i’m exhausted from practice, i love you when i’m stressed over exams, i love you when we only have a few minutes together… i love you every moment of every day. i can’t… i can’t let you go.”
you shake your head, your breath coming out in short, uneven gasps as you pull away from her touch. minji’s brows knit together, her eyes filled with concern as she watches you crumble, sees you bury your face in your hands. you take a shaky breath, wiping your tears away with the back of your hand.
“i’m sorry, minji,” you choke out, your voice heavy with emotion. “i love you, but we can’t… we can’t do this. i don’t want to talk about it anymore. you don’t need me in your life. i—” your breath hitches, your heart clenching painfully in your chest. you wonder if it’s worth it, if sacrificing what you have with her is really the way to achieve your dreams. “i don’t need you in mine right now,” you finish, your voice cracking, every word cutting through you. “we should focus on our own things.”
minji stares at you, her eyes searching yours, her heart breaking, the words slowly sinking in. a tear slips down her cheek, and she doesn’t bother to wipe it away.
you take a step back, your vision blurred with tears. “i’m sorry, minji… i’m doing this for us—for you.”
you turn away, your chest tight, and as you walk away, the sound of minji’s quiet sobs echoes in your ears, each one tearing at your heart a little more. but you don’t look back. you can’t. not now, not when every step away from her feels like losing a part of yourself.
—
it’s been a year. one long, agonizing year since you last spoke to minji. a year spent fighting the urge to look through the hidden folder on your phone filled with photos of the two of you, each image a reminder of what you lost. you’ve stopped crying every night—first every week, then every month. but the guilt, the sorrow of losing her, the love of your life, still clings to you like a shadow.
you’ve thrown yourself into training, harder than ever. it stopped being about debuting a long time ago; now it’s just a distraction, a way to drown out the ache that never seems to fade. but was it worth it, listening to the company, if the will to keep going feels like it’s slipping through your fingers?
then, one day, they pull you aside. your company tells you you’re being relocated, moved to another company that’s shown interest in you, in your potential. they say you might debut sooner. it sounds like everything you should want, so you agree, packing your bags and letting them shuttle you off to the new dorms, even if a part of you feels numb, disconnected.
when you arrive at the new building, something about it feels familiar. the hallway, the scent in the air, the way the light filters through the windows—it all makes your heart thud in your chest, unease curling in your stomach. memories you tried so hard to bury start to bubble up.
you shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts, and push open the door to your new room. it’s… not much. the walls look a little worn, there’s a fine layer of dust on the shelves, and it’s small—cramped, really. not surprising. you’re still a trainee, after all. you didn’t expect luxury.
inside, two girls turn to look at you, surprised by your sudden entrance. one is shorter, with wavy hair and a bright, warm smile, the other taller and younger-looking, with a curious expression. you manage a small, polite smile in return.
“hi, they sent me to source–”
“you must be y/n?” the girl with wavy hair interrupts, tilting her head slightly, studying you with interest as you shut the door behind you. “i’m danielle, nice to meet you.” her voice is friendly, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
“hi, nice to meet you too.” you reply, noticing the slight arch of her brows. your korean is decent, but the accent still lingers, evident enough to catch attention.
“i’m hyein,” the younger girl chimes in, a grin spreading across her face. “are you from here?”
“n-no, i’m not,” you stammer, a little caught off guard. “you could tell from my accent, huh? i’m still working on my korean. i’m fluent in english though.”
hyein glances at danielle, then back to you. she points at danielle and adds, “danielle speaks english too.”
“you do?” you ask, turning to danielle. she nods.
“yeah,” danielle says, switching to english with an easy smile. “it’s nice to have another english speaker around. two of the other trainees speak it pretty well too.” her accent is thick, australian, and it’s like a tiny piece of familiarity amidst all the change.
a small relief floods through you, just enough to calm the nerves that have been knotting your stomach all day. “oh, that’s… that’s good to know,” you say, a faint smile tugging at your lips.
“yeah,” danielle agrees, and for the first time since you arrived, you feel like maybe, just maybe, this new start won’t be as hard as you thought.
they both help you settle in, and soon you find yourself sharing a bed with hyein. it’s cramped, barely enough space for two, but it’s better than nothing. you’re grateful for their kindness. both of them seem so genuinely sweet, and you quickly learn that danielle is only a year younger than you, while hyein is much younger. she’s practically a child, literally a child, you feel a protective instinct kick in immediately. there’s a sincerity in her wide-eyed curiosity, an innocence that makes you want to look out for her, to make sure nothing ever limits her spirit.
danielle, on the other hand, is a ball of sunshine—radiating warmth and energy that makes the room feel brighter. she’s constantly smiling, her laughter infectious, and even though there’s a hint of tiredness in the way she moves, a slight slump to her shoulders, she’s still so full of life. she talks a lot, her voice light and cheerful as she shoots question after question while getting to know you. it’s hard not to be eased by her easygoing charm.
as the night wears on, they do their best to lift your spirits, sensing the nerves that still linger just beneath the surface. danielle makes a few silly jokes that make you smile despite yourself, and hyein tries to comfort you with small gestures—a reassuring pat on the arm, a soft-spoken “it’s okay, you’ll get used to it. they must’ve relocated you for a reason!” they can tell you’ve been thrown into this new situation without much warning, and they’re doing their best to make you feel welcome.
you feel a strange mixture of fear and hope—this whole thing is still so new, so uncertain. it’s unsettling to be here, to have been displaced so suddenly, but at least your new roommates are wonderful. they’re different from the people at your old company, where the atmosphere had been tense, filled with a kind of hostility that always made you feel on edge. here, there’s warmth, a sense of camaraderie you haven’t felt in a long time.
you wonder if this company will be any different. you hope it doesn’t end up ripping you apart like the last one, but for now, you find comfort in the gentle smiles and kind words of danielle and hyein. they make this unfamiliar place feel a little less lonely, a little less scary, and for tonight, that’s enough.
—
danielle shakes you and hyein awake at the crack of dawn, urging you both to get ready for training. it’s a normal routine for them, but for you, it’s the start of something new. you rush through your morning routine—skincare, a light layer of makeup, and clothes you hope are suitable for dancing. you quickly follow the two out, trailing behind as they lead you down a path toward another building, one that you assume is where all the training happens.
inside, they guide you through the hallways until you reach a room. danielle opens the door, and you’re greeted by an empty dance studio. hyein lights up at the sight, a wide grin spreading across her face. “we have some time to warm up before the other three get here,” she says, already jogging inside.
danielle steps in next, and you follow, trying to push down the nerves fluttering in your stomach. you all sit on the floor, stretching your legs, trying to loosen up and prepare for what you know will be hours of hard work. you focus on improving your flexibility, feeling the slight burn in your muscles as you push yourself further. ten minutes pass, and just as you start to feel a little more at ease, there’s a knock at the door.
the three of you turn your heads in unison, watching as the door creaks open and a girl shuffles in, rubbing her eyes like she just woke up. behind her, two more girls enter—the first is a shorter girl who yawns deeply with each step she takes, but the second girl… your heart stops dead in your chest.
kim minji.
kim fucking minji.
she catches your gaze, and both of you freeze. time seems to halt, your eyes locking onto each other in shock. minji looks just as stunned as you feel, her expression mirroring the disbelief you know is written all over your face. you can’t breathe, can’t think—your mind is spinning, and your heart feels like it’s dropped to your stomach.
before you can fully process what’s happening, a voice from the other side of the room snaps you back to reality. “you’re the new girl? nice to meet you! i’m hanni,” the shorter girl says, approaching with a friendly smile.
you force yourself to tear your eyes away from minji, swallowing hard before managing a polite smile in return. “nice to meet you, i’m y/n.”
minji, on the other hand, feels like she’s caught in a dream—or maybe a nightmare. you’re standing right there, in front of her, looking just as beautiful as you did the last time she saw you, minus the tears streaming down your face. she thought she had done pretty well moving on, pushing you aside so far in her mind so that she only thinks of you when she’s not bombarded with coursework or training—so rarely. she can’t move, can’t speak, not until danielle calls her over, breaking her from her trance. she takes a shaky breath and forces herself to join the group, her mind still reeling.
the room feels charged with tension, both of you stealing glances when you think the other isn’t looking, neither daring to say a word. it’s a strange, painful coincidence, running into each other like this. it’s almost as if cupid is playing a cruel joke, aiming to tear your heart to pieces rather than make it flutter.
and the worst part is, you just have to push on with practice like there’s no history between you two. like you don’t have memories stored up in your mind of her laugh, the way her hand fit in yours, or the way she looked at you like you were the only person in the world. both of you are still so young, but you know better than to let your feelings get in the way—not when debuting is on the line.
you take a deep breath, trying to steady your nerves as you introduce yourself to everyone again, making sure to keep your eyes anywhere but on minji. your voice is calm, your smile practiced, and you do your best to pretend that she isn’t standing just a few feet away, close enough for you to hear her breath hitch, close enough that you can almost feel the weight of her stare.
the room is filled with conversation as the girls introduce themselves back, one by one. you nod, exchange pleasantries, but every word feels heavy, like you’re walking on a tightrope above a pit of old memories and unspoken feelings. you focus on the faces in front of you, the ones you haven’t seen before, trying to absorb their names and voices — hanni, haerin, danielle, hyein, and… — anything to distract from the familiar face you know too well.
then, practice begins, and you force yourself to concentrate on learning the choreography, to commit every move to memory. the beats of the music fill the room, and you step in time, trying to mirror danielle and hanni’s movements. you stretch your arms, pivot your feet, focus on your control, and move across the floor, pretending that your ex-love-of-your-life isn’t right there, just a few steps away.
you try not to notice minji’s presence, the way her hair falls across her face when she turns, or the way she bites her lip when she’s trying to focus. you do everything you can to ignore the quickening of your heart whenever you hear her voice, sharp and clear, giving feedback to the others. you push down the memories that threaten to surface, the images of stolen kisses and whispered secrets, forcing yourself to focus on the rhythm, the steps, and the music.
but it’s hard to pretend when every glance feels loaded, every second that passes feels like an eternity. you know you’re here for a reason, to work hard, to debut, to make something of yourself, and you can’t let old feelings get in the way of that—not now, not ever. still, as you dance, you feel a pang of something deep in your chest, a longing that no amount of practice can seem to shake. not this time.
—
another year goes by, a year of slowly building bonds with the other girls and learning how to navigate around minji’s presence. the two of you have grown, mature enough to look each other in the eye, exchange a few words when necessary, but never more than that. neither of you dare to willingly interact beyond what's required.
an unspoken agreement hangs between you both: act alright in front of the others, get along enough to avoid raising questions, and move on. it’s all you can do. three hundred and sixty-five days pass, and in that time, you begin to notice more about minji, the side of her that never wavered, the side that’s still so caring towards everyone around her.
you see her helping hanni with her korean, keeping hyein motivated with endless praises, complimenting danielle on her improvements, and reassuring haerin when worries weigh on her. minji’s always been the caring type, that never changed. neither did her pretty, gummy smile, her soft eyes, the way her eyebrows furrow in concentration—everything about her that once made your heart skip a beat still lingers, still draws your attention.
it stings, realizing your feelings haven’t faded. they’re still there, buried beneath the surface, and you know they’ll remain, how could they not? it’s kim minji you’re dealing with. if you debut together, those feelings will continue to simmer, but you push them down, suppress them, because you’re the one who created the distance between you two. the tension is your fault, and you have to deal with your mistakes.
minji tries not to break, not when she sees you laughing and being carefree with the others, yet stiff and distant around her. she knows she should be angry, and she is, but not enough to hate you. you’re both just young, chasing your dreams, and if that means leaving her behind, minji will accept it. as long as you’re happy, she can let go, because no matter what, she’ll always care about you, always love you in her own quiet way.
her feelings haven’t faded either, and sometimes it shows—when you’re with the others, bringing laughter and light into the room, she remembers the way you once brought that same warmth into her life. but staying stuck in the past won’t help her, and minji knows that. she allows herself a few glances, lets her gaze linger on you when she thinks no one’s looking, before pulling herself back to reality.
there’s always that unspoken tension in the air, the weight of words never said, the feelings both of you try so hard to bury. but somehow, you manage to keep going. you get by, coexisting in the same space, neither of you willing to confront the past, but not quite able to forget it either.
—
two days until debut, and the excitement is electric.
all six of you are buzzing, nerves mixed with joy. after years of grinding, sleepless nights, and moments where the dream seemed too far, you're almost there—right on the cusp of what you've always wanted. the final practice for "attention" wraps up, and you gather in a circle, sharing words of encouragement. the rehearsal went better than any of you could have hoped for, and the anticipation of seeing the music video reactions and stepping on stage for the first time is almost too much to handle.
the energy in the room shifts once practice is over, everyone easing into a more relaxed state. danielle is sprawled out on the floor, leaning against hanni, who's leaning on hyein. haerin sits by the mirror, legs crossed, lost in her thoughts. minji, meanwhile, stands near the mirror on the other side of the room, hands on her hips, staring at her reflection. you're in the center of the room, watching her without even realizing it, your eyes tracing the curve of her back before you finally gather the nerve to approach her.
you tap her shoulder twice, and she turns around, surprise flickering across her face. "y/n?" she says softly.
"hey..." you respond, suddenly shy, your eyes flickering from her chin to her collarbone, avoiding direct eye contact. "can we talk?"
minji hesitates, glancing around the room before nodding. "alright."
you lead her out of the practice room, both of you offering quick excuses as you slip away. the walk down the hallway is quiet, the silence heavy between you. minji waits for you to say something, but you can't seem to find the words until you reach a small window in front of a couch and potted plant. the light streaming in casts a soft glow over the space, and you take a deep breath.
“we’re debuting soon,” you say, the words awkward as they leave your mouth.
“yeah,” she breathes, her gaze following yours out the window.
“it’s been my— our dream for so long,” you continue, voice quiet. “i know things have been... rough between us. and that’s on me. i wanted to apologize.”
you take a deep breath, forcing yourself to meet her eyes, even if just for a moment. “from here on out, i want to mend things between us.”
minji’s eyes widen, and you can see the surprise written all over her face. you can tell she’s about to say something, but you press on before she can interrupt.
“i’m not asking for us to go back to how things were, i know that’s wrong of me to ask, considering i… yeah.” you clarify, gulping and trying to supress a faint blush. “but i want us to be members, to get along. eventually, maybe even friends again. i just want to fix things—at least a little. i know our past was complicated, but if we’re going to debut together, i want there to be less tension. more of... a broken bridge than no bridge at all, you know?”
your words hang in the air, and minji is silent for a few moments, processing. she looks at you with an expression you can’t quite place, and for a moment, you wonder if you’ve said too much. then she speaks, her voice quiet, almost fragile.
“okay,” she says, the word barely escaping her throat. “i want that too.”
relief washes over you, and you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. a small smile tugs at your lips. “i’m glad. i hope we can talk more, catch up... maybe do something normal again.”
“something normal,” minji echoes, a hint of uncertainty in her voice, but she smiles. it’s a soft, genuine smile, one that makes your heart clench a little.
the two of you stand there, the silence between you now comfortable, not heavy like before. for the first time in what feels like forever, you’re seeing her—really seeing her. minji’s changed. she’s more mature, more thoughtful in her actions, her words. there’s a quiet authority about her now, especially as the eldest. the others look up to her, and honestly, so do you. hell, you’ve always looked up to her. she’s become even more beautiful, the soft evening light highlighting her features, giving her this glow that makes it hard to look at her for too long without feeling something stir inside you.
minji, on the other hand, is taking you in as well, a quiet smile on her lips as she does. there’s something almost poetic about this moment—you two, standing here together, about to debut in the same group. just years ago you two had met by the river, built a friendship and more, then less. regardless of what would have happened to the two of you, you’d end up together again.
to think that there was a whole time where you were both in different buildings, different spaces, hoping the other would make it. now, you’re side by side, part of the same dream, somehow together again. both of you made it.
—
after your first debut stage, adrenaline courses through your veins as the six of you rush backstage, breathless and buzzing. the girls are squealing, jumping around, and you can’t help but grin at them. then, your eyes meet minji’s across the room. her smile is genuine, proud, and it softens something inside you. you mirror her expression, holding her gaze longer than you should, until danielle tackles you with a hug so tight you feel like your ribs might cave in.
“that was amazing!” danielle beams, pulling back just enough to see your face, her eyes sparkling. “i can’t believe we just did that.”
“i know, right?” you respond in english, your body finally beginning to relax. “i’m so... overwhelmed, but in the best way.”
“so many people were cheering for you.” danielle pokes your cheek playfully, a mischievous smirk tugging at her lips. “bet it was that wink you pulled off during your ending fairy.”
your face flushes instantly, and you push her away with a groan. “stop! i was nervous! i didn’t know what else to do…”
danielle’s laughter is contagious, and soon hanni joins in, her eyes twinkling with amusement. “smooth wink, miss l/n,” she teases. “you might end up with a lot of fangirls, more than guys i bet.”
you whine, trying to push them both away, before finding refuge by haerin, who’s spaced out in her own world. she blinks at you, a bit startled as you point over to danielle, hanni, and now hyein, who’s joined in, the trio replaying your ending fairy. they giggle like kids, mocking the way you winked and bit the inside of your lip. haerin just sighs in understanding, standing beside you like a silent bodyguard.
minji watches the whole scene unfold from a distance, a small smile tugging at her lips. there’s a warmth in her chest, seeing everyone so carefree and happy after all the hard work. she’s beyond glad that you all made it, that the dream finally came true.
(even if you’re not hers anymore, you’re happy, and that’s more than enough for her. minji is grateful just to know that.)
–
the next month flies by in a blur. your ep is out, there’s promotions, interviews, a few meetings, and just so much. despite the whirlwind, every feeling from every moment sticks with you, vivid and sharp.
each track from your ep gains massive popularity, spreading across the globe with people praising the group left and right. your debut isn’t just a debut—it’s the debut of the year, and suddenly, everyone’s talking about you. you’ve become the new “it” group, with people especially stunned by hyein’s talent at such a young age. the attention is surreal, but what shocks you the most is the way people are talking about you. everywhere you look, there are comments about your visuals, your voice, and the shy praise makes your cheeks burn.
(of course, hanni and danielle never miss the chance to tease you about your ending fairies blowing up online. each one garners thousands of views, and despite the attention, you cringe at every single one.)
but while you’re in the spotlight, so is minji. social media can’t get enough of her, with countless posts gushing over her visuals. people are stunned by how effortlessly beautiful she is, how her voice carries a certain warmth and depth. all the things you’ve always admired about her are now being praised by the world. her popularity is skyrocketing, and it’s no surprise to you. minji has always been stunning, both inside and out, and now everyone else is finally seeing what you’ve known all along.
it’s bittersweet; all the gushing over minji had been your little thing before you messed it all up.
—
minji sits with the rest of the girls in the dorm complex, a new one near hybe. it’s nicer, not as cramped as the old place, and even though she still shares a bed with haerin, she loves it.
(it’s a queen sized bed instead of a full size, she’s not complaining at all.)
she’s grateful for everything, especially the upgrade from where they used to live. they’re all gathered for dinner, a celebratory meal after their debut, but as the minutes tick by, minji notices something off: you’re not there.
the rest of the girls don’t seem fazed, but minji is. she’s the oldest, the most observant, and it feels strange that a whole member is missing. she waits a few more minutes, but you still haven’t shown up.
“have any of you seen y/n?” minji asks, her voice calm but curious. “i don’t want us to eat without her. we’re a team—it doesn’t feel right.”
hanni tilts her head, looking a bit confused. “she didn’t tell you?”
“tell me what?” minji’s brows furrow slightly.
haerin chimes in. “she went out.”
“what?” minji stands up from the table, the unease settling in her stomach.
“i told her to stay,” haerin continues, “but she kept saying ‘it’s okay’ and that she’d be back in an hour or something. she seemed pretty eager to get out.”
danielle shrugs, adding casually, “yeah, she told all of us. she didn’t mention it to you?”
minji shakes her head, feeling a small twist in her chest. “no, she didn’t.” the thought of you being out alone, especially during a meal this important, doesn’t sit right with her. you’d left your wallet in haerin’s bag—minji remembers seeing it out of the corner of her eye, a little gray wallet you always carried. she hadn’t thought much of it, assuming you’d all eat together like usual.
“she said she’s not hungry,” hyein chimes in. “she said she snacked too much earlier. don’t worry, she’ll be back.”
minji hesitates, still standing while the others pick up their bowls and begin eating. she knows you too well—you’re the type to lie if it meant sparing someone from worrying about you. and if you were really hungry but said otherwise, it just made her feel worse.
she sits back down but can’t shake the unease gnawing at her. she’s never eaten this fast before, practically gulping down the side dishes and wrapping lettuce around the grilled meat without much thought. she finishes her meal quickly, but it feels empty, and the food doesn’t settle well in her stomach.
after a few bites, she stands again, slipping on a light sweater. “i don’t want y/n to miss out on this food. it’s really good,” she says, her voice light, but her eyes are serious. “i’m going to go look for her, i’ll be back soon.”
before anyone can respond, she’s out the door. she walks quickly, her steps filled with purpose. she knows where you’ll be, and it’s not long before she’s headed to the place she’s almost certain you’ve gone to.
it’s a five-minute walk to the nearest bus stop, a three-minute wait, and a ten-minute bus ride to the area she’s thinking of. the city blurs by as she stares out the window, her thoughts racing. another few minutes pass as she speedwalks from the bus stop, her legs carrying her to the familiar bench by the river, the one with the view of the bridge that glows softly in the evening light.
she remembers the first time she met you here, how you both talked for hours, the breeze gently blowing through the trees. it’s quiet now, the water rippling softly under the dimming sky, and there you are, sitting alone on the bench, looking out at the water.
(“hi, is anyone sitting here?” minji asks, her voice lighter than it is now.
she’s fifteen, fresh from a rare break in her training. she holds a small bag of honey chips in one hand and convenience store gimbap in the other—nowhere near as good as her mom’s, but enough to fill her up. her usual bench is taken, though, and she spots you sitting there. no big deal, she thinks, she’ll just sit on the other side.
you glance up, still chewing, and your eyes widen at the sight of her. “o-oh, no! here, sitting, um, no one. you can—uh—” you fumble for the words, trying to string them together. “alone, i am. with me, no one.”
minji smiles at you, easily picking up on your accent, the way you stumble through the grammar. a foreigner, she thinks. she gives you a thumbs up and takes a seat next to you, setting her bag of chips between the two of you.
you blink at her, caught off guard by how effortlessly she seems to glow. before you can say anything, she catches you staring, and offers you a chip. “want one?” she asks, holding the bag out.
“it’s okay, food, i have.” you respond, shaking your head, but she giggles softly.
“i have food,” minji gently corrects you, repeating the sentence with a small smile.
you mumble an embarrassed, “oh,” before adding shyly, “yeah, i have food.”
“your korean is really good,” minji compliments you, her tone warm. “it’s just your grammar and formality. but it’s not a big deal if we’re the same age. how old are you?”
you pause, taking a second to process her words, then respond, “fifteen. i’m fifteen.”
minji’s face lights up, her eyes crinkling with her bright smile, and you find yourself mirroring her expression. “me too!”
“really?” you say in english, then quickly switch back, clearing your throat. “really?”
minji nods, understanding your little slip, and switches to english herself. “you speak english?”
your eyes widen slightly in relief. “you speak english too?”
“i learned some here in korea,” she explains, her voice soothing and calm. “i also studied in canada for a while.”
“no way! i’m from canada.”
“really?” minji’s eyes sparkle with interest.
“yeah,” you grin, glancing out at the bridge in front of you, the soft glow of the evening lights reflecting off the water. “i’d kill for some timbits right now… i wish korea had them.”
“i get that, they were my favorites when i studied there. cheap and good.” minji chuckles softly before asking, “why are you in korea? are you studying abroad?”
your smile falters for a second, and you hesitate before answering. “well, i want to be an idol. it’s… kind of stupid. i came here alone after making it through the audition and getting scouted, but i barely know the language. i just really want to be an idol—it’s my dream.”
“it’s not stupid at all.” minji leans in a little closer, her eyes locking on yours, the sincerity in her gaze catching you off guard. “i want to be one too. i’m a trainee.”
“really?” your surprise is evident in your voice. “that makes two of us.”
“i guess it does,” minji agrees, holding the bag of chips out to you again. “i’m minji, kim minji.”
“that’s a nice name,” you say, accepting the chip this time, plopping it into your mouth. “i’m y/n, l/n y/n.”
minji grins, her eyes soft as she says, “even nicer name.” the compliment catches you off guard, and you can’t help but giggle at her words.)
you notice someone sit down next to you, catching minji’s presence in your peripheral. her voice, now deeper and more grounded than that first time you met her, cuts through the silence.
“i hope this seat isn’t taken.”
your muscles relax as you scoot over to make room for her. “it’s not.” you keep your eyes on her as she settles in beside you, looking out at the familiar view. the glasses perched on her nose somehow make her even more striking, drawing out the natural allure she’s always had. you can’t help but let your gaze linger on her profile, tracing the soft lines of her face.
before you lose yourself entirely, she breaks the silence. “you weren’t at dinner.”
“i wasn’t hungry.” you lie easily, turning back to the bridge.
minji gives you a side glance, clearly unconvinced. “right.”
“i just needed some space.” the truth slips out this time, your voice quieter. you can feel her gaze shift, now fixed on you. “how did you know i’d be here?” you ask, still staring ahead, avoiding her eyes.
“some things don’t change, y/n.” she says simply, leaning back into the bench. “i had a hunch.”
you stay quiet, the wind brushing past you both. the bench holds too much history for either of you to ignore. the same spot, years later.
(“you’re here again.” it had only been a week since your first meeting. minji had found you on the bench at nine at night, munching on fruit snacks. “thinking of timbits?”
you laughed, patting the seat next to you. “maybe.”
minji smiled as she sat down, and you handed her a piece of dried fruit without a second thought. “was it a coincidence that we ran into each other again?” she asked, sounding curious.
“maybe i’m just lucky,” you said playfully, “lucky to have run into you again.”
“lucky to run into me?” she raised an eyebrow.
“you’re the only person i can talk to like this,” you admitted. “i was hoping i’d see you again, kim minji.”
“i was kind of hoping the same, l/n y/n.”
“is that so?” you grinned, scooting closer.
“maybe.”
the two of you spent the next hour talking, shoulders nearly touching, laughter filling the space between you. the fruit snacks were long gone, but you stayed, sharing stories about trainee life and the little struggles of the week. it felt easy, natural, like you’d known each other for years.
when your phone buzzed with a notification, your face fell, and minji’s mirrored yours.
“you have to go?” her voice held a tinge of disappointment.
“yeah,” you sighed, “but let’s meet again, okay? can i get your kakao?”
“of course!” minji had jumped at the chance, quickly giving you her contact. “can we meet again next week? i’m happy i’ve made a friend like you.”
“me too,” you had said softly, “you’re like a savior. my korean is so bad…”
“i’ll help you with that,” she’d laughed, “but our time is limited.”
you hugged her then, surprising her with the closeness. she caught the faint scent of lavender on you and hesitated for only a moment before hugging you back tightly. you mumbled a quiet “thanks,” your lips brushing against her hair near her ear, making her shiver slightly.
“for what?” she had asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
“doesn’t matter.”)
you feel minji looking at you now, and in the corner of your eye, you see her scoot a little closer, her shoulder brushing against yours. it’s subtle, but the warmth from years ago flickers to life again in your chest.
“your korean is really good now,” she says after a pause, her voice soft. “especially since the first time we met.”
“i’d hope so, after three years.” you smile to yourself, trying to lighten the moment.
minji doesn’t laugh, though. instead, she turns to face you, her expression unreadable. “i was worried, you know?” she says quietly. “why did you tell everyone but me that you were leaving?”
you turn to meet her gaze, lips parting as you exhale softly. her eyes are as warm and familiar as ever. “i knew you’d make me go back inside.”
“i wouldn’t.”
“yes, you would.”
“i’d just go outside with you, y/n.”
her words settle between you, and you feel the weight of them in your chest. she’s always been too kind, too caring, even more now than when you first met. she’s still minji, but somehow better, different in ways that make you feel like you’re stuck in place, the same selfish version of yourself.
“oh.”
there’s no warning when your eyes start to sting, a subtle burn building until you feel the tears pooling. you turn away quickly, hoping to hide it before it gets worse.
“do you hate me?” your voice comes out barely above a whisper, but shaky enough to betray you. “i wouldn’t blame you.”
minji’s brows furrow. “do i what?”
“hate me.”
she pauses, studying you closely. her eyes trace the way your hands fidget restlessly in your lap—something she’s seen you do countless times before. you’ve always done it when you were anxious, whether it was before a monthly evaluation, or when you had something on your mind that you wouldn’t share with her. she notices how your teeth press into your lower lip, your foot bouncing slightly, a nervous habit she’s memorized over the years.
“y/n,” she says softly, scooting even closer until her side presses into yours. her arm wraps around your shoulders, gently pulling you into her. she holds you like she always has, her thumb brushing lightly over your arm in slow, comforting strokes. “i could never hate you.”
“i dumped you without a word,” you mutter bitterly, the words heavy on your tongue. “and then i got moved to your company, and you had to act like you were fine with me being there.”
minji stays quiet, letting you continue.
“you don’t have to pretend. i know i made it hard for you.”
“i’m not pretending,” she says, turning to look at you again. “you debuted, y/n, and that’s all i ever wanted for you. it’s your dream. you gave up so much to make it happen.” her voice softens even more, her gaze steady on you. “all i have is admiration for you. even if we’re… not together anymore, all i’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy.”
her words only make the tears spill faster, flowing freely down your cheeks as you tremble beside her. the warmth of her touch is familiar, and it brings back memories of when you were sixteen, when she’d comfort you in moments just like this, when everything felt overwhelming.
“minji, i’m sorry,” you manage to choke out, your voice cracking with the weight of it all.
“it’s okay,” she whispers, her hand still rubbing soothing circles into your shoulder.
you hate how vulnerable you feel, especially in front of her. you’ve held it together for so long, keeping your emotions locked down since the breakup, since the whirlwind of your debut. but now, sitting here next to her, it feels impossible to keep pretending. the tears keep coming, and you sniffle quietly, wiping at your cheeks with the back of your hand.
even though her arm is still around you, and part of you craves that comfort, you can’t help but feel like you don’t deserve it. the guilt presses down on you, and you gently take her hand, holding it for a brief moment to savor the warmth before carefully removing her arm from around your shoulders. you don’t meet her gaze as you do it, but minji seems to understand, not saying a word.
“you haven’t eaten yet, have you?” she asks after a beat, her voice still soft but with a hint of concern.
“i’m not that hungry,” you reply, forcing yourself to focus on anything but the heaviness in your chest.
“not even for gummy snacks?” she teases, tilting her head slightly as she watches you.
her playful tone pulls a small smile from your lips. “maybe for those…”
—
the next few months go quite normally, though it took you a bit to fully open up to minji.
you're timid and reserved, but there’s a new warmth in the way you interact with minji. the tension that kept you two apart starts to fade during the activities that come with your debut. livestreams, music video shoots, and photoshoots become regular parts of your routine, each one pulling you and minji closer.
during livestreams, you and minji share laughter, trading playful jabs as you engage with the fans. the cameras capture genuine smiles that hint at the friendship creeping up to the surface. music video filming offers another chance for you two to joke around, using humor to ease the nerves that come with performing in front of the crew.
you find comfort in those moments, the way your shoulders brush together as you wait. a cozy blanket drapes over the two of you, forcing you into close proximity. in those quiet moments, laughter spills from your lips, light and infectious, often unnoticed by the cameras. the bond between you deepens as you exchange jokes, the sound of your shared amusement weaving a thread of connection that feels both familiar and new.
photoshoots also lead to accidental closeness. whether it’s posing back-to-back or sharing a prop—or something much more heart-racing like minji putting her arm around you or your head ending up on her shoulder—you two frequently end up right next to each other, considering the fact that you two are the oldest of the bunch, and a popular duo. the laughter comes easily, her smile draws you in without fail, and soon you’re both cracking a bunch more jokes to distract from the awkwardness of the camera lenses. there was a stiffness in the curtain that separated you both, and as soon as it begins to fall the lingering chemistry starts to peek through again.
as time passes, the bond you share with minji deepens as well as with the other members. the lingering feelings you both carry remain tucked away, hidden in the trenches of your hearts and overshadowed by the growing friendship. you find some type of comfort in this new ‘normal.’ to be completely true to yourself, you’re just grateful for the connection that remind you both of the comfort you once shared.
(for the most part, it stings sometimes, mostly late at night.)
dinner and practice felt natural again too, as easy as brushing your teeth or opening the blinds in the morning. being around minji no longer held that awkward tension; instead, it was a comfort, familiar and warm. the only thing that lingered was your admiration for her, something small that colored your interactions.
(there were more nights that stung.)
at practice you’d see her greeting everyone with your favorite smile of hers, eyes crinkly and gums showing. she’d smile at you sweetly, maybe even sweeter than how she smiles at the others (but you could be delusional) then head on over to one corner to stretch.
even the others would notice this, catching you while you’re stretching, hand on one foot reaching for it as you stare at minji through the mirror.
minji is sweaty, lifting her shirt a bit to wipe remnants of the rigorous choreo and giving you a peek of her abdomen. when she brings her shirt back down, your eyes go back to her face. she’s stunning, even after all that exercise and tiring movement. her hair sticks to her a bit, and she just looks so—
hanni pushes you over subtly, making you fall over and let out a weird noise that only she catches. you give her a glare and get up.
“you’re so annoying.”
“someone’s daydreaming a lot these days.” hanni’s right, you’ve been doing that far too often.
“just got a lot on my mind.”
“you’re always staring at minji.” hanni snickers, looking over at the oldest member. “bunnies have even caught you in the youtube videos.”
“they have?”
hanni laughs, helping you up on your feet. “people are calling you guys ‘parentz’ online.”
“w-what?”
“it’s kind of cute,” she grins, “it’s actually hilarious. dani and i were laughing at some clips last night.”
you scoff in response, nudging her with your shoulder and snickering after. minji catches the interaction from afar, eyes narrowing just barely when hanni pushes you again with a little more force, and eyes narrowing just a bit more when you push her back again and laugh.
—
minji hasn’t felt like herself lately, it’s been more than a week. there’s something about you that keeps her attention, especially now that you look stunning for the comeback. in the photoshoots and music video recordings for “super shy” and “new jeans,” you radiated beauty, and minji often tried to look away, but your adorable hairstyle was impossible to resist. she found herself playing with your hair whenever hyein, danielle, or haerin joined in, but only when they distracted you. she wouldn’t dare being the first to do so.
as you began shooting for the full album—not even music video shooting or for the photobooks, just in the booth recording the actual songs—minji was pulled in like sand drawn back into the ocean. she caught sight of you just before her turn to record, attempting to sneak up and surprise you, but you surprised her instead. walking out of the studio, you wore no makeup, your hair was clipped up messily, and a snug t-shirt and sweatpants hugged your form perfectly.
(her eyes stayed on the curve of your torso for a little longer than she’d like to admit.)
minji froze for a moment, taking in how unraveled you looked; she was mesmerized.
“i didn’t think you’d be here early,” you said, your smile breaking her trance.
minji felt her stomach twist.
“wanted to surprise you,” she replied, earning a bigger smile in return. “you sound good.” she added, biting back the urge to tell you how good you looked.
“did i? ugh, i don’t know; i think i can do better. i’ll work on adjustments tomorrow.” you sighed, a familiar hint of perfectionism creeping into your voice. minji had always found it strange how you saw flaws in everything you did, despite your talents. you’ve always been like that even when you were fifteen, sixteen, and during the time you two were trainees together. “i bet you’ll do lovely, though.” you add, shaking the topic of you off.
“you think too highly of me,” minji chuckled, shaking her head. “my range is kind of iffy.”
“your voice suits anything, minji. i like how deep it is. it’s nice to the ears, really soothing.” you shrugged, glancing at the cap she wore—a dark gray with pink lettering. a small smirk tugged at your lips, almost imperceptible, but minji noticed. you pinched the brim, lifting it slightly to reveal more of her face before turning it backward and letting it sit like that on her head, a few strands of hair poking out from under to cover her eyes.
“is this new?” you ask, your surprise evident. you move the hair away from her eyes and minji swears she feels her legs wobble.
“um,” minji stammered, caught off guard and blushing slightly. “yeah.”
“it’s cute,” you mumble softly. “fits you well. i’ll see you later? what do you want for dinner? i’m cooking for us tonight.”
“uh, i, um. anything the members want—ask hyein.”
“okay.” you smiled again, walking past her but pausing to give her shoulder a gentle pat.
minji felt a rush of warmth from the brief contact, and as she stepped into the recording booth, she struggled to shake off the memory of your interaction. her mind lingered on your words and the way you looked at her, causing her to falter. the producer raised an eyebrow at her distraction, but once she shook it off, she found her rhythm, pouring her heart into the song.
—
if seeing you just after recording made her lose her balance, then just seeing you in every concept for the new album had completely swept her off her feet.
for “cool with you,” the stylists had dressed the members similarly, all with flowy white outfits. however, each members look was different. everyone looked amazing, but the stylist seemed to pay a lot of attention to you—at least in minji’s eyes— because they did you great.
your makeup wasn’t all that strong, just simple eyeshadow, light blush, and faint lip product. still, you looked ethereal. it seemed like you had jumped out of a fairytale movie, even the cameras for the “behind-the-scenes” recording had caught her staring.
minji laughs awkwardly after catching the camera in her peripheral, smiling to hide how flustered she is.
“y/n looks very pretty, doesn’t she?” minji says, “everyone does. i think the concept suits everyone well.”
the camera is still on her, she starts talking about how she feels about the shoot and the album. then minji feels someone creep up from behind, putting both hands on her shoulders and making her jump up. she turns her head slightly to meet some of your features, your gaze on the camera in front of you gives minji a good look at the side of your face.
“hi everyone!” you wave to the camera, then turn to your left, meeting minji. “hi minji.” you say softly, almost adoringly—minji might be a little insane for thinking there’s even a hint of adoration in your tone.
“hi y/n.”
“i like how they styled you,” you admit, “doesn’t she look wonderful?” you run your fingers through the hair falling down her shoulders. “your hair is so soft… ah, i love the accessories in your hair.”
minji tries her best to keep her cool, especially with the camera focused on both of you. you’re reaching out, playing with her clothes or gently tugging on strands of her hair. your fingers trace the edges of her accessories, and then, almost absentmindedly, you start to toy with her hands, admiring her nails like they’re the most fascinating thing in the world and boasting about it to your fans. at one point, your gaze locks with hers, and minji feels herself freeze for a second. your eyes are intense, filled with a warmth she can’t quite describe, something familiar and it makes her heart race. embarrassed, she laughs it off, looking away as though your compliments are nothing.
minji tries to return the favor, hoping to give you even a fraction of the feeling you’ve stirred in her. her knuckles brush lightly against your jaw, sending a soft tingle up your spine as she points out your earrings to the camera. her touch is brief, but intimate enough to make you hold your breath. then, without warning, you feel her fingers gently poking into your scalp, carefully lifting a section of your hair to admire its style. you don’t expect the sudden closeness, and your lips part slightly as heat rises to your cheeks.
she catches the change in your expression and feels a little proud, her own heart fluttering at the sight of your blush.
“i was just telling ‘bunnies’ about your look for today. i think it’s really beautiful.”
“do you?”
“mhm,” she nods, “i bet you’ll look wonderful during the choreography too. i’m excited to see the monitoring.”
“haha,” you chuckle awkwardly, “thanks.”
the staff stops recording and shoots a thumbs up to you two, which lifts a weight of your shoulders.
you two don’t share a word for a moment. you can’t really look at her for some reason, and neither can she, but thankfully hyein joins in and starts admiring the both of you.
—
day two of shooting is simply hours of posing for the photobooth. you’re set up for group shots, then some solos.
as you’re doing your solo’s, danielle pops up from behind the camera and starts throwing compliments at you.
“pretty girl~” she teases, “ooh la la~”
your stone-faced expression is replaced with amusement after the shoot ends. you let out the laughs you’ve been holding, getting up to teasingly hold onto danielle and then push her back.
“you’re so annoying,” you joke, walking away from her. “you’re so lucky i was close to finishing the shoot, i wouldn’t have been able to go on after.”
“sorry y/n-ie.” she apologizes, “i couldn’t help it.”
you roll your eyes, catching the camera that’s recording the interaction and giving it a dumbfounded look. you pout playfully before danielle jumps to your side and smiles as she hangs onto your arm, both of you giggling like idiots.
minji, who’s watching from afar, accidentally frowns. hanni notices this, considering minji is supposed to be taking a picture of her so she can update on ‘phoning.’
“what’s with the sad face?”
“what?” minji focuses on hanni again instead of the scene going on behind the younger member, readjusting her hand. “it’s just my resting face.”
“you’re not even taking the pictures properly.”
“i– i was thinking of something.” minji shrugs, “look here, let me snap a picture.”
but hanni doesn’t look back at the camera, instead turning around to catch you and danielle giggling about something. then she looks back at minji, who’s also looking in the same direction again, frown present.
“did something happen with either of them?”
“no, it’s nothing.” minji sighs, “you turned your head while i was taking the picture, let’s redo–”
“you weren’t paying attention when you took it.”
“hanni–”
“what’s going on?” hanni asks, brows creasing slightly. “is it y/n?”
“it’s nothing.” minji says firmly, putting the phone down now and giving up. “i think i’m going to go use the restroom.”
“nuh uh, no you’re not.” hanni grabs her wrist, squaring up with minji. “c’mon, what’s up?”
minji pauses, words failing her as she tries to piece together how to explain what’s been gnawing at her for weeks. how does she tell hanni that she’s jealous, jealous of the easy way you and danielle flirt without thinking twice about it? how does she admit that you’ve never really left her mind, that she still wakes up some days with her heart aching for you, despite all her efforts to push the feelings down? minji wonders how she could possibly confess that she hasn’t fallen out of love with you—not even close. in fact, she’s only fallen deeper, drawn to this new version of you that she wasn’t around to witness grow.
it hurts, more than she lets on, that she’s missed out on so much of your life. the pain of being cut off so suddenly still lingers, but at the same time, she’s proud of the sacrifices you made to debut. and it stings even more that you debuted alongside her, the constant proximity stirring up emotions she thought she had buried. she’s spent so many nights alone, thinking about you, about the two of you, wondering what went wrong and what could have been different.
hanni watches her, waiting for an answer, and minji shrugs, trying to mask the storm of emotions with something easier to swallow.
“i just feel like y/n and i have this… rift, i guess. as friends, i mean.”
“i don’t see anything wrong between you two,” hanni replies, clearly unconvinced.
“i don’t know… she’s just so relaxed with everyone else, like with danielle. they act like they’ve known each other forever, but with me, it’s different. it feels like something’s changed.”
“are you jealous?”
“no! no,” minji says quickly, shaking her head, though her voice betrays a hint of uncertainty. “it’s not that. i just don’t want anything rocky between us. everything’s fine with the others, but with her… it’s complicated.”
hanni gives her a knowing look. “if it helps, i think she looks up to you a lot. you’re both the oldest, and i feel like there’s a different kind of pressure on you two. maybe she’s just intimidated by how amazing you are. she talks about you all the time when we hang out, and i’ve seen her look at you from across the room more than once. i think you two need to talk or something.”
“she looks at me?”
hanni rolls her eyes. “is that seriously the only thing you took from that? you’re impossible.”
minji blushes, a quiet laugh escaping her, but hanni’s words stick with her. “no, but seriously,” hanni continues, “we’ve had some deep talks, a lot actually. she’s mentioned being scared that she’s not as good as you. she thinks you’re way out of her league, like you set this standard that’s hard to meet.”
minji’s quiet, the weight of hanni’s words sinking in. she glances over and catches your eye from across the room, both of you pausing for a split second before you smile. it’s a small, soft smile, the kind that leaves minji’s heart racing. she quickly looks away, flustered.
“i guess i’ll talk to her,” minji says, her voice softer now.
“you should. i mean, i’m not her, but that’s just my two cents—or won or whatever. you get what i mean.”
minji bites the inside of her lip, nodding slightly as she mulls over the thought of actually talking to you. it’s long overdue. too many things were left unsaid when you ended things, even the apology you gave her before debut didn’t cover it all. but the idea of confronting it all, of putting herself in that vulnerable position again, is terrifying.
maybe after the shoots, after the performances, after the album drops, she tells herself. more time to stall, more time to watch you from a distance, more time to get lost in her own confusion.
—
promotions aren’t done yet, but you’re close. you’ve just gotten back to korea after performing at lollapalooza, a memory that’ll surely be engraved in your mind.
as fun as it was, you’re exhausted, exhausted from everything and how often you were being put near minji.
as soon as you get back to the dorms, exhaustion pulls you straight to your bed. you barely make it onto the mattress before you collapse, landing flat on your back. your eyes are heavy from the long day of shooting for the ‘newjeans’ youtube channel, and within seconds, you drift off into sleep, your body giving in completely.
but when you wake up, you’re not in your bed anymore.
the air feels different, the scenery unfamiliar yet somehow recognizable. you blink, disoriented, as you take in the street around you. it feels like a memory—one deeply embedded in your mind. you look down and see your pinky linked with someone else’s, the warmth of their hand anchoring you. confused, you follow the connection, eyes tracing up their arm to their face. at first, the features are blurry, making you squint. and then it hits you, as clear as day.
it’s minji, but not the minji you know now. it’s sixteen-year-old minji.
your heart stutters in your chest. she looks exactly as she did back then, her bright smile lighting up her face. her eyes are wide and full of life, just like you remember from the night market where everything between you had changed. the place where you’d confessed to each other, turning a casual hangout into an unplanned first date.
“what’s wrong? you look a little pale,” minji says, tilting her head in concern, but there’s a playful lilt to her voice.
“minji?” you manage to say, your voice wavering. “what’s going on? you—this—”
“y/n, why are you acting weird?” she laughs softly, her hand sliding into yours, fingers intertwining easily. her thumb brushes lightly against your skin, a touch so familiar it makes your heart ache. “did you skip a meal again? i told you to eat before we came out here.”
her words are like a time capsule, pulling you back to when she’d always remind you to eat. even when she was drowning in her own trainee schedule, she’d send texts making sure you were taking care of yourself. back then, you were just friends. or maybe more, even if you didn’t want to admit it.
“i—i have to go,” you stammer, your chest tightening as panic floods your system.
“again?” her smile fades into a frown, brows knitting in confusion as you pull your hand away from hers. “you’re leaving again? without explaining?”
“what?” your voice cracks.
“you’re always leaving me,” she says, her tone dropping. “are you ever going to stop?”
“minji,” you whisper, shutting your eyes against the guilt that washes over you. the regret is palpable, twisting in your stomach. “i didn’t want to, but i had to.”
when you open your eyes again, you’re somewhere else. the market is gone, and you’re left disoriented once more, thrown into another unfamiliar scene.
you’re on a couch now, rubbing your eyes as you sit up. the air smells sweet, like pancakes. your favorite—sundays at home, topped with fresh maple syrup. the scent guides you into the kitchen, where a girl is standing at the stove, her back turned to you. long, dark hair, pajama pants, a loose t-shirt.
she turns, and your heart nearly stops again. it’s minji.
but this time, she’s not sixteen. she’s the age she should be. the present minji. your minji.
“you alright, love?” she asks, concern in her voice as she turns the stove down and sets the spatula aside. she walks over, fingers gently fixing your messy bedhead. “bad nap?”
her touch is soft, her presence warm. she cups your cheek with one hand, her thumb brushing against your skin. “you looked a little shaken up.”
“i’m… no, i’m okay,” you lie, leaning into her touch for just a second. your eyes drift past her, trying to ground yourself. “are you making pancakes?”
“yeah,” she says shyly, her lips curling into a soft smile. “you mentioned missing home, so i thought i’d surprise you.” she presses a light kiss to the tip of your nose. “there’s a batch ready for you.”
“thank you,” you murmur, the words barely leaving your lips as a lump forms in your throat.
“anything for you, baby.” she takes your hand, leading you toward the stove where a plate sits—two pancakes perfectly stacked with raspberries and syrup. it’s thoughtful. so minji.
you love this, you love her. you never stopped loving her, you couldn’t ever do that. but instead of feeling warmth, you feel a pit growing in your stomach. something’s not right.
“this isn’t right,” you say, voice trembling as you put the plate down.
minji blinks, tilting her head in confusion. “what’s wrong? is it the pancakes?”
“not the pancakes,” you say, stepping back, your hands shaking. “this. none of this.”
she moves closer, concern deepening in her eyes, but you instinctively back away.
“y/n, what are you talking about?”
“this isn’t real,” you choke out, your voice breaking. “i don’t deserve this. minji, i broke up with you. this never happened.”
a tear slides down your cheek, your lip quivering uncontrollably as the weight of your words sinks in. “i’m sorry, minji. i’m so, so sorry. i keep doing this to you. i’m so sorry… i love you so much.”
minji’s expression mirrors the heartbreak from that day—the day you stood at her door, delivering the news that shattered everything between you. the pain you inflicted on her then, it’s all here now, reflected in her eyes.
before she can say anything, you turn, running toward the door, heart pounding in your chest.
…
you shoot up in bed, gasping for air. it takes a few moments before you realize where you are. blinking rapidly, you rub your eyes, trying to ground yourself in reality. you grab your phone, checking the notifications—something from your mom, and a random emoji from haerin in the group chat.
this is real. you're awake. it was just a dream.
it's one in the morning, and you're sitting on the edge of your bed, face buried in your hands. your eyes are shut tightly, trying to suppress the emotions that are threatening to surface. after a deep breath, you force yourself to stand, legs feeling unsteady but somehow keeping your balance. you make your way to the bathroom, turning on the light, squinting as the brightness stings your eyes. you splash cold water onto your face, hoping to snap yourself out of the lingering shock. you stare into the mirror and the reflection looking back is someone you barely recognize—someone you can’t stand. your breath shakes, your brows furrow, and you hastily wipe the water from your face before switching off the light and heading toward the living room.
you stop in the kitchen first. grabbing a glass from the cabinet, your fingers hesitate when you realize it's the one minji gifted you for your first birthday together in the group. the memory flashes in your mind—you remember the shock on your face being caught on live stream, eyes wide when she handed you a clear glass with your favorite cartoon character on it. you can almost hear the laughter from that moment, but now it just feels heavy in your hands.
you fill the glass with water and take a sip, catching your distorted reflection in the stainless steel of the fridge. your hair’s a mess, faint lines under your eyes telling you that sleep hasn’t been kind. you lean your forehead against the cool surface of the fridge, closing your eyes and sighing deeply as exhaustion sets in even deeper.
"are you okay?" a voice comes from behind, making you jump and spill a bit of water onto the floor.
it’s minji—of course it’s minji.
"woah, hey, let me help you clean that—" she steps forward, concerned.
"i’m fine," you lie, shaking your head, waving her away as you kneel down to clean the small spill. "it’s just a few drops, don’t worry." you place the glass on the counter and grab the nearest paper towel, crouching down to wipe the floor quickly, feeling her eyes on you the entire time.
minji watches you closely, her expression soft yet concerned, taking in your restless, frantic movements.
"are you sure you’re alright?" she asks again, voice low, gentle.
"yeah," you breathe out quietly, still not meeting her gaze.
"why are you up this late?" she presses, stepping a little closer, her presence warm but heavy with concern.
you straighten up, tossing the paper towel in the trash. "i just had a… a strange dream."
"nightmare?" she asks softly, tilting her head.
"something like that." you try to brush it off, but you’re too tired to put much effort into sounding convincing. minji watches as you trudge over to the couch, your body language saying more than your words. you sit heavily, sipping your water before setting the glass down on the coffee table. leaning back against the cushions, you close your eyes, trying to sink into the silence, but it doesn’t bring comfort.
minji follows, sitting a few feet away, watching you, clearly wanting to understand. she can tell something’s off. "y/n," she says softly, her voice coaxing your eyes open, "is everything okay?"
you don’t respond right away, instead turning your head slightly to look at her. there’s something vulnerable in your eyes, a longing, a quiet ache. but you sigh, closing your eyes again, trying to swallow it all down.
"i’m sorry," you whisper after a beat.
"for what?" minji asks gently, scooting closer to you, her hand hovering over yours as if she’s not sure whether to reach for you or not.
"everything," you mutter, voice thick with regret. "minji, i’m sorry for everything."
she shifts even closer now, her hand softly covering yours, her thumb brushing lightly against your skin. "is this about…" she trails off, already knowing what you’re referring to.
"yeah," you say quietly, eyes still closed, voice tight. "i’m sorry. i’m so sorry." your voice breaks, and you finally open your eyes, but you can’t look at her. "you didn’t deserve what i did. i’m sorry i debuted with you, i’m sorry for all of it. god, minji, i’m so sorry."
"y/n," she breathes out softly, her hand gripping yours a little tighter now. "we were young. we didn’t know—"
"i didn’t want to break up with you," you blurt out, cutting her off. "my company… they saw my lockscreen. i’m so stupid. they made me break your heart." the words spill out, your voice raw and trembling. "you were never a burden. i never stopped loving you. seeing you now, after all this time, you’ve grown into this incredible person, and i… i can’t stop loving you. it’s killing me. i don’t deserve to love you after what i did. i tried to push it down, but i can’t. i hate myself for it." your breath catches in your throat, tears welling up as you force yourself to keep talking. "you’re so perfect. you’re everything i could never be."
"y/n, stop," minji pleads, her voice thick with emotion, but you pull your hand away, retreating from her touch.
"no, you don’t get it," you say, shaking your head. "you’re perfect, minji. i’m being compared to you every day, and i’m nothing like you. you’re the role model, you’re everything the group needs. and i’m just… i’m an asshole. i tried so hard to keep things casual, to pretend i was fine, but i’m not. i’m not fine. i’m still so in love with you that it hurts." you pause, voice faltering, barely holding it together. "i’m sorry. i’m so, so sorry."
minji’s eyes fill with tears as she listens, her heart clearly breaking for you, for everything you’ve carried alone. she tries to pull you in again, to comfort you, but you push her away one last time, unable to accept the closeness.
and she doesn’t push further. she just watches, her heart breaking alongside yours.
a tear slips from her eyes, she’s looking at your trembling body and unstoppable flow of tears. minji shakes her head, opting for holding your hands instead, her fingers brushing against your knuckles.
“y/n, do you remember what i told you before?”
“what?”
“y/n i hated you for a good amount of time. but time made me realize that we were both just trying to reach our dreams, and if that meant you sacrificing us, then… i support you. i did support you. that never stopped me from loving you either.”
you stay silent and look at her through tear lined eyes.
“i tried to push down a lot, and it hurts to see that you’re hurting from doing the same thing as me. as your member, as your friend, and… as someone who loves you beyond measure: i don’t want you to hurt anymore. it’s okay, y/n, it’s okay.”
you let her pull you in this time, her tears stain your hair and her arms wrap around you so warmly that all you can do is succumb to the tenderness. you sob into her shoulder, muttering at least three more “i’m sorry’s” into her.
“y/n, what i said before still goes. ‘i love you. i love you when i’m exhausted from practice, i love you when i’m stressed over exams, i love you when we only have a few minutes together… i love you every moment of every day.’ i never stopped loving you ever.”
the memory echoes in your head, replaying the two times minji said it—both sincere, both heart-wrenching. you feel a little less terrible when her hands begin rubbing your back in slow, soothing circles. you can hear the slight crack in her voice, the way she tries to stay strong for you because that’s who she is—someone who always holds it together for everyone else.
(“are you okay?” you’d asked her once, catching that brief shift in her expression, the kind she tried to hide.
you took a better look at her that day, noticing the dark circles under her eyes, the slight lag in her movements, like she was carrying something heavy. it took her a few seconds to force a smile, nodding as if everything was fine.
“yeah, sorry,” she said casually, quickly turning her attention back to her food. “just thinking.”
“minji,” you said her name softly, reaching out to place your hand over hers. she looked up at you, a little surprised, her cheeks flushing slightly. “tell me what’s going on.”
“it’s fine, i—” she started, but you cut her off with a raised brow, your expression making her shrink a little under your gaze. the warm glow of the restaurant’s evening lights illuminated her features, the soft orange hue catching the tiredness in her eyes. she pursed her lips, letting out a small sigh before admitting, “everything’s been really difficult lately. i’m losing energy. i feel like i’m not doing well. it’s just… i wish you could be there with me more. thinking about you is what gets me through practice. knowing i’ll see you, even just once or twice a week, pushes me to keep going.”
you didn’t say anything at first, just pushed your bowl of noodles across the table towards her before standing up and sitting beside her instead of across. she looked at you, confused, but you reached for her hand again, holding it in both of yours as you gazed at her with all the love and understanding you felt.
“you’re always doing great, minji. no one’s doing it like you,” you said, voice soft but certain.
“really?” her voice was small, like she wasn’t sure if she should believe you.
“of course,” you reassured her, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to the side of her head before pulling back. “i’ve been feeling the same way. just the thought of you keeps me going. let’s be each other’s push, okay?”
minji’s face softened, her lips curving into a small smile. she nodded before leaning in and pressing a tender kiss to your lips.
“okay,” she whispered.)
as you sit here now, her hands still rubbing comforting circles on your back, the memory feels bittersweet. she’s always been there for you, even when you couldn’t be there for her.
minji holds you close, her arms tight around you like she’s afraid you’ll slip away if she lets go. you bury your face deeper into the crook of her neck, your own arms wrapped around her, clinging like she’s your anchor.
“you’ve always been my push,” minji says softly, her voice barely above a whisper. “that’s never changed.”
she pulls back gently, lifting your head and brushing away the strands of hair that have stuck to your tear-streaked face. her own eyes are glassy, but she smiles through the tears, looking at you in a way that makes her feel exposed, vulnerable—like she’s seeing you for the first time all over again.
“can we try again?” you ask, voice trembling with hope and hesitation.
she blinks, heart racing. the weight of your question settles in the air, heavy and fragile.
“of course,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “that’s all i’ve wanted.”
time seems to freeze, the air still around you as your eyes lock. it feels like you’re both sixteen again, standing in that alleyway after a long night at the street market, except this time it’s different. now you’re on the couch, in the dorm you both share because you made it—you both made it. you two achieved your dreams. but there’s always been something missing: each other.
minji cups your cheek, just like she did back then, but her touch is softer now, more tender, more vulnerable. her thumb strokes your skin as she leans in slowly, her eyes fluttering shut before her lips meet yours. it’s gentle, delicate, like she’s afraid you’ll crumble under the weight of her affection. your hand instinctively moves to rest atop hers, feeling the warmth of her knuckles against your cold skin. the kiss is soft, laced with the remnants of tears, but somehow it tastes sweet. everything you’ve been holding onto—all the fear, all the doubt—seems to melt away in that moment.
you pull back first, though only just. your lips hover near hers, close enough to feel her breath.
“i love you, minji,” you say, voice low but firm. “i’m never going to make you doubt that again.”
her eyes soften, and she brings her hand to the nape of your neck, pulling you in again. “i love you too, y/n,” she whispers, before pressing her lips to yours once more, this time with a little more certainty, a little more sweetness. like you’ve both finally found what you’ve been missing.
—
hyein stumbles into the living room, rubbing her eyes, not fully awake yet. she groans, dragging her feet toward the kitchen, but stops mid-step when she spots two familiar heads peeking out from the couch. her sleepy eyes narrow as she tries to make sense of what she’s seeing. the sight takes a moment to register, and when it finally does, a sleepy smile creeps onto her face.
you and minji are tangled together on the couch in what looks like an awkward but oddly comfortable position. your head is resting on her shoulder, one arm lazily draped over her, your hand clasped loosely with hers. minji’s other arm is wrapped around you protectively, her head tilted at an angle that looks uncomfortable, but somehow it balances out with the way yours is twisted. the corner of the couch has you two nestled in tight, looking cozy in your pajamas, mouths parted slightly, both of your eyes a little puffy from sleep—a little too puffy to be from sleep. hyein stares, completely baffled at how you both ended up like this.
haerin is the next to wake up, and she spots hyein standing by the couch, phone in hand, snapping a picture. haerin yawns as she saunters over, her head tilting like a curious cat when she catches sight of you two. her brows furrow, and before she can even ask, your head slips, falling from minji’s shoulder and landing in her lap. your torso twists in an awkward, almost painful-looking angle, but minji instinctively shifts, scooting over to make room and pulling you closer, making sure you’re both comfortable without even waking up.
"what’s with them?" haerin asks, her voice low and groggy, her eyes narrowing at her oldest members.
"dunno," hyein shrugs, amused. "i’ve never seen them this close."
"me neither."
before they can figure out what’s going on, hanni and danielle stroll in, spotting the younger girls gathered by the couch. curiosity piqued, they walk over to see what’s going on, and as soon as they do, their eyes widen in surprise. a grin spreads across hanni’s face, and she wastes no time whipping out her phone to capture the moment. she quickly airdrops the photo to danielle, who giggles as she looks down at her phone, eyes twinkling with mischief.
"what’s up with the parents?" hanni teases, barely able to hold back a laugh.
"parents?" haerin repeats, raising an eyebrow.
"just look at them."
you and minji remain tangled together, still sound asleep despite the odd position, yet somehow, you both look peaceful, like it’s the most natural thing in the world. your head rests in minji’s lap now, her hand still protectively holding yours, the two of you fitting together as if you’ve always been like this.
hyein and haerin exchange glances, amused but confused, while hanni and danielle quietly snicker like children who’ve stumbled onto something they weren’t supposed to see.
—
the next few weeks with promotions still going on postpones the time you get to explain everything to your members. but eventually you and minji sit down with them in the living room, going over the whole timeline of events and earning a variety of reactions.
your members gather around, all seated in the living room, eyes trained on you and minji. there’s a tense sort of anticipation in the air, the kind that comes with heavy conversations. you and minji exchange a glance before diving into the timeline of everything— how it started, how it fell apart, and now, how you’ve found your way back to each other. each word feels like you’re lifting a piece of the weight that’s been suffocating you both for so long.
the reactions from your members are immediate. there are lots of “ohhhh”s and “ahhhhs” as they start piecing things together, understanding slowly dawning on their faces. you see nods of realization, and even though some of the details are painful, they listen intently, faces softened with sympathy. they admit they’d sensed something was off but had never wanted to pry, giving you both the space they thought you needed. now, knowing the full story, their expressions shift to one of collective empathy, eyes filled with a kind of pity and concern.
you and minji sit close, your hands intertwined, a subtle reassurance to each other that it’s okay to finally share this. as you speak, minji’s thumb rubs gentle circles against your skin, grounding you when the memories become too much. the frowns deepen as you recount the harder parts—the breakup, the misunderstandings, and the silent pain you both carried alone. but there’s also relief. it’s evident in the way your members nod along, like everything makes sense now. they’ve always had your backs, and now it feels like they’re rooting for you even harder.
"we never wanted to push," hanni finally says, her voice soft, almost apologetic. "we figured you two just needed time."
danielle nods along, her eyes a little glossy, while haerin sits quietly, processing it all. hyein, surprisingly, offers a small smile, "i’m glad you guys worked it out."
you and minji exchange another look, this time a lighter one. something close to peace settles over you both, like a burden’s been lifted now that the truth is out there. it feels good to be understood, to no longer have to hide the past or the pain from the people closest to you.
this isn’t like before—and that’s a good thing. there’s no going back to what was, because now you’re both different, stronger, and this version of “normal” is something you’d choose over and over again. you’ll grow alongside minji, hand in hand, side by side, and she’ll be growing with you too.
you wouldn’t trade anything in the world for this.
—-
"you called?"
“texted, but close enough,” you respond with a smirk. minji rolls her eyes playfully before plopping onto your bed, looking at you curiously.
“did you need something?” she asks, her voice soft but carrying a hint of amusement.
“i just remembered something,” you say, moving toward the bed. “i wanted to show you it—give it to you before your shoot. you said you had to leave in twenty, right? well, i found this while i was organizing things."
“what is it?” she asks, her curiosity piqued. her eyes follow your movements as you crouch down, pulling a slightly worn shoe box from under the bed.
you smile as you open the lid, revealing a collection of small mementos—photos, letters, and trinkets that instantly stir up memories for both of you. minji leans closer, her eyes widening slightly when she recognizes some of the items.
“i never threw anything out,” you explain, voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. “i couldn’t. i remember you gave me two copies of this because you couldn’t keep one at your place while we were both trainees. i’ve always kept it… never really looked at it after everything, though… after i…”
your voice trails off, the weight of that unfinished sentence hanging in the air. minji, understanding without needing an explanation, moves from the bed and sits beside you on the floor. her shoulder presses against yours, a silent comfort.
you reach into the box, pulling out a photo strip. it’s from one of your dates, back when things were simpler, when everything felt new. you flip it over, revealing four small photos in sequence. the first has your cheeks pressed together, wide smiles on both your faces. in the second, you’re both forming a heart with your hands. the third shows minji kissing your cheek, and the last one has you kissing hers. your smile deepens as you hand it to her.
minji stares at the strip, her fingers lightly tracing the edges of the photos. her expression softens, caught between disbelief and tenderness. you two were so young back then, but the love captured in the pictures is unmistakable—just like the love that still exists between you now. she glances at you, her gaze full of warmth.
“now you can keep it,” you say, voice gentle, “without worrying about anyone taking it from you.”
“y/n…” minji whispers, her voice so quiet, so filled with awe. she hugs you tightly, and before you know it, she's covering your face with kisses, one after the other, until finally, she presses her lips to yours in a long, tender kiss that feels like everything you've been holding back for so long.
“i seriously love you so much,” she breathes out when she pulls away, her forehead resting against yours.
“i love you more,” you reply, grinning.
“more than timbits?” she teases, raising a brow.
you giggle, poking her cheek. “don’t get ahead of yourself now.”
-
sodamom0 liked this · 4 months ago
-
klvarchives liked this · 4 months ago
-
b4dwh0r3 liked this · 4 months ago
-
maladaptivedaydreamerstuff liked this · 4 months ago
-
minjiplush reblogged this · 4 months ago
-
t0shi0 liked this · 4 months ago
-
yanyanne03 liked this · 4 months ago
-
yasgotaproblem liked this · 4 months ago
-
kangdanielle liked this · 4 months ago
-
guwwii liked this · 4 months ago
-
thenextbestt liked this · 4 months ago
-
mixoukio liked this · 4 months ago
-
secretcessy liked this · 4 months ago
-
khlxsj liked this · 4 months ago
-
parkchaeyoungswife liked this · 4 months ago
-
safire1298 liked this · 4 months ago
-
applelime1 liked this · 4 months ago
-
xinyusgf liked this · 4 months ago
-
jepetro liked this · 4 months ago
-
soojinstattoo liked this · 4 months ago
-
badhabits101 liked this · 4 months ago
-
florrrrrrrrr liked this · 4 months ago
-
vivienneremoroza liked this · 4 months ago
-
jiwux liked this · 4 months ago
-
strangercat liked this · 4 months ago
-
grumpy-cha00 liked this · 4 months ago
-
re-pear1 reblogged this · 4 months ago
-
kizuki-reblogs liked this · 4 months ago
-
lolzyeetedpepe liked this · 4 months ago
-
lesleepyyy liked this · 4 months ago
-
loudgardenerpenguin liked this · 4 months ago
-
channgie liked this · 4 months ago
-
hanniloveeeer liked this · 4 months ago
-
uoayhoa liked this · 4 months ago
-
lilllaaac-fleur liked this · 4 months ago
-
kitrinz liked this · 4 months ago
-
muyasstuff liked this · 4 months ago
-
everybodyliesnoexceptions liked this · 4 months ago
-
curiousdinosaurrr liked this · 4 months ago
-
iuysz liked this · 4 months ago
-
ssamssamu liked this · 4 months ago
-
wonyoluvr liked this · 4 months ago
-
yejiscene liked this · 4 months ago
-
snowy12 liked this · 4 months ago
-
iiibxtrflyy liked this · 4 months ago
-
deersteel liked this · 4 months ago
-
agpa liked this · 4 months ago
-
brizgiee liked this · 4 months ago
-
grubbyyy liked this · 4 months ago
-
srchabunny liked this · 4 months ago
More Posts from Keiji-jin
help the way I pressed the notif bc you said “HOY” so I was like D:
roster | mikha lim.



part one of three.
summary ; excitement was something she was missing and you provided it for her. she thinks you're clueless, but she doesn't know that every move she's made has already been played by you.
pairing ; mikha lim x fem!reader
content ; mikha goes to admu, reader goes to up, mikha volleyball player, BABAERO CONYO MIKHA!!!, hookup culture, half smau...., suggestive, read to see ^-^ !!! taglish w eng translations!
genre ; fluff, angst
wc ; 3.8k
playlist here !!
a/n ; thank u @heybeautifulstranger for helping me translate hehe labyu

mikha loved volleyball. without it, she was nothing. at least, that's what she believes.
she put all her time and effort into the sport, disregarding everything else to improve herself. she was already the star player; every young person in the country was familiar with the name ‘mikha lim’. although the girl was incredible at her sport – that wasn’t the reason why she was so well known.
mikha was attractive. she knew that and apparently everyone in the country did, too. people came to her games to watch her play, but not watch her play. mikha wished people focused more on her performance as an athlete, but she wouldn’t lie and say she didn’t like the attention. support was still support.
“huy, friday night na at nagpapractice ka pa? late na, mikhs. umuwi ka na. (it’s friday night and you’re still practicing? it’s late, mikhs. you should go home.)” her coach advised, putting equipment away. mikha laughed, gripping the ball she held. “not yet, coach. may energy pa ako. (i still have energy.)”
“baka namimiss ka na ng jowa mo. (your girlfriend might miss you already.)” she teased, earning another laugh from the star player. “i don’t have time for a relationship po.”
“oo nga, baka magalit ang mga fangirls and boys mo. (that's right, your fangirls and fanboys might get mad)” she joked, mikha rolling her eyes playfully. she threw the ball over to her coach, deciding to pack up for the night. “i can’t have a jowa when i’m supposed to be the nation’s girlfriend!” she grabbed her bag and water bottle, turning to her coach who was clearly amused by her answer. “i’ll go home na po, night, coach! see you next week.”
“bye, mikhs.”
she gets into her car, checking her phone for the first time in hours. dozens of notifications flooded her phone as soon as she changed her focus from do not disturb. ranging from message requests sent by ambitious and confident (delusional) fans to thirsty comments on her posts to getting tagged on edits, and so much more.
she ignored all of them and immediately checked her messages.



when she said she had no time for relationships, she meant it. but that didn’t mean no time for some fun. she drove home to freshen up and get ready to meet up with her friends.
the loud and busy atmosphere always amuses mikha. while some people enjoy quiet and intimate places, mikha enjoyed the club.
“lim! over here!” kyle, one of her friends, calls out. she made her way past the sea of dancing drunks and sat with her group. “get me a drink, kyle.” she said, making the group laugh. “wow, hello to you, too.” he sassed before getting up to get mikha’s go-to. “sinong target mo today, mikhs? (who's your target of the day, mikhs?)” evan asked with a smirk on his face. “kakarating ko lang, van. (i just got here, van.) let me drink first, then that question will be easy to answer.”
kyle shortly came back to the table with mikha’s drink, sliding it over to her excitedly. “thanks, kyle.” she dragged, taking a sip from the glass. “okay, you drank na. who’re you going after?” evan pushed, causing the group to laugh. “what if you just sit and relax, mikhs? it won’t hurt to go a night without sleeping with a random girl.” aiah suggested, foolishly, mikha thought. she scoffed, shaking her head. “ate aiah, where’s the fun in that? besides, i’m not in the mood to sleep with someone tonight.”
“then?”
“baka make out lang... (probably just make out...)”
and that’s exactly what she did.
as soon as she got a little tipsy, she moved to the dance floor and picked a girl up without even trying. she pushed the girl against the wall, her lips on hers and hands on her waist. mikha had no idea what her name was or where she came from. they made small talk before, but mikha didn’t bother listening. she knew where this was gonna lead and she didn’t want to waste time remembering details about someone she was never going to see again.
she pulled away from the girl, who’s eyes twinkled with excitement. “this was fun, thanks…?”
“jen! my name is jen! but it’s okay if you don’t remember! you wanna get out of here? we can get out of here!” she asked, eager to spend more time with mikha. she slowly let go of jen’s waist, squinting her eyes before shaking her head. “nah, i’m good. you have a good night, though.” and with that, she left the girl alone in the bathroom stunned and embarrassed.
she made her way back to her group’s table, all eyeing her with amusement in their eyes. “what?” she asked, grabbing a fry from the basket they were all sharing. “who was it?”
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” she shrugs, grabbing another fry to try and end the conversation.
“maybe you should check your hair and makeup before you leave the bathroom, lim.” kyle teased, catching mikha off guard. “shit, is it bad?”
gwen laughed before passing her a wet wipe. “nakakatawa ka, mikhs. (you’re funny, mikhs)”
“i don’t even remember her name. it was like jane something..?”
“jen?! jen santos?! you made out with jen santos?!” evan yelped, letting out the biggest laugh. “what’s wrong..? she was pretty.”
“yeah, she’s pretty. but she’s like.. obsessed with you. i heard she’s been trying to catch you at one of these things so she’s gone to every club in the area.”
“are you being for real..? what if we’re talking about different jens?” mikha suggested. but evan was quick to whip his phone out and show her jen’s account. “is this her?”
“oh..”
evan let out another laugh, causing kyle to laugh with him. “she’s just gonna keep coming here now! we need to find another place!” they joked, earning an eye roll from her. “she’s probably not that bad, you’re just–”
“mikha!” a voice calls out, catching everyone’s attention. it was jen. she walked over to their table a little too excitedly, standing over mikha and placing her hand on her shoulder. “i think you should rethink your decision, malapit lang ang place ko! (my place is near!) we could dip right now.” she offered, trying to be seductive. “ah.. i’m good, jane.” mikha replied, removing her hand off of her shoulder. “it’s jen, pero okay lang! (but it’s okay!) you wanna sit with me? nakaupo lang ako doon. (i’m just sitting there)”
“i’m good.. i’m here with my friends. you have a good night, though.” she smiled politely, trying her best to send her away. “oh, okay! i’ll catch you mamaya (later)! i’ll get your number or something.”
mikha simply nodded as the girl walked away, extremely giddy from the interaction. “shit.. no wonder why it was so much easier.” they all laughed at her, echoes of various comments following. “this is why you should’ve listened to me and stayed still.” aiah joked, but meant it.
“next time, i won’t even look at a girl.” her friends snickered knowing that would never be possible.

you were a casual sports enjoyer, being in a sports enthusiastic school – you couldn’t escape it. everyone would go to all the games, basketball, volleyball. it was one of the few things that brought everyone together, but it never came above your academics.
it wasn’t like all you did was study, you liked to think you had a healthy school life balance, going out with your friends whenever they wanted to hang out, seeing some people here and there. you were able to maintain a good social life with good grades and that was more than some people could wish for.
and your unexpected ‘attention’ really did help you get through a lot. it all started when you helped your best friend, jay, out with his band, x:o’s set at a local event. they were starting to become popular, their songs being played across the country. they were heavily praised for their good music and well.. good looks.
x:o consisted of five members, jay, jake, stephen, ricky and evan. they were indeed a group of attractive young men and managed to put out really good music. after the gig, the group’s account dedicated a post thanking those who helped out and you managed to catch the eyes of a lot of fans.
after the post, your social media accounts started to gain traction, earning a few thousand followers in the time span of a week. you appreciated the attention, but with your focus on school, you were never really active on social media, only posting a few pictures and a few tweets here and there. the attention only grew from there as more and more people started to approach you, later sharing on social media how kind and down to earth you were or how pictures didn’t do you justice. jay teased you for it all the time, joking about how he should be your manager since he’s the reason why all of this started.
your entire friend group has never missed a gig of theirs, but people only ever pointed you out. you and jay started to gain attention as a pair, people getting suspicious by how close you were, eventually leading to them thinking that you were dating. both of you never made an effort to shut the rumours down as you simply didn’t care. (and it helped jay a little with the people who would flirt with him)
your group would laugh at the posts knowing that you looooved women. you were jealous of jay because of the girls that would approach him; some very attractive girls. ‘i should’ve joined a band’ you would joke whenever a girl would speak to him.


x:o landed a gig at the vault, a very popular club in the area. every weekend this place was crowded, which is why this gig is a big deal. jay was setting up with his band while the rest of you (except angelo) had started drinking. “thanks sa food, ate jho! (thanks for the food, jho!)” sheena shrieked, stuffing her face with the food jhoanna bought for her. “wala yun… dapat magpasalamat ka kay y/n kasi treat niya ‘to. (it’s nothing, you should actually be thanking y/n since this is her treat.)” she glared, causing you to laugh. “okay lang yun, jho! libre kita next time, bribe lang kasi ‘to. (that’s okay, jho! i’ll take care of it next time, this was only just a bribe.)”
“ang daming tao rito, mga walay batasan. (there are so many people here, people with no manners.)” colet commented, kissing her teeth and subtly glaring at everyone she saw. “yun oh, yung naka green, suntukin ko siya, beh– (that one, the one wearing green, i’m gonna punch her–)”
“nakarating pa lang natin, may suntukin ka agad? (we just arrived and you’ve already found someone to punch?)”
whilst your group started bickering about colet’s impulsive (and violent) thoughts, the nation’s girlfriend had arrived with her group of friends. “guys, we were just here last week.” mikha complained, getting dragged by kyle. “since when have you ever been against clubbing?” kyle asked, “besides, we’re here for evan. supportive friends tayo diba? (we’re supportive friends, right?) our little rockstar, performing at our favourite club. full circle moment na ‘to, guys. umiiyak na ako. (this is a full circle moment, guys. i'm crying now.) ” the girls rolled their eyes at his drama, hitting him with teasing comments about how lame he was.
your two groups were together more often than anyone realised. despite having friends in the same band; your friend groups never came in contact with each other. jay was familiar with evan’s friends and evan was familiar with jay’s friends, but their friends knowing each other wasn’t the case.
mikha slid over to the bar, smiling at the bartender as a non-verbal order. she was here all the time and was very familiar with all the staff. while waiting, she looked around to observe the crowd and her eyes landed on an unfamiliar face. she stared at you for a few seconds, growing more and more curious as she watched you from a distance. feeling someone’s gaze, you turned to the side and locked eyes with the particular redhead. the both of you held eye contact until a glass was placed in front of her. she turned away from you to thank him and immediately turned her head back to your direction, but to her disappointment; you were gone.
she brought her drink over to their booth, everyone curious about her expressions. “nangyare? (what happened?) you good?” gwen asked, concerned. “yeah, i just think i found my girl for the night.”
“ayan ka na naman. (here you go again.)” aiah sneered, shaking her head. “sino ba? (who is it?)”
“i don’t know yet eh, but i’ll find out.”
you got back to your group with snacks in hand, sitting down next to sheena. “nakita ko yung atenean na volleyball player (i saw that atenean volleyball player). the redhead.”
“ah, mikha lim? nandito siya? (she’s here?)” jhoanna asked. “is that her name?”
“yeah, kaibigan ata siya ni evan. bakit? (i think she’s friends with evan. why?)” gelo replied, throwing a peanut into his mouth.
you shrugged and took a sip of your drink, “wala lang (nothing), she’s pretty.”
“her fans call her the nation’s girlfriend,” gelo added, making sheena giggle. “seryoso! (i’m serious!) babaero yan. (she’s a player)”
“ang corny, (how corny)” she added. you rolled your eyes at her, although you did agree. but you did see why they called her that. you only needed one glance to see that she was attractive.
as time went by, more drinks were bought. kyle was already failing to stand up straight and the band had yet to start. both groups made their way to the front of the stage, cheering as the much anticipated band started preparing for their entrance. “the vault, let’s make some noise!” cheers erupted as the five members walked onto the stage, all their faces laced with excitement and determination. “are we ready to have some fun tonight?” jake beckoned with his bass guitar in his hand. the cheers grew louder, all of you grinning at jay as you saw the excitement on his face, “this is ‘looking for somebody (to love)’, hope you enjoy!”
the familiar guitar melody started playing, jay and stephen immediately getting into it. everyone in the crowd started dancing along as jay started singing the first verse. mikha coolly bopped her head to the music, trying her best to avoid contact with random strangers. you were on the other side of the stage as she caught your eye, her red hair made it easy for her to stick out in a crowd. you admired how elegant her small movements managed to be, smiling briefly as you watched her dance with her friends. coincidentally, she looked up and locked eyes with you once again. a small smirk crawled across her face, pleased with the fact that she had your attention in this crowd. you sent a small smile her way before turning away to dance with jhoanna. she couldn't tear her eyes off of you. she needed to have you.
a few songs after, the crowd seemed to quiet down. “should we slow it down a little? gusto niyo ba? (would you guys like that?)” jay asked, playing with his earpiece.
“this is fallingforyou.”
What time you coming out?
We started losing light
mikha turned to find you, seeing you leaning on colet. you felt her gaze on you, tilting your head as your eyes met once again. she was amused, but she didn’t know why. there was something about you that was so alluring. she moved to face the band before turning back to look at you, but you were gone. again.
“uh, guys, i’ll be back.” she said, eyes searching through the crowd to find you. “yeah, yeah. have fun, mikhs.” they replied, knowing what she was leaving to do.
she pushed past dozens of people on the dance floor, relentlessly trying to find you. after getting past what felt like hundreds of people, she finally found you standing against a wall near the side exit with your arms crossed.
“eager, are we?” you asked as she walked towards you. “no.. not really. i mean, you must be though, right? leaving the crowd to wait for me here?” she grinned, standing over you. “who says i’m waiting for you?”
“your eyes are telling me everything i need to know.” she mumbled, hand travelling to your waist. “everything? really?”
And on this night and in this light
“am i wrong? do you have something else to say to me?”
you hummed, pretending to think, letting her pull you closer towards her. “bilisan mo na. (hurry up.) i’ve been thinking about you for almost an hour now. my patience is running out.” she complained, ducking her head into your hair, taking in the scent of your shampoo. your breath hitched as her face moved closer to yours, “can i?”
you replied by grabbing her neck and placing your lips eagerly onto hers. mikha let out a breath of content, pleased with the contact you two were finally making. she gripped onto your waist, soothing you with caresses every now and then.
I think I’m falling, I’m falling for you
your lips moved against each other with vigour, pouring out all of the lust and need you managed to have for each other in a short period of time. for the first time in forever, mikha was excited. she loved the feeling of your lips against hers, the faint scent of your shampoo, how you felt in her hands. she didn’t want to stop kissing you.
you pulled away briefly, placing your head on her shoulder, trying to catch your breath. “you.. i...” she began, unable to form words. you laughed and patted her cheek, not bothering to speak as you knew you’d go through the same struggle. “you wanna get out of here?” she managed, looking down at you with lidded eyes. “i’d love to, but i’m here with my friends.” you answered, the taller girl clearly not pleased with your answer. “please,” she whined, wrapping her arms around your waist to bring you into a hug. “i don’t even know your name, i can’t leave with you.” you laughed, hugging her back regardless. “my name’s mikha, can we go now?”
you laughed once again against her shoulder, shaking your head. “well, mikha. i still can’t leave with you.”
“thank you all so much! we’re x:o, we hope to perform for you guys again soon! mag ingat kayong lahat! (take care everyone)” you heard from the speakers, causing you to fix your posture. you slowly let go of mikha, getting an annoyed groan out of her. “i have to go, it was nice meeting you, though! mag ingat ka, ha? (take care of yourself, okay?)”
“wait, what?”
“i’ll see you, mikha.” you smiled, locking lips with her once more before you ran into the crowd to find your friends.
“wait! i don’t even know your name!”
mikha groaned, throwing her head into her hands. who cares if you were with your friends? she could take care of you (in more ways than one). she stayed there for a few minutes, trying to fight off the warm feeling you left her with. she made her way back to her friends shortly after, evan finally joining them. “mikhs! i was wondering if you were gonna come back. you okay?” aiah asked as she sat down next to her. mikha defeatedly dropped her head onto aiah’s shoulder and sighed, “yeah..” was all she let out.
she felt frustrated, you brought her so much excitement and even if she wanted to do it again (which she did); she wouldn’t be able to. this was the first time she wished she made some sort of small talk before, because other than the taste of your lips and the scent of your shampoo – she knew nothing about you.
you rushed back to your friends, blindly trying to fix your appearance before reaching them. you saw colet waiting besides the door that led backstage. “well, well, well.” colet began, “nakakatawa ka talaga, beh. (you’re really funny.)” she laughed before dragging you inside. “look who i found. bumalik siya, guys. (she came back, guys.)” you rolled your eyes at her before hugging jay, “good job, jayboy! you did great tonight.”
“eh, pano mo malalaman? nawala ka bigla. (how would you know? you just disappeared.)” sheena joked, sticking her tongue out at you. “i heard the entire set! ano ka ba? (what are you saying) i was just doing something.” "right.. right.. you should fix your makeup, y/n. that something didn't really hold back."
“what?!” you asked, grabbing the mirror jhoanna was holding out for you and immediately turned around in embarrassment. you quickly tried rubbing the lipstick marks off your face as your friends laughed at you.
“whatever, guys. basta (anyway), good job, jay.”
he laughed but was thankful for the support. "it's okay, y/n. it's a club! i encourage this behaviour, in fact - i endorse it." you rolled your eyes at him as he slung his arm around your shoulders. "let's go na? back to mine? we can get food and drinks on the way." he suggested, wanting a more intimate celebration. "paano ang mga bandmates mo? celebration niyo? (how about your bandmates? your celebration?)" angelo asked. "we had our little moment na after the show. bukas yung celebration namin. okay lang. ready na ba tayo? (we'll have our celebration tomorrow. it's okay. are we ready?)" you all agreed and hurriedly made your way out of the venue.
mikha spent the rest of the night trying to find you, not knowing you left from the back exit.
“god, mikhs. who the hell did you hook up with? you’ve been so out of it since you came back.” kyle commented, evidently noticing her friend’s odd behaviour. “i wish i knew, i literally don’t know what her name is. i feel like an idiot, i begged her, for fuck’s sake. i don’t beg.” she complained, taking another sip of her drinking, causing aiah to take it away. “okay, that’s enough for tonight. lasing ka na, uminom ka na ng tubig. (you’re already drunk, you should drink water now.)” mikha groaned at her but listened anyway.
“can you describe her?”
“ganda. pretty. cute. ganda. hot. pretty. gwapa. i don’t know,” she slurred, slamming her head down on the table dramatically. “whatever, i don’t even care.” she continued.
mikha got over you the next day, but slowly, a week went by and you still occasionally managed to cross her mind. she still wondered about who you were and unfortunately still wanted to see you again, but there were plenty of fish in the sea and you know, it wasn’t that serious.

– hope u enjoy..... @yumtooki :3
Oh and ending my life this ate
Mute!
Non-Idol! Hanni X Mute! Reader
Description: Life as a mute girl in university: How does Y/n navigate her life, especially when she has to work on a project with her crush, one of the popular kids on campus? Can Y/n find a way to express her feelings?
Warnings: Trauma; strong language; kys/kms jokes; insults; bad family 😔 (kind of abuse?)
Chapter: I´m so Dumb.... (Fully- Written)
Masterlist
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hwang Yeji.
A name to be envied, pitied, and a name everyone knew all too well.
Hwang Yeji. A child who wanted everything.
Every bit of attention? She got it. Every toy? She got it. Everything she ever dreamed of? She got it.
Even at the age of three, when her older brother made a new friend in kindergarten, Yeji felt compelled to steal that friend away. She did everything to make it happen. She repeatedly bought him little gifts, chose him as her partner for games, and whined about it at home.
But once she had that friend, she played with him for a while before eventually discarding him.
That had always been Yeji's way of navigating through life. Over and over, she needed variety, whether or not it involved her brother.
Yeji never thought her heart would be broken.
She was always the one breaking others' hearts, regardless of whether they were male or female.
Yet somehow, someone managed to do it.
Hwang Yeji's heart was broken.
After what was, for Yeji, a long relationship of seven months, Choi Jisu succeeded in breaking Hwang Yeji's heart.
She accomplished what no one else had.
Hwang Yeji was hurt, shattered, and her anger and bitterness ran deep to her core. She wanted nothing more than to project her pain onto someone else.
If others suffered, Yeji would feel better.
And who would make a better target for that than Kim Y/n? A mute, manipulatable little girl? A girl who wanted nothing more than to be seen?
But it didn’t go quite as Yeji hoped.
Sure, she managed to hurt Kim Y/n’s heart... but it wasn’t broken.
Of course... how could you break a heart that was already shattered?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeji wanted to cheer Y/n up, to piece her heart back together only to break it again, stomp on it, and claim Y/n for herself.
Yeji had developed an obsession.
But how could Y/n dare? Why didn’t she want anything to do with Yeji? How did she even allow herself to go out with someone other than Yeji?
But Yeji owned Y/n. She was Yeji’s and Yeji’s alone.
How could she manage to reclaim Y/n?
Rescue her.
Money was never an issue for Yeji. Luckily, Yeji was her father's favorite child. Especially since her brother came out as gay.
It wasn’t particularly difficult to find Y/n’s partner on the trip. Paying him off was even easier.
Yeji reveled in the sight.
Y/n all alone by that tree, with the rain pouring down mercilessly, looking utterly exhausted. Simply helpless.
Yeji’s heart skipped a beat as she held her umbrella over Y/n and looked down at her. Those sad eyes looked up at Yeji.
Yeji didn’t want to feel anything.
She just wanted to break Y/n to forget her own heartbreak.
But... ever since she had known Y/n, she hadn’t thought about Choi Jisu even once. Her head was full of Y/n...
This wasn’t love, she knew that.
Or was it?
Yeji bit the inside of her cheek when she saw how Y/n looked a bit disappointed upon seeing her. Yeji knew exactly who Y/n was hoping for. Y/n was waiting and hoping for Pham Hanni. Pham Hanni was supposed to save her.
Yeji didn’t like that one bit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yeji was slowly going crazy.
She wanted Y/n all to herself. So why didn’t Y/n want her? Yeji had everything anyone could ever dream of.
She was rich, beautiful, muscular, tall, and most of all, she was good in bed. So why didn’t Y/n want her?!
Every time Y/n texted her, a glimmer of hope would light up.
Y/n belonged to Yeji.
But that hadn’t been true for a long time...
Y/n now belonged to Hanni...
Yeji couldn’t accept that. Not now and probably not ever.
Yeji didn’t know exactly what she felt for Y/n. Was it possessiveness? Obsession? Did she just want to ruin Y/n? Or... was it really love?
None of that mattered at the moment.
Y/n had left Hanni to come to Yeji.
Just like she should...
“There you are,” Yeji said with a broad smile as she looked down at the slightly shorter girl. Yeji could feel her heart skip another beat. One hand on the door handle, she opened the door wider for Y/n.
Y/n exhaled and stepped inside. Her face showed a mix of annoyance and concern. Almost immediately, she held up her phone so Yeji could read the words on the screen: “What’s the emergency?”
Yeji had to fight hard not to let a grin form on her lips. Her eyes took on a slightly sadder look. Y/n really wanted nothing to do with Yeji, did she?
And yet...
Why else would she come to her late at night?
Yeji pulled Y/n into her arms. She closed her eyes as she deeply inhaled the scent of the younger girl. “I just wanted to see you. That was the emergency,” Yeji confessed quietly. She could feel Y/n trying to push her away, but Yeji didn’t allow it. She kept Y/n tightly in her arms without looking at her.
“I know exactly what you feel for me, Y/n,” Yeji whispered as her hands slowly slid down Y/n’s back. “I know Hanni doesn’t touch you. Doesn’t satisfy you,” Yeji murmured, her lips close to Y/n’s ear.
An amused snort escaped her nose as she felt Y/n shudder. Unaware that Y/n, for the first time since knowing Yeji, felt a sense of disgust.
Hwang Yeji was just disgusting.
“Remember?” Yeji asked quietly as she finally looked at Y/n’s face. She immediately froze when she saw the slightly disgusted expression on her ex-girlfriend’s face. Yeji’s mouth opened.
She recognized that face.
That’s exactly how Choi Jisu had looked at her....
Yeji felt the bitterness and anger she had kept inside for years erupting. Her eyes narrowed as she watched Y/n slap her hands away and then quickly tap on her phone, “You’re just disgusting.”
Yeji hissed, “Oh, come on. Don’t be so prudish! You belong to me and me alone, understand?! Not Hanni and not anyone else! You’re mine!” Yeji said, visibly angry. Her jaw was tense.
Y/n shook her head. Y/n was disappointed. Disappointed in Yeji but mostly disappointed in herself. Why had she allowed Hwang Yeji to enter her life? Especially after she had already hurt Y/n once before?
Kim Y/n... was just plain stupid.
Yeji hissed as she saw Y/n open the chat with her girlfriend Hanni. A fuse burned through, and suddenly she grabbed Y/n’s phone, holding it out of reach as Y/n, mouth open, tried to retrieve her smartphone.
Yeji laughed mockingly. Her eyes were still narrow and full of rage. “You’re pathetic,” Yeji simply said as she shook her head. Her grip on the phone tightened before she threw it to the floor. Her face was furious. “You’re mine! Only mine! Just mine!”
Stunned, Y/n looked first at her shattered phone and then at Yeji. “No,” Y/n said, making Yeji’s eyes widen.
This was the first time Yeji had ever heard a word from Y/n.
Yeji suddenly smiled broadly and grabbed Y/n’s arms. “Y-You can talk?!” she asked, visibly surprised.
It was almost as if Hwang Yeji... was insane.
“Y-You can talk,” Yeji said again, a bit happier, as she pulled Y/n into her arms and held her tightly. “God... I love you so much.”
But no matter how many times Y/n wanted to hear those words, it was the wrong person speaking them. The smaller girl swallowed and, with a firm and strong push, shoved Yeji away from her. Her eyes were wide as she spoke with her hands.
“You’re crazy.”
Yeji didn’t understand. She didn’t understand what Y/n was signing. She didn’t understand why she was happy that Y/n spoke. She didn’t understand why Y/n didn’t want her.
She just didn’t understand why Y/n was leaving her...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kim Y/n was just plain stupid...
Why on earth did she go to Yeji? Why did she ruin the beautiful evening with Hanni? Why did she ever think Yeji could be a good person?
She didn’t know.
Kim Y/n wasn’t someone who cried. She never cried...
She didn’t cry when her grandmother died, she didn’t cry when she got lost in the woods, she didn’t cry when she became mute.
But now she cried...
It felt like all the sorrow and frustration that had built up in her over the years was finally being released. Her tears seemed endless.
She didn’t deserve Hanni...
Y/n didn’t deserve love...
Even when an older woman approached Y/n and spoke to her, her tears wouldn’t stop. She cried. Loudly.
Fortunately, she knew Hanni’s number by heart. It was the only number she knew by heart...
She would lie awake at night, staring at Hanni’s number, hoping that Hanni would text her. Over and over, she stared at Hanni’s number until the digits burned into her brain.
Y/n texted Hanni. Her vision was blurred by her tears, but she managed to write to her girlfriend. The only number Y/n could ever remember...
It didn’t take long for her to see Hanni. Y/n’s tears kept flowing. Her ears rang, and headaches plagued her.
In the car.
At Hanni’s house.
No matter where she was, Y/n kept crying.
Over and over, she gestured with her hands.
“I don’t deserve you. I’m sorry.”
Unaware that Hanni understood everything.
Hanni looked concerned, hurt, but most of all, compassionate. She wasn’t angry. Not a single bit. Her hands gripped Y/n’s waist, “What happened?” Hanni asked softly as she cupped Y/n’s face, wiping the tears away.
It was the first time Hanni had ever seen Y/n cry.
The first time Y/n cried at all.
It didn’t take long for Y/n, now somewhat angry at herself, to explain in sign language what had happened. Hanni remained silent. She just watched Y/n. Hanni’s jaw tightened. Her hands balled into fists as her nostrils flared.
Pham Hanni wasn’t the type to get angry. But right at that moment, she wanted nothing more than to scream in rage. She wanted nothing more than to punch Yeji in the face.
Y/n belonged to no one!
Y/n wasn’t an object that could be owned...
Hanni smiled gently when she saw the tears in Y/n’s eyes. “I love you,” she said, and suddenly Y/n froze. Her eyes widened, and her mouth opened slightly as she looked at her girlfriend.
“I don’t deserve you.”
Hanni smiled as she gently shook her head, “I don’t care.”
Y/n’s brow furrowed, “You... understand me?”
Hanni smiled wider as she nodded, “I understand you, Y/n. I love you,” Hanni said as she took a small step toward the mute girl. A smile on Hanni’s face. Her eyes scanned Y/n’s entire face.
“We should break up.”
Hanni laughed as she took Y/n’s hands in hers to stop her from talking about breaking up. Y/n’s mouth opened as she looked into Hanni’s eyes. Y/n’s eyes still filled with tears.
“I love you, Y/n.”
Y/n’s lip quivered.
Those were the words she wanted to hear. The words she needed.
From the right person: Pham Hanni.
"I love you too, Hanni," Y/n whispered softly as she sniffled.
Hanni smiled as she pulled Y/n into her arms, holding her tightly. This was where Y/n belonged. Not with Yeji, but with Hanni. The woman Y/n loved and the woman who loved Y/n back.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Taglist: @sixflame438 @saysirhc @itzzyyyyyyydaaaa @somedaydream @wonyoungssi @gtfoiydlyj


RAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
RAHHHH-
[16] NEW STAR
warnings: none
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e732acb3d83728c43eb0ba12503a57f7/acf53af9881e0dc0-02/s500x750/85f8e7451252cd53dac975e1e7c23734e9d8a169.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2f384af2c4d60d66bf16f56939909261/acf53af9881e0dc0-14/s500x750/8cdd3bbb65f745b586c399a72ea5091bc9afa704.png)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d901e14867f7e24c603d7dcf5625c291/acf53af9881e0dc0-a5/s500x750/064c330e479d5e9d9e6bfbbf454b6f235a5ed0cb.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/16558ddb0c8b20589d1e5a2dbc72b617/acf53af9881e0dc0-fa/s500x750/9a0cfa107fac9c318cd3d329a65fefb8948c8254.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5a606d430dea7a24a8236bdd262c2948/acf53af9881e0dc0-d3/s500x750/76bb0cfcbc508b23491cfae3b66193b97967f447.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/23b6c83bb4e4bfacf4bc774fa48329c9/acf53af9881e0dc0-ce/s500x750/32f4a421adf542aeb74b388df60410ac0dea7c7e.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d4ca6aead974f2cde445f71c74bd2112/acf53af9881e0dc0-f2/s500x750/73c914024653739a881cf4d4745ef70e9bee8b76.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d1823d82435571866570dff9eaedc7db/acf53af9881e0dc0-37/s500x750/3bd9a9314681e857e6ebc439ec960ced3ad2d2b0.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/9fcd56d5463859cfa160ac850f80782c/acf53af9881e0dc0-3d/s1280x1920/a62e41b2eb397138d1f516912b8aba448dd4ebed.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2ac34594301db006c512fa66c33ec4eb/acf53af9881e0dc0-67/s1280x1920/592c2538670b31a9c37875220d66b77600f250b8.jpg)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7a345e7635df8c4a77236d5e6a8aa213/acf53af9881e0dc0-48/s1280x1920/89ee6e953a00aeac6de1d5f81b6f603a84a9dad5.png)
![[16] NEW STAR](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ae4e5c183631caa5ebd448124bba9963/acf53af9881e0dc0-89/s500x750/fc00ca24e4e118072b9b8f259bb54eb47026d7b5.png)
previous | masterlist | next
TAGLIST ⸺ ✶ @silantryoo @imahallucination11 @jisooftme @yerimbrit @linnnsworld @edeivveiss @urmom2314 @aespasoooool @mygfiswonyoung @yeetaberry127 @@sixflame438 @yourmyst4r @shegoswhoree @saysirhc @hwm1hyun @literallybipanic @yejiscene @gayforalll @yvsvrn @bunnywonyo @karifrogs @thefckghost @yoontoonwhs @pandafuriosa60 @somedaydream @hotluvlet @pagedpick7 @lizseos @cy8erpunkz @keiji-jin @lizseos @xszn @awkwardtoafault @hellokiraa @chicopichu @chocolatestrawberrykryptonite @lesbian4themis @literallybipanic @tjdc25 @st4r4ngel @jihyos-hoe @jxmis
CLOSED.