Be Careful Of Asexuals Y'all, I Heard They Aren't Fucking Around

Be careful of Asexuals y'all, I heard they aren't fucking around

once again thinking abt ORV as one of the most brilliant and self-aware genre commentaries ever, cus' isekai/transmigration is-- in my experience-- a deeply lonely genre. the yearning to be plucked from the stress and apparent dead spiral of real life and dropped into a setting where you matter somehow. the fact that this transmigration is often by way of death, completely abandoning the real world, is particularly telling and... bleak. but whether it's a recognition of being 'the most baddass dude', the narrative satisfaction of trying to 'fix' the plot of a doomed story, or even just befriending characters we've laughed and cried for, we want so badly to be a part of something more.

and the way ORV recognizes that and doesn't mock it, but gently reminds us that... real life isn't removed from that. it may not be as straightforward and 'narratively' satisfying as a constructed story, but we can enact change in the world around us, and we can find connection and solidarity in others. the things we want from escapism are things we often can achieve in real life, at least on a small scale. if only we recognize the inherent depth and complexity of others as, y'know, fully-realized human individuals. hell, if we recognize ourselves as more than simple characters with set paths and tropes.

ORV takes every opportunity to remind us that we are not alone, no matter how bleak and isolated we feel. our lives are constantly touching others and vis-versa, and we leaves marks on the world we can't possibly predict. we matter, we always always matter

A surprisingly helpful bit of social maneuvering I've figured out from trial and error: Throughout your life, you are going to need things from people. Often, it's going to be on a deadline. And when that deadline passes, you generally want to know what's going on. So, you need to ask them.

There are two kinds of people, broadly, in this situation. The Shameless will tell you what the holdup is, with absolutely no regard for if the reason is "good enough". This is actually very helpful, because you get the real reason immediately, and can start working on a solution.

The Ashamed is trickier. People who are Ashamed are people who were often told they were giving excuses when they were trying to explain, and they'll often avoid you until they solve the problem on their own. This causes them and you a lot of stress, and often takes a lot longer to solve.

Long term, the strategy for dealing with people who are Ashamed is to provide a supportive environment where they're comfortable sharing any problems they're having with getting things done. But, there's a way to at least partially short-circuit that:

Provide an explanation for them.

One example might be "Hey Susan, I noticed that I don't have your report yet. Are you busy with other projects?" The readymade explanation signals that you're willing to accept an explanation, which is the big anxiety point.

Sometimes, you still won't get an honest answer- especially if the honest answer isn't "good enough" by the standards of the person who traumatized them. But, I've found that it often at least gets you a lie that lets you give them some slack or work around the problem.

Let's say that Susan has actually completely forgotten that she needed to do the report. She's horrified at herself, and completely unwilling to admit the real problem. But, she can now safely reply with "Sorry Jennifer, I've been swamped, and it got lost in the mix. I can have it to you in two days. Does that work?"

From there, so long as Susan gave an estimate for when she can actually do it, she and Jennifer can hash out a solution.

It's not a perfect solution, but it works astonishingly well for how small of a change it is.

Wish there was a better social shorthand for “I’m sure they’re a lovely person in their own way but we are so baseline incompatible that being around them longer than five minutes makes me feel like exploding into smithereens.”

WAIT!

Before you hit send on that ask, reblog, or reply, remember to stop and PROOFREAD!

am I Pissing on the Poor?

did I Read the post in bad faith?

could I be Overexaggerating?

am I Out of line for saying this?

is it kind of Fucked up to say that to a total stranger?

is what I said Rude?

am I being Egotistical?

am I Angry at words that weren't in the post?

did I Dream up a pretend person to get mad at?

ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT YOURSELF FROM LOOKING LIKE A JACKASS ONLINE!

"It took me TWO years to finish this sketch book!" Well that's cuz you're not fuckin sketching. Those are fully painted pieces dawg that's a renderedbook. I've gone through four sketchbooks in my off time this year alone I just draw stupid faces and shit for fun. pussy up like the rest of us and start drawing stick figures with guns